Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories:

Gen, M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Eric Bennett & Brandon Wiebe, Ilya Rozanov & Brandon Wiebe, Ilya Rozanov & Eric Bennett, Ilya Rozanov & Eric Bennett & Brandon Wiebe, Eric Bennett/Kyle Swift, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Ilya Rozanov, Eric Bennett, Brandon Wiebe, Harris Drover, Zane Boodram, Evan Dykstra, Wyatt Hayes, Troy Barrett, Scott Hunter (Game Changers), Chiron (Game Changers), Kyle Swift, Shane Hollander, Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Luca Haas

Additional Tags:

Bisexual Club, A lot of Wiebe and Eric having a year-long text conversation, A little of Ilya talking to each of them too, Ilya being chaotic bisexual, but not in a sexy way, except that everything Ilya does is in a sexy way, Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Book 5: Role Model (Game Changers), Discussions of Homophobia, Roger Crowell is terrible, obviously, Coming Out, coaching hockey, Mentioned Scott Hunter (Game Changers), Spoilers for Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Canon Compliant, POV Outsider, The Kingfisher (Game Changers), Mentioned Kip Grady, Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), ilya rozanov is an annoying little shit, queer hockey gossip, Light Angst, retirement is hard, Heart-to-Heart, middle aged men are the worst gossips, Supportive Eric Bennett, Supportive Brandon Wiebe, bisexual solidarity, Supportive Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), FanMail Fallout, Group Chats, Centaurs chaos, Wiebe's coming out journey, Decent Dudes of hockey

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-07 Updated: 2026-08-13 Words: 51,305 Chapters: 19/?

Bisexual! This is great! Me too!

Summary

Old friends Eric Bennett and Brandon Wiebe realize - oh yeah, that time when we were best friends at hockey camp in high school, actually maybe we were boyfriends? They’ve been casual friends for decades since then, but when Eric comes out publicly, Wiebe reaches out. They catch up and debrief life and hockey as bisexual men while Eric enjoys his first year of retirement and Wiebe navigates his first year as a coach.
Ilya Rozanov is just delighted to have bisexual friends. Even if they don’t always know he’s bisexual too. And since his love language is being a little shit, he badgers them into bisexual solidarity.

OR:
They’re all bisexual and talking to each other

Notes

DoubleDecker likes to read funny fics and write angsty ones. SugMak likes to write funny fics and read angsty ones. They have been beta-ing each other’s fics in this and other fandoms for a while, and decided with their forces combined they might be able to write some stuff they’d both wanted to read.
(This is an oversimplification, both of our fics include humor. But for real, SugMak is completely incapable of angst on her own.)
(SugMak would like to note that she just assumed everyone cracked jokes in the middle of their own emotional breakdowns.)

SugMak noticed how excited Ilya gets anytime someone tells him they’re bisexual. DoubleDecker wanted some Eric in the Kingfisher scene at the end of SugMak’s “Assholes Anonymous” fic but it didn’t fit. Thus this fic was born.

Chapter 1: Teenage Bi Panic: All Grown Up

Chapter Notes

This chapter came to be because we needed to establish that Eric knew Wiebe was bi. But once we noticed that Wiebe and Eric are exactly the same age, we played around with that and became obsessed with this imaginary friendship. And then this whole fic turned into that plus Ilya instead of Ilya plus that. Oops. If you came here for chaotic bisexual Ilya, there will be plenty of that, but you have to wait until chapter two. Sorry.

We flip back and forth with their POVs in this one. You can also tell whose POV you’re reading by noting their names on the text chain. (First name only means it’s their POV.)

July 2020

Brandon Wiebe was scrolling through his Instagram feed. He probably should have been doing some prep work for the season. He was a new coach on a basement-dwelling team but he wasn’t going to bend to the low expectations. He knew the Centaurs had potential, and he needed to do his research on his players to figure out how to tap into that potential. 

That’s how he was justifying the scrolling he was currently doing, at least. He had followed all the Centaurs, as well as a few other players around the league. And, if he maybe poked his head down some non-Centaurs related rabbit holes, that was nobody’s business but his. Which is how he came upon the pictures from Scott Hunter’s wedding. 

Brandon had been following Scott on all social media for the past three years. He didn’t imagine he had been Hunter’s only new follower in the aftermath of the man’s spectacularly dramatic coming-out. Flipping through Hunter’s wedding photos, Brandon smiled at the familiar face of Eric Bennett. Of course Benny would be at the wedding. Brandon knew those two were tight. He clicked over to Eric’s profile to see what he had posted recently.

Eric’s first post was from Hunter’s wedding. A picture of him smiling with Hunter and Carter Vaughn. One of the two grooms dancing. And a picture of Eric with a younger man that made Brandon stop and stare, a slow grin spreading across his face. They were holding hands on the beach, smiling at each other like they were the only people who existed in the world. It had been a long time since he’d seen Benny looking so happy. Brandon pulled up their old text thread. Wow. He didn’t realize how long it had been since they’d spoken - the last text was a few years old. But he and Eric had always had the kind of friendship you could easily slip back into, even after some time has passed.  

***

Eric’s phone dinged with an incoming text.  

Wiebe
[Image]
Retirement is looking good on you

He hadn’t really heard from a lot of people who saw the wedding pictures beyond a few “WTF”s, and a couple “Is this a joke”s that Eric had ignored. But Wiebe’s message seemed genuine. The two of them went back 25 years to hockey summer camps they did together as kids. When the other guys had realized they were too decent to find their asshole antics funny, too smart to be intimidated by a bunch of dudebros, and too good at hockey to be teased, they were kind of on their own. They’d drifted in and out of each other’s lives since then, as much as hockey allowed. 

Eric
Feels pretty good

Wiebe
I never got around to texting that I was sorry to hear about the divorce 
Though I guess that sympathy is unnecessary at this point. 

Eric
The divorce came first. It wasn’t like that. 

Wiebe
I know, man. I didn’t mean to imply
I know you’re not a cheater. 

Eric was surprised to find himself blowing out a relieved breath. Of course he wouldn’t cheat - anyone who knew him should know that. But it was still nice to hear Wiebe say so.

Eric
Yeah. 
I mean. I didn’t think you would 
But some people have so, you know. 

Wiebe
Some people are idiots

Eric grinned. He sometimes forgot how much he liked Wiebe until they were talking again. It was never a conscious decision when they lost touch. Just hockey and life. 

Wiebe
What’s his name?

Eric smiled as he typed Kyle’s name. Wiebe asked a few questions - what Kyle was like, how they met and all that. But as they talked about his boyfriend, Eric felt like he needed to clear something up. Wiebe knew Holly, had been to their wedding. They had gone out to dinner with him and his wife more than once. 

Eric
I just
I mean

Wiebe
?

Eric
I don't want you to think I was lying, being with Holly for 20 years. 
I'm bi. 
My marriage was real. We just grew apart. 

Wiebe
I didn’t think you were lying Benny.  

*** 

Shit, the thought hadn’t even occurred to Brandon, but he guessed he could see how some people might. People who didn’t think bisexuality was real, maybe. Obviously that wasn’t a problem Brandon had. There weren’t a lot of people he had come out to. His wife. A few close friends away from hockey. In some ways it didn’t seem to matter much - he had fallen in love with a woman so the world assumed what it assumed and he didn’t have to hide his relationship like he knew so many queer players must still be doing. 

