Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

J. J. Boiziau/Shane Hollander, J. J. Boiziau & Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander & Rose Landry, J. J. Boiziau & Hayden Pike

Characters:

J. J. Boiziau, Shane Hollander, Rose Landry, Hayden Pike, Miles (Rose's Friend), or?? - Character, Miles (Heated Rivalry)

Additional Tags:

3+1, Bi-Curiosity, jj finds out fic, Canon Compliant, Episode: s01e04 Rose (Heated Rivalry), and a bit of, Episode: s01e05 I'll Believe in Anything (Heated Rivalry), First Kiss, Making Out, Coming Out, Drunken Confessions, Anxious Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Needs a Hug, a fuckton of bastardized french language #sorry, POV J.J. Boiziau, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Open to Interpretation, ilya is apart of this as the ghost haunting shane hollander but no more than that, Good Friend Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais, Bisexual Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J.J. Dagenais

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of j.j.'s bisexual adventures

Collections:

You Have the Right to Remain Anon

Stats:

Published: 2026-01-25 Completed: 2026-01-29 Words: 9,289 Chapters: 4/4

j.j.'s discovery of bisexuality and what shane hollander's lips feel like

Summary

After inviting Shane out to dinner and some well-timed questions about his friend's relationship status, J.J. realized he might be missing amjor puzzle piece in the task of known Shane Hollander. Good thing J.J. is pretty open minded... wait... not that open-minded, right??

 

(How J.J. Boiziau realizes his friend is gay, that he is bi, and gets a kiss out of it)

Notes

NGL i've been sitting on this for a while but never bothered to edit it till today after i saw some people tweeting about the lack of J.J./Shane in the fandom. here is me filling that hole. 4 chapters of jj!!

also i am NOT a french speaker and google translate is my friend. if any french speakers have corrections for me in the comments i would ABSOLUTELY edit that right away

also also this is going to be hashtag short. maybe daily updates depending on my motivation.

Chapter 1

J.J. Boiziau had seen Shane Hollander look miserable before. After bad losses, mostly, or when he was overthinking something until his brain tied itself in knots. But this was different. This was a whole week of Shane dragging himself through practice like every drill was torture, barely speaking to anyone, disappearing the second they were dismissed.

Something had happened. J.J. didn't know what, but he knew his captain needed an intervention.

"Hollander, what the fuck are you doing right now?" J.J. demanded into his phone Friday night, already grabbing his keys.

There was a pause. J.J. could practically hear Shane sitting in his apartment, staring at nothing.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Bullshit! Get your ass to the Mile End, baby! My buddy François, the chef, you remember him?"

"Oh, yeah?"

J.J. grinned, already halfway to his car. "He's having an after hours thing at his restaurant. And get this—the cast of the X Squad movie they're filming in town is here."

"All of them?" Shane's voice perked up slightly, and J.J. felt victorious.

"I don't fucking know! Get down here! You remember the restaurant, right? Le Tambour?"

"I don't know..."

"Come on, man! When's the last time you left that apartment? Tonight you need to get out of your head!"

Forty minutes later, J.J. was holding court in the middle of Le Tambour's warmly lit dining room when Shane walked through the door. He looked tired, J.J. thought. Not physically exhausted, but emotionally wrung out. His shoulders were tight, his jaw set in that way that meant he was forcing himself to be here.

"Yes, you bitch! Good to see you!" J.J. pulled Shane into a one-armed hug, slapping his back. "OK, guys, this one never leaves his fucking house. Tonight is a miracle! Shane, come on."

Shane managed a tight smile, nodding at the various people J.J. gestured toward. J.J. kept one hand on Shane's shoulder, steering him through the crowd.

"Go get a drink," J.J. said, giving Shane a gentle push toward the bar. "Relax a little, yeah?"

Shane nodded and made his way to the bar. J.J. watched him go, then turned back to his conversation with one of the production assistants, though his attention kept drifting back to Shane.

About ten minutes later, J.J. wandered back over to check on him. The bartender (a good-looking guy with dark skin and an easy smile) was chatting with Shane as he poured drinks.

"Shane Hollander can have whatever he wants," the bartender was saying, setting a beer down with a flourish.

Shane looked flustered, pushing a ten across the bar. "Thanks. You keep it then."

"It's an honor," the bartender said warmly.

"Cool crowd, huh?" J.J. said, sliding onto the stool next to Shane.

"Yeah," Shane said, but he wasn't looking at the crowd. He was staring at his beer.

"You kidding? A bunch of famous actors are here tonight. Rose Landry's here, man."

Shane's head snapped up. "She is?"

"Yeah." J.J. grinned. "She's over by the fritters, I think. You should go say hi."

"I might be needing another one of these," Shane said to the bartender, gesturing at his barely touched beer.

The bartender laughed, and J.J. watched the exchange with interest. There was something in the way the bartender looked at Shane. Something hopeful.

J.J. let Shane sit there for a few more minutes, then watched as Shane's eyes found Rose Landry across the room. He saw Shane take a breath, steel himself, and head over.

J.J. turned back to the bar, and the bartender was still watching Shane.

"So," the bartender said casually. "Your boy Shane. He single?"

J.J.'s eyebrows rose. "I couldn't say."

"Come on, man." The bartender leaned against the bar. "I'm trying to figure out if I should be hoping here."

J.J. glanced at Shane, now sitting across from Rose. "Is he into guys?"

J.J. opened his mouth to say no automatically. Of course not. Shane dated women. Shane was straight. But the word stuck in his throat.

Because when had Shane ever actually dated anyone seriously? J.J. had heard about a girl or two before Shane's rookie season, but in all the years they'd known each other, J.J. had never seen Shane date anyone. There were occasionally women at team events, but never the same one twice. Never anyone who stuck around.

"I..." J.J. paused. "I don't know, actually."

The bartender's smile was knowing. "Might want to find out."

J.J. spent the next hour circulating, doing what he did best: talking, laughing, making everyone feel welcome. But part of his attention stayed on Shane.

Shane and Rose talked for what must have been two hours straight. J.J. watched them lean in close, watched Rose's expression go soft and understanding, watched Shane's shoulders gradually relax. They looked comfortable together, natural even.

