Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike, Jackie Pike

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Shane Hollander Needs a Hug, Soft Ilya Rozanov, POV Shane Hollander, POV Ilya Rozanov, POV Outsider, Social Media, Post-Break Up, Getting Back Together, Exes, News Media, Supportive Hayden Pike, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Hopeful Ending, Happy Ending, Secret Relationship, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, eventually, Relationship Reveal, Ottawa Centaurs Player Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Player Shane Hollander, Also eventually, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, TikTok, Multimedia, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Relationship Timeline Reveal

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-21 Completed: 2026-03-24 Words: 11,312 Chapters: 3/3

Coming This Fall

Summary

Ilya Rozanov has watched the gay soccer television show four times.

Every time he gets to the end of episode six, he loops right back around to the first episode again. Would you like to start from the beginning? His TV mocks him with the request. Every time he sees it, he tells himself he won't watch again. But he does.

Again, again, again, again.

It is not helping.

Shane and Ilya end their relationship during the 2017 All-Star Game. Years pass with no contact off the ice.

When a new TV show premieres, following two queer professional soccer players in a years-long secret relationship, the show's success creates a ripple effect through the sports world, leaving both Shane and Ilya wondering about what might have been.

Or: Is this f*cking play about us?

Chapter 1: And They Were Teammates

Chapter Notes

to my fellow HR-loving friend who texted me this idea months ago: this is not exactly what you asked for and I know how much you hate any hint of Shane/Ilya breaking up, but you put the coins in the fic-machine and this is what came out. ily <3

COMING THIS FALL TO ASPIRE TV: AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES
Aspire TV has announced the premiere date for AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES, a new limited series based on the critically acclaimed romantic drama by Amanda Ashley. Created by award-winning writer, director, and producer Daniel Gonzalez, AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES follows soccer teammates Jeremy Prince and Felix Arroyo whose secret and highly-emotional relationship leads to repercussions on and off the field. The project has also received financial backing from Abby Wambach.

Portrayed by Salomón Martinez and Jamie Morgan, Felix and Jeremy are two of the biggest names in US Soccer. When Felix is traded to the Los Angeles Legion, the two begin a complicated, secret relationship spanning several seasons. What starts as a casual encounter between two young teammates turns into a spanning, tangled love story. When their secret is threatened, Felix and Jeremy are forced to find out if the sport they love will still love them in return.

AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES will premiere this August, only on Aspire TV.

INSTAGRAM POST

Comments:

@bluebelle124: omg this is insane!!!!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

@brianhmartin: gross

@gaysports55: FINALLY!!!! GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT

@flyingbanjo: why does everything have to be political? news flash: no one cares if you're gay. just play soccer.

@ari000: I AM UNWELL

@patinfl09: the book was soooooo good!!!!! I can't wait to see it on the screen

@wanta_fanta_25: omg @salmartinez and @jmorg are SO HOT 🔥

@professionalpingpongplayer: this is someone's real life rn

'AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES' SECURES INTERNATIONAL STREAMING RIGHTS, BREAKS STREAMING RECORDS IN FIRST WEEK ON ASPIRE TV

HIT SHOW 'AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES' BECAME A TV PHENOMENON. CAN IT CHANGE MALE SPORTS CULTURE?

'AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES' STAR SALOMÓN MARTINEZ REVEALS HE'S HEARD FROM CLOSETED LGBTQ+ ATHLETES ON INSTAGRAM

AMANDA ASHLEY, AUTHOR OF 'AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES,' GETS "LOVELY ANONYMOUS EMAILS" FROM CLOSETED ATHLETES

To: Amanda Ashley <amanda@amandaashley.com>
From: Anonymous Hockey Player <hockeyplayer01@gmail.com>
Subject: Your Book

Ms Ashley,

I want to thank you for writing this book. It may not seem like much to some people, but to me it means everything. This is not my real name, but I am professional hockey player in NHL. I have read this book three times now.

I like ending, when Felix and Jeremy come out into sun.

I had this once with someone. Another NHL player. We are not together anymore, it was too hard. Too many things in the way. One day…it would be nice to have again. Your book made me feel hope for first time in a long time.

This means more than you know.

Thank you,

Anonymous Hockey Player & Big Fan

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT: Author Amanda Ashley on the Futbol is Life Podcast

HOST: Is it true that you've been contacted by professional athletes, who wish to remain anonymous, sharing their stories of being closeted?

AMANDA ASHLEY: Yes, that is true. I've gotten a few anonymous emails and personal messages from closeted professional athletes who are currently competing at a high level thanking me for this book.

HOST: Wow…that's wild to hear. What do you say to people who argue that there aren't any queer athletes playing professionally? Or those who say we need to leave politics out of sports?

AMANDA ASHLEY: Okay, well, yeah, first of all, I think it's a shame we've reduced who someone is and who they love into politics. Of course it is political, especially in today's climate, but to say that's all it is feels reductive and one-dimensional. It would be an insane statistical anomaly if there had never been any queer athletes in some of these sports.

HOST: Right, definitely.

AMANDA ASHLEY: So yes, I've gotten messages from players. At the end of the day, their identities don't matter. Their specific sports or teams don't matter. What matters is, we all play a part in making sports—especially men's sports—a safe, welcoming place for everyone, regardless of their identity or who they love.

Shane Hollander does not mean to press play on the new gay soccer TV show.

That is how everyone is referring to it. A nebulous, one-word description—newgaysoccertvshow. They half-whisper it in a rush with nervous voices. Part scandalized, part amused. Everyone is excited about the show; everyone is heralding it as progress.

But the show and its popularity only makes Shane feel like he is on display, like he's something other.

Something wrong.

(All this progress and it only ever feels like regression. The more people care about his sexuality, the worse he feels; he would prefer to be ignored. These polar opposite ends—disgust and fascination—haunt him, keep him in chains, bind his heart to loneliness.)

It can't just be a television show about soccer that happens to feature two men who happen to be in love. No, it must be that gay soccer show. The sex scenes must be hot and taboo and the only part of the show people want to discuss on the late night talk shows. It must cause the rabid public to tear apart the two leads' digital footprints to discover clues about their sexualities.

The show has lead to a witch hunt.

TikTok editors mashing together emotional songs and clips from games, twisting teammates into lovers through careful camera work and quick cuts. Shane hates it; he hates the way it leaves him feeling exposed. He feels more sure now than ever that someone is going to see right through him, straight into his heart.

His heart which is—presently, always—broken.

So no, he does not mean to press play on the show he's been complaining about for the past few weeks. But it is late and he can't sleep and the show's thumbnail taunts him from his home screen.

He watches.

He feels sick.

[Edited video of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, background song 'Out of the Woods' by Taylor Swift]

Posted by: @hollanov_4_life
Caption: you'll never convince me there wasn't something going on between those two during the 2017 all-star game!!!!! #hollanov #shanehollander #ilyarozanov #shaneandilya #fyp @nhl

Comments:

@hollanovtruther1234: I STILL BELIEVE

@nhlguy24: what the fuck is this

@hit_me_baby_one_more_time: i'm employed, what's going on here?

@chronicbiscuit_1: say it with me…SHAYDEN is the superior ship here

@divaaaaa: why are we still shipping REAL PEOPLE have we learned nothing

Ilya Rozanov has watched the gay soccer television show four times.

Every time he gets to the end of episode six, he loops right back around to the first episode again. Would you like to start from the beginning? His TV mocks him with the request. Every time he sees it, he tells himself he won't watch again. But he does.

Again, again, again, again.

It is not helping.

For three years, he has not seen Shane Hollander off the ice.

