Preface
Ilya gets added to the Hollander family groupchat
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/76249201.
- Rating:
- Teen And Up Audiences
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Categories:
- Gen, M/M
- Fandoms:
- Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
- Relationships:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Yuna Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, David Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Yuna Hollander, David Hollander & Shane Hollander
- Characters:
- Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander
- Additional Tags:
- Texting, Texting Fic, Crack, Group Chats, Humor, Not Canon Compliant, Found Family, Uncle Ilya Rozanov
- Language:
- English
- Series:
- Part 2 of team meeting!
- Stats:
- Published: 2025-12-23 Completed: 2026-02-22 Words: 2,101 Chapters: 5/5
Ilya gets added to the Hollander family groupchat
by dowhile
Summary
Shane added David, Yuna, and Ilya to the conversation
Shane renamed the conversation Hollander Family and Ilya
Ilya removed Shane from the conversation
Ilya renamed the conversation The Cool Hollanders and Ilya
- Yuna
- Shane, should we make a family group chat with Ilya?
- Shane
- If you want.
- Yuna
- Of course we want!
- He's part of the family now
- David
- The more the merrier!
- Shane
- Oh, ok. Yeah I can make it.
Hollander Family
April 3 9:03 AM
- Shane
- Here you go, Mom
- Yuna
- Yay, welcome Ilya! This is Shane's mom
- David
- Welcome!
- This is David
- Ilya
- oh
- hello Hollanders
- David
- We're so excited to get to know you better
- Yuna
- Even if you ARE a Bear 😘
Hollander Family and Ilya
April 3 10:01 AM
Shane added David, Yuna, and Ilya to the conversation
Shane renamed the conversation Hollander Family and Ilya
- Ilya
- hmm your mother is wrong
- Shane
- What?
- Ilya
- never enough body hair on me to be bear
- Shane
- Jesus Christ.
- Please don't go teaching her those words.
Shane
April 3 10:03 AM
- Ilya
- ah, well you know
- will be centaur soon enough
- Yuna
- We apologize for rooting against you in the meantime!
- Ilya
- :(
- Shane
- Oh please
- Ilya
- what??
- Shane
- He's just fishing for sympathy
- Ilya
- will be hard with lifelong montreal fans
- but I will still try
- :,(
- Yuna
- Sorry bud!
- Ilya
- is ok
- eventually you will see who is better son
- David
- Ha ha
Hollander Family and Ilya
April 3 10:05 AM
- Yuna
- Ok, Ilya
- I'm giving Boston permission to beat Florida to a pulp
- Shane
- Wow, a rare blessing
- Ilya
- yes ma'am
- anything for you
- Ilya
- you are welcome Yuna
- you are welcome Shane
- Shane
- What am I welcome for exactly?
- Ilya
- helping your scruffy team make playoffs
- Shane
- Yeah, thanks.
- Yuna
- He's not wrong
- Shane
- I know, but I'm not going to thank him for doing his JOB.
- Ilya
- he is ungrateful
- I am sorry if he has always been this way
Hollander Family and Ilya
April 4 12:21 PM
April 4 6:42 PM
Ilya removed Shane from the conversation
Ilya renamed the conversation Hollander Family minus Shane plus Ilya
Ilya renamed the conversation The Cool Hollanders and Ilya
- Shane
- You can't remove me from a chat I ADDED YOU TO
- Ilya
- hmmm
- I think I just did
- Shane
- Add me back, asshole.
Ilya
April 4 7:02 PM
- Ilya
- sorry, he was in timeout
- Shane
- "The Cool Hollanders"?
- Ilya
- yes
- Shane
- You've got a lot to learn about my family.
- David
- Wait until you see my Lego collection
- Ilya
- ohh I see
- I get it now
The Cool Hollanders and Ilya
April 4 9:10 PM
Ilya added Shane to the conversation
Ilya renamed the conversation The Cool Hollanders and Ilya (and Shane)
Ilya renamed the conversation The Super Cool Hollanders and Ilya (and Shane)
Chapter End Notes
life pro tip: if you write texting fics like these in a code editor people will think you're coding instead of writing fanfic 😎
- Shane
- We haven't changed the group name, huh?
