Chapter 1
@Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL Get ready for a hot treat: Roz and Holler face off against each other and some spicy sauce β and questions! - in this edition of Spicy Face-Off! https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ [Youtube preview: Video titled "Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge". The thumbnail is Rozanov and Hollander, facing each other with grim expressions, a bottle of hot sauce between them.] @hooves_and_skates replying to @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: omg have you guys seen we gotta have a watch party!! @centaurs_on_skates81 @username_goes_here @skellige_pirate @username_goes_here replying to @hooves_and_skates: absolutely! im getting the popcorn readyyyyyyy!!
OCC π΄π§π [Jane π has been added by me] Bood (July 2nd, 6:18pm): ooooh! welcome welcome mr. holler! [ β reacted by 20 people] [β₯ reacted by Jane π ] Dyke οΏ½ (July 2nd, 6:18pm): wekcine from all of us [β₯ reacted by Jane π ] Dyke οΏ½ (July 2nd, 6:18pm): *welcome Bood (July 2nd, 6:18pm): guys just react to my message dont spam every1 Me (July 2nd, 6:19pm): Wow, I convince him to join us and he is not even worth a proper welcome ic ic Barry (July 2nd, 6:19pm): shut up roz and bring ur boy round so we can welcome him in person not our fault u hog him [ π reacted by me] Barry (July 2nd, 6:20pm): also who came up with holler that's boring Jane π (July 2nd, 6:21pm): Thanks for the welcome guys! and I don't know, maybe Hayd? Barry (July 2nd, 6:22pm): well what do u think about Sholly? Me (July 2nd, 6:22pm): Sholly??? [β reacted by Jane π ] Barry (July 2nd, 6:22pm): Shane + Holly = Sholly Me (July 2nd, 6:23pm): what the fuck Barry
Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge Ottawa Centaurs (Subscribe) ( π 58 | π ) ( βͺ Share ) ( π Save ) (β’β’β’) 37.5K subscribers 376 views 2 hour ago Fan favourite Ilya Rozanov and newest Centaur Shane Hollander sit down with Harris Drover to talk sports, spice, and spilling the beans. Topics include the upcoming season, their thoughts on finally playing together, and hot sauce as a condiment. Join us for this week's edition of Spicy Face-Off as we see who can stand the heat of our questions and hand- selected hot sauces better. Who do you want to see next time? Let us know down...(read more)
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit at a table in front of a white backdrop, the Centaurs Logo splashed behind them. In front of them are two plates and cutlery, a row of hot sauce, and a score saying 0:0 in the left corner.] Drover, off-screen: Ilya Rozanov, once again facing off against Shane Hollander in today's edition ofβ¦ Spicy Face-Off! Welcome, Gentlemen. It's nice to have you. Hollander: We're happy to be here. Rozanov: [laughs] Thank you for having us. We are spicy, yes. [Next to him, Hollander snorts in amusement] Drover: So, how are you feeling about today's challenge? Who do you think will come out on top? [Hollander looks at Rozanov, who waggles his eyebrows at the camera.] Drover: Keep it PG, gentlemen. Rozanov: [laughing] Fine, fine. Let me put it, it isn't much of a face-off β I am man where it counts, but this doesnβt count. [he winks at the camera] Hollander: [hiding his amusement poorly] He definitely is a baby about - ouch! You are! Drover: [resigned] No violence, either. Rozanov: [To Drover] Sorry, sorry. He deserve it. [To Hollander] I'm not baby, you are freak. [To the camera] He's a freak. But okay. You aren't here to see us squabble, so here goes. Hit us [winks again] Drover: I said no violence, so let's start off with the first sauce - take your wings, boys, and the bottle on the very left...
@username_goes_here: oh rozzyboy, were absolutely here to see β and hear β you squabble [Picture ID: Still of a frame from the Hot Ones video of Hollander and Rozanov, showing Rozanovβs line of But okay. You arenβt here to see us squabble] @centaurs_on_skates81 replying to @username_goes_here you think we could convince them to start a podcast? Iβd listen to them allllll night long @jenna1988 replying to @centaurs_on_skates_81 @username_goes_here jeez not another white guy podcast @filoooooooo replying to @jenna1988 @username_goes_here omg did you just whitewash Hollander??? [click for 10 more replies]
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge Drover: I said no violence, so let's start off with the first sauce - take your wings, boys, and the bottle on the very left... Your left, that is. [Both Hollander and Rozanov do as they're told, taking a bite.] Rozanov: [indistinct sputtering and cursing, his face flushing] Hollander: You're starting us off softly, I see. Rozanov: [wheezing] Softly?! He said no violence and yet he comes out with this. Drover: Some milk, Roz? Rozanov: Yes. God, yes. Drover: In the meantime, first question for our newcomer, Shane Hollander. [The camera zooms in on Hollander, cutting off Rozanov chugging milk like his life depends on it. Maybe it does.] How has Ottawa treated you so far? Hollander: Very well, thank you. The city is great and the team has been very welcoming. I've settled in quite nicely, and Barret's even taken it upon himself to give me a new nickname. Drover: Oh? Any good ones? Hollander: Well, his first try was pretty terrible. Sholly. I don't think that one's sticking. Drover: Famous last words. Hollander: [chuckles] I believe he knows what's good for him. Drover: No violence, boys.