But sometimes, it felt like he had cut off a part of himself by pretending to the world it didn’t exist. Like he was erasing not just his own sexuality, but whole parts of his past. It would feel good to let someone in hockey know, someone who was safe. He also felt a little nostalgic for his 16 year old self that had been confused and crushing on the quiet hot goalie at the hockey camp they had gone to together. Still, his heart raced a little as he typed his next message.

Brandon
Wish I’d known when we were kids. 
I might have felt a little less alone in my bi panic

Eric Bennett
For real?

Brandon

Actual footage of me at sixteen 

***

Eric spluttered out a laugh. He thought back to that last summer they spent together at camp, sharing meals, gravitating to each other during their free time, falling asleep in the same bed while they watched some show or movie. 

Eric
It didn’t occur to me at the time because I was still in a bit of denial but I think I might have had a crush on you back then. 

Wiebe
Oh, I wasn’t in denial at all. I DEFINITELY had a crush on you. 

Eric smiled. Kyle was going to love this. He could just hear his teasing now. “Oh, what could it possibly mean that my cute bisexual crush and I like to spend all our time together and watch movies and cuddle in bed most nights…?” Come to think of it…

Eric
Were we… I don’t know… dating without realizing it?

Wiebe
Oh jeez
I just thought I was crushing on a straight guy.
But now that I think about it…
Maybe?

Eric
Kyle is never gonna let me live this one down. He was so proud of being my first boyfriend. 

Wiebe
I’ll have to apologize to him whenever I meet him

Eric liked the idea of Wiebe meeting Kyle. For one thing, it would mean they actually kept in touch better. And it was a small group of queer guys in and around hockey - it was important that they stuck together. Kyle and Brando would definitely get a kick out of each other, too.  

Eric
It’s probably for the best we didn’t realize it. Hockey back then was…

Wiebe
It really was

Eric
I’m just glad I never had to hide it when I played. I mean, not saying anything is one thing, but actively having to hide it would have sucked.

***

Brandon stared for a moment at Eric’s last text. It had sucked, having to hide. Brandon was glad that Eric never had to deal with that but he wasn’t going to open up the conversation to explain that he had dealt with it. Brandon had only ever told his wife about that and at least for now, that was how it was going to stay. 

Brandon
Yeah 
Hockey was a different place 25 years ago. 
Fuck, it was a different place 4 years ago. Your buddy did good. 

Eric Bennett
I’m pretty proud of him
It was something special to be around 

Brandon
Hard to overshadow actually winning a cup. That must have been a wild night. 

Eric Bennett
It really was.

Brandon
Made it a little easier to decide to come back to coach, knowing things might be changing. 

Eric Bennett
I’m glad. I was really happy to hear you took that coaching gig.

Brandon
Yeah?

Eric Bennett
Of course. We need more people on that side of the bench who aren’t total pricks. 

Brandon
I do love a low bar

Eric Bennett
Well maybe you can work on raising it for everyone else. 

Brandon
Here’s hoping
Not gonna lie though. I almost didn’t take it because of all the bullshit in the league. 
Do I really want to be a part of the machine that chews players up and spit them out?

Eric Bennett
You don’t have to be. 
You know what a coach can do to set the tone in the room

Brandon
Yeah. 
And I told the organization the kind of culture I want to create. 
They seemed to be on-board with it but you never really know for sure until some kind of shit hits the fan. 

Eric Bennett
From what I hear, that’s the kind of organization they are. 
Probably why they wanted you. 
You have that rep for being decent, you know. 

Brandon
Well I’m sure as shit not going to stand for hazing or slurs thrown around by my players

Eric Bennett
Good. You wouldn’t believe how many teams treat the Prohibited Conduct policy as an open joke. 

Brandon
I bet I would

Eric Bennett
Do you think

He thought that Benny had just hit send too quickly on the last message but the bouncing dots didn’t appear again and the start of a question just hung out there. 

Brandon
Do I think?

Eric Bennett
Do you think you might let the world know there’s more than one queer guy in hockey?
Sorry, is that out of line to ask?
I’m not trying to pressure you

Brandon
No, it’s not out of line…
I don’t know.
Would you judge me if I said no?

Eric Bennett
Fuck, no. 
You have enough to worry about with that shit team and Crowell at the helm of the league.
Believe me, I get not wanting to rock the boat. 

Brandon
Maybe once I get Ottawa a cup. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, right. Keep dreaming Brando. 

Brandon
I think this team is better than they’ve been playing. 

Eric Bennett
Well, since they’re hovering around the bottom of the league, that’s not saying much

Brandon
I’m serious. There’s some real talent on this team.  We’ve got a new hot shot rookie coming up and Hayes in net. So many of the pieces are there. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, I’m glad Wyatt got out of Toronto. He’s got real talent and they were criminally underusing him.
And Toronto’s team is full of pricks. 
Wyatt’s a good guy, though. I think you’re going to like him.

Brandon
Do you all have like secret goalie meetups or something?

Eric Bennett
Yes. We meet every week under cover of darkness and perform sacred goalie rituals. 

Brandon
I’m like 90% sure you’re joking but goalies are weird, man. 

Eric Bennett
And then we all pitch in for drinks for whoever’s about to face someone like Hollander or Rozanov

Brandon
See that’s exactly what I mean
Not your weird goalie goat sacrifices, but we’ve got one of the top scorers in the league!
There’s no reason a team with a player like Rozanov can’t get there. 
Am I crazy? 

Eric Bennett
Who told you about the goats?

Brandon
🙄

Eric Bennett
No, I get it
I mean you might be a little nuts but I can see the vision.
Have you met Rozanov yet?

Brandon
Not yet. What’re your thoughts on him?

***

Eric turned the question over in his brain. Rozanov was a complicated guy. Super annoying for sure. He seemed to take a special delight in pissing off pretty much everyone in the league, but it was never mean-spirited. He was also the most perceptive fucker Eric had ever met. He’d managed to figure out that Eric was both retiring and bi before Eric had even told Scott last year. But Rozanov kept those secrets when Eric asked him to, which was decent of him. He tried to think of the best way to describe him to someone who would have to coach him.   

Eric
He’s more perceptive than you’d think, and more annoying than he has any right to be.
But he’s kind of the most charming asshole you’ll ever meet

Chapter 2: He’s Such a Troll

Chapter Notes

Since this one goes back and forth between the text chain and the irl scene, we italicized the texting to help you switch gears in your brain. DoubleDecker likes consistency in her formatting and needed to let you know why it’s different in this chapter. SugMak cares about formatting consistency 0%.
(SugMak thinks this is an unfair characterization. She cares about consistency at least 3%)

October 2020 

Brandon watched Ilya Rozanov joking with Harris Drover, their social media guy. He wasn’t so hands-on that he’d usually supervise something like this, but he wanted to see this interaction to get a sense of his captain. Harris was friendly, open, and openly gay, and he was a member of staff, not a player or a coach. Brandon’s grandmother always said you could tell more about how someone treated someone they considered “staff” than how they treated their peers.

