Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike & Ilya Rozanov, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais & Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau & Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Scott Hunter (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bets & Wagers, Flirting, Hiding in Plain Sight, Good Friend Hayden Pike, POV Hayden Pike, POV Ilya Rozanov, POV Shane Hollander, Marriage Proposal, Las Vegas Wedding, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander is Obsessed With Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Is a Menace, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Ilya Rozanov's Last Year Playing in Boston, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Relationship Reveal, Social Media, Gaslighting, Relationship Reveal, Scott Hunter Keeps Catching Strays, Shane Hollander Hockey Commentary, Possessive Ilya Rozanov, Possessive Shane Hollander

Language:

English

Series:

Part 5 of HR Social Media works

Stats:

Published: 2026-07-10 Updated: 2026-09-28 Words: 28,777 Chapters: 6/?

Bet On It

Summary

Some people wanted a fic based on this tweet of my #DontYouDareFuckingFreeMe fic:

Josh @mtrlfan703

I’ll be honest and admit that if those two had made out on the ice before this, I would have assumed they had lost a bet.

JayJason @Youdon’tknowme

‘Losing a bet’ would have let them get away with so much, though… Like why are you at your rival's game? I lost a bet. Why are you wearing your rival's jersey? I lost a bet. Why are you hanging out together? I lost a bet. Why are you making him breakfast in bed? I lost a bet. 

Josh @mtrlfan703

Hell, I’d have believed it if they said they got drunk and their teammates dared them to get married in Vegas.

JayJason @Youdon’tknowme

‘First one to annul the marriage loses’ and no one is surprised when they end up sharing a tombstone…

So I decided to try and write it.

Notes

Just an fyi, in this fic Hayden figured out the hollanov relationship during the beginning of Ilya's last season in Boston (mostly because I wanted to set this fic during that year) so he's still playing with the Raiders. I know this is not canon compliance but since this fix is kind of crack an a Divergence anyway, I decided to just go with it.

• Inspired by #DontYouDareFuckingFreeMe by Airuna

Chapter 1

So here's the thing: Hayden knows he’s been an ass.

He’d argue that he’s been an ass too (he’s certainly not the only one making things difficult here), but that’s neither here nor there as Jackie has helpfully pointed out to him.  

Because sure, Rozanov may be the hockey Anti-Christ and a complete asshole but he is also (for some inexplicable reason) the man Shane has chosen to love.

And, as his best friend, Hayden should respect that.

Especially since he’s the only one that knows.

Especially since Shane had been kind of excited to introduce them.

Especially since, for all his many, many faults, Rozanov has managed to charm his wife and kids (Hayden is not ruling out the possibility that some kind of russian hypnotism has been involved).

There’s also the fact that seeing Shane eye him suspiciously when he’d asked him if he was excited about being in the same city as Rozanov for once, had kind of broken his heart.

He’s waited years, literal years, for Shane to be comfortable enough with him to share about his romantic relationships. He doesn't want his best friend to retreat into himself again after he’s finally started opening up!

Not to mention that it would be great to have someone with whom to bond over how great being married is and side-eye the single guys in the team for their ‘adventures’ and bragging, safe in the knowledge that, not only do they have an amazing partner (and family!) waiting for them at home, but they also get laid significantly more than these ‘studs’.

When Shane had come out to him, he’d thought this was his chance. Sure, he didn’t have a lot of experience wingmaning with guys but how hard could it be? Hayden’s not blind, he can see when guys are attractive, and he’s definitely better at picking up on their flirting than Shane is (not as good as JJ but being in a team with Shane Hollander has taught Hayden the importance of only comparing himself with people at his level).

But Shane had not wanted to discuss guys, Shane hadn’t even looked at the pictures of Jackie’s cool gay friends (and there’s one or two there that even Hayden would have given a shot to, if he was single).

So, with some prodding from Jackie, Hayden had arrived at the obvious conclusion: Shane was in a relationship, and honestly, it could only be with Boston Lily.

Boston Lily.

Boston Ilya

Ilya Rozanov.

The revelation had been like being dropped in a frozen lake during the winter and Hayden had suddenly seen all his half drafted ideas of double dates and shared holidays slipping away from him. 

Except that while combative and obnoxious, Rozanov had come to his place for dinner.

And while he’d been insulting and defensive, all his insults had focused on Hayden, never once crossing the line and targeting Jackie.

Jackie who had found him ‘charming’. 

Jackie who had given Hayden the cold shoulder for two days after that dinner.

Jackie who had not been mad, just disappointed.

And dammit but Hayden is not the kind of guy that disappoints his wife!

He is also not the kind of guy who enjoys dimming his own best friend's clear excitement about having a date tonight. Shane should get to brag about bagging an NHL star with fanclubs dedicated to his abs, and his arms and his back (and his curls for some reason?). It’s only fair, after all Hayden makes sure that his friend is reminded of just how great his own wife is at least once a week.

So, much as it pains him, he is going to have to make this right and he will do it tonight come hell or high water. He’s Shane’s winger after all, his job is to create opportunities for the man to score even when the situation feels hopeless.

The whole team is hanging out at a bar, and it’s painfully clear which players have taken Shane’s recent revelation well and which haven’t because, while last season they would all be crowding the same booth and trying to convince Shane to play a game of pool or have a beer for once, today some of the guys have decided to remain at the bar while others have chosen another booth to sit in.

Still, half the team is still on the good side, ie. the side currently cheering for Shane as he destroys JJ on darts.

“Give it out, JJ,” one of the rookies is saying. “You know no one has better aim than Cap.”

“Shush,” JJ answers. “I have two grand riding on this, don’t distract me.”

It’s a lucky thing that JJ can afford to lose two grand, Hayden muses, because there’s no way in hell that he, drunk as he is, has any chance of defeating Shane.

As expected, soon Shane is smiling that smug smile he so seldom lets the press see, and boasting, “I’m buying everybody a drink on JJ’s dime.”

All their teammates cheer and for a second, it seems like everything is back to normal.

“I think I’ve had enough for tonight,” Drapeau grumbles, like he’s ever turned down a free drink before.

“Yeah, I’m good too,” Comeau agrees.

To his credit, Shane doesn’t let them see his hurt, he just shrugs and says, “Your loss.”

Hayden knows Shane though, and he notices how his hand goes to his phone, before stopping himself and returning it to the darts.

Hayden wants to tell him to send his boy a message, but he knows Shane will just shrug and say that he doesn’t want to distract him, after all, the Raiders are facing the Admirals in a matter of hours and all players know better than to disturb pre-game rituals and routines.

Still, it’s a pity that even if, for once, the stars have aligned and both Montreal and Boston are having games in New York on the same day, Shane and Rozanov won’t be able to meet till late tonight.

Unless, of course…

“I want to play too!” Hayden declares pointing at the darts.

“Oh?” Shane asks, suddenly interested. “And what are we betting?”

“Not money, I’ve got too many mouths to feed,” he jokes.

“I know!” a defenseman calls out, “If he loses he has to show us his hot wife’s nudes!”

“In your fucking dreams, Anderson,” Hayden yells back and makes a special note to crosscheck him as hard as he can get away with during next practice.

“How about if you lose you have to clean all the rookies' lockers for a month?” Shane proposes, to the delight of the rookies.

And shit, Hayden knew Shane was kind of pissed at him for how the dinner had gone but he didn’t realize it was this bad! This is the kind of punishment you give to a suspected serial killer, not to your loving if a bit misguided best friend!

Still, he has a mission so he forces himself to soldier on and say, “Fine.”

And then, because he really is a fantastic friend, he adds, “But if you lose, you have to go to the Raiders game tonight and cheer for Rozanov.”

“Ooooh...” their teammates chorus, all seemingly delighted at the challenge.

“Brutal,” JJ laughs.

Shane's face, on the other hand, has gone suspiciously blank, “We wouldn’t be able to get tickets, the game is in an hour and fifty four minutes.”

“I can help with this,” JJ suddenly says, wiping out his phone. “I’m sure St Vic would hook me up. Oh, stop booing, he was my friend before he was a Raider, okay?”

Shane looks at JJ for a long time before nodding and when his eyes return to Hayden, his gaze is suddenly a lot more calculating.

“And I’d have to cheer for Rozanov?” he checks, his thumbs tucked into his pocket like he does when he’s nervous about something but kind of excited at the same time.

“Absolutely,” Drapeau says, for once in his life being helpful, though the malicious little smile he’s wearing lets Hayden know that it’s not on purpose. “You’ll have to applaud every goal and praise him when he does something cool.”

“Act like his little cheerleader, otherwise what’s the point?” Comeau agrees.

For a second, Hayden thinks he may have miscalculated here. He did not mean to humiliate Shane, and if they start connecting Rozanov to Shane's sexuality things may get ugly.

However, Shane just sighs and says, “Whatever, it’s not like I’m going to lose.”

Which… That’s a green light, isn’t it? Shane has walked away from more than one challenge because he thought they weren’t worth it. If he’s agreeing then he must at least partly want to go, right?

“You are totally going down,” Hayden promises. “I’ve been training!”

And he has. 

Jackie’s father owns a bar, and considers that a man’s worth is tied to his ability at darts and pool. Hayden spent three months practicing before he even dared walk into the bar and introduce himself.

And of course, his darling wife is a pro and loves the game, so Hayden has kept his skills sharp ever since, lest he embarrass or, worse, bores her. 

Still, it’s a close game.

Way too fucking close considering that Shane only ever plays darts with the team so he should be far less practiced than Hayden (does the guy have to be the best at everything?!). 

In the end, it comes down to the last round.

“Careful, Hollywood,” Comeau leers. “One mistake and Roz will get a new fan tonight.”

“Shut the fuck up, Commy,” JJ snaps back. “You’ve got this, Cap.”

“Yeah, please Cap, we promise to treat maid Hayd well,” one of the cockiest rookies promises. 

“No way in hell,” Hayden mutters to himself, “It’s my life on the line here.”

He’s pretty sure some of those lockers could be considered biohazards and he’s a father of four! He cannot lose here.

He takes aim carefully and throws the dart.

It misses the bullseye by a hair.

The rookies whoop. 

Comeau and Drapeau also whoop.

“Yes!” JJ says, patting Shane in the bag. “Capitaine, you can still win this!”

Shane pauses for a second, then looks at Hayden from the corner of his eye.

Hayden nods minutely.

Shane throws the dart.

The dart lands just to the left of Hayden.

Silence falls under the bar for a second, before Comeau and Drapeau start cackling, followed by all the other players.

“Oh man, I can’t believe you lost,” JJ says sympathetically.

“Better ask St Vic for those tickets,” Shane sighs, completely failing at sounding resigned.

“Yup,” Hayden says, “A bet’s a bet, after all. So Shane here is going to be a good sport and cheer for the Raiders like he’s Rozanov number one fan.”

This makes the bar laugh again and Hayden is pretty sure someone is recording this.

Good, he hopes they post it on twitter.

“How many tickets am I getting?” JJ asks to the room at large. 

“I’m coming,” Hayden says. “Have to make sure Shane keeps his word. I’m guessing you are also coming? But remember you are not allowed to cheer for St Vic.”

“We want in too!” Comeau declares, pointing at himself and at Drapeau.

JJ looks down at his phone, which has a message from St Vic promising that several of the Raiders are willing to give up their seats if it means they get Shane on their stands.

“Sorry, guys,” he lies unabashedly. “Looks like three is the most we can do.”

This gets all the others booing. 

“How about this?” Shane says, quieting them all down. “JJ can take some videos of me praising their game play and he’ll post them on Instagram. This way, you can all watch my humiliation.”

And this way, Rozanov will be able (expected) to watch clips of his boyfriend talking him up. Which is not going to be good for his ego (that thing is big enough as it is) but Shane’s eyes are basically sparkling so Hayden can't bring himself to regret his little scheme.

They have to leave the bar immediately after that to get to the game and, while JJ sorts their tickets, Shane and Hayden hang back.

“Can’t believe you let me win,” Hayden whispers.

“It was just darts,” Shane mumbles back, actually looking a bit ashamed.

“Shane, you once refused to go easy on my then four-years old at Connect 4 because ‘that’s the only way they are going to learn’!” he reminds him, because really! Shane is lucky that his daughters are tough as nails.

“And now there’s no one in their school that can beat them so I was right!” Shane replies.

“Yes, yes,” Hayden admits, because it’s true. His daughters are the unrivaled champions of their recess. “Still, you must really want to see this game, that’s all I’m saying.”

And Sane turns towards him with the sunniest smile Hayden has ever seen from him, “Yeah, Hayd, I really, really do.”

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Argh why do the metros have to hang out in my fucking bar?

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

No guys, I’m not going to tell you which bar it is. I hate the metros but I’m not that much of an asshole.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Hollander knows his way around darts, that much I’ll admit.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Dagenais just lost enough money to buy a bike to him.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Like not a very nice bike, but definitely not second-hand either.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Pike has decided he also wants to lose some money tonight.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Wait, things are getting interesting here: if Hollander loses he has to cheer for the Raiders.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Couldn’t he have made him cheer for the Admirals? We are the reigning Cup winners, you know?

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Shit, Pike is pretty decent too. I’d never have guessed it.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

Yikes, poor Hollander, looks like he’ll be wearing gold and black tonight.

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison 

@AdmiralsAlways3 pics or it didn’t happen.

Metros Dynasty @metrofan1975

He’s definitely lying, no way our team would embarrass our Captain like that. They respect him way too much.

Katey @katekate4

Sooooooooo: [video attached in which you can kind of see the metros playing darts, the audio is pretty clear and it lays out the terms of the bet]

Tired And In College @marian

It’s kind of shitty to film people without their consent, just saying.

Katey @katekate4

They were in a public space?

Tired And In College @marian

And that makes it okay somehow?!

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

Do we think they had a fight or something? Maybe Hayden is just punishing his man for something?

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Real, like that’s the only explanation that makes sense. I know Shane doesn’t ever pick up his socks and Hayden has had enough XD

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

Hayden walks his Shane like a dog lol

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

How could they do this to my baby? Don’t they know he’s sensible?!! Look at him! He looks so uncomfortable!!!

Pike’s Seventh Kid @pleaseadoptmejackie

It’s just a bet, relax. Hockey players do this kind of thing all the time.

Josh @mtrlfan703 

We should all be focusing on what’s truly worrying here: why the fuck does JJ have the phone number of a fucking Raider??? 

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

Imagine having to cheer for Rozanov 🤮 🤮 🤮 

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

He’s gotta, now. Men don’t go back on their word, no matter what.

Fuck Yeah, Metros @Joeoldtimeyhockey

Chill, our Captain is not a pussy, he’s not going to chicken out.

Chapter 2

“Guys, guys,” St Vic calls, interrupting Ilya’s attempt to visualize how he’s going to ensure that grandpa Hunter leaves this game using his cane. “You’re never going to believe this.”

The last time St Vic said this, he was talking about the fact that reindeers shed their antlers every winter so Roz shows the appropriate amount of interest and just glances his way.

“Dude, we are about to face the Admirals,” Marly reminds him. “Maybe put down your phone?”

Ilya hums in agreement. After all, he himself is showing great restraint not texting Shane right now so the least his team could do is lock their own phones away too.

“Shane Hollander is coming to our game,” St Vic announces, making Ilya freeze in the middle of tying up his left skate (dammit, he’s going to have to redo them now, he always knots them three times waiting exactly five seconds between each knot). “And he will be cheering for us.”

…What?

“Shane Hollander,” Hammy repeats, incredulously. “The Captain of the fucking Metros, that Shane Hollander?”

“Do you know another one?” St Vic replies a bit testily.

“Pull the other one,” Connie laughs, and suddenly Ilya realizes just how unpleasant that sound is. “No way, man. Hollander would rather eat glass.”

“I’m sure he would,” St Vic agrees. “But the bet he lost says he has to cheer for us instead.”

A murmur runs through the locker room, no one still quite daring to believe what they are hearing and Ilya’s patience is starting to run dry. If St Vic is teasing him, he’s going to make him regret ever being born.

“Shane Hollander lost a bet and has to cheer for us tonight?" he repeats, waiting for the confirmation and consciously not holding his breath.

“Yes!” St Vic says, waving his phone around like that will make them all understand this quicker. “He was playing darts with Pike and-”

“Shane Hollander does not lose to Hayden Pike,” Ilya interrupts, suddenly feeling very grumpy which is weird since he had made very sure to avoid getting his hopes up for this. Still, St Vic could have come up with a more believable lie than this!

“Cap,” Marly calls him. “I think St Vic may be right. There’s a video.”

Marly holds out his phone for him and Ilya all but yanks it from his hands, watching the video thrice just to make sure it’s real.

“Impossible,” he mutters to himself. Because, really? Shane is losing to clowns like Pike now? Does he not care about what that does to Ilya’s reputation?

(But maybe, this means that Shane will actually come to see him tonight? No, no way the Metros are letting their Captain cheer for their team’s rival without eating him alive).

(And how did Shane manage to lose against Pike? He seems like a decent shot but no way near Shane’s level. It’s almost as if… Ridiculous, this is Shane Hollander! He does not lose on purpose.)

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. Why is he having so many stupid thoughts today?

(It’s just that it’s been a while since someone was on the stands to see him.)

Wait, no. Really, what the fuck is he thinking? Half the people in the stands tonight are there for the express purpose of seeing him, he’s Ilya Rozanov after all. Best hockey player in the league and definitely the most fun to follow.

(He’s an awesome player to watch.)

“I have to admit that that was kind of a sick punishment," Hammy says. “Wish we thought about it before the metros.”

And suddenly Ilya is hit with such a visceral craving that he feels his knees wanting to buckle.

It’s ridiculous, he hates the metros. Their plays are boring and basically consist of sending the puck to Shane and hoping he’ll do the impossible.

But Shane always does do the impossible. He pulls moves that only Ilya can match or counter, faster than a bullet and always in control of his ice. Because it is his ice, Shane Hollander’s ice. An ice that Ilya also makes his own but that everyone else is just borrowing.

And he always looks so fucking alive when playing. Ilya’s wished more than once to be able to see that from up close without having to worry about playing keep away with the puck.

His boys are still discussing what they should have made Ilya do to ‘embarrass’ him for losing so Ilya quiets them down by clapping his hands once as loudly as he can.

“Okay, fine, fine,” Ilya says, rolling his eyes and making very, very sure to keep his tone light. “I promise, if you ever manage to beat me at anything, I will attend a Metros match wearing a Hollander jersey, okay? I’ll even ask him to sign it. Not that it’s ever going to happen, you fuckers have been trying since my rookie season and how many times have I lost, uh? But enough bullshitting now, yes? We all need to focus. Hollander will be on those stands tonight, and he is going to be merciless so mistakes are not allowed.”

