Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Dates, Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, Fluff, Humor, Banter, Emotionally Repressed, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Idiots in Love, POV Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov in Love, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, First Date, Pre-Scene: Ilya Rozanov Makes Tuna Melts in Episode: s01e04 Rose, Pre-Relationship, Soft Ilya Rozanov, Soft Shane Hollander, Anxious Shane Hollander, Anxious Ilya Rozanov, Fluff and Smut, Mild Smut, a little bit of smut

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-01-12 Completed: 2026-04-09 Words: 11,636 Chapters: 2/2

First Date

Summary

Ilya Rozanov thinks it is just going to be another hookup, but Shane Hollander has something else planned for them.

or

Ilya and Shane have a first date

Notes

This takes place somewhere around the time in episode 4 where they are regularly hooking up. But also it is more the timeline of right before the tuna melt incident. And in this fic Ilya has never been to Shane's apartment before.

Chapter 1: Ilya

Ilya and Shane had been doing this for quite a while. Since their rookie year. Now a few years in they were still meeting in secret. Which Ilya thinks is quite fun. When he goes out with his team he mostly just meets up with girls. He is not ashamed of being bisexual, but he is not ready to be out yet. Especially in front of his team. Also, if it were to leak, he wouldn’t know what to do if his father found out. If Russia found out. So, for now this was good. Meeting in secret. Having Shane. And they were having fun. He tried not to think about it too much. Because if he did he might have to admit that he thought about those freckles a little too often. It is better to just keep it casual. Every time they played against each other or were in town they met up at a hotel. But not this time.

Ilya shoots Shane a quick text, ‘I’m here.’

He hadn’t actually been to Shane’s apartment before, but he didn’t hesitate to come when Shane texted him the address.

They had played a game against each other tonight, and honestly, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Shane and the way he could always make him blush so easily. He liked the way his freckles would become so visible with the red on his face.

He didn’t know when Hollander became Shane to him, he thinks, but he shrugs off the thought. Not now, he was getting laid and that’s all this was.

He didn’t think Shane’s apartment would be in a neighborhood like this. When he thought about Shane’s apartment, he always imagined something with a lot of space around the house. Probably a really big garden so he could have a boring hobby like gardening. He also didn’t know when he started thinking about where Shane lived or what he did in his free time.

His head shoots up when he hears a door open. Shane is standing in the door opening, wearing a white button up. He looks really put together. Ilya suddenly feels out of place in his sweatpants and black tank top. ‘Hi? Do you need to go somewhere or are you always dressed like this?’ he says.

Shane frowns and looks down at his shirt. ‘No, I just... I guess I just wanted to wear something nice? I guess?’ when he looks up that pink flush has already gotten to his cheeks.

Ilya smiles and walks up to the door. ‘Can I come in now or will you keep me here in dark alley all night?’

Shane immediately moves out of the way. ‘No, Ilya, you can come in, my apartment is upstairs.’

Ilya, he said. He doesn’t like the flutter in his stomach at the mention of his own name on Shane’s lips. Hollanders lips, he reminds himself. They walk up the stairs next to each other in silence. Shane opens the door and Ilya follows. He has been waiting for this since before the game. He doesn’t know what it was about Shane that always made him so intrigued to spend time with him. And spend time with him was obviously having sex with him.

He closes the door behind him and closes the space between them. Shane whispers a soft ‘Hi’ against his lips. ‘Hi Hollander,’ Ilya grins. He leans forward and presses a soft kiss against Shane’s lips. When he feels Shane kissing him back, he moves his hands to the back of Shane’s head to deepen the kiss a little. And to move his fingers through his hair. He pulls back and says, ‘You want me to reward you for winning the game tonight?’ He moves his hands to the buttons on Shane’s shirt. Theres that pink flush on his cheeks again. And those beautiful freckles. Damn him, he needed to get a grip on that.

‘Yes,’ Shane utters. ‘Wait, no.’ he pulls back.

Ilya freezes in place and takes a second to reply. ‘No? You called me here, yes? You don’t want to anymore?’ He is really confused about what is happening.

Finally, Shane speaks again. ‘Yes, I mean yes, I do, but also, I don’t? I kind of just want to talk?‘

That does not make sense to Ilya at all. They never talk. It is very simple with them, just sex. They text, they meet and they fuck. Simple. Not this. Or whatever this is. ‘Why?’ he asks.

Shane averts his gaze, not making eye contact, when he grabs Ilyas’ hand. Ilya can barely hear what he says next. ‘I thought it would be nice to get to know each other a little bit more?’ Pulling Ilya with him, he has no choice but to keep walking behind Shane to what seems to be the kitchen. Then he sees it. In what he assumes to be the dining room stands a small table. Two empty plates, two wine glasses and a lot of burning candles. What is this? ‘What is this?’ he asks.

Shane turns around to look at him and finally makes eye contact again. He opens his mouth and explains, ‘I thought this would be a way to get to know each other.’ Then he smiles at him. A really cute smile. Ilya doesn’t know what to do with this. He does not do this. They do not do this. It is supposed to be easy. He doesn’t know why Shane would bother getting to know him like this. But Shane is walking again dragging Ilya with him. Then letting go off his hand to pull a chair. ‘Will you sit and eat dinner with me?’ he asks. Honestly, even if he wanted to, he could never say no to those eyes. He shrugs, ‘Fine, I will sit. But you could have told me this was your plan then I would not have put on clothes like this.’ He gestures to his sweatpants and tank top. That is why Shane is dressed so nicely, he guesses. Ilya nervously looks up at Shane, but he doesn’t notice. Shane had already grabbed the plates and was standing in the kitchen getting something out of the oven.

‘You like tuna melt, I hope?’ he shouts from the kitchen. ‘Yes, I do like!’ Ilya laughs.

He likes seeing Shane like this. He must cook a lot if he wants to do this for him. Shane looks really confident and proud of himself when he walks over with two plates of food. He has never seen that look on Shane’s face before. Not when he is playing hockey and not outside of the rink. Even though Hollander is the best player in the league, he never seems to realize that himself. Ilya would of course never tell Hollander this.

“One for you sir,’ Shane says while putting a plate in front of Ilya. And then sits at the opposite side of the table while putting down the other plate for himself.

Ilya doesn’t know what to say. It has been a long time since someone cooked for him. He doesn’t know if he likes this. When they were just having fun and sex, he knew what to do but now he feels extremely uncomfortable. And he does not know why Shane suddenly wants to do this. His attention slips to Shane again after he hears him say something.

‘Sorry, I did not hear what you said,’ he says looking at Shane now. Shane has wine in his hands ready to pour.

‘I asked if you wanted wine?’ Shane repeats. Oh. ‘Oh, yes, sure, I think, I don’t drink wine much.’

Shane looks embarrassed now and grimaces. ‘Sorry, I should have gotten something I knew you liked.’

Ilya shoots his arm forward and lays it on Shane’s hand. ‘No, no, I like, sorry.’

This reaction gets him a soft smile from Shane. Only for that reaction will he drink the wine. Even though mostly he thought wine was really disgusting.

‘You can eat you know,’ Shane says after taking a bite of his own tuna melt sandwich.

Yes, he supposes he could. He takes the sandwich in his hand and takes a big bite as well. There is an awkward silence in which Shane is probably waiting for him to say something.

