Husband Shenanigans

Centaurs(Horse Face )(Growing Heart )

Ilya(Growing Heart )
Hazy
Hayes
Yeah?
Ilya(Growing Heart )
I need Lisa’s number
Hayes
What for
Ilya(Growing Heart )
No reason
Hayes
You are really convincing me to give it to you
Doesn’t Hollzy have her number?
Ilya(Growing Heart )
He will not give it to me
Hayes
He must have a good reason
He does
Ilya(Growing Heart )
It is life or death
No it’s not
Wyatt, you can ignore him
Ilya(Growing Heart )
No you can’t
Gimme
Hayes
I don’t know man, Hollzy said no
Ilya(Growing Heart )
I am your captain
Hayes
Sure
Ilya(Growing Heart )
You will give it?
Hayes
No
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Bood
Get me Cassies number
Don’t
Bood
Hell no, Roz
Ilya(Growing Heart )
I’m your captain
I will do scary things next time I see you
Bood
I don’t know man
Don’t give it to him
Bood
Sorry Roz, Hollzy is scarier
Thank you
Ilya(Growing Heart )
No he is not
Hayes
He kind of is
Ilya(Growing Heart )
You will take that back
Why would they if it’s the truth?
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Dykstra
Dykstra
What’s up?
Hazy
Read back
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Give me Cait’s number
Dykstra
Oh
Yeah
No
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Anyone here who thinks I am scarier then Shane?
Remember I am Russian!!!
Not anymore
You married me, remember?
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Yes, thank you for citizenship
Anyone?
Dillon
Nah man, Hollander is definitely the scarier one
He has that calm look, you know?
Chouinard
Agreed
Boyle
Absolutely
Young
Hollzy is scarier for sure
LaPointe
(Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points)
Holmberg
(Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points)
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Luca?
Don’t betray your dad, please
Haas
Neither of you are scary
Ilya(Growing Heart )
That is worse!
You are no longer my son
He is kidding Luca
Ilya(Growing Heart )
I am very serious
Okay sure
Hayes
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Bood
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Ilya(Growing Heart )
All of you have betrayed me
Bag skates on Monday
Hayes
Come on, Roz
Bood
Using personal problems for professional punishment is just cruel
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Whose fault is that
Ilya
Don’t take it out on them
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Hmm maybe you will help me with my problem then?
Definitely not
Ilya(Growing Heart )
You can all thank my husband for the bag skates

Ilya(Growing Heart )

Ilya
Stop bothering your teammates with this!
I have no other options(Crying Face )
It’s not that big a deal!
But I want to be a WAG(Crying Face )
You’re a player, you can’t be a WAG
So are you!
Yeah, but I was in the chat before I was a player
Would be weird to leave now
But I am your husband
Makes me WAG, no?
Fine
I’ll ask the girls and Harris
Thank you my sweet kind beautiful sexy husband 😊
Don’t thank me yet

WAGS+Harris+Shane(Growing Heart )

Ilya wants to be added to the chat
Don’t worry, I already said no
But he really wanted me to ask
Cassie
You could add him!
Since you’re now a player, he is also a WAG
Selena
Oh girl…
Cassie
What?
Lisa
You know with Roz in here, we wouldn’t get a moments rest, right?
Exactly!
Also, I am kind of enjoying being the only one of us in this chat
Selena
AWH(Loudly Crying Face )
Lisa
I’m going to cry(Loudly Crying Face )
Caitlin
Shane(Loudly Crying Face )
Lisa
But it is kind of mean to not add him?
Selena
Hmm, I don’t know
Don’t worry, he can handle it
And I’m wondering how long he will keep this up
Selena
Something tells me he is not going to let this go
Lisa
Same
Caitlin
We will hold out for as long as we can though?
Definitely
I’m not letting him win this one
Selena
Shane(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Cassie
I still remember the day I thought you were sweet
Lisa
Don’t know if I do, that was a long time ago
Sorry to disappoint
Selena
No one disappointed over here
Btw, can we make bets on how long Roz keeps this going?
Lisa
Good idea
Harris
We should make bets on how long Shane can keep this up instead
What?!
I can do this!
Harris
So you can’t be bought with sex?
Caitlin
Good point Harris, he definitely could(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Selena
OH, totally
Lisa
Absolutely agree
Remember when I said I enjoyed being in this chat?
You can forget that
Also I will be proving you wrong

Ilya(Growing Heart )

They said no
THEY said no, hmm?
I’m sorry
I am sure you are very sorry
Would love to have you in the chat, of course
But the girls said it would be weird, you being captain and everything
I think my husband is a very bad liar
I’m not lying!
Okay
I’m not
Okay
I will convince the girls I can be a WAG
How would you even do that?
I have some ideas
Like what?
I am not telling you
Come on
Maybe when you stop lying to me!
I thought you believed me
In Russia we say when people say they are not lying, they are lying
That doesn’t sound like a real thing
I will make it real, just for what you are doing right now
You’re annoying
You don’t know just how annoying I can be
I’m not sure I want to find out
Oh, maybe you can convince the WAGs then?
No
They won’t budge
We will see
They won’t budge!
Okay, I believe you
By any chance does Russia have a saying that says when people say they believe you, they definitely don’t believe you?
No
I do not know that one
(Unamused Face )

Centaurs(Horse Face )(Growing Heart )

Dillon
I am now officially locked down!
Hayes
Handcuffs?
Bood
Does someone need to get you out of jail?
(Growing Heart )
Ilya(Growing Heart )
I will do it
Wilson will handle everything fast
Hayes
Of course you know someone in JAIL
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Not in jail
He works there
Bood
Wow, that is so much better(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Dillon
What are all of you talking about?
I meant I have a girlfriend
Bood
Oohhh
Hayes
Really?
Dykstra
Must be a prank
Dillon
What the fuck?
I can promise she is a very real person
Ilya(Growing Heart )
What is her name?
Dillon
Okay, don’t judge please
Her name is Puck
Hayes
I’m sorry, what?
Bood
Puck like HOCKEY PUCK
Dykstra
This is not helping your case at all
Dillon
Hey, it’s not her fault her parents named her that!
I believe you, Dillon
And congrats!
Would you be so kind as to give me Puck’s phone number?
Dillon
Sure!
And thanks man
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Shane, why do you need Dillon’s supposed girlfriend’s number?
To add to the WAG chat
Why else?
Ilya(Growing Heart )
You add her and not me?
You do not even know her!
That is the whole idea
We can get to know her
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Good idea
Add me😊
Then I can get to know her too
I think one addition to the chat at the same time is enough
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Hmmm
I think you will regret this, sweetheart
Not my fault
Just the WAG rules 😊
Hayes
Brutal(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Bood
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Dykstra
(Face With Tears Of Joy )

Ilya(Growing Heart )