But not romantic. There was something about it that felt more like... friendship? Camaraderie?

Around eleven, the party started winding down. J.J. made his way over as Rose was gathering her things.

"This was really nice, Shane," Rose was saying. "Let's do it again sometime?"

"Yeah," Shane said, and he actually smiled. A real smile. "I'd like that."

They exchanged numbers, and Rose kissed Shane's cheek before heading out. Shane watched her go with a soft expression, and when he turned back to J.J., he looked lighter than he had all week.

"Good time?" J.J. asked as they headed for the door.

"Yeah, actually." Shane's smile was genuine. "Really good. Thanks for dragging me out."

"That's what I'm here for, man."

They stepped out into the cold Montreal night, breath fogging in the air. J.J.'s car was parked a block away, Shane's SUV right out front.

"You need a ride?" Shane asked.

"Nah, I'm good. You okay to drive?"

"I had one beer three hours ago. I'm fine."

They stood there for a moment in comfortable silence. J.J. wanted to ask what had Shane so miserable this week, but he knew pushing would just make Shane shut down.

"Hey," J.J. said instead. "That bartender was asking about you."

Shane blinked. "What about me?"

"If you were single. If you were into guys."

Something flickered across Shane's face. Surprise, maybe. Panic. "Oh."

"So?" J.J. kept his tone light, curious. "Are you? Into guys?"

"I..." Shane's jaw worked. "I should go. Thanks again for tonight, J.J."

He was in his SUV and pulling away before J.J. could say anything else.

J.J. stood there on the sidewalk, watching Shane's taillights disappear. That was not a straight guy's reaction to being asked if he was into men. That was panic. That was someone who'd been asked a question they didn't know how to answer.

Or didn't want to answer.

J.J. walked back to his car, his mind spinning. He thought about the bartender's question. Thought about Shane's week of misery. Thought about how Shane had looked at Rose tonight—fond and grateful but not attracted.

Thought about seven years of friendship and how little he actually knew about Shane's romantic life.

"Huh," J.J. said to himself as he climbed into his car.

He sat there for a moment before pulling out his phone. Scrolled through his texts with Shane, looking for... he didn't know what. Evidence? Clues?

But there was nothing. Just hockey talk and plans to grab food and the occasional meme.

J.J. started his car and headed home, but his mind wouldn't let it go. The bartender's hopeful expression. Shane's panic. The way Shane had relaxed with Rose but not in a way that suggested attraction.

And underneath all of that, something else. Something J.J. didn't want to examine too closely.

The way he'd been watching Shane tonight. Really watching him. The line of his shoulders. The way his hair fell across his forehead. The small smile when Rose made him laugh.

J.J. had always known Shane was good-looking. You'd have to be blind not to notice. But tonight he'd been noticing in a different way. Paying attention in a way that felt less like aesthetic appreciation and more like...

No. J.J. shook his head, turning up the radio to drown out his thoughts.

He was just worried about his friend. That was all. Just being a good teammate, a good captain.

That was all it was.

It had to be.

Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

A couple weeks later, J.J. was scrolling through Instagram when he saw it: a photo of Shane and Rose Landry leaving a café in the Plateau, looking comfortable together. The gossip account's caption was speculating about whether Montreal's favorite captain had found love.

J.J. stared at the photo. They looked good together, objectively. But something about it felt off.

His phone rang. Shane's name flashed across the screen.

"Capitaine," J.J. answered. "I was just looking at your Instagram debut with Rose Landry."

There was a pause. "You saw that?"

"Everyone saw that, man. So are you two...?"

"No," Shane said quickly. Too quickly. "We're just friends."

J.J. sat up straighter. "Yeah? The internet seems to think otherwise."

"The internet is wrong." Shane sighed. "We're not dating. We're not going to date."

"Why not?" J.J. asked, genuinely curious. "She's gorgeous, she's smart, you guys clearly get along."

"We're just... not compatible like that," Shane said carefully. "It wouldn't work out."

J.J. filed that away in the mental folder he'd been building since Le Tambour. The "what the fuck is going on with Shane" folder.

"If you say so," J.J. said. "So what's up?"

"Rose is still in town for filming, and she kind of... insisted I go out with her and her co-star tonight. To a club." Shane sounded pained. "I was wondering if you wanted to come? As backup?"

J.J. grinned. "A club? You hate clubs, baby."

"I know."

"You once told me clubs are an assault on all five senses."

"I know, J.J."

"But you're going anyway."

"Rose has been really good to me. I don't want to let her down." There was something vulnerable in Shane's voice. "And I'm kind of nervous about it."

Something warm bloomed in J.J.'s chest at that admission. Shane, nervous and asking for help. Shane, trusting J.J. enough to admit it.

"Yeah, I'll come," J.J. said. "Which club?"

"Stereo. Ten o'clock."

"Fancy. Should I dress up?"

"Rose picked out an outfit for me," Shane admitted. "But I feel kind of awkward in it. I don't know if it's too much or..."

"I'm sure you look great," J.J. said, and meant it. "Don't worry so much."

"Easy for you to say."

"Hey." J.J. softened his voice. "You're going to be fucking fine. We'll have fun, yeah?"

"If you say so."

After they hung up, J.J. sat there for a moment, phone in hand. Shane had sounded anxious but also kind of excited. And the fact that he'd called J.J., specifically asked him to come...

J.J. tried not to think too hard about why that made him feel good.

Later that night, J.J. arrived at Stereo fashionably late, as always. The club was already packed, music pounding, lights flashing. He spotted Shane immediately, standing near the bar with Rose and a tall, striking man who had to be Miles Carisi.

And Shane... fuck. Shane looked good.

He was wearing dark jeans that fit him perfectly and a fitted button-down that Rose had clearly chosen because Shane would never pick something that nice for himself. His hair was styled differently, pushed back instead of falling in his face. He looked uncomfortable but gorgeous.

J.J. felt something twist in his chest.

"There he is!" J.J. called out, pushing through the crowd. He pulled Shane into a hug, and Shane relaxed into it immediately. J.J. switched to French, murmuring in Shane's ear: "Tu es très beau ce soir."

Shane pulled back, flushing. "Merci," he said, fumbling over the words.