So, between chewing he tells him, ‘It’s really good sandwich, you made yourself?’

‘Yes!’ Shane beams at him with a really big smile. It is a really good sandwich. And he happens to love tuna melts. He hates to admit it, but this is one of the best he has ever tasted. And it is nice that Shane made this for him. He likes it. He likes that Shane did this. The thought comes through before he knows it and he almost starts choking on his sandwich. No, he does not like Shane. Hollander. He does not like Hollander. And they are rivals. And sex friends. But mostly rivals. And he definitely doesn’t like his rival. He also definitely doesn’t like the freckles on his rivals face. At all.

‘So, how was your day?’ Shane asks.

‘Not good, I lost hockey game,” Ilya answers.

‘I’m sorry about that.’

Ilya smiles. ‘No, you’re not.’

Shane grins. ‘No, I’m not.’

‘How was your day, Mr. Hollander? Do something else or did you spend whole day making this?’ Ilya gestures to the table.

That seems to make Shane blush again. ‘Well, no, but also yes, I didn’t really know what to make so I spend a lot of time looking through recipes to think about what to make.’

Ilya winks at him. ‘You spend so much time thinking about me today?’

The pink flush on Shane’s cheeks spreads even further now. ‘I guess?’

Ilya likes making Shane blush. And he likes seeing those freckles light up. But this time it does not feel so good. They should not be doing this. He shifts in his chair uncomfortably. And then settles on something to say. ‘Much to do for someone who is just sex friend, yes?’

That wipes the smile off Shane’s face. And Ilya immediately regrets saying it.

Shane looks down at his plate. ‘I just wanted to do something nice I guess, it feels weird to only do stuff and not talk. But if you don’t want to, we can just…’ he moves to blow out one of the candles on the table.

‘No,’ Ilya says. ‘Is just, I don’t feel so nice.’

Shane whips up his head immediately. ‘You don’t feel nice?’

Ilya grimaces, ‘No, I don’t, yes, I don’t know other word for it?’

‘Maybe try to explain it to me? I... I want to understand, just... I just don’t want you to not feel nice,’ Shane stutters.

No. this is not what he means. ‘You want me for sex, yes?’

Shane frowns. ‘Well yes, we did do that before and I wanted to?’

Yes. Yes. ‘Okay, yes, I’m good at sex,’ Ilya answers.

Shane smiles now. ‘Well, yes, you are. We are good at that, but I thought we would...’

No. This is not what Ilya means. ‘No, you are not listening, I’m good at sex, but not at this, what this is?’ he barely dares to look Shane in his eyes now. But he hears a sigh across from him. He lifts his head slowly and makes eye contact with the most adorable brown eyes he has ever seen in his life. They were looking at him so softly now.

‘You are uncomfortable?’

Yes. ‘Yes, that is word I mean.’

‘You don’t have to be you know? We have seen each other naked, that is about as intimate as it gets,’ Shane admits.

‘For you maybe yes, but I do that all the time, with all the girls, and you, but this’ Ilya gestures at the table again. ‘This I do not do.’

Shane seems to be thinking deeply before he says, ‘Will you stay though? With me? I would like to do this with you, I want to get to know you.’

Ilya sighs. ‘You do this so you can tell me more about how you won the game, no?’

‘Well, no, but now that you mention it, I did score more goals than you did’, Shane laughs.

He loves the sound of that laugh. And what it means. This is flirting. This he can do. ‘Oh, you did? I did not notice. But I made more assists than you did if I can remember, so I made for more goals to be.’ Ilya takes a sip of the wine and does his best not to make a face. Gross.

Shane looks at him with those cute freckles staring him in the face again. How many are there on his face? He starts to count but gets startled when Shane speaks again. ‘You know the assists don’t matter when you don’t win the game, Rozanov.’

‘They do when it means I made more goals than you, Hollander’ Ilya smirks.

They finish their food and drinks in silence. And damn him, Shane keeps refilling his wine glass. But this is quite nice. He could get used to this. It is very homey. When both their plates are empty, Shane stands up. ‘I can help you clean those?’ Ilya says.

‘I think I’ve got this, Rozanov, it’s only two plates’ Shane laughs. ‘You can sit on the couch if you want? I will be right back. And you can bring your wine glass, there’s a table there as well.’

Ilya hesitantly picks up his wine glass and moves towards the couch. It is a beautiful apartment really. Really roomy. Not like the small hallway they came through to get to the kitchen. It is mostly an open space. The kitchen connects to the dining space, which is next to the living area. Ilya stands next to the really big grey couch that fills up half the space in the living room. Boring color. Obviously. But it looks soft. He would really like to make Shane come in his own apartment. In his own bed, in his own bedroom. Which he assumed would look like the rest of his apartment. Boring colors, like blue and gray, and not many decorations. He sits on one end of the couch. This is weird. Being here. Just sitting and talking. But kind of nice too. He hears footsteps and looks up to see Shane walking over to the couch, and to him. Then he sits awkwardly on the other side of the couch.

‘So, what do you want to talk about, Hollander? It was your idea, yes?’ Ilya tries to sound flirty.

‘I would love to hear more about Russia, if you would tell me?’

Of everything Shane could have said this was the last thing he expected. And the last thing he wanted to talk about. ‘Nothing to say. Russia is where I was born and my family lives there, that is it.’

Shane tries to keep the conversation going by asking another question. ‘Is it nice there? Do you like it there?’

‘Yes, it is beautiful country. I was born there, so yes, I like it there.’ Please don’t ask more questions, Ilya thinks. But Shane wouldn’t be Shane if he didn’t.

‘How is your family, do you talk to them often?’

No. Ilya follows the foot of his wine glass with his finger. Around. And around again. ‘No, I do not. My brother only calls me when he needs money and my father…’ He stops and looks up at Shane. Who is looking at him with a very concerned face. An adorable, concerned face.

‘What about your father?’, Shane dares to ask.

‘I do not want to talk about him please,’ Ilya says. ‘You can tell me about your parents? They are nice?’ Ilya hopes Shane picks up on the shift in conversation. He really doesn’t want to talk about his family anymore.

Shane lights up. ‘Yes, they are very nice. My mom helps me a lot with hockey and brand deals and stuff. My dad doesn’t really know that much about it, but I can talk with him a lot. Just about stuff, you know?’

He didn’t know. But it was nice that Shane has that. ‘Do they know? About you?’

Shane looks down. ‘No, they don’t. Not yet, I don’t think I’m ready for that.’

‘Would they not be good? They are good parents, yes?’

That damned softest smile appears on Shane’s face again. ‘I think they would be good. But I don’t know if I’m ready to be that with anyone yet.’

Ilya shuffles a little closer to Shane. ‘You are that with me. Is not so hard?’

Shane looks him in the eyes now. ‘No, it’s not.’

‘Then you will be good, I know you will.’ Ilya nudges his arm a little. This time Shane shifts closer on the couch. They are next to each other, almost touching knees now. Ilya almost gets nervous. Which is weird. They have touched before, why would this time be different? But he knows why. It is not so simple anymore. Not now that Shane had planned this stupid date for them. Stupid cute first date.

‘Does anyone know about you?’ The question comes as a surprise. Even though he had asked Shane the same earlier.

