Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories:

M/M, Multi

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Cassie Boodram/Zane Boodram, Troy Barrett/Harris Drover

Characters:

Ilya Rozanov, Zane Boodram, Nick Chouinard, Wyatt Hayes, Luca Haas, Evan Dykstra, Troy Barrett, Holmberg (Game Changers), Young (Game Changers), Boyle (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Texting Fic, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Supportive Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Player Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Group Chat (Game Changers), Protective Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs as Family (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Find Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Mentioned Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Texting, Humor

Language:

English

Series:

Part 3 of O-Town’s Fillies Back Again

Collections:

Anonymous, Anonymous

Stats:

Published: 2026-05-10 Words: 6,540 Chapters: 1/1

Fiat 500 Horse Boys.

Summary

Boyle
ooh i’m shaking
like your legs could even carry you to my place to punch me in the dick at this point

Nicky C
For real
Surely you must be on the floor after 2 straight days with Jane

Cap
Who the fuck do you think I am?
I could do a week straight with Jane and still kick your ass

3 months in the Ottawa Centaurs' group chat.

Notes

before we hit the wags again, i wanted to try my hand at the cens. these boys are a crazy menagerie, but wow i love them

if you're new here, i'd advise reading at least chapter 6 of Ilya R has been added to the group chat just so you've got the timeline. while it's non-canon, it roughly follows the plot of tlg - this takes place between the time that troy comes out to the cens & their first match with montreal post-fanmail vid! not compulsory, but i'd like to think you'll get more out of it <3

this is inspired by the hateful but tinged with love vibe of my hometown group chat

have fun, and please feed the beast that is my ego with comments if you feel so inclined

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Thursday February 11^th, 2.43pm

Holmberg has changed the group chat name.

Troy

@Holmberg we really do not need to keep adding the rainbow

Holmberg

just showing pride!! being supportive!!

Troy

Can you be reverse hate crimed

Nicky C

Idk if we can answer that bro 🤔

Boyle

love crimed?

Haasy

That would never hold up in court

Evan D

The floor is yours on this one, TB

Article I read said you gotta amplify marginalized voices

📢Boyle

Troy

Amplify this:

Your mom

Holmberg has changed the group chat name.

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒

Bood

why am i clocking in to see us REMOVING rainbows from names, boys

this is not the vibe!

Troy

Oh my god

Young

who is being homerphobi

Evan D

Oof

Tough read

Boyle

@Young you’ll get em next time, champ

Cap

I like the rainbow! 🌈

Stop being homophobic, Barrett

🙄Troy

@Young, this is the spelling

Young

thank

Nicky C

Christ

Not it for a wellness check on Young

Evan D

Not it

Troy

Not it

Haasy

Not it 🏃

Boyle

absolutely not it

Holmberg

i’m with him

he’s typing one-handed while he eats a pickle and nutella sandwich??

Cap

A fucking what

💯Haasy

Evan D

Ok we might actually need a wellness check on that one

Troy

@Young talk us through that real quick

Young

its nice !

🤢Evan D, Bood

Bood

actioning concussion protocol

bergy, take his phone

Evan D

Arguably for the best

Holmberg

he’s upset because he thought cap would be on his side on this one

Cap

Anti-Slavic to suggest that liking pickled food means that I would eat a crime against god 🤢

Holmberg

that’s what i said!!

Cap

That is why you are my favourite today

Haasy

Rude

Boyle

@Holmberg kissass

Nicky C

I reckon I’d try that sandwich

Evan D

And no one was shocked

Troy

That is not the praise you think it is @Nicky C

Boyle

you’d eat a bus tyre if it had sriracha on it

🚌Holmberg

Nicky C

Well fuck me I guess

Troy

No thanks

😂Holmberg, Young

Evan D

LMAOOOOO

A DEVASTATING BLOW

Haasy

Tragic 😭

Boyle

sad!

Nicky C

@Troy how can I crime you for this in a way that isn’t a hate crime

👀Troy

Hazy

What the fuck have I missed

Also where did the rainbow go?? I liked it

👍Cap

Holmberg has changed the group chat name.

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Troy

Fucks sake

You know what

Whatever 🌈

🦄Cap, Bood

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Sunday February 14^th, 9.45am

Bood

happy vday boys!

Holmberg

think of me while you get some today!!

Hazy

What the entire fucking hell

😳Evan D

Boyle

i have a reverse boner

a noner

😆Young

Troy

Jesus Christ

Holmberg

too much??

Young

yep

Haasy

Absolutely too much

Your singleness is embarrassing

Nicky C

Will do, kiddo @Holmberg

💪🏻 Holmberg

Troy

Why is this team so weird

Evan D

I’m sorry @Nicky C

Are you really telling us that you’ll be about to lay with your beautiful Selena and then Holmberg’s ugly ass pops into your head

And you’re fine with that???

Nicky C

Ew

Retracted

Bood

if ever i think of you while mid-deed with cass i’m killing myself

Cap

My god

Such drama queens on this chat

What is happening?