“Well, it doesn’t actually matter how well we play,” St Vic says, condeming himself to suicides for a week because Ilya is not going to be captaining slackers. “He’s going to have to praise us regardless.”

ME, Ilya wants to shout in what even he has to admit would be an extremely childish and embarrassing display, he has to praise me. 

Instead, he just smirks and says, “Oh yeah? Remember last year when the press asked him to give some compliments to that rookie in Minnesota for ‘morale’?”

Around him, all his boys wince in sympathy.

“That was brutal,” Connie admits, petting his stick like he wants to comfort it. 

Rolf, their goalie, is the only one that seems confused, “What did he say?”

“How the fuck did you miss it?” Hammy asks him. “It was everywhere!”

“Was not on the paper, was it?” Rolf demands. “Would’ve seen it if it was there.”

“You’ve got to get a phone, man, or at least a computer,” Marly says.

“I have a phone,” Rolf retorts, showing them a flip-phone that was probably invented when Scott Hunter was only sixty. “And I’m not damaging my eyes with no electrical bullshit. No, thank you. My eyes are the money markers, boys. Gotta see those puck coming!”

Marly seems like he wants to answer but Ilya stops him, after all, there’s no use arguing against a goalie.

“Let the man live in the dark ages if he wants,” Ilya says. “As long as he gets us shutout tonight, I don’t care.”

“Shut your trap, captain,” Rolf shushes him quickly. “The post may hear you, and they are very shy girls, they fumble when they think you have expectations of them.”

“Ah, but you know just how to sweet talk them, don’t you?” Ilya replies with a wink. “So get them some flowers, if you want, but make sure your girls help you stop every single puck tonight. Let no one say that Benett’s girls are better than yours.”

“Now those are fighting words,” Rolf grumbles. “My girls won’t lose to no one’s girls.”

“I’m genuinely afraid one day will get to the rink and he’ll be trying to actually woe the posts,” Marly mutters.

“Wouldn’t be the first goalie to try it,” Ilya answers, remembering some of the stories Sergei had told him. “As long as he doesn’t defile them, I don’t give a fuck. Now can we circle around to talk about how we are going to crush the elderly tonight or do you want to keep gossiping like fishmongers?”

“But I still don’t know what Hollander said to the Minnesota brat!” Rolf protests.

Ilya sighs, but allows Connie to reply, “Something like ‘well, he managed to stay upright on skates’.”

“Ouch,” Hammy says like he had forgotten, which Ilya would not rule out considering all the concussions he’s had. “I would have retired right then and there.”

“Yeah, you may have to retire tomorrow then,” St Vic mocks him. “Because the way you’ve been playing, he’s not going to be able to say even that.”

“I tripped once this season, once!”

“Boys, boys,” Ilya stops them, walking to stand in front of them and opening his arms in a sweeping gesture. “You are going to play the game of your fucking life tonight,” he promises (threatens) them. “Do you know how I know that? I know that because if you do not, I will kill you all painfully and slowly.” His tone may be joking but the expression on his boys' faces lets him know that they realize that he’s dead serious. Good. They better not embarrass him tonight. “So lets show Hollander and the metros some actual good fucking hockey, okay?”

His team roars his approval and Ilya basks on it, feeling like a general before battle or a Sea God that has just demanded his followers to sacrifice their best ox to him.

Marly must notice it, because he bumps their shoulders together before commenting, “Wow, you're really railed up.”

“You have no idea, Marly,” Ilya answers, and rolls out to give Shane Hollander the show of his fucking live.

Just JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

⚠️ IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!⚠️  Mon Capitaine has lost a bet and will have to cheer for Boston tonight. Since such a thing won’t happen again, I’ve decided (with the Admirals permission) to livestream it on Instagram. So if you want to see the best player in the league talk some puck through gritted teeth, tune in like right now.

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

One of us! One of us! One of us!

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

Enjoy it while it lasts because you only get him for one night.

Rozanov's Abs🤤 @RaidersPuckBunny 

Sweetheart, some of us would kill for one night with either of these boys.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Time to put all those hours in the broadcast club to practice. I’ll be live-tweeting the Hollander commentary for everyone who for some unfathomable reason is not watching the live. Please follow the #HollzySaid

Sarah @futurejournalist87

@GraduatingThisYear, I’m coming for your job, just so we are clear.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

I guess this is my cue to announce that I will be, as always, livetweeting the game. #NYA-BOS

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

That said, I have a feeling very few people will follow me today (I don’t blame you, I too have Hollander’s feed open in another window).

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid on who will win the first face off “Rozanov”.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

JJ (doesn’t get a # sorry): “Can you elaborate?”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Just check their stats”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Hunter is good, I guess, but Rozanov has the best face-off percentage of the league”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Also worth pointing out that he is grimacing as he says this.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Man hates admitting that Rozanov has him beaten in any area.

Hollzy4President @AliceOnSkates

OKAY BUT Rozanov only has better face-off stats than Hollzy because his chirping distracts his opponents, so…

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81 

And Michaelangelo was only able to paint the Sixtine Chapel because he could hold a brush? Like what’s your point here?

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

And Roz wins the face-off. #NYA-BOS

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “That was a bit sloppy. Is he trying to show off by pulling off something flashy? I’d be more impressed if he made cleaner passes.”

Jay No Jake @JayPlaysButBadly

RIP Roz, I guess.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Roz gets an assist fifty seconds into the game. #NYA-BOS

Boston Born and Raised @PissOff

Hmmm, do you mean Peterson scores a goal fifty seconds into the game?

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Good that Peterson has fixed that nasty habit he had of always shooting at the same spot. Should have known that Rozanov would not be as lenient with him as the Nomads were.”

My kingdom for a decent goalie @cens4life

The man knows he’s supposed to cheer for the raiders, right?

Sarah @futurejournalist87

After being asked by a fan on who’s the better player, Hunter or Roz, #HollzySaid: “OH! Are you just getting into hockey? It’s a great sport, you’ll see.”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

The poor fan has just explained that he’s been cheering for the Admirals his whole life. #HollzySaid completely sincerely: “That level of loyalty even in the face of their track record is admirable.”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Hunter is a very experienced player but when it comes to skill and speed, Rozanov is just better.”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “He’s got a higher hockey IQ too. Oh, and he’s got better aim. He’s also obviously a lot more reliable, home advantage doesn’t really affect him all that much which is not something we can say about Hunter, sadly.”

Shanon @tampababe

Has someone told Hollzy that he was supposed to cheer on Roz, not bury Hunter?

Good for Scott Hunter @RewatchingTheKissAgain

The straight man would prefer to side with another straight man he hates than the gay guy he was friendly with? Truly, I cannot imagine why he’d do that 🙄🙄🙄

L. Fucking A., Baby @PunctuationIsImportant

Sorry to pop your bubble but a) Hollander has lost a bet so he HAS to cheer for Rozanov and b) Rozanov is objectively a better player than Hunter. Not being homophobic. I can admit that Hunter is better than Kent, hell he is better than basically any other captain in the league EXCEPT for Hollander and Rozanov.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

The fan just reminded Hollzy that the Admirals are the Cup Holders. #HollzySaid  “yeah, they really turned up last year and very skillfully took advantage of mine and Rozanov injuries”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Was frustrating having to sit out the playoffs, but I can’t really complain too much. Not when Hunter used his victory to make history.”

New York New York @ BestAdmiralHunter

Well he may be eviscerating our boy here, but at least he’s an ally?

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Fan is trying to argue with Hollander about Hunter being better than Rozanov. Hollander has just started bringing up Hunter and Rozy’s stats from memory and comparing them one to one. The fan is not amused. His wife is fact checking Hollander using the wiki and she keeps nodding solemnly at his husband. #HollzySaid

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Wife has apparently caught a mistake.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Hollander has just explained that the mistake is the wiki’s and that they calculated the Corsi using only shots on goal.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Can’t stress enough that the man is doing all this without once looking at the wiki himself. He knows their stats by heart and he was able to immediately deduce why one was wrong the second he heard the number they had come up with.

Katey @katekate4

I know we all joke about him being a hockey robot, but like are we sure he was not made in a lab with the express purpose to lead Canada to their next gold in the Olympics? Because there’s no way a human man could store all that hockey information in his brain.

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

Leave him alone, hockey is his special interest, okay?

Pike’s Seventh Kid @pleaseadoptmejackie

The Space Race was just a cover, in fact the URSS and USA were both experimenting on children to breed the definitive hockey player.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3 

I like the idea but Hollander is actually Canadian.

Pike’s Seventh Kid @pleaseadoptmejackie

Well duh, if you want to create the fastest horse, you start by breeding derby winners!

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid trying to pacify the fan after completely and utterly dragging his hero: “I have a lot of respect for Hunter, he’s a great player and one of my proudest moments of my rookie season was breaking his shoot accuracy record. Well, I broke Rozanov’s record, but I mean… Yeah, he was definitely the guy to beat before me and Rozanov joined the league.”

Pucks in the net @AllHockey2453

Hollander keeps calling Roz’s plays like half a second before they happen. 

Don’t Perceive me @JohnnyReads

I’m starting to wonder if you can develop telepathy by hating on the same guy for over a decade.

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Poor Hayden, he finally managed to invent an excuse to take his man on a public date and Shane is paying more attention to the hockey than to him.

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

😹 😹 😹 He really messed up suggesting going to a game. 

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

Especially one that R*zanov (🤮) is playing.

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Shane may hate that man almost as much as he loves Hayden.

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

He also messed up proposing the date in front of the most oblivious man in the world. JJ READ THE ROOM!!!

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

Actually I think JJ knows and he’s coming with them to make sure no one suspects anything (and so they have a video of their date, because he’s a true ally).

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid “Rozanov’s wings are keeping up with him, for once, I wonder what kind of training they did during the off season.”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid “It’ll be fun to play a Rozanov that doesn’t have to slow down to match his line-mates' level.”

Oh Captain My Captain @RaidersGirlie81

RIP Connie and Pete 

Oh Captain My Captain @RaidersGirlie81

Mind you, they are two of the fastest skaters in the league, but apparently not quite fast enough.

Russian Menace @GreatOutstandingAmazingTremendous

Love that he said this in front of Pike who’s average speed is lower than Connie’s (faster than Pete’s I’ll grant you) and is Hollander’s own line-mate.

Hattrick!!!! @Metrosfan342

Okay, but Hollzy and Pike actually use plays that take into account that difference between their top-speeds so Pike doesn’t hinder Hollzy like some other wingers we could name.

Josh @mtrlfan703

Say what you want about the rivalry but it’s clear as day that Hollander is having the time of his life watching this game.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

Yeah, he’s having too much fun, this was supposed to be a punishment.

Josh @mtrlfan703

Come on, you know his boys (or Rozanov) won’t let him live this down ever again. At least let the poor man enjoy the (actually great fucking) hockey he’s watching!

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Wow, Eric really is a great goalie. That save was incredible. It really is a pity that he has one or two good seasons left.”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Hayden: “He hasn’t said anything about retirement, has he?”

#HollzySaid: “The man’s older than Scott Hunter, Hayds.”

Jay No Jake @JayPlaysButBadly

… Are we sure that him and Roz aren’t friends?

Ann without an e @ann3254

Imagine if they had a secret chat in which they just razzed all the other players of the league.

Fuck Yeah, Metros @Joeoldtimeyhockey

I’d kill to read that, not gonna lie.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

First period has just ended and it’s 1-0 in favor of the Raiders. #NYA-BOS

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Amazing performance tonight from Boston spearheaded, of course, by their Captain who has been relentlessly pressing on the Admirals and pushing them to play on the defensive since minute 0. #NYA-BOS

Good for Scott Hunter @RewatchingTheKissAgain

Let me point out that Benny has stopped 18 shots tonight already and it’s just the first period so shout out to our boy, too!

Ottawa’s Pride @ShnHllndr

No but for real, the Raiders are on fire tonight!

Alice @pucksandjaws

Connie missed a shot and Hollander had to be censored for five whole minutes while he shouted things at him. I wouldn’t mess up after that either.

Kay @stuuffabooutliife

The way Hollzy’s eyes are shining every time Rozanov pulls out a crazy stunt. The man clearly loves hockey.

Hollanov's Helmet Smooch @AllStar8124

“Hockey”. Yeah, for sure.

Laugh Live Hockey @hockeymomofthree 

Is no one else disappointed that Hollander is being so unkind in his assessment of the game? He was supposed to be a role model.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

Fucking relax, it’s not like he’s even swearing.

Fuck Yeah, Metros @Joeoldtimeyhockey 

I swear, the one time Hollander shows some personality and you all want to muzzle him again.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth 

I’m actually loving our Captain putting that soft american in his place.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Second period is starting and the energy the two teams have while getting on the ice could not be more different. #NYA-BOS

My kingdom for a decent goalie @cens4life

Let’s hope that the Admirals wake up a bit, that first period was painful to watch.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Rozanov wins the first face-off and heads towards the goal, he is stopped followed closely by Scott Hunter. #NYA-BOS

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Rozanov is stopped by Draught and Ribes but he manages to shoot the puck back. #NYA-BOS

Sarah @futurejournalist87

“Why wasn’t Hammersmith ready to receive that?” <- #HollzySaid about a pass that should have been physically impossible to make.

Metros Dynasty @metrofan1975

To be fair, the Metros are always receiving God Tier-Impossible passes and they don’t fumble them.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “I could have received that” 

Secret apples @dontaskmeaboutmyfruit

OMG Can you imagine??? Hollander and Rozanov in the same line?

Harassed Intern @IReplacedMyBloodWithCoffee

We did witness that during All Stars last year, yes.

Secret apples @dontaskmeaboutmyfruit

I know but like, for a full season.

Harassed Intern @IReplacedMyBloodWithCoffee

I think the other teams would just not bother to show up. Like why? It’s not like they’d have half a chance at winning.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

JJ: “Having fun?” 

#HollzySaid: “Yeah, this is terrible, why is he so good at hockey?”

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison 

SEE?? HOLLZY AGREES WITH ME!!! ROZANOV IS FUN TO WATCH!

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

You are still a traitor, man.

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison 

Oh, but Hollzy can say it?

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

He won us two Cups, as far as I’m concerned, he can say whatever he goddam pleases.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

And Rozanov scores his first goal of the night, using, of course, his signature move. #NYA-BOS

Raiders on the Road @RaidersRaiding

Rozanov's goal was so pretty Hollzy got up from his chair to cheer.

More Shirtless Roz please and thank you @GimmeARozAfterMidnight

Lol, Roz bowing in Hollzy’s direction after the goal.

More Shirtless Roz please and thank you @GimmeARozAfterMidnight

You can hate him all you want but you cannot deny he’s the greatest showman of his generation.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid:  “Don’t tell him this, but the Rozanov is probably the coolest move anyone has invented in a decade.”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid too: “Kind of tacky to score a goal with a move named after yourself but it was a great play.”

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

It’s given egomaniac tbh

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

At most evil genius, thank you very much.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Scott Hunter is finally on the ice, people, scoring only a minute after Rozanov's goal and bringing up the score to 2-1. #NYA-BOS

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: Good, Rozanov always plays better when he has some opposition.

LA on Ice @FlyMeToTheNet

Apparently Hollzy was right on the money because Roz seems to have taken that Hunter goal personally, I swear I saw one of the D-man tremble when the Russian menace was coming towards him.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

And with only forty seconds left of second period, Rozanov gets his second goal, the score is now 3-1 to Boston. #NYA-BOS

Put Hayes in the crease @WeirdGoaliesAreTheBest

Okay but “Rozanov really is amazing to watch, isn’t he?” immediately followed by quietly whispering “I want to get on the ice” is peak rival behavior.

UQAM donne-moi mon diplôme @MetrosDonnezMoiUnJob

Hollzy knows he’s the only one that can match up to Rozanov and wants to prove it (also he’s sick of the Admirals embarrassing themselves as we all are).

Hollanov's Helmet Smooch @AllStar8124

Again you all keep using the word ‘rival’ and I don’t think it means what you all think it means. 

Sarah @futurejournalist87

JJ just pointed Hunter’s boyfriend out to Hollzy. #HollzySaid: “I’m so sorry he has to witness this.”

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Third period is starting with Boston being up by two. #NYA-BOS

Not a Horse @MaxingMax

Not that you’d know just by looking at how the Raiders are playing.

Ali-most there @ImTryingOkay

Right? Like chill out boys, this is not the playoffs.

Two Times Cup Winner @StanleysMetros

Hmmm…. THE Shane Hollander is at the stands for them? They go to the playoffs basically every year, this is not going to happen again.

Tired And In College @marian

Okay so I’m on a bar with some players from Tampa and I swear they are actually taking notes.

Tired And In College @marian

Like they started watching the stream for the lols but after Hollander’s second rundown of a players strengths and weaknesses one of them grabbed a napkin and a pen and started writing them down.

Tired And In College @marian

And no, I’m not taking a picture of them for you all because that would be creepy. Believe me or don’t, I’m not an asshole.

Hell yeah butifarra @Idontgohere

Broke: Hollander is cheering on the Raiders because he lost a bet

Woke: Hollander actually likes hockey and the Raiders are putting one hell of a show.

Bespoke: Hollander is weaponising this humiliation ritual to ensure every team in the conference have a good grasp of both the Admirals and Raiders playstyles so as to cripple his two biggest threats in the circuit. 

FREE ME @atworkandhatingit

Hard agree but also, if I was a player on one of those two teams, I would swallow my pride and watch his criticism because Hollander really knows his shit and there’s a lot there that can be used to improve.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid: “Nice checking, Marly, and you didn’t even send Holms to the hospital!”

Best Team Best Captain @ProudBostonian

Is Shane Hollander petty?

Metros Dynasty @metrofan1975

Marleau cost us the playoff, Hollzy can be as bitter as he wants!

Cliff Marl-OH! @MarlysBiggestFan 

IT WAS A CLEAN HIT

Best Team Best Captain @ProudBostonian

Roz is going for the hat trick, isn’t he?

8-fucking-1 @livingforthosewinks

With Hollander watching? YES

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

I want it on the record that I hate the metros, like fuck those guys. Boston all the way.

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

But our boys are sweeping the Admirals tonight in what was expected to be one of the hardest games in the season.

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

So I think we need to maybe consider finding a way to get Hollander and the other two on the stands for the rest of the season.

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

Or at the very least for the playoffs.

Hell yeah butifarra @Idontgohere

… So Hollander’s evil plan goes deeper than I thought. It’s not only analytics, he’s messing with superstitions right now! That man needs to be stopped!!