J.J. turned his smile on Rose and Miles. "Rose Landry! Even more beautiful in person. And you must be Miles."

Miles laughed, warm and genuine, and shook J.J.'s hand. "Nice to meet you, J.J. Shane's told us about you."

"All good things, I hope."

"Mostly complaints about your volume," Shane said, but he was smiling.

They fell into easy conversation. Miles was charming, funny, quick with a joke. At one point he leaned in close to J.J., said something flirty about J.J.'s accent, and J.J. felt himself flush.

"I should join Rose and Shane," Miles said after a moment, his smile knowing. "But we should talk more later."

J.J. watched him go, feeling flustered in a way he hadn't in a while. Miles was hot, and he was clearly interested, and...

And J.J. was watching Shane instead of Miles.

Watching the way Shane moved awkwardly to the music, clearly out of his element. Watching Rose pull him onto the dance floor properly, laughing as she tried to get him to loosen up. Watching Miles join them, sandwiching Shane between himself and Rose.

Shane looked overwhelmed, shuffling more than dancing, but he was trying. His face was flushed, hair falling back into his eyes despite the styling. Rose was in front of him, gorgeous and graceful. Miles was behind him, tall and confident.

And J.J. couldn't stop looking at Shane.

He tried to focus on Rose. She was objectively stunning, all curves and confidence. J.J. had always appreciated beautiful women, and Rose was definitely beautiful.

But his eyes kept drifting back to Shane. The line of his throat. The way his shirt pulled across his shoulders when he moved. The flush on his cheeks. The small smile when Rose said something that made him laugh.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

This was not good.

J.J. had known Shane was attractive. Everyone knew Shane was attractive. But this was different. This was… noticing. This was wanting.

And without meaning to, J.J.'s mind wandered somewhere it definitely shouldn't. What would it be like? Shane underneath him, all that awkward uncertainty translating into something else entirely. He'd probably be cute about it, bashful in that endearing way he got when he was out of his depth. Pliable and willing and—

J.J. shook his head, trying to clear it. What the fuck was wrong with him?

He grabbed a drink from the bar, trying to focus on anything else. The music. The lights. The other people dancing. But his gaze kept finding Shane, tracking his movements like a magnet.

Shane moved between Rose and Miles, clearly trying his best. Rose's hands were on the hem of his shirt, feeling him, and Miles was close behind, saying something in Shane's ear that made him laugh. They looked good together, the three of them. Like they fit.

But J.J. couldn't shake the thought of what Shane would look like in a different context. Pressed between two people, flushed and wanting. Or better yet, just Shane alone, responsive and gorgeous and—

Shane's head suddenly snapped up, his whole body going rigid. He was staring at something in the crowd, his face going pale. J.J. tried to follow his gaze but couldn't see what had spooked him through all the people.

Shane said something to Rose and Miles, then practically fled toward the back exit.

J.J. should follow him. Should make sure he was okay. But something held him back. The need to sort through what the fuck he was feeling, the confusion of realizing he'd spent the last hour having increasingly detailed thoughts about his best friend.

He grabbed his coat and headed for the door, but slower. Giving Shane space. Giving himself space to think.

Outside, the cold air was a shock after the heat of the club. Shane's SUV was already gone.

J.J.'s phone buzzed. Shane: Sorry. Had to go. Talk tomorrow?

J.J. stared at the message for a long moment. Typed back: Of course. You okay?

Three dots appeared, then disappeared. Then appeared again.

I don't know, Shane finally sent. But thanks for coming tonight.

J.J. leaned against the wall, watching his breath fog in the cold. His mind was racing, thoughts tumbling over each other too fast to process.

He was attracted to Shane. He'd just spent the last hour unable to look away from him, unable to stop noticing every detail. The way he moved, the way he smiled, the way his shirt fit. The thoughts he'd let himself have that he absolutely should not have been having.

And that meant... what? That J.J. was bi? That he was gay? That he was just confused?

J.J. had dated women his whole life. He liked women. He was attracted to women. He knew that for sure.

But apparently he was also attracted to men. Or at least, to Shane. And he had no fucking idea what to do with that information.

His phone buzzed again. Miles: Is Shane okay? He left pretty quickly.

J.J. typed back: He'll be fine. Thanks for looking out for him.

Of course, Miles replied. Then: And for what it's worth, you should call me sometime.

There was a phone number. An invitation.

J.J. stared at it for a long moment. Miles was hot. Miles was interested. Maybe after J.J. figured out what the hell was going on with him, after he sorted through this bisexuality thing (was it bisexuality? was that what this was?), that would be something worth exploring. Miles seemed like a good guy. Uncomplicated.

Unlike whatever mess J.J. was currently feeling about Shane.

He pocketed his phone and started walking toward his car. He needed to figure his shit out. Figure out what he was feeling, what it meant, whether this attraction to Shane was about Shane specifically or about J.J. discovering something new about himself.

But as he climbed into his car, all he could think about was Shane. The way he'd looked under the club lights, flushed and beautiful and trying so hard. The way he'd relaxed into J.J.'s hug at the beginning of the night. The vulnerability in his voice when he'd asked J.J. to come.

J.J. started the car and sat there for a moment, hands on the steering wheel.

"Fuck," he said to the empty car.

Because this wasn't just about figuring out his sexuality. This was about Shane. His friend Shane. And J.J. had no idea how to separate the two. No idea if he was attracted to Shane because Shane was a guy and J.J. was discovering he liked guys, or if there was something specific about Shane that drew him in.

He pulled out of the parking spot and headed home, but his mind wouldn't stop spinning. Shane's smile. Shane's laugh. The way he'd looked in that shirt. The thoughts J.J. had let himself have.

He needed to talk to someone. Needed to sort through this before he spiraled completely. Before he made things weird with the best friendship he had.

But even as he thought it, even as he tried to rationalize what he was feeling, part of him couldn't help but wonder: what if?

What if Shane really was interested in guys? What if that's why he couldn't date Rose? What if J.J. wasn't the only one feeling confused and attracted and overwhelmed?

J.J. shook his head. He was getting ahead of himself. Shane had his own shit going on, clearly. Whatever that was about probably had nothing to do with J.J.