OCC π΄π§π Barry (September 8th, 2:14 pm): Sooooβ¦ Spriggsy can take some heat, huh? More than Rozy at least Me (September 8th, 2:14pm): Spriggsy??? Barry (September 8th, 2:15pm): Holler. Me (September 8th, 2:16pm): Just. Spriggsy?? Howww???? Barry (September 8th, 2:16pm): Well. Hollander. Holly. Sprig of holly. Spriggsy. Duh. Jane π (September 8th, 2:16pm): You sure know how to make a guy feel welcome. [ β reacted by you and 5 others] Jane π (September 8th, 6:17pm): This has to be the worst I've heard. Barry (September 8th, 2:19pm): is that a challenge? Jane π (September 8th, 2:19pm): Delete it now or bag skate to start off training camp Me (September 8th, 2:20pm): You know I do it )))) Barry (September 8th, 2:20pm): π«‘ You love your mouth burning from hot sauce, I love my legs burning from bag skate Holmser (September 8th, 2:21pm): BARRETT Hazy (September 8th, 2:21pm): BARRETT IS@G *IS2G [8 people are typingβ¦]
@username_goes_here: Very brave of them to share the fact that holler is also called sholly #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff @centaurs_on_skates81 replying to @username_goes_here: must be nice to be confident like holler... or should I say sholly? @berndthebread92 replying to @username_goes_here: Mein lieber Sholly is all I can say to that :D @jenna1988 replying to @berndthebread92: ??? dude ur making no sense wtf @hooves_and_skates replying to @jenna1988: go away u know bready's German learn some culture jfc
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge Drover: But it seems like both boys kept down their wings - with varying levels of composure, but they did it all the same - and so it's time to award you both one point [the counter in the corner swaps to 1:1 as the camera zooms out again] and go to level 2. Rozanov: [groans] There's a level 2? Hollander: There's 9 levels, I'd think. [gestures at the nine bottles lined up] Rozanov: NINE? Drover: Yes, this was just the start. Rozanov: I give up. I can't. Give me all the questions, but no more sauce. Hollander: I'll happily take double the sauce. Can we do that? Can I take his sauce? Drover: The challenge is that you both eat it. Rozanov: I'm dying, Harris, truly - you want to kill favourite player? Drover: I have bad news for you, Roz: my favourite player is Troy. Rozanov: [miming fainting] Noooo and you add backstab to insult. Drover: That's life. Now, chop chop; your next sauce awaits.
@hooves_and_skates: so will we see roz die? #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff @centaurs_on_skates81 replying to @hooves_and_skates: i bet yet. unless drover takes pity @username_goes_here replying to @centaurs_on_skates81: droves better take care; fave socmed person or no, if roz perishes its on site @hooves_and_skates replying to @username_goes_here: no violence pals. No violence
@jorm1938562: woah can we talk holler's spice tolerance that boy is either talking big or the real deal #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff @troybarry17 replying to @jorm1938562: he's insaaaaane dude @haleythornton91 replying to @troybarry17: omg ur my fave player cna i get a jersey pls [click to see more replies] OCC π΄π§π Jane π (September 9th, 7:26pm): Okay who of you involved Hunter in this? Barry (September 9th, 7:28pm): omg Hunts chimed in what did he say Bood (September 9th, 7:29pm): I'm not even sure anyone other than you and Roz are that close to him Maybe @Smitty or @Kegs? Smitty (September 9th, 7:31pm): I'm innocent what are we even talking about Kegs (September 9th, 7:32pm): Omg are you still on about the socks thing wasn't me thats for sure Me (September 9th, 7:33pm): the socks thing? Kegsy (September 9th, 7:36pm): uh nothing forget I said anything Barry (September 9th, 7:37pm): Okay what did Hunts say Jane π (September 9th, 7:39pm): He said nothing important. Excited for practice tomorrow. :) Dyke οΏ½ (September 9th, 7:41pm): genuinly cant tell if thats nice or terrifying ... i think terrifying
Haaser (September 9th, 10:41pm): (it was spicelander btw) Smitty (September 9th, 10:42pm): SPICELANDER SPICELANDER OH MY GOD THAT IS GENIUS Me (September 9th, 10:45pm): Haaser I like u so this is my warning you might want to put on extra pads tmr the murder eyes came out ))) Haaser (September 9th, 10:51pm): yknow what? worth it :D Barry (September 9th, 10:55pm): How did you even know? Haaser (September 9th, 10:56pm): a lady doesn't kiss and tell ;)
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge [...] Drover: Aaaand we're drawing to a close here in our challenge! Only one bottle remaining - the one with the skulls, of course - and we may have a first here: a competitor still standing! [camera pans out to show Hollander sitting at the table, face sweat drenched but looking smug. Next to him, Rozanov is lying on the floor, whimpering. The score reads 2:8] Drover: Will he make it? Let's find out. Mr. Hollander - please help yourself to the final wing. Rozanov: [voice weak] of course he'll make it. This is nothing. You've not seen hell and survived until you've watched him eat a habanero raw. [Hollander rolls his eyes but does not refute or confirm, just calmly takes the last wing and the final bottle and pours a generous helping of hot sauce onto it.] Hollander: Thank you for having me. Any chance I could take the bottle home with me? Drover: You first have to eat this one. Hollander: Alright. [Hollander takes a hearty bite out of his hot sauce-drenched chicken wing. New droplets of sweat bead on his forehead, but he chews and swallows calmly.] This truly has been a treat. Drover: [brief pause] You scare me, Mr. Hollander. I do not say this easily. Hollander: Please, call me Shane. Or Holler, if you must. Drover: It's an honour. And with that - congratulations, you have survived both our questions and the hot sauce selection. And if you ask nicely, Cathryn might have an extra bottle for you. Hollander: I'll be sure to do that. C'mon, Ilya, let's get you some bread. Rozanov: [whimpers, but lets Hollander pull him off the floor. He turns towards the side of the camera, pointing a finger towards the off.] I hate you. Drover: It's been a pleasure, too, Roz. And that's it, folks. Tune in next week for another fun chance to get to know our players a little better.