Shane
Yes?
Remember what I did last week?
I think you remember
Made you cry
I don’t know what you’re talking about
I think you do
Definitely don’t
I will help you
Started with you on your knees
So pretty begging for me
I wasn’t begging
Mmm starting to remember?
No
I carried you to our bedroom
Because I am very strong
Don’t exaggerate
I threw you on the bed
Like I said, very strong(Face Throwing A Kiss )
Fine
You like that I’m so strong
Maybe
Remember what happened after?
Letting you ride my face?
So pretty above me
Remember me fucking you with my tongue?
Tasting you
You taste so good
I remember
That’s what I thought
Want me to let you ride my face when I get home?
Yes
Yes what?
Yes please
Let me ride your face
Okay
If you add me to WAG chat
What?
Asshole!
Hmm I would love to taste yours
After you add me to the chat(Smiling Face With Horns )
Are you trying to bribe me with sex?
I am bribing you with really good sex(Face Throwing A Kiss )
Fuck you
Is it working?
No
Are you sure?
Yes
Okay
I will not eat you out then
Fine!
Fine(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Will see you tonight
(Tongue )(Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)(Peach )

WAGS+Harris+Shane(Growing Heart )

I’ll have you know
I just turned down sex
Ilya tried to bribe me
Lisa
He actually did???
Harris
I am surprised it took him this long
Selena
You didn’t have to turn him down, babe
Caitlin
God knows I wouldn’t have
I told you I would prove you wrong
Lisa
We are so proud of you(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Cassie
Well done!!!
Selena
So proud of you, Shane(Face With Tears Of Joy )
And I can’t let him win
Caitlin
Ah, there we go
Harris
This makes more sense
Lisa
It’s things like this that make me realize again how perfect they are for each other
Selena
Right?? (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Puck
Is this normal here?
Cassie
Yes
Caitlin
Yes
Lisa
Yes
Oh hi Puck
I’m sorry about that 😊

Best WAGs

Ilya(Growing Heart ) added you to the conversation
Ilya(Growing Heart ) added Lisa to the conversation
Ilya(Growing Heart ) added Cassie to the conversation
Ilya(Growing Heart ) added Harris to the conversation
Ilya(Growing Heart ) added Caitlin to the conversation
Ilya(Growing Heart ) added Selena to the conversation
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Hello
Shane promised to add me after I let him ride me 😊
But I think something went wrong(Crying Face )
So I made this chat
For ALL the best WAGs!!
Selena left the conversation
Harris left the conversation
Lisa left the conversation
Cassie left the conversation
Caitlin left the conversation
You left the conversation

WAGS+Harris+Shane(Growing Heart )

Selena
Shane
Lisa
I thought you said you turned down sex??
I did
But he was really trying to seduce me
It was too hard
Selena
I’m sure it was(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Not like that!
Selena
Okay(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Lisa
And then?
I kinda promised to add him
But obviously I didn't
Cassie
Babe(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
I thought Roz was supposed to be the asshole(Face With Tears Of Joy )
He still is
Ever since he found out I purposely didn’t add him, he has been withholding sex
It’s torture
Lisa
Oh no
Selena
Are you alive?
Barely
It’s really hard
Selena
Again, I’m sure it is(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Lisa
Selena(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
How long has it been going on anyway?
About 14 hours
I don’t know how long I can do this anymore
Lisa
FOURTEEN HOURS?
I know!
Too fucking long…
Lisa
That’s not really what I meant(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
You’re already going insane after fourteen hours?
Selena
I’d be lucky if I only had to wait that long…
It IS long, right?
Lisa
Sure!
Harris
Totally, Shane
Puck
I don’t know, I agree with Shane
Tanny and I do it every two hours
Fourteen seems like way too long
Thank you, Puck
Only one who can empathize with me apparently
Caitlin
Shane, you know there is this really simple solution…(Winking Face )
I AM NOT ADDING HIM

Centaurs(Horse Face )(Growing Heart )

Ilya(Growing Heart )
Shane (my husband) is being very mean to me
Hayes
Thanks for the confirmation there, Roz
Bood
Wow, Hollzy is your husband? This is brand new information!
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Yes, Shane is my husband and he has been very mean to me
This will give him some outside stimulation
Ilya
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Normally he likes outside stimulation(Smiling Face With Horns )
ILYA
Ilya(Growing Heart )
You know what you have to do, moya lyubov
This is not going to work
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Okay
Buttplug
Ilya, don’t
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Drove for two hours…
So excited to see me(Smiling Face With Horns )
Dillon
Can you please not do this in here??
Hayes
No reason to torture us too
Ilya stop
But Tanny, you have sex every two hours, how is this too much for you?
Hayes
TANNY?? (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Bood
YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLS YOU TANNY?? (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Dykstra
Yes, Tanny, how is this too much for you? (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Tanny, shut your idiot face
Now where was I
Shane, would you like me to tell them what we did on your birthday? (Smirking Face )
NO
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Only one way to stop me
Ilya, please no
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Was really fun
Shane bought something(Aubergine ≊ Eggplant)
Pretty big
Not as big as me of course(Smirking Face )
Hayes
Hollzy, please stop him(Loudly Crying Face )
Bood
This can’t be worth it man
Haas
Dad, save me, I don’t want to hear this
Ilya(Growing Heart )
But so fun(Smiling Face With Horns )
He wanted me to use it on him
And at the same time

WAGS+Harris+Shane(Growing Heart )

You added Ilya(Growing Heart ) to the conversation
Everyone welcome Ilya
Ilya(Growing Heart )
Ah, thank you my husband(Face Throwing A Kiss )
Hello everyone
It’s like coming home 😊

Ilya Best WAG

You changed the name of the conversation to Ilya Best WAG
Other name was stupid
Selena
Wow this is so much better
Right?
Shane💗
You are not even a WAG
??
I am??
Shane💗
You are not a wife or a girlfriend
Shane, what are you talking about?
I am your wife?
Shane💗
Please don’t call yourself my wife
I don’t want a wife
I am gay
Lisa
Shane, you’re gay?
Caitlin
What???
Selena
Really???
Shane💗
Ha ha
All of you are so funny
Selena
Thank you
Now can we come up with a better name?
What is wrong with this name?
Lisa
Do you have a minute?
Caitlin
Firstly, it’s just not true
Selena
You have been in this chat for a week
Lisa
No way you could claim the title of Best WAG
Selena
Secondly
If anything, that title is Cassie’s
She started the whole chat
Caitlin
I agree
Cassie
Guys stop😩
Harris
We could call it SAP’s?
Sounds gross
Shane💗
What does that mean?
Harris
Spouses and Partners
Shane💗
Oh
That could be good?
Selena
I agree with Ilya, it sounds gross
Cassie
How about WAG’s and HAB’s?
HAB?
Lisa
Husbands and Boyfriends
Caitlin
That would be a long name though
Selena
Our name before this was long😂
That is why I changed it
We can just keep this one
Shane💗
We are not keeping this one
You are not the best WAG
Ouch😔
Shane💗
You’ll get over it
Caitlin
We could combine it?
WHAGB’s
Why is wife first?
Selena
Two seconds ago you called yourself Shane’s wife
No comment
We will do HWABG’s
Shane💗
You can’t even say that out loud
When do I need to say this out loud?
Shane💗
When do you not say it out loud?
You yell that you are the best WAG literally every practice
And it has only been a week!
I do not
Lisa
While this is cute, I agree with Shane
We need to be able to pronounce the name
Selena
We can go with the first letters of all our names?
Caitlin
I'm sorry, are we in middle school??
Selena
Oh, you have better ideas Cait???
Caitlin
Not really
I have an idea
Shane💗
Please be normal
You changed the name of the conversation to Better Halves
Shane💗
Oh
Lisa
I like it
Selena
This is actually not too bad
I know
I am very smart
Shane💗
No one said that
You are mean
Shane💗
I'm sorry
You can fix it with kisses😘
Or something else
Lisa
There is such a thing as a private chat, you know?