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid:  “Those edges are fucking beautiful, I hate him so much.”

Arthy @curiousandtired

This is the first time Hollander has publicly stated that he hates Rozanov and I have never believed that less than today.

Dash @ImHereForFootballAndHockey

I genuinely think that they are secretly friends. Or at the very least respect each other’s game.

Have you never wanted to go completely apeshit? @UnhingedOnMain

Would make sense, they are both good enough that they can afford to respect their rival.

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

And Rozanov threads the needle and gets his hattrick! #NYA-BOS

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81

I’m honestly just surprised that it took him till the last 5 minutes of the third period the way he was playing.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid (yelled actually): “Screw you, Roz!”

Looking Respectfully @RozysBackCanFixMe

Is he upset he got the hattrick?

Sarah @futurejournalist87

#HollzySaid “That’s the play he used to get gold in the Juniors, back in 2008”

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Hayden has just called it a coincidence, #HollzySaid: “He did it to taunt me personally”

Raiding the harbor @RozIsBostonsBestBoy

I would call him delusional but knowing Roz, yeah, he absolutely did it to taunt him.

Soft Boy Roz @HeartOfBlackAndGold

He is so petty, I love him so much.

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

The way Hollzy went from calling him ‘Rozanov’ to calling him ‘Roz’. Are we witnessing the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

I TOLD YOU YOU ONLY GET HIM FOR A DAY!

My kingdom for some coffee @JohnnyShallow

Well that was interesting.

Cliff Jumping Is My Hobby @NoIDontSwim

Interesting??? That was hockey history right there!

Lesbians do it better @WatchWomensHockey

The game or Hollander’s breakdown of the teams?

Cliff Jumping Is My Hobby @NoIDontSwim

YES!

Hockey’s life @puckspuckspucksandsitckstoo

Lowkey feeling sorry for the Admirals, the Raiders came for their blood tonight.

Let me drive the Zamboni @ IWantToBeTall 

The raiders???? Hollander did more damage FROM THE STANDS!

Chirp Chirp Motherfucker! @CatchTheseSticks

I’m the only one that wants those two to be friends? I thought Hollander was boring but he definitely has a sense of humor and I think Roz would enjoy it if they actually talked for once.

Hollzy4President @AliceOnSkates

I think they may have become friends during All Stars last year, actually.

Hollzy4President @AliceOnSkates

Like not friend-friends, obviously. But they look like they would have a dynamic like Legolas and that dwarf from the LoTR where they like to compete with each other even if they don’t actually like each other all that much (also Hollzy is a beautiful badass and Rozanov is a scrappy wannabe trying to compete with him for some reason).

Hot Hockey Boys Spotted @ImJustHereForTheHottiesOnIce

Oh yeah, Legolas and Gimli, famous for not liking each other.

Reading Sansûkh Again @WhatDoYouMeanItsNotCanon

I know this is not the right fandom, but Gimli is actually NOT a scrappy wannabe, he’s a lord and a diplomat and far better spoken than any of the other walkers. Like the depiction in the movie did not do him justice at all, and I need to explain it to you in detail. 1/4

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer

@ShaneHollanderOfficial, you knew how to chirp the whole time? This is a betrayal, how could you hide this from me? #AllMenDoIsLie #MyOwnRival

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterOfficial

@ShaneHollanderOfficial if I’ve offended you in any way you can  just tell me, man. 

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite

Roz Spotted! @ the bar Marly lost his two front teeth (if you know, you know).

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite

And because I’m a good and charitable soul. @Shane24Supremacy, the raiders don’t seem to be the only ones partying in this joint tonight. I spot three (admittedly handsome but way too canadian) intruders with my little eye.

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy

Wait, I don’t know where Marleau lost his teeth? You’ve got to give me more details than that! 

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite

Sorry, honey, but you should know the rules: we don’t give names or addresses, can't have all the casuals just crashing the party, can we? And any self-respecting Raiders fan will tell you that tonight’s clue is ridiculously easy.

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy

But I’m not a Raiders fan?

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite

I’m sure there’s an archive somewhere detailing our boys' escapades. Have fun catching up!

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy

I have never hated anyone more in my entire life.

Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

Hayden can’t actually believe how well this is going.

He’d come up with the idea on the fly and, honestly? It should have crashed and burned.

Shane Hollander cheering for the Boston Raiders? He’s pretty sure that there are laws against that.

But as soon as the word ‘bet’ had been invoked everybody had bent over backwards to get it done? And they had not only allowed but cheered it on? Like even the weirdos in the internet agree that Shane has done what he needed to do.

(Well, most of them, but Hayden’s been on twitter long enough to know that there’s no pleasing everyone and you could go insane trying.)

Not to mention that he’s pretty sure that he’s never seen Shane this happy before.

Or well, he has (they’ve won two Cups after all) but not without him immediately reaching for his phone.

On a personal note, he also has to admit that it’s been a very nice night.

Hanging out with Shane and JJ is always great but, to be honest, he had forgotten how much fun simply watching hockey is. He grew up doing it, loves the sport (no one gets to where they are without being slightly obsessed with it) but right now he cannot recall the last time he went to a rink just to enjoy a game.

It’s so different from watching tape!

Not analyzing the plays, no thinking on how to counter them, just sitting back and chirping with his friends.

(Well, Shane is analyzing the plays and he will most definitely have a list of ways they can counter them for next practice, but that’s because that’s how Shane enjoys watching the games so it doesn’t count.)

All in all, his idea has been a resounding success and Hayden is starting to suspect that he may secretly be a genius (he’ll have to make sure to call Jackie so he can tell her, she’s going to be so impressed!).

“So,” JJ starts, smiling his most charming smile which is always a terrible sign. “Please do not kill me.”

“What did you do?” Shane asks, but his tone isn’t half as stern as he was probably aiming for because he still seems to be floating on air.  

(How do people not see it? How on earth did it take Hayden years to realize what Rozanov is to him? Or what Shane is to Rozanov, who has spent the game looking in their direction while annoyingly not losing focus on where the puck and other players are.)

“Nothing!” JJ immediately lies. “It’s just… I may have told St Vic that if Rozanov scored a hat trick you would buy him a drink?”

Quickly Hayden looks around to make sure that people are hearing this. They are. There’s also people ‘discreetly’ recording them. Good.

(This is fun, it’s like being a reverse spy, and Hayden’s apparently great at it! One more thing to tell Jackie: he’s like agent 700, she’s sure to find that hilarious.)

Shane isn’t answering so JJ panics a bit and hurries to add, “I did not say when you’d do it, though. So maybe we can just tell them that you’ll do it during All Stars?”

“Man deserves the drink tonight with how he played!” an old grisly man says. He’s wearing a Boston jersey and, for some reason, seems to have decided that he’s part of this conversation.

Shane smiles gamely at him, so Hayden refrains from politely telling him to fuck off and mind his own business.

“I guess he did do decently,” he agrees blandly, like he hadn’t spent the whole game gassing the man up. “And it’s just a drink, after all. JJ, do you know where they are celebrating tonight?”

“I can find out,” JJ says excitedly, and quickly starts typing on his phone.

Shane attempts to hide it but he looks even more happy than before.

It makes Hayden frown a bit because, well JJ’s gotten them the tickets and the invite to the after party, so isn’t he like winning at the whole wingmaning Shane thing? And that’s absolutely insane because he doesn't even know that he’s doing it!

Okay, so Hayden needs to step up his game.

“So,” he says to the crowd. “My captain is buying Rozanov a drink, that should be more than enough reward for that asshole, yeah?”

They may be at the Admiral’s joint but St Vic got them the tickets so they are surrounded mostly by Bostonians. Obviously, their answer is a resounding, “Noooooooo.”

“No?” Hayden pretends to be surprised, playing it up for the crowd. “What else could he do?”

“Hayden, stop,” Shane says, completely unconvincingly. “You’ve had way too much to drink.”

Hayden has had one Sprite tonight.

“No, man,” he says, attempting to slur a bit, since apparently he’s playing the drunkard now. “You lost, I get to punish you.”

“You did punish me,” Shane reminds him. “That's why we are here.”

“But that’s not enough! You spend half the game razzing Rozanov and his boys, that’s just a normal Tuesday for you!” Hayden whines.

“So what do you want me to do?” Shane asks, rolling his eyes. “Wear his jersey?”

He offered that up way too eagerly. Hayden has to resist the urge to narrow his eyes at him. Really? That’s what he wants? Oh well, whatever floats his boat. Hayden’s going to try very hard not to judge him.

“Yes!” he says instead of the ‘fuck no’ that would be his usual kneejerk reaction. “That sounds great, don’t you guys think so?”

This time, the crowd answer is a far more enthusiastic “Yes!”

Shane shakes his head. “No way, sorry. I’m allergic.”

“Booooooo,” the crowd jeers.

“People, leave him alone,” JJ says, and he’s kind of glaring at Hayden now, looking more confused than angry. “You cannot ask a captain to wear another team’s colors!”

“I mean, Crosby did it,” Hayden mutters just loud enough for the old man from before to hear it.

“Yes, that’s right! Crosby did it!” he says far louder. “What are you, a chicken? Man up and pay the piper, kiddo.”

“Wear it, wear it, wear it,” the crowd starts to chant.

“I don’t have one,” Shane says in a weak attempt to calm them down.

They are at the Admiral turf so buying them is not an option (they do have some pucks signed by Rozanov but not any jersei). Shane seems to realize it immediately because he visibly deflates for a nanosecond, before schooling his expression right back into a neutral one.

“I could give you mine!” a very pretty girl offers, bating her eyes at Shane, which is brave considering she is wearing a Rozanov jersey and holding a sign that announces that she’s more than willing to meet him after the game for ‘drinks’.

“No, thank you,” Shane says and yup that’s definitely a glare. Luckily most people are not versed enough in Shane’s expressions to tell, so the girl just pouts prettily and gracefully accepts the rejection.

Shane is still pondering something because he says, “But I guess…”

He turns towards the man from before and asks him, “You from Boston?”

“Born and raised,” the man answers with pride.

Shane nods. “I’ll make you a deal. You lend me that cap you are wearing and I’ll mail it back to you with Rozanov’s signature included.”

The fan looks at Shane for a long while before carefully removing his cap, “Make it Marly’s and we’ve got a deal.”

Shane looks completely dumbfounded for a second, before his face breaks into his brightest, most evil smile yet.

“Oh, thank you,” he tells the fan, with childlike glee. Then he clears his throat, and apparently remembers that the general public does not know he’s a little shit and should not figure it out tonight (at least not more than they already have).  “I mean, sure, man, no one appreciates good D-man anymore. It’s always forwards, forwards, forwards but without guys like Marleau or JJ here, we’d be completely done for.”

“That’s right, baby,” JJ cheers, grabbing Shane by the shoulder and shaking him a bit, “We are the real heroes out there, and don’t you forget it!”

The man looks at JJ for a long while, before also taking out a bunch of trading cards from his pocket. It’s mostly D-men from what Hayden can see, Boston’s whole roster, of course, that one beast from Detroit, a couple guys from Buffalo… and JJ himself.

“I used to play defense, back in the day,” he explains a bit flustered while handing the card to JJ. “And like, fuck the metros, alright? But you are a good one. And maybe you’ll get traded someday. So, you know, if that happened, I’d kick myself for not getting you to sign this when I had the chance.”

JJ laughs, taking the card and stealing the pen that Shane always carries around for occasions such as this one. 

“Normally I’d be offended by the implication I’ll be traded. Go metros!” JJ’s shout is met by booing from their audience but it’s far more friendly than what Hayden is used to from this kind of crowd. “Still, when I go out with these two, I’m never the one asked for an autograph so I guess I can overlook it, for a man of taste such as yourself.”

He signs the card and returns it to the fan. He also hands him his phone so he can write down his address for Shane since he’ll have sent him the cap back somehow. 

The man does it far too easily (maybe Hayden's perception is skewed since he’s sort of famous but is it normal to just hand out your address to people you don’t know?) and they are just starting to say goodbye to the fans when one of them yells, completely out of the blue, “I have a sister in Montreal! She’ll kill me if I don’t get Hollander’s autograph.”

“Oh, yeah,” the girl that had offered the jersey before laughs. “I totally also have relatives in Montreal, can you please sign this jersei for them? Right over the 81, if you don’t mind.”

“Me too. My coworker has shit taste in teams.”

“I’m just a completionist, you know? Much as I hate the Metros, I need their autograph for my collection!”

“Well, I happen to like good hockey so I’m going to get Hollander’s autograph even if my dad disowns me for it!”

After that it takes them an hour to leave. Apparently, a lot of Raiders and Admiral fans have decided that sure, the Metros ‘suck’, but well, they have friends and family that would love to have something signed by Shane Hollander, not themselves, of course, but since he is here…

Shane signs six Hunter jerseys, eleven Rozanov jerseys, five normal every-day t-shirts and a hot dog wrapper with red and yellow stains before JJ decides that enough is enough and starts pushing them out of there.

“Man, we really can’t take you anywhere,” he tells Shane who just shrugs, with his habitual smug smile that so very few people recognise for what it is.

“Hey, I signed a couple of things too,” Hayden protests because he had! The people here knew who he was, unlike fake fans that approach them in aquariums.

“Sure, you did, man,” JJ tells him. “But we cannot let the Raiders start drinking without us, they’ll be even more unbearable drunk than they are sober. So let’s go!”

By some method that Hayden can only assume is magic, JJ has them on route to the bar in under ten minutes (how on earth did he find transportation so quickly? And how did the driver find the one street in New York not completely congested after the game? Twenty minutes, the driver tells them, they’ll be at the bar in twenty minutes! And then he rolls up the partition screen because of course JJ chose a car with one of those.) 

“We could not go,” JJ says tentatively, after they make themselves comfortable in the car. “You know you don’t have to buy the connard a drink, right?”

“It’s fine,” Shane says simply, not looking at him.

“Look, I know you are physically incapable of saying no to a challenge,” JJ continues, and now he’s back to glaring at Hayden like he’s blaming him for something. “But you don’t even like going to bars with the team, man. It’s totally alright if you want to bail.”

“JJ,” Shane interrupts, sounding a bit frustrated. “I’m doing this.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. Especially since he has gone tense all over and is clenching his jaw in clear defiance. 

Because Hayden knows that what Shane fears is that JJ will try to take away this chance he’s gotten to be with his boyfriend in public. But JJ? JJ is only seeing the fear, the discomfort. And he’s seeing that after spending the whole season trying to ensure Shane is as comfortable as possible during outings with the team, because god knows some of the others have been downright hostile to him. 

As expected, JJ opens his mouth to protest, and Hayden knows that that will only make Shane double down, stubborn as he is. Which means that this will either end in a fight or in JJ convinced that he’s ruined Shane’s day and Shane miffed that JJ keeps trying to stop him from doing something he wants ‘for his own good’. 

And that would really suck because this has been one of their best bro-hangouts ever, you know? 

So he finds himself butting in before he can even decide if it’s a good idea.

“Shane’s friends with the asshole,” he lets out in a single breath.

Both his friends turn to look at him like he has lost his mind.

“What?” JJ says, curtly.

“Hayden,” Shane tells him warningly.

“Look, JJ, you talk to St Vic, you know Rozanov is not that bad,” Hayden says, and he would much rather be sticking needles under his fingernails, actually. “They got to talking during All Stars and hit it off since, you know, Rozanov is maybe the only guy as obsessed with hockey as Shane is in the whole league, hell the whole world. And I think they enjoy being bitchy about us lowly mortals together, not that Shane will never admit to it. But obviously they can’t let people know because they’d lose their mind over it, right? But really, isn’t that kind of stupid? We all have friends on other teams, don’t we?”

It’s not the same. It’s so not the same. And the look JJ sends him lets him know that he knows it too. Still, Shane seems to have relaxed a bit so maybe Hayden is on the right track?

“Capitaine, is that true?” JJ asks, still incredulous.

Shane shrugs. “I wouldn’t say we are friends exactly, but I don’t mind hanging out with him.” And probably because JJ still looks unconvinced, he adds far more quietly, “He partied with Scott in Vegas last year.”

“Ah,” JJ says, understanding dawning in his face. “Yeah, St Vic says he has a zero tolerance for bullshit in his room. Apparently doesn’t want his boys embarrassing him with subpar chirps when there’s so many other things they can make fun of Hunter for.”

“Right,” Shane nods. “Roz may be an asshole, but…”

“But he’s not a douche like most of our teammates,” JJ nods sagely. 

“We are actually thinking about starting a charity together,” Shane admits, looking around nervously even though it’s only the three of them here. “He approached me and I really liked the idea. I think we could do a lot of good together, actually. If people can get the fuck over the whole rivalry thing.”

“Oh, so this is why Hayden’s been acting like a dick tonight! You are soft launching your ‘friendship’ so it doesn’t distract from the charity,” JJ says the word friendship like he doesn’t really buy it. Still, he nods and resolutely adds, “Okay, I got you. You really should have come to me with this from the beginning. Hayden is hopeless!”

“Hey!” Hayden protests. Because really, “I’ve been doing just fine, thank you.”

“Ehh, you’ve done alright,” JJ says very rudely. “But if we want to sell this friendship it can’t just be Shane, hein? It makes no sense! Everybody knows he isn’t the most outgoing guy. It took you, what, two years to get him to come over to yours for dinner? And people are supposed to believe that him and Rozanov became friends over one weekend?”

Hayden would like to point out that that’s what happened (at least in the cover story), except that he really doesn’t like lying to JJ to his face.

“Like you could have done better,” he grumbles.

“I can totally do better,” JJ promises. “Shane, man, let me run this, d'accord? If Rozanov is on board, we can get St Vic involved too. Marleau and Connors will probably be in too. Maybe Mitty from our side? Yeah, I think we can trust him and we cannot be outnumbered by the fucking Raiders.”

“JJ, I don’t really want to make a big deal out of this,” Shane says, sounding a bit wary.

“But it will be a huge deal! It’s you and Rozanov,” JJ points out. “So let’s have fun with this, hein?”

Shane is still looking unconvinced, but he asks, “What do you suggest?”

And JJ lights up because they both know that’s as good as a yes from Shane.

“Don’t worry, Capitaine,” he says reassuring absolutely no one. “Just leave this all to me!”

Mark @NotThatMarkNo

Did anyone see the video of the Metros core trio after the Raiders and Admiral game? It’s not getting a lot of traction.

Hollzy4President @AliceOnSkates

We are all too busy looking at Hollzy’s live comments

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy

And at the videos of them partying with the Raiders.