Boyle

he speaks!

Troy

Jesus, you’re alive then

🙏Nicky C

Evan D

We assumed you were in some kind of sex coma

Boyle

dick death

Cap

Worry about your own dicks 🥊

Troy

Well that’s us told

Boyle

ooh i’m shaking

🤭Evan D

like your legs could even carry you to my place to punch me in the dick at this point

Nicky C

For real

Surely you must be on the floor after 2 straight days with Jane

Cap

Who the fuck do you think I am?

I could do a week straight with Jane and still kick your ass

Young

stop winding him up !

Evan D

Stop being a baby

Hazy

I’m with Young

If you want 3 straight practises of bag skates, be my guest

Cap

Hazy and Young get it

No bag skates for them!

Bood

hey!

Cap

Or Boody😘

Bood

nice 😏

Cap

The rest of you can die on Tuesday

😩Boyle, Evan D, Holmberg

Holmberg

i didn’t even say anything mean????

Cap

You want me to think of you while I fuck my Jane

Unacceptable

💯Haasy, Evan D, Troy

Holmberg

ffs

Boyle

you really brought that on yourself bro

Haasy

Talk shit get hit fr

Cap

Anyway

Bye bye!👋🏻

Evan D

Oh my god dude, get off of her

😂Boyle, Nicky C, Young

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Friday February 19^th, 6.32pm

Evan D

Hear ye, hear ye

Boyle

what

Evan D

I would like us all to agree that on our next roadie

@Nicky C is hereby banned from the aux cord

Hazy

Absolutely seconded

💯Boyle

Haasy

Please

Young

pls

Holmberg

please!!!

Nicky C

Hey!

My music taste is not that bad

Bood

👀

@Evan D, you have my support

Nicky C

What the fuck bro

Cap

Sorry Nicky, agreed

Holmberg

you’re a good man, cap

😘Cap

Nicky C

This is actually so fucked

Hazy

So are your choices whenever you get control of the music

😂Bood

Bood

poll for who gets control next

🔘 bergy

🔘 hazy

🔘 evan

🔘 me

🔘 haasy

🔘 cap

🔘 young

🔘 boyle

🔘 troy

Evan D

Whoever votes @Holmberg, you don’t value your ears enough

Holmberg

stop rigging the election!!!

Boyle

a vote for me is a vote for a fair and just mayor who will pretend to listen to your requests before absolutely not playing them

Troy

I don’t want this heat, take me out of it

Nicky C

Everyone vote @Troy to annoy him

👍Young, Evan D

Cap

No votes for Haasy either!

I love you, my son ❤️

But I cannot keep listening to EDM

Young

ok grandpa

👴Holmberg

Cap

Careful

Haasy

It’s hype music!

Boyle

all it hypes me up to do is commit a felony

Haasy

You and Nic would do that anyway

Nicky C

Good point

Young

so fair

Boyle

in my defense, she’d 100% be the brains of the operation

Troy

That much is obvious

🔥Bood, Evan D, Young

Boyle

don't be a cow

withdrawing my application, everyone vote @Troy as punishment

Bood

poll for who gets control next

🔘 bergy

🔘 hazy

🔘 evan

🔘 me

🔘 haasy

🔘 cap

🔘 young

🔘 boyle

🔘 troy (9 votes)

we have a unanimous winner!

👏Boyle, Cap, Evan D, Young, Holmberg, Haasy, Hazy, Nicky C

Boyle

everyone feel free to send troy very detailed song requests at whatever time of the day they like!

Troy

Fuck my life

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Wednesday February 22^nd, 3.45pm

Bood

listen up 5s

a 10 is speaking

Evan D

Feels rude but ok

Bood

listen up 5s and one 7

a 10 is speaking

Evan D

I’ll take it

Cap

That 5 excludes me, obviously

Bood

listen up 5s, one 7 and a fellow 10

😘Cap

a 10 is speaking

Young

feel like 5 is a bit stingy

Boyle

nah you’re a 5 sweetie

you can’t grow a beard yet

Young

yh i can !

Haasy

As someone who can also not grow a beard

You can’t

Young

its a bit patchy but like

its still a beard ?

Hazy

Afraid not kiddo

Bood

oh my god shut up all of you!!

do you want to know what is on the bbq menu or not!!

Nicky C

Everyone shut up

Evan D

Look who logged on

😂Young, Holmberg, Hazy

Bood

@Nicky C i hope you know you’re bringing a fuckload of sel’s potato salad to make up for how many kebabs i know you’re going to eat

Nicky C

Already sucking up to her as we speak

Bood

good man

Evan D

Lay it on us, Boodacious

😏Bood

Bood

so we’ve got the usual steaks, pork chops, chicken skewers

veggie burgers for all those wanting

but i’ve been trialling a new short rib recipe

and lamb koftas

and they’re ready to be added to rotation

🙏Holmberg, Young, Haasy

Cap

They are beautiful

The koftas changed my life

Bood

thanks darling

❤️Cap

Boyle

@Bood, you glorious shitbag

i’m drooling

Bood

need you all to pipe up with what you’re bringing so me & cass know what’s left to buy

Haasy

The babies will take the dessert station

👌Holmberg, Young

Boyle

you can add one of nic’s cheesecakes to that

and i’ll do pasta salad

Cap

@Boyle PLEASE ask Nicole to do lemon curd cheesecake! 🙏

👍Boyle

Will bring good beer and better vodka

Haasy

@Cap Young has a request

Cap

Yes?