So far, Rozanov had met Harris’s new “introduce yourself to the fans” initiative with mild bemusement and a touch of fondness. He’d met Harris himself with playful delight, which struck Brandon as a good sign. 

“Okay we’ll start off easy,” Harris was saying. 

Rozanov’s lips quirked up. “That’s what my first girlfriend told me.”

Harris snorted. “I’m not touching that.”

Ilya frowned playfully. “This is also something she said to me.”

Harris laughed. 

Bradon
He’s actually… really witty

Eric Bennett
Who…?

Brandon
Rozanov. 
I kept hearing what a dick he is

Eric Bennett
Yeah. And? 
You’re not gonna try to tell me none of it’s true, are you?
‘Cause I’ve been on the ice with him…

Harris was throwing out random questions rapid fire. 

“Which Centaur is the most fun to watch on the ice?” Harris asked. 

“Ilya Rozanov,” Roz said, not missing a beat. 

“You can’t watch yourself, Roz.”

“Fine. Chuck,” Ilya said. 

“The mascot isn’t a player!”

“Harris! He might hear you!” Ilya responded. 

Brandon
I mean, I expected the usual crap
You know, “suck my dick,” “your mom,” etc..

Eric Bennett
Yeah. I told you, he’s not a complete dickhead
I’ve never heard him call anyone a cocksucker, for example

Brandon
The bar is in hell
🔥👿🔥

“Favorite thing to do after a game?”

Ilya smirked. “This is family friendly, yes?”

“Yes, Ilya!” said Harris, with a loud braying laugh. 

Brandon
I'm not seeing the asshole yet

Eric Bennett
Brando, you’re his coach. 
I imagine he doesn’t want to commit career suicide by antagonizing you

Brandon
That’s true. I am very intimidating

Eric Bennett
Sure you are.

“What’s your most used emoji?” 

“Harris, why do you say family friendly in one breath and ask me this question with the next?” Ilya asked with exaggerated patience.

“Oh come on, you can’t think of any family friendly answers to that?”

Ilya clutched his chest in mock shock. “You wish me to lie to our fans?!”

Eric Bennett
He probably saves it for games

Brandon
I can live with that

Eric Bennett
He loves getting under people's skin on the ice
And off the ice
Sometimes he shows up at our bar just to antagonize Scotty
Actually, I take it back
He’s such a fucking dick 
I don’t know what guy you’re seeing

Brandon
Antagonize how?
Not because Scott’s gay, right?

Brandon looked up at Rozanov’s playful smile and easy banter with the obviously gay man in front of him. (Really. How many pride pins fit on a jean jacket? Where did one even find that many different pride pins? Had he been collecting them for years or did he find a box of them at some queer rummage sale?)  He looked back down at his phone confused. It didn’t track that this Ilya would antagonize the only openly gay man in the league.

Eric Bennett
No, nothing like that
He’s an ass about a lot of things. Most things, really, but that’s not one of them.  
He was actually the only player to show up to Scott Hunter Night in Vegas three years ago, besides the Admirals. 

Brandon
Well that’s something

Eric Bennett
He’s also one of the only ones who ever comes to the Kingfisher
It’s like the rest of them think queerness is contagious and they’ll catch it if they sit down in a gay bar

Brandon
God this sport sucks sometimes

“Favorite food?” Harris asked.

Ilya exaggerated his Russian accent. “Da, is borscht.”

Harris snorted. “Borscht?”

“Da,” said Ilya, egged on by Harris’s laughter. “Borscht and herring and vodka.”

“You know you can say, like, chocolate chip cookies.”

“Nyet. Russians do not approve of things that bring joy. We eat sadness for breakfast and tragedy for lunch.”

Harris grinned. “And for dinner?”

Ilya matched his grin. 

“Victory.”

Harris rolled his eyes, still obviously amused. “Great. Very 80s movie villain, which is exactly the family friendly vibe we’re trying to project here.”

Eric Bennett
But he’s still such a troll 
“Hunter, I am skating circles around you tonight. It is time for you to retire, I think.” 
“Bennett, why is it so quiet? It was louder in here before I scored that last goal off you.”
“Hunter, is your boyfriend in the stands? Will he realize he can do better when he sees you lose this faceoff to me?”

Brandon grinned. Rozanov was just coming up when Brandon retired but he remembered that kind of chirping, even when Ilya was a rookie. 

“Coach likes that answer! Look at that smile,” said Ilya, startling Brandon enough to look up. 

“I just didn’t realize my captain was basically a Tolstoy character,” Brandon tossed back. 

“I’m more of a Dostoyevsky kind of guy,” Ilya said, with a wink. 

“Wait, so you read Russian literature?” asked Harris, lifting his camera back up so fast Brandon was worried he might break something.

Ilya shot him a pitying look. “No, Harris. We have SparkNotes in Russia, too.”

Brandon shook his head in amusement and went back to his phone.

Brandon
I think he pisses you all off so much because he’s clever. You just can’t come up with a good comeback

Eric Bennett
Ouch. 

Harris tried to rein Rozanov back in. “Okay, but seriously. Are you going to give me any answers I can use?”

Ilya smiled at him. “I am sorry. I will try. Next question.”

“What are you most excited about, this Centaurs season?”

Ilya seemed to take a moment to consider this. “Every season is a new start.” Behind the camera, Harris nodded enthusiastically. “The people here are some of the best I’ve known. I am excited to begin again with such good people. Especially our new coach. I am very excited to work with him this year.”

“That’s great!” said Harris. “Ok, who do you play in Mario Cart?”

“Princess Peach.”

Brandon
I think he’s sweet

Eric Bennett
Sweet?!

Harris sputtered out a laugh. “Why Princess Peach?”

“She is agile. Quick on the turns. And she has style. She is just like me. Princess Peach kicks a-”

Harris coughed. 

“She kicks butt. I am undefeated”

“Didn’t those kids at the hospital beat you last year?”

“I am undefeated against Sh… the Centaurs. I am practicing for the kids. They will not best me again.”

Brandon
Yeah. Sweet. 

“Best non-hockey athlete?”

“Simone Biles, obviously.”

Eric Bennett
I’ve heard people describe Ilya Rozanov in many ways. Some of them even complimentary. I’ve never heard anyone call him sweet.

“What would you be doing if you weren’t a professional hockey player?”

“Underwear model.”

Harris and Wiebe both snorted. “Here’s an idea. What about something we can show the young fans?” said Harris.

“Professional Zamboni racer.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing,” said Harris. 

“I will make it a thing. You will not shatter my dream, Harris.”

“I would never!” Harris said, putting his hand to his chest, in mock offense. “Okay, last question. What do you want fans to know going into this season?”

Ilya Rozanov thought about that for a moment. “This team is something to be proud of. There is more talent here than most people realize, and some of the best people I have known. If this team is…” he trailed off, clearly looking for the right words. He muttered something under his breath in Russian. “Reflection. If this team is a reflection of the city, then the city should be proud.”

Brandon
Then you’re not seeing what I’m seeing. I think Rozanov is the best front man this team could ask for.

Eric Bennett
God help you

Chapter End Notes

This one took us down a rabbit hole of Russian literature. We also had a serious conversation about whether or not there are SparkNotes in Russia. And then SugMak googled whether they did (they do) and then sent DoubleDecker way more information than she asked for or needed (which was none) on the subject. We’re remarkably well-adjusted people and don’t take writing fanfic too seriously at all.