Mark @NotThatMarkNo

Okay, but you cannot have the complete story without this one.

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

What's the complete story? That Shane needs better friends?

We have the cutest Captain, deal with it @MetrosGirl

Okay, unpopular opinion time, but I think Hayden Pike is a terrible friend.

Pike’s Seventh Kid @pleaseadoptmejackie

Girl, we saw Shane during the game, he was having fun!

We have the cutest Captain, deal with it @MetrosGirl

I’m talking about how he tried to peer-pressure him into wearing a Rozanov jersey, like you could see that Shane was visibly uncomfortable but he didn’t want to be rude to the fans.

Pike’s Seventh Kid @pleaseadoptmejackie

Shane’s a grown man, if he didn’t want to wear that jersey (and he didn’t) he was perfectly capable of saying no (and he did).

Laugh Live Hockey @hockeymomofthree

I’m disappointed that a family man such as Pike would get drunk in public. Is that the example he wants to set for his kids?

What did I miss? @PerpetuallyTired

Ma’am, he had a couple of beers at a game with his buddies.

Laugh Live Hockey @hockeymomofthree

He was visibly sloshed! On a work evening!

What did I miss? @PerpetuallyTired

I’m forever astounded by how easy it is to offend some of you people.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

Shane is a better man than me, because if my friend promised my sworn enemy that I’d buy him a drink, I’d never speak to him again.

My kingdom for a decent goalie @cens4life

You have a sworn enemy?

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison

You have friends?

Josh @mtrlfan703 

You need to learn how to take a joke.

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

‘I guess he did decently’ 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣  Never change, Shane Hollander.

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81

I’d ask what he thought of the other players, then. But we all know now…

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

And now, they do too. 😨 😨 😨 😨 

C’est parti pour les séries ! @MetrosChampionsDuMonde

No, but really, what’s Pike’s beef with Hollander? Is he mad at him for some reason?

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

The team seems to be divided lately, I thought Pike was on Cap’s side but maybe he’s not.

C’est parti pour les séries ! @MetrosChampionsDuMonde

Stop spreading fake news! Our team is as close knit as ever, you are just being a hater.

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

Preach! People in here actually think that our boys have a problem with TWO-TIME STANLEY CUP CHAMPION CAPTAIN  SHANE HOLLANDER. You know they are not complete morons, right?

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

Have you watched any games this season?

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

Obviously? A couple of missed passes early in the season means nothing.

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

Hollander’s coverage is down and the team is not connecting.

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

Again, it’s the start of the season? All teams have growing pains.

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

Our team is basically the same as last season???

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

Doesn’t mean they aren’t trying new things!

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

New things like what? Icing out our fucking Captain? Yeah, that will go over well.

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

You really are delusional, go tell your conspiracy theories to someone else.

C’est parti pour les séries ! @MetrosChampionsDuMonde

Bro, why are you arguing hockey with a girl lol

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

So we all agree that Shane’s definitely in the doghouse, yes? 

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

Man is still paying for Rose Lanbeard last year XD (ALSO Hayden likes to punish his man confirmed 🥵 🥵 🥵 )

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Bit hypocritical coming from the man that equipped his Jackie-invisibility-shield as soon as he made first line.

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

But we all know that Jackie’s a lesbian and Shane’s cousin, so it was probably a joint decision. Rose Lanbeard stinks of momanager Yuna laying down the law.

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Argh, I cannot wait for the day when Hayden finally convinces Shane to cut that toxic woman out of their lives. They’d be out already if it wasn’t for her.

STOP WHINNING AND GO TO WORK @TiredOfAllTheseLazyKids

Disgusting seeing so many Raider so-called fans asking the fucking metros’ captain for his autograph.

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

Sam, green is not a good colour on you.

Raiding the harbor @RozIsBostonsBestBoy 

I have to admire that Roz puck-bunny for shooting her shot with Hollander while she holds a sign about how Roz should raid her tonight.

Katey @katekate4

Woman saw an opening and took it. Respect

Shaney😍😍 @Shanegirlie24

Too bad Shane’s brain is only equipped to hold thoughts about hockey.

Two Times Cup Winner @StanleysMetros

Let’s hope he gets an upgrade soon, those genes need to be passed down to the next generation.

Sébastien @OùEstMaPoutine?

Not to praise Rozanov on main, but the man understood the assignment and he’s making sure that by the time he retires there’s a couple scores of roz-lings ready to take up his mantle.

What if we three-peat it? @AmateurGoalie

Because that’s what this shitty league needs, more fucking russians…

Chapter End Notes

So my intention was to write the bar scene in this chapter but first I wanted a small section in which it explained how they ended up there, then Hayden and JJ started plotting and here we are. Oh well, next chapter it is (with maybe a new POV character). Also for everyone that wanted Shane in a Raiders jersey, it will happen at some point, I promise, but it won't be a replica a fan that wanted to sleep with Ilya bought, our Shane has standards XD

Also thank you stereden for making sure JJ's french was alright and coming up with more Montreal dude-bros usernames!

Chapter 4

Shane has never been this scared in his life.

Shane has also never been this excited.

It’s weird and it’s making him feel physically ill (a knotted stomach does not mash well with having butterflies there too).

Still, he does not want this night to end.

And that’s saying something, considering that he knows the night is going to end in the hotel room he and Ilya have booked far, far away from where their respective teams are staying. Usually, he could not wait to drag Ilya there!

But while he’s always thoroughly enjoyed their clandestine meetings, having Ilya out in the open is something else entirely.

And going to a bar with their friends? They didn’t even get to do that in the cottage!

In the cottage, Shane could say what he wanted, do what he wanted, touch where and when he wanted. But there they were alone or with his parents. And it was nice, of course, but also…  

Well, he couldn’t brag about Ilya, or grab his friends and point at his boyfriend and say ‘isn’t he great?’. He couldn’t see Ilya interacting with people, teasing them, riling them up and making everybody around him helplessly gravitate towards him. It’s a treat, watching Ilya make strangers everywhere fall just a little bit (or a lot) in love with him, all the while knowing that he’s the one that gets to take him home.

So yeah, Shane is looking forward to entering this bar.

Shane is also terrified,

Because how can he act normal around his boyfriend? His boyfriend who has just scored a hat trick against the current Cup Holders!

(Has Shane mentioned that he is dating an MLH captain? Because he should. He should mention that all the fucking time, actually.)

He is going to mess up. Or worse, he won’t even need to. Everybody is going to look at his face and just know. He’s always been terrible at hiding just how obsessed he is with Ilya.

And god, Ilya!

Ilya’s not going to be any better. Especially not high on victory as he’s sure to be right now. He’ll come to Shane and drape himself all over him. He’ll tease and tease, trying to get Shane to admit out loud that he’s impressed. And if Shane does, he’ll do that face, the one where he goes all soft and gooey and looks at Shane like he cannot believe that he is real.

(Shane really wants to see that face.)

“Come on,” Hayden says, and Shane realizes that he’s been staring at the door for longer than is probably normal. “It’s going to be just like All Stars.”

All Stars.

Yeah, it can be like All Stars.

They had flirted at the bar, Shane had ogled Ilya in the pool, they had watched the sunset together, Ilya had kissed him on the ice… And yet, somehow, no one had noticed.

(A small percentage of their fans had and they had been very loud online about it. Luckily, everyone considers them to be insane and their noise had only made the denial louder).

Okay.

Okay.

People are blind.

He can totally do this.

“After you,” JJ says, holding the door open for them.

Shane appreciates that, for all he’s looking at him with worry, he has stopped trying to talk him out of this. JJ trusts him to know when to say no (which is fair, considering that 90% of the times a party or bar is brought up, that’s exactly Shane’s response).

“Go get him,” Hayden mutters just loud enough for Shane to hear.

Shane smiles at him before nodding.

Hayden has been… weird tonight.

But a good kind of weird.

Maybe a bit reckless but nice.

Shane had thought…

Well, after the way his team had reacted to his coming out, he hadn’t wanted to alienate one of the two people still firmly on his side. 

Still, it had stung. His refusal to just see Ilya. 

Jackie could see him. 

The kids could see him. 

So why was Hayden still projecting the same asshole the league and Montreal’s management insisted on force-feeding them?

He’d hoped that it was just the initial shock, that some time would make him reconsider, realize that there was so much more to Ilya than just that. And that that public persona was far more endearing once you tuned in into Ilya’s sense of humor. Especially since Shane knew that Hayden liked his sense of humor which, in private, was very similar to Ilya’s!

And apparently it has?

It makes Shane feel a lot lighter. And it makes him have stupid ideas like… well, JJ said that for this to work, all of them had to become friends with the Raiders, right? So Shane will have to introduce him to Ilya, the real Ilya. And Ilya will introduce Shane to his closest friends in the team.

So maybe, JJ will realize that Ilya is the fun kind of asshole. 

And maybe Shane can prove to the Raiders that he’s not a complete robot.

Which could maybe mean that the original plan of coming out to the people closer to them was not complete garbage and could still be reworked.

Maybe.

Because Shane will first have to make sure the Raiders won’t react like the metros had. Ilya may be leaving Boston when the year is up, but he will not be safe until he gets a Canadian passport (or, at the very least, until their charity is up and running and Ilya’s employment doesn’t depend completely on a bigoted league that gets upset every time its dancing monkeys try a new routine).

So yeah, a lot of plans to make, but the first step to all of them is entering this bar.

Resolutely, Shane crosses the doorway.

The bar is loud, and it gets louder the second he’s spotted.

“Hollander!” someone shouts.

“Roz! Our biggest fan is here!” Marly calls out.

“Hardly,” Shane says, and makes a conscious effort to stop himself from searching for Ilya. “You, in particular, could afford to work on your net front defense, Marleau.”

“Oh, he knows,” Shane startles when an arm snakes around his shoulders. “You made sure of that.”

Ilya’s too close.

Ilya’s not close enough.

With some reluctance, Shane shrugs, dislodging Ilya’s arms.

He sends him what he hopes is a covert apologetic look but Ilya looks incandescent, way, way too happy to take offense at Shane’s apparent rebuff. 

“You are welcome,” he tells Ilya and hopes his tone conveys ‘for doing your job for you, Captain’, clearly enough.

“So are you,” Ilya replies, with his cockiest smile. “You seemed to enjoy the show we put on tonight.”

“It was not bad,” Shane admits, keeping his tone casual. “For a game against the Admirals, I mean.”

Ilya lights up, like he always does whenever Shane chirps with him, and Shane feels his own mouth start to quirk up.

“I know, I know,” Ilya nods at him, in faux seriousness. “I wanted to give you a better game, but I guess New York is not a match for Boston.”

“You should enjoy it while you can,” Shane tells him. “I promise you won't have such an easy time next time you come to Montreal.” 

This is good, right? He and Ilya have always bonded over the fact that there’s no one else at their level. If they push this angle, maybe their teams’ fans will feel that connection too? After all, Montreal and Boston are rivals for a reason.

Ilya's smile widens and sharpens a little.

“I’m counting on that, Hollander,” he all but purrs, making Shane feel kind of hot under the collar.

“Come on, Cap, don’t antagonize the man before he’s bought you that drink,” JJ’s friend, Victor St Simons, interjects. “Don’t want him to spook before he pays.”

“Mon Capitaine doesn’t spook easily, St Vic,” JJ protests. “And he’s a man of his word.”

“You mean I’m a man of your word,” Shane grumbles goodnaturedly. “You are the one that made the stupid bet.”

“I think you can afford one drink, Capitaine,” JJ teases him. “Didn’t Rolex just renew his contract with you?”

“Oh, they did? Then I want bottle of their nicest vodka and an empty glass,” Ilya declares with a wink, making the bar laugh and Shane rolls his eyes. 

“How about I buy you a shot of their cheapest tequila instead?” he fires back because, while he would love to buy Ilya every drink in this bar (hell the bar itself, if he wanted it), he knows he has a part to play here.

Ilya brings a hand to his chest like it pains him.

“That’s a very mean thing to say, Hollander,” he whines to even more laughter.

Shane was worried Ilya’s teammates would not like him chirping at their captain but they seem to be taking it with good humor. Some are looking at him almost in approval? Far, far more relaxed than they had been when he’d entered the bar.

“Good,” Connors tells Ilya, elbowing him gently on the ribs. “You got off way too easy tonight.”

“Yeah, Cap,” Hammersmith agrees from his stool near the bar. “Your rival tore all of us to shreds to compensate for having to praise your sorry ass. The least you can do is drink shitty tequila for our amusement.”

“No, that’s a lie,” Ilya says, pointing at him. “Hollander tell them. You did not tore them to shreds because of me, you did it because they all suck at hockey.”

Probably not something Ilya should be saying about his own teammates but Shane cannot say that he is completely wrong. Also they don’t seem offended? Like they are all booing but they are doing so with a smile on their faces.

(Also, did Ilya watch his livestream already? What did he think about it? Did he like it?)

“I hate that I have to say these words, but Rozanov is right,” Hayden interjects before Shane can figure out a diplomatic way of saying the same. “Shane is always like that when talking about hockey.”

“Yeah, you’ve been treated to what our capitaine likes to call ‘constructive criticism’," JJ agrees with a grimace. 

“Really?” Marleau asks, sounding amused. “Damn, Hollzy, and I thought Roz was brutal!”

‘Hollzy’? Since when does Cliff Marleau call him ‘Hollzy’? Also why isn’t he more angry that Shane spent five minutes dissecting his every mistake in what even he can admit had been a very juvenile and petty revenge for Marleau cockblocking him last year? 

Not to mention that Marleau’s older than he is, and the old guard always tends to grumble when Shane does his job and gives them advice. Maybe Boston is different? Their fans do tend to get vicious if they lose (then again, so do Montreal fans). In any case, it’s nice that the Raiders seem to have taken his criticism on the chin.

“Oh, am I losing to Hollander?” Ilya asks in a very sweet tone that has all the Raiders going pale and makes Shane stand a bit straighter (he likes it when Ilya is mean, sue him). “Maybe I should up my game, is that what you are saying?”

“No!” Connors says immediately.

“Please, no,” Hammersmith agrees.

“Obviously not, Roz,” Marleau says, rolling his eyes. “What I’m saying is that Hollander should relax a bit, jeez.”

“Or maybe you could all try to suck less?” Shane offers kindly. “Playing well is not that hard, I promise.”

“That’s what I tell them!” Ilya exclaims, draping his arm against Shane again and pulling him into his chest. 

This time, Shane allows it. 

It’s not weird, right? They are bonding! And Ilya’s always been very tactile. It makes sense and it’s not any more suspicious than when he allows JJ to hug him so hard his feet leave the floor.

“Shut your trap, Roz,” Hammersmith says. “You told poor Rickrick that his goal against Tampa didn’t count because it was an empty-netter.”

“It doesn’t,” both Shane and Ilya answer at the same time, then they share a look and can’t help but chuckle a bit.

“Oh my god, there’s two of them,” Connors mutters under his breath.

“Not even god can help us now,” Hayden agrees nonsensically.

Shane tunes them out because, really, he’s far more interested in the way Ilya is still pressing against him, his arm hanging over his shoulders companionably, probably looking completely innocent to anyone that cannot feel the possessive way he is pressing him more and more firmly against himself.

“I see you are wearing my colours,” he says softly. His voice is loud enough that the other players can probably hear him but he makes sure to keep his tone teasing so they will probably think it’s a chirp.

“Don’t get too excited, Rozanov,” Shane answers back and he’s aware that he’s sounding far, far too flirtatious. “It’s only a cap.”

“My cap,” Ilya corrects him. ‘On my man’ goes unsaid but Shane can read it in his eyes and has to suppress a shiver.

(He cannot blame Ilya, not when he cannot even think about Ilya wearing his jersey without embarrassing himself in public).

“Actually it’s Tom’s cap,” he says, just to see Ilya’s nostrils flare and his frown burrow in distaste. “He was kind enough to lend it to me. He did ask me to get it signed though…”

Ilya perks up immediately, his face breaking into a bright smile and he (sadly) lets go of Shane to make eager hands towards the cap.

Shane cannot suppress his smirk when he finishes, “...By Marleau.”

Ilya looks at him with such a betrayed expression that Shane cannot help but laugh.

“Marly?” Ilya asks, completely outraged. “You want Marly to sign your cap?”

Shane shrugs, but his face must reveal just how funny he thinks this is because Hayden snorts by his side and some of the Raiders outright chuckle.

“That’s what the man wanted,” he explains with feign casualness. “He likes D-men, apparently.”

“Finally, someone with taste!” Marleau exclaims and goes to grab the cap from Shane’s head.

Ilya smacks his hand away.

“I’m the captain,” he informs them, like they don’t all already know. 

(Youngest captain to ever win the Cup, the asshole. Because he enjoys setting records that Shane has no possible way of breaking.)

And before anyone can protest, Ilya snatches the cap from Shane’s head, produces a pen from his pocket (see JJ? It’s not weird to carry one around!) and signs it. The autograph is obnoxiously big and smack on the center of the cap, leaving little space for anyone else to sign it.

“Roz! I promised to return this with Marleau’s autograph,” Shane protests, though he’s mostly just doing it for show.

“If this Tommy is an actual Raiders fan, he’ll like this better,” Roz says unapologetically.

“I don’t know,” JJ frowns, and he is looking a bit miffed. Shit, Shane hopes this doesn’t make him dislike Ilya. “The man did have a huge stack of just D-men cards. I think he really does just like defense.”

“Argh, fine, look, you got his address, yes? Then Marly and his boys will return this cap personally to him,” Roz says, making JJ’s frown relax, much to Shane’s relief. “And they will sign any card the man wants. That will make him happy, oke? So stop whining and let’s start drinking already.”

To Shane’s amazement, the Raiders just nod along, like it’s completely normal for their captain to force them to do house visits on their days off.

“So should I sign the cap too or…?” Marleau asks, looking a bit confused.

“I’m not having my rival wearing your autograph, Marly, it would be bad for my reputation,” Ilya explains to him and Shane cannot help but feel a bit relieved.

Marly is not bad, for a D-man, but there’s only a handful of players whose signature Shane would be comfortable wearing. Like one current and maybe three old legends who retired years ago.

Still, while he does like wearing Ilya’s name, he also feels like the situation is a bit unfair. Cheering for him was for the bet, and wearing his colors is a reward for the hat trick, but this…

He’s the Metros’ captain, is the thing, and people will be watching if they aren’t already (Shane spies more than four or five phones recording them). He should refuse to take back the cap. Make Ilya wear it instead. 

He doesn’t want that, though.

But he also doesn’t want to be the only one ‘losing’ here.