Young

that feta & watermelon salad u said u made jane

sounded amazing

Cap

😏😏😏

Hmm, I will think about it

Evan D

@Young Is this you trying to be a grown up because we said you didn’t have a beard

😂Holmberg, Boyle

Young

no !

well yh

but a growing boy can’t eat pizza forever can he

Boyle

very mature

proud of you, bubs

Evan D

Cait & I will take WAGs wine

Hazy

Damnit

Evan D

Snooze you lose, bitch

Hazy

Fine

Lisa’s working so it’s just me coming @Bood

I’ll go crazy on the chips & dips

👍Bood

Bood

cass mentioned

that new consultant sounds like a piece of work

Hazy

No seriously

Lisa HATES her

Boyle

jesus, she’s gotta do a lot for lisa to hate her

Cap

The woman is an angel

Hazy

I’ll fill you in on Friday

🍿Holmberg, Young

But it involves a very heated debate over X-ray results

Bood

oh damn

@Troy stop lurking

what are you bringing

Troy

Sorry sorry

Just checking if H can make it

Cool, he’s in

We’ll do cider

Nicky C

BOOOOOOO

Stop stealing your man’s shit

💯Evan D

Boyle

man you should at least be paying for it at this point

Troy

By all means

You try giving Harris’ mom a cent

See how that goes

Cap

He is right

She will not take anything

She has looked after Anya a few times for me during the day

Will not even let me pay for the dog food 🙃

Haasy

God bless Drover Farm

🙏Bood, Evan D, Boyle, Holmberg

Bood

okay, you can do cider again

but i want some creativity next time, barrett

Troy

Ugh, fine

I can’t cook for shit, warning you in advance

Holmberg

yeah but you’ve got a fucking wallet though don’t you???

Young

lmaoooooooo

Troy

@Holmberg children should be seen and not heard

Holmberg

fight me, gramps

Troy

It’s fucking on

Bood

now i know you don’t intend to fight at my bbq

because that would be rude

WOULDN’T IT

Cap

No fighting at Boody’s BBQ!!

I will turn this car around

Smack each other with a hockey stick at practise tomorrow

Two hits each and then you are done

Holmberg

i’ll only need 1

😂Hazy, Haasy

Boyle

oh baby no

Hazy

Someone clearly didn’t watch the game tape before Barrett signed

😬Bood

Nicky C

You’re getting your ass handed to you, Bergy

Evan D

Damn, and I was just starting to like you

😂Cap, Young

Holmberg

wait what

@Evan D just starting?????

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Thursday February 23^rd, 11.57am

Cap

@Holmberg Ice your jaw

Evan D

That was actually so tragic to watch

Nicky C

I felt like I was watching a nature doc about apex predators

Boyle

young’uns, take note

✏️Haasy, Young

barrett’s got his bone density pills and he’s not afraid to use them

Haasy

Maybe see if you can get even one hit in next time @Holmberg

😂Evan D

Holmberg

what the fuck dude @Troy

Troy

Sorry

Bood

pre-bbq truce

both of you shake on it

🤝Troy, Holmberg

Cap

I do not like it when my children fight

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Wednesday March 2^nd, 7.01am

Cap

On the bus by 9!

👍Bood, Evan D, Boyle, Nicky C, Haasy, Young, Hazy, Holmberg, Troy

Boyle

hope everyone is ready for @Troy’s megamix!

Troy

Fuck you

Can someone bring an aux cord

Young

nah

tell me we did not give aux rights to a man w no aux cord

😭

Haasy

This is about to be fucking bleak

Troy

You brought this on yourselves

Nicky C

My music isn’t looking so bad now huh??

Evan D

👀👀

Boyle

wouldn’t go that far

😂Holmberg, Haasy, Hazy, Young

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Sunday March 7^th, 9.57pm

Nicky C

Non-single men in the chat

Need some advice

Boyle

waddup

Bood

shoot

Cap

Hello?

Evan D

Heyooooo

Hazy

I’m here

Troy

Here

Nicky C

So Sel and my mom had a fight

Like, a bad one

Evan D

Ah fuck

Bad how?

Nicky C

Mom’s been difficult since Christmas

Don’t know if the WAGs mentioned it to any of you, but Sel & Mom had a bit of a bustup at the fake Thanksgiving we did across the border last year

Cap

Jane mentioned something

Bood

yeah, cass mentioned too

Evan D

@Troy for ref, Nick’s parents and sister can be difficult

(Sorry Nicky)

Nicky C

Nah, it’s fair

They can be

Troy

Got it

So something happened at Thanksgiving?