Probably.

But as J.J. pulled into his parking spot and headed up to his apartment, he couldn't shake the memory of Shane's face when J.J. had murmured in French that he looked beautiful. The way Shane had flushed, the small smile he'd tried to hide.

Maybe it was nothing. Maybe J.J. was reading into things that weren't there.

Or maybe this was J.J.'s bisexual awakening, and figuring out if Shane Hollander was gay just happened to be the catalyst.

Either way, J.J. needed to figure it out. And fast.

Chapter End Notes

personal belief that shane hollander should be responsible for 50% of late gay or bi awakenings of the nhl..

also!! i mentioned i've been sitting on this for a while, and the edits are going great! i spur-of-the-moment also wrote an alternate ending that is a lot more promising for shayj(?) so you can keep you eye out for that after i finish uploading this

Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

sorry this took a bit longer !! i decided to pivot and had to re-write how the hayden/j.j. convo would go

J.J. lasted two days before he cracked and called Hayden.

They met for lunch at a diner in NDG, and J.J. spent the first fifteen minutes pushing his fries around his plate while Hayden demolished a burger. The lunch rush was dying down, leaving them in relative privacy in their corner booth.

"Okay," Hayden said finally, wiping ketchup from his mouth. "What's going on? You've been weird all week."

"Define weird."

"Quiet. Distracted. You missed an easy pass at practice yesterday." Hayden pointed a fry at him. "That's not like you."

J.J. sighed, running a hand through his hair. He glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear. "Can I ask you something? And you have to promise not to think I'm fucking insane."

Hayden's eyes narrowed. "This is already sounding bad."

"Do you think..." J.J. paused, leaning forward and lowering his voice. "Do you think Shane might be gay?"

Hayden choked on his Coke. "What?"

"Shane. Do you think he's gay?" J.J. was committed now, no turning back. "Because I've been thinking about it a lot, and there's a bunch of shit that makes way more sense if he is."

Hayden set down his drink, looking around nervously like someone might have overheard. "Dude. Where the fuck is this coming from?"

"Just hear me out." J.J. started ticking things off on his fingers. "First, he's never dated anyone. Not once in the seven fucking years I've known him. There was apparently someone back before his rookie season, but since then? Nothing. And it's not like he doesn't get offers—women hit on him all the time at team events, but he always makes an excuse."

Hayden was watching him now, his expression caught between uncomfortable and intrigued. The kind of look guys got when gossip was too good not to listen to but they didn't want to admit they were interested.

"Okay..." Hayden said slowly.

"Second," J.J. continued, getting into it now. "He's been weird about Rose. They're clearly close as fuck, but when I asked if they were dating, he shut it down immediately. Said they're 'not compatible like that.' And at the club, when she and Miles were dancing with him, he looked uncomfortable as hell. Not nervous-flattered, but genuinely uncomfortable."

"That could just mean he's not into her specifically," Hayden offered, but he was leaning in now, interested despite himself.

"Third." J.J. lowered his voice even more. "That bartender at Le Tambour. The guy was clearly into Shane, hitting on him. And Shane fucking volted. Not even in a 'haha no I'm straight,' but actual panic. He got out of there like his ass was on fire."

"Shit," Hayden said, his eyes widening. "Wait, really?"

"I was there. I saw it." J.J. sat back. "And fourth, there's all the little things. The way he gets tense when the guys talk about women in the locker room. How he never joins in when we're bullshitting about hookups. The fact that he's never brought anyone to a team event, ever."

He grabbed a fry off his plate, gesturing with it. "I've been replaying everything in my head, and it all fucking fits. I think Shane's gay, and he's been hiding it this whole time."

Hayden was quiet for a long moment, his face doing this weird journey from skeptical to thoughtful to something like dawning realization. He picked at the label on his Coke bottle.

"Yeah," he said finally, awkwardly. "I... yeah, I think you might be right."

"Really?" J.J. sat up straighter. "You think so too?"

Hayden scratched the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. "I mean, Jackie's been saying it for like two years."

"What?" J.J. almost knocked over his water. "Jackie thought Shane was gay?"

"She didn't say it outright, but she'd make comments." Hayden was definitely uncomfortable now, shifting in his seat. "Like 'I wonder what Shane's type is' or 'has Shane ever mentioned anyone special?' And I kept telling her to stop being nosy, but she was convinced there was something going on."

"Holy shit." J.J. leaned back. "What else did she say?"

"I don't know, man. She'd just analyze everything." Hayden waved his hand vaguely. "But I always figured it was just how Shane was, you know? Like, he's always been kind of... I don't know, different? Quiet, keeps to himself, doesn't really do the whole social thing like the rest of us. I didn't think it meant he was gay, just that he's Shane."

J.J. nodded slowly. That made sense. Shane had always been a little off to the side of things, not quite fitting into the typical hockey bro mold. But J.J. had never thought it meant anything beyond Shane being Shane.

"So I'm not crazy," J.J. said.

"There's one thing though," Hayden said, and his expression shifted. "Boston Lily."

J.J. frowned. "Who the fuck is Boston Lily?"

"You don't know?" Hayden looked surprised. "I thought you guys were close."

"We are," J.J. said, something sharp twisting in his chest. "Who's Boston Lily?"

"Shane was seeing some girl named Lily in Boston. That's what I call her, anyway—Boston Lily. They broke up a few weeks ago." Hayden leaned forward, his voice dropping. "That was serious, man. Like, really serious. I've never seen Shane like that over anyone."

J.J. felt like he'd been punched. Shane had been seeing someone. Someone serious enough that the breakup had wrecked him. And Shane had never mentioned it. Not once.

"He didn't tell me," J.J. said quietly, and fuck, it hurt more than it should. "He never said anything about seeing anyone."

Hayden's expression went sympathetic. "I'm sorry, man. I thought you knew."

"No." J.J. shook his head, trying to push past the hurt. "No, I didn't know. But..." He paused, an idea forming. "What if Lily is a guy?"

Hayden's mouth fell open. "What?"