For three years, he has kept up appearances during games.

For three years, he has acted like he does not love Shane.

It is killing him.

His feelings for Shane, which had been long-dead and deeply repressed, have been stirred back to life by this show. This show, which feels like a portal to another life. The sport is different, obviously, and so are the circumstances. But it feels exactly the same.

The prying eyes. The latent, almost-casual homophobia. The locker rooms. The competition. The dating a woman and trying to pretend it's something real.

But there is a point of divergence. One of the soccer players, Felix, makes his grand, public confession. He kisses Jeremy on the field in front of everyone after a winning goal. They get their happy ending.

Felix is brave in all of the ways Ilya never was. Never could have been.

(And Jeremy lets him be brave. Jeremy welcomes the kiss, does not flinch away, does not glare at the onslaught of affection. That is something, too.)

Ilya watches the show and it reminds him of a time when he'd been hopeful. He knows better now. Hope is such a foolish thing that only leads to broken hearts.

The credits roll.

Ilya scrolls back to episode one and starts again.

"Have you ever thought about it?" Hayden asks the following Friday night over dinner.

Jackie is cooking again, something with quinoa and greens made especially for Shane. The kids play in the backyard, screaming with such vigor that Shane can't tell if they're having fun or feeling excruciating pain.

Shane watches them run and pretends there is not an ache every time he is surrounded by a loving family.

"Thought about what?" he says. The truth: he has not been fully engaged in the conversation. Jackie brought up the show and Shane's mind instantly went elsewhere.

To the All-Star Game where everything fell apart.

To the years of silence since.

To the look on Ilya's face every time their teams play each other, the one he is pretending not to wear. The one Shane pretends not to notice.

"You know," Hayden says, looking to the side. He rubs the back of his neck, nervous. "Coming out?"

Shane is out to his parents. To Jackie and Hayden, and a few other trusted teammates. He'd been brave enough for that. It's not much—it is just enough to give him room to breathe. Just enough to ease the pain in his lungs, like the loosening of a rope tied around his chest.

The rope has been getting tighter lately. Still, even now, it is getting harder and harder to take a full breath.

He is trying. (Drowning.)

Shane looks down at his hands, clenches his fists together so his hands don't shake. If he were a fighter, he might have swung. He is not. He does not. None of this Hayden's fault. Instead, Shane relaxes his hands and looks back at Hayden, letting his gaze rest just above his shoulder instead of looking his friend directly in the eye.

"No," Shane says. "I haven't."

This is a lie.

A lie, a lie, a lie.

There once was a time when he'd thought about it. A time when he had something—someone—worth coming out for. He does not have this. Not anymore.

But he can't tell Hayden that. Some secrets are closely guarded even here, even now, even with Hayden who knows almost everything about him. Everything except for this.

"Maybe you could, now," Hayden suggests, gently. "Everyone's talking about this new show and, I don't know, man, it seems like it's changing things a little."

Shane shrugs. "Yeah, maybe."

This dismissal slips through his lips because he does not feel like having the argument. He does not feel like explaining to Hayden—who means well, but who does not understand—how little interest he has in being an icon. A symbol of something.

All he ever wanted was to play hockey. Fall in love, maybe, if the cards were right.

Shane is lucky. Both of his wishes came true.

Play hockey. Fall in love.

Nothing lasts forever, but at least he'd had both once.

That would have to be enough.

POST-GAME INTERVIEW WITH ILYA ROZANOV

Ilya stands in front of the step and repeat banner having been selected for the post-game interview. He scored the game-winner against Dallas with six and a half seconds remaining in the third period. Breathing heavily and still wearing most of his gear, he nods at the reporter who's ready to ask the first question.

REPORTER: That one certainly came down to the wire—you never seem to be bothered by any of the pressure. How do you do it?

ROZANOV: [Grinning cockily, he shrugs] Is easy when you are the best.

REPORTER: [Laughter] That's a classic Ilya Rozanov answer right there, I should've known better than to ask a question like that.

ROZANOV: Real answer, Dallas defense left a stupid opening during line change. I got the puck and took shot, no one there to stop me. Not even their goalie, apparently. [Rozanov winks at the camera]

REPORTER: How proud are you of the team as a whole, coming back from a 2-0 deficit in the second period to win the game in regulation?

ROZANOV: Very proud of these guys, we all work hard and it is good to win. Especially when it's Dallas, yes?

REPORTER: One last question, have you been watching the new television show, 'And They Were Teammates'? I wonder what your reaction is to the show's popularity?

ROZANOV: [Rozanov hesitates for longer than usual, freezing slightly at the question. He seems to shake it off quickly, and answers.] Ah, sorry, I have not seen show. Maybe world is changing, I think we won't know answer until someone is brave enough to come out. For me, is not a problem—I love all of my teammates.

END OF INTERVIEW

When Ilya closes his eyes, it is three years ago.

He watches the events play out like a ghost, doomed to repeat this small sequence from here to eternity. At night before he falls asleep, when the sun shines too brightly in his face, every time he blinks—the inside of his eyelids plays the scene on a loop.

Doomed. He is doomed and it feels right. Feels like a punishment he's earned. Alone, he built the walls of his own enclosure. Now, he lives there, trapped and spinning out for the rest of his life. Forced to remember what might have been, once.

Come to the cottage, Shane says. Ilya pretends to be unaffected, pretends this request does not penetrate straight into the deepest, most carefully guarded parts of his heart.

No, Ilya says.

One word is enough to break Shane's heart. Ilya knows Shane's heart well enough to see it breaking, like an x-ray, Ilya can see straight through him. He hates doing it, hates breaking Shane's heart over and over and over. Hates getting both their hopes up knowing the impossibility of it all, of everything.

What hope is there for either of them? They cannot be together, not in any real way. Not in a way that matters. Not anything more than stolen moments and back doors and toes tapped underneath covered tables.

What they can have is nothing close to the thing Ilya wants.

Love, that's what this is. Ilya can admit it to himself now. This is love. It has been for a long time. Always, maybe. Maybe always and maybe for always—maybe this thing will have no end. For him, anyway.

He hopes it is not too late for Shane. He hopes Shane can find someone else. Someone better. Someone who can give him everything he deserves—a public life, a family, openness, room to breathe. Holding hands and trips to the grocery store and kind in-laws and scheduled date nights to the movies. Ilya hopes. Since he can't give Shane this life, he will have to force him to find it for himself. He can give Shane this small mercy and set him free.

So he does.

I can't do this anymore, he says, keeping his eyes off Shane. Building back brick walls and shutting away his feelings. Ilya retreats.

This too is love.

Lily: Hi

Jane: Hey

Lily: You have seen the show?

Jane: Yes.

Lily: Yes

Jane: Three years of nothing and you want to talk about a TV show?

Lily: Yes

Shane's phone rings five minutes later.

He stares at it, at the caller ID that hasn't flashed across his screen in three years. Not since–

The phone keeps ringing.

He thinks about ignoring it. What good would it do to open old wounds?

But the ache in his chest feels stronger than ever. It pulls him. Toward what, he does not know. It can't be worse than this. Nothing could be worse than this. Not even reopened, old wounds. Maybe if he allows his scars to split open again, they will heal correctly this time.

Shane answers the phone.

"Shane," Ilya says immediately. It is a sigh of relief—a hapless, shuddering breath.

Shane winces. "Ilya."

His name comes out like a prayer. All this time gone, and Shane is still a disciple. From his first whispered response through the phone, this much is obvious.

"Do you feel like…" Ilya's voice trails off.

Shane tries to fill in the blanks. "Like everyone can see right through you?"

Ilya sighs again. "Yes. This."