Nicky C

Well, just before

Laurene made a few comments about the support I got from my parents back in the day the last time we all met up

Sel called her out because she’s amazing, but that’s just not the style of my fam

Bood

we’ve told you though, brother

laurene’s got a real bug on this one

Nicky C

I know

And in truth she was super outta line then

But then it got weird and for Thanksgiving, Laurene made a group chat for the family and didn’t put Selena in it

Boyle

that’s fucked

Cap

What the fuck, Nicky

Nicky C

I know, I know

I brought it up in private with my mom

But of course she had a couple of gin and tonics in her so it didn’t stay private for long

And she ended up confronting Sel a bit

Hazy

Confronted like how?

Nicky C

Sel did a great job tbf, Mom tried to literally talk about it around the table

Bood

shit

Nicky C

But Sel got her into the kitchen so they could talk it through

Boyle

why was laurene not involved man

not to be a dick because it’s your sister

but kinda sounds like this is her fault

Nicky C

She’s Mom’s baby

Not that she would ever recognize it

Cap

What happened at Christmas?

I thought you were with Selena’s family, yes?

Nicky C

Yeah

We spent it with Sel’s family, because we did it with mine the year before

But Mom sort of insinuated we were there because Sel was an issue

Bood

what the fuck

Nicky C

I know

Obviously I shut her the fuck down immediately

Hazy

But let me guess

Your sister?

Nicky C

Bingo

I handled it then, and it all kinda went quiet after I talked to Mom

But then since the plane it’s been like they’ve really lasered in on her

Boyle

so i’m guessing your mom said something awful about it

Bood

that’s fucked if she did

Nicky C

I don’t think she meant it to sound like it did

Cap

Nick

Nicky C

Fuck I know

@Troy for ref, they live a while away

But at the end of Jan, Mom basically called me really late one Friday and asked me why Selena was keeping me from going back

Boyle

dude

Nicky C

Exact words were “your wife isn’t the only one who should know you’re alive”

Evan D

Fucking hell

Sorry but that’s fucked, Nick

Nicky C

I know

And Sel isn’t one to take that shit lying down

So obviously they got into it

Bood

do we even want to know how that ended

Nicky C

It got bad

I’ve never yelled at my mom before that

Cap

What did you say?

Nicky C

Called her out on that, of course

She found out after it all happened, she wasn’t there for the whole thing like Sel was etc

But then her and Laurene were really going off on Sel for not telling them there and then

Boyle

sorry but

not telling them what?

hey sorry, i don’t know if my husband is alive right now?

Nicky C

No I know

And I don’t agree with them

But her and Sel really got into it

So

I was supposed to be doing a birthday thing with them all next weekend

Hazy

But you don’t know if you want to now?

Nicky C

It’s not that I don’t want to see them

Cap

You do not need to lie to us

Nicky C

Fuck

I really don’t

Is that awful?

Bood

no, man

it’s not awful

they insulted your wife

Boyle

not awful at all

Nicky C

Not one of them has tried to apologize

And god knows Sel shouldn’t have to

Troy

It sounds like Selena has nothing to apologize for

Nicky C

She doesn’t

They’ve just been making this so hard

To the point where I’m like

Why am I bothering?

Boyle

because they’re your family, and you’re always gonna try

doesn’t mean it’s the always the right move though

Bood

your mom needs to apologize, nick

Evan D

And your sister, by the sounds of it

Cap

Agreed

Hazy

Agreed

Nicky C

But it’s just gonna become another bust-up

I know it

Evan D

So your choice is do you make Selena’s life worse

Or deal with the fallout

Nicky C

Basically

Troy

Can I be blunt?

Nicky C

Go for it

Troy

It sounds like a decision you’ve already made

You don’t want Selena to have to deal with this more than she already has

So maybe you just deal with the bust-up

Nicky C

I literally just want to spend it with her

I don’t want all this bullshit

Bood

we nearly died, brother

if you want to spend it with your wife, do that

Nicky C

But it’s my family

It’s my mom

Cap

Does not mean it is perfect

If they are not willing to try

Why should you?

Nicky C

Sorry Roz, didn’t even think man

Boyle

he’s right though

Cap

You do not need to apologize

I understand fucked families

Nicky C

Yeah

Ugh fuck

Evan D

Just go away for the night with Sel, dude

Not trying to be an ass

But fuck your mom and sister on this one

Cap

You are now optional for next Sunday’s skate

I will be pissed if you show up

Bood

co-signed

Nicky C

I appreciate it

Christ, if my in-laws were half as much work Sel and I would be AWOL by now

Hazy

Selena’s mom came to the team cookout last year, right?

Nicky C

Yeah, she’s great

Bood

she seems it

Evan D

You realize that @Cap’s in-laws are the only ones we haven’t met now? 👀

Boyle

oooooooooooh

Hazy

C’mon Roz, when we are getting them oveeeeerrrr?

Cap

They are not my in-laws yet!