Chapter 3: Let's Call that Plan Z

Chapter Notes

It’s here! Sorry for the delay, y’all. We had a version of this chapter drafted when we posted the previous one, but then DoubleDecker had all these Thoughts on, like, making this chapter actually do something for the narrative, or whatever, like a lame-o, and then SugMak had all these Big Opinions on subtlety and narrative structure like a loser. We hope adding some Troyishness into the fic is worth the wait!

October 2020

Bradon threw his clipboard down on his desk after the loss to the Toronto Guardians. He was so pissed off he was surprised there wasn’t steam coming out of his ears. The Toronto team embodied everything he hated about hockey culture and why he almost didn’t come back to coach. Losing to them, and having to see the smug look on their coach’s face was especially galling. He paced his office trying to figure out where he could vent out his frustration. He couldn’t go to his coaching staff - it was important to him that he maintained a degree of professionalism with them. He certainly wasn’t going to go to his players, although he was happy to note that they had held themselves to a higher standard than the Toronto players, no matter what the Guardians threw their way tonight. What he needed was a friend who he could vent to about hockey, who would actually understand what he was talking about. 

Brandon
I can’t say this to anyone else but I fucking hate Toronto

It was great to have Benny as a sounding board as he navigated his first year as a coach. He had a great hockey IQ and valuable goalie insights into most of the players in the league. But most importantly on a night like tonight, it was good to talk to another queer man about all the bullshit that came up in the league. Eric replied almost immediately. 

Eric Bennett
Always happy to be part of the Toronto sucks party
Was it anything specific or just a general “Toronto is terrible” kind of night

Brandon
Let’s just say, if I was taking a drink every time one of them said something homophobic, gross, or anatomically improbable, I would have passed out by the middle of the first period.
I swear they think more about gay sex than any queer man I’ve ever met

Eric Bennett
Yeah, you really do need to meet Kyle at some point

Brandon
😂
They even implied that Rozanov had signed with us because of some bizarre group blowjob scenario 
Roz just raised his eyebrows and said - “Wow. Sounds impressive. Jealous?” 
It was the highlight of the game. 
Which isn’t saying much. 
The game fucking sucked.

Eric Bennett
Gotta say, I’m not a fan of how much you like Roz
But, unfortunately all that shit with Toronto tracks
One of those players threw a slur at Scotty after he came out and I’m pretty sure I saw the coach fucking laugh

Brandon
Of course he did
Fucking Bruce Cooper is who I look at and am like, everything he does as a coach, do the opposite

Eric Bennett
Which you do
I think your win-loss records are exact inverses of each other
Well done

Brandon
Thanks, Benny. Your support means so much 🙄

Eric Bennett
Always happy to help.
The good news is, your team vibes are also polar opposites

Brandon
Damn straight
Those players are so vile. 
At least my guys didn’t stoop to their level
I thought Roz was going to break Kent’s skull from some of the shit he was spewing

Eric Bennett
That’s surprising. Rozanov doesn’t normally let guys like that get under his skin
Getting under people’s skin is usually his specialty

Brandon
Is that a compliment I hear?

Eric Bennett
No. Absolutely not.  
Seriously, you’ve done a good job setting the tone with them
You should be proud of that.

Brandon took a deep cleansing breath. He knew Eric was right. And he was really proud of how his team acted tonight. It was better to focus on that than the shit coming from the other side. 

Brandon
Thanks bud. 
My guys are the best
I’ll take losing with them over winning with a team like Toronto any day

Eric Bennett
Don’t let the fans hear you say that
Or the commissioner

Brandon
Fuck the commissioner and the horse he rode in on

Eric Bennett
You know Kent never scored on me ever? 
Low-key one of my favorite accomplishments of my career

Brandon
Now that’s a stat to be proud of

November 2020

“...could be great fucking news,” Boodram’s voice floated to Brandon through the open door as he and a few of his teammates walked down the hall. “Have you seen some of his goals?”

“Fuck that, have you seen that video?” said Dykstra. “Took some guts. Good for him.”

“Yeah, but Roz is not happy,” said Wyatt. 

“What, upset he’s got a little competition on the front line?” asked Dykstra. 

“I’m right here,” said Boodram. He paused for a sec. “He’s not upset about the video, is he? I didn’t clock him for the type, even with his reputation…”

“No,” Hayes said quickly. “He was more like ‘Yes, good. He yells at rapist piece of shit. Does not make up for being a bullying piece of shit.’ Then he started ranting in Russian. He was on the phone, so he must have been talking to someone who spoke Russian and-.”

“I think your Ilya impression technically counts as bullying, Hazy,” said Boodram, cutting him off before he went on a tangent about Russian speakers or phones, or who knew what else. In Brandon’s observation, the only time Wyatt stayed focused was on the ice. “You sound like…”

Brandon frowned and leaned back in his chair when their voices faded as they walked further away. This wasn’t the first he’d heard of Barrett’s less-than-stellar reputation, and he knew he had a potentially delicate situation on his hands. 

Barrett wouldn’t be arriving until tomorrow, and Brandon wouldn’t really know what he was getting until then. In the meantime, he was almost relieved to have something to tackle first. 

***

The next day

Brandon looked up from his tablet screen at the knock on his doorjamb. 

“Coach,” Ilya said in greeting. Rozanov’s face was more neutral - bordering on blank - than the playfully mischievous expression that he usually wore. Brandon wondered if this sudden shift to Slavic detachment was about Troy Barrett or if there was something else going on. He’d noticed that while Ilya was upbeat around the team and Centaurs staff, he sometimes deflated when he thought nobody was watching. So far it hadn’t impacted his game but Brandon was keeping an eye on it. 

“Ilya, have a seat,” Brandon invited. Whether or not Rozanov was happy about Barrett, he needed to be sure his captain understood what Brandon expected from him. 

“Barrett is joining us for practice today. I’m going to start him out on your line with Boodram. I’d like you to help get him up to speed on the program.”

Ilya nodded stoically.

“Of course, Coach.”

 The brief response from Ilya, who usually had plenty to say about everything, was more telling than if he had ranted at Brandon. 

“Good. I know I can rely on you, Cap,” Brandon said, both because it was true and to remind Rozanov that this was his job as captain. Creating a positive culture didn’t mean that Brandon was a pushover about the work. Rozanov nodded again and Brandon sent him on his way. 

A few minutes later his phone pinged.

Eric Bennett
Troy Barrett, huh?

Brandon blew out a breath. Troy Barrett was already in the building and Brandon still hadn’t figured out what to think about him or how best to weave him into the team. He hadn’t exactly planned on “adding a (potentially reformed but possibly not) bully with a homophobic reputation who was (possibly for reformed bully reasons) tossed aside by the team that had drafted and developed him” as one of the challenges he would have to face in his first year as a coach. He’d never been more glad to be able to get Eric’s perspective on a situation.

Brandon
Troy Barrett. 
Not quite sure what to make of him
His reputation until now hasn’t exactly been shiny 

Eric Bennett
Have you seen the video?

Brandon
Yeah, what did you think of it?

