Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories:

Gen, M/M

Fandoms:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Cliff Marlow

Additional Tags:

Texting, Texting Fic, Crack, Humor, Not Canon Compliant, whatever the fanfic equivalent of a shitpost is, Group Chats, WAGs, Timeline What Timeline, WAG Shane Hollander

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of team meeting!

Stats:

Published: 2025-12-21 Completed: 2025-12-25 Words: 1,967 Chapters: 4/4

Jane has been added to the conversation.

Summary

a Shane Boston WAGs companion fic to the very wonderful please leave a message.

or: Shane is decidedly not one of the girls.

Notes

much love to the wonderful Ravenesta. just thought it'd be funny to see the Shane version.

please check out the awesome podfic version and drop some love!

• Inspired by please leave a message by subcorax

Chapter 1

Chapter Notes

Marlow

Today, 1:29

Marlow

hey

whats janes number?

carolinas asking

Jane

why?

Marlow

she wants to add her to the wags chat

Jane

what is 'wags'? like a dog?

Marlow

wives and girlfriends

Jane

ohh

yes I will send

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 2:15 PM

Carolina added Jane to the conversation

Carolina

Hi Jane! This is Carolina. Welcome!

Alexis

hi! this is alexis :)

Olivia

welcome Jane! I'm Olivia!

Carly

hello ilya's gf hows it hangin??

Jane left the conversation

Lily

Today 2:17 PM

Jane

Hey, so what the fuck?

Lily

what?

Jane

What is this Boston WAGs chat?

Lily

what is 'wags'? like a dog?

Jane

Shut up. You know what I'm talking about

Lily

you are one of the girls

Jane

I literally am not.

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 2:18 PM

Carolina added Jane to the conversation

Carolina

Oops! Seems like you got removed. No worries!

Jane left the conversation

Carolina

Sorry ladies. I don't know what's going on

Lily

Today 2:19 PM

Lily

your name is Jane

you are one of the girls. how many times do I need to say it

Jane

I'm going to kill you

Lily

ok

can you suffocate me?

Lily

What?

Lily

I want you to sit on my face. and suffocate me.

a beautiful way to go

you will have to come soon though

hunter's skills... they are so bad... they may kill me first

Jane

I wish this was a group chat so I could leave this conversation too.

Chapter End Notes

I promise I write serious heated rivalry stuff too!!

Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

a little more, why not?

Marlow

Today 4:23 PM

Marlow

hey man

carolina says u may have sent the wrong number?

jane keeps leaving or getting removed or something

Jane

let me check

oh no

that is her number 100%

tell her to keep trying

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 4:26 PM

Carolina added Jane to the conversation

Carolina

This should be the right number!

Jane, are you getting these?

Alexis

we promise we're not scary!

Carly

we're really not!

Jane left the conversation

Marlow

Today 4:28 PM

Marlow

ur super sure?

shes not having any luck

Jane

her phone can be weird sometimes

keep trying. it will work eventually

Lily

Today 4:28 PM

Jane

FUCKING. STOP.

Lily

what??

Jane

You think I don't know you're behind this?

Lily

I am not in that chat

I would be grateful to be one of the girls

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 4:28 PM

Carolina added Jane to the conversation

Carolina

Sorry for the spam

I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong! Ilya insists this is her number.

Jane

You guys have the wrong number I think.

Sorry.

Jane left the conversation

Lily

Today 4:29 PM

Jane

Oh god

They're going to start calling this number aren't they?

They'll know it's me

Lily

hmm

maybe

that is why you should stay

very suspicious if you leave again

Jane

Fuck you.

What are you telling them?

Lily

I said here is my girlfriend Jane's number

Jane

And that's not it, is it

Lily

maybe I also said add her to the group chat. if there is a glitch, do not worry. just keep trying

;)

Jane

Fuck. You.

Lily

maybe I should tell them to call...

Jane

You wouldn't dare

Lily

what? I want gossip

Marlow

Today 4:30 PM

Jane

one more time. promise. I had her restart her phone.

Marlow

👍

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 4:31 PM

Carolina added Jane to the conversation

Carolina

100th times the charm!!

Jane, are you getting these?

Jane

yes.

Carolina

🎉🎉🎉

Fatima

Yay for Jane!