"Yes," Shane says. "Yes."

Shane thinks he should start a fight. He should push Ilya, ask why he is calling; why now after so many years of painful silence. But he does not need to ask, because he already knows the answer.

Two days later, Montreal plays Boston again.

Ilya and Shane are both on the ice when Montreal gets called for icing. There is a TV timeout, music starts playing. It is the song from the show, Ilya knows it well by now.

Ilya pretends not to recognize the song.

He pretends not to flinch.

He pretends not to glance at Shane, to see if recognition lands on his face.

(He is pretending at so many things lately he does not know what is real anymore.)

The jumbotron flashes to two girls holding a sparkling poster that reads, "KISS!"

Ilya skates past Shane, nods at the screen. "We should?"

"Asshole," Shane whispers, but the corner of his mouth twitches like it wants to smile.

It is not anything. Not really.

So why does it feel like an open door?

The next day, Shane calls his publicist. They start drafting a statement.

[Instagram Post by @shanehollander. Slide one: Picture of him celebrating a goal. Slide two: Childhood hockey portrait of Shane, age 8.]

Caption: The only thing I've ever wanted to do in my life is play hockey. Ever since I was a kid, this has been my dream. And over the years, I've let hockey become the most important thing in my life. The only thing in my life. But recently, I've been thinking about what that means, and what I'm willing to continue to give up in pursuit of my dream.

Here's what I'm trying to say: I'm gay. I have been all this time. When you were buying my jersey and watching me win the Stanley Cup. I told myself it didn't matter, that I should keep my head down and play hockey. But hiding takes something from you. And I don't want to keep losing things in my life.

I want to thank the creators of @andtheywereroomatesTV and @AuthorAmandaAshley for showing me the way forward. This decision comes from my heart, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't sparked by watching the success of this show. I know the only way to make hockey a better place for all athletes is to be a part of the change. So this is me changing.

I'm still the same hockey player I always was. The most important thing to me is still winning, especially as part of the @MontrealVoyageurs. Thank you to my friends, family members, and teammates who have supported me all these years privately and, now, publicly. And thank you to the Voyageurs fans, I hope you will continue to accept me as your captain.

And to the other kids playing hockey right now who are worried they won't have a place in the sport because of who they are, or who they love. If I can do it, so can you. I wish you all the best.

Thank you.

Comments:

@hayden_pike: FUCK YES THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND, I love you.

@hollanovtruther1234: So you're saying there's a chance…..

@roselandry: love you sm <3

@voyageursfan4life: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN!!!!! PLAN THE (PRIDE) PARADE!!!!!! And while we're at it let's get another Cup win, yeah?

@username159872: fucking disgusting

@youcanplayteam: YES! This is what it's all about! 🏳️‍🌈

Someone is knocking on his door.

Shane almost ignores it. It can't be anything good, not this late at night. He's not expecting anyone.

(Except, isn't he? Doesn't he know, or at least hope he knows, who it will be? Didn't he share his fucking coming out post on the day after Boston's elimination from playoffs for a very specific reason?)

The post has been up for twenty-four hours. Mostly positive responses, a few negative comments. To be expected. Shane pretends not to care, which is mostly the truth. He does not care about the comments, he does not care how many people have reposted it to their stories, he does not care about the number of likes.

He cares about one like. It came in last night—or this morning—at 1:25 a.m.

The notification: @ilya_rozanov liked your post

Shane waited for a comment, or a text message, or another phone call. They never came.

So yes, he knows who is at the door.

(He hopes, he hopes, he hopes.)

The walk to his front door feels like the longest of his life. Feet moving like he's stuck in wet cement, heavy and weighed-down with fear. Shane has spent his whole life afraid. He does not want to live in fear any more.

The knocking starts up again, insistent. It echoes through his too-big, lonely halls. Now Shane can confirm his suspicions. He knows exactly who is on the other side.

When he opens the door, Ilya is there. Of course he is.

Hair a mess, dark circles under his eyes, slouchy sweats and a T-shirt—Ilya still looks breathtakingly beautiful, as always.

It's a five-hour drive, give or take, from Boston to Montreal. Shane knows because he's put the coordinates into his phone dozens of times, wondering how long it would take him to drive straight to Ilya and apologize. For what, he's not sure. Anything to ease the aching scars in his chest that haven't healed over, even after all this time.

"Hi," Ilya says, nervous. Shane can tell he's nervous by the way he stands, very un-Ilya like, slouching and folded in on himself.

"Hi," Shane replies, widening the door. "Come in."

Ilya is at his front door. Shane realizes, with a lurch, he doesn't mind at all. Doesn't care anymore if anyone sees, finds out what they are to each other (what are they to each other?).

It's something.

The feeling starts to kick up again: hope, hope, hope.

To be completely honest, Ilya hadn't expected Shane to answer the door. He definitely hadn't expected Shane to immediately, without hesitation, open it wide and invite him in. So he has not planned what he's going to say next.

He's arrived here, in part, because of an out-of-body experience. Because he saw the Instagram post and couldn't stop thinking about it. Couldn't sleep all night, couldn't focus all day, couldn't do anything—especially in this fucking off season break with no practice to distract him. So Ilya grabbed his keys and started to drive and ended up here, at Shane's front door.

"Do you want something to drink? Or, I don't know, eat?" Shane asks, ever the polite Canadian host.

Ilya steps out of his shoes, leaving them in a haphazard pile by the front door. "Water."

Water, he says. This is not what he wants to say, not even anything close.

Shane has already been very brave. Ilya doesn't want to ask more from him. So he starts to talk. "I saw your post," he says, sitting on a bar stool at Shane's kitchen counter. "I'm…happy for you. And I want to know why."

"Why?" Shane mumbles as he places a ice-cold glass of water in front of him. Ilya feels like a child. "I think you know why."

"Yes, but…" Ilya knows he is being so selfish. "I need to hear you say it."

Shane huffs a laugh. It's half-genuine, half-sarcastic—Ilya would know, he has memorized all of Shane's mannerisms. Even now, he can tell.

Looking at the ceiling, not looking at Ilya, Shane sighs. "I'm tired of losing everything I care about because I'm too afraid."

"Not everything," Ilya argues, old habits. "You have hockey. Family. Hayden and Jackie, yes?"

Finally, finally, Shane looks at him. His gaze is piercing, loaded and heavy. "Everything," he says again.

A kitchen counter separates them. It seems suddenly cumbersome. Ilya wants to crawl over it, bulldoze it down so it's no longer in the way.

He stands, moving slowly toward Shane like he's a stray dog that might be frightened away. "What if we try again?"

Now it is Ilya's turn to be brave. He is trying so hard. It is so scary. He does not want to lose Shane again. Ilya takes another step closer, backing Shane against his counter tops. There is a foot of distance left between them.

"I don't want to go back to the way things were," Shane whispers.

Ilya takes another incremental step. Half a foot remaining. "No."

"So what then?"

Ilya reaches out, hesitating before he allows his hands to touch Shane's hips. The familiar touch feels like coming home, like his hands were made to rest exactly here, in the small dip of Shane's bones and strong muscles.

"We could be something?" A question. Ilya is reminded of Shane's words from a few moments earlier, everything. He repeats them. "We could be everything."

"How?" Shane asks, but doesn't stop looking at Ilya. Doesn't push him away.

Ilya closes the remaining distance, their bodies pressed flush together. It feels so right. How had he ever given this up? Was hockey worth this loss? He used to think so. Now, he is not sure.

"Together," Ilya says.

He wants to kiss Shane. Wants to remember how perfectly their mouths fit together too, every part of Shane pliant under his touch. He could have him, he knows. Shane is already willing, already gone.