Eric Bennett
He looked pretty fucking horrified at Kent
Which moves him at least a few ticks away from total prick in my book

Brandon
That was my take too. 

Eric Bennett
He’s getting a lot of shit for it
From players and fans. 

Brandon
You mean hockey is full of toxic bullshit?

Fucking Crowell sent me an email

Eric Bennett
Let me guess
Keep Barrett in line, make sure he doesn’t have any opinions that in any way reflect the fact that a hockey player could ever rape a woman.

Brandon
Nailed it in one.
I just don’t know if I’m getting the guy who stood up for women that I saw in the video or the guy who calls men pussies and bitches I’ve been hearing about 
The kid’ll be at practice today, so I guess I’ll find out soon.

Eric Bennett
And I know you’re planning on sternly telling him to keep his mouth shut about sexual assault, as instructed. 
Because you never like to make waves. 

Brandon
You know… let’s call that plan Z. 
I’m just trying to get a sense of what kind of player I’m getting.
What’s your take on him?

Eric Bennett
Honestly, I don’t know. 
And I don’t think you will until you meet him
It’s hard to say how much of his old bullshit was Dallas Kent and how much was Troy Barrett. 
Or if it even matters

Brandon 
Did you ever talk to him off the ice?

Eric Bennett
Yeah, once. 
At the all-star game last year.

Brandon waited for more for what seemed a longer time than necessary.

Brandon
And…?

Eric Bennett
Yeah, I’ve been trying to reconcile the guy who spewed vile shit on the ice with the guy in the video and the guy I spoke to last year. 

Brandon
That’s a lot of guys 
So what pops out when you put it all together?

Eric Bennett
I’m not totally sure.
He’s never seemed like a particularly happy person. 
He wanted to talk to Scott last year. Which was…interesting.
He was really unsure about whether Scotty would give him the time of day. I guess he knew what his reputation was.  
He did outright tell me he wasn’t homophobic. 

Brandon
Well, that’s something.

Eric Bennett
But, it’s tough to say.
All that really comes up for me when I put it all together is a kid who’s probably still figuring stuff out. 

Brandon
I think I can work with that 
And it’s hard to imagine a cleaner break from the likes of Kent than this, right?

Eric Bennett
Sure. 
Are you trying to figure out how to support him or how to make sure he’s not going to turn right back into an asshole and ruin the whole positive culture you’ve created there?

Brandon

Eric Bennett
You do like a challenge. 
But, not for nothing, one day he finds out his best friend is a rapist and the next Toronto drops him like a hot potato. His life is in upheaval. 
If it were me, I’d be looking for a coach who just let me focus on hockey so I didn’t have to think about everything that’s wrong in my life. 
It’s what I needed after the divorce, for myself.

Brandon
Sure. I can see that

Eric Bennett
Maybe the good vibes on the team can help smooth out his rough edges on their own

Brandon
So what I hear you saying is you think we can separate the Barrett in the video from the vile-shit-spewing Barrett with the power of friendship, teamwork, and a supportive coach?

Eric Bennett
I’m not sure that’s what I said, exactly…
But if anyone can guide him in the right direction, it’s you, Brando  

Brandon
Stop. I’m blushing.
I just hope I’m not just seeing what I want to see because, fuck, Eric, I think he could be the piece that pushes us over the top. 
I think we could be actual fucking contendors

Eric Bennett
What happened to “I’d rather lose with my guys than win with assholes”?

Brandon
Well, yeah, but the losing part isn’t plan A.
Which is why I’m really hoping Barrett isn’t an asshole. He’s a freaking all-star. 
I think Ilya’s one more missed pass away from high sticking Dillon himself. Barrett could actually keep up with Roz. 
Imagine what we could do.

Eric Bennett
I want that for you. 
I mean, at least when you’re not playing New York

Brandon
Naturally

Eric Bennett
But maybe don’t come in hot with “you’re the missing piece we need”
Kid’s got enough on his shoulders - it could be too much pressure.  

Brandon
Come on. Give me some credit, Benny
I want this to be a good place for him as much as I want him to be a good fit for us

Eric Bennett
Kyle just read that notification over my shoulder and said, “that man is too pure for this earth.”

Brandon
🙄

Eric Bennett
Man, you just reminded me Roz is on  your team
I had blocked it from my mind for a bit
Him and Barrett together…
I can see the headline now:
“Stanley Cup won through supportive coaching, and the combined power of two of the biggest  asshole forwards in the league.”

Three weeks later

Wiebe
Behold. Two of the biggest asshole forwards in the league
[Image: Troy Barrett sitting on the bench, tentatively reaching out to a puppy who had his paws on his leg. Ilya Rozanov sitting on the ground, staring at the dog with a goofy smile, holding out a squeaky toy.]

Chapter End Notes

Yeah, we almost called this one “Nemesis Chapter.” The good news is that the fact that it took so long also gave us some time to think of additional chapters we hadn’t originally planned on that we think will make the whole thing better. More Ilya coming up next!

DoubleDecker really wants Wiebe to use GIFs and memes as a major element of his communication (much like she does) but SugMak was quite frustrated with the textiness of describing them. Then we learned you can include GIFs in fics but it turns out that actual GIFs are really distracting. So we’ve used stills instead but you can just imagine they’re in motion. (Except for the GIFs that were absolutely necessary but we couldn’t find stills.)

Chapter 4: Kiss your boyfriend for me

Chapter Notes

Notes: This chapter starts in the middle of chapter 21 of The Long Game (between p224-225 in the new copy and 257 in the Naked Man Cover copy) and some time during chapter 10 (like p123ish) of Role Model.

December 2020

Eric laughed at the picture of two assholes and a dog. 

Eric
So Barrett’s a good guy, then?

Wiebe
Yeah, it seems like it. 
I think you were right that he’s still figuring some shit out. 

Eric
I can see that. 
He’s clearly playing distracted.

Wiebe
I know. I’ve been putting a bug in the ear of some of the players to reach out a hand, make him feel included. 
I think once he realizes what it means to be part of a team that has your back, he might settle in a little better. 

Eric
The power of friendship, teamwork, and a supportive coach?

Wiebe
And you thought I was joking

Eric
I really didn’t

Wiebe
😉
What I’m seeing so far is a shy guy who wants to shake off a bad reputation.

Eric
That’s good to hear. 
Scott’s husband is ready to throw a Barrett parade for the way he stood up to Kent
And since Scotty is stupid in love, he’s gotten on that train. 

Wiebe
I wish Troy knew that. 
Did you see his intro video on instagram when he talked about how much he liked Scott?
It’d probably give him a boost to know the feeling was mutual. 

Eric
It’s a long season - who knows. Maybe they’ll get a chance to talk. 
Either way, I’m glad I can join the pro-Barrett club without feeling complicated about it.  

Fucking Rozanov
Bennett! I am coming to New York! 

Eric
Yeah I know, Rozanov. I’m retired, not dead. 

Fucking Rozanov
You follow my games! I am flattered.

Eric
I follow the Admirals. And also I know how to read a fucking hockey schedule. 

Fucking Rozanov
I am happy to hear that. I hear the eyesight is the first thing to go. Did your nursing home make the print extra big?

Eric
Ok, nice talking to you, Rozanov. 