@the_real_haase99 We can all only aspire to be as amazing as our very own Spicelander. Welcome to the team, Hots! @irozanov81 tell ur boy congrats, right? #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff @hooves_and_skates replying to @the_real_haase99: OMG SPICELANDER @xxHotGreavesxx replying to @the_real_haase99: oh god hes gonna kill haaser isnt he noooo @irozanov81 replying to @the_real_haase99: congratulations on ur deathwish i will not give eulogy )))
Chapter 2
Chapter Notes
Iβm back! Now that Iβve actually read the entire series, I can actually deliver on what I promised in the summary. Minor tweaks to nicknames have been made on the previous chapter to reflect my updated knowledge. But, first of all, thank you for the very warm reception π itβs meant a lot to me. Second of all β Iβm sorry for torturing you all with that link last chapter. I hoenstly did not expect that many people to click, and mainly wanted to avoid having the link lead to some random, terrible yt vid π Content warning for some slurs in the fake twitter exchanges. See the end of the chapter for more notes Lily (June 6th, 3:27pm): theres new soc med thing you see?
Me (June 6th, 4:43pm): ??? Lily (June 6th, 4:43pm): harris came up w it he asked me 2 b on Me (June 6th, 4:45pm): Would it kill you to type properly? I know you can do it. Lily (June 6th, 4:45pm): only type 'properly' for important stuff ;) Me (June 6th, 4:46pm): Oh? Is there a rhyme and reason to what you do? Lily (June 6th, 4:46pm): da I think you should show up naked next time you are in Ottawa. Me (June 6th, 4:47pm): Is that related to your team's social media thing???? Lily (June 6th, 4:47pm): π€£π€£π€£ no but wld be very funny is example for proper text but no harris wanted me to answer questions. qna just with chicken wings + spice Me (June 6th, 4:50pm): Are you sure that's the right challenge for you? Lily (June 6th, 4:51pm): no is why i tell him i do it w u once u are centaur Me (June 6th, 5:07pm): We don't know that yet. They might not have the cap space. Or they might have other prospects. Lily (June 6th, 5:08pm): π they absolutely want you I want you. [ β€ reacted by me] Me (June 6th, 5:09pm): I know. β€ Let's talk tomorrow over dinner, I'll be back in Ottawa around noon. Clothed. Lily (June 6th, 5:10pm): Spoilsport Me (June 6th, 5:10pm): Who taught you that word? Love you. Lily (June 6th, 5:11pm): gem twins π Love you, too β€ Call later? [ β€ reacted by Me]
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge [Rozanov drops thin lines of sauce on his chicken wing before handing the bottle over to Hollander. Hollander slathers his in the sauce. Rozanov glances at it and averts his eyes, valiantly appearing at ease. /Editor's note: he does not quite suceed.] Drover: Okay, shall we ease you into this with a question of your own, Roz? Rozanov: Yes, please. [He looks rather relieved as he drops his chicken wing on the plate in front of him.] Drover: Very well. Tell us, how long has this move been in the making, having Holler join you in Ottawa? I'm sure the fans are curious about that. Rozanov: Well... [he looks over at Hollander, who is swallows his bite and smiles at Rozanov.] Maybe not quite as long as people think? Of course, playing together - which we only really get to do at the All Star Games - was a dream. [The video cuts from Rozanov and Hollander to a compilation of past All Star Games with Rozanov and Hollander's best plays while Rozanov keeps talking.] And All Star Games are great, great fun, very - uh, refreshing? But they are not regular hockey, so... I always hope that, one day, we really play together. Drover: And now that dream is coming true? Rozanov: Yes. We are both very good, top of the league, and we will tear [bleep] up on the ice. [The compilation ends just in time to show Rozanov grinning.] So, when Shane's contract was up last season, and with everything that happened - Ottawa is great team, best team in the league with players, and Shane is quite good, very good center. We will see where he fits. Drover: So no Hollander-Rozanov line? You've played on his wing in the past, haven't you? Rozanov: Is Coach's decision, in the end. I am very good center too, maybe better than him, so we see what Coach wants us to do. Power play will be fun, I hope. Drover: Okay, Roz, that was quite the in-depth answer, but enough stalling: your chicken awaits you. [Rozanov makes a wounded noise and sends a pleading look off camera, and then very reluctantly takes a bite. Hollander grins.]