‘Yes, I have friend in Russia, Svetlana. She knows. But not much people need to know. My team only sees me with girls.’ Ilya sees Shane’s face change, though he doesn’t really recognize that expression. He does not remember seeing that on Shane before. ‘Does this bother you? That I’m with girls?’

Shane blushes. ‘No, no. Of course not. I know you have been with girls. A lot of girls. But now you are also with me, but also with girls.’

Ilya grins. ‘A lot of girls yes, that is right, all the girls want me, I'm sexy of course they want me.’

‘You know that is not what I mean, Ilya.’ Shane sounds serious now. ‘I mean, yes, of course you’re sexy…’

Now it’s time for Ilya to blush. Hollander has never said that to him before. ‘You never call me sexy. So you think I’m sexy?’ He knew Shane was into the sex with him, so vocal in bed, there was no mistaken that. But Shane never admitted being attracted to him so openly.

‘Well, yes, I wouldn’t have invited you here otherwise.’

‘Oh, Hollander, this hurts me!’ Ilya puts his hand to his heart and pretends to be hurt, but laughs at the same time. ‘I thought you wanted to talk to me tonight because I have amazing personality, but now you only want me because I’m sexy?’

Shane punches his arm. ‘You're an asshole, you know that?’ But he immediately starts laughing too.

‘Yes, but you like asshole me, yes?’

‘Yes, I even like asshole you’, Shane admits.

Their knees touch now, for just a second, but Ilya is pretty sure they both felt the electricity coming from that one little touch. He looks at Shane only to see him staring back at him with something in his gaze that looks a lot like lust. He thinks it’s lust. It is a deep gaze. Ilya looks away. This is too much. He shifts on the couch and is planning to stand up when Shane voice penetrates the air.

‘Will you stay? I mean… You don’t have to leave tonight, right? You can stay here with me, I have a lot of room, even have a guest room if you don’t want to be… I don’t know. I'm sorry, you decide, I know we don’t do this.’

Shane is really adorable when he rants like this. Ilya can't help but smile. He puts his hand on Shane’s knee. ‘Okay, I will stay. Only because you want me so much.’

Shane stomps him again. ‘Asshole’

‘You like it’, Ilya winks.

‘Yeah, I like you,’ Shane blurts out.

Again, it’s time for Ilya to be surprised. He didn’t expect Shane to be so honest with him. I guess he must be taking to long to answer, because now Shane is turning his head away.

‘I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have said that’, Shane says embarrassed.

‘No, no’, Ilya puts his hand on Shane’s chin and turns his head towards him again. ‘No, you should, it was right.’ Now his thumbs softly strokes Shane’s cheek. ‘I like you too, Hollander.’

His eyes light up. ‘You do?’

‘Yes, I do, not big deal, you like me, I like you!’ Ilya drops his hand from Shane’s face. But Shane grabs it again and puts it to his face. And then puts a small kiss on Ilya's knuckles. And then kisses his wrist. And his arm. And then lifts his face so it’s in front of Ilyas face. Really close. Ilya looks at those gorgeous big brown eyes looking up at him. Expectantly. So Ilya closes the distance and presses his lips to Shane’s lips. Just for a second. Only to be able to look in those eyes again. And he wants to make sure Shane wants this. Because that’s not why he was invited this time. ‘You want this now?’ he asks.

Shane nods. ‘Yes, I do, very much.’

‘I don’t understand, it’s not why you wanted me to come? You want to talk and now you don’t walk to talk anymore?’ Ilya tries to sound confused.

Shane smirks. ‘You need to stop talking and kiss me.’

Ilya pulls back now. ‘No, you kiss me, if you want me.’ He is barely able to finish his sentence before Shane’s lips are on his. Finally. Their mouths move against each other in a familiar motion. Although there is something unfamiliar about it as well. He puts his hand on Shane’s hip and pulls him on top of him. For a second they pull apart. ‘This okay?’, Ilya asks.

‘Very’, Shane answers and then moves to kiss him again. Their lips open to make room for their tongues. As they slip into each others mouths in a slow rhythm, Ilya groans. He grabs Shane’s hips really steady and moves him to his back on the couch. ‘This okay?’, he asks. Shane nods. They keep on kissing and Ilya shifts his hips closer. Moving against Shane in a slow, but deliberate way. Shane lets out a soft groan and puts his legs on Ilyas back. Which brings them even closer together. Their breathing gets harder and Ilya is pretty sure something else is too. He pauses and moves his head back. ‘This is soft couch, but little small, yes?’ That gets a giggle out of Shane. Which results in Shane embarrassedly slamming his hand to his face. Ilya cackles. ‘Don’t hide that pretty face’. He kisses the tip of Shane’s nose.

‘I giggled, Ilya. It is mortifying.’

‘No, moy lapochka, it’s cute.’ He kisses his nose again. Shane looks at him again with those sweet eyes he always makes at him.

‘Do you want to go to my bedroom?’ Shane asks shyly.

‘Yes, I want to’, Ilya answers. ‘Really.’

Shane slips from underneath him. ‘I’ll race you there’, he yells while running towards the stairs.

‘No, is unfair’, Ilya yells back as he starts to run after Shane. ‘You know where bedroom is! I do not know this!’ Luckily Shane is not so fast here as he is on the ice, because Ilya easily catches up to him and grabs him by the waist. ‘You think you can play games with me, Shane Hollander?’ He kisses Shane’s neck and makes him giggle again. ‘Show me to your bedroom.’ Ilya keeps one arm on Shane’s waist casually as Shane leads him to his bedroom. As he opens the door, Ilya sees that he was right. The bedroom is just as boring as the rest of the house. But even though it’s boring, it feels different. This is where Shane sleeps. He gives Shane a kiss on his cheek. ‘Will you get on the bed, please?’ Shane immediately does what he said and crawls onto the bed and sits with his back against the backboard. Ilya stands in front of him for a second, when he says, ‘I dream of this, you know?’

Shane looks at him. ‘What, me on a bed?’

‘No’, Ilya now also crawls onto the bed until he is face to face with Shane again. ‘You in your bed. Your bedroom. Your house.’ He kisses his cheek.

‘You do?’

Ilya kisses his other cheek. ‘Yes, all the time. It’s annoying. I want to sleep, but then I think of Shane Hollander and how he would feel in his bed.’ Now he kisses his lips really soft.

‘I dream of you too. In my house’, Shane blushes. ‘In my bed.’

‘Then is good we are here’, Ilya kisses Shane again. This time Shane kisses back. And they fall into the rhythm they established earlier. Kissing, tongues slashing against each other, and Ilya with those slow hip movements towards Shane’s hips. Shane starts tugging on Ilyas shirt. Ilya sits back on his knees and takes his shirt off. Shane does the same with his. The buttons open very slowly. Too slow. Looking at him, Ilya asks, ‘What do you want to do?’

‘Whatever you want to do.’

Ilya growls and bends down to kiss Shane’s neck. And then moves down to his shoulders. Placing soft kisses all over his torso. All the way down to his waistband. There he lingers for a second until he pulls his fingers under it, ready to take Shane’s pants off. ‘This okay?’

Shane nods. ‘Yes, is okay.’