Near them, Shane spots a couple girls wearing Ilya’s jersey. They are very pretty and one of them has painted an 81 on her cheek in sparkly red. More alarmingly, they keep elbowing each other and are whispering what’s probably encouragements to get the other to approach Ilya.

Yeah, that is not going to happen tonight. 

Decision made, Shane snatches the pen from Ilya’s hand, and, before he can react, he grabs him by the neck and quickly scribbles his autograph on his forehead, making sure not to get it on his curls.

There.

Shane Hollander.

In big letters that everyone can easily read.

Ilya blinks, looking extremely shocked and Shane just shrugs.

“If I’m wearing your autograph, then you are wearing mine too,” he says cockily and if he was a bit braver, he would attempt a wink right now.

There’s a second of absolute silence before their friends and other bar patrons erupt into jeers, catcalls and laughter but, for once, Shane doesn’t care about their reactions, instead he just waits with bated breath for Ilya’s.

(He really hopes he won’t rub it off. Granted, that’s what he probably should do. What Shane would do. But still! Shane wants him to keep it for the night, is that too much to ask?)

Thankfully, Ilya just laughs. 

A true laugh, uncontrolled and loud, that makes Shane feel like he has a small sun inside. Then Ilya also grabs him firmly by the neck, his big hand covering his whole nape and making Shane remember other times Ilya has held him like this, and uses his other hand to secure the cap firmly on Shane’s head. His touch lingers for a second too long and Shane has to remind himself not to lean into it.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Hollander,” Ilya tells him and he does wink. “Good to know you can be fun, once in a while. Now let’s go grab that drink you owe me and find a dartboard. It seems like I need to teach you how to play darts if you are losing to the likes of Pike.”

Shane is so happy that he actually snorts at the dig. Later he will have to make sure Ilya knows the truth, though. He did not lose at darts against Hayden of all people, he made a calculated sacrifice to ensure he fulfilled his duties as Ilya’s boyfriend. That should count as a win in his record, not a loss.

“No, no, vodka is for later,” Shane says, and he lets himself attempt a Russian accent, it’s not like anyone is going to get the reference but Ilya. Then his smirk sharpens. “as your consolation prize.”

Ilya laughs again, and gestures to him dramatically towards the boards, “You are on.”

Pucks in the net @AllHockey2453

Three Metros walk into a far full of Raiders… And they all end up partying together?

Hollzy4President @AliceOnSkates

The Betrayal ™

Josh @mtrlfan703

LBH here, who among us would pass up the chance to party with Rozanov? He may be an asshole but the man knows how to have a fun time!

Sébastien @OùEstMaPoutine?

And the ladies just flock towards him 😏😏😏 

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates 

Why is that man touching poor Shane? Shane clearly does not want it!!!!!

Pike’s Seventh Kid @pleaseadoptmejackie

Calm down, he is not even hugging him.

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates 

Still! Can’t you see how uncomfortable Shane looks?

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

The things Shane does for PR...

Ann without an e @ann3254 

The Raiders have seen The Stream?????

Jay No Jake @JayPlaysButBadly

Everyone has seen The Stream, there’s a petition with 31k signatures and counting to get Hollander to live-comment every game this season.

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

I’m assuming that means every game except the ones he’s playing? Because as fun as this has been, we are NOT giving up our captain.

Ottawa’s Pride @ShnHllndr

Just mic the man up and he can do both.

Chirp Chirp Motherfucker! @CatchTheseSticks

Roz could too!

Don’t Perceive me @JohnnyReads

Oh please, mic them both, can you imagine?

Raiders on the Road @RaidersRaiding

Now I want Roz to go to a Metros game (is that blasphemy?)

Russian Menace @GreatOutstandingAmazingTremendous

Naah, you are fine, man. Roz would enjoy it.

UQAM donne-moi mon diplôme @MetrosDonnezMoiUnJob

Okay, don’t kill me but I think I see it now

UQAM donne-moi mon diplôme @MetrosDonnezMoiUnJob

The only person that can get Shane when he goes all hockey savant is Rozanov

UQAM donne-moi mon diplôme @MetrosDonnezMoiUnJob

Like he may not like the guy but when it comes to hockey, who else is there?

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

… Hayden Pike?

UQAM donne-moi mon diplôme @MetrosDonnezMoiUnJob

I’m going to assume this was a joke.

Two Times Cup Winner @StanleysMetros

Good on Hollander for reminding Boston that WE are their true rival.

Boston Born and Raised @PissOff

Yeah, everyone has been talking too much about the Admirals lately.

What if we three-peat it? @AmateurGoalie

Hunter has one good season and these new yorkers start to believe they are all that.

Best Team Best Captain @ProudBostonian

It’s Rozanov or Hollander, and it’s always been. Picking any other team is just plain stupid.

Ali-most there @ImTryingOkay

Shane Hollander, a multimillionaire, when he has to buy his rival a drink: ‘Give us the cheapest thing you have.’

Dash @ImHereForFootballAndHockey

Mind you, it’s just been confirmed that the man has Rolex money.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

Why would he waste a cent on Rozanov?

Soft Boy Roz @HeartOfBlackAndGold

It’s a class thing. Look at Roz, he tips 81% every time. Hollander is just being stingy.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

Okay but bartenders and strippers work for that money.

Soft Boy Roz @HeartOfBlackAndGold

Rozanov just had a five point game!

 

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat 

Rozanov taking advantage of the situation and extorting Shane out of far more money than a drink would cost 🤬 🤬 🤬 

 What if we three-peat it? @AmateurGoalie

Greedy and shameless, who’s surprised?

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates 

Poor Shane is too polite for his own good, he should tell him to buy his own expensive vodka.

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard 

Or tell JJ to fork over the cash since he’s the one that got him in this position.

Stuck on 2014 @RaidersWeWantMore

I don’t know how I feel about OUR CAPTAIN telling our boys that they suck.

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

He also tells them he loves them, don’t worry.

Stuck on 2014 @RaidersWeWantMore

That makes it worse! That was my mom’s MO and I’m still paying for therapy five years after cutting her off.

Shaney😍😍 @Shanegirlie24 

Stric!Captain Shane confirmed.

Fuck Yeah, Metros @Joeoldtimeyhockey

The man led his team to back to back Cups. I think we all know he didn’t do it by making them sing kumbaya. 

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

Remember that video of a very angry eight year old Shane telling his teammates that they ‘just have to put the puck on the net, it’s not that hard’? Yeah, it looks like the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite  

You are kidding? There’s a very old Russian interview, where Roz was like eleven I think. The interviewer asked him why he was so much better than the rest of his teammates (at this point, he was playing with fourteen and fifteen years old at some tournament and was the clear MVP despite his age).

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite

And I swear that baby Roz shrugged and said ‘I don’t think they know that they should be putting pucks in the net, I tried to tell them but they keep getting mad at me’. 

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite

Mind you this is baby Roz, he was being sincere. A little shit, for sure, but sincere all the same.

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

My god what have we done? We should never have allowed these two to talk.

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

The rivalry was the only thing protecting the rest of the players from their combined judginess and now that barrier has been crossed.

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite 

I, for one, am here for this and have even brought my popcorn 🍿🍿🍿

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite 

Did you find the bar btw?

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

Fuck. You.

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite 

Lol

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite 

Check your dms

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

… Thank you.

Roz Spotted! @PuckBunniesUnite 

Don’t thank me. Just send me that video of baby Hollander. I have an idea for a Roz edit that’s going to be 🔥

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

I’m very very tempted to tell you that there’s an archive.

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

But I’m nice so…

Where’s Canada’s Captain Tonight? @Shane24Supremacy 

Check your dms 😘

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn

The Metros are stronger than I am, because if I had to deal with the ‘commentary’ every single practice I would just retire.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterOfficial

You are on main, man. Again.

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn

… I was hacked.

*This tweet has been deleted.

I’m Not A Famous Hockey Player @TotallyNotCarterVaugnht

The metros are stronger than I am, because if I had to deal with the ‘commentary’ every single game I would just retire.

WeAreTheChampions @AdmiralsAlways3

… You are either a very stupid hockey player or the funniest person on this website.

Not a Horse @MaxingMax

POV your captain is a hockey god and he has some ‘advice’ for how you could improve.

*Cartoon image of a soldier in the middle of a battlefield looking grim*

LA on Ice @FlyMeToTheNet

Metros 🤝 Raiders 

Let me drive the Zamboni @ IWantToBeTall

Hope both teams have good therapists on staff…

What did I miss? @PerpetuallyTired 

People are so sensitive nowadays! Hollander and Rozanov are captains, it’s their job to whip their players into shape.

What did I miss? @PerpetuallyTired 

If the players are not tough enough to listen to their advice, then maybe they should go into figure skating instead!

Tired And In College @marian 

Man, do I have some news to you about figure skating…

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

Marly there almost doomed himself and all his teammates to a grizzly death.

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison

And the metros too. Because if those two start competing on who’s the toughest captain…

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

Yeah, there’d be no survivors.

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

Okay, but would we win the Cup in the process? Because if so, I say we risk it.

Na-na-na-na HAT TRICK @Rozy4MVP

Have you considered that we’d also be risking the Metros getting their third one in four years?

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston 

Scratch my idea, we should put our players’ welfare first always.

Goalies Are Just Hotter Sorry @Claratotallynotthirststweets

🚨 MAYDAY 🚨 🚨 MAYDAY 🚨 🚨 MAYDAY 🚨 

Goalies Are Just Hotter Sorry @Claratotallynotthirststweets

Predator one and Predator two are bonding. I repeat. THEY ARE BONDING!

Goalies Are Just Hotter Sorry @Claratotallynotthirststweets

Requesting some brave soul separate them before they do permanent damage to the ecosystem (my faves’ mental health and selfsteem). #ThinkOfTheGoalies

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81

It’s too late, I’m afraid. Roz has been braiding friendship bracelets since he saw that stream.

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81

Nothing charms our captain more than a good chirper.

Mark @NotThatMarkNo

‘Empty-net goals do not count’ is exactly the kind of batshit insane thing I would expect Hollander to secretly think.

Hockey’s life @puckspuckspucksandsitckstoo

Funny, it’s also exactly the kind of thing I would expect Rozanov to say to other center’s faces.

Mark @NotThatMarkNo

… There’s no hope to stop this friendship is there?

Hockey’s life @puckspuckspucksandsitckstoo

After today, I’m surprised it’s taken them this long. 

Mark @NotThatMarkNo

That’s the power of rivalry, kept them apart and stopped them from realizing that they are each other’s One True Chirper.

Fucking A., Baby @PunctuationIsImportant

Okay, what do we want to bet all the other forwards on the league (or conference at least) have a secret chat to complain about these two?

We have the cutest Captain, deal with it @MetrosGirl 

If they didn’t before, they will start now.

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates 

Let’s not forget that Hayden’s a forward too! You actually think he’d be a member of a chat created to trash talk his best friend?

We have the cutest Captain, deal with it @MetrosGirl 

No, I think Pike’s probably the admin of the chat. 

Fuck Rozanov @M3trosForLife

Am I the only one that still thinks that Hollander befriending Rozanov is kind of a betrayal to the other metros?

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn 

If the other metros didn't want this, they could have tried being better at hockey.

C’est parti pour les séries ! @MetrosChampionsDuMonde

For real, you cannot blame our captain for wanting to hang out with someone on his level for once. 

8-fucking-1 @livingforthosewinks

Roz looks delighted that someone has finally installed the personality patch on his league assigned rival.

Raiding the harbor @RozIsBostonsBestBoy

He’s waited years for this.

Have you never wanted to go completely apeshit? @UnhingedOnMain

Finally he can play-fight with the one man he actually respects.

Rozanov's Abs🤤 @RaidersPuckBunny

Roz has been trying to banter with Hollander since they were drafted, it was about time Hollander got off his high horse and started engaging.

Hot Hockey Boys Spotted @ImJustHereForTheHottiesOnIce

‘You are wearing my colors’ 🧐 🧐 🧐 so what if I started a rumor?

Hollanov's Helmet Smooch @AllStar8124

You are not starting anything, some of us have been here since the CCM commercial. 

Hattrick!!!! @Metrosfan342

Oh Hollzy was waiting to tell him this.

Russian Menace @GreatOutstandingAmazingTremendous

Roz’s face 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81

What Raider fan would take Marly’s autograph over ROZANOV’s?

Cliff Jumping Is My Hobby @NoIDontSwim

Hey! Marly’s a great player!

Fuck it we stan @ChirpingGoldMedalist81

Marly did not lead us to our first Cup in fucking decades when he was barely old enough to drink!

Oh Captain My Captain @RaidersGirlie81

So this Tom guy got to a) talk with Hollander, b) have Roz sign his cap and c) a visit from half the Raiders roster?

Oh Captain My Captain @RaidersGirlie81

Why does God bless some people with so much and give me so little?

Alice @pucksandjaws

I’ve never been so jealous in my life. Tom, whoever you are, count your fucking days.

Lance @merthurmoviewhen

Sis, if Cliff Marleau came to your place, you’d die on the spot.

Alice @pucksandjaws

But I’d die happy!!!

Lance @merthurmoviewhen

And I’d be able to step over your corpse and shake the man’s hand. You are right, Tom, it’s on sight!

More Shirtless Roz please and thank you @GimmeARozAfterMidnight

That’s HIS rival Marly, back off.

Where are your skates? @ExhaustedHockeyMom 

Such a homewrecker, this boy.

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983 

Hollzy really said: I may have to wear your name on my hat but you will wear mine on your goddamn forehead.

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison

He is such a legend.

C’est parti pour les séries ! @MetrosChampionsDuMonde 

Way to assert dominance

Shane's freckles @CosmosHottestHockeyBoy

I think it’s kind of cute how childish Shane becomes when Rozanov is around.

Shane Baby @Shanestitties24

It’s very ‘I go back to seventeen when I meet my High School friends’ coded

Secret apples @dontaskmeaboutmyfruit 

Well they did meet as teens, didn’t they?

Julia watches Hockey @Julia10426

Hollander just told Roz he’d buy him a drink as a consolation prize and Rozanov just told Hollander that he can be fun sometimes.

Julia watches Hockey @Julia10426

It’s official people, they’ve become friends.

Mighty Minnesota @SoarMyDucklings

Next time I’m visiting my Grandpa’s grave, I’m bringing him a blanket. You know, in case hell has truly frozen over.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive 

How will this affect the rivalry? Am I the only one worried?

New York New York @ BestAdmiralHunter

Okay, how on earth did Pike manage to win at darts against Hollander?

*Attached: Video of Shane and Ilya getting progressively more competitive at darts*

New York New York @ BestAdmiralHunter

I swear, neither has gotten anything but a bullseye since this started.

Mrs Hollanders do you take interns? @ IwantToBeBadass

I mean, I doubt Hollander was as serious about beating Pike as he is about beating Rozanov.

New York New York @ BestAdmiralHunter 

They moved to pool, should we be worried?

*Attached: Video of a game of pool between Ilya, Shane, Marleau and JJ*

Cliff Marl-OH! @MarlysBiggestFan

Hollander did not just elbow Marly on the face.

Moi aussi j'veux un Shane @ ShaneGirlieAndProud 

Marly should have given him space like he asked.

MontrealLife @cecilenotart

So we are not going to mention that Rozanov definitely tripped JJ there?

Go Raiders @jackhockey12

Dagenais dove!!

Katey @katekate4  

For those wanting to know the score, I have no clue because all we have is grainy videos of Rozanov and Hollander arguing about who won and how the other cheated.

Looking Respectfully @RozysBackCanFixMe

We have video evidence of Hollander blowing at Roz's neck when he was about to shoot a dart to distract him!

Hollandry’s daughter @TheyAreOnABreak

No we don’t, it was a trick of the light! Shane would not do this!

Hollandry’s daughter @TheyAreOnABreak

And anyway, Rozanov deliberately placed his glass where he knew Shane would need to rest his cue for the next shot, knowing the condensation would make that spot wet!

Looking Respectfully @RozysBackCanFixMe

Not everything has to be a master evil plan, you know?

24💕💕💕💕 @ShaneHollanbabe

Okay but these videos are the most fun we’ve seen Shane be/have at a bar.

Liar. Liar told you that @ChirpingIsLife

Roz too, man is so wrapped up in the games that he’s even ignoring the poor puck bunnies trying to shoot their shot with him.

Okay but you can’t deny it would be hot @MarnovDefender

Did Hayden Pike just buy Marly a drink? (It’s on the video with Dagenais and St Vic doing shots)

One More Cup @PartyingSince2014

Probably to show there’s no hard feelings after their fight.

Hockey mom @CleanGamesWinMore

A lot of sportsmanship tonight, from both the teams, actually. It’s nice to see,

That's our Captain! @Raiders81

Who thought HOCKEY TRIVIA would be a good tie-breaker?

Do you want some Ace with that? @GimmeAStickToPokeYouWith

Connie. Here’s proof:

*Attached: Video of a very tipsy Connors trying to stop Shane and Ilya from arguing by proposing they decide who’s tonight’s winner with a trivia game.*

That's our Captain! @Raiders81

Okay, first of all: traitor, we all know Hollander has an edge here. Second of all, why?????

Sarah @futurejournalist87 

Is it really a trivia competition if it’s just them taking turns to ask questions to each other?

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Like how are they making sure the other isn’t cheating?

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear 

They are all wasted at this point. Rules and points systems may not be at the forefront of their minds.

Kay @stuuffabooutliife 

Hollander questions: Who was the Cup winner in 1995? 

Kay @stuuffabooutliife 

Rozanov questions: which Toronto player is in the middle of a nasty divorce, about to lose his house and has just been diagnosed with an STD?

Lesbians do it better @WatchWomensHockey

I’m concerned that they both have, so far, known the answer to every single question.

STOP WHINNING AND GO TO WORK @TiredOfAllTheseLazyKids 

Didn’t peg Hollander for a gossip.

Metros Dynasty @metrofan1975

Didn’t peg Rozanov for a nerd.

Shanon @tampababe

I’m enraged that someone cut off the video and I don’t know which Tampa player had a childhood teddy bear named ‘Mr. Fluffington the fourth’. The people (me) deserve to know!!!!!

Hell yeah butifarra @Idontgohere

Well, Boston plays Tampa in two weeks, I’m pretty sure we’ll have our answer then.

Arthy @curiousandtired 

Love that the other players keep trying to chip in with their own questions and every time Roz and Hollzy immediately answer them in unison before telling them ‘too easy’.

Harassed Intern @IReplacedMyBloodWithCoffee

Rich coming from two guys that have still not managed to ask something the other one does not know.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive 

So I guess the rivalry is doing just fine.