Nicky C

I see that ‘yet’

Troy

We all see that ‘yet’

Cap

Go away and stop being sneaky

Boyle

king of not being bashful is being bashful

interesting

Cap

Russians do not do this

Evan D

Sure

Cap

@Nicky C Go away with Selena for your birthday

She is most important

Nicky C

Fuck it, why not

On it 🫡

Thanks, boys

Bood

anytime, brother

❤️Hazy, Boyle, Cap, Evan D, Troy

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Tuesday March 16^th, 8.32pm

Young

help

Holmberg

x2

Cap

Hot shower, now

Hot as you can stand

Evan D

Welcome to the big leagues, kiddos

You never stop aching

Boyle

my back’s been thrown out since 2017

Troy

You’re gonna want to get an epsom salt dealer

ASAP

Bood

seconded

best investment you’ll ever make

Holmberg

i am so young

why do i feel like this

Nicky C

Because you got put through the wall by a man who had 6 inches on you

It happens

Haasy

I can barely pick up my mug

Troy

Toronto don’t fuck around

I’d know

Boyle

they did go absolutely crazy, in fairness

Troy

That’s probably on me, sorry

Evan D

Hell no

An attack on a brother is an attack on us all

Cap

They played like pissed off children

You all played fantastically

I am very proud of you all

Nicky C

@Hazy that save in the second period was mythmaking

Hazy

Thanks bub

I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck

Cap

No one in the bar tonight

👍Bood, Boyle, Hazy, Evan D, Holmberg, Young, Troy, Haasy

We have three more games and then you get a few days off

Bood

fr

anyone doing anything nice next weekend?

Young

going to visit my mom

Holmberg

going to visit young’s mom

😂Boyle, Haasy

Young

fuck off man

Troy

Think I’m gonna take H away

Evan D

OOOOOOOOHHHHHH

Nicky C

Hell yeah Barrett!!!!

Boyle

treat our boy well

💯Haasy, Evan D, Nicky C, Cap

Troy

Always do

❤️Bood, Nicky C

Young

u doing anything @Cap ?

Hazy

Do we have another Jane visit on the cards? 👀

Cap

Yes, spending the weekend with Jane

And her annoying friends

Well, one annoying friend and his lovely wife

Evan D

Gotta be quiet then…

Cap

That is a hard ask for Jane 😏

Boyle

let’s fucking goooooo

Bood

get someee!

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Friday March 23^rd, 7.01pm

Holmberg

yo what the fuck is going down on twitter???

Bood, Holmberg, Troy + 5 more

Friday March 23^rd, 7.09pm

Bood

there is a video of roz on twitter

none of you are watching it

i am fucking serious

i need a heard from every single one of you right now

👂Troy, Young, Boyle, Evan D, Nicky C, Hazy

Holmberg

i saw it

i’m sorry!!!!

it literally opened when i went on

Bood

did you get the whole way through?

Holmberg

no like half

then i clicked off because it felt awful

Bood

good

don’t click on it again

Hazy

Bood, what the fuck is going on?

Evan D

ESPN is going crazy

Nicky C

I’ve got people texting me and I don’t even know what they’re texting about

Holmberg

fuck

Bood

bergy

Holmberg

shit yes okay!!

heard but fuck

Troy

I just saw SportsNet breaking news

Tell me I’m not reading what I think I’m reading

Bood

i need you all at the rink for 9am tomorrow

to talk this out

Holmberg

have you spoken to cap??

Bood

not yet

he’s got bigger shit going on right now

Troy

Fucking hell

Should I message him?

Boyle

what the fuck is going on

Evan D

Fuck @Troy I just saw the article

NOT THE VIDEO

Just the article

But oh my god

Bood

this is not our business

it’s no one’s business

Holmberg

bood

it’s everywhere

Bood

fuck

Haasy

Seriously, what the fuck is happening?

Young

whats going on ?

Nicky C

Bood you need to give us something man

We don’t know what we’re dealing with here

Troy

Nick, seriously

This is not anyone’s business

Hazy

Is Cap okay?

Troy

Probably not right now

Fuck

Bood

some shit has leaked about roz’s private life

Young

fuck is it jane ?

Evan D

Fuck

It is, isn’t it

That’s Jane

Holmberg

holy fucking shit

Troy

Of course it is

Jane

I’m so fucking stupid

Bood

boys

we don’t message him right now

nothing to him, nothing to anyone else

if your partners don’t already know, you keep quiet

we talk this out in person tomorrow

Troy

@Bood you need to make sure he’s okay

This is going to be hell for them

Bood

i’m trying

Hazy

I really need you to give me something

Evan D

Wyatt, seriously

Not right now

I shouldn’t have read that article

Everyone get offline right now and we talk tomorrow

Bood

what he said

9am tomorrow

Young

fuck

i havent checked i promise but i can see whats trending

fucking hell

Nicky C

Everyone off, now

Listen to Bood

Troy

@Bood you really need to check he’s okay man

Bood

@Troy i’m fucking trying

Bood, Holmberg, Troy + 5 more

Saturday March 24^th, 2.15pm

Holmberg

@Young what’s your count???