Ilya takes off Shane’s pants and underwear in one swoop. His half hard dick springs free. Ilya strokes it for a few seconds while soft sighs escape Shane’s lips. Ilya can’t keep his eyes off that beautiful face. He takes off his own sweatpants and moves forward to kiss him. Their naked bodies now lying together in an intimate way they never have before. ‘Can I fuck you?’ Ilya asks.

Shane nods and turns his body around.

‘No’, Ilya holds him off. ‘I want to look at your pretty face this time, okay?’

‘Okay’, Shane grabs the lube and condoms off the nightstand. Ilya takes some on his finger and moves his hand down to Shane’s hole. His fingers go around in slow circles, tormenting the opening. ‘This okay? You okay?’

‘Please’. A moan comes from Shane’s mouth. He puts his knees up closer to his face to give Ilya more room. Damn, this man is really flexible.

‘Yoga is helping you do this?’

Shane can’t help a laugh coming from his lips. ‘Ilya, please just fuck me.’

Ilya puts some more lube on his fingers and warms it up a little. When his fingers are slick with it, he slowly puts one of them inside. Shane jerks his hips up and gasps. That gasp from Shane makes him even harder. With slow movements up and down he puts another finger inside. He curls them a little bit inward so that he can hit the spot he knows Shane likes so much. And that gives exactly the reaction he had been hoping for.

‘Please, more’, Shane moans.

If he thought it was impossible to get any harder, he was wrong. He bends down to kiss Shane, while keeping his fingers inside him, doing their slow little dance. ‘You ready? You want to?’, he whispers in Shane’s mouth.

‘Please Ilya, yes, I want to feel you’, Shane breathes.

That is all Ilya needs to hear.
------
Ilya wakes up, his arm still steady around Shane’s waist and his nose in his hair. Last night was different than any time before. Before it was just sex. Pure lust. But this time? He couldn’t give any words to it if he had to. He nuzzles his nose into Shane’s neck. It’s weird how he became so attached to Shane Hollander. They were supposed to be rivals. He has no idea how it happened or when it happened but now it is clear to him that it did. Staring at him like that he wasn’t sure that he would ever want to leave. Shane was still asleep, so peaceful. Ilya couldn’t see the brown eyes that he loved so much, but he was too focused on those freckles anyway. So beautiful. The last time he counted them there were thirty-four. Thirty-four beautiful freckles. He should count again, because he was pretty sure there were more now. Unfortunately, Ilya did have to leave if he wanted to catch the plane with his team.

‘Shane’, Ilya nudges him softly. ‘Shane, moy lapochka, wake up.’ He can’t keep himself from brushing his thumb over Shane’s cheek.

Shane stirred. Soft little groans slipping from his mouth as he slowly wakes up.

‘Ilya, I want to sleep’, he says softly.

‘Ah, no sleep Shane, I need to go with the plane. Playing a game tomorrow, remember?’ Ilya nudges him again.

More groans from Shane.. ‘Okay, okay, I'm getting up already, relax.’ He turns around to look at Ilya. A soft smile lights up his face. ‘You actually stayed!’

Now it’s Ilya's time to smile. ‘Yes I stayed, you asked, remember?’ He doesn’t know if Shane forgot or if he was just surprised that Ilya stayed.

But Shane just smiles at him. ‘I know, but you actually stayed.’

Ilya leans forward and kisses him softly. ‘Yes, I did.’

Shane now fully turns around and they lay there. Just for a minute, staring at each other. There is this weird tension between them that has never been there before. But it also feels like a weight has been lifted from Ilyas shoulders. It feels good. Really good. Too good maybe. But at this moment he doesn’t care. He is here, he is with Shane, this is where he wants to be. After a minute of just staring, he kisses Shane deeply. This time Shane pulls back.

‘Ilya, it’s getting late, you need to go or your team will leave without you!’

Ilya shakes his head. ‘No, is fine, I want to stay here, stay with you.’ He presses a little kiss on the tip of Shane’s nose.

Shane lets out a small laugh. ‘Ilya, you know you can’t.’

Ilya throws his hands in the air out of frustration. ‘Yes, Shane, I know! I can not stay! God, you are so boring, first is: pleaaase Ilya, stay, I’m so bored I need handsome man to stay with me and now handsome man wants to stay and you say go!’ He rolls off the bed to put on his clothes. ‘You are going to let me out, yes?’

Shane groans. ‘Fine, I guess I can walk you to the door, but I’d rather stay in bed.”

Now Ilya jumps on the bed, on top of Shane, and starts tickling him. Who starts laughing. ‘Ilya, get your hands off of me!’

But he doesn’t stop. ‘No, Hollander, I will not get my hands off you! You say I am asshole but you are not walking me to the door, I think you are asshole!’

Shane is still laughing as he grabs Ilyas face to plant a kiss on it. ‘Fine, I’ll walk you out if you really want me to.’

They get off the bed and instinctively Shane grabs Ilya's hand. Ilya doesn’t mind. He likes to hold Shane’s soft hands. Together they walk down the stairs, through the living room to the front door. There they stand still. Ilya grabs his face and kisses him once more.

‘I will see you later, Hollander.’

‘Yes, I’ll text you. Goodbye, Ilya’

‘Goodbye, Shane’

Words seemed to linger on their lips, though neither of them dared to say anything.

Shane could only stare at Ilya walking down the stairs and opening the door to go outside. Ilya turns around for a second. Shane’s soft eyes pierce through him and he feels something settle in him. Something good, he thinks. This was good. He blows a kiss to Shane, just to see that pink blush appear on his cheeks once more. Which it does. He winks and mouths ‘Bye’ and turns around to walk outside. He barely closed the door behind him, when he hears footsteps. The door opens again.

Shane stands there. ‘Ilya, I..’ But he seems to change his mind about saying something. Instead he leans forward and presses a quick kiss against Ilya's lips. ‘Bye’. He disappears inside and closes the door again. Leaving him to stand here smiling like an idiot. And wondering what Shane was about to say right there. He had an idea though. Something he would rather keep out of his head for a little while longer. But he can feel it inside himself too. I love you. I love you. He puts his hands into his pockets and walks away. Not being able to get that smile off his face for longer than he wants to admit. Because no matter how scared he is for all these new feelings, they also feel really good. And he knows. Ilya Rozanov loves Shane Hollander.

Chapter 2: Shane

Chapter Notes

This has been in my drafts for so long, I left it for so long and I just decided to post the unedited version. I might go back somewhere in the future to edit it, but for now I just wanted it posted and gone :'

Anyways, this is Shane's POV from the same situation

Shane is really nervous. And extremely anxious. He was pacing around his apartment waiting for Ilya to show up. If that sentence was said to him in his rookie year he wouldn’t have believed it. But it is true. And this time the nerves are even worse. Why the fuck did he think this was a good idea? He had had the idea for a while now. When he would finally invite Ilya to his apartment, he would make it special, he had thought. Just something simple, to get to know each other. But no, now Shane was standing in the dining room next to a table with wine glasses and candles on it. He had been planning all day. He got the ingredients this morning before practice. He wanted to do everything just right. After the game he had gone home immediately, to shower again and put on nice clothes. And then he quickly made the food. It took a while to set everything up, he just hoped Ilya would like it. No. This was too much. But he wants this. He wants to get to know Ilya. For once, not just the sex. Even though the sex was good. Really good. No, this is too much.