Jennifer

Congrats on the man, btw. He's smokin 🥵🥵

Carolina

Jennifer!

Jennifer

What? I might be dating Johansson but I'm not blind

Jordan

so true Jen

Alicia

and she should say it!!

Carolina

Jennifer!!!

Lily

Today 4:32 PM

Jane

I stayed

I'm not going to say anything in that chat, ok?

They are talking about you though

Lily

oh?

Jane

They're saying you're hot

Lily

and you said...?

Jane

Nothing!!! I told you I'm not replying

Lily

you are such an unsupportive girlfriend. I am so sad

:,(

^ the comma is my tear

Jane

Asshole.

Lily

:,,(

^ two tears

Jane

I'm muting that chat and you know what?

I'm muting you too

Lily

:,,,(

Jane

Don't fucking say it

Lily

^ three tears

Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

the people yearn for textfic crack

I have no bigger plan for a plot so I'm literally just vibing when I write/post these, we'll see where it goes. also, don't think too hard about logic/timeline, this is #crackfic territory.

Lily

January 2 10:23 PM

Lily

sooo

what have wags been saying

Jane

I don't know

Lily

you are so boring

Jane

They send like, a thousand messages a day

I don't have time to read it all

Lily

not even to see if they are lusting after the gorgeous russian?

Jane

Don't flatter yourself

Lily

imagine: whole team of mes

the moscow rozanovs

Jane

I don't think anyone wants that.

Lily

would be greatest hockey team to ever live

wags would not have to choose. everyone would get their own ilya

Jane

Yeah, good luck being goalie

You wouldn't make it past game 50

Lily

you are wrong

and I would have my wags supporting me

Jane

I'm going to bed

Lily

goodnight

dream of the team of mes

Jane

I won't

Lily

👎

Lily

January 5 8:00 PM

Lily

come onnn

I want to know what wags think of my shot through barretts legs

Jane

I have an idea

Lily

oh?

Jane

Why don't you ask them yourself?

Lily

I give you greatest gift of gossip and you will not return the favor

what do they think of you huh?

Jane

That Jane is quiet

Lily

no. I mean Hollander

Jane

I'm not going to go looking for that

Lily

ugh

👎

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

January 9 11:32 AM

Carolina

Do your guys suck at laundry?

Carly

omg yes

how do you not know that drying on high heat will shrink EVERYTHING?

Hey girls

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

January 9 11:32 AM

Carolina

Do your guys suck at laundry?

Carly

omg yes

how do you not know that drying on high heat will shrink EVERYTHING?

Hey gals

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

January 9 11:32 AM

Carolina

Do your guys suck at laundry?

Carly

omg yes

how do you not know that drying on high heat will shrink EVERYTHING?

Heyyy

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

January 9 11:32 AM

Carolina

Do your guys suck at laundry?

Carly

omg yes

how do you not know that drying on high heat will shrink EVERYTHING?

Speaking of laundry

Lily

January 9 7:54 PM

Jane

I talked to the WAGs today

Lily

omg

yes

finally!

about what

Jane

Wouldn't you like to know?

Lily

oh so let me guess

it will be boring

Jane

Shut up

Lily

you said, did you girls see the newspaper? the dow dropped 100 billion points today!

or whatever that means

Jane

I did not

Lily

🤓

so what did you say then?

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

January 9 11:32 AM

Carolina

Do your guys suck at laundry?

Carly

omg yes

how do you not know that drying on high heat will shrink EVERYTHING?

Jane

Speaking of laundry, sometimes my clothes come out too crunchy?

Carly

ooo I got this

you're probably using too much detergent

Jane

Oh, ok, thank you!

Lily

January 9 7:54 PM

Lily

🤓

so what did you say then?

Jane

That's between me and my girls

Lily

BOO

👎👎👎

Chapter End Notes

thank you all for your wonderful comments! I promise I see them <3

few questions if you wanna reply:
- should I try to change the skin a bit to be a dark-mode iphone screenshot? I don't know if I'm blasting anyone's retinas with the white background lol
- would you guys want to see more textfics outside of this scenario?? more hollanov in non-canon or canon scenarios? just curious about the vibe. I'm having fun with these

Chapter 4

Chapter Notes

merry heated rivalry finale eve to all who celebrate

Ilya

Today 6:43 AM

Shane

Excited to see you

Ilya

me too

good luck

try not to get too hard on the ice tonight

you will need some blood in brain for hockey

Shane

Seriously fuck you.