Young

im up to 25 accounts now

keep having to make new emails

Haasy

I’m on it too

Reporting this fucker until he’s in jail

Evan D

@Bood Have you heard from him yet?

Bood

not yet

but he’s reading them now at least

@Troy anything?

Troy

No

Nothing yet

Bood

ok

let’s leave it for now and i’ll try him later

Hazy

Fucking hell

Do we have anyone at Montreal so we can check on Hollander?

Nicky C

Pike better be fucking glad I don’t have his number

Boyle

i don’t think it was intentional

Nicky C

Don’t give a fuck

Troy

There’s a couple of people on Toronto who were rookies at Montreal

But it’ll look too suspicious if I start asking now

Bood

leave it

wait for cap to message me

we do nothing until we hear from him

Troy

I don’t think I need to tell you guys

But this is fucking hell

Like this is literally what I was afraid of the entire time

Boyle

fuck

Evan D

We really need to have his back on this, okay

Bood

not just his

Evan D

Right

And Hollander

We are going to need to step the fuck up

👍Boyle, Bood, Hazy, Nicky C, Young, Holmberg, Haasy, Troy

Boyle

people are going to be fucking awful about this

Nicky C

I want it on record that I’m not doing shit without Roz

I don’t give a fuck what the fallout is

Haasy

Agreed

I’m on my ass until I know what’s going on

Evan D

Agreed

👍Bood, Hazy, Young, Troy, Holmberg, Boyle

Troy

Montreal won’t be good about this

Nicky C

So we fucking see their asses into the afterlife when we’re on ice

Holmberg

@Bood can you tell us when you speak to cap??

Young

pls

Bood

will do

Bood, Holmberg, Troy + 5 more

Sunday March 25^th, 6.59am

Bood

heard from him yesterday eve

they’re fucked up, obviously

but they’re safe

Nicky C

Both of them?

Bood

yes, both

hollander’s having a difficult one by the sounds of it

Evan D

Fuckkkkk me

Bood

boys with wags, did you speak to them?

Boyle

yup

Evan D

Yeah

Nicky C

Yeah

Sel knew

Bood

they all figured it out, by the sounds of it

Hazy

Further proof that our wives are smarter than us

💯Boyle, Evan D

Young

the wags knew ?

Hazy

Since January, apparently

Bood

cassie rang shane after the plane

she couldn’t get through to “jane” on text and freaked out

Troy

Fuck

Harris wants to know if he can do anything to help

Bood

not right now, i don’t think

but tell him thank you

❤️Troy

Holmberg

good news is our reporting worked

brad’s account is gone

Boyle

beautifully done, babies

Hazy

Well done, kiddos

Haasy

Shane Hollander

Holy shit

Evan D

Omg I forgot about your love affair with him

Haasy

Shut up!

Nicky C

Holy shiiiiit you went on about him so much 😂

Troy

Wait

What did I miss?

Boyle

luca is obsessed with hollander lmao

Haasy

NO I’M NOT

He’s just got an insane career okay

Bood

you’re not wrong

Evan D

Never repeating this outside of this chat

But numbers-wise, he’s beating Roz

Nicky C

The man is a beast

Troy

Oh my god

Oh fuck

Holmberg

what???

Troy

Never mind

Bood

barrett, now is not the time for secrecy

Troy

Fuck this makes so much sense

Oh I’m a dead man

Hazy

BRO

Evan D

What????

Troy

Okay so

I may have told Cap before you all about me being gay

Hazy

Right

Parking that

Troy

And talked to him about how I’d heard rumours about Hollander

With the foundation and stuff I knew they were friends

Boyle

oh no

no troy you didn’t

please tell me you didn’t

Troy

I think I did

Holmberg

what????

Troy

I may have asked Roz if I could have Hollander’s number

Nicky C

OH MY GOD

Boyle

oh god

Evan D

Troy bro, I love you

But I hope you understand that for posterity’s sake

I cannot attend your funeral

Troy

😭😭

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Wednesday March 28^th, 10.12am

Cap

Okay

Who is going to be weird first

Boyle

horrifying start bro

Evan D

Truly

Nicky C

Sounds like you’re the one being weird, bub

Cap

You will have to give me a pass

Been a shit week

Hazy

We’ll allow it

How are you doing?

Cap

Have been better

Relationship and sexuality outed to the world and all that

Boyle

objectively speaking, people have had better weeks

Young

cap !

u ok ?

Haasy

Hey, Cap

Holmberg

ayooo captain!!!!

Cap

Hello, babies

Bood

the floor is yours, rozy

Cap

I will be quick, a few things to tell you properly

First of all, sorry

Evan D

Absolutely the fuck not

Hazy

Yeah, hard veto on apologies from you

Nicky C

That apology has been declared offside

Disallowed

👎Haasy, Holmberg, Young

Cap

HA

Fine

Other things then:

1. I am bisexual

2. I am engaged to Shane Hollander

3. We do not hate each other, obviously

4. I have been benched by league until they can apparently prove we have not been throwing games for a decade

Haasy

Throwing games?