Shane blows out the candles. They leave a weird small string of smoke floating towards the ceiling. Suddenly the table that looked so romantic before, now looks cold and boring. No, he is not going to be boring tonight. Shane grabs the lighter and lights the candles again. Better. Yes. This is better. Oh god. He doesn’t know if he can go through with it. Once again, he walks to the mirror in the hall. Are these clothes too much? He is wearing a white button up with classic black pants. He looks good. He thinks at least. God, where is Ilya? Just as he is thinking that a text comes through. ‘I'm here.’

Deep breath. You can do this, Shane, he says to himself. He opens the door and walks down the stairs. There he opens another door. Ilya is standing right outside. He is wearing a tank top and sweatpants. Damn, does he look good. His arm muscles are really visible right now.

‘Hi? Do you need to go somewhere or are you always dressed like this?’, Ilya says.

Oh. Its too much. Shane looks down at his clothes. He knew he should have gone for something more casual. So he says, ‘No, I just… I guess I just wanted to wear something nice? I guess?’ Why can't he just put a normal sentence together? When Ilya is around he is always just standing around blushing. So deep buried in his thoughts, Shane barely hears what Ilya says next.

‘Can I come in now or will you keep me here in dark alley all night?’

Shane can't help but smile at that. ‘No, Ilya, you can come in, my apartment is upstairs.’ Shit. Shit. He called him Ilya. This is not how he wanted to start the evening. Shane walks after Ilya who is already halfway up the stairs and quickly opens up the door to the apartment. When the door is closed, Shane can barely pull himself together before Ilya’s lips are on his. ‘Hi’, he whispers.

‘Hi Hollander’, Ilya grins at him. And then he leans forward and presses another soft kiss against his lips. Shane can't help but kiss back. He feels Ilya’s hands going through the hair on the back of his head.

Then Ilya pulls back and says, ‘You want me to reward you for winning the game tonight?’

Shane sees Ilya’s hands moving towards the buttons on his shirt. He feels his face warm up. Don’t blush, Shane, he reminds himself. And stick to the plan. But he can't help himself. The only thing that comes out is, ‘Yes.’ No. No. ‘Wait, no.’ Now he is the one to pull back.

Ilya seems really weirded out by this. ‘No? You called me here, yes? You don’t want to anymore?’

Fuck, that is not what he means. ‘Yes, I mean yes, I do, but also, I don’t? I kind of just want to talk?’ Now he has to keep going. Keep insisting.

‘Why?’, Ilya asks.

Shane can't look him in his eyes right now, so he just grabs his hand and pulls Ilya with him. ‘I thought it would be nice to get to know each other a little bit more?’ This is it. He pulls Ilya with him, through the hall to the kitchen. He hears that Ilya stopped walking behind him.

‘What is this’, Ilya asks behind him.

Finally, Shane turns around to look at him. And looks into those beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes that he noticed the first time they met. Yeah, Ilya was rough around the edges, but nothing of that in his eyes. They were just the most beautiful shade of blue and so soft. ‘I thought this would be a way to get to know each other.’ He smiles at Ilya and grabs his hand again. Not giving him a chance to back out. He only lets go of his hand to grab out one of the chairs. ‘Will you sit and eat dinner with me?’, Shane asks him. Please say yes. It would be really embarrassing if Ilya said no right now.

Ilya shrugs. ‘Fine, I will sit. But you could have told me this was your plan then I would not have put on clothes like this’. He gestures to his sweatpants and tank top. You look really good in those, Shane wants to say. But instead he grabbed the plates and walked to the kitchen. He had to get the tuna melt out of the oven or it would burn. ‘You like tuna melt, I hope?’, Shane shouts from the kitchen.

Ilya laughs. ‘Yes, I do like!’

Shane had never made tuna melt before. But luckily Ilya was really active on Instagram. Shane had spend the entire morning scrolling through his page to see what his favorite food was. And this made the list. He hopes it was good. He puts the tuna melt on both plates and starts walking to the dining room again. Hopefully he looked more confident than how he felt. ‘One for you sir’, he says while putting a plate in front of Ilya. And then goes to sit at the opposite side of the table, putting down the other plate for him self. Why did he think it was a good idea to sit at opposite sides staring each other right in the eyes? For a minute it is really awkward and silent. Shane decides to fill the silence. ‘Do you want wine?’, he asks.

Ilya is looking down at the table and doesn’t answer. But then he says, ‘Sorry I did not hear what you said.’

‘I asked if you wanted wine?’ Shane repeats. He hopes Ilya likes wine. He had read on Google that it is one of the most romantic drinks to serve at a date. A date. Was this a date? It sure looked like it. He had searched the entire wine section at the grocery store until he found a really expensive one that also happened to look pretty. That one must taste good, right? Shane doesn’t really like wine himself. He would rather just have something without alcohol in it. But Ilya likes to drink as far as he knows.
So… Wine.

‘Oh, yes, sure, I think, I don’t drink wine much.’ Ilya answers.

Shit. That is embarrassing. Fuck. He already messed it up. He tries to cover it up by saying, ‘Sorry, I should have gotten something I knew you liked.’ He had hoped Ilya liked wine.

Ilya’s arm shoots towards his hand. And he looks Shane right in the eyes. ‘No, no, I like, sorry.’

Thank fuck. Shane smiles at him. Ilya looks really handsome. He can't believe this man is in front of him right now. He takes a bite of his sandwich. Ilya doesn’t. ‘You can eat you know’, Shane frowns. Now Ilya does take a bite. Please like it, Shane thinks.

Before he can spiral more, Ilya’s voice already fills the air. ‘It’s really good sandwich, you made yourself?’

‘Yes!’ Shane knew he must have looked a little too happy saying that. But Ilya was just so adorable eating that sandwich. And he was happy he liked it. Finally his nerves start calming down. This is a date, he reminds himself. A date has conversation. ‘So, how was your day?’, he starts.

‘Not good, I lost hockey game’, Ilya says.

‘I'm sorry about that’, Shane says. He was not.

Ilya smiles at him. The cheekiest smile. ‘No, you’re not.’

‘No, I’m not.’ Shane can't help but grin.

‘How was your day, Mr. Hollander? Do something else or did you spend whole day making this?’ Ilya gestures to the table.

Shane feels the warmth creeping up his cheeks again. He did spend the whole day making this. But Ilya did not have to know all of that. So he settles on, ‘Well, no, but also yes, I didn’t really know what to make so I spend a lot of time looking through recipes to think about what to make.’ This was way too much information. But he just could not seem to make himself stop talking when he was with Ilya.

‘You spend so much time thinking about me today?’ Ilya winks at him now.

Winks at him. Winks. It is getting even hotter now. ‘I guess?’, Shane says. Why did he say that? But apparently Ilya barely noticed. He was shifting around in his chair. He looks uncomfortable. Shane is about to say something when Ilya speaks.

‘Much to do for someone who is just sex friend, yes?’

No. This is what Shane was worried about. Ilya does not feel the same about him. Shane barely knows what he feels for Ilya, but it is definitely more than just sex for him. He looks down at his plate. How is he going to respond to this? ‘I just wanted to do something nice I guess, it feels weird to only do stuff and not talk. But if you don’t want to, we can just…’, he says. Fuck this. Shane moves to blow out one of the candles. Fuck this romantic shit.