FREE ME @atworkandhatingit

Dear god, please do not let those two ever get their hands on a deck of cards.

Chapter 5

Ilya is drunk

He is drunk and he’s had exactly one glass of vodka tonight. He’s not even sure he finished it.

Who would have thought that Shane Hollander would be more intoxicating than any drink he’s ever had?

(He’d have thought that, he’s known it for a fact for years now. It scared him enough to avoid Shane for six months straight, once.)

He knows he’s probably being obvious, that his delight must be written in capital letters across his face (both stupid latin ones and in cyrillic), clear as Shane’s autograph in his forehead, but he truly cannot help it.

Shane is here. With Ilya’s friends. Playing with Ilya. Helping celebrate Ilya’s win. Smiling at Ilya. 

In public.

He’d never even dared to hope…

Shit, how on earth is he supposed to go back to being ‘enemies’ tomorrow?

Can they launch the charity already? It’s only like a year ahead of schedule!

(This is all Hayden Pike’s fault, Ilya is sure of it, convinced by the stupid self-satisfied grin the man is wearing. It’s probably some sick revenge for the way Ilya chirped him last time. He’s figured out that the worst thing he can do to Ilya is to give him everything he’s ever wanted and then take it all away.)

Because he’s the thing: Ilya’s too happy.

And suddenly that makes him feel profoundly unhappy.

Because the night is going to end.

And sure, he still has amazing sex to look forward to (he’ll probably be able to convince Shane to wear his game jersey the way the night is going) but after that and hopefully some cuddles, the night will end.

And Ilya will have to go back to asking reporters if Shane is a goalie. Like he doesn’t know Shane, like he doesn’t follow his career, his every move, obsessively and has done since ‘that’s not going to happen’.

Why on earth is he thinking about that right now?

He should be enjoying this while it lasts, not wasting his time on maudlin thoughts!

But he cannot.

Suddenly he needs to leave.

How stupid is that?

He needs to leave paradise because he’s afraid he won’t be able to return once he does.

Talk about moronic choices.

And yet he smiles, and says something about needing to go to the bathroom.

He will take a moment.

Just one minute to gather himself.

And then he will come back and make this the best damn night of Shane Hollander’s life.

(Maybe if he does, Shane will want to repeat it some day?)

He checks the stalls to make sure he’s alone, the last thing he needs is a headline reading ‘Partying with Hollander made Boston’s Captain cry in a public bathroom’, and then he braces himself on the sink and just breathes deeply.

He looks up at the mirror and Shane’s name is there. Marking him. Mocking him. A stark reminder of what he is. Of what he has to hide. He’d been so fucking happy when Shane had scribbled it on him. Happier to realize the barely disguised smugness of his boyfriend every time he looked at it and the way he’d glared at some poor girls that had asked him for his autograph right after.

Shane Hollander wants him all to himself, and Ilya’s got the proof of it stamped on his forehead. (For one single crazy moment he contemplates tattooing it, surely he could convince someone to dare him to?)

And yet, everyone has told him that he’s a ‘good sport’ for not removing it. Like they think Ilya does not want it. When he said he was going to the bathroom, Connie had gestured to his own forehead and raised an eyebrow in question. Does he think he’s here to remove it? Remove the one thing that proves that he’s Shane Hollander’s, that Shane Hollander wants him?

Should he remove it?

If they are expecting it and he doesn’t, they may get suspicious.

Shane does not like it when people get suspicious, he worries a lot.

With some reluctance, Ilya turns on the tap but, before he can convince himself to wipe Shane’s autograph off, the door of the bathroom opens and Shane  himself enters the room, closing the door quickly after himself. Ilya turns off the tap, feeling extremely relieved.

Suddenly and just for half  a second, he’s transported to Vegas and their clothes transform into suits. Except that Shane is not angry at him and Ilya’s not just now realizing that he’d royally fucked up, that Shane’s silence had not been him playing hard to get like he’d done for the two years prior (or a sign that he’d already gotten what he wanted from Ilya and had decided to move to less problematic targets), but a genuinely hurt reaction to everything that had gone down in Socchi.

“Hey,” Shane says and he’s smiling almost bashfully. 

“Hi,” Ilya answers, and for all the storm of feelings he has inside, he cannot help but break into a dopey smile. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Shane snorts. 

“You’ll have a harder time getting me to beg you when I know both our teammates will notice we are gone in about two minutes,” he warns him.

So Shane is thinking of Vegas too, that may bode well for Ilya, once they return to the hotel. For all the hurt of that night, the way they both ended up feeling empty and broken afterwards, the sex had been spectacular and he wouldn’t mind a repeat performance.

“Is that a challenge?” Ilya asks because, really, a harder Shane will probably still be pretty easy. Shane looks like he’s actually considering it and, much like in Vegas, Ilya has to force himself to be responsible for once, “How long till Pike and Dagenais decide I’ve kidnapped you to do awful, awful things to you?”

“Hayden saw me follow you into the bathroom so he’ll probably make sure no one bothers us for like five minutes?” Shane says and Ilya can see him calculate if it’s enough time to do something.

It probably is, but being Shane Hollander’s boyfriend has spoiled him and he doesn’t want today of all days to end in a quickie in a filthy bathroom.

“What’s with him tonight?” he asks, both to move the conversation away from any sexy topics and because he’s kind of baffled by Pike’s behaviour. It’s almost like…“He’s helping us?”

“He is,” Shane looks as bewildered as he himself feels. “I think he’s trying? I don’t know. He told JJ some of the truth? Like that we are close and we want to start a charity. It freaked me out, but it worked? Well, I think JJ only believed the charity part but…”

“But he was good about it?” Ilya checks. He’s not exactly thrilled that Pike shared the news of their charity with a third party without asking them first, especially since the project is still in the conception stages and could be derailed extremely easily. But he’s not going to nitpick if it actually helped get them here tonight.

“Yeah, he was!” Shane nods. “JJ thinks we want to have a public friendship so the charity doesn’t look like PR and he wants to help. He said it would be better if it was all of us. Like me and my guys and you and yours. Like a group friendship? He says it would sell it better.”

Sell a fake friendship so their charity that they’ve invented so they can have a public friendship doesn’t seem fake? Ilya wants to laugh.

Still, it gets him more time with Shane so he will happily play along. “So the bets…”

“That was Hayden's idea,” Shane shrugs. “But it makes sense, right? What other reason would our fans accept for us to be hanging out together? They seem to expect blood every time we have to share a fucking room!"

It pains him to admit this, but it is a good idea. 

Which begs the question, “Pike thought of this?”

Shane blinks adorable. “Yes?”

“Uh,” he says. “Didn’t know he could do this. Thought Jackie did his thinking for him, maybe the twins when she was busy with more important stuff.”

“Ilya, be nice,” Shane chastises him and Ilya wonders if he knows just how insincere he sounds. He should maybe try to keep his eyes from sparkling every time Ilya chirps if he truly wants him to stop. “He’s helping us.”

That gives him pause because, “Yeah, he is.”

That’s more than he had ever expected to be honest. And it gives him some hope for this year that so far has been the best (when he’s in the same city as Shane) and the worst (when he’s not) of his life.

Still, he has Shane alone for the first time in weeks, and he’s wasting his time talking about Hayden Pike?

Unacceptable.

Ilya pushes himself away from the sink.

“So you liked my goals tonight, Hollander?” he asks teasingly (and carefully doesn’t examine how tight his stomach feels while he waits for an answer). “Which one was your favorite?”

Shane rolls his eyes, “Not the one where you used a play from fucking Juniors, asshole.”

“You liked it,” Ilya decides. “And you liked it when I used it in Juniors too.”

“You used it to beat me!” Shane protests.

“Yeah, and you were very impressed,” Ilya nods, remembering the mix of outrage, awe and determination he had seen on Shane’s face back then. “And also mad that I had impressed you.”

Shane shakes his head with laughter in his eyes, but doesn’t deny it. 

“If you must know,” he says like he’s not dying to volunteer this information. “My favorite was the second one.”

“Oh?” It’s what Ilya’d already suspected but it’s nice to have it confirmed. “The one where I used the coolest move invented this decade?”

Shane looks away, pink in his cheeks, “I told them not to tell you this.”

“Shane,” Ilya says almost chidingly, because, really, what was he expecting? “The second I was off the ice I watched the whole thing.”

“You did?” 

How can Hollander be surprised by this? Wouldn’t he do the same if Ilya had been the one livestreaming? 

“I made my boys watch it too,” he confirms. “I told them a hundred times the things you say in the video, but only now they want to fix them. You made a mistake, Hollander, the Raiders will be twice as strong this season, thanks to you.”

“Twice as strong and still not strong enough,” Shane says with a shrug.

Then he bites his lips, looks away for a second and returns his gaze to Ilya, almost shyly.

“Still, more than strong enough to defeat the Admirals,” he admits, softly. “Ilya you were… you were incredible tonight. I loved watching you.”

Hollander could have just shot him if he wanted him dead.

Ilya finds himself feeling fuzzy and his face is definitely heating up. He must look like an idiot but there’s no way he can reign in his expression after hearing that. Especially not when Sahne looks so damned pleased with himself and so adoring at the same time. 

Resigning himself to being stupid, Ilya throws all caution to the wind and walks towards Shane, who just stands there, thumbs in his pocket and smiling like he had just been waiting for Ilya to do this.

Waiting for Ilya to get his hand under his jaw and tilt it up and…

The bathroom door opens.

Ilya and Shane spin around, making sure to put some distance between themselves.

“There you are!” Marly shouts and Ilya reminds himself that murdering his alternate would not be a good look (also probably not a good idea when the season has already started). “Been looking for you man! JJ here thought you had left with a girl but I told him, no, he would not do that to his Jane. No way.”

Oh fuck.

He feels his cheeks heat up a bit.

Hollander, the bastard, looks extremely amused, and of course, he has to ask, “Jane?”

“Cap’s girl, man,” Marly explains to him. “He’s obsessed with her, I swear. Have been for years but he’s finally managed to lock her down.”

“Maybe she managed to lock me down,” Ilya finds himself grumbling tryign to regain some dignity.

“Nah, man, you’ve been gone gone on her since forever,” Marly says. “I always knew it was only a matter of her agreeing to actually date you. Which I tell you, if she didn’t want till now, then that’s her loss. You are an absolute catch.”

Shane chuckles and for once, Ilya doesn’t find that sound pleasing.

To make matters worse, and furthering Ilya’s humiliation, both Pike and Dagenais have followed Marly into the bathroom and are hearing his every word. Dagenais is frowning, probably wondering why the fuck Marly cannot keep his mouth shut, but Pike… Pike looks almost shocked and Ilya wants to growl at him to mind his own business.

“Maybe she didn’t know a relationship was on the table?” Shane says and despite the forced casualness, Ilya can hear his earnestly plain enough for it to mess him up a bit. “Maybe she thought it was not an option and never asked because of that. I’m sure she likes Roz as much as Roz likes her.”

He manages to sound conciliatory, despite dripping sincerity, like he’s only saying this to get Marly (who’s drunk more than he should) to calm the fuck down. But Ilya knows it’s meant for him. That Shane is telling him that, like always, they are the same. And he has to stop himself from kissing him silly. 

Marly, the idiot, doesn’t look convinced. “Don’t know man, I’m not sure about this girl. She dumped Roz last ye-”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Ilya interrupts, because really, Marly doesn't know what he’s talking about and also he doesn’t need Pike and Dagenais to be told about his crash out, thank you very much. Or worse, for Shane to have it confirmed. He’s got his pride, dammit! “Let’s get you some water, okay, Marly?”

“Okay, okay,” Marly says. “Just know that you could have any girl you want, okay Cap? Or like anyone really.”

Why did he add that last part?

Ilya feels himself freeze for a moment, and he doesn’t have to look at Shane to see that he has too. He recovers too quickly for anyone else to notice (he hopes), playing it off with a ‘sure, sure’ and herding Marly out of the bathroom but he cannot help but wonder what exactly he knows. Ilya did hook up with a guy or two during his first couple of years on the Raiders so it wouldn’t be completely impossible. But Marly never said anything! If he knows… 

If he knows he’s kept his mouth shut for years, Ilya reminds himself.

Up until now, at least.

But well, the only ones who heard him are Shane and Pike, who already know, and Dagenais, who Shane has assured him is ‘cool’ and who is now looking at him with something almost calculating in his eyes that Ilya very much refuses to acknowledge.

I too have been personally victimized by Ilya Rozanov

Marly

So funny thing happened last night

Connie

Yeah we know

Connie

We were there?

Hammy

Next time someone calls Hollzy a humorless robot I’m going to laugh at their faces.

St Vic

Told you JJ would not hang out with a bore

St Vic

We should invite them out next time they are in Boston

Hammy

For consolation drinks

Marly

No

Marly

I mean yes

Marly 

By all means, let’s invite them.

Marly

But I was talking about something else.

Connie

…

Connie

Are you really going to make us ask you what?

Marly

Would not kill you to show some interest

Hammy

So burger joint for breakfast?

Hammy

Need some grease to stop this damn hangover.

Marly

Seriously?

Hammy

Leyla and Jake told me I could eat burgers for breakfast if I have practice later!

Hammy

Not like all the time.

Hammy

But as a treat.

Hammy

I deserve a treat!

St Vic

Hell yeah you do

Marly

You all suck

Marly

But jokes on you

Marly

I’ll tell you anyway

Marly

Pike told me it was very cool we were helping Cap launch that charity.

Connie

What charity?

Marly

Oh so now you care?

Marly

Maybe I want some burgers now

Marly

Hammy where are we going?

Hammy

You are so petty, man.

Connie

We apologize or whatever

Hammy

Yeah, Marly, we are truly deeply sorry. 

Connie

Can you please tell us what charity, pretty please?

Marly

I want to keep torturing you

Marly

But this is too good

Marly

Also I think St Vic knows too and I don’t want him to spill the beans before I do so…

Marly

It’s the charity one Roz’s starting with fucking Hollander apparently

St Vic

Oh yeah

St Vic

JJ mentioned it too

St Vic

I was not 100% sure I had not dreamed it though

Hammy

Did we know about it?

Connie

I don’t think so?

Marly

No, the fucker did no tell us

Marly

But Hollzy told his boys apparently

Connie

So you told Pike we knew all about it, right?

Marly

Obv

Marly

Can’t have them knowing their captain trusts them more than ours trust us!

St Vic

Told you that if a man tells you ‘I love you’ all the time it means he’s cheating

St Vic

I read an article

Hammy

And we are all very proud of you.

Hammy

We just thought Cap would be different.

Connie

😢

St Vic

@Roz what do you have to say for yourself?

Marly

@Roz

Hammy

@Roz

Connie

@Roz

Roz

It’s way too early for this

Roz

You are all pretty and whatever

Roz

Now let me go back to sleep

Hammy

You are the youngest one here.

Connie

Not true

Hammy

You are the youngest one here except for Connie.

Hammy

And you left first.

Connie

After Hollander.

Hammy

And you left right after Hollander.

Hammy

Alone.

Hammy 

So stop whining.

Hammy

No way you are that tired. 

Hammy

You once pulled an all-nighter IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAYOFFS.

Roz

Did not count

Roz

Was against Tampa

Roz

And anyway, I left bar alone

Roz

I didn’t end night alone 😏

Marly

Now that’s a lie

Marly

We all know Montreal girl’s got you locked down

Roz

I’ll tell you secret, Marly

Roz

Montreal girl is allowed to leave Montreal

Connie

Really?

Connie

Thought she was bound there like a ghost or something

Connie

You know since she never comes to visit you in Boston

Roz

He does so visit me in Boston

Roz

*She

Hammy

Prove it by introduce us to her next time

Roz

No

Roz

Can’t have her running away screaming at the sight of your ugly mugs

Roz

Jane is for me only

St Vic

She may get tired of being treated like a dirty secret, Cap

Roz

No, no

Roz

She is okay with it

Roz

I’m her dirty secret too

Marly

So romantic…

Roz

???

Marly

Nothing man

Marly

If you’re happy and all that

Connie

So the charity?

Roz

Yeah, that’s happening

Hammy

Since when do you do charity?

St Vic

He spends like entire weekends at animal shelters?

Hammy

So he can pet the dogs!

Hammy

That’s not charity.

Connie

I mean the dogs do tend to get adopted a lot faster after being papped with Roz.

Hammy 

And Roz throws a tantrum every time.

Hammy

So it’s clearly not his objective.

Roz

I do not throw tantrums

Roz

I’m not small child

Roz

I just think it’s rude to take away my new friends

Connie

Pretty sure most bostonians would welcome you at their home if you dropped by to pet their pets

Roz

But then I would have to make small talk with fans

Roz

And I’d be at their home, so no escape

Marly

Yeah

Marly 

That sounds rough

Marly

What was that Tommy guy address again?

Roz

Marly stop pretending you aren’t thrilled someone cares about defensemen

Hammy

Do we get more details about the charity?

Roz

Sure

Roz

Is for mental health

Roz

You are all going to spend a week this summer coaching kids

Roz

Now leave me alone

Connie

I have plan tickets to Europe for the summer

Roz

I’m sure they will give you refund

St Vic

Ok, since we all knew Roz would be 0 help I’ve contacted JJ

St Vic

He says to meet at his friend’s restaurant in an hour

St Vic’

His friend is closing the place for us and making us breakfast (yeah, Hammy, there will be burgers)

St Vic

Hollander and Pike will be there too

St Vic

Address

Connie

👍 

Hammy

👍 

Marly

👍

Roz

👍  

Roz

Now stop bothering me

Roz

I have an hour and I intend to use it well

Roz

Take any gossiping to the secret group chat without me

Connie

THIS was the secret group chat without you

Connie

You made us add you to it because you wanted to know what we said about you.

Roz

Was rude to exclude me when you talk about my favorite topic.

Roz

But now for real: shush

Roz

 See you in an hour.

Chapter 6

So this is awkward.

Hayden knew he should have arrived fashionably late.

But no, he’d come ten minutes before the agreed time because Shane is always early and Hayden wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be stuck alone with the Raiders. Except that Shane is not here now and Hayden is the one forced to make small talk with Connors and Marleau.

Fucking great.

Even JJ, the traitor, has abandoned him. Apparently he just had to go ‘thank Pierre’ for the invite and has disappeared inside the restaurant after exchanging an awkward ‘hey’ with the Raiders.

“So,” he says and leaves it at that because what else is he supposed to say?

“So,” Connor responds, nodding at him, but it seems like he doesn’t know what else to say either.