"Think about it." J.J. was getting animated now, the pieces clicking together. "You said 'Lily,' but it could be fake. And if Shane's been hiding that he's gay, he'd have to hide who he was dating too. Using a name that sounds like a girl's name would be a perfect fucking cover."

"Oh my god," Hayden said slowly, his eyes going wide. He looked around again, making sure they were still alone. "Jackie said that too."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she said the vibes sounded weird and I was like 'babe, you're insane,' but..." Hayden shook his head, looking stunned. "Shit. You really think Shane's been seeing a guy this whole time? Like, in secret?"

"I don't know," J.J. said, even though he was pretty sure now. "But it would make sense, wouldn't it? The secrecy, the breakup fucking him up so much, the fact that he never mentioned it to anyone."

"To anyone except me," Hayden corrected. "And even then he barely said anything. Just that things were over and he was dealing with it."

J.J. felt that sharp twist again. Shane had told Hayden but not him. Shane, his best friend, had been going through something huge and hadn't said a word.

They sat in silence for a moment. Hayden was staring at his plate. The diner clattered around them—dishes clanking, someone's phone ringing, the hiss of the grill.

"Okay, so..." J.J. said carefully, his chest tight. "Hypothetically. If Shane is gay. What would that mean? Like, for the team, for us?"

Hayden looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, would anything change? Would people treat him differently?" J.J. was gripping his water glass too hard.

"J.J., come on. You know me better than that." Hayden's voice was firm, almost offended. "Nothing would change. Shane's Shane. He's our captain, our fucking friend. Who he's into doesn't matter for shit."

"You're sure?"

"Positive." Hayden paused, then grinned slightly, some of the tension breaking. "I mean, the only thing that would change is Jackie would probably start trying to set him up with guys instead of girls. She's been on a mission to find him someone for years. She'd be fucking thrilled to have a new angle."

J.J. felt something loosen in his chest. Relief washing over him. "Yeah. Okay. That's good."

Hayden was studying him now, his head tilted. "Why are you so worried about this? Is something else going on?"

J.J. took a breath. This was it. He pushed his plate aside, needing something to do with his hands. "Okay, so. In the process of trying to figure out if Shane's gay, I've been... researching. Kind of."

"Researching?" Hayden's eyebrows went up.

"Like, thinking about it. About guys. About what it would mean to be into guys." J.J. could feel his face heating, his fingers drumming against the table. "And I think... fuck, I don't know. I think I might be questioning my own sexuality?"

Hayden blinked. Then blinked again. "Oh."

The silence stretched out. J.J. could hear his own heartbeat in his ears.

"I've always liked women," J.J. said quickly, the words tumbling out. "I'm definitely attracted to women. But lately I've been noticing guys too. Or one guy specifically. And I don't know if that means I'm bi, or if I'm just confused, or what the fuck is going on with me."

"Okay," Hayden said slowly, carefully, like he was trying not to spook a wild animal. "That's... okay."

"Is it?" J.J. asked, and he hated how desperate he sounded. "Because I'm fucking confused as hell right now."

"Yeah, it's okay." Hayden's voice was gentle but awkward as hell, like he was trying to comfort someone but didn't know the right words. He reached across the table and patted J.J.'s shoulder in that aggressively straight-guy way. "I mean, I don't really know much about this shit, but... you're still you, right? You're still J.J. This doesn't change who you are."

"But what if I don't know who I am?" J.J. asked quietly, staring at his plate. "What if I've been wrong about myself this whole time?"

"Then you figure it out," Hayden said firmly, his hand still on J.J.'s shoulder. "And I'm here for you while you do. We all are. You're not alone in this, man."

J.J. felt his throat get tight. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Hayden pulled his hand back and took a drink of his Coke, clearly trying to figure out what to say next. "Is it Shane?" he finally asked, his voice careful. "The one guy you've been noticing?"

J.J. hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. I can't stop thinking about him. But I don't know if it's because I'm into him specifically, or if it's because I'm just fucking figuring out I might be into guys in general and he's... available. In my head, I mean."

"Fuck," Hayden muttered. "That's a lot to process."

"Tell me about it." J.J. scrubbed his face with his hands. "And the worst part is, if Shane is gay, he's clearly dealing with his own shit. I can't dump my confusion on top of that."

"You don't have to have it all figured out right now," Hayden said, and he sounded so earnest it almost hurt. "Just... take your time. Be honest with yourself. And with Shane, when you're ready."

"Yeah," J.J. said. "Yeah, okay."

They finished lunch after that, conversation drifting to safer topics—practice, the next game, Hayden's kids. But J.J.'s mind was elsewhere. He felt better having talked about it, having someone know what he was going through. But he was also more confused than ever, his thoughts spinning.

And underneath it all, that quiet hurt. Shane had been seeing someone and hadn't told him. Shane was dealing with being gay and hadn't said anything. J.J. was supposed to be his friend, and Shane had kept all of this from him.

Maybe J.J. wasn't as close to Shane as he thought.

That evening, J.J. was walking back to his car after the gym when he saw Shane sitting on a bench outside a restaurant in the Plateau. He was alone, staring at his phone with a sad expression that made J.J.'s chest ache.

"Shane?" J.J. called out, jogging over. "Hey, capitaine. What are you doing out here?"

Shane looked up, and his eyes were red. Like he'd been crying.

"Oh," Shane said, voice rough. "Hey, J.J. I was just... I had dinner with Rose. She just left."

J.J. sat down next to him without asking, close enough that their shoulders touched. The cold from the metal bench seeped through his jeans. "You okay? You look like shit."

Shane laughed wetly. "Thanks."

"You know what I mean." J.J. bumped their shoulders together. "C'est quoi le problème?" What's the problem?

Shane was quiet for a long moment, his breath fogging in the cold air. Then, quietly: "Rose and I had a really good talk tonight. About some personal stuff. She made me realize some things. About myself."

J.J.'s heart started pounding. "Yeah?"

"And I think..." Shane's voice shook. "I think I need to tell you something. But I'm scared."

"Hey." J.J. turned to face him properly, their knees knocking together. "It's me. You can tell me anything."