‘No’, Ilya says now. ‘Is just, I don’t feel so nice?’

What the fuck does that mean? It does not sound good. Shane looks at Ilya again to try and decipher what he means. ‘You don’t feel nice?’

Ilya grimaces. ‘No, I don’t, yes, I don’t know other word for it?’

Oh. That makes sense. ‘Maybe try to explain it to me? I… I want to understand, just… I just don’t want you to not feel nice’. It comes out with more stutter than Shane intended.

‘You want me for sex, yes?’

Shane frowns again. He doesn’t know what Ilya is getting at with this question, but he answers anyway. ‘Well, yes, we did do that before and I wanted to?’

Ilya looks kind of proud when he says that. ‘Okay, yes, I’m good at sex.’

Well, yes, he is. Shane smiles and says, ‘Well, yes, you are. We are good at that, but I thought we would…’

Ilya shakes his head. ‘No, you are not listening, I'm good at sex, but not at this, what this is?’

Shane sighs. That makes more sense. But it looks like Ilya is the one avoiding eye contact now. He waits for Ilya to look him in the eyes again, before he says, ‘You are uncomfortable?’. This was the first thing he thought when he saw Ilya shifting in his chair, so why didn’t he say this earlier?

‘Yes, that is word I mean’, Ilya says.

‘You don’t have to be you know? We have seen each other naked, that’s about as intimate as it gets’. At least it is for Shane.

‘For you maybe yes, but I do that all the time, with all the girls, and you, but this’, Ilya gestures at the table again. ‘This I do not do.’

He didn’t have to mention all the girls, Shane thought. But he gets it. He gets Ilya now. So he understands he has to take the lead now. Deep breath. ‘Will you stay though? With me? I would like to do this with you, I want to get to know you’, Shane says.

Ilya sighs. ‘You do this so you can tell me more about how you won the game, no?’

Shane laughs. ‘Well, no, but now that you mention it, I did score more goals than you did.’ And immediately that cheeky grin returns to Ilya’s face. This is good.

‘Oh, you did? I did not notice. But I made more assists than you did if I can remember, so I made for more goals to be’, Ilya says proudly as he takes a sip of the wine.

And Shane can breathe again. Ilya is laughing. ‘You know the assists don’t matter when you don’t win the game, Rozanov’, Shane tries to sound flirty.

‘They do when it means I made more goals than you, Hollander’, Ilya says with that damned smirk on his face.

They finish the rest of their food and drinks in silence. Ilya is a really fast drinker, because Shane needs to keep refilling his glass. Thank god he likes the wine, cause Shane does not. Somebody has to drink it. And it is silent, but it does not feel uncomfortable at all.

When both their plates are empty, Shane picks them up and wants to walk to the kitchen, when Ilya says, ‘I can help you clean those?’

He kind of wants Ilya to come with him but that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly, Shane decides. ‘I think I’ve got this, Rozanov, it’s only two plates’, Shane laughs. ‘You can sit on the couch if you want? I will be right back. And you can bring your wine glass, there’s a table there as well.’ He turns around to walk to the kitchen. It feels nice, having Ilya here. Homey. He always liked his apartment, but it was a little empty. But now that Ilya is here it suddenly feels more like home. It is a weird feeling to have, Shane thinks. Deep in thought, he cleans everything up, and walks over to the couch. Ilya is already sitting there. He doesn’t want to sit too close. The dinner was so intimate already, he doesn’t want to force Ilya to do stuff he isn’t comfortable with. So he decides to sit on the other side of the couch.

Immediately Ilya breaks the ice. ‘So, what do you want to talk about, Hollander? It was your idea, yes?’

Damn him. Shane tries to steer the conversation to a more serious topic. ‘I would love to hear more about Russia, if you would tell me?’. He does want to hear more about where Ilya grew up. He wants to know everything about Ilya.

Ilya sounds a little cold when he says, ‘Nothing to say. Russia is where I was born and my family lives there, that is it.’

Now Shane is even more curious. Ilya always sounds so passionate when he is speaking Russian. And he has his Russian friends, so there must be something he likes there? So, he pushes a little. ‘Is it nice there? Do you like it there?’

‘Yes, it is beautiful country. I was born there, so yes, I like it there.’

Good. That’s good. That means Ilya has something to fall back on at least. He doesn’t hear Ilya talk about his family often though. So, Shane asks, ‘How is your family, do you talk to them often?’ But immediately he regrets the question when he sees Ilya staring off into space with a sad look in his eyes.

‘No, I do not. My brother only calls me when he needs money and my father…’ Ilya stops and looks at Shane.

‘What about your father?’, Shane asks. Ilya didn’t finish his sentence and now he wants to know. Why does he have to be so curious about everything all the time?

Ilya starts talking again. ‘I do not want to talk about him please. You can tell me about your parents? They are nice?’

Shane breathes. This is better, he knows how to talk about his parents. ‘Yes, they are very nice. My mom helps me a lot with hockey and brand deals and stuff. My dad doesn’t really know that much about it, but I can talk with him a lot. Just about stuff, you know?’

‘Do they know? About you?’, Ilya asks.

Shane looks down. ‘No, they don’t. Not yet, I don’t think I’m ready for that.’ This was true. But he was getting closer everyday.

‘Would they not be good? They are good parents, yes?’, Ilya asks now.

Shane can't help but smile at that. Yes, he had the best parents. Still, he was nervous about coming out to them. ‘I think they would be good. But I don’t know if I’m ready to be that with anyone yet.’ Yet. Soon. Not yet.

Ilya shuffles closer to him. ‘You are that with me. Is not so hard?’

Shane looks at him now. Just looking in those eyes there is only one answer to that question. ‘No, it’s not.’ It really isn’t. He has done so many things in his life. And hockey, he is so good at hockey. It comes easy to him. But somehow nothing is as easy as just being himself with Ilya. It feels safe.

‘Then you will be good, I know you will.’ Ilya nudges his arm.

Would it be okay to get closer to him now? Shane does it anyway. He shifts a little closer to Ilya. Now they are next to each other, almost touching their knees. Shane is extremely aware of this little fact. Somehow there is more tension between them than ever before. ‘Does anyone know about you?’, Shane blurts out.

Ilya’s eyes widen as if he didn’t expect this. But he says, ‘Yes, I have friend in Russia, Svetlana. She knows. But not much people need to know. My team only sees me with girls.’

Shane does not like to hear about Ilya’s history with girls. He is already painfully aware of all the sexual partners Ilya has had.

Apparently, Ilya notices, because he says, ‘Does this bother you? That I’m with girls?’

Shane feels his cheeks get red. Again. He has to stop being this obvious. ‘No, no. Of course not. I know you have been with girls. A lot of girls. But now you are also with me, but also with girls.’ It does bother him though. Especially because Shane is only with Ilya.

Ilya grins at him. ‘A lot of girls yes, that is right, all the girls want me, I’m sexy of course they want me.’

He is sexy. But Shane is not going to say that. He won’t give Ilya that satisfaction. ‘You know that is not what I mean, Ilya.’ He really tries to sound serious. And then he can't keep it in. ‘I mean, yes, of course you’re sexy…’ Shane almost can not believe it when he sees a flush creeping up Ilya’s face. He has never seen Ilya blush before.