Better Halves

Lisa
Work sucks today
Someone distract me please
Caitlin
I wish babe, but I am having a sucky day too
Selena
I have all three kids at home…
Need I say more?
Kids are fun!!
Caitlin
Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?
We had a break😊
Selena
Then why isn’t Nicky answering my texts?
He doesn’t have a break😊
Lisa
Please tell me you can distract me
I went on a date yesterday
Selena
With Shane?
Who else would I go on a date with?
Lisa
Was it fun?
Very romantic
We never went on a lot of dates
Selena
Oh
That’s sad😭
Lisa
Yeah, this is not cheering me up much
I will tell you about the date
That will cheer you up
Caitlin
We’re all ears
Shane was very romantic
He picked me up at the door
Looked very pretty
And he had flowers for me!!
Lisa
Wait, he bought you flowers???
Selena
OMG
That is so cute😭
Yes
Shane is a gentleman😍
He picked out the restaurant too
I did not need to do anything
Just show up and look hot
Selena
I bet you did
I did
Shane blushed
Lisa
He always blushes😂
I don’t know if that’s an achievement anymore
It is for me
I always want him to blush
He looks pretty with pink cheeks
Caitlin
AWH (Loudly Crying Face )
Lisa
You guys are so cute (Loudly Crying Face )
Selena
Where did you go?
Big restaurant
Very expensive
I do not know the name
I was distracted
Lisa
Not surprising
Yes, Shane was very handsome
He held the door open for me
Selena
Shut up😩
He did??
I felt like a princess
Caitlin
How was the rest of the date?
Lisa
Please, keep going

Shane💗

Ilya
Where are you
Bathroom

You went to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago
The guys are waiting
I am doing important stuff

What could be more important than practice at the moment?
Ilya?
Oh

Better Halves

We had good food
I* had good food
Me: Chicken parmesan of course
Shane: Green salad
Very gross
Selena
Salad on a date?
Yes
He stole half my food
Shane💗
He did not
Come back to practice
You don’t have a break
Lisa
Eh (Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
Ilya, babe I think you’re in trouble (Face With Tears Of Joy )
It is okay
I had a break
Shane💗
No
You took a break
You have been hiding out in the bathroom
Have not
Shane💗
Yes, you have
I was tired!
And Lisa needed my help😊
Lisa
Oh, don’t pull me into this
Selena
Don’t mind me
Just watching🍿
Shane💗
It’s not your fault Lisa
Ilya
Fine fine
I will come back
Shane💗
Good
Are you okay, Lisa?
Lisa
Yes, why?
Shane💗
You said work sucked
Lisa
Oh
Yes
But this has been very distracting so far
Shane💗
Good
And Ilya was lying😡
I did not steal his food
Caitlin
Was he lying about anything else?
Selena
Not the flowers, right?
Shane💗
No, he wasn’t lying
I did get him flowers
Caitlin
So romantic ugh
Selena
Do you always do that?
Shane💗
Not always
I just planned the whole thing
Decided to go all out
Never got to do that much before
Lisa
Did Ilya look handsome?
Shane💗
TOO handsome
I could barely keep my hands off him
Selena
How did you make it through dinner
Shane💗
We didn’t
We skipped dessert and went home
Selena
Hmm different dessert?? 😏
Shane💗
Maybe
Lisa
I am so jealous
Me and Wyatt haven’t had a date in ages
Shane💗
Work?
Lisa
Yeah
Always gets in the way
Caitlin
That sucks
Lisa
It does
Shane💗
Can you not ask for a day off?
Lisa
Sometimes
But I need to ask like four months beforehand
And Wyatt never knows his schedule
Shane💗
??
We always get our schedules more than four months in advance
Why doesn’t he know?
Lisa
Babe
It’s Wyatt
He forgets where his left hand is
Shane💗
I can send you the schedule from now on
Ilya always forgets everything too
I need to do all the planning
Lisa
Thank you
You are the best
Shane
Where are you
Shane💗
In the bathroom
For 30 minutes?
Shane💗
That’s normal apparently
Selena
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Caitlin
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Lisa
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
This has been the best distraction
Shane💗
You’re welcome
Also, I have to go
Ilya is banging on the door
Good luck at work, Lisa!
Lisa
Thanks babe

Better Halves

Lisa
The weirdest thing happened when I came home from work today
Wyatt was waiting for me with flowers
AND he had a bath running
It’s like he knew I had a bad day
Anyone have any idea how he would have known that?
Shane? Ilya?
Wow
That is very weird
Shane(Growing Heart )
I have no idea what you are talking about
Funny coincidence

Centaurs without Hollzy

What is this?
Why is Shane not here?
You changed the name of the conversation to Centaurs without Shane (Crying Face )
Why do we have this?
Hazy
We thought it might be easier
For what?
Dillon
I don’t know, gossip?
Hazy
Fucking hell Tanny, why would you say that?
Why would you gossip about Shane?
Do you have a chat without me?
Bood
What?
Hazy
No
Dykstra
Definitely not
No lying
Bood
We don’t
Hazy
Absolutely not
Luca?
Luca
No?
Luca.
Luca
Okay, we do
But it’s nothing bad, I promise!
I am going to kill all of you next practice
Hazy
Come on
Bood
Roz, seriously?
Not Luca
He was honest
Luca
😊

Shane(Growing Heart )

Shane
Did you know about this?

What?
There is a group chat without you?

Oh
Yeah
You knew?

Yeah
I assumed it was for captain stuff?
You know, if they ever wanted to discuss my skills on the ice with you, without coming in between our relationship or something
They discuss this with you?

The chat?
No
But I don’t mind
No
My skills on the ice

Not really
That chat gets barely used
So there is a chat without me?
Why did you not tell me?

It’s a chat without you for a reason?
I didn’t think I needed to tell you
You gossip about me?