Shane looked at him, and the vulnerability in his expression made J.J. want to pull him into a hug and also punch whoever made him look like that. But before Shane could speak, J.J. jumped in: "Il n'y a rien que tu pourrais me dire qui me ferait penser moins de toi. Tu comprends? Rien." There's nothing you could tell me that would make me think less of you. You understand? Nothing.

Shane's eyes filled with tears. "Même si je te dis que je suis gay?" Even if I tell you I'm gay?

The words hung between them in the cold air. J.J. felt something slot into place in his chest, something that had been loose and rattling since that night at Le Tambour.

"Surtout si tu me dis ça," J.J. said gently. Especially if you tell me that. He reached out and squeezed Shane's hand. "Shane. It's okay. I promise it's okay."

Shane's breath hitched, and tears started falling properly now. "You're not... you don't think it's weird?"

"Why the fuck would I think it's weird?" J.J. kept his voice soft but firm. "You're still you. Still my captain. Still my friend. This doesn't change anything between us."

"It changes everything," Shane whispered.

"Not between us." J.J. squeezed his hand again. "Never between us, d'accord?"

Shane nodded, wiping at his eyes with his free hand.

"Allez, viens," J.J. said, standing up and pulling Shane with him. Come on. "Let's get out of here. Go back to my place. We can talk there, or not talk, whatever you need."

"Okay," Shane said quietly, his voice rough. "Yeah. Okay."

As they walked to their cars, J.J. kept glancing over at Shane. His eyes were still red, his shoulders hunched against the cold. Shane looked small in a way J.J. wasn't used to, vulnerable and raw.

"Meet you there?" J.J. asked when they reached Shane's SUV.

Shane nodded, not quite meeting his eyes. "Yeah. Thanks, J.J."

J.J. watched him climb into his car, watched him sit there for a moment with his hands on the steering wheel before starting the engine. Then J.J. headed to his own car, his mind already tumbling with everything Shane had just told him.

Shane was gay. Shane had been hiding it for years. J.J. might be holding some form of a torch for him. And J.J. was about to spend the evening with him.

He had no fucking idea how this was going to go.

Chapter End Notes

hayden is helpful bff but also honey that's a straight man . lets pretend jackie possessed him for this conversation? (maybe she and hayd had been talking about how to handle stuff in prep for shane and the curveball of j.j. was just kind thrown in there)

Chapter 4

Chapter Notes

final chapter !! i wanted to end it on a sweet, open note.

They ended up at J.J.'s apartment with Thai food and a bottle of wine that J.J. had been saving for a special occasion. This felt special enough.

Shane was quiet through most of dinner, picking at his pad thai while J.J. tried to keep the conversation light. Talking about practice, about Hayden's kids, about the terrible Tinder date J.J. had gone on last week. Anything to keep Shane from spiraling.

But as the wine bottle emptied, Shane started to relax. His shoulders dropped. His smiles became more genuine. And when J.J. cracked a particularly bad joke, Shane actually laughed, real and unguarded.

"Ton accent est terrible," Shane said, his words slightly slurred.

"My accent is perfect, you take that back."

"It's really not." Shane was grinning now, loose and easy in a way J.J. hadn't seen in weeks. "You sound like a Québécois stereotype."

"I am a Québécois stereotype," J.J. said proudly, refilling both their glasses. The bottle was almost empty now. "Loud, fashionable, excellent taste in food and wine."

"And so modest."

"Modesty is for people with nothing to brag about."

Shane laughed again, the sound warm and uninhibited, and J.J. felt victorious. This was good. This was so much better than seeing Shane sad and withdrawn.

They moved to the couch, bringing the wine with them. Shane immediately poured himself another glass, his movements uncoordinated enough that he almost missed. J.J. watched him, noting the heavy flush on his cheeks, the way his eyes were a little unfocused.

"You should probably slow down, baby," J.J. said, though his own words were coming easier than they should, his tongue loose from wine.

"Probably," Shane agreed, but he took a large sip anyway, then set the glass down with slightly too much force. He was quiet for a moment, staring at nothing. Then: "I broke it off with someone. A few weeks ago. That's why I was so miserable when you called me that night. When you made me go to Le Tambour."

"Fuck," J.J. said, his heart sinking. "Boston Lily?"

Shane's head snapped up, swaying slightly with the movement. "How the fuck do you know about that?"

"Hayden mentioned it. He didn't have details, just that you'd broken up with someone."

"Oh." Shane stared into his wine glass, gripping it too tight. "Yeah. Lily. We were... it was complicated. And messy. And I got scared and broke it off, and now he won't talk to me and I don't blame him because I was a fucking coward and I hurt him and..." His voice broke, thick with emotion and alcohol. "He's never going to want to talk to me again."

J.J. shifted closer on the couch, the room tilting slightly with the movement. "Shane. Listen to me, okay? Anyone would be lucky to have you, capitaine. You hear me? If this guy can't see how fucking amazing you are, that's his loss."

"You don't understand." Shane's eyes were shining with unshed tears, red-rimmed and unfocused. "It's not like that. I'm the one who fucked up. I'm the one who was too scared to just... to just be with him the way he deserved."

"So tell him that," J.J. said, his words passionate but slightly slurred. "Apologize. Explain. Fight for him if he's that important to you, baby."

"I can't." Shane wiped at his eyes clumsily. "It's too late. I ruined everything."

J.J. didn't know what to say to that. The wine was making everything feel too much and not enough at the same time. He just pulled Shane into a hug, letting him cry against his shoulder. And god, J.J. hated seeing Shane hurt like this. Hated it so fucking much. He wanted to fix it, to make it better, to take away the pain.

The feelings were getting all tangled up. Friendship and attraction and this protective instinct that made his chest ache. He cared about Shane so damn much, and sorting out where friendship ended and something else began felt impossible right now.

Shane pulled back after a moment, scrubbing at his face. "Sorry. I'm a fucking mess."

"You're allowed to be a mess," J.J. said, his hand still on Shane's shoulder.

They sat there for a moment in silence, the kind that felt heavy with things unsaid. J.J. took another drink of wine, liquid courage, and felt the words bubbling up in his chest.

"So, uh." J.J. started, then stopped. Took another sip. "Since we're being honest with each other tonight..."

Shane looked at him, eyes red and waiting.