“Roz is not here yet?” Marleau asks, he’s craning his neck to look around, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that this is fucking weird. “Maybe Montreal girl did come to see him then.”

‘Montreal girl’ is probably right now insisting that Rozanov hurries the fuck up because it’s one thing not to be early but Shane is absolutely never late.

Also Montreal girl? Really? There are two things wrong with that as far as Hayden can see: one, it implies that Shane is part of Rozanov’s fucking roster and two it’s obvious as all hell. Couldn’t Rozanov have said he was seeing his New York girl instead? That’s where they are after all! Or better yet, just not bragged about getting laid! He’s not going to lose his cred for retiring early once in his whole career!

“You say that like he’s usually on time,” Hayden points out because, really, Rozanov doesn’t strike him as the punctual type. Also he needs to quickly move the conversation away from ‘Montreal’ ‘‘‘girl’’’ before these two start connecting dots.

Connors and Marleau both chuckle at that, which Hayden doesn’t quite get, did he say something funny?

His confusion must show on his face because Connors clarifies, “Rozy’s dad was a military, I think. Or police, maybe? One or the other for sure.”

“Okay?” Hayden says, not sure why that’s relevant.

“He was a hardass,” Marleau tells him more plainly. “Definitely a ‘fifteen minutes before is on time, on time is late’ type of man. So Roz is never late and gives us a lot of shit if we are.”

His tone is almost kind so Hayden will make an effort and not interpret the expression on his face as condescension. Because really, what is he feeling superior about? Knowing Rozanov? They’ve shared a team for about a decade now, he better! (Come to think of it, what does Shane’s dad do for work? Something serious like accounting, right? Or is he a public worker? He’ll have to subtly ask later.)

“Unless he’s outright skipping curfew, of course,” Connors points out, and yeah, that does sound like the Rozanov Hayden knows. “But yeah, Roz has that Russian discipline down. If you are the type to leave socks around or to not make your bed every fucking morning, you do not want to room with him during roadies. He is going to judge you very loudly.”

Duly noted.

Not that different from rooming with Shane then. Except that Shane actually seems genuine when he asks Hayden if he forgot to set his alarm since he ‘only’ woke up at seven, on a day where they have an afternoon game.

“What are you whining about, Connie?” Rozanov’s voice comes from behind Connors, making him jump. (And Hayden too but he’s not going to admit that.)

“Roz!” Marleau says and he looks more startled than excited. “You are here.”

“So am I,” Shane says and Hayden wants to groan. Why are those two idiots showing up together?! “Hello.”

He waves dorkily and Hayden is suddenly reminded why he decided to make this man his best friend.

“I’m not whining, I’m just saying you don’t have to go all tsar on my ass every time we room together,” Connors is grumbling, very clearly still holding a grudge. 

“When have I ever?” Rozanov asks, looking completely surprised. “I always tell you it’s good that you are confident enough to be a slob in front of your captain.”

“That does take guts,” Shane nods, seriously. “And bad judgement.”

“It has made me question how I can trust him to put some pucks in the net when he cannot even put socks in hamper, I’m not going to lie,” Rozanov admits. “But it’s his life so I let him make his own mistakes.”

“See this is why you always end up having to share with the rookies,” Marleau tells him. “The rest of us know better.”

“I haven’t been a rookie in three years,” Connors reminds them, suddenly very defensive for a guy that was just whining about what a terrible roommate Rozanov is. “And I still share with Cap.”

Oh, so he’s a suck up, then. Hayden will remember that, it may be useful during games.

“That’s a good point,” Marleau nods, turning his attention to Connors. “Do you enjoy the nagging? Or is it the being woken up at four am when he returns from a hook up that does it for you?”

“It was more the fact that most nights he found other accommodations and I got the room to myself,” Connor shamelessly admits and suddenly Shane is looking like he swallowed a lemon. “But sadly that’s not the case anymore. Unless we are in Montreal, of course.”

And now Shane is beaming.

Okay, so he has no poker face to speak of (which is surprising considering how well he usually does when they actually do play poker).

And maybe letting him interact with Rozanov in public was not the best idea Hayden’s ever had.

The Raiders keep bickering while they all enter the restaurant, with Roz firing back all the reasons why he’s such a wonderful roommate and Marleau and Connors arguing that those are exactly why he is the worst.

Hayden tunes them out, though he’s relieved that other teams’ veterans also insist on sharing rooms, he was starting to worry he and Shane were weird. (He’ll have to remember to tell Comeau.)

Shane is following the argument along, looking thoroughly amused, and he keeps nodding when Ilya makes a point which probably bodes well for their future cohabitation or whatever. 

JJ is waiting with them inside with St Simons, Hammersmith (like rude? Why did no one tell Hayden that waiting inside was an option? He could have done without having to witness all of that) and a guy Hayden is going to assume is Pierre the chef.

“Bonjour,” JJ says way, way to cheerfully for someone that definitely broke curfew last night.

He herds them effortlessly, making them stand in a semicircle around where he’s standing with Pierre and, critically, facing a table so full of so much delicious looking food that Hayden feels his mouth starting to water.

JJ claps his hands, getting their attention away from the food and back to him. “Here’s the deal, you animals. Mon ami Pierre will take a picture with us and we will all sign it so he can hang it on his wall and use it to promote his business. As a thank you, he will allow you to eat the best breakfast you’ve ever had in your sad, lonely lives. Any objections?”

Hammersmith raises his hand, “If we shout out your joint on twitter do we get extra fries?”

Pierre smirks at him, clearly appreciating the entrepreneurial attitude, but shakes his head,

“Only if you post a pic of your captain eating my food and tag him,” he answers, cordially. “I need the post to actually reach people, man.”

Hammersmith laughs goodnaturedly and points with his head towards Shane, “Then that’s the one you need.”

“Traitor!” Roz gasps. “Hollander’s accounts are a disaster. They are, what’s the word, like a desert?”

“Barren,” Shane quickly offers up. Then he smirks. “And yet I still have more followers than you.” 

“Yeah, more people for you to bore to death,” Rozanov tutes. “No gym pics, no shirtless content, no glasses.”

That’s absolutely a list of requests, Hayden has to try very, very hard not to roll his eyes at Rozanov’s shamelessness.

But wait, glasses? Like the reading glasses Shane sometimes wears? How are those hot?

“Not all of us need to rely on thirstraps to get views, Rozanov,” Shane says, like Hayden hasn’t lost count of how many times he’s caught him going through Rozanov’s socials. And worse, zooming in. 

“Your fans would appreciate it,” Rozanov says, proving that he’s about as subtle as Shane is. And that’s definitely the face Shane makes when he’s considering something, isn’t it? 

Hayden sighs and silence falls across the room, no one knowing how to follow up that remark which only makes the implications hang heavier in the air (or is that just Hayden? Do the rest genuinely not see what’s happening here?)

Pierre blessedly breaks the tension, sighing sadly and giving Shane a very obvious once over, “I would love to have a Hollander shout-out, but sadly I doubt he’d accept fries as payment.”

And oh, this was one of the friends JJ wanted Shane to meet, right? One of the ones he thought Shane would ‘get along with’. 

With this in mind, Hayden inspects the guy critically. He is handsome enough, and he seems nice so far. Also, if being friends with JJ has taught him anything, it is that the restaurant industry is even more cutthroat than their own field (and they literally wear blades on their feet). So the guy must be resourceful, driven and competent to have made it so far. Like having a restaurant in New York City is obviously an achievement, isn’t it? And Shane does like a successful man.

But considering the way Shane only laughs awkwardly at the comment, says a very insincere ‘Sorry’, and immediately returns his gaze to Rozanov, the guy is definitely not his type.

And Hayden… Well, Hayden cannot blame him, really. He himself doesn’t like guys but even he can see who the hottest option is here. Not to mention that, after last night, he’s pretty sure that Shane’s flirting methods are only survivable by a chosen few, (hell, maybe even just the one guy). Pierre doesn’t look like he’d be able to go ten rounds on darts and maintain complete focus during all of them. And he probably doesn’t even know which goalie is leading the season in saves! Yeah, Shane will never go for him.

Hayden shakes his head and tries to not feel too smug about how much better his own attempt at wingmaning is going. (And yes, it still totally counts as wingmaning even if Shane is already dating the asshole).

And speaking of the asshole, Shane may have not noticed the flirting, but Rozanov clearly has. He slips a hand over Shane's shoulder in what Hayden suspects is supposed to be a friendly gesture but very clearly reads as: ‘mine, back off’.

Pierre’s eyes widen in realization and Hayden wants to scream. How have these two idiots not gotten caught yet?

“Now, Hollander,” Rozanov crows way too close to Shane’s ear (not that Shane seems to mind all that much considering he’s leaning into it). “That’s not very nice of you, is it? Not when Pierre here has cooked us such a great breakfast. Tell you what, Pierre, if you manage to feed my pack of jackals enough food that they end up having to nap on the way home, saving me from their yapping, I’ll make sure there are photos of Hollander and me enjoying your food together. That’s the best publicity you are going to get, at least if you are sticking with hockey players.”

He finishes it with a wink, because of course he does.

Pierre laughs, apparently charmed (what is wrong with gay men? Is Rozanov really that smooth?) and makes sure to check Rozanov out too, far more obviously and slowly than he had with Shane.

“If you make a caption about my food being worth setting rivalries aside for, I will feed you both anytime you are in New York,” he promises warmly.

And unless Hayden is very much mistaken, that invitation is not just for a meal.

This time Shane does catch the flirting because he glares at the poor man, 

“That’s all right, we wouldn’t want to overstep,” he says a bit overly curtly.

Pierre eyebrows go up but he just shrugs goodnaturedly.

Hayden slowly turns to look at the Raiders, they don’t seem to have realized anything is going on here. Then he looks at JJ, he is looking at Shane with a frown but it doesn’t seem like he’s put two and two together. Finally he turns his attention to the lovebirds, Rozanov looks ready to propose and Shane’s not so secretly smug and far too calm, does he really think he’s been subtle?

Hayden makes a mental note to broach the subject of discretion with him but to leave out the part in which Pierre has very much clocked them. Shane does not need to have a meltdown in the middle of a roadie.

Christ, and he thought raising toddlers was hard work!

After what feels like an eternity (getting a pic that everyone was happy with was a chore), they are finally allowed to sit down to eat. Shane and Rozanov don’t even pretend to consider sitting apart. In fact, Shane actually pulls out the chair a bit for Rozanov to sit, which like, very gentlemanly of him but so not the time or place?

To Hayden's astonished awe, everyone continues to act like this is normal.

(Is Hayden a genius? Does he have goalies’ eyes? Or are all his friends completely and utterly stupid?)

The food is, as expected from a JJ rec, absolutely delicious, and there’s enough to feed a whole team of hockey players so the eight of them eat until they are full to bursting. Pierre obviously knows his craft because most of the dishes on the table are things that their nutritionist will approve of and Shane seems to be pretty happy about actually getting to sample some variety for once, though it probably helps that Rozanov keeps putting stuff Shane ‘just has to try’ on his plate. (And it all mostly fits his diet? Since when does Rozanov know what Shane eats during the season?)

Once the meal is done, Marleau clears his throat.

“So are we going to discuss the charity?” he asks. “Because fun as this has been, I imagine last night was not purely pleasure for you, guys.”

Shane blanches a bit at the phrasing and Hayden cannot be sure, but he thinks Rozanov presses his leg against his under the table to reassure him.

“Sure,” Rozanov says easily. “What do you want to know?”

Marly shrugs, “For starters, what about us coaching kids is supposed to be good for their mental health?”

“Wait, we are coaching kids?” JJ asks, looking surprised.

“What does mental health have to do with this?” Hayden himself wants to know.

Suddenly the raiders all look unbearably smug and Hayden is reminded of why he’s punched every single person in this table sans JJ and Shane. Wait no, sans Shane, there was that time in Baltimore where he and JJ got too drunk and started arguing if Jackie was amazing or AMAZING. Or maybe Hayden had been arguing that while JJ rambled on about wanting pancakes? The memory is a bit blurry. In any case, JJ’s response (or lack of?) had pissed Hayden off and they had both ended up with a black eye.

“Didn’t Hollander tell you?” Connors asks innocently, the snake. “The charity is for mental health issues.”

“Yeah,” Hammersmith nods. “We are all coaching kids this summer to make sure they are happy, I guess?”

“No,” Rozanov corrects, but he sounds unbearably fond. “We are coaching kids to raise money for mental health associations."

“Oh, that’s good,” St Simmons nods. “Because I signed myself up to a psychology course online last night but I was not sure I would have finished it by the summer.”

“Wait, this summer?” Shane asks, looking confused. “I thought we said the next one?”

“I mean I think the public has been reacting well enough to your ‘friendship’ to launch it this summer,” Connors says, and he does the air quotes which is very funny but Hayden is the only one in this table with enough context to realize it.

“Yeah, that friendship reveal was pretty much not planned,” Shane admits. “Hayden and I just got really heated playing darts and I ended up losing the stupid bet… And well, you know how it is, I couldn’t back out, could I? Not in front of the team!” There’s a grumble of agreement since, well, they’ve all been rockies at one point or another and they know what pussying out does to someone’s reputation. “So JJ thought that we could use it to our advantage and start promoting the charity earlier.”

Hayden liked it more when the story was that he had thought of using it to their advantage but he supposes this whole meet up was JJ’s idea.

“Look, I don’t have to tell you that if Shane and Rozanov start hanging out on their own, the press and the fans will eat them alive, do I?” JJ asks, gesturing broadly at the guys.

“Oh yeah, there will be blood in the streets,” St Simmons agrees easily.

“But if the core members of the Raiders and Metros suddenly start partying together then the articles are going to be about how we are all such good sports and role models for keeping the rivalry on the ice, won’t they?” Hammersmith says knowingly, nodding at JJ with approval. 

If Hayden's not mistaken, Hammersmith’s the oldest one here and has been on his fair share of teams before he landed on the Raiders. He’s also quite infamous for that one time where he punched his own teammate in the face during a game, breaking his nose and several of his teeth, and then somehow managed to convince the press that he was the victim and it was the other guy that had broken the bond between brothers the press had spent three seasons pushing for them. To this day, Hayden doesn’t know what happened or what was said, only that ‘poor Hammy’ was provoked and that the other guy got traded to Tampa. Which is to say that if he thinks JJ’s onto something, then JJ probably is.

“Exactly,” Shane says, quick as always to capitalize on any opportunity presented to him. “It’s going to be good press for all of us. And Ily-Roz and I can launch the Irina foundation without anyone making a fuss about it.”

“Sounds good,” Marleau nods. “Out of curiosity, what was the original plan then? Maybe we can still use some of it.”

Shane and Rozanov look at each other before Rozanov turns back to them and shrugs.

“Just a presser,” he says simply.

“What do you mean just a presser?” JJ asks, sounding completely incredulous.

“I mean a presser,” Rozanov repeats. “You know, call a bunch of reporters, feed them a story, answer annoying questions. A presser,”

Marleau groans and Hayden can’t blame him. Hammersmith is shaking his head in disappointment and Connors is pinching the bridge of his nose. St Simmons is still too busy with the cupcakes to pay them all much mind.

“Your plan was to do a surprise press conference and announce you are friends and have a charity together?” Connors checks, clearly trying desperately to get a no. “Without being seen together in public beforehand? Without any of us knowing anything?”

He gestures around the room which contains both captains’ favorite defensemen and wingers.

Shane blinks, “Yes?”

This time the groaning comes from all of them, not just Marleau.

“That’s an awful plan, Capitane,” JJ informs him.

“It would have looked so fake!” Connors whines.

“People would have thought that Roz had killed someone and needed the PR,” St Simmon predicts, between bites.

“I mean, yeah, that would have been the most obvious explanation,” Hammersmith nods and Hayden makes a note to follow up later on their perception of Rozanov murderability. Not like the chance he gets murdered, Hayden knows for a fact it is high and rising every time he opens his mouth, more like the chance of Rozanov murdering someone else.

JJ is not sold on this fake scenario because he wants to know, “Why would Shane get involved in that, though? It’s not like he cares if Rozanov rots in prison."

The pained yelp that Shane cannot truly hide belies his words but the others are too busy despairing over ‘the plan’ to notice.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but your boy here does have a reputation for being a bit of a pro,” Hammersmith tells them apologetically. “No shame, Hollzy, you get that bag! But man, you promoted those godawful energy drinks that tasted like piss and had insane amounts of both sugar and caffeine in them, so you obviously don’t mind lying on camera if you are paid well to do so.”

Shane shrugs, accepting it easily, and he reaches out to grab the water jug, not so subtely flashing them his fucking Rolex.

“I wish someone would pay me to lie about how good a shitty drink is,” Connors sighs, looking enviously at the watch.

Shane turns to him. “Who’s your agent?”

“What?”

“You are very boy next door type, and from Minnesota, right?” Shane asks him. “I’m sure there are some businesses there that would love to slap your face on their stuff. You know, the ‘local lad that’s made it big but still appreciates the things from home’ narrative. And once you get your face out there, new offers are easy to come by.”

Connors looks genuinely touched, “That’s actually a cool idea, man, I’ll ask around. Thanks.”

“No big deal, if you need more help, you can get a consultation with my mom, she’ll be able to point you in the right direction,” Shane says.

“She’s very good,” Rozanov nods.

Which of course, leads to:

“What?”

“How would you know?”

“He’s met your mother?”

(Yes, the last one is Hayden. No, he is not proud of how high his voice gets.)

Still he has to recover quickly since, for once, Rozanov doesn’t seem ike he’ll be able to salvage the slip and Shane has frozen solid . It looks like it’s up to Hayden to fix this. 

“Oh yeah,” he bullshits and has his voice always sounded like that? “She signed Rozanov on during the summer, yeah? Gotta admire that woman, was not enough to corner Reebok, she also wanted Adidas.”

Shane nods, looking extremely relieved and grateful. 

“Yeah, mom’s been bored lately so she asked me if she could take on new clients,” he confirms, a lot surer-fotted now that he has a story to latch onto.

“And you went with Rozanov?” JJ asks, looking a bit betrayed. “I’d have loved to have her represent me!”

“Sorry, Dagenais, Yuna Hollander only works with the best,” Rozanov says with a wink.

Shane is far more apologetical, “You know my mom, she’s very ‘go big or go home’. And between you and me, he’s been itching to fix Roz’s brand since we were rockies. You don’t know how many times I’ve heard her rant about how his team was wasting his potential.”

“She had a lot opinions,” Rozanov nods gravely. “Had me fire all of them.”

“And you did?” Connors asks.

“They were boring old men and Yuna got me the YSL gig,” Rozanov shrugs. 