No
I don’t like to gossip
That is a lie
You always talk about all the players that played bad

That’s other players!!
Not our team
Hmmm

I don’t gossip about you
When you play bad I just tell you
You know that
That is true
I am sorry, moya lyubov

It’s okay
Don’t give the guys a hard time about this, please?
I'm sure you always had those group chats too
Not true

Yeah, okay
Maybe

See?
Does not mean I like it

Centaurs Without Tanny

Tanny will not play tomorrow
You see that pass during practice?
So bad
Hazy
Roz what is this
We need chats to gossip, no?
Bood
Not for everyone
Hmm you do not agree
I see

Centaurs Without Hazy

I am very good at scoring goals
Bood
Where is this going?
Dillon
Is there a chat without me?
Sometimes you just have a bad day!
Not me
And not relevant, Tanny
I was saying
I am good at scoring
Or maybe Hazy is a bad goalie?
He did not stop ONE

Centaurs Without Bood

The meat was not correctly grilled last barbecue
Did you notice?
Dykstra
No?
I liked it
Oh, you did?
Hazy
I stopped multiple of your shots
What are you talking about?
Hazy
You did not score every time?!
I don’t know where you are getting this information

Centaurs Without Dykstra

Dykstra has bad taste
He does not agree with his captain
Needs extra drills next practice maybe
Bood
What was wrong with the meat?
Roz??
Tell me what was wrong?

Better Halves

Cassie
Need your help
Zane and I are not sleeping😭
Milo is constantly crying
Caitlin
I’m so sorry honey
Susie was like that for a while
Singing helped?
Cassie
Already tried that
But I don’t even want to hear Zane sing
So, why would Milo want to?
Caitlin
(Face With Tears Of Joy )
Give Milo some vodka
He will sleep
Shane💗
No!
And he does not actually do that with kids
He is really good at getting them to sleep actually
Why are you saying this??
Now they will know I am a big softie
Shane💗
You are a big softie
Caitlin
Ilya, babe
I fear this was not really a secret😂
And we already knew you were good with kids
You brought Susie to bed MULTIPLE times
Lies
Cassie
Please, ideas???
I am this close to screaming with him
Shane💗
You could drive him around?
That sometimes worked with Hayden’s kids
Cassie
We’ll try that out
Thank you
Or you could give him vodka
Cassie
That didn’t work, it got worse somehow😩
You want us to come over?
Cassie
Oh, no, please don’t it’s okay
Shane💗
We don’t mind, we have nothing to do and we could give you a little break?
Cassie
You’re being serious?
Very
Cassie
You really don’t have to
Shane💗
We are saying we want to
Cassie
Thank you
Seriously
You are angels
Do not thank us
We are happy to do this
Shane💗
We’ll be there in 20 minutes
Cassie
Zane and I could kiss you right now
Tell Zane he is not my type
But I would love a kiss from his pretty wife

Better Halves

Selena
Is there anyone here who wants to hang out with three kids right now?
Nicky and I are trying to have a romantic night, but that’s a little hard with them running around
And our babysitter cancelled…
Cassie
Tell me about it
I have not been alone with Zane in ages
Harris
I would help out, but I am at my parents house, sorry
Caitlin
I can't either
I have Susie at home too
Date night sounds good though
Bring them over
Cassie
Who is this for? (Eyes )
Everyone
Bring them all!!
Shane💗
ILYA
We can’t take care of FIVE kids at the same time!!
We can
You are really good with kids
We can make a fun movie night!!
Caitlin
Oh, we can’t do this to you
Cassie
Our kids are terrors
Selena
I would say no
But I’m pretty desperate right now
Already packing their bags 😊
Give me a second
I am discussing it with my husband
Cassie
I meant to say
Our kids are super sweet
Caitlin
Exactly!
They would love a movie night
Shane said okay
Bring them over
Selena
On my way
Cassie
Are you sure?
Caitlin
Shane?
Shane💗
Bring them over
Ilya is already way too enthusiastic
Blankets and pillows are everywhere
Cassie
I love you
On my way
Caitlin
Give me twenty minutes
Selena
Oh my god
I just realized
I’M HAVING SEX TONIGHT😈
Caitlin
FUCK YES
I’M GONNA GET LAAAIDD👅
Cassie
Who cares about sex??
I am finally going to sleep💤
We are ready for five kids!!!!
Have fun with the sex😘
Shane💗
At least some of us will be getting some
We can too?
Shane💗
We are going to have five kids in our house Ilya
Oh
Shit

Better Halves

Cassie
Ilya, babe
Yes?
Cassie
Shane is at a photoshoot, right?
Yes…
Cassie
So, you are doing nothing?
No?
Cassie
Could you please come over?
Milo has been crying for over three hours
I’ll be there in 10
Cassie
You are a lifesaver😘

Centaurs Without Roz

Hayes
Hey Hollzy
How are you doing?
Still a bit sick
But I’m getting a little better
Hayes
Good, I’m glad
So
Could you please maybe let your husband know you are alive?
Bood
He is staring at us with sad puppy eyes
Dillon
It’s unbearable
Chouinard
And he is not playing his best game
I noticed
Did you talk to him?
Bood
No
Maybe try that
Bood
Oh we tried
Chouinard
He doesn’t want to talk
Hayes
Says and I quote: ‘He is fine’
Maybe he is?
Dillon
Sure
Bood
Yeah don’t think so Hollzy
Hayes
You should give him a sign of life
Did Barrett talk to him?
You’re best friends
Hayes
Wow, I’m going to try not to be offended
Bood
Same here
Damn Hollzy
Barrett
I tried to talk to him
Got the cold shoulder
Oh
Maybe Luca?
Hayes
Luca is still sulking because Roz sent him away
Luca
I am not sulking!
Chouinard
Okay (Face With Tears Of Joy )
I really don’t want to bother Ilya on the road trip
I don’t want to mess up his game
Bood
His game is plenty messed up
Chouinard
PLEASE BOTHER HIM
Barrett
I am going to have to agree here
He definitely needs to be bothered right now
Hayes
This way we won’t even make it to Friday
It can’t be that bad?
Dillon
Trust us it is
Okay, I’ll call him

Ilya💗

Shane
How are you feeling?
Are you feeling better?
How is your head?
Are you good?
Hi Ilya
I am fine
Like I said five minutes ago

How are you now?
I am fine

Your head?
Is fine!
I barely have a headache anymore

You still have a headache?
Should not be on your phone
You are literally texting me

Don’t text me then
Get better
Okay
I’ll go

Wait
No
Stay
Do you want to call?
I don’t have to look on my screen for that

Yes
Please
Give me five minutes?
You are calling Ilya💗
Thank you sweetheart
I miss you😘
I miss you too💗

Centaurs Without Roz

Hayes
Roz is smiling
You have anything to do with that Shane?
Yes
I told him I was okay
Bood
Thank god
Chouinard
Whatever you did, keep doing that
Barrett
He even talked to me
That is good, right?
Hayes
He just gave Luca a pat on the back
Luca is smiling
Bood
We are back to normal!!
Dillon
Hollzy, if I can just kindly ask
Please never be sick again while we’re on the road
Hayes
I second that
Bood
Third
I would say thanks, but this has more to do with Ilya being annoying than you being concerned about my health
Hayes
Oh no, of course not!
We are super concerned about your health
Bood
That sounds pretty sarcastic, Hazy
Maybe I should tell Roz what you said
Please don’t
Hayes
Please don’t
I am not ready to die
Luca
Get well soon, Shane!
Thank you, Luca
Bood
Rook, you are better than us
Get well soon, Hollzy
Hayes
I hope you feel better
Dillon
Get well soon
And please never get sick again
Thanks guys
And I will try?