Fucking Rozanov
Aw, I will miss you on the ice next week
Is not the same without your grumpy scowl 
Andersson has no sense of humor

Eric
Sure. We had a laugh a minute back in the day. 
Did you want something or are you just texting to give me information I already have?  

Fucking Rozanov
I am a helpful guy. Maybe you are losing your memory as well as your eyesight.
I know how sad you would be to miss me 

Eric
You keep talking like this, I’m going to start thinking you miss me

Fucking Rozanov
Very good, Bennett! Did you practice that or did Kyle help you think of it?

Eric
Do you actively try to be this annoying or does it just come naturally?

Fucking Rozanov
😈😘 
You bought that bar for your child groom, yes?

Eric
Child groom? Seriously?

Fucking Rozanov
Sexy younger man?

Eric
Jesus
Yes. Scott and I bought the bar and Kyle manages it.

Fucking Rozanov
Good. I will need a drink before I face your boring goalie. 

Eric
Uhhhh

Fucking Rozanov
There is that fancy education I hear so much about.
Bring Hunter too!

Eric
When did I say I would be there? 
And why would I subject Scott to you?

Fucking Rozanov
You say this like I don’t know you love watching me poke at Hunter. 😉

Eric chose not to dignify that with a response. Mostly because, as annoying as it was (and however much he would deny it if anyone asked), Rozanov was right. Watching him tease Scott was its own form of entertainment. 

The Next Week

Eric hung around the Kingfisher with Kyle after the guys who had to play a game the next day left. It had been a good night. He was glad he got a chance to talk to Troy a little, and the night firmly put him in the camp of “Team Barrett.” Troy had been downright bashful when Scott complimented him. It was endearing, seeing the hero worship Wiebe told Eric about and watching Barrett try to fit into his own skin in real time.   

About an hour after Scott and the others had left, Eric’s phone lit up on the bar.

Fucking Rozanov
Do me a favor 
Kiss your boyfriend for me

Eric stared at his phone in confusion for a minute. 

Eric
What? No

Fucking Rozanov
Bennett. 
You have a young hot boyfriend and you do not want to kiss him?
What is even the point?

Eric rolled his eyes. 

Eric
Find your own young hot boyfriend to kiss

Fucking Rozanov
Cute. 

Eric
Girlfriend. Whatever. You know what I mean. 

Fucking Rozanov
So smooth, Bennett. “Find yourself a hot girlfriend or boyfriend, or whatever.”
How did you ever get Kyle with banter like this?

Eric
Is there a reason that you’re texting?

Fucking Rozanov
Yes. I told you. Kiss your boyfriend for me. 

Eric
I’m offended that you think I’m going to pass on kisses from other men

Fucking Rozanov
Kyle should be offended that you will not kiss him
He deserves better

Eric
Fuck you

Eric put the phone down, done with Rozanov’s antics. Five minutes later, it pinged again. Against his better judgement, he picked it up.

Fucking Rozanov
Come on Bennett
Give him a big kiss on the lips and then say “this is from Ilya Rozanov”

Eric
Absolutely not. That’s fucking weird 

Fucking Rozanov
I would do it myself but I believe in boundaries

Eric snorted at that blatant lie.

Eric
Since when???

Fucking Rozanov
Ugh. Bennett!
…

Eric
Kyle wants to know what that was for

Fucking Rozanov
Bennett! Yes! 
I knew you could not be as lame as you seemed

Eric
You are the absolute fucking worst, Rozanov
But Kyle says you’re welcome for whatever it is

Fucking Rozanov
He made Barrett feel welcome
It was important. 

Yeah, Eric had some thoughts about that.

Eric
I’m glad.
He’s a good kid - you should watch out for him

Fucking Rozanov
I’m trying 

Chapter End Notes

DoubleDecker noticed that Bennett and Barrett are basically visually identical back when she wrote her All-Star Game story in 2024. It bothers her even more now than it did then.

Chapter 5: Operation Apple Pin

Chapter Notes

We’ve made the executive decision not to name Wiebe’s wife since she doesn’t have one in canon. It does make it seem unbalanced in the way they talk about their relationships but please be advised, we imagine Wiebe to be as committed to his wife as Eric is to Kyle. We imagine that both Eric and Wiebe are using her actual name instead of saying “his wife,” “your wife,” or “my wife.”

If they seemed a little out of character in this one, we ask that you think about how you revert to your teenage self just a little bit when you’re talking to your best friend from high school. It’s more fun that way.

The Next Night

Even if Eric hadn’t promised Scott he would be at every Admirals game this season, he still would have made the effort to be at the game against the Centaurs. While he and Wiebe had managed a nice hockey friendship during their careers, in the last several months they had grown as close as they had been in high school. But, you know, without the mutual crushes. Eric liked to chuckle about how oblivious he had been back then, and Kyle still made fun of the fact that Eric had a high school boyfriend he didn’t find out about until his 40s. He and Wiebe had plans to meet up for a late dinner and that prospect was what made sitting through the game much easier than usual.

The thing was, retirement was…hard. Harder than he anticipated. He didn’t miss the grueling, nonstop demands on his body or the way the season would take over his life. Except that he kind of did. It wasn’t that he thought he made a mistake in hanging up his skates and pads. But he missed being challenged regularly and the purpose that came with working towards something. He felt pulled in two directions every time he watched a game from the VIP box. On the one hand, he still loved the game. He felt so much pride in every tough save Tommy Andersson made and cheered every tricky shot that Carter and Scott were able to sneak past an opposing goalie. On the other hand, he felt real loss (bordering on grief on particularly bad days) that he wasn’t out there with them.

At the start of the season he would come home and turn on SportsNight like a masochist. Kyle gently suggested that it wasn’t the best idea for Eric’s mental health to keep sports news on all the time. He also tried floating the idea that maybe Eric didn’t need to go to all the games. And Eric got it. Kyle was worried about him. Hell, he was worried about himself. But the idea of not going, of actually cutting himself off from this thing he loved and dedicated his life to, that hurt more than being at every game. 

That was one of the reasons why he valued his renewed friendship with Wiebe. It felt good to talk about hockey in a way that didn’t hurt as much as sitting on the sidelines watching the games did. He may have been overly excited about the dinner tonight. Last night (after Scott and the others had left the bar but before Roz’s weird text), Kyle had been teasing Eric about how much he was talking about his “date with his old boyfriend.” Eric ended up pulling a giggling Kyle into the back room to show him how little he was interested in any other man. Still, he was looking forward to finally catching up with Brandon in person. Which is why he felt disproportionately disappointed when he got the text after the game.  

Wiebe
I’m really sorry but I need to cancel dinner. 
That game was a shit show. Just when I think things are starting to click into place it goes off the rails. 
I’m hunkering down with the coaching staff to figure out where the fuck we go from here
Super bummed, I was looking forward to hanging out.

Eric
Yeah I get it. 
What the hell was up with Roz? 

The text showed up as read but Wiebe didn’t answer. Of course he was just sending Eric a courtesy text. He had real responsibilities he needed to focus on. Eric texted Kyle while he waited for his car service to pick him up. 

Eric
Wiebe canceled. 
I’m on my way home. 

Kyle
I’ll meet you there in half an hour. 