"I've been doing some thinking too. About myself." J.J. could feel his face heating, and not just from the wine. "About my sexuality and shit."

"What kind of thinking?" Shane's voice was quiet, careful.

"I think..." J.J. ran a hand through his hair, the words coming easier drunk but still difficult. "Fuck, I don't know. I think I might be into guys? Maybe? I've always liked women, but lately I've been noticing... and I can't stop thinking about..." He gestured vaguely, frustrated at his inability to articulate it. "I'm questioning shit, basically. Don't know if I'm bi or what."

Shane's expression shifted, something soft and understanding. "Oh. Wow."

"Yeah." J.J. laughed, the sound nervous. "So we're both kind of figuring out our shit, huh?"

"Yeah," Shane said quietly. "We are."

They fell silent again, but it felt different now. Less heavy. More like they were both sitting in the same boat, trying to navigate the same confusing waters.

J.J. reached for the wine bottle, realized it was empty. "Merde."

"There's another one in the kitchen," Shane said.

"You're a bad influence, Hollander."

"You're the one who opened the first bottle."

J.J. got up, swaying slightly, and made his way to the kitchen. He came back with another bottle of red, cheaper than the first but who cared at this point. He poured them both generous glasses, his aim slightly off.

They drank in comfortable silence for a few minutes. J.J. could feel Shane's warmth next to him on the couch, could see the way the lamplight caught in his hair. His confession hung between them, mixed with Shane's, creating something fragile and new.

"I just wish..." Shane trailed off, his words heavy and slow. "I wish I could talk to him. Just once more. To tell him I'm sorry. That I was wrong. That I..." He stopped, shaking his head like he was trying to clear it.

J.J. was still so close, their knees touching on the couch. Shane's face was flushed dark from wine and crying, his eyes red but somehow still beautiful. The room felt warm and close, the edges soft. Without thinking, J.J. reached out and brushed a strand of hair from Shane's forehead.

Shane went very still.

They stared at each other for a long moment. J.J. could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears, could feel the wine making everything feel surreal and immediate at the same time. Could see the exact moment Shane's gaze dropped to his lips.

"J.J.," Shane whispered, the name coming out thick and wanting.

"Oui?"

"I think I'm going to do something stupid."

Shane leaned in and kissed him.

It was soft at first, tentative, tasting like wine and salt. Like Shane was testing, seeing if J.J. would pull away. But J.J. didn't pull away. Instead, he leaned in, the wine making him bold, cupping Shane's face with one hand and kissing him back.

Shane made a small sound, something desperate and relieved, and the kiss deepened. It was messy, a little clumsy, both of them drunk and wanting. But it was also good in a way that made J.J.'s chest ache.

Shane's hands fisted in J.J.'s shirt, pulling him closer with surprising strength for someone this drunk. J.J. went willingly, letting Shane pull him down until they were horizontal on the couch, Shane underneath him. The kiss turned hungry, urgent, Shane arching up into J.J. like he couldn't get close enough.

J.J.'s hand slid under Shane's shirt, feeling the warm skin beneath. Shane gasped against his mouth, and J.J. took the opportunity to kiss along his jaw, down his throat. Shane's pulse was racing under his lips.

"J.J.," Shane breathed, the word slurred at the edges. "We shouldn't..."

"Ouais, on devrait arrêter," J.J. agreed, his French coming easier drunk, but he didn't stop. He kissed Shane again, deeper this time, swallowing the small sounds Shane was making.

Shane's hands were in J.J.'s hair now, tugging just enough to make J.J. groan. This was insane. This was everything J.J. had been trying not to think about for weeks, and it was better than he'd imagined. Shane was responsive and needy, his body pliant beneath J.J.'s weight.

J.J. slid his thigh between Shane's legs, and Shane made a broken sound, hips jerking up uncoordinated. His shirt had ridden up, exposing a strip of pale skin that J.J. wanted to taste. He pressed his mouth to Shane's collarbone, then lower, pushing the fabric up more.

"Fuck," Shane gasped, hands clutching at J.J.'s shoulders with clumsy desperation. "J.J., please..."

J.J. wasn't even sure what Shane was asking for, but he wanted to give it to him. Wanted to make Shane feel good, wanted to hear more of those desperate sounds. His hand traced down Shane's side, over his hip, and Shane's hand caught his wrist with unsteady fingers.

For a second, J.J. thought Shane was guiding him lower. Then Shane's grip tightened, his whole body going tense.

"Wait," Shane said suddenly, his voice thick and panicked. "Wait, we can't. I can't."

J.J. froze, breathing hard, the room spinning slightly. "What's wrong?"

"You're my friend." Shane's eyes were wide and glassy with alcohol and panic. "You're one of my best friends and I can't... it wouldn't be fair. To you. I still like someone else and this would just be me using you to feel better and that's not... I can't do that to you."

J.J. rolled off him, sitting up too fast and having to brace himself as the room tilted. His heart was pounding, his body still humming with want, everything fuzzy at the edges from wine. "Shane..."

"I'm sorry." Shane sat up too, moving carefully like he was trying not to fall over, wrapping his arms around himself. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. That was wrong. I was drunk and upset and I wasn't thinking..."

"Hey." J.J. caught Shane's chin with clumsy fingers, making him look up. "Don't fucking apologize for kissing me."

"But I..."

J.J. cut him off with another kiss, this one gentle. Brief. When he pulled back, Shane was staring at him with wide, unfocused eyes.

"Listen to me," J.J. said, the words coming out more intense than he meant, the wine making him honest. "I'm not mad. I'm not hurt. And you didn't use me, okay? I wanted that too."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I did." J.J. tried to find the right words through the haze. "I've been figuring out a lot of shit lately. About myself. And apparently part of that is being attracted to you. So that kiss? That was mutual, trust me."

Shane looked devastated, tears spilling over. "J.J., I can't... I'm not over Lily. I might never be over Lily."

"I know," J.J. said, his thumb brushing across Shane's cheek, wiping away tears. The touch was unsteady but gentle. "And that's okay, baby. I'm not asking you for anything."

"Then why did you kiss me back?"