Centaurs Without Shane 😥

Bood
ROZ
Chouinard
ROZ PLEASE
Hazy
CAP
Please come online right now
Luca
Shane is kind of scaring me?
Bood
Exactly!!
Roz, please
What is going on?
Is Shane okay??
Hazy
ROZ
How are you feeling man?
Okay
Better
I am not sick anymore
Bood
Good
Now please can you tell your husband that
Chouinard
He is scaring us
Dillon
Oh god
Hollzy is looking at me
Someone cover me
Hazy
If looks could kill Tanny would be dead right now
What did you do??
Dillon
Nothing!!
I swear
What is going on?
Barrett
Someone has replaced your husband with a hockey playing robot
He is not talking to us
And he is not looking at us
Dillon
HE IS LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW
Barrett
Except for now
Tanny calm down
You’re fine
Shane is not going to kill you
Hazy
Honestly, I kind of doubt that
Bood
Your husband is being crazy scary
Chouinard
I would not want to be on the receiving end of that look, that’s for sure
Dillon
Oh he looked away
Phew
I thought I was going to die for a second there
You are being dramatic
Hazy
Respectfully he’s not
Bood
No seriously what is going on with you that Hollzy shows up like this man
Shane said I was sick
Hazy
Okay?
I am not sick
Russians don’t get sick 😊
I was coughing a little bit so Shane would not let me go to practice 🙄
Chouinard
So he’s worried
I am not sick
He does not need to be worried
Luca
Eh guys
Why is Shane looking at me now
Dillon
Oh god, he’s going after the kid
Bood
Stay still, maybe he won’t see you
Luca
He’s walking over
What do I do?!
Luca
Hazy
They’re talking
What is happening?
Chouinard
Nothing
Bood
They really just seem to be talking
Hazy
Luca, you okay?
Dillon
Why is Hollzy being nice to Haasy when two seconds ago he looked like he was going to kill me?
Hazy
Maybe because Luca is nicer than you
Dillon
Fuck you
I’m still shaking
Bood
Oh, they’ve stopped talking
Hazy
Luca, you good?
He is fine
Luca, please tell Shane I am fine
Chouinard
Why do you not tell him yourself?
He does not believe me!
He will believe Luca 😊
Luca
I’m not going to lie for you!
Would not be a lie
Luca
Why does Shane not believe you then?
No comment
What did Shane tell you?
Luca
He just said stuff about practice
Actually, he was pretty normal
See, I told you!
Hazy
Yeah, nothing about this whole thing is normal
Bood
If you could never be sick again that would be great
I am not sick
Chouinard
Sure
Dillon
Roz, I thought you were weird when Shane was sick
But this is a whole nother thing
What do you mean?
Bood
Dude
Chouinard
Literally why would you say that
No please tell me
I want to know
Dillon
It’s nothing
Forget I said anything
What do you mean weird?

Centaurs 🐴💗

Tanny I did not see you at practice
Dillon
It was optional right?
Hazy
Dude you don’t normally miss optional practice
Yes very smart of him he needs practice
Dillon
Fuck off
Bood
Everything okay?
Hazy is right you don’t normally miss practice
Dillon
I’m fine, just feeling a little under the weather
Shane💗
Oh, do you have anyone to take care of you?
Puck, maybe?
Dillon
No
Hazy
She at work?
Bood
You need any of us to come by?
Dillon
I’m fine
Tanny, fine does not sound like a word anymore if you say it that often
Dillon
Can you not call me that?
Hazy
What, Tanny?
Bood
But Tanny we love you so much
Dillon
Jesus you’re assholes
Tanny, this does not sound like you
Dillon
Don’t fucking call me that
Shane💗
Dillon, seriously, are you okay?
Dillon
I’m fine, everyone misses practice sometimes
Ah yes, except we never do
Hazy
I don’t know, I can name like three different occasions where you and Shane didn’t show up
Not true
Bood
I can back Hazy up on that
It was for a very important reason
Hazy
I think I can guess the reason
Bood
I don’t want to guess the reason
Shane💗
Guys
Yes, moya lyubov’?
Shane💗
I think we are focusing on the wrong thing here
You are right
Dillon, what is wrong
Dillon
A little sick
And now the truth
Captains orders 😈
Dillon
Fucking fine
Puck dumped me
What??
Hazy
Damn, I’m sorry man
Bood
Sorry
Guess this explains the whole nickname thing
Dillon
Yes
Shane💗
I’m sorry
I thought it was going pretty well?
Dillon
So did I
Why did she dump you
Dillon
Turns out she was a puck bunny after all
Guess all of you were right
But apparently, I was too bad a player to keep dating
Does great things to a man’s ego 👍🏼
She is right you are not a very good player
Dillon
Wow thank you
Shane💗
Jesus Ilya
Is true he could never be as good as you!!!
But no one could 😘
But is no reason to dump someone
Dillon
She thought it was a good enough reason
Hazy
Man I never thought Puck would actually turn out to be a puck bunny
Bood
Yeah we were just joking about that
Hazy
We were rooting for you guys!
Dillon
Yeah thanks
No longer need to do that
Dillon you will come to practice tomorrow
Dillon
I’d rather stay home
Captains orders
We will cheer you up
Hazy
Yeah!!!
Bood
We can go to your favorite burger place after??
Dillon
Funny you mention that
Turns out Puck didn’t even know what my favorite food was
Some kind of relationship, huh?
This does not determine a good relationship
Shane does not know my favorite food
Shane💗
Yes he does?
Eh no
Shane💗
I’m pretty sure I do
The pasta my dad always makes
You say it’s your favorite all the time
Wrong
Shane💗
What the fuck, Ilya?
Is not my favorite food
See Dillon, does not determine relationship
Dillon
Yeah, this makes me feel a whole lot better
You are welcome
Dillon
If you don’t mind I’m going to bed now
Practice tomorrow!!
Dillon
Yeah fine
We will give you a pep talk
I will compliment all three of your skills on the ice!!
Dillon
Wow that would be great
Shane💗
He’s being an asshole
But I could tell you a hundred things that make you a great player, Dillon
So if you want a serious pep talk, you’re free to talk to me!
Dillon
Thanks
Why do you thank Shane and not me
Hazy
Yeah, I wonder
Shane💗
Ilya
Yes sweetheart
Shane💗
What is your favorite food
I do not think you will like the answer
Bood
Is your favorite food made at the bbq at my house perchance
Hazy
You can’t just say perchance
Bood your food is not even top 5
Bood
What??
Everyone tells me it’s amazing!
Shane💗
It is I promise
There is something wrong with Ilya’s taste
Because I have a sneaking suspicion about what his favorite food is
Hazy
Oh no
Bood
Seriously man??
Yes you are all thinking the right thing
It is the delicious McGriddle 😊
Hazy
🤢
Bood
🤮
You are all being very dramatic
Shane💗
I can’t even look at you right now
Ah yes
My husband is most dramatic of all
Shane💗
🙄