But that was the way things used to be, too. Communicating with bodies instead of words. Ilya doesn't want that anymore. Or, he doesn't want only that anymore. He wants something real, so he won't kiss Shane until he knows they are both ready.

It is hard to wait.

He does, tension crackling between them.

Shane relents. "Okay, yes, okay. I want that."

"Yes?" Ilya's heart jumps, skipping time. Happiness, that's what this is. It has been a long time since he's felt it.

"Yes," Shane says.

Then their mouths crash together and Ilya's hand finds the back of Shane's neck—soft and supple—and Shane's hands grip Ilya's T-shirt. They kiss and kiss and Ilya tastes salt. He does not know which one of them is crying.

It's something, everything.

They will work on a plan. They will find a way to make this work. Ilya will never let Shane out of his arms again, not for long anyway. Not in any way that matters.

It's late at night. The world is changing and has already changed. Somewhere in Montreal, Ilya and Shane make the decision to try again.

Chapter End Notes

if you happen to like wolfstar and/or wlw leah clearwater...please feel free to peruse my other works! if not consider this my brief toe-dip into the HR fandom, thank you for stopping by <3

Chapter 2: The Rumors Are True

Chapter Summary

one year later...

Chapter Notes

thank you so much to shylaady, ohdanieboi, knuffle, SparkGoddess, residualchaos, and Yeehawindeed for commenting on the first chapter and encouraging a second installment!

what started as a clear cut one-shot will be three chapters (I think) because of you, so thank you!! <333

it was so fun to keep writing in this world. I thought I had 0 ideas for how things would continue to unfold, but here we are.

anyway! I hope you enjoy!!

ILYA ROZANOV SIGNS FOUR-YEAR, $50 MILLION CONTRACT WITH OTTAWA CENTAURS
July 14, 2021

Ilya Rozanov signed a four-year, $50 million contract with the Ottawa Centaurs on Tuesday. The 30-year-old center, who was Boston Bears captain since 2013-14, was selected by Boston with the No.1 pick in the 2009 NHL Draft.

The decision not to re-sign with Boston comes as a surprise after Rozanov led the team to three Stanley Cup finals in 2014, 2019, and 2021. The team won in 2014 and 2021, losing the 2019 matchup to Winnipeg.

Russian-born Rozanov entered free agency after playing with Boston for twelve seasons. In 2020-21, Rozanov had a 116 point season (41 goals, 75 assists). With Ottawa failing to make the playoffs for eight straight seasons, the move immediately sparked speculation about tension between Rozanov and Boston's front office.

On Tuesday evening, Rozanov shared an Instagram post with a statement, saying, "Thank you to the Boston Bears and the people of Boston for twelve amazing seasons together. To my teammates, coaching staff, and fans, I would not be the hockey player I am today without your support. I look forward to joining the Ottawa Centaurs, where I will face new challenges. My heart will always be in both places—Canada and Boston. Forever your captain, Ilya."

The Bears organization also released a statement thanking Rozanov for time with the organization and wishing him well on his new team.

Still, the move has shaken the hockey world and begs the question—could the Centaurs rebuild into a playoff contender with Rozanov as the center? Only time will tell.

Comments on @ilya_rozanov's Instagram Post:

@bears_4_life: FUCK what are we going to do without Rozy 😭😭😭

@hollanovtruther1234: OMG Montreal is only two hours from Ottawa you guys 👀 IT'S HAPPENING!!!!

@IlyaRozanovFan: too many concussions??? what is this??? what is he thinking?

@ottawacentaurs: Let's gooooo!!!!! Welcome to Ottawa!

@user9471938472: nobody talk to me i'm in mourning

@RJones9: Come back the kids miss you already

@hockeylover: only a fucking moron would sign in Ottawa at this point you have to be joking

@retired-golfer-11: What a loser

"You what?" Shane says into the phone, all but certain he's misheard his boyfriend's statement.

There is a long silence from the other end of the line. "I signed with new team," he pauses. Then, "Ottawa."

Shane puts the call on speaker and pulls up the ESPN app on his phone. Half-convinced Ilya is joking, he scrolls straight to the NHL headlines. And there it is. Shane blinks, but the headline is still there.

ILYA ROZANOV SIGNS FOUR-YEAR, $50 MILLION CONTRACT WITH OTTAWA CENTAURS

"Why?" Shane blurts out without meaning to, the shock overwhelming him. Fucking Ottawa? He knows Ilya could have picked any team in the league, or continued to play with Boston—it's not like they weren't paying or playing him enough. Why Ottowa?

It has been one year since Ilya knocked on his door. One year since his coming out post brought Ilya back into his life. One year since they decided, tentatively, to give their relationship a real shot. Now, Ilya is his boyfriend.

Boyfriend. The word still feels like a novelty, a small miracle, after years of heartache and pining from afar and convincing himself he could never have this. That Ilya did not want this. Now, Ilya is his boyfriend, and it's become a small pocket of secret joy. He will never get used to this—never get used to being loved by Ilya Rozanov.

They haven't said it yet. Shane thinks they're both too afraid to disrupt what they have—after losing three years, they both still walk on eggshells around each other from time to time. But sometimes, Shane hears Ilya whispering in Russian when he thinks Shane's asleep. He looked up the translation for I love you, and knows.

Ilya will say it when he is ready.

Or maybe Shane will go first, dare bridge that precarious gap in their relationship.

For now he is content to be welcome in Ilya's arms, in Ilya's home, in Ilya's bed. It's enough. Even though they hardly see each other and even though it's hard to keep a secret from most of the world, Shane knows it's worth it.

"Ottawa is close," Ilya says softly. "Closer."

Four words and Shane understands. "Oh."

For the past year, they've danced around the subject. It's been so lovely and special and fragile, having each other back, that Shane has not given much thought to how they'll continue this. They have a few games a year against each other's teams. A few stretches of days off to make the long drive to Boston or Montreal or somewhere in between. A few weeks of off season at Shane's cottage by the lake.

An unspoken desire for more: more time, always more time. And for a future that neither of them have been able to imagine.

Until now.

"Yes," Ilya says. "You see."

He does.

Because of this affection, Shane risks speaking the words out loud—the ones he so often keeps locked inside. "I miss you," he says, cringing at his own vulnerability.

"I miss you too," Ilya grants him reprieve from his embarrassment. "See you in two days."

They will spend the summer together. Maybe Shane will find the courage to ask for what he wants, now that Ilya has taken the first step.

It happens three days later, at the cottage. They watch the sunrise and the words slip out, as if it was unintentional.

"I'm in love with you," Ilya whispers, staring at the sun dipping over the horizon, streaking the sky orange and red, bleeding into blue.

"Oh, thank God," Shane smiles back. "I love you, too."

'AND THEY WERE TEAMMATES' SEASON 2 PREMIERE SET FOR OCTOBER, MONTREAL'S SHANE HOLLANDER TO MAKE GUEST APPEARANCE

HOCKEY PLAYERS SHANE HOLLANDER AND ILYA ROZANOV LAUNCH IRINA FOUNDATION, FOCUSING ON MENTAL HEALTH, DIVERSITY IN SPORTS

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: ILYA ROZANOV AND SHANE HOLLANDER ON MENTAL HEALTH, ALLYSHIP, LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION IN SPORTS, AND LONG-TIME FRIENDSHIP BEHIND STORIED RIVALRY

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT: Montreal Captain Shane Hollander on the Futbol is Life Podcast
November 8, 2021

HOST: Following the success of season one of And They Were Teammates, you made the decision to come out publicly. Can you share more about your thought process behind that choice?