Sorry are they actually fucking mad

Young

what the fuck ?

Boyle

your competitiveness being decided by people who have never watched you play charades

Evan D

For real

2 minutes in a room with you and that theory is kaput

Haasy

I was scared for my life on movie round

Troy

@Bood, you’ll need to tell Wiebe to cancel the Detroit game on Saturday

Bood

already done

Cap

No

You need to play

Holmberg

cap i respect the fuck out of you

and frankly you scare me

but fuck off with that!!

Bood

i told you man, they agreed it

Cap

Fuck

Troy

Why would you expect any less from us, man

There’s a fucking rainbow in the group chat name

❤️Hazy, Boyle, Holmberg, Young

Evan D

What he said

Hazy

I’m sorry

Are you all fucking dumb???

ENGAGED???

Nicky C

WAIT

Boyle

holy shit

Evan D

Dude????

Cap

Surprise!

But also long time coming

Difficult timeline

Will try and explain it another time

Boyle

congrats brother!

Young

congruation !

Evan D

Yikes

Nicky C

Bro how are you not going to spell check right now

Holmberg

man even i can’t defend this one 😭

Haasy

😭😭😭

Young

fuck

Bood

maybe it’s the wrong time

but i am fucking crying at that

Hazy

On the floor omg

Young

i was typing fast sorry !

congrulations !

Evan D

BRO

WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE NOW

Troy

Oh my god

Boyle

tears in my eyes

Haasy

Nah I can’t

Cap

Jesus fucking Christ

You are all fucking idiots

But you are my idiots

❤️Bood, Hazy, Haasy, Young, Evan D, Nicky C, Holmberg, Troy, Boyle

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Friday March 31^st, 8.12am

Bood

detroit match is off, boys

Evan D

Good

Couldn’t be bothered to waste the energy

😂Hazy, Boyle

Cap

They are not letting me talk to anyone

How is Wiebe?

Hazy

On your side, man

Pissed as fuck at the league

Young

he’s got scary eyes

Nicky C

Yeah, he literally looks like he needs a rabies shot

Boyle

well nic wants me to replaster the hallway so a quiet weekend is in order

wait we never asked

@Troy how was your weekend away?

Troy

We postponed it to this weekend

Cap

Why?

Troy

Hmm, let me think

Cap

Ahh

Sorry

Evan D

What did we say, Roz?

Cap

Jesus Christ, okay

Sorry for saying sorry

Troy

I’m looking forward to it!

We haven’t been away before

Holmberg

uh oh!! big moves!!

Boyle

it’s not sleepaway camp, @Holmberg

Holmberg

fuck off i’ve had girlfriends!!! 😭

Nicky C

Girls you kissed at the school disco don’t count

Holmberg

just because i’m not holding hands like the old couple on the titanic like troy is

Troy

Watch your ass

Haasy

👀👀👀

Cap

Boys

Your father is having difficult week

Please do not make it worse

Holmberg

sorry dad

Troy

He started it

Boyle

@Cap is hollander ready to assume step-custody of a team of morons

Cap

I will have to prepare him for it

Maybe we do some supervised meetings

Bood

well i can think of a great place to meet him

♨️Boyle, Hazy, Evan D

Cap

Hopefully soon

Currently trying not let the league beat us to death

Lose our careers

You know how it is

Hazy

Sorry man

Whenever you’re both ready

❤️Haasy, Young, Evan D, Nicky C

Cap

He wants to meet you

He has read the chats and is very grateful I have you

And he loves the girls

Is just a lot

Haasy

How’s the passport coming?

Cap

Trying not to think about it

Hoping we will be married before they notice

And then I will have spousal citizenship

Well that is what Shane’s mama tells me

Evan D

Omg

What’s his mom like??

Cap

Jesus

Give her an afternoon and a spreadsheet

And Yuna Hollander could rule the world

Nicky C

She sounds awesome

Get them to the next team cookout

Troy

They might actually be the in-laws by then

🥰Holmberg, Young

Cap

We shall see 🙈

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Wednesday April 6^th, 5.56pm

Bood

boys

our captain has some news

Holmberg

????

Evan D

What??

Nicky C

Nah you can’t drop that and go stealth

Cap

Boody, my beautiful boy

After you

Bood

hey google, play the intro to without me by eminem 🕺

Young

two trailer park girls go round the outside ?

Troy

You’re a moron

Nicky C

GUESS WHO’S BACK

BACK AGAIN

Boyle

oh fuck

Evan D

Is is true???

Cap

We are back in action

Guess what?

Me and my Shane would rather die than throw a game

Hazy

News to no one

Haasy

Again, no one has watched you do charades

Nicky C

And just in time for the Montreal game!

Evan D

Super convenient 😏

Young

lets fucking go

Boyle

how are they being?