OCC π΄π§π Zane Boodram (September 8th, 1:45pm): do I really have to watch OUR OWN SOCMED to find out that you're coming for my job roz?? Jacob Holmber (Septmber 8th, 1:46pm): Wait why your why not Barry's? Zane Boodram (September 8th, 1:46pm) bc I'm the odd man out. can u imagine the outrage at having a queer top line π₯°οΏ½ Lily (September 8th, 1:47pm) well is still time @Zane Boodram bisexuality so much more fun π©·ππ quick D, Chouner out would be so very funny queer power out to shut down Me (September 8th, 1:50pm): Ilya, you can't pressure anyone to come out. [ π reacted by Ilya Rozanov] Are you saying this team is too... forward? [ π€£ reacted by Zane Boodram Troy Barrett (September 8th, 1:52pm): OMG he's ACTUALLY FUNNY Ilya Rozanov (September 8th, 1:53pm): Why are you surprised? I tell you he is π
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge Drover: And now on to one of the spicier questions - everyone's wondering; what happened at the end of that game seven? What was going through your mind there? Hollander: [snorts] That was probably one of the most frustrating, heartbreaking things that's happened to me. It's just - it happens, you know; the ice gets resurfaced, but playoffs take their toll on everything, and ... We've always been competitive, Ilya and me [Rozanov snorts], from the very start - who gets drafted first, who wins Rookie of the year, who takes home the League MVP; we've always been competing against each other and making each other better. And that game - [Hollander exhales, bites his lip. He looks unhappy] it was a tough game, great competition, and I maybe wanted to beat his ass [Hollander nods at Rozanov] a little too much, tried to catch up to him a little too recklessly. Incredibly frustrating, and that one will haunt me to the end, I assume. I proved I'm the faster skater [a mini video pops up on screen of the most recent All Star Game where Hollander beat Rozanov in the Fastest Skater Competition by a fraction of a second], and, I guess, I wanted to prove it again there, and no one is more upset that I overextended and took a spill than me. Rozanov: [bleep], is there more milk? But he is right; he was terrible to be around right after. We had rule - obviously all teams have rules about playoffs - where we limit contact, don't see each other, but I figured it would be over once the series is over. [chuckles] He didn't come out of his shell until our playoffs ended, too. Hollander: [Warningly] Ilya. Rozanov: What? Is true! And people - people make big thing out of it, Shane letting me win, or something and - bull[bleep]. [The footage cuts almost imperceptibly to the same setup] So that is my answer to all the press out there, over summer: if I think he let me win, I wouldn't have married him. Farah Jalali - our agent - will probably kill me for it because she says everyone else is idiots, but [bleep] it. We've always competed against each other, and you can look at footage - he is the only one who can keep up with me because we two are best. Drover: Very humble. Rozanov: Is truth. Drover: Well, I may be biased, but I am certainly quite glad the two of you are on our team for next season. Thank you for your honest answer, in any case. And that's quite a nice segue into my next question as we move on to sauce number seven. [Rozanov moans pitifully.]
Farah Jalali (September 3rd, 7:18am): Thank you for the heads up. Take out the part where Ilya is cursing to no end; it makes you look juvenile to no end. You may leave in me threatening to kill you, because it's true. Other than that, I see no issue with this whole segment. You come across as very mature and talk... reasonably about what transpired. It may not make all questions disappear, but it will give them something to quote without bothering you. Just keep pointing them towards that when they bring it up. Next time, please go over something like this with met, too. Points to Shane for sticking to what we came up with. Me (September 3rd, 8:49am): Thank you! If I figure out a way to make Ilya stick to a script, I'll certainly tell you. π
@Tinderlin replying to @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: cant beleive theyd sign a traitor like that wtf #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff
@solaren replying to @Ottawa_Cetaurs_NHL: this is a DISGRACE!! And then giving these fags a platform for their lies #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff @username_goes_here replying to @solaren: the only disgrace is you, asshole, for using these slurs... #hockeyIsForEveryone @centaurs_on_skates81 replying to @username_goes_here: Block and move on, darling, they're not worth your time. Holler and Roz will show them #CentaursForCup2022 [replies have been turned off for this tweet]
@Libertyway1: No wonder #HollanderTheTraitor signed with the #OttawaCentaurs... only the worst team in the NHL would sign a backstabbing motherfucker like that @Libertyway1 replying to @Libertyway1: or should I say... backstabbing cocksucker? [replies have been turned off for this tweet]
@rozanov_scores: Taking a spill while racing up the ice is a time honoured tradition: a thread [1/?] [Picture ID: a .gif of breakaway by a Vancouver forward, tripping halfway up the opposing team's zone and losing the pcuk] @rozanov_scores replying to @rozanov_scores: There's of course Brendan Carson in 2005 [2/?] [Picture ID: a .gif of a three-man rush through the neutral zone where the left wing player trips on thin air and skids into the stick of the opposing defensive player] [click for 48 more replies] @puckmedaddy08 replying to @rozanov_scores: The copium is strong in this one #traitorsmustdie #montrealmetros @rozanov_scores replying to @puckmedaddy: fuck off you idiot
@hollanderoftheyear: I like what @rozanov_scores has been doing so stay tuned for a thread of moments that Prove Holler and Roz elevate each other's game, because hoo boy do I have some gifs for you :D
@centaurs_on_skates81: anyeone else get the feeling that ppl are just really jealous Holler didn't sign with their team? #CentaursForCup2022 #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge Rozanov: I refuse. I thought you love me, Harris, but you are monster. Drover: I'm only doing my job. Rozanov: Your job is to make us look good, not handicap team before season starts! Drover: [laughs] I didn't take you for a quitter. Rozanov: It is not quitting if I can't feel my tongue. Hollander: [sweat beading on his hairline as he eats his chicken wing] I really don't know what your issue is, this isn't so bad. Rozanov: I barf, Harris! You really want fans to see that? Drover: I think no one wants to see that. Okay, we leave that part in and you're absolved from your duties here? Rozanov: You are saint, favourite on team. You [points at Hollander] are not. If he also gave up, we would be free, yes? Drover: I think everyone will be invested in how far he can go. Just as everyone was very invested in what you got up to in your off-season... marriage? I'm sure that came as a shock to quite many, especially since you, Roz, were known as quite the ladies' man. Rozanov: [takes another sip of milk and laughs] Not for years now. But I think it would have come as shock to that Ilya, too. [Hollander takes a sip of water, looking mildly uncomfortable] Drover: Was that in response to being outed by Hayden Pike? Hollander: No! Hayden is an amazing teammate and one of my closest friends, and it was an accident - on his part as much as ours; we knew he was filming the video message and none of us thought to check the footage for what would be visible. Rozanov: Definitely it was not the way we wanted to come out, but we had