Better Halves

You removed Puck from the conversation
Ladies, I need your help
Shane💗
Ilya, seriously?
Selena
Uhm, did I miss something?
Shane💗
Puck dumped Dillon
And said he was a bad player
Selena
Seriously?
Wow, that sucks
Yes and this is why I need your help
Lisa
I never liked that girl
Selena
We literally barely knew her 😂
Lisa
Exactly!!
She never contributed in conversations
Selena
Now that you say that
Can we get back to me
Selena
Sure sweetie, what do you need?
Funny you ask that
I am making a list
Selena
Oh, new girls for Dillon to date???
Caitlin
Wait, I might have a few friends who would want to jump that!!
🤢
Nobody wants to jump Dillon
This is not what it is about
Cassie
Don’t keep us waiting
I am making a list with questions
Selena
Foorrr..?
Lisa
There is literally no reason to keep being mysterious about it
Selena
Right? 😂
Caitlin
I promise we’re listening
Is a list with questions for new WAG’s
To make sure we do not have this situation again
Shane💗
Ilya, we talked about this
We can’t control if relationships end or not
We can control if they start
And we can know if they are good people
Selena
Okay, I hear you
How were you planning on doing this?
Well, Puck did not even know his favorite food
So we can do questions like that
Except Shane did not know my favorite food either
Shane💗
Because your favorite food is an abomination to society
Only you think that
Shane💗
McGriddles.
Selena
Seriously???
Lisa
That is so unhealthy
Cassie
And gross 🤢
Caitlin
I mean, I can see the appeal, but favorite food??
Not by far
Harris
I had one once
Thank you Harris
Harris
And it was indeed gross
I agree with you, Shane
Betrayal
From everyone
You have not had good ones
Imagine you had a very late night
Lots of vodka to drink
Selena
I have to have a wild imagination for that
Never happens anymore
Caitlin
Exactly 😂
But go on
Yes
So you are feeling bad, yes?
Think there is no cure
But then you order McGriddle
First bite
Magically cured
Shane💗
Since when do you believe in magic?
Since the existence of McGriddles 🤤
Shane💗
I have offered you many things that could also be a cure for a hangover, but you never take it
How would you know if a McGriddle is the only ‘cure’?
You give me green smoothies
They look like puke
So I will probably puke after them
Shane💗
Those always work for me
You mean, the two times you drank alcohol?
Shane💗
I drink sometimes!
Selena
Ginger ale 😂
Caitlin
Lol was just about to say that
Selena
Unless that secretly has alcohol in it?
Lisa
Not that any of us would know that
Harris
Because no one voluntarily drinks ginger ale?
Selena
Exactly 😂
Shane💗
Are we done bullying me about my drink of choice?
Cassie
Sorry sweetie
It’s not like Ilya is any better with his vodka intake
Lisa
Oh yes, that’s probably even worse
Harris
I agree, I don’t know how someone could drink that much
???
I think we need to go back to the original topic
We need to make a list
Caitlin
What did you have in mind
First: What is your partner’s favorite food?
Lisa
Okay, easy enough
Selena
I mean, that would be really easy to figure out in the time you take to answer the text
Okay, second question then
What is your partner’s shoe size?
Cassie
Also really easy to quickly check before answering
Caitlin
We need something a little harder
Harris
To be honest, I don’t think I even know Troy’s shoe size
Fine
Third: What is your partner’s favorite color?
Selena
Now you’ve stepped over the line
Caitlin
Yes, we’re really getting to the difficult questions here
Ah I see
You all have commentary on my questions, but I do not hear better ideas
Selena
It was your idea!
Cassie
We’re really trying to help, though!
Lisa
How about questions about their partner’s routine?
Selena
Oh, good one!
Harris
Yes, I like this
Maybe their favorite breakfast?
That’s a little harder than favorite food in general I think
Caitlin
Agreed
Lisa
Favorite side of the bed to sleep in?
Selena
Hmm, too easy I think
Shane💗
Maybe things you could only know after spending a lot of time together?
For example, I found out that one of my old Metros hoodies was Ilya’s favorite thing to wear, because I caught him secretly wearing it on multiple occasions
Lies
Selena
Metros 🤢
Lisa
Don’t mention them in this house again 🤮
Shane💗
He doesn’t wear it anymore
I gave him one of my newer hoodies to wear
Because of Montreal 🤮🤮
And it did not smell like you anymore 🥰
Selena
Disgusting
Caitlin
Disgustingly cute you mean
Selena
Don’t know about cute, but that was what I was talking about yes
Lisa
But going back to it, good idea, Shane
Cassie
How would we check that, though?
Shane💗
I mean, I can find a way to make their partner tell me
Yes this is true
All our teammates are very scared of Shane
They will tell him everything
Selena
I can confirm that
Shane💗
How?
Selena
Nicky comes home telling me about his day
I always say I don’t know a Shane that’s scary
He never believes me
Caitlin
It’s the same with Evan
And then they tell you how scary Shane’s big Russian husband is of course
Selena
Sure sweetie!
Caitlin
Oh yes, absolutely, he never shuts up about it!
Harris
😂
Shane💗
You should tell them not to be scared of me?
I didn’t know they thought that?
Is not in a bad way
Not like Montreal, yes?
Selena
Oh, no, don’t worry Shane!
Nicky is constantly telling me how amazing you are as well
Caitlin
Same here!
I think Evan is just intimidated
Shane💗
Oh okay
Cassie
Okay, I have been thinking more
We could just ask normal questions, like: How did you meet?
And see if they have similar stories?
Caitlin
Oh, yes, maybe there’s a difference in the things they noticed
Selena
And it’s a good icebreaker!!
Boring
Lisa
As opposed to your question about their favorite color
🙄
Shane💗
How about what they would do if their partner had a bad day?
How they would handle it and everything…
Could show us if they’re a good person
Cassie
Yes, great idea!
Lisa
Awesome!
Selena
Now we’re getting somewhere
Caitlin
Maybe ask their favorite music?
Not only their partners
Good idea
You would know how hard it is to live with someone who has very bad taste in music
Caitlin
I’ll have you know that I actually like the type of music Evan listens to
It’s one of the things we connected over, that’s why I mentioned it
You both scare me
Selena
We could also just give them ‘the talk’ you know
Lisa
Oh, yes that would totally not intimidate me if I came into a group chat for the first time 😂
Selena
Hey, if they can’t even handle that, what would they even be doing in here, you know??
Caitlin
You make a solid point 😂
What do you mean
Selena
Oh, like tell them: Don’t hurt him or else 😠
I can do this
They will think I am scary
Lisa
Hmm I don’t know
Caitlin
I think we should let Shane do that part
Selena
Was just about to say that that’s a great job for Shane
Shane💗
I don’t want to do that?
Why would I want to purposely scare someone?
Harris
That’s what makes you scary
You don’t even do it on purpose 😯
You all hate me
You do not think I am scary
You hate my questions
I am very sad right now 😔
Cassie
But sweetie, at least you have a very scary husband to protect you!
Selena
😂
Caitlin
😂
Shane, protect me now
They are laughing at me
Shane💗
Oh, were we not allowed to?
WE?
Shane💗
It’s not a bad thing that you’re not scary!
I like it 💗
This does not make me feel better
Shane💗
And the list was your idea
So, with the questions we just expanded on your great idea!
You are coddling me
Shane💗
I thought I was protecting you
Selena
Shane stop 😭
Caitlin
Seems like it was yesterday when Ilya was still called ‘Russian Menace’
I am still called that
Harris
Social Media is literally my job and I never see it anywhere anymore
Traitor
Harris
Now that I think about it, you’re mostly just called Shane’s husband
They do not even say my name anymore?!
Shane💗
I think it’s because you call yourself my husband any chance you get
Literally in every press conference ever
Yes this is true
I admit it is my fault
But everyone would do that if their husband was Shane Hollander
Shane💗
I love you 💗
Ya tebya lyublyu 😘
Selena
Yeah, yeah we know you’re husbands
Caitlin
Imagine being new in this chat
Getting the trash talk from Shane
And then you’re bombarded by them love bombing each other
Selena
The ‘leave this group’ button would be looking real good by then
Lisa
😂