HOLLANDER: Yeah, sure. I guess I felt like there were two parts of my life: the hockey part and everything else. Which was great for a long time. But then the show came out and it really resonated with me, you know? It made me think—for the first time—that I didn't have to keep my life in separate containers. I could just…be me.

HOST: What was the reaction like, from your perspective?

HOLLANDER: Mostly really positive! A few of my teammates already knew, so they helped set the tone I think. Of course there is a lot of noise on social media, but I mostly ignore it. So yeah, mostly really positive. I was surprised.

HOST: The NHL is pretty notorious as one of the most conservative professional sports leagues. You were the first professional player in history to come out—did that factor into your decision at all? I can't imagine that was easy.

HOLLANDER: [Long pause] I definitely did not want to be, you know, a symbol of anything. I just wanted to play hockey. It's all I've ever wanted, really. That kept me in the closet, I guess, for a long time. But someone had to be the first and I'm glad it was me.

HOST: It helps that you're consistently one of the top scorers in the league, I'd imagine, and that you've got three Stanley Cups with your team. Kind of hard to get rid of you at this point.

HOLLANDER: Ha, yeah. But really, I've been surprised at the amount of support—on and off the ice. We still have a long way to go in terms of acceptance for everyone in hockey, but I think the support is there generally. It's about finding a way to connect the support to action and make a difference for younger players.

HOST: Perfect segue, because I'd love to talk more about your work with the Irina Foundation and Ilya Rozanov. I have to admit, I'm not the biggest hockey fan, but even I know that your collaboration was shocking. Maybe even more shocking than you coming out! [Laughter] So how did you connect with Ilya in the first place? When did you two become friends and then partners?

HOLLANDER: Er…right, well. Our rivalry was mostly overblown by the media. We have always shared great respect for one another as players. And of course we've done a lot of media and events together over the years, developing our friendship. After I, you know, came out, Rozanov approached me about doing something positive to make the sport more welcoming for everyone.

HOST: I have to point out the obvious…you speak mostly positively about the reception you've received from the NHL, but your foundation clearly focuses on making access and acceptance more widely available, especially when it comes to LGBTQ athletes. So…there must have been some backlash? Is that something you're willing to share at all, maybe to let others who might be experiencing the same thing.

HOLLANDER: Oh, well, I try to focus on the positive. It's not always easy, especially being the first one. I just hope one day it's unremarkable when a player of any sport comes out. That's all I can ask for.

TIKTOK VIDEO:

[Photos of Shane Hollander using Pride tape on his stick during warmups]

I just want to say, I'm part of the LGBTQ community and this is my best friend, Valentina. She's an ally!

[Photos of Ilya Rozanov, also using Pride tape]

Talk Valentina! Ally!

Comments:

@centaursrule: YES our woke king ilya rozanov (tell me five years ago I'd be typing THOSE words)

@username10957: ALLYYYYYY!!!! ❤️💙💛💜💚

@wetbagel: wtf????

@hollanovtruther1234: anyone who thinks 🌈 ✨Ilya Rozanov 🌈 ✨ is an "ally" has not been paying attention….

@okayyyybye: @hollanovtruther1234 let's not speculate on real peoples' sexualities k thx

@hollanovtruther1234: @okayyyybye: speculate??? let me point you in the direction of his most recent interview where he called Shane Hollander, and I quote, "hockey's second-hottest player"

@okayyyybye: @hollanovtruther1234 fellas is it gay to think your teammate is hot

@okayyyybye: ok when i put it that way…. you might be onto something. still, not our place!

@hollanovtruther1234: @okayyyybye: 🙄

After the Tuesday evening game against Pittsburgh, Shane drives straight to Ilya's place in Ottawa. Ilya and Shane share an unusually long stretch of three and four days off between games respectively. He's been desperate to talk to Ilya all day, but hasn't had the time. Now, as he pulls into his long driveway, Shane feels a palpable sense of relief.

No matter what happens, he always feels this way when he is with Ilya.

There is so much to be grateful for—so much about this relationship that feels miraculous, even now. After all they lost. All of the time spent apart, not speaking, missing each other. The briefest windows of time together still feel worth it. Worth the distance and hiding and furtive glances, even still, stolen in crowded rooms, on the ice, in public.

Shane uses the key he carries on his key ring to open the door. Ilya is already there, waiting for him.

"You're here," he says, smiling. Arms open wide just for Shane.

Shane steps into Ilya's open arms, meets his mouth for a kiss. It feels like coming home.

Later, Shane and Ilya lie in bed. With his fingers, Shane traces invisible lines on Ilya's bare chest.

"I want to talk to you," he says nervously. "I don't think Montreal will re-sign me, after this season."

Ilya stiffens, keeps Shane in his arms. "Why do you think this? They will be crazy to lose you. You are star player."

Shane suppresses a sad smile. "I know. But things are weird, ever since the interview. Today, before the game, the GM pulled me aside and basically said I should…focus on hockey.'"

This is a modified version of events—one he thinks will prevent Ilya from being too angry. The truth is things have been bad for a while, worse than he's letting on. The more Shane tries to be a positive influence, use his platform to do good, the worse things get with the team—in the locker room and front office.

"Ah," Ilya scoffs. "They like you as, what, diversity? For Instagram. But they do not like you talking about it?"

Softly, Shane makes an affirmative noise. They lie together in silence for a long time. Finally, Shane speaks again. "I could…waive my NMC. Request a trade."

Ilya freezes. Shane knows why. All of this moving, careful arrangement of their lives for small windows of time together, could be useless if Shane goes to a new team. Farther away. They would be back at square one, hopeless and missing each other more desperately than they do right now.

So Shane hurries to let the other shoe drop. "…to Ottawa. They have cap space still, even after your contract. And maybe it's too late for a playoff push this season, but maybe not…if we played together."

It takes a long time for Ilya to respond. Shane does not move, does not dare glance up to see his face, afraid of what he might see.

But when Ilya does speak, his voice is reverent. Like a prayer. "You would?"

I would do anything for you, Shane thinks, the idle thought passing through his mind. He nods. "Is that okay?"

Ilya answers, as he tends to do, with his body instead of with words. They lose themselves in each other, tension long-forgotten, promises of a better future left lingering on their lips.

TWITTER POSTS

@ShawnMoselyESPN: Hearing reports that Shane Hollander is a healthy scratch for Montreal tonight for the second game in a row. Slightly confusing decision by the team at this point in the season.

@ShawnMoselyESPN: There have been weeks of chatter about Hollander's position with the team. Starting to seem more credible with the latest developments.

@ShawnMoselyESPN: As the trade deadline approaches, only time will tell what the future holds for Shane and the Metros. Stay tuned for updates.

MONTREAL'S SHANE HOLLANDER TRADED TO OTTAWA IN STUNNING DEADLINE DEAL
March 7, 2021

Shane Hollander was traded to the Ottawa Centaurs on Friday. Montreal received a 2022 first-round draft pick, defense prospect Alexander Markov, and a conditional second-round draft pick for 2023 in the deal.

The 30-year-old center is in the final year of an eight-year, $49 million contract he signed with the Voyageurs in 2013, and can become an unrestricted free agent after this season. The Centaurs will absorb Hollander's existing deal without salary retention, as they have one of the leanest long-term payrolls in the conference and ample cap space.

"We are certainly grateful for Shane's contributions to the team over the past eight years, and this year especially, firmly securing us as a playoff team this season." said Montreal's GM Larry Day in a phone interview on Friday afternoon. "This was a tough one for the whole organization. But ultimately, it came down to the direction of the team and our future. We wish him the best with the Centaurs."