already planned the wedding, booked catering, just trying to figure out how to tell our friends. [laughs] I guess Pikes did us favour there; then we could just say, 'Yes, is true, come to our wedding.' Drover: So no hard feelings there? Hollander: [stern faced, his eyes intense] Absolutely not. It wasn't his fault, and as Ilya said, it did solve one headache. [He grins wrily] It did give us a bunch of others, but overall - it's been pretty good. Ottawa especially has been great, the players, the staff, they welcomed me like I am part of the team already. It's gotten a reputation as being a bit of an underdog, but I think they -- we -- are on a great track, and it's certainly one of the most open teams. I think a lot of teams could learn from that, from the team spirit and just the strength this whole team gives each other. No one expected them to make the playoffs last season, and no matter the actual outcome of that first series, fact is that they pushed us - I mean, MontrΓ©al - to a game seven. Drover: Yeah, we always hear about the team spirit, about the bonds that bind, but this team is a great example of what that means. Rozanov: Near death experience very good for hockey, huh. Drover: ... I wouldn't quite say that. Rozanov: [laughs] I joke, I joke. Hollander: Not funny. But yeah, that moment last season... it put things into perspective. For me, certainly. To come back to your original question; that's maybe the answer. We'd planned on keeping this [gestures at himself and Hollander] quiet until we retire, to not... rock the boat, as they say, because our rivalry has been such a big thing in the league, but... [Hollander sucks his lips into his mouth and stops speaking.] Rozanov: He is right. I remember, on that flight, thinking that... if something happens, no one knows. No one knows that Shane.. Hollander: That Ilya... that the man I love was on that flight. I remember thinking the same when I got the news, after the game - they'd landed safely, by then, but just... Rozanov: Yeah. So. Very strong... wake-up call. Life is short. Too short to always hide. Hollander: And that's when we decided that we should take the leap. Be true to ourselves. [He flushes.] And, it's been a change, but... I hope for the better. No - I know for the better. Drover: Very eloquent. Rozanov: [Smirking] He practiced. Hollander: Ilya! Rozanov: What? Is true! [His voice turns conspiratorally] He is ashamed that I am smoother talker than him in my second languge. Hollander: Ilya. Drover: Practiced or not, that was very sweet. Very genuine. We're almost at the end, gentlemen; two more sauces to go, and with the spice turning up in that department, let's go to a few softer questions, starting with this or that while you turn to sauce number eight. This or that is quite easy: I give you a pair of statements, and you have to tell me which one applies to who more. First one: Morning person or night owl?
@berndthebread92: omg Roz is SO ME. Living with a morning person is THE WORST #ILoveHimTho #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff
@centaurs_on_skates81: Well asking who of them eats spicy food after this showing is just cheap #giveUsTheJuice #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff
@rozanov_scores: WAIT ARE YOU TELLING ME HOLLANDER HAS BEEN LEARNING RUSSIAN FOR ROZ #trueLove #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff
@kissager: Dog or Cat Person?? Have you guys seen the pics Roz posted on IG of them with Anya? #DogSupremacy #OttawaCentaurs #SpicyFaceOff @proberg21 replying to @kissager: Tell me holler doesnt strike u as a cat person tho @kissager replying to @proberg21: tbh these days holler strikes me mainly as a rozanov person #trueLove #coupleGoals
Video transcript of Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge Drover: Okay, sauce number 8 has gone on the wings - well, the wing, since Roz has fully given up now - so here's my final question: what's next? Rozanov: Cup. Hollander: [laughs] Yeah, that's the dream, of course. But more... concrete: hockey. I'm very much looking forward to training camp, which is starting in two weeks from the time we're filming this, and I'm excited to find my place with this team. I have a good feeling, you know? They already put up such a great showing last year that I'm looking forward to what we can accomplish together. Drover: That's always good to hear, and I'm not only saying that because I root for this team in my off-time, too. But what about your off-time? Rozanov: What off time? [all three laugh] Rozanov: No, we are continuing our work with the Irina Foundation, that we founded in memory of my mother; we had a great two weeks of camp this year and many... uh, interested people have reached out so maybe there will be three weeks next year. [chuckles]. It's been good, very good. Hollander: And we keep collecting retired players, or non-NHL stars, so maybe there'll be smaller things during the season. Yuna, my mother, has been doing outreach too, and she's very good at it. Rozanov: She is. Drover: Retired players or non-NHL stars is quite a humble way to say you're running one of the most diverse operations in hockey at the moment. How did this happen? Rozanov: Natural. [laughs] Hockey is small world, even beyod NHL, so we meet people, we talk; Hunter introduced us to some, some we met at his bar, the Kingfisher... some reached out to us... Hollander: It's been pretty wonderful, even before we... uh, before, y'know, we came out. Rozanov: Yeah, and talk got around that this camp is for everyone, that hockey is -- should be -- for everyone, and there's been good campaigns, like You Can Play, but we realised that we can say it's for everyone as much as we want but we also have to show, you know? So we start, pretty small, and then it grows. And we are friends with wonderful people; Ryan Price, who I played with in Boston for a season, Leah and Max who are great, great people. Drover: Max -- that's Max Riley -- has spoken about his complicated relationship with the sport since coming out, and how much the camps have helped him, too. Hollander: Yeah, that's -- the way the institutions have treated Max, that's been another wake- up call. We're glad that we're helping people like him, but that's not all, so we'll hopefully be focusing efforts on having this change not only happen in the kids and youth department, where our camp is aimed at, but effecting change for real. That's where my mom comes in, she's definitely a huge asset, working with these people. Rozanov: And my friend Svetlana - Svetlana Vetrova - she's also joining us, she is very smart, very gorgeous woman, and I am very excited what she and Yuna will get up to. Drover: Aren't we all, huh? Very exciting, as you said. Thank you so much for your candor, in this interview. Can we convince you to take one more bite, Roz? Rozanov: No. Hollander: It's not so bad. Drover: And Coach said he'll go easy on you if you've suffered enough. Rozanov: Are you real? [squints suspiciously.] You are lying. Tell me you are. [a brief pause] Fine. [Rozanov takes a drum stick, drizzles some of sauce five onto it, and takes a bite. His face flushes and his eyes water as he chews, before spitting the mouthful out again.] Rozanov: No. No. You -- you monster. I am dying. Shane, help, he killed me. Hollander: Wimp. [He takes the chicken wing out of Rozanov's hand and takes a pointed bite while Rozanov theatrically falls off his chair and to the floor, whimpering.] Drover: And they say love is dead... Hollander: I guess no one can say he hasn't suffered enough, huh? Drover: They certainly can't. Aaaand we're drawing to a close here in our challenge! [...]