Eric
I don’t want you to cancel your night with Maria. I’ll be fine. 

Kyle
Shut up. 
I’ll see you soon. 

Eric wondered how long it was going to take him to make this adjustment into retirement and whether or not Kyle was going to lose patience with him before Eric figured out how to be in this new phase of his life. 

Brandon keyed into his hotel room a couple of hours after the game ended. It had been a marathon meeting with the coaching staff but he thought he had a good game plan for New Jersey the next night. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and found a few missed texts from Eric that had come in an hour earlier. He felt bad he had to cancel dinner and hoped Benny wasn’t too upset about it. 

Which, if the texts were anything to go by, he wasn’t.

Eric Bennett
I know you’re in your meeting but I need to tell you 
I was just talking to Kyle and…long story short, he’s absolutely certain that Barrett is queer.
Wait
Shit, maybe I shouldn’t be gossiping about your players to you

Brandon laughed out loud. He was exhausted but this he could find the energy for. 

Brandon
PLEASE!
Nobody gossips with me anymore since I’m the stupid boss. 
I’m with Kyle on this one, for the record.
But tell me more.

Eric Bennett
BRANDO. Why didn’t you tell me?

Brandon
Really?

Eric Bennett
Yeah, ok, fair.  

Brandon
What makes Kyle so sure?
I haven’t noticed that his slapshot screams “queer”

Eric Bennett
It’s sweet that you think Kyle knows what a slapshot is. 
Rozanov dragged Barrett to the Kingfisher last night
I was going to tell you at dinner. 

Brandon
Was Ilya in a mood last night? 

Eric Bennett
Not that I noticed
He seemed his usual annoying self 

Brandon
He showed up to practice this morning mad at something. His head has been all over the place lately

***

Eric was in a better mood than he’d been in when he left the arena earlier. Kyle had distracted him with ridiculous bartending stories and gossip, including the conversation he’d had with Barrett the night before. He had made Eric laugh hard enough his sides hurt. Most of the time Eric liked talking out Wiebe’s coaching issues, but tonight he wanted to keep his mind off the hockey parts of hockey.

Eric
That’s serious and I’m taking your personnel problems very seriously. 
Seriously. 
But also 
Barrett is maybe queer…

Wiebe
Yes, far more important. 
What made Kyle think so?

Eric told Brandon the whole story with the pin and the way Barrett was potentially checking out one of the guys at the bar. Eric didn’t say it to Brandon, but he didn’t really know any straight hockey guys who would blurt out that they thought men were hot and then get flustered about it the way Troy had about Kyle. Not that Eric could blame him. Kyle was hot. 

Wiebe
That pin thing is fucking adorable. 
I kid you not, Benny. Harris has like 900 pins on his person at all times. 
His panties are going to melt right off

Eric
Wait, how do you know this guy? Kyle said he was an apple farmer.
Which, like, how did Barrett even meet an apple farmer? Is he just really into apples and hanging out in apple orchards all the time?

Wiebe
😂 Yes. His hobby is apples. He subscribes to Apple Farmer Weekly and goes apple picking in December. Completely normal hockey player behavior. 

Eric
I don’t know, asshole, what am I supposed to think?!

Wiebe
Harris is our social media manager. His family owns the apple farm - I guess that’s not the kind of thing you shake off, even if you decided to work for a hockey team instead of going into the family business.

Eric
Yeah, that makes much more sense.

Wiebe
His office is on the same hallway as mine and Troy is in there on a daily basis bringing him coffee and shit. 

Eric
What, the moody broody NHL player is bringing the apple farmer/social media guy coffee? Like an intern?

Wiebe
Like a puppy.

Eric
That’s ridiculously cute

Wiebe
It’s freaking adorable and also NOBODY ELSE HAS FUCKING NOTICED THAT BARRETT HAS A HUGE ASS CRUSH
And like, who would I talk to about it anyway?

Eric
Me. You’re going to talk to me about it. 
I’m gonna need you to report back on Operation Apple Pin.

Wiebe 
Operation Apple Pin 😂 

Eric 
Kyle and I got way too excited talking about how blushy Barrett got when he mentioned this guy. 
We. Are. Invested. 

Wiebe
Thank fucking god
I’ve been bursting to talk about this with someone. 

Eric
Great. Because I’m going to need updates. 

Wiebe
If you could see how this kid blushes when Harris is nearby. I don’t know how the rest of the guys can be so oblivious to it. 

Eric
They’re all just too straight. According to Kyle, heteronormativity rots the brain.
Seriously, Brando. Regular updates.
Daily. 
Hourly, even. 
Don’t hold out on me. 

Wiebe
Is this your new retirement hobby? Queer hockey gossip?

Eric
It’s the best option I’ve come up with so far. 
I might be going a little stir crazy.

Wiebe
Hey, I’m just as invested.
This is more exciting than that time at camp Kromer and Macky were fighting over that girl and she told both of them they were losers and hooked up with Stevens.

Eric
Jesus, I forgot about that. We got way too invested in that mess too.
Have we always been like this?

Wiebe
What, nosy gossips?

Eric
When you put it like that it sounds like a bad thing

Wiebe
Well I’m not sure it’s great that I’m reverting back to my 16 year old self

Eric
There was nothing wrong with 16 year old you, Brando. 

Wiebe
😊

Eric
Except when you spilled your soup on me just before I had to go on the ice for our big match against… whoever the fuck they were

Wiebe
Omg how many times do I need to apologize?!

Eric
I faced my first under 17s opponent smelling like garlic and leeks
So maybe a few more times

Wiebe
🫣
I had just realized I might have a crush on my best friend. 
At hockey camp
I was STRUGGLING.

Eric
You have to know I’m reading this out to Kyle
And you really have to know that he’s laughing so hard I’m a little worried about him

Wiebe
Would you believe I spilled wine all over my wife on our first date?

Eric
Yes. Yes, I would.

Wiebe
No sympathy for a struggling queer youth

Eric
How old were you when you met your wife again?

Wiebe
No comment.

Eric
Uh huh.
Impressive to me that you can be so agile on the ice and so clumsy when you get a little crush

Wiebe
What I find impressive is that Troy can bring Harris coffee daily and hasn’t scalded him yet. 

Eric
Yeah, I’m glad you didn't consider hot beverages as a courting strategy. I imagine your wife is too

Wiebe
If you keep bullying me like this, maybe I won’t be updating you on Operation Apple Pin

Eric
Kyle just threatened to leave me if I don’t apologize and we get cut off from our source for the best queer hockey gossip since 2017.
If you don’t judge me for being a gossipy teenager I won’t bully you for being a klutz.

Wiebe
😂🫡
And you won’t bring up the soup thing ever again? 

Eric
We’ll see.

Wiebe
🥺

Eric
Your puppy dog eyes are less effective over text

Wiebe
Worth a shot

Eric
You know, I’m thinking if Barrett really is queer
Everything about him up until a month ago is starting to make a lot more sense.
In an unfortunate and kind of fucked up way

Wiebe
Yeah. I’ve been thinking the same thing

Back in Ottawa, Brandon lingered for a moment as he wandered by Harris’s Christmas photoshoot with Ilya. Or, rather, it was supposed to be with Ilya. Someone (and Brandon very strongly suspected it was Roz) had wrangled an embarrassed-looking Troy Barrett into the shoot. Brandon smothered a smile just as Harris turned and caught his eye. Brandon shot him a casual, two fingered salute and sauntered back to his office. Where he was going to do serious coachy things and not text Eric about what he just witnessed.