Montreal is about to wipe the floor with Boston.

Ilya

okie whatever you say sweetie

:P

Ilya

Today 2:07 PM

Shane

I usually ignore the WAGs chat

Ilya

yes yes

lame

Shane

But I saw my name.

So I clicked it.

Ilya

yes yes

tell

me

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 1:59 PM

Jennifer

FUCK THE VOYAGEURS, GO BEARS

🐻🐻🐻

Alicia

Our territory ladies

Hollander better get ready for Boston

Fatima

Tell the guys good luck tonight!!!

🐻🐻🐻

Alexis

Hollander's no match for Rozanov

Carolina

He seems like such a sweetie off the ice though

Yeah for sure

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 2:03 PM

Carolina

He seems like such a sweetie off the ice though

But he and his little team are going down tonight

He's nice but haha yeah definitely go Boston

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 6:03 AM

Carolina

He seems like such a sweetie off the ice though

But he and his little team are going down tonight

Alexis

I'm so hype

Rozy's got us in good hands

Well

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 2:03 PM

Carolina

He seems like such a sweetie off the ice though

But he and his little team are going down tonight

Alexis

I'm so hype

Rozy's got us in good hands

Well

🐻 Boston WAGs 🐻

Today 2:03 PM

Carolina

He seems like such a sweetie off the ice though

But he and his little team are going down tonight

Alexis

I'm so hype

Rozy's got us in good hands

Ilya

Today 2:08 PM

Ilya

and?

Shane

I think they're calling for my head

Ilya

GOOD. Very good. Very very good

Shane

I can't read too much of that

I get it enough from you

Ilya

imagine the things I would say if I was in there

Shane

You're talking big for someone literally sleeping with the enemy.

Ilya

you know what, to stay under radar you should say things like

Hayden Pike is even worse player than he is dinner guest

Shane

How the fuck would "Jane" know that?

Ilya

I have long elaborate backstory for Jane

in my own head

Shane

You do?

Ilya

duh

Shane

You never told me that

Ilya

you do not speak with wags!! no chance to use it

Shane

What's Jane's last name?

Ilya

oh

well

I don't know that

Shane

Wow

So you have an elaborate backstory on how Lily somehow has met Hayden Pike to the point of knowing he's a terrible dinner guest, but she has no last name?

Ilya

shittalking pike in accurate way is higher priority

Shane

Get back to me when Jane's a fully formed individual.

Ilya

Today 4:10 PM

Ilya

so Jane (last name is not important) and I met three years ago in hotel bar in Montreal

Shane

Oh my God. You did have a backstory.

Ilya

shut up

I am telling my story

OUR story

she had such beautiful dark hair and brown eyes and face I could not take my eyes off her. her freckles… to die for

Shane

I'm starting to notice some similarities between us.

Ilya

similarities? you ARE jane, yes? if not, who am I texting??

Shane

Ok, yeah sure.

What was I drinking?

Ilya

ginger ale

Shane

Oh

Ilya

Jane is not big drinker

and she knew nothing about hockey

Shane

Is that right?

I remember I knew quite a bit about hockey. Maybe even more than you.

Ilya

no no she was like this sport, it is so magical, I bet you are best player that ever lived.

also wow, you are so sexy, will you have sex with me?

and immediately gives room number.

what could a man do? she was begging

Shane

Right, of course.

Ilya

Anyway. Jane is graduate student at McGill. she knew Jackie Pike in university.

and Jane has babysat for Pike children

so she cannot talk too much shit about Montreal

and why she knows Hayden Pike is terrible dinner guest

Shane

I'm shocked.

You have an answer to everything.

Ilya

except for why Jane does not come to Montreal games

Shane

Well, she might not be able to get in.

Ilya

why?

Shane

No last name.

Can't buy tickets to anything.

Ilya

you are sometimes funny

Shane

Can we go back a bit and remind me what exactly we got up to after I gave you my hotel room number?

Ilya

Jane!

that is scandalous

but, since you begged

;)

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