Better Halves

Cassie
Everyone, be nice!
We have a new addition to this group chat!
Lisa
Ohhh, who is it??
Cassie
One of the rookies has a girlfriend!
Selena
Which one 😂
Cassie
Young
Cassie added Sophia to the conversation
Everyone, welcome Sophia!
Selena
Hi Sophia!
Caitlin
Hiiiii
Lisa
Welcome to the chat!
Sophia
Thanks, it’s nice to meet you!
Hello Sophia
I have a very important question for you
Sophia
Ask away!
What is Young’s favorite color?
Selena
Ilya 😭
Caitlin
😂

Better Halves

Selena
I’m rewatching step up and don’t tell Nicky but Channing Tatum could bend me over a table 🥵
Caitlin
OH MY GOD I’ve been waiting my entire life for someone to say this
Shane🩷
Isn’t he bald?
Selena
I mean not completely but kinda yes
But who cares about that when he has a face like that
Shane🩷
I don’t know
I think I would prefer my men to have hair
I think you mean man 😊
Shane🩷
I mean I’d prefer you to have hair too yes
But men in general too I guess
But I am the only man for you??
Selena
Wait Shane I don’t think we’ve ever asked what your type is
I think we all know 😉
Shane🩷
I don’t really have a type I think
Shane??
Caitlin
Wait we have to figure this out
Lisa
Ugh work is so boring
What are we up to?
Oh!
Wait we should play smash or pass
Selena
YES
Harris
I want to join in
We all know your type Harris
Harris
Yes my man is hot, but I still have eyes Ilya
Selena
That’s the spirit!
Caitlin
Smash or pass
Joseph Morgan
Wait who is this
Selena
Ugh so dreamy
Look him up
Smash 🤤
Lisa
Definitely smash
Harris
Not my type
Pass
I looked him up
He has blond curls just like me?
Pass
Shane🩷
Pass
Shane, is your type no?
You can say smash I will not get angry
Shane🩷
Still pass
I just don’t think he’s that attractive
Selena
I’m making you watch the vampire diaries with me so I can change your mind
Cassie
Hiii everyone
Oh!
I was watching Station 19 last night and there’s one firefighter that’s really hot
Lisa
Is that the spin off from Grey’s Anatomy?
Cassie
Yes!
Lisa
Let’s not talk about the medical accuracy of that show
Cassie
Okay the name of the actor is Jay Hayden
Caitlin
Pass
I will look him up again
Shane🩷
Objectively attractive
Pass
Harris
Pass
Troy next to me is saying smash though
He has dark hair and freckles
Pretty
Smash
Selena
Ohhhh Ilya has a type
I’m also going to say smash
Hmm so you also think Shane is hot?
Selena
No comment
Lisa
Idris Alba
Caitlin
Smash
Selena
Anyone who passes on him doesn’t have eyes
SMASH
Maybe bit old for me but I will say smash
Shane🩷
Smash
Cassie
100% smash
Harris
Smash
Troy also says smash
Barrett should find something else to do he is not WAG his opinion does not matter
Selena
Ilya 😭
Caitlin
I think we’ll survive
🙄
Harris
One of my personal favorites
Young Patrick Swayze
Lisa
Smash
Cassie
Hard choice but pass
Selena
100 times smash
Caitlin
Do you pass on anyone?
Selena
Do I need to?
I know this one
Shane is going to say smash to this one 🥰
Shane🩷
Pass
??
He kind of looks like me, no?
Shane🩷
He's just not my type
Probably because you only want to have sex with me 🥰
Shane🩷
Sure
???
Selena
Okaaaayyy
Circling back
Aaron Taylor Johnson
Shane🩷
Smash
??
Why??
Shane🩷
He’s hot
Lisa
I agree with Shane
Smash
Harris
If he gets rid of grandma?
Definitely smash
Selena
Harris 😂
Caitlin
He makes a valid point though
I would try and steal him away
I do not like this game anymore
Caitlin
Wait Ilya
How about young Keanu Reeves
Harris
Smash
Cassie
Pass
Shane🩷
Looks too much like me
Pass
Selena
Smash 😈
Cassie
Selena please 😂
I will say smash
Because he looks a bit like my Shane 🥰
Selena
Disgustingly cute
And expected
I am very down bad for my husband
Caitlin
And don’t we all know it
Selena
To this next one there is only one right answer
Hayden Christensen
Specifically as Anakin Skywalker
Caitlin
SMASHHLAFHFE🥵🥵
Cassie
Smash
Harris
SMASH 🤤
Lisa
On the bed on the floor on the kitchen counter on the sofa against the wall in the shower all night all day
Do I have to keep going?
Selena
I think we get it babe
And don’t we all agree 😏
Smash
Although he also looks a bit like me
Shane🩷
Pass
Shane?
You want to try again?
Shane🩷
No?
I think I know what my type is Ilya
I thought you said you did not have a type
Shane🩷
Hmm I don’t know I think I’m maybe finding out
What do you mean
Shane?
Am I not your type anymore?
Shane????????
Sweetheart, talk to me 🥰
Selena
🍿
Caitlin
Can I have some of that Selena?
Harris
OKAY before this escalates
Michael B Jordan
Selena
Smash
Caitlin
Of course
I’m gonna say pass though
Cassie
Smash 😍
Shane🩷
Smash
Pass
Shane?
Smash again?
Shane🩷
Have you seen him in Black Panther?
He was hot
Have YOU seen him in Black Panther?
Shane you have never watched this movie
Shane🩷
How would you know?
I watched it on the plane once
I think I would know
Because you would have talked to Hazy about this movie
But you never know what he is talking about
Shane🩷
Shit
Shane
Are you doing this on purpose?
Shane🩷
I don’t know what you’re talking about
Oh so your type is not me anymore it is all these other people
Selena
🍿
Caitlin
🍿
Harris
🍿
Lisa
🍿
Cassie
🍿
Shane🩷
I can think other people are attractive, Ilya
Yes
But you never think so
I am your only type
Maybe you would make exception for people who look like me
Shane🩷
I think you’re reading too much into this
Hmmm
Shane🩷
Doesn’t anyone have another celebrity???
Please?
Selena
Shane baby
I think you’ve been caught
Yes Shane
Do you want to tell the truth now?
Or do you want to get punished when you get home 😈
Shane🩷
ILYA WHAT THE FUCK??
I think that is what you want
Caitlin
OH
Oh 😏
Selena
Keep going
Lisa
Don’t stop on my account
Shane🩷
Ilya won't be saying anything else if he wants to get his dick wet ever again
Lisa
😂
Caitlin
Aaaaaand the leash tightens
🤐
Selena
We were finally getting the deeds 😔
Lisa
They always stop when it’s getting good
Harris
Surprising? No.
Disappointing? Slightly.
Caitlin
I must say I am kind of impressed by how Shane managed to fool everyone
Lisa
Ilya was getting stressed for a second there
Shane🩷
I wasn’t lying
Selena
Shane 😂
Shane🩷
I was maybe twisting the truth a bit
If Patrick Swayze wasn’t dead he would definitely be my hall pass
Caitlin
SHANE
Harris
I am impressed with your knowledge
I didn’t know you were aware what a hall pass was
Shane🩷
My best friend is an actress
She updated my vocabulary
What is hall pass?
Shane🩷
Nothing you need to know about 😊
Harris what does this mean
Harris
Shane I’m sorry
It’s giving your partner permission to sleep with this one person (their hall pass) if they ever met them
So if Shane ever met Patrick Swayze…
He would have sex with him???
Shane🩷
Only if he wanted it too!!!
You would want this???
Shane🩷
He is dead!
What if he was not
Shane🩷
But he’s not
It’s not a big deal
Is this normal?
Everyone has this?
Selena
Oh baby I have about 100 hall passes
Your Nicky is okay with this?
Selena
I mean I’m not giving him much of a choice
It’s not like I have a chance of meeting them
Cassie
I don’t have a hall pass
Neither does Zane
Lisa
Wyatt and I have shared hall passes
So like people we would invite as a third
Caitlin
Oh I like
Women or men?
Lisa
Both 🤷🏼‍♀️
Selena
Hot
You and Wyatt have threesomes?
Lisa
I mean… not yet?
Shane🩷
That’s kind of hot
Shane??
You would want threesomes?
Shane🩷
The idea is hot, but no
I don’t think I would want to share you
Not now that I finally have you to myself after all these years apart
My Shane 🥰😭
So romantic I will cry
Caitlin
Yeah yeah put the bar high for us again 🙄
Lisa
I’m almost regretting adding them to this chat if it wasn’t so sweet
We are perfect couple 🥰
Harris
It’s like that almost fight from ten minutes ago never happened