"Because I wanted to." J.J. shrugged, trying to keep it light even though his chest felt tight and everything felt too intense. "Because you're fucking gorgeous and sad and I wanted to make you feel better. And because I'm figuring out my own shit right now and apparently that includes this."

He gestured vaguely between them, the movement loose and uncoordinated. The attraction, the wanting, the way his protective feelings for Shane were blurring into something more complicated.

Shane shook his head, swaying slightly. "I don't deserve you."

"Hey, I'm not some saint here." J.J. smiled ruefully, his words coming out more honest than they would sober. "I'm just as confused as you are, capitaine. The difference is I'm not carrying a torch for someone else."

"What if..." Shane hesitated, his eyes unfocused and hopeful. "What if things were different? What if I wasn't..."

"But you are," J.J. said firmly, even through the wine. "You're in love with this Lily guy. And that's what matters right now. You need to figure out what you want with him. And I need to figure out my own shit. The bi thing, what I'm actually feeling versus what's just new and exciting." He ran a hand through his hair, the movement making him sway. "We're both kind of a fucking mess right now."

Shane's eyes were shining with tears. "So what do we do?"

"We're friends," J.J. said, leaning forward intensely. "That's what we do. I support you, you support me. And maybe down the line, if things are different..." He let the thought hang there, unfinished, too drunk to articulate the rest.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe," J.J. said. "But that's future us's problem. Right now, you need to deal with Lily. And I need to deal with the fact that I apparently like making out with guys."

Shane laughed wetly, the sound breaking. "You're really okay with this?"

"I'm really okay with this." J.J. kissed Shane's forehead, missing slightly and getting his eyebrow. "I hope things work out with Lily. I really do. Because you deserve to be happy, Shane. You deserve to be so fucking happy."

"What if it doesn't work out?"

J.J. met his eyes, trying to focus through the haze. "Then we'll see where we are when that happens. But either way, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, capitaine."

Shane pulled him into a hug. "I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like you."

"You exist," J.J. said simply. "That's enough."

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of everything settling between them. J.J. knew his feelings weren't going to just disappear. But he also knew Shane needed support right now, not pressure.

"I should probably go," Shane said finally. "I'm pretty drunk and I've made enough bad decisions tonight."

"You can stay," J.J. offered. "Take the guest room. I don't want you driving like this."

Shane hesitated, then nodded. "Okay. Yeah. Thanks."

J.J. set him up in the guest room with water and aspirin for the morning. At the door, Shane turned back.

"J.J.?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything. For being so understanding. For not making this weird."

"It's already fucking weird," J.J. said with a grin. "But we'll figure it out."

Shane smiled, small but genuine. "Yeah. We will."

After Shane closed the door, J.J. stood in the hallway for a long moment. His lips still tingled from kissing Shane. His body still ached with wanting more.

But he'd meant what he said. Shane deserved to be happy. And J.J. needed to figure out his own feelings, separate the newness of being with a guy from whatever else he was feeling for Shane specifically.

J.J. went to his own room and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow, things would probably be awkward. Tomorrow, they'd have to navigate this new reality.

But tonight, J.J. let himself remember the kiss. The way Shane had felt against him. The small sounds he'd made. The desperate way he'd pulled J.J. closer.

Maybe it would lead somewhere eventually. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe Shane would get his closure with Lily and they'd try something. Maybe J.J.'s attraction would fade as he explored this new part of himself with other people.

Or maybe they'd end up right back here, months or years from now, when the timing was finally right.

Either way, J.J. wasn't going anywhere. Shane was his best friend, and that mattered more than anything else.

The rest would sort itself out.

The next morning, J.J. woke up to the smell of coffee. He stumbled into the kitchen to find Shane already up, looking sheepish but less hungover than he had any right to be.

"Morning," Shane said quietly. "I made coffee. And I ordered bagels. They should be here in ten minutes."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." Shane fiddled with his mug. "About last night..."

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," J.J. said gently.

"I want to." Shane took a breath. "I meant what I said. About not being over Lily. But I also... I liked kissing you. And I don't want things to be weird between us."

"They don't have to be weird."

"Really?"

J.J. poured himself coffee and leaned against the counter. "Really. We're adults. We can handle this. You're dealing with your shit, I'm dealing with mine. We're friends first. Everything else is just... extra."

Shane smiled, relief clear in his expression. "You're way too good at this."

"At what?"

"Being understanding. Being supportive. Most people would be pissed or hurt or..."

"I'm a little hurt," J.J. admitted. "But I'm also figuring out a lot of my own shit. And I meant what I said. I want you to be happy."

The doorbell rang. Bagels.

They ate breakfast together, conversation gradually becoming more normal. Shane told J.J. about Rose's conversation, about how she'd helped him come to terms with his own identity. J.J. told Shane about his conversation with Hayden, about how he was still figuring out what being bi meant for him.

It felt good. Natural. Like they were building something new while keeping what they'd always had.

When Shane was leaving, J.J. caught his arm at the door. "Hey. Keep me updated? About Lily. If you reach out to him, how it goes."

Shane's expression went complicated. "J.J., I don't think..."

"I'm serious," J.J. said. "I want to know. Friends, remember? I'm here for you."

Shane nodded slowly. "Okay. Yeah. I will."

He hesitated, clearly warring with himself about something. Then he just pulled J.J. into another hug.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "For last night. For this morning. For everything."

After Shane left, J.J. stood in his doorway for a long moment, watching him walk to his car.

Whatever happened next, whether Shane worked things out with Lily or not, whether J.J.'s feelings evolved into something more or faded into manageable friendship, they'd figure it out.

They had time.

J.J. closed the door and went to clean up the breakfast dishes, already thinking about his conversation with Hayden, about maybe taking Miles up on that offer to call sometime.

He had his own journey to navigate. And Shane had his.

Where those paths led, only time would tell.

Chapter End Notes

and thats a wrap!! thank you so much for reading and giving this fic love.

extra: i have already written a follow up where they actually hook up and it ends on a more promising note so bookmark/sub to the series for more content . they kind of have... completely taken my heart. why do i yearn for the rarepairs like this??

also let me know if there are any aus or fics in general you'd like to see for shayj in the future !! i'll probably take a stab at any requests even if its just a little drabble (500-1.2k words)❤️