Cap

Shit

Holmberg

cool so we need to kill them

🪦Nicky C

Cap

Touch Shane and you are dead

Evan D

Man what the fuck are you talking about

Boyle

this team is stupid

but not that stupid

Nicky C

Hollander’s our boy by proxy now dude

❤️Cap

We’re out for blood on the other losers

Bood

we’re working on a target list

Haasy

Just let us know when we have our hits

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Saturday April 16^th, 5.43pm

Boyle

yo @Bood and @Cap

what's the latest on the montreal kill list

Bood

working on it

Evan D

We need to start studying for weak spots

Hazy

Time for these little fuckers to die

(With obvious exceptions)

Young

really hope laine's on there

hate that guy

Evan D

I know Drapeau will be, and I'm calling dibs

Cap

[voice note attached, 0:38s]

This cannot get back to Shane ever

Leave Pike and Boiziau out of it

Actually, get Boiziau a couple of times

For appearances, you know

Boyle

what the fuck is going on in montreal

how are this many of them this bad to him

Cap

I cannot talk about it

Too angry

Troy

They're dead men walking

👍Haasy, Young

Bood

@Evan D and @Young you've got your marks

divvy the rest up boys

Hazy

I am going to have a LOT of fun with Comeau

Holmberg

with haasy right now

we're gonna be backups across the board

Troy

I'll get in on that

👍Nicky C

Boyle

i know enough vile french to have a good crack at renaud

Bood

he's a big dude, boyle

Boyle

who cares

i could do with a trip to the dentist

Bood

goes without saying but

roz, you're playing the cleanest game you can

Cap

Ugh, ruin my fun

😂Evan D, Boyle, Young, Troy

Bood

plausible deniability, baby

matter of fact, close this chat down for the day

Evan D

Good shout, get outta here

Boyle

au revoir!

just practising

😂Holmberg

Cap

Thank you, boys

Seriously

Nicky C

Fuck off with that shit

We've got you, brother

❤️Troy, Evan D, Bood, Young, Holmberg, Haasy, Hazy, Boyle

Fiat 500 Horse Boys 🐎🏒🌈

Wednesday April 20^th, 9.42pm

Evan D

That’s what I am fucking

TALKING

ABOUT

Boyle

crazy how i didn’t even know montreal was a city that existed

Haasy

Literally never heard of it

Nicky C

@Cap is Shane ok? That fall in the third looked nasty

Cap

He is fine

Just caught his skate

Beautiful game, darlings

Bood

drapeau’s jaw is fucked, @Evan D

not sure how fucked yet

but quite

Evan D

Oops

I slipped!

😂Young, Hazy

Boyle

great job tonight, babies

@Holmberg @Young @Haasy

Cap

Yes

You were fantastic

Holmberg

just doing our jobs

Nicky C

Drinks in town tonight?

Thumbs up for yes

👍Boyle, Young, Haasy, Troy, Holmberg

Cap

Sorry boys

I have a regular hookup in Montreal 😏

Evan D

TELL SHANE TO COME GET DRUNK WITH US

Haasy

Yes!

Nicky C

Do it do it do it

Cap

Not tonight, boys

Been a hard day, yes?

Need to relax a little

Troy

No one ask what he means by relaxing

Boyle

we literally do not need that answered

😏Cap

Bood

no matter

because i have secured the unsecurable

Hazy

What??

Bood

keep friday may 29th free for our next bbq boys

jane/shane will be in attendance 😏

Evan D

HOLY FUCK

Haasy

Oh my god

Cap

A gift for my beautiful team

(The gift is my beautiful Shane)

Now go out and get drunk for me

Boyle

oh god

you two are going to be insufferable, aren’t you

Evan D

I should have put money on you being a lover boy

Cap

Oh @Boyle

If you thought I was bad about Jane 😈

Now I am free

Holmberg

we are not safe

😈Cap

Hazy

Oh man

Bood

we’re not ready

Young

how much can i legally drink tonight

Nicky C

Depends if you brought your fake ID

Young

fuck u im 22

Nicky C

Months old?

Cap

Children!

Shut up

Go and make your father proud

My club days are behind me

Bood

same here

everyone be good

Troy

You’re all old

Holmberg

very bold of you

Troy

Oh I literally dare you tonight

Cap

Good god

Everyone be quiet and love each other please!

Evan D

What else is the rainbow for!!

Troy

Gay rights

Evan D

And that

Young

gay rights + team love in the chat only tonight pls

Nicky C

This is how you know we’re fucked

When Young is the voice of reason

Bood

go forth & throw it back

bbq bring list will be with you soon

Evan D

@Cap tell Shane we say hi!

Cap

He says hello back

Hazy

Wow @Haasy how are you doing right now

Haasy

Literally fuck off 😭

Cap

All of you fuck off

And shut up

Evan D

Everyone be silent while he works his magic

Holmberg

we have got to be the weirdest team in the league

🤔Boyle, Nicky C

Troy

Definitely the gayest

🌈Cap, Bood, Hazy, Young, Holmberg, Evan D, Haasy, Nicky C, Boyle