- Yuna
- You can change it if you'd like, sweetheart
- Shane
- One day.
- I just can't think of anything better.
- Ilya
- I have idea
- Ilya
- in Boston, I would always go to mcdonalds
- I would get quarter pounder with cheese DELUXE
- with the lettuce and tomato
- Shane
- So you're saying you're lettuce and tomato?
- Ilya
- to your hollander family burger yes
- Yuna
- That's very sweet.
- David
- That's funny. I love it.
- Our deluxe Hollander family seems about right.
- Shane
- Well, in Canada we typically use the term "fully dressed" for burgers with all the toppings.
- Shane
- Oh my god.
- David
- Ooo. Yeah, maybe not.
- Yuna
- Oh goodness.
- Shane
- "Fully Dressed Hollander Family"
- Yeah, let's go back to the deluxe.
- Yuna
- Whew! Close one there
- David
- I shudder to think about the alternative...
- Shane
- Dad!
- David
- What? Ilya started it.
The Cool Hollanders and Ilya (and Shane)
August 19 11:03 AM
Ilya renamed the conversation Hollander Family Deluxe
Ilya renamed the conversation Fully Dressed Hollander Family
Ilya renamed the conversation Hollander Family Deluxe
Chapter End Notes
very blown away by all the love for my silly little jokes, I'm so glad people are enjoying. thank you for all your comments they are so lovely!!
just like my "Boston WAGs fic" this'll mostly be random snippets, no real plot, just silly fun. enjoy! <3
Chapter 3: wordle wars
Chapter Summary
a hot new word game has entered the group chat
Chapter Notes
crackfic timeline territory (I'm saying this particular set is from around 2021/2022) but I like to imagine they were on the wordle trend immediately and never stopped
See the end of the chapter for more notes
- Ilya
- have you guys seen this new game? wordle?
- Shane
- No, what's that?
- Ilya
- new word game
- go play I am sure you will be annoying and good
- Yuna
- Ooo, a word game!
- David
- Don't have to ask Yuna twice if she's interested
- Ilya
- you have to guess 5 letter word
- I am terrible
-
Wordle 5/6
⬛⬛⬛🟨⬛
⬛🟨⬛🟨⬛
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- David
-
Wordle 3/6
⬛⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟨🟨⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Shane
-
Wordle 3/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟨⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 2/6
⬛🟨🟨⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Ilya
- booo
- not so good huh?
- did not get it in one
- Yuna
- You might be tied for my favorite son, but you better watch yourself, Rozanov.
- Ilya
- tied??
- Shane
- Tied?!
Hollander Family Deluxe
October 24 4:30 PM
- David
-
Wordle 2/6
🟩🟨🟨⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 3/6
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Shane
-
Wordle 3/6
⬛🟨🟩🟩🟨
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Ilya
-
Wordle X/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
- are you fucking kidding me
- LIGHT???
- right. tight. light. night. might. sight. fight.
- english is stupid.
- Yuna
- Better luck next time!
- Ilya
- she is... what is the word
- like an animal
- goat or something
- Shane
- Gloating?
- Ilya
- yes! gloating!
- David
- Never start a land war in Asia.
- Never start a word game war with Yuna.
Hollander Family Deluxe
Jan 31 2:32 PM
- David
-
Wordle 4/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 2/6
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Shane
-
Wordle 3/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟨🟨⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Ilya
- you guys will say I am lying but.
-
Wordle 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- AHAHAHA
- I LOVE ENGLISH!
- Shane
- No fucking way.
- Yuna
- Do we believe this guy?
- Ilya
- I pick random word every time. stars aligned
- Yuna
- You got me this time. But only this time.
- Ilya
- all I need
- ;)
Hollander Family Deluxe
March 12 2:10 PM
- David
-
Wordle 4/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 3/6
🟩⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟨⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Hollander Family Deluxe
March 28 9:43 AM
Wordle 5/6
🟨🟨⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨🟨⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩⬛🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- David
-
Wordle 4/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 3/6
🟩⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟨⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Hollander Family Deluxe
March 28 9:43 AM
Wordle 5/6
🟨🟨⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨🟨⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩⬛🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- David
-
Wordle 4/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 3/6
🟩⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟨⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Hollander Family Deluxe
March 28 9:43 AM
Wordle
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- David
-
Wordle 4/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 3/6
🟩⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟨⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Hollander Family Deluxe
March 28 9:43 AM
Wordle 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- David
-
Wordle 4/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Yuna
-
Wordle 3/6
🟩⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟨⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Ilya
-
Wordle 1/6
;)🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- Shane
- Again?