JJ still looks a bit hurt but he nods, “I guess that explains how the two of you got talking enough to come up with the charity.”

“Yeah,” Shane says, and Hayden can see him filing that under ‘official story’ in real time. “And man, I didn’t know you wanted to do ads, I’ll talk to my mom, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to work with you too.”

“It’s very fun, old suits pale when she clears her throat,” Ilya confides. “And I swear he made an executive cry, he said it was hay fever but that was aa lie.”

JJ snorts and nods, “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“And if your mother wants more clients…” St Simmon says, finishing by gesturing to himself and the rest of the raiders.

“My mom needs to sleep at some point, she cannot work for the entire league,” Shane grumbles. “But I’ll tell her you’d all be interested. Now maybe we can all focus on the Irina Foundation again?”

“That’s the name?” Connors asks, frowning a bit.

“I’m with Connie,” Hammersmith says. “I don’t see what Irina really has to do with hockey.”

“What’s an Irina anyway?” St Simmons asks. “Some type of flower?”

“It was my mother’s name,” Rozanov cuts them off, and Hayden has never heard him sound more unamused.

Marleau gasps, “You have a mother?”

The stupidity of the question seems to be enough to disperse the black clouds that had formed over Rozanov's head, at least.

“Yeah, Marly,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Obviously I have a mother.”

“You never mention her!”

“Maybe because she died when I was twelve?” Rozanov answers and fuck, Hayden had not known that.

“Oh, man, that sucks,” Marleay says, sounding very sympathetic. “How did she die?”

Ilya looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “I’m trying to start a charity about mental health, how do you think she died?”

“Oh,” is all Marleau says and Hayden honestly can’t blame him because what do you answer to something like that?

“Yeah,” Rozanov says flatly. “‘Oh’, so the name stays.”

“Sure, man, yeah,” Marleau hastens to nod.

“It’s actually a great name,” Connors nods.

“Very pretty, the ‘i’ sounds in particular are very pleasant,” Hammersmith agrees.

Rozanov rolls his eyes but he’s looking a bit pleased.

“That’s enough, boys,” he tells them. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

He is failing very hard at sounding unbothered, and Shane doesn’t even attempt to hide it when he places a comforting hand on Rozanov’s arm, he just does it over the freaking table, for everyone to see. (Okay, maybe this one is okay, like even Hayden is feeling like giving the guy some consolatory pats on the arm after that reveal.)

St Simmons is looking at them in confusion and for a second, Hayden is afraid that he has clocked them.

Of course, that’s when he opens his mouth to ask, “So how did she die?”

“Oh my good, she obviously killed herself!” Hammersmith yells and then he grimaces, ashamed at his own outburst.

Everyone turns to look at Rozanov, worried about his reaction but the man just shakes his head and gestures to his teammates.

“See, Hollander,” he says with fake resignation. “This is why I only have one Cup.”

Shane snorts and the rest follow suit and suddenly they are all clacking like this is the funniest shit in the world. (Hayden hopes no one is watching this because he’s pretty sure they all look deranged.)

Once they recover, Marleau reaches out and ruffles Rozanov's hair.

“I don’t know why you went to Hollander of all people with this, but it’s a very neat idea, Roz, you can count on us,” he promises.

Rozanov rolls his eyes but Hayden isn’t fooled, he saw him leaning into that head pat.

“I went to Hollander because when I say I want to start a mental health charity, he has a list of tasks to do and people he can call,” he explains, which seems reasonable enough. “Also he does not ask stupid questions and instead suggests naming it after my mama.”

This seems like a good enough explanation for the Raiders, except for Connors.

“That was after you explained how she died, right?” he checks. “Because otherwise it would have been a sick chirp but kind of mean.”

Rozanov snorts again and Hayden has to admit that he wouldn’t put such a comment past Shane on a bad day.

“Yeah, Connie, it was after I explained,” Rozanov promises softly.

“The idea is to have two camps, of a week each,” Shane explains, trying to redirect the conversation. He squeezes Rozanov’s arm one last time and then, very reluctantly, lets him go. “One in Montreal and one in Ottawa.”

Of course, the Raiders have opinions about that.

“What about Boston?” Marleau wants to know.

“Hell, what about the States? Why are you keeping it all to Canada?” demands Hammersmith.

“Taxes?” Shane ventures out, sounding pretty unsure.

“Easier if it’s all in same country,” Rozanov adds, nodding resolutely.

If they don’t want the Raiders to realize that Rozanov will be dumping them next season, they need to start offering more convincing arguments.

“Just hire a lawyer,” St Simmons recommends and Hayden can see Shane restraining himself from answering that he obviously already has a few.

“Yeah, and Cap, you need to put your foot down,” Hammersmith tells Rozanov who’s looking at him like he cannot understand the words he’s saying. “Even if he’s doing most of the work, you cannot let him decide everything!”

“Who says he’s doing most of the work?” Rozanov answers and this time, he looks genuinely offended. “And it was my idea too. Why would I want to spend my summers in Boston? Canada has jet skis.”

“Boston has jet skis too, idiot,” Marleau tells him.

Rozanov rolls his eyes, “Boston is crowded and hot. I wanna lounge in a cottage. Hollander, you have one, yes? With a lake and no idiot teammates?”

Hayden eyebrows raise to the root of his hair. Shane has invited Rozanov to The Cottage already? Shit, maybe he should start workshopping his best man speech (there’s gotta be a way to give one without going into detail about how much of an asshole Rozanov is, right?)

“Sure,” Shane says, with a half smile. “But you’ll have to pay rent.”

JJ chokes on the croissant he was munching on. 

“Okay, getting a cottage together would be kind of sick,” St Simmons says, unaware that his captain has basically just been proposed to. “Like a boy's trip but without the binge drinking because we’ll have to work in the mornings.”

JJ nods, but he’s still looking at Shane like he’s an alien. 

“I’m sorry, who said you’ll be welcome to our camps?” Rozanov says, clearly grumpy at his romantic getaway being crashed.

“I’ve already gotten a refund for my plane tickets,” Connors says, but Hayden has no idea of what he’s talking about.

Rozanov does though, because he looks kind of guilty and says, “…You know I wasn’t being serious, right? You don’t have to-”

“Roz, don’t be an idiot,” Marleau cuts him off. “If you are doing this, we are going to be coaching.”

“What he said,” Hammersmith agrees. “Also do you like do nepotism? Because my niece would absolutely love to go and I’m not above using our connection to get her in.”

“You’d have a better chance bribing me,” Rozanov answers dryly.

Hammersmith's face lights up at that, “Oh, great! That’s easy then. How much do you want Ten grand’s okay? I could throw in my mustang too. Clara is sick of having it take space on our garage.”

“HE WAS JOKING!” Shane all but yells. “We are not going to take bribes for our fucking charity. We can reserve one spot for coach or something like that, okay? I’ll ask my mom to ensure that’s over-board and everything. But please do not joke about our charity doing crimes.”

His freak out is very amusing but Hayden is more interested in the spots bit. Because like, he cannot send just one of the twins without the other, can he? And Arthur will probably want to go too. So that’s three spots and a prayer that by the time Amber can go, the twins will have grown out of it. But they won't if uncle Shane is involved (especially if Rozanov, the child whisperer, is in this too). So he is going to need four spots. That’s not asking much, is it? He can take JJ’s, he doesn’t have kids to bring! Shane doesn’t either, so that’s two extra spots. As for the missing one, well, if Shane is going to insist on sticking with Rozanov, then Rozanov is going to have to become an uncle to his kids, and that means that his spot will also be Hayden’s.

Around him, people are continuing their conversation without any regard for the calculations and strategies needed for bringing up four children. Hayden tunes in just to make sure he’s not missing anything important.

“He’s right, dude,” Connors is saying. “People are already going to say you are using it to launder money. Let’s not give the feds reasons to worry, eh?”

St Simmons frowns. “I don’t think the feds have jurisdiction in Canada? Wouldn’t it be the Mountie Police?”

Hayden tunes them out again, and starts working out if it will be better to send the girls and Arthur to the Montreal Camp, or somehow con Shane into letting them stay in the mythical cottage to be close to the kids while they attend the one Ottawa. After all, if the Raiders get an invite, it’s only fair Shane’s own linemate gets one too, isn’t it? And he and Jackie could definitely do with a small getaway.

He is rudely shaken off his daydreams soon after that, when the Raiders realize they have to start saying their goodbyes if they want to make it to their plane. It’s only then that Hayden notices that the strategy part of the meeting has ended up being ‘okay, so we are all friends now and need to hang out in public’ and little else.

Still, Hayden can see how happy Shane looks and even JJ seems like he’s having fun. In fact, when Rozanov thanks him for arranging the breakfast and calls him Dagenais again, JJ answers:

“It’s JJ, or no one will believe we are tight.”

“Oh, thanks god,” St Simmons says. “Please stop calling me St Simmons. It’s Vic, Vicky, St Vic or whatever. Just not that."

“Oke,” Rozanov says. “Then I prefer if you all stopped butchering my name and called me Roz or Rozy instead.”

Shane frowns. “How are we butchering your name?”

“It’s pronounced Ro-zA-nov,” he explains offhandedly. “Not, Ro-za-nOV.”

Shane freezes for a second and then he explodes: “YOU’VE LET ME MISSPRONOUNCE YOUR NAME FOR TEN YEARS?”

Needless to say, everyone agrees that they will stick to nicknames after that.

Shane Hollander Hockey Player @ShaneHollanderOfficial

Rivalries can drive you on the ice, but off it, the best fuel is good food and somewhat acceptable company. @PierreDeRésistance thank you for inviting us to your amazing restaurant this morning, best breakfast I had in years (and for being so great at accommodating dietary restrictions too!).

*Photography of Shane and Ilya sharing a fruit salad, Ilya is dipping his fork in dark chocolate with gleefulness while Shane looks on in amusement, eating his own fruit plain.*

Katia Life @dontcallmefuckingkaty

Oh my god?

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

I’m sorry, they ate breakfast together?

Hollandry’s daughter @TheyAreOnABreak

Oh, so they had a sponsorship together, that explains last night.

Katia Life @dontcallmefuckingkaty

No it doesn’t???

Don’t Perceive me @JohnnyReads

That food does look good though.

Shane The GOAT Hollander @metrosforlive

HOW ARE YOU FOCUSING ON THE FOOD? ROZANOV AND HOLLANDER HAD BREAKFAST TOGETHER!!!!!

Chirp Chirp Motherfucker! @CatchTheseSticks

‘Somewhat acceptable company’ lool

Chirp Chirp Motherfucker! @CatchTheseSticks

Yesterday I would have been surprised that Hollander was chirping on main.

Chirp Chirp Motherfucker! @CatchTheseSticks

Today I’m surprised he didn’t say anything worse.

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

Shaney, blink twice if they are holding you hostage.

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Poor baby, he must be hating this new PR angle his momager is pushing.

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

I’m not loving it myself.

ShaydenTruther @Andtheywere(hockey)roommates

Also why is she trying to tank her son’s career? Doesn’t she know that R*zanov reputation is cancer???

It’s HaySha Actually @VolunteeringAsShanesBeard

Money. When it comes to I*na H*llander, the answer is always money.

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

… Do you ever get replies so batshit insane that you start wondering if the people accusing you of infantilizing your fave may be right?

Montreal Nurse @metrosfan2983

It’s okay, love. Just block the(se) shaydens, and you’ll be able to  go back to making your posts about people being mean to poor Shane without having to confront the fact that your fave is an NHL Captain that once broke a guy’s nose on the ice in response of a ‘your momma’ joke.

Shane Defense Squad @Ijustthinkhesneat

We had a three goals lead and could afford the give them the power play ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

Okay, fine, I will book a table at that restaurant, the food has to be magical if those two managed to share a meal without bloodshed.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

Can you afford it?

Coffee, Books and more Coffee @GraduatingThisYear

If I eat plain rice for the rest of the month, yes.

Sarah @futurejournalist87

… your takes on finances never fail to astonish me.

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer

To the victor the spoils (Thanks you for the food, @PierreDeRésistance)

*Photography of Ilya playing keep-away with a small quiche while Shane tries to take it from him.*

Shane Hollander Hockey Player @ShaneHollanderOfficial

You are a child

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer

A child that got to eat the last quiche

Marly @Boston#7

We know

Connor x (1+s) @BostonRaidersConnorConnorsOfficial

Don’t forgive, don’t forget

ST VIC TO YOU @VictorStSimonOfficial

I TOLD YOU we should have divided everything at the start so everyone got the same.

Hammering All Day Long @BradHammersmithRaiders

Say the guy who stuffed his face with four mini-cupcakes so he could say ‘just the one’ when I asked if there was any left.

Shanon @tampababe

… Why are the other Raiders weighing in? Were they invited too?

I'm New here @babyhockeyfan

I thought those teams didn’t like each other?

I'm New here @babyhockeyfan

I’m so confused.

Where are your skates? @ExhaustedHockeyMom

I’d love to explain what’s going on to you, but honestly, we are all as lost as you right now.

Go Raiders @jackhockey12

Did Shane Hollander have breakfast with the old guard????????

That's our Captain! @Raiders81

Maybe they ran into each other by chance and they invited him to avoid being rude?

Boston Born and Raised @PissOff

We are not fucking canadians, our boys love being rude.

Liar. Liar told you that @ChirpingIsLife

Also of all the restaurants in New York they just happen to go have breakfast on the same one??

That's our Captain! @Raiders81

Look, I don’t know, I’m just guessing here! And it could have been the hotel restaurant, the league always books the same ones, doesn’t it?

Black and Gold since 1967 @DylanFromBoston

*That* does not look like the good old continental breakfast to me.

You didn’t hear it here, but… @HockeyyInsideMan 

BREAKING NEWS: rumors are floating about SHANE HOLLANDER (#24, Captain of the Montreal Metros) being traded to the BOSTON RAIDERS after he was spotted getting chummy with the Bostonian team over lunch.

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison

It was breakfast, not lunch.

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

THAT’s what you are correcting? Not HOLLANDER being TRADED??? TO THE RAIDERS??? Our GM is not suicidal, I think. And even if he was, there are far less painful deaths than being torn to pieces on the town square.

Olé Olé Olé Montréal @ LaCoupeàLaMaison

I panicked okay? There was too much wrong with the post and I didn’t know where to start!!

WE WANT THREE @metrosfan2983

You start with: Shane Hollander’s jersey will hang from the Bell Center’s rafters and saying otherwise will get you stoned in Montreal.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

I cannot believe our captain betrayed us like this!!!

Josh @mtrlfan703

Oh yeah, terrible of the guy, eating breakfast.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

With the fucking raiders! This is collusion!!

Josh @mtrlfan703

Dude, it’s not that deep. They went out together last night, someone probably suggested the joint and they agreed to meet up the following day to try it out.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

It’s unprofessional.

Josh @mtrlfan703

So you never go out to lunch with people from your field but other companies?

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

Not if it can endanger my company’s bottom line.

Josh @mtrlfan703

I highly doubt your company’s bottom line depends on who you eat with.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

I’m not Shane Hollander, though, am I?

Josh @mtrlfan703

You are most definitely not, on that we can agree.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

I just think it’s reckless of him.

Josh @mtrlfan703

What are you actually afraid could happen? They jump him in broad daylight? Poison his coffee?

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

Obv not, they are not that stupid. But what if he lets slip some team secret by mistake?

Josh @mtrlfan703

Oh yeah, the old ‘pass me the butter, by the way my LW is injured so we are moving a second-liner up and the plays aren’t quite clicking yet’ fumble.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

You are not taking this seriously!

Josh @mtrlfan703

Duh, I think you are deranged. Let the man eat in peace.

Just JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

Thanks to my good friend @PierreDeRésistance for inviting me and the boys for breakfast this morning. (And for helping me prove that I do know the best cook in NY to a bunch of non-belivers)

*Group photo of the Raiders, Metros and Pierre with the breakfast laid in front of them*

ST VIC TO YOU @VictorStSimonOfficial

Oh yeah, I’m totally willing to admit defeat on this one.

Marly @Boston#7

Btw, @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey I don’t believe you know the best chef in Montreal either. You should prove us wrong again. Let's say, after our game two weeks from now?

Hammering All Day Long @BradHammersmithRaiders

This was psychological warfare. Now I’ll spend the whole season craving those croissants with cheese and ham.

Connor x (1+s) @BostonRaidersConnorConnorsOfficial

You know they have them in other cities too, right?

Hammering All Day Long @BradHammersmithRaiders

Not like those, they don’t.

Just JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

I have a couple of places in Boston that I can recommend, Hammy.

Hammering All Day Long @BradHammersmithRaiders

I’ll bring you the good scotch next time we play Montreal.

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

Ahhh, Pike and Dagenais were there too, that’s fine then.

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

HOW???

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

Like not to agree with that guy, but why is this fine and Shane hanging with them alone isn’t?

3 Cups When? @ MetroSinceBirth

NONE OF THIS IS FINE.

Annual Centre Bell seat holder since 1979 @BestSeatsInTheBarn

I don’t know, just because? This feels less weird.

Cassandra @What’sGoingOnMetros???

You have a very strange mind.

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn

First Hollzy cheers for them and now JJ invites them for breakfast…

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn

I’m starting to believe the Metros like the Raiders more than us.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterOfficial

They are jealous because we got the Cup last year.

Marly @Boston#7

Ha

ST VIC TO YOU @VictorStSimonOfficial

Ha

Hammering All Day Long @BradHammersmithRaiders

Ha

Connor x (1+s) @BostonRaidersConnorConnorsOfficial

Ha

Shane Hollander Hockey Player @ShaneHollanderOfficial

Ha x2 (one for each Cup we have)

Just JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

Ha x2

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros

Ha x2

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer

The old man has jokes!

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn

No but seriously @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey invite me next time too! 

Just JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

Sure, man, and I’ll ask Pierre to get you a table for two if you want.

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn

Sweet, thank you!

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterOfficial

… Can I get in on this too?

Paris, Barcelona, Milan and… NEW YORK @PierreDeRésistance

Pierre, here. Hi Scott, I’m a big fan, please drop by whenever you want and have a congratulatory meal on the house for the hot trophy and even hotter boyfriend.

Laugh Live Hockey @hockeymomofthree

Come read my last article: All Stars Breakfast and the beauty of Sportsmanship.

Arthy @curiousandtired

It was one (1)  breakfast.

Harassed Intern @IReplacedMyBloodWithCoffee

Imagine being so famous that people write articles about who you share meals with.

What did I miss? @PerpetuallyTired

I miss when hockey news were about hockey…