In 2020, Hollander became the first openly gay professional hockey player in the history of the NHL. Since then he has become a quiet advocate for equality and acceptance in sports, co-founding the Irina Foundation with Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov.

The pair's relationship off the ice and undeniable chemistry on the ice—as demonstrated during their success in All-Star match-ups—should be incredible to watch as they transition to playing for the same team.

"We are thrilled to welcome Shane Hollander to the Ottawa Centaurs family," the team said in a statement. "We look forward to seeing him in Centaurs colors very soon!"

Hollander has yet to comment on the trade, formally or informally. He will be available for a press conference tomorrow in his new team's facilities.

The Centaurs make it to the second round of playoffs in their first season with Shane and Ilya sharing a line. It's not the finals—so it's not nearly good enough for Shane, which makes Ilya laugh—but it's something.

More importantly, hockey is fun again in a way it hasn't been in years. Maybe ever. Being with Shane on the ice, at practice, in the locker room—it's more than Ilya ever imagined.

The day after the trade, when Shane moved his things into Ilya's house, he left Shane for "errands" and bought an engagement ring. They still haven't really talked about it, their plans for the future. Now, they are out to their Centaurs teammates. To the coaching staff and management, who needed to know, probably, in case things got out. To friends, family, other queer hockey players who have quietly revealed themselves over the years, a handful of neighbors, and their agents.

But not to the world.

Ilya is ready. He thinks Shane is too—now that they are on, as one teammate called it, "the gayest team in the league," affectionately. Now that they live together, play together, have hope for a future together…well, at long last, Ilya is ready for more.

He brings it up at night, once the lights are turned out so Shane can't see his face. "What is plan now?"

Although he tries to sound casual, his voice betrays him. Or maybe Shane knows him too well. Who knows, anyway, he sits up slightly in bed, turning to face Ilya because he knows it's serious.

Ah well.

"You mean for us?"

"No for Harris," he deadpans, thinking fondly of their team's beloved social media manager. "Yes, for us. For future. What do you want? Long term?"

"Long term, huh?" Shane teases, kissing Ilya's shoulder.

This quiet gesture of love and intimacy makes Ilya's heart swell. Even after all this time, he is swooning for Shane fucking Hollander. His arms tighten around Shane. Ilya cannot believe his good luck.

"Yes," he says, softer this time.

Shane kisses his shoulder again, higher this time and closer to his neck. Ilya softens into his touch, practically melting. "All I know is I want to spend the rest of my life like this. Is that too much to say?"

"No," Ilya shakes his head, feeling his throat tighten with emotion. "Not bad. Me too."

"You're so effusive."

"What is effusive?"

Shane laughs. "Like over-the-top."

"Yes," Ilya agrees. "This sounds like me."

Ilya loves the comfortable silence between them. How easy it feels now, after all this time. What used to be stifling with tension and unspoken feelings now feels like home.

Shane feels like home. Shane is his home.

He tells him, in his own way. "What if…" Ilya starts, pulling Shane tighter against him in their darkened bedroom. "What if we stop…hiding? No big announcement, but, I don't know—just be ourselves?"

For a fraction of a second, Ilya feels Shane tense in his arms. Then he relaxes.

"Yeah, okay," he says.

"Okay?"

"Yes," Shane's more emphatic now, believable. "Not a big announcement but just…"

"Us?" Ilya finishes helpfully.

"Just us."

Two weeks later, Shane proposes at his cottage on the dock by the lake. Ilya, furious and elated to have had his proposal plan usurped, ran back inside to grab his ring for Shane. When he returned, they exchanged both rings, making plans for a more-certain future.

The wedding is a quiet affair just before the end of the off season. Their teammates attend, plus a few friends and family, of course. The cottage is full of people and full of love—so much love. Ilya feels his heart expanding, leaving his body, wrapping around his ring finger with a symbol of his love for Shane—one he's allowed to wear every day. Every day. Forever.

Their teammates—in on their plan to quietly stop hiding—post vague photos from the wedding, fueling speculation. To his surprise, Ilya enjoys watching the guessing unfold. Maybe he's just stupidly happy in love, maybe it just makes everything seem wonderful. Either way, he does not mind at all.

POST-GAME INTERVIEW WITH ILYA ROZANOV

REPORTER: One last question, fans have noticed you've started wearing a ring on your right hand ring finger this season. Is there any particular meaning to the ring?

ROZANOV: [Smirking] Yes.

REPORTER: Okay…is it alright if I ask, I mean, some fans have speculated it's a wedding ring—because Russians notably wear theirs on their right hand instead of the left. Any truth to that?

ROZANOV: Oh, yes, is true. Russians do wear wedding rings on right hand. Thank you!

[End of interview]

[Instagram post by @ilya_rozanov. Several selected photos featuring Ilya's work with the Irina Foundation.]

Caption: The rumors are true. #bisexual

Comments:

@hollanovtruther1234: SLIDE FOUR, I REPEAT SLIDE FOUR!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!! HOLLANOV KISSING IN SLIDE FOUR!!!!!

@zu6yn4xgma: @hollanovtruther1234 I admire your dedication to the cause, but that definitely looks like a cheek kiss between teammates and nothing more

@shanehollander: Proud to know you & play on your team! ❤️

@justeen4e: you dropped this 👑

@bradley_spam99: god wtf is wrong with this fucking team

@ottawacentaurs: 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Chapter End Notes

I'm just a girl, standing in front of ao3, asking for suspension of disbelief as I give winnipeg a stanley cup, even if it's fictional. (go, jets, go!)

Chapter 3: Whatever We Want

Chapter Summary

four years later

Chapter Notes

to A & A for hyping up this fic and going to the HR club night with me - this chapter is for you!!!

OTTAWA'S ILYA ROZANOV ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT AFTER 16 SEASONS

The hockey world was left in shock on Saturday as Ottawa Captain Ilya Rozanov announced his retirement. The announcement comes just a few weeks after Ottawa won its third straight Stanely Cup.

The six-time Stanley Cup champion and two-time MVP appeared to be in good spirits when he made the announcement.

"There is more to life than hockey," he said at a press conference on Saturday morning. "I want to enjoy my life before hockey takes more from me."

Also in attendance at the press conference was Rozanov's former rival, current teammate, and long-time friend, Shane Hollander. Rozanov joked with reporters, adding, "Hollander does not share my philosophy," earning a laugh from those in attendance.

Rozanov suffered a series of injuries during the team's most recent playoff run, including a knee injury that required surgery. His comments appeared to reference the increasing physical toll he's experienced.

Ottawa's Coach Wiebe was emotional giving his statement. He commented extensively on Rozanov's contributions to the team, noting, "We would not have had half the successes we've experienced over the past few years without Ilya's leadership, dedication, and talent. He is truly the heart of our team and will be greatly missed."

The future hall of famer has a storied, highly-successful career. He leaves Ottawa as a beloved hero, fan favorite, and the kind of hockey legend that will be remembered for many, many years to come.

YOUTUBE VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
INTERVIEW WITH SHANE HOLLANDER & ILYA ROZANOV
IRINA FOUNDATION OFFICIAL CHANNEL

INTERVIEWER [OFF CAMERA]: It's my understanding that the two of you have something you'd like to share, on the record. Should we start with that?

[Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are sitting on a loveseat, two mics in front of them. They share a loaded look. Ilya reaches over and lovingly takes Shane's hand.]

ROZANOV: Hello, I want the world to meet my husband.

HOLLANDER: [Fondly] Always so dramatic.

INSTAGRAM POST
Joint post from @shanehollander, @ilya_rozanov, and @theirinafoundation

[Screenshot from the Irinia Foundation's interview with Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander.]