- Yuna
- Ok, now he's really lying this time.
- Ilya
- never!!
- David
- Watch yourself, Yuna doesn't take too kindly to cheaters.
- Ilya
- ok fine.
-
Wordle 5/6
🟨🟨⬛⬛🟨
🟩⬛🟨🟨⬛
🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩
🟩⬛🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
- spoiling my fun
- I just like giving Yuna small heart attack
- Shane
- Did you actually get it on 1 before?
- Yuna
- I had him show me in person
- I could barely believe it!
- Shane
- Oh my god, Mom, really?
- Ilya
- yes, my lawyers were there to confirm
- Yuna
- This is serious business.
- Shane
- You guys are exhausting. It's a word game!
- Yuna
- A serious word game!
- Shane
- I think you need an intervention.
Hollander Family Deluxe
March 28 9:43 AM
Chapter End Notes
thank you for reading and I'll say it every time - thank you for your lovely comments!
out of curiosity - how did you guys find this fic? (through the team meeting series, ao3 filters, direct link from social media, etc). I'm not really on the social media side of the fandom so very interested!
Chapter 4: Ilya requests $5
Chapter Summary
Ilya tests out a nifty iMessage feature.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
- Ilya
-
$5 Request
Pay
- Shane
- What do you need $5 for?
- Ilya
-
$10 Request
Pay
- Shane
- Ok, what do you need $10 for?
- Did they finally kick you off the team for being such an asshole?
- Ilya
-
$1,000 Request
Pay
- Shane
- I can't imagine the Centaurs have hit their salary cap yet.
- Ilya
-
$10,000 Request
Pay
- it won't let me request more than this, boo
- Shane
- You haven't spent that Boston salary you used to get, have you?
- Ilya
- what is the point of having rich famous beautiful hockey player boyfriend if he will not send me money?
- Shane
- I was thinking the exact same thing.
Ilya
December 3 10:40 AM
- Ilya
-
$5 Request
Pay
- Yuna
- Do you need $5?
- David
- $5
- Ilya
- Thank you Mr. Hollander :)
- Shane
- Were you going to ask what that was for, Dad?
- David
- Nah. Let the boy get a McGriddle or whatever he wants. Only off the value menu, though.
- Ilya
- loyalty test won by David Hollander
Hollander Family Deluxe
December 3 10:43 AM
- David
- Ha ha, I just got your envelope Ilya. Didn't have to, but I appreciate it.
- Shane
- Uh oh, what's Ilya sending you through the mail?
- David
- A nice, crisp $5 bill.
- Love it!
- Ilya
- :)
Hollander Family Deluxe
December 8 3:22 PM
- Shane
- Ok, I admit it. That was sweet.
- Ilya
- what did I do this time?
- Shane
- Repaying my dad with cash. You had to have known he loves crisp bills.
- Ilya
- actually no
- just a guess
- I think, what would Shane and big Shane like? and think of boring things and I am usually right
- Shane
- You like boring.
- Ilya
- maybe. but do not tell Shane Hollander that.
- Shane
- Your dirty little secret is safe with me.
- And one more thing.
- Shane
- $10 Request
- I also take cash.
Ilya
December 8 3:58 PM
Chapter End Notes
what's the point of knowing how to code if you're not going to use your time and energy trying to make your iMessage work skin as accurate as possible?!
if anyone wants the base skin CSS, I used Azdaema's AO3 messaging skin.
Chapter 5: the game is afoot
Chapter Summary
Ilya tries to solve a mystery.
- Ilya
- EMERGENCY
- ok not real emergency
- STOP CALLING ME
- I AM OK
- Shane
- Maybe don't start off with an all caps text with just the word "emergency"?
- Ilya
- I just had nice conversation with your mom though :)
- Shane
- What's your emergency?