‘You never call me sexy. So you think I’m sexy?’ Ilya is still blushing.

‘Well, yes, I wouldn’t have invited you here otherwise’, Shane says cheekily.

‘Oh, Hollander, this hurts me!’ Ilya puts his hand to his heart and laughs. ‘I thought you wanted to talk to me tonight because I have amazing personality, but now you only want me because I’m sexy?’

Shane does not believe for one second that Ilya is actually hurt. So he punches him in the arm. ‘You're an asshole, you know that?’. Then he starts laughing too.

‘Yes, but you like asshole me, yes?’

Shane has to admit. ‘Yes, I even like asshole you.’ A little too much.

Their knees touch now. Just for a second, but Shane can feel the electricity shooting through his body. He stares at Ilya now, feeling the tension. But Ilya looks aways and shifts to stand up. Fuck, no, he has to do something. ‘Will you stay? I mean… You don’t have to leave tonight, right? You can stay here with me, I have a lot of room, even have a guest room if you don’t want to be… I don’t know. I'm sorry, you decide, I know we don’t do this.’ This is stupid. Guest room? He wants Ilya to stay in his room.

Ilya smiles and puts a hand on his knee. ‘Okay, I will stay. Only because you want me so much.’

Shane stomps him again, while Ilya’s hand is burning into his knee. ‘Asshole’.

‘You like it’, Ilya winks.

‘Yeah, I like you,’ Shane blurts out. He had not meant to say it out loud. But it just happened. And Ilya is not saying anything. And now he is panicking. And embarrassed. He turns his head away. ‘I'm sorry I shouldn’t have said that.’ But then he feels a hand under his chin that turns his head toward Ilya again.

‘No, no’, Ilya says while his thumb strokes Shane’s cheek. ‘I like you too, Hollander.’

That gets his attention. Shane didn’t know what he expected, but he had not expected for Ilya to say it back. ‘You do?’, he asks.

‘Yes, I do, not big deal, you like me, I like you!’ Ilya drops his hand from Shane’s face.

But Shane grabs it again and puts it to his face. And then puts a small kiss on Ilyas knuckles. And then kisses his wrist. And his arm. And then lifts his face so it’s in front of Ilyas face. Really close. And he looks into the softest eyes he has ever seen. Then Ilya closes the distance and presses his lips to Shane’s lips. Just for a second. When he pulls away, those blue eyes are somehow even softer than they were before.

‘You want this now?’, Ilya asks.

Shane nods. ‘Yes, I do, very much.’ He can’t wait actually.

‘I don’t understand, it’s not why you wanted me to come? You want to talk and now you don’t walk to talk anymore?’ Ilya sounds confused.

Asshole. Shane smirks. ‘You need to stop talking and kiss me.’ His heart is beating really loud right now. He hopes Ilya can’t hear it.

Ilya pulls back. ‘No, you kiss me, if you want me.’

He does not have to tell Shane that twice. The second Ilya says that Shane puts his lips on Ilya’s lips. Finally. Their mouths move against each other in a familiar motion. Although there is something unfamiliar about it as well. Shane feels Ilya’s hand moving to his hip and he gets pulled on top of him.

‘This okay?’, Ilya asks.

Shane breathes deeply. ‘Very.’ And he moves to kiss Ilya again. Their lips open to make room for their tongues. As they slip into each others mouths in a slow rhythm, Ilya groans. He grabs Shane’s hips really steady and moves him to his back on the couch. Shane feels his heart flutter a little.

‘This okay?’

Shane nods. It is more than okay. They keep on kissing and he feels Ilya’s hips shift closer against him and start to move slowly. Which feels extremely good. Shane lets out a soft groan and curls his legs on Ilya’s back. Now they are really close together. He feels their breathing getting harder and louder. They pause.

Ilya moves his head back. ‘This is soft couch, but little small, yes?’

Shane giggles. He giggles. This is so embarrassing. He slaps his hand to his face.

‘Don’t hide that pretty face’, Ilya cackles and kisses the tip of Shane’s nose.

‘I giggled, Ilya. It is mortifying’, Shane says. He can barely stand to look Ilya in his eyes. But Ilya looks at him so sweetly. His eyes turn soft.

‘No, moy lapochka, it’s cute’, Ilya says before he kisses Shane’s nose again.

Shane has no idea what those words mean, but they sound really sweet. Maybe it is the way Ilya said them. So tender. Suddenly he is extremely aware of Ilya’s presence.  ‘Do you want to go to my bedroom?’, he asks, feeling a bit shy.

‘Yes, I want to’, Ilya murmurs. ‘Really.’

This could be fun. Shane decides to slip from underneath Ilya. ‘I’ll race you there’, he yells while already halfway to the stairs.

‘No, is unfair’, Ilya yells behind him. ‘You know where bedroom is! I do not know this!’

Knowing that Ilya is right behind him Shane slows down a little. He is not actually planning to win this race. He is barely on top of the stairs when Ilya catches up to him and grabs him by the waist.

‘You think you can play games with me, Shane Hollander?’, Ilya whispers in his ear. And then he plants a kiss on Shane’s neck.

Shane giggles again. It is still just as mortifying, but also something else. It feels free. He is right where he wants to be. Ilya’s strong arms around him and getting playful kisses. It feels so normal.

‘Show me to your bedroom’, Ilya says.

Shane leads him to his bedroom, one of Ilya’s arm still firm around his waist. He wonders what it would be like to do this in front of other people. But for now this was good. He opens the door to his bedroom and leads Ilya through. Suddenly he feels conscious about his bedroom. What if Ilya doesn’t like it? There is a bed, but not much else. Honestly, it is a pretty boring room. But he likes it, not so many distractions. Except for now. His biggest distraction is standing in front of him right now. Who kisses him on the cheek now.

‘Will you get on the bed, please?’

Shane is way too enthusiastic to concern himself with coming across as too eager. He crawls on the bed and sits with his back against the backboard. Ilya stands in front of him. Looking as good as he always does.

Ilya seems to hesitate before he says, ‘I dream of this, you know?’

‘What, me on a bed?’ They have done this before. Shane doesn’t know what Ilya means.

‘No’, Ilya says. He crawls onto the bed until he is face to face with Shane again and kisses his cheek. ‘You in your bed. Your bedroom. Your house.’

Shane is surprised to hear this. He had definitely dreamt about Ilya before, but he never imagined Ilya dreaming about him. He had hoped it, sure, but never thought it would actually be true. Ilya always seemed so casual. ‘You do?’

Ilya kisses Shane’s other cheek. ‘Yes, all the time. It’s annoying. I want to sleep, but then I think of Shane Hollander and how he would feel in his bed.’ And then Ilya kisses him on his mouth, really soft.

‘I dream of you too. In my house’, Shane admits. ‘In my bed.’ He feels his cheeks flush again. But this time he doesn’t care. Ilya is here and Ilya dreams about him. Him. Shane Hollander. Ilya Rozanov dreams about Shane Hollander. He wish he could tell the whole world about this. Somehow this feels like a bigger accomplishment than all the goals he scored and games he had won.

‘Then is good we are here’, Ilya kisses Shane again.