Caption: Are Ilya and Shane in a relationship? We're answering all your questions and more in today's sit-down interview. Full video on the Irina Foundation's official YouTube channel.

Comments:

@hollanovtruther1234: IT'S HAPPENING OMFG YOU GUYS IT'S HAPPENING

@hollanovtruther1234: "My husband" 😭😭😭😭 five seconds in and I'm already openly weeping

@MeganPointer44: OMG OMG OMG !!!!!!

@hayden_pike: huh????????????

@hayden_pike: kidding - wishful thinking maybe

@ilya_rozanov: @hayden_pike: green is not your color

@hayden_pike: @shanehollander wtf is he talking about

@shanehollander: Can you two ever just get along?

@hayden_pike: @shanehollander no

@ilya_rozanov: @shanehollander for you? no, sorry ❤️

YOUTUBE VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
INTERVIEW WITH SHANE HOLLANDER & ILYA ROZANOV
IRINA FOUNDATION OFFICIAL CHANNEL

INTERVIEWER: I can practically hear the screaming from around the world. For years, more than a decade, you both have been famously very private about your personal lives. You especially, Shane. Why do an interview now, after all this time?

HOLLANDER: It is like I said in my "coming out" post, or whatever you want to call it. All I ever wanted was to play hockey. Until, I guess, that's not the only thing I wanted anymore. Still, even after coming out I knew…we knew the world might not be ready for us to be…a thing.

ROZANOV: [Laughing] A thing?

HOLLANDER: Shut up, you know what I mean.

ROZANOV: I think my husband means we wanted to play game we loved without questions or too much pressure on our life. We went through a lot. Spent many years apart because we did not think we could have this. Then when we had it again, we decided to keep it to ourselves and close friends and family.

INTERVIEWER: When you say years…?

ROZANOV: [Smirking] Since before rookie season.

HOLLANDER: Then not for three years or so.

ROZANOV: Who's fault was that?

HOLLANDER: Literally yours.

ROZANOV: Oh yes. That is right.

The decision to do a sit-down, on-the-record interview started with a conversation six months earlier. Although it did not start that way at first. In fact, it started with Ilya's decision to retire, shared casually over a bowl of sugary cereal at the breakfast table.

"I will retire," he says, mouth full of rainbow, half-chewed cereal.

Shane nearly chokes on his oatmeal—he's relaxed his diet some over the years he's spent married to Ilya, after all it is nearly impossible for them to eat together half the time. They meet in the middle, on occasion, but not for breakfast. Never for breakfast.

"Sure," Shane replies, uncertain where this conversation is going. "We both will. One day."

Ilya shakes his head and swallows. "Not one day. This season."

"I'm not retiring this season." Shane is incredulous. This seems like a decision they should have made together—not one announced informally over breakfast.

Then Ilya gives him that look, the one he is so fond of using when it comes to Shane. The one that says you are not getting this at all, which leaves Shane backtracking and trying to figure out where in the conversation he went wrong.

"No," Ilya says slowly. "You are not. I am."

It sinks in, the full weight of what he's saying. Not Shane. Ilya.

This conversation has Shane on high-alert, heart kicking into overdrive with every word coming out of Ilya's mouth. It makes him feel like he's missed all the signs that have been pointing here. Sure, Ilya has been struggling with injuries more frequently this season. And yes, he's had to miss more games than ever. But they are still young, still in their prime, still bringing Ottawa to the playoffs year after year.

"Why?" Shane asks, genuinely confused. He does not understand why anyone would leave hockey early. That's what Ilya is doing, leaving before his time. Leaving before he has to. Shane knows Ilya's game better than anyone, he could keep going if he wanted to play.

A look passes Ilya's face, something unbearably soft. He takes Shane's hand. "I want everything else. I want world to know you are my husband. Maybe a family? Maybe, if we have kids sometime, I do not want to be broken down. I want to play with them. Hockey is good, but you, our life, rest of our life together…that is better I think."

Before Ilya even finishes speaking there are tears in Shane's eyes. Sometimes Ilya keeps everything inside, sometimes Shane does not know exactly what he's thinking. But right now, Ilya is putting it all on display. All of his thoughts and hopes and dreams for the future, they are all right here in their kitchen.

"If we shared our relationship with everyone," Shane wonders aloud, "would that make you want to stay?"

Ilya shakes his head again, an instant response. "No, it's not that. Or it's not just that."

"Okay."

"But," Ilya adds, crooked smile on his face. "I have been thinking…"

YOUTUBE VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
INTERVIEW WITH SHANE HOLLANDER & ILYA ROZANOV
IRINA FOUNDATION OFFICIAL CHANNEL

INTERVIEWER: So you've been together for years. We'll let that sink in for everyone watching along at home. How long have you been married?

HOLLANDER: Um, four years. Almost.

ROZANOV: Was very beautiful ceremony. We will post pictures.

INTERVIEWER: Once you two were married, why did you continue to keep it a secret? Why not announce your marriage to the world at some point? I mean, by the time you got married, you were playing on the same team, publicly known as friends, and you had both already come out in separate Instagram posts. Why not just add the marriage too?

ROZANOV: You tell me, if man and woman acted like Shane and me, would anyone think they were just friends?

HOLLANDER: What Ilya is trying to say is, we decided a long time ago to stop hiding. We attend events together, we post pictures together, we live together—which is common knowledge, by the way. Ilya wears his wedding ring all the time, mine's usually on a chain around my neck, but neither of us were hiding anything. We stopped hiding a long time ago, it's just not many people seemed to notice. And it was…easy. Easier, anyway, than I expected. While we were both still playing, it was kind of nice to just live our lives and let people come to their own conclusions, which very few people seemed to do.

ROZANOV: Is also because my husband hates public affections.

HOLLANDER: Ilya.

INTERVIEWER: He's been holding your hand this entire interview.

ROZANOV: Four years is long time. I am wearing him down.

TIKTOK VIDEO POSTED SIX MONTHS BEFORE SHANE & ILYA'S SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW
POSTED BY: @hollanovtruther1234

VOICEOVER: Hi guys, I've been getting a lot of new followers lately, so here's an updated list of the top five pieces of evidence proving Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are a couple. Number one: the move to Ottawa

Images of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov playing in Ottawa jerseys.

VOICEOVER: Hockey experts agree that the two top centers in the league moving to Ottawa made absolutely zero sense. And yet, within one year, both Shane and Ilya made shocking moves to play on the same team. By all accounts, Shane should have been devastated to be traded from Montreal—the move made absolutely no sense from the team's perspective. And yet, here are a few still shots from the press conference the day after the trade.

Images of Shane Hollander seated at press conference, small smirk on his face.

VOICEOVER: He's clearly thrilled. And who is that in attendance at the press conference?

Image changes to a photo of Ilya Rozanov, wearing a hat but still clearly identifiable, in the back of the room.

VOICEOVER: That's right. None other than Ilya Rozanov. The love of Shane's life. This brings me to point number two: they live together. I really don't know how anyone denies they're a couple after this news leaked.

Clip of Ilya Rozanov being interviewed after a game.

REPORTER: We hear you've let Shane Hollander move in with you after his sudden trade to Ottawa—I guess old rivalries really do turn into new friendships. How's that going so far?

ROZANOV: [Smirking] Let him, yes. Is good. Shane is very…happy to make others happy. Easy to live with.

REPORTER: [Laughing] How long before you kick him out and make him find his own place?

ROZANOV: Why would I do that?