Lily (September 9th, 12:02pm): y is this all over twitter y are u so mean [Picture ID: A still from Spicy Face-Off, tears streaming down Rozanov's face while Hollander looks smug and almost composed, if a little sweaty, the subtitles reading Wimp] love really is dead Me (September 9th, 12:03pm): You are. The sauces were not that bad. Wasabi is worse ngl. Lily (September 9th, 12:04pm): ngl??? u learned new shortening? Me (September 9th, 12:05pm): *abbreviation And you're lucky I love you. Spice tolerance or no. Lily (September 9th, 12:06pm): You do? Show me I am literally down the hall Me (September 9th, 12:07pm): So am I. You come here Lily (September 9th, 12:07pm): No you Me (September 9th, 12:07pm) No, you. Lily (September 9th, 12:08pm): what are we, 20? now come here I make it worth your time Me (September 9th, 12:08pm): You're terrible. Lily (September 9th, 12:08pm): You love me Me (September 9th, 12:08pm): yeahjjjjJn .
Chapter End Notes
Thank you for reading! I hope this was also fun :) there might (biiig might) a third part incoming about the requested BTS of Shane spicing up the team-provided pre-game food, but we'll have to see what the muses say. Lmk if that's something you'd be interested in reading!
Chapter 3
Chapter Notes
And here it is! I think thatβs the end of this for now β I have too many other ideas floating around in my brain β but this was a whole lot of fun to write. See the end of the chapter for more notes @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: What spicy things do @irozanov81 and Shane Hollander get up to before the game? Check out a glimpse behind the scenes with the newest episode of Breakaway: Catching Up With The #OttawaCentaurs [Embedded Video: The thumbnail shows Rozanov one one side, arms crossed as he napps on a couch in a Centaurs room and Rozanov at a table, food in front of him and grinning at someone off to the side.] @jamie_loves_hollanov replying to @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: not sure the spicy things they do before the games is appropriate for public consumption π #OttawaCentaurs @jamie_loves_hollanov replying to @jamie_loves_hollanov: OMG @irozanov81 YOU CAN'T JUST LIKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!! #killMeNow #didntEvenTagHim #wtf @irozanov81 replying to @jamie_loves_hollanov: I think I can )))) #noKillingOurFans #IseeEverything @jamie_loves_hollanov replying to @irozanov81: π³πππ @skellige_pirate replying to @jamie_loves_hollanov: ahahaha congrats i guess they call that jackpot huh :D [click to view 13 more replies] @hooves_and_skates replying to @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: you're spoiling us omg @hooves_and_skates replying to @hooves_and_skates: there's SO MANY moment I absolutely NEED TO GIF #howManyIsTooMany #GifItAll @username_goes_here replying to @hooves_and_skates: omg cheering u on we need it @irzoanov81 replying to @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: ((( did you not embarrass me enough? @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL replying to @irozanov81: We didn't do the embarrassing π #SpicyFaceOff @irzoanov81 replying to @Ottawa_Centaurs_NHL: ((((((( [click to view 80 more replies] wwww.tumblr.com/cens_fan_5ever/805077840803577856?source=share Breakaway: Catching Up With The Ottawa Centaurs Hollanov Edition Transcript OMG you guys they are keeping us fed I can't believe this. We have to be the luckiest fans in the league rn, right? Anyway, I loved the new glimpse at Roz and Holler and would take like 273478 more editions of just them (with a little more interaction y'know? I just LOVE what we've seen of how they interact with each other omg, never would have expected it from either even tho we all know Roz is the sweetest secretly). In the meantime, I sat down and transcribed it, which you can read under the cut... --------------- (read more) -------------- (378 notes) From: Harris Drover <hdrover@internal.ottawasenators.com> To: Shane Hollander <shollander@internal.ottawasenators.com>, Ilya Rozanov <irozanov@internal.ottawasenators.com> Subject: Breakaway Details Hey guys, thanks again for the meeting earlier! As we discussed, here's the info again so you can look into it at your leisure. The tl;dr: I usually follow players for one or two home games to get some footage of what they do. Mostly we do it at the arena, but some of the guys like to show off their house, so let me know what works for you. You'll have final say over whatever goes online, so no worries there! I think people will be excited about whatever we decide to post, they loved you guys on the Spicy Face-Off video π All the best, Harris [Attachment: SocMed Strategy Guide.pdf] [Attachment: Breakaway Ideas.pdf]