- Yuna
- His last snickers bar is missing
- David
- I didn't eat it, I'll tell you that much. I'm a Mars bar guy myself
- Shane
- My eyes rolled back into my brain.
- Ilya
- It is emergency!!! I left it at Shane's for special treat and now it is gone. I wanted to eat it
- Shane
- I can stop by the store and get you some more, if you want.
- David
- I knew we raised a gentleman!
- Ilya
- that is sweet
- but there is still a mystery
- where did my snickers go
- Shane
- You probably ate it and forgot, I'd guess.
- Ilya
- I remember every candy bar I have ever ate. I did not eat this.
- David
- Back of the pantry? Maybe Yuna ate it.
- Yuna
- You're throwing ME under the bus?
- I didn't eat it either!
- Did Anya get into it?
- Shane
- God, I hope not.
- Ilya
- probably not
- Yuna
- You're sure? Chocolate is bad for dogs.
- Ilya
- yes I know. I say probably not because I put it in the fridge like 2 months ago
- Shane
- …
- Ilya
- what! I checked for empty wrappers around the house
- Shane
- It's REALLY not an emergency, then.
- I'll help you look when I get back to the house.
- David
- It is an emergency if he wanted to eat it. I'm with Ilya.
- Ilya
- THANK YOU!
Hollander Family Deluxe
August 1 10:00 AM
- Ilya
- I still think about her…
- Shane
- Uh
- Ilya
- :(
- Shane
- Who?
- Her?
- Who's 'her' here?
- Ilya
- my snickers….
- Shane
- Shut the fuck up.
- Ilya
- where is she?
- Shane
- Candy bars don't have a gender.
- Ilya
- is she sad I did not eat her?
- Shane
- Ok, fine. I ate it.
- Mystery solved.
- Ilya
- I do not care what you say, I know you did not eat her
- Shane
- I'm not in the business of eating any 'hers' at this point in my life.
- Ilya
- I have a murder on my hands and you do not help me
- Shane
- It's been a week.
- Actually, it's been two months and a week.
- You're a terrible detective.
- Maybe stick with the hockey.
Ilya
August 8 4:31 PM
- Ilya
- my mortal enemies are behind this somehow
- Shane
- I've restocked the fridge for you. All the cold Snickers you could ever want, and more.
- Ilya
- :)
- thank you
- I love you
- Shane
- I love you too.
- Ilya
- you think moose came and broke into your house?
- Shane
- You know what? Sure.
- Ilya
- maybe stupid canadian wolf birds
- my mortal enemies
- they conspire against me
- Shane
- Definitely.
- Thirteen loons in a trench coat.
- Ilya
- I knew it
Ilya
August 12 8:12 PM
- Shane
- Jackie's inviting us over for dinner again. Are you free next Friday?
- Ilya
- Hayden Pike will not be there?
- Shane
- Yes, Hayden will be there.
- Ilya
- what if I want to be with everyone but hayden?
- unfortunately he makes cute children
- Shane
- Hayden's just part of the deal, I'm afraid.
- I haven't seen them since July so I'd like to get over there soon.
- Ilya
- yes, I am free
- tell him I will kidnap his children
- wait
- Shane
- What?
- Ilya
- Hayden Pike.
- Shane
- Yes…?
- Ilya
- my murderer.
- Shane
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- Ilya
- my snickers murderer.
- you just reminded me
- he was over at your house in July, yes?
- Shane
- Yeah.
- You think he ate it?
- Ilya
- I think you said "take anything you want from fridge" and he stole and murdered my candy bar
- he is evil, evil person
- Shane
- Take it up with him.
- Ilya
- death penalty
Ilya
September 3 9:19 PM
- Shane
- Candy mystery solved!
- David
- I'm at the edge of my seat.
- Yuna ate it, didn't she?
- Yuna
- Hey!
- Ilya
- the Pike twins stole it when they came to Shane's back in July
- Yuna
- Very sneaky!
- Ilya
- I am so proud.
- Shane
- They kept giggling while Bad Cop Ilya was questioning them. Good Cop Ilya proceeded to give them both another Snickers.
- Ilya
- so what? they are cutest candy bar murderers ever
Hollander Family Deluxe
September 18 5:44 PM
Afterword
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