VOICEOVER: Sometimes I feel like the rest of the world is blind, because what do you mean I'm the crazy one? I'm delusional? Ilya is asking reporters why he would make Shane find his own place and I'm supposed to believe that was a joke? Moving on. Ilya's coming out post was clearly layered with double-meaning. The caption: The rumors are true, hashtag bisexual. First of all, what rumors were there about Ilya being bisexual? Almost none at the time—people called me crazy for suggesting it. So what rumors could he be referencing? Could it possibly have been related to slide four. If you're not new to the Hollanov shipping community, you know slide four has been dissected to death. If you are new here, let me show you.

Screenshot of slide four of Ilya Rozanov's coming out Instagram post, showing Ilya kissing Shane's helmet after scoring a goal. The expression on Ilya's face is giddy, while Shane's is unbearably fond.

VOICEOVER: Slide. Four. Need I explain further? Why, oh why, would you include a photo of you kissing Shane Hollander in your coming out post if it meant nothing? Hint: because it does not mean nothing!

A collection of photos and videos posted by Ottawa Centaurs players in the summer of 2021, clearly from a wedding. Flowers, chairs, table decorations, and posed photos of players and their wives and girlfriends dressed in formal attire.

VOICEOVER: Reason number four: the mystery wedding. There was clearly a wedding in summer 2021 for someone connected to the Centaurs. While we can't confirm the entire team's presences, enough players posted pictures from the event that it's not a coincidence. Haters will say it was a fundraising gala. What fundraising gala is a secret? Why would there be no other information about whatever this event was?

Screenshot of post by @hayden_pike, showing his entire family at the event. In the background, there is the cropped edge of a dock leading into a body of water. It's barely visible, but enough of the dock is visible for it to be somewhat recognizable.

VOICEOVER: Then this post by Hayden Pike. Notably, not a Centaur player, but the longtime best friend of Shane Hollander. I'm sure that's just a coincidence, too. In the background, you can see a dock leading into a lake. Based on Google Earth images and old footage from a HGTV feature Shane participated in featuring his custom-built summer cottage, it is clear this dock is the same one visible during this part of the TV special.

Slowed-down clips from Shane's TV special, showing a blurry dock in the background. It does appear to be the same one from Hayden's Instagram post, although not definitively.

VOICEOVER: Finally, Ilya's Canadian citizenship. He celebrated becoming a citizen very recently with a public Instagram post.

Screenshot of Ilya's Instagram showing a photo of him standing in front of a Canadian flag.

VOICEOVER: It's rare for hockey players, especially Russian ones, to obtain Canadian citizenship. Most of them return to Russia after they're done playing. Not to mention, they could easily be traded to an American team, leaving them in limbo during the lengthy citizenship application process. But Ilya became a Canadian citizen. I'll say it's through his marriage to Shane. Of course, you're free to disagree with me.

Photo of Shane and Ilya walking the red carpet at the 2023 NHL Awards.

VOICEOVER: I could talk about this forever, and I did! If you want to dive even deeper into the Hollanov world, I've got a 3-hour YouTube video on my channel discussing all of this and so much more. Leave a comment and let me know what I'm missing!

In the secret years before the interview, Ilya likes to consume all content related to the so-called Hollanov ship.

He watches YouTube videos and TikToks, reads lengthy Reddit posts, and—once—even spent some time perusing fanfiction tagged with their names. The fanfiction was not bad, but he did not like reading about fake-Shane when he had the real one waiting for him in his bed.

Still, he enjoys the speculation. It's fun and funny and somehow romantic, the way his love for Shane bleeds through enough for others to notice. He cannot help but kiss Shane's helmet, sometimes, when they get the rare opportunity to share the ice during penalty kills or power plays. He cannot help but stare at him with open, transparent affection in his eyes. And he cannot help but wear his ring, post pictures of Shane, talk about Shane in interviews, orient his entire life around Shane—it is second nature at this point.

What surprises him is how few people notice.

If Shane were a woman, there would be no need for speculation—it would be all-but confirmed by now. They live together, share an entire life together, and yet it is still the world's biggest mystery.

That's fine with Ilya. Mostly, because he still gets to behave how he wants with Shane. Still gets to brag about him, even more so now that they are teammates. Maybe that's the problem, he is too good of a captain. They expect him to shout about how much he loves his team. He does love them, he does, but not like he loves Shane.

"Are you watching those videos again?" Shane enters the room, pulling off his headphones. He is sweaty, fresh from a workout in their home gym.

"No," Ilya lies, smiling. He loves his husband like this: tired and limber and salty post-workout. "Imagine how happy they will be when they find out it's true."

Shane rolls his eyes, fond. It's an old conversation between them. "You should stop watching their posts, one day you'll accidentally like something and blow their minds."

"Blow?" Ilya arches an eyebrow, teasing. He knows the phrase, but likes to watch his husband blush—still, now, even after all this time. It amazes him, the way Shane still goes soft under his gaze, beneath his touch.

God, he loves Shane.

"Shut up," Shane goes red. "You know what I mean."

Ilya kisses his neck, tasting the salt there. Then Shane's cheek, his eyelid, the corner of his mouth. "You are sweaty."

"Sorry."

"I like it," Ilya kisses him again. "I help you shower. Big game tomorrow, don't want you falling and hurting yourself. We are getting old."

"Speak for yourself," Shane grins, taking his hand and leading him upstairs.

This is the first time Ilya has the thought. He is joking, but some part of his statement rings true. Time is passing, he is getting older. It is only the start of the season, but he wonders if it will be his last.

With Shane's fingers laced through his, giddy smile on his face, leading him upstairs and to their master bathroom—Ilya does not think he would mind if it was.

During their last season together, Shane tries to remember every detail. Sometimes, when Ilya is not looking, Shane watches him. At practice, when he's lovingly teasing a rookie or concentrating deeply on the puck, ignoring the rest of the world. Shane watches and remembers.

He remembers all the time spent trying not to watch Ilya on the ice. Three or four times a year when their teams faced each other, how he'd keep his eyes down, his vision narrow, his gaze away from number 81. All-Star match-ups when he'd intentionally be social after hours, just to avoid an empty hotel room. Just to keep himself from knocking.

Absentmindedly, eyes still on Ilya, Shane traces the spot on his left hand where his wedding ring sometimes lives. The idea that he owes his entire life now to a TV show feels far removed from reality. And yet, if he traces the line of his marriage to Ilya it lands back there. Shane needed to see his own life on the screen before he could be brave enough to live it for himself.

It does not take long for Ilya to catch him staring. It never takes him very long at all; he seems to have some kind of sixth sense for Shane's eyes on him. Ilya looks up and catches his eye and grins. Shane's heart stops for a second, then starts again, just like it always does.

Just like it always will.

YOUTUBE VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
INTERVIEW WITH SHANE HOLLANDER & ILYA ROZANOV
IRINA FOUNDATION OFFICIAL CHANNEL

INTERVIEWER: Now you're officially out as a married couple. Ilya, you're retired. What comes next for the great Hollander-Rozanov duo?

HOLLANDER: Ilya had an amazing career and I'll miss playing with him. But I already know he is going to be the most insufferable Centaurs fan in the world now that he's on the sidelines, so people of Ottawa—watch out. And people of other cities, really any hockey fan should be concerned.

ROZANOV: What is insufferable?

HOLLANDER: You.

ROZANOV: You think you are funny one now?

HOLLANDER: I am funny.

ROZANOV: Okay.

HOLLANDER: Anyway, other than that—the future is up to Ilya. If you're asking me what comes next, the answer is, finally, whatever he wants.

ROZANOV: [Looking at Shane, smiling] Whatever we want.

Chapter End Notes

thank you all again so much for reading, kudosing, commenting! this has been so much fun, I hope you enjoyed their happily ever after.