From: Shane Hollander <shollander@internal.ottawasenators.com> To: Harris Drover <hdrover@internal.ottawasenators.com>, Ilya Rozanov <irozanov@internal.ottawasenators.com> Subject: Re: Breakaway Details Hey Harris, sounds good! Please cc our agent (yuna.hollander@hollanderAgency.ca) when you send over the final version (or we can look at it after a home game ;) ). Ilya didn't want me to say it, but I think we could pick up the spice angle again. What I saw on Ilya's twitter, it looked like people thought that was funny. I don't want them in our house just now, but I know it's important to show we're just two normal players, so maybe we can clear something for the next team dinner at our place? We can go over it after practice later this week in person :) Thanks for all the effort! Shane & Ilya [The video opens to a shot of the Centaurs on the ice at their practice rink. It's a closed practice, so the stands are empty. The players are clustered around Coach Wiebe; whatever he's saying is inaudible.] Drover, off-camera: And here we see our herd of Centaurs in their natural habitat: the rink. Today's subjects -- number 81, Ilya Rozanov; our Captain and second in the League last year in Goals scored, and number 24, Shane Hollander, our big off-season acquisition. They've been running drills for the past hour, but don't take my word for it, because here they come. [Rozanov and Hollander have broken away from the group of players, skating over to the camera and leaning against the boards as they squirt water into their mouths.] Rozanov: Harris! You see beauty of a goal earlier? Did you catch it on camera? Hollander: It was an empty netter. Rozanov: It was gorgeous. Drover: I'm afraid I didn't. You'll have to show us later and I'm sure people will make gifs. But tell us -- how's your morning been so far? What's your routine on a game day at home? Rozanov: Wellll [he smirks, winks at the camera. Next to him, Hollander tenses and shoots him a look that may be panicked], this morning, we woke up as usual, had boring breakfast - egg white omelettes and protein shake [Rozanov grimaces while Hollander relaxes next to him] - and drove over to the rink -- Shane, tell 'em what you do on the drive! Hollander: [giving Rozanov an indulgent smile (Transciber's Note: really I do not think I've ever seen someone look at someone else like Holler does at Roz here plssss someone gif it)] Ilya quizzes me on Russian [ducks head] I'm currently struggling with the grammar. Rozanov: Yes! He is very good. Language genius. And now we are here, and -- I think Coach is calling for us, so catch you later! [Hollander and Rozanov skate back to the other players.] Drover: And there you have it -- we will catch them later!
24trips81scores reblogging @hollanov_truther (1h ago): hollanov_truther (1h ago): reading @cens_fan_5ever's transcript and -- tell me Holler wasn't UTTERLY TERRIFIED in that moment that Rozanov would tell the entire internet they'd fucked this morning ππ 24trips81scores (1h ago): "Ah yes we woke up this morning, then Shane fucked me from behind and sucked me off afterwards, and I made him omelettes" πππ #I can totally see it #god I bet they're so hot together #ROZ PLS TELL US THE INTERNET NEEDS TO KNOW!! #Ottawa Centaurs #Hollanov Shenanigans #Ilya Rozanov #Shane Hollander (35 notes)
Hayden Pike (today, 3:13pm): have to admit my life was flashing in front of my eyes when Roz started narrating your game day morning π Me (today, 3:15pm): I would never compromise my game day performance like that. Hayden Pike (today, 3:16pm): So you never went out in Boston and to see "Lily" and took your game day "nap" there
Hayden Pike (today, 3:24pm): yeah ok I don't know why I expected an answer to that anyway are you okay with that having stayed in? Me (today, 3:31pm): Believe it or not, but we had a grown-up conversation about whether or not we'd keep that in Hayden Pike (today, 3:32pm): I'm sure SOMETHING grew during that "conversation" ;) Me (today, 3:33pm): Is that really a path of thought you want to go down? Hayden Pike (today, 3:35pm): ... Did you have to word it like that omg you are one evil motherfucker Me (today, 3:36pm): You know it's not your mom I'm fucking. Hayden Pike (today, 3:37pm): SHANE!!! Okay, mercy. Mercy pls. I'll back to watching the rest of that clip now jfc if there's anything else scarring in there, I'm sending you the bill for my therpay jsyk
[The video continues to show the players filing off the ice, cutting to the locker room. Everyone is in their skintight sportswear except Rozanov, who's shirtless as always. His necklace with the orthodox cross and a ring -- not his wedding ring, that's on his hand, we don't yet know what that ring signifies -- flashes in the lockerroom lights. The room is silent except for Rozanov] Rozanov: So we're fucking awesome, and we'll go get them tonight! Yeah! [The players cheer. The camera pans around to show people breaking off into smaller groups as they undress. Hollander is sitting at his stall, two down from Rozano, and smiling at him with a seriously besotted expression] Rozanov, to Hollander: You hitting the bike? Hollander [subtitled in the episode bc boy was he hard to understand]: Yeah. You're on for a massage, yeah? Rozanov: Have to loosen those sweet pecs. [He flexes his pecs, making them jump. Hollander laughs like he doesn't mean to, shaking his head.] Hollander: Go. [the camera cuts to the team's lunch room, where Hollander is piling a plate with salmon, green vegetables, and rice.] Drover: So, what's going on? Hollander: Team lunch. We often eat together on game days like this -- especially on the road, but it's good for team spirit to do so at home. [He gives a small, almost sheepish smile] Which probably all the players you follow tell the audience, huh? Drover: Never assume everyone knows everything. Hollander: That's -- yeah. You're right. So yeah. Nutritionist approved lunch right here; grilled salmon, spinach, and some other greens I don't want to name or else Ilya'll stop eating them. Drover: Anything special about that? Hollander: Not really. Though I do have a secret ingredient. [He's reached the end of the buffet and made his way over to one of the tables, sitting down across from Hayes and Barrett. From his pocket, he pulls a small