This time Shane kisses him back. And they fall into the rhythm they established earlier. Kissing, tongues slashing against each other, and Ilya with those slow hip movements towards Shane’s hips. Shane starts tugging on Ilyas shirt. He wants to see Ilya completely.  Ilya sits back on his knees and takes his shirt off. Shane does the same with his. Why did he have to wear something with buttons? It takes way too long to get all those undone.

Looking at him, Ilya asks, ‘What do you want to do?’

Shane doesn’t care at all. He wants to do everything. ‘Whatever you want to do.’ This causes Ilya to growl. He hadn’t meant for those words to have this effect, but he is definitely not complaining when Ilya bends down to kiss his neck. And then moves down to his shoulders. Ilya is leaving a trail of soft kisses all over his torso. All the way down to his waistband. Where Shane feels his dick getting harder already.

Ilya’s hands linger right there. ‘This okay?’

Yes, just get on with it! Shane wants to yell at him. But instead he nods. ‘Yes, is okay.’ Finally Ilya takes off Shane’s pants. And his underwear with it too. This causes Shane’s half hard dick to spring free. Ilya strokes it for a few seconds and Shane can’t help the soft sighs escaping from his lips. He looks at Ilya, who looks at him, with… Shane can’t really decipher the look on Ilya’s face. But that doesn’t matter, because Ilya is already taking off his own sweatpants and moves forward to kiss him. Their naked bodies now lying together in an intimate way they never have before.

‘Can I fuck you?’ Ilya asks.

Shane nods and turns his body around. That is how they always do it. But then he feels Ilya’s hand on his arm.

‘No, I want to look at your face this time, okay?’

‘Okay’, Shane grabs the lube and condoms off the nightstand. Ilya takes some on his finger and moves his hand down to Shane’s hole. His fingers go around in slow circles, tormenting the opening. It feels so damn good.

‘This okay? You okay?’

Yes, more than okay. ‘Please.’ Shane can’t stop the moan coming from his mouth. He puts his knees closer to his face to give Ilya more room.

‘Yoga is helping you do this?’

Shane laughs. Yoga was in fact helping him do this. ‘Ilya, please just fuck me.’ Ilya puts some more lube on his fingers and slowly puts one of them inside. Shane gasps. With slow movements up and down Ilya puts another finger in him. ‘Please, more’, he moans. Ilya bends down to kiss Shane, while keeping his fingers inside him, doing their slow dance.

‘You ready? You want to?’, Ilya whispers in Shane’s mouth.

Both of them are breathing really hard now. But the only thing Shane wants is to feel Ilya inside of him right now. ‘Please Ilya, yes, I want to feel you.’ Apparently, that is all Ilya needed to hear.

--------

Shane wakes up. He feels Ilya’s breath close to his ear and his arm steady around his waist. It feels so good to just lie here like this. He keeps his eyes closed to just enjoy this moment. It is already getting light outside so he knows Ilya will have to leave soon. But he just wants to stay here, in this moment, a little while longer. He always dreamt about waking up in Ilya’s arms and now it was real. He was not about to ruin this. Ilya must be waking up, because he feels an arm moving vaguely against his back.

‘Shane’, Ilya nudges him. ‘Shane, moy lapochka, wake up.’

There is that word again. Shane tries to repeat it in his head so that he can look it up later. He can’t let Ilya know that he was already awake, so he just stirs a little. Soft little groans slipping from his mouth as he fakes just waking up. ‘Ilya, I want to sleep’, he adds.

But Ilya nudges him again. ‘Ah, no sleep Shane, I need to go with the plane. Playing a game tomorrow remember?’

Now Shane really groans. He really doesn’t want Ilya to leave right now. ‘Okay, okay, I’m getting up already, relax.’ He has no choice but to turn around. He looks at Ilya who is looking at him with tired eyes. ‘You actually stayed.’

Ilya smiles. ‘Yes, I stayed, you asked, remember?’

Oh, he remembers. That was the scariest thing Shane had done in a long time. He smiles at Ilya when he says, ‘I know, but you actually stayed.’ He still can't believe it.

Ilya leans forward and kisses him softly. ‘Yes, I did.’

Shane now fully turns around and they lie there. Just for a minute, staring at each other. He tries to memorize every single detail of this moment to get it into his brain, so he can remember it forever. The tension between them has lifted a little but now there is something else in the air. Something Shane can’t quite put his finger on. But it feels good. Just to be here, together. Ilya leans forward and kisses Shane deeply. It takes everything in him to pull back. ‘Ilya, it’s getting late, you need to go or your team will leave without you!’ He doesn’t want Ilya to miss any games on his behalf.

But Ilya shakes his head. ‘No, is fine, I want to stay here, stay with you.’ And he presses a little kiss on the tip of Shane’s nose again.

Shane laughs but his heart warms at the thought of what Ilya just said. ‘Ilya, you know you can’t.’ That makes Ilya throw his hands in the air.

‘Yes, Shane, I know! I can not stay! God, you are so boring, first is: pleaaase Ilya, stay, I’m so bored I need handsome man to stay with me and now handsome man wants to stay and you say go!’ Ilya rolls off the bed to put on his clothes. ‘You are going to let me out, yes?’

Shane groans. He does not want to get out of bed. But it is Ilya. So he says, ‘Fine, I guess I can walk you to the door, but I’d rather stay in bed.’ He wonders if he comes across as mysterious. Probably not, since he is really bad at hiding his feelings. Suddenly Ilya jumps on top of him on the bed and starts tickling him. Shane laughs. ‘Ilya, get your hands off of me!’

But Ilya doesn’t stop. ‘No, Hollander, I will not get my hands off you! You say I am asshole but you are not walking me to the door, I think you are asshole!’

Shane is still laughing but he knows he can only stop Ilya one way. He grabs Ilya’s face and plants a kiss on his lips. ‘Fine, I’ll walk you out if you really want me to.’ They both get off the bed and Shane grabs Ilya’s hand. It feels so normal to do that. Ilya doesn’t pull back. Together they walk down the stairs, through the living room to the front door. There they stand still.

Ilya grabs his face and kisses him once more. ‘I will see you later, Hollander.’

‘Yes, I’ll text you. Goodbye, Ilya.’ Shane feels sad that Ilya is leaving, but he tries not to show it. And either way, he is hopeful that they will see each other soon.

‘Goodbye, Shane.’

Shane feels a flutter in his heart every time Ilya says his first name. They had never really done that before but yesterday was different. Intimate. It felt good to just call each other by their first names. Still, words seemed to linger on their lips, though neither of them dared to say anything. Shane could only stare at Ilya walking down the stairs and opening the door to go outside. Ilya turns around for a second and blows a kiss at him. Shane blushes.

Ilya winks and mouths ‘Bye’ and turns around.

Shane hesitates. He really wants to say something but he doesn’t know how. It barely crossed his mind when his body was already moving. Down the stairs to the door Ilya just went through. He opens it and stares at Ilya standing there. ‘Ilya, I…’ But he doesn’t know what to say. So instead he leans forward and presses a quick kiss against Ilya’s lips. ‘Bye.’ He disappears inside and closes the door again. Resting his head against the door he breathes heavily. Now he knows what he had been about to say to Ilya before he stopped himself. It was way to early for that. But he could hear the words thumping in his head. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Fuck. Shane Hollander loves Ilya Rozanov.