Centaurs 🐴💗

Very important question
Do all of you have a hall pass
And who is it
Hazy
Oh me and Lisa have multiple
Yes so I have heard
Bood
Really?
Me and Cass don’t really do that kind of thing
Dykstra
I don’t know
I don’t really have one I think
Chouinard
I don’t have one
Selena has a lot though
You are okay with that?
Chouinard
Yeah it’s not like she is ever going to meet them
You are not jealous?
Chouinard
Nah
Even if she did meet them I would still be going home to her at the end of the day, so…
You are a weird man
Hazy
Yes Roz we all know about your jealous tendencies
I do not have these
Barrett
I literally saw what happened in the WAG chat today
Barrett you need to keep your nose where it belongs
Dillon
No relationship so no hall pass
Yes we all know this
Very sad for you Dillon
Dillon
I was just saying
Okay question for the people IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you had to pick a hall pass who would it be
Dykstra
Difficult question but I think I have an answer
Hazy
Yes me too
Bood
You know, just one is actually not that hard to pick
Barrett
Mine has been ready and on my list for years
Chouinard
You know what I think we should just all say our person at the same time
Yes yes get on with it
Hazy
Shane Hollander
Bood
Shane Hollander
Barrett
Shane Hollander
Dykstra
Shane Hollander
Chouinard
Shane Hollander
Shane🩷
Guys…
What
No
This is not funny
Is serious?
Is joke right
Hazy
Tell me now that this is joke
All of you want to have sex with my husband???????
I will not allow it
Hazy
It’s just a hall pass
Bood
No big deal, right?
Next practice you will see how ‘no big deal’ it is
You will be doing so many drills until you sweat so much that all the sweat drips in your eyes and keeps dripping and you will get infection until your eyes do not work anymore and will fall out and you will have no eyes anymore to stare at MY HUSBAND
Shane Hollander is MY husband
Barrett
Dramatic
Hazy
I think I said something about jealous tendencies earlier…
You think is dramatic that I find out everyone wants to fuck MY HUSBAND
Shane🩷
Did you consider that maybe your husband only wants to be fucking you anyway?
I am tired
This is too much jealousy in one day
Shane🩷
You want me to come kiss it better?
Yes come here now 😘
Barrett
Yeah you can keep this out of here
You think so?
I think I need to publicly state my claim
Because all of you think you have a chance with MY husband Shane Hollander
Bood
We know who your husband is
Do you?
If you really knew Shane Hollander MY husband you would know that you would never ever have a chance with him
Hazy
WE GET IT
SHANE HOLLANDER IS YOUR HUSBAND
NO ONE ELSE CAN GET HIM
Now you are learning
Chouinard
It was just a joke Roz
You will still do drills until you fall down
Then you will see how ‘funny’ your joke is
Hazy
I’m seriously starting to wonder why we ever thought this was a good idea
Chouinard
I’m never listening to Selena again
Bood
Sure ‘Nicky’
Chouinard
Yeah who am I kidding
See you all tomorrow my husband Shane Hollander is home and we will now have sex that none of you will ever have 😈

End Notes

Come talk to me on threads: @evawritess_ 🙌🏼