jar.] Barrett: Oh god no. Absolutely not. I refuse. I'm leaving. Hollander: [chuckles] No one is making you do anything. Rozanov, showing up from behind the camera: Yes, Barry, stop being such a baby. [He sits down next to Hollander, his plate mainly filled with fish and rice and a few alibi vegetables.] Barrett: I don't think you have a leg to stand on. Rozanov: [gets up and balances on one leg, then the other, then sits down again.] I have two legs and can stand on both. Boom. [the table laughs. In the distraction, Hollander slides part of his own vegetables onto Rozanov's plate, who sighs but just starts eating. Meanwhile, Hollander uses his knife to scoop up some red paste out and spread it on his salmon.] Rozanov: And I don't leave. Barrett: Neither am I. Even though Spicelander really lays it on thick. Hollander: For [bleep] sake. Second line for you tonight. Barrett, laughing: You can't do that. Rozanov: But I can. Coach! Ouch! Kicking me will not help! Hayes: Coach already left, he wanted to go over some tape with Haaser and Clipper. You're out of luck for now. Drover: Shane, talk us through what you're doing here. Rozanov: He's psyching out the competition. Hollander, exasperated: The competition can't see us right now. [To the camera] My mom set me up with her special secret sauce, which is my go to on game days -- helps me get in the right mindset for competition and focus on the here and now. And it peps up the food. [To Rozanov, pointed] It's not a superstition. [Rozanov scoffs] Rozanov: "Focus on the here and now", he says. What he means -- he burns away all other thoughts. Is very, very spicy. Hollander: I think he tried it once and didn't stop complaining ever since. Rozanov: Yuna is such a lovely woman! How was I supposed to know you get your evil from her! Barrett: Seriously, the sauce is -- it's lethal. And not in a fun way. Hollander: And that's why I'm topline center. Rozanov: [gasps dramatically] Barry, let's leave. [The table laughs and the audio fades out on it]
@centaurs_on_skates81: omgggg i just reached the lunch scene AND WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN @centaurs_on_skates81 replying to @centaurs_on_skates81: when they said SPICY of course it would be Holler being ABSOLUTELY INSANE @hooves_and_skates replying to @centaurs_on_skates81: ALSO RETURN OF THE SPICELANDER @username_goes_here replying to @hooves_and_skates: yes pls tell me that this is his regular nickname when he's insane like that omg I love this
@irozanov81: yes I can confirm #ShaneHollander put liquid fire on all his fish. #Isuffer
@OttawaSenators: We told you their preparations were spicy! Also, if you're interested in Mama Hollanders Secret Special Sauce, maybe we can talk to her next...? Let us know in the comments below! π½ #OttawaCentaurs #Hollanov #BreakwayBTS
[The video transitions to a voice-over from Hollander over a montage.] Hollander: After lunch we go home for our pregame naps and just some quiet time. I've recently started listening to audio books, there's some good stuff out there and it helps me clear my mind a little. [A clip of Hollander wearing shorts and a team jacket, pacing the hallway of the arena with headphones on.] Ilya sometimes calls his niece or chats with my mom -- those two have seriously hit it off, sometimes it's scary. [A clip of Rozanov on his phone plays, a smile on his face.] [The clip cuts to the players entering the arena in their game day suits, then again to a circle of them kicking a soccer ball around] Hollander: And the rest -- I think it's pretty normal stuff. We warm up again, play a little in the team to get our heads in the game, talk strategy one last time -- normal, you know? Drover: And after that? [The video cuts to Hollander, dressed in full gear, helmet under his arm. Over his shoulder, Rozanov is visible with his head bent close to Hayes, the two of them talking quietly] Hollander: We go out and give our best. [The video ends with a shot from a recent home game with Rozanov dekeing around the opposing defense, passing to Hollander, who buries a beauty. The announcer yells, "Rozanov to Hollander and Hollander scores! What a gorgeous goal to make it 3-1 Ottawa." A second voice, "What a dream pair those two make. What a treat for the Ottawa fans." The first voice: "What a treat for us all, to have them finally on a line. Are we witnessing the makings of a playoff contender here?". The video fades to black.]
Chapter End Notes
Was the clip two minutes? Probably not, but who knows :D It was a glimpse into the game day shenanigans (PG) of Hollanov at the Centaurs. Thank you for reading! π
End Notes
Had a bit that made you smile? Let me know and Iβll adore you forever π You can also find my on tumblr at xianvar, so come and say hi if you feel like it! The hugest of thank yous to Astrid, for the help wrt to books and canon in general, and mio and k for help with coming up with the worst nicknames imaginable (and general cheering on πππ ) All fan-names are made up; for the players, I consulted the wiki or made them up: Me - Ilya / @irozanov81 Jane π - Shane Bood - Zane Boodram Barry - Troy Barrett / @troybarry17 Dyke οΏ½ - Dykstra. Ilya chose the flag because of the name, not because of Dykstraβs sexuality Haaser - Luca Haase / @the_real_haase99 Kegs - Jeremy Kegel, American defenseman (OC) Smitty - James Smith, American forward (OC) Holmser - Holmber Hazy - Wyatt Hayes OCC - Ottawa Centaurs Chat (yes, very creative) Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!