Who was he kidding? He was totally texting Benny.

Brandon
Troy was just gigling and fucking blushing with Harris 

Eric Bennett
Giggling? I didn’t know the guy even knew how to smile. 
You gotta give me context

Brandon
Harris was supposed to be doing a holiday photoshoot with Ilya, but Roz must have pulled Troy into it somehow
He was wearing a freaking elf hat and a sweater with Christmas lights on it!

Eric Bennett
He got Barrett in an ELF HAT? Are you kidding me?? How the fuck did he do that?

Brandon
Charming asshole, right?

Eric Bennett
Yeah yeah
More importantly - was Harris wearing the pin?

Brandon
I couldn’t tell

Eric Bennett
Brando!

Brandon
This is ridiculous. We should not be this invested

Eric Bennett
Speak for yourself. I’ve got literally nothing better to do with my time. 

Brandon rolled his eyes and put his phone away. Okay. Enough. He was going to get on with his serious adult job now. He wasn’t walking back by the room with the photo shoot to see what was going on, he just happened to be passing by on his way to the rink. 

But as he approached, he saw Ilya leaving the room. When they made eye contact, Roz jerked his thumb behind him. “They are just finishing up, I think. No need to interrupt or it will take longer. I had a question about the power play…”

Brandon grinned. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who noticed that Troy had a huge ass crush. He let Ilya, the not-so-secret softie and evident matchmaker, guide him away from the room with where he’d left Troy and Harris. This team was the fucking best. 

The next day…

Wiebe
[Image: zoomed in blurry jean jacket lapel with an apple pin that has a rainbow heart in the center]
He’s wearing the pin!!

Chapter End Notes

SugMak: So I made Wiebe clumsy
DoubleDecker: ok but his literal job is putting blades on his feet and being agile on ice
SugMak: BUT HE HAS A CRUSH!

DoubleDecker here. This was meant to be a light and funny fic but it also turned into something of a character study of these guys. While on page in Role Model, Eric is happily enjoying retirement, when I went back to Common Goal to get Eric’s voice right, the anxiety Eric had about retirement seemed glaring to me. I had already added in the angst about it, but the more I thought about it, the more important it seemed to explore this. A lot of what goes on in Eric’s head is his loneliness before he and Kyle are together. But there is also a lot of, “What will I do with my time and my life once my career is over?” While having Kyle would help with the loneliness, I just don’t believe that having a hot young boyfriend would make letting go of an 18 year career and the thing that has been the focus of his life for probably over 30 years magically easy for him. And it turns out, I’m not better at not writing angst into fic than SugMak is at cracking an inappropriate joke in the middle of a heavy angsty scene. So we’re weaving this theme through the next couple of chapters at least. Sorry, not sorry.

Chapter 6: Drunk and Bisexual

Chapter Notes

Oh, did you expect us to write this fic without a Wyatt cameo? It’s like you don’t know us at all.

We might be pushing the boundaries of canon-compliance with this chapter but we think it’s within the realm of possibilities. And totally worth it.

January 2021

Before the game tonight, Eric had sat Tommy Andersson down to tell him - we don’t let Dallas Kent score on us. Tommy had heard the speech before - twice earlier this year and once when Eric was injured two years ago for an Admirals/Guardians game. But this was the first time Tommy actually got the fucking memo. Not only hadn’t he let Kent score, he shut the whole Toronto team down hard. For the first time all season, Eric wanted to watch the highlight reels on SportsNight. He was so proud of his protégé. He watched a couple of the game recaps, and had zoned out when they switched over to some basketball highlights, until the special alert graphic went across the screen. He looked up, frowning in confusion. It was late enough that all the games for the night were over. The trade deadlines were still a couple of weeks away. Nothing should have been breaking news. 

“The Ottawa Centaurs plane had to make an emergency landing tonight. In the short flight from Raleigh-Durham to Tampa, the hockey team’s plane engine caught fire and before they were able to land safely at the Tampa airport.

Eric sat up ramrod straight as the report cut to a video from a shaky cellphone camera of a plane with one of its engines on fire. His mouth dropped open.

The screen shifted back to the reporter. “Team officials report that everyone is safe and there were only minor injuries.” 

That should have made him breathe a sigh of relief, but his heart was still pounding. Eric muted the television and grabbed his phone to text Wiebe. 

Eric
Are you ok? I just saw the news. 

The message didn’t even show up as received. Brandon must have had his phone off and Eric couldn't blame him. He had probably been inundated with similar texts. He pulled up another contact.

Eric
Hey Wyatt. I just saw the news. I hope you’re doing ok

Wyatt Hayes

Scary, shaken up, but we’re all safe. 
Thanks for checking in!

Eric
I’m glad you’re safe. 

He hesitated before pulling up one more contact. He wouldn’t exactly say he and Rozanov were friends but they weren’t not friends. It seemed like he should reach out. 

Eric
Hey, I saw the news. 
I hope you’re holding up ok. 

Rozanov didn’t respond, although Eric saw the message went through. It was a couple of hours later that his phone pinged. Eric looked at the clock - it was after one am. Kyle would be getting home soon. 

Fucking Rozanov
Bennett. Hi. Yes. I am okay
Also I am bisexual

Eric blinked at his phone in surprise for a minute before letting out an incredulous (and probably more high pitched than he'd have liked to admit) laugh

Eric
Hi, Rozanov. So good to hear from you. How's the team? I’m glad you're all safe. But, um, hey, quick question. 
What the fuck?

Fucking Rozanov
Yes, exactly thank you for doing all the boring parts of the conversation

Eric 
Are you drunk?

Fucking Rozanov
Yes. Very. 
Very drunk and very bisexual
Please don't tell anyone
That I’m bisexual. 
You can tell someone I’m drunk. 
They will understand - it was a hard night

Eric
Yeah
Right
Okay

He started and stopped typing several times, trying to figure out something to say. Nothing came to him but he knew he needed to say something. 

Eric
Right.

Fucking Rozanov
I have broken your brain
You would think this would not be such a crazy concept to you
Is the same as you, no?

Eric
Shut up
That’s…

Eric took a deep breath. He was shocked, obviously. But, despite Rozanov being… Rozanov about this, Eric knew what a big deal it was. He needed to not be an asshole right now.

Eric
Thank you for telling me.
I’m sorry you’ve been carrying 
I can’t imagine 
I know it’s not easy to say those words out loud
Or type them, I guess
But I gotta ask… 
Why did you tell me?

Fucking Rozanov
Almost died. 
Put things in… what is word?

Eric
Perspective?

Fucking Rozanov
Yes. Sure. 
Wanted you to know we had this in common

Jesus. Eric rubbed his chest to try to dislodge the knot that had formed there.

Eric
Fuck
Yeah, I get it.
Thanks for trusting me, Ilya. 
Of course I won't tell anyone

He almost jumped out of his skin as Kyle snaked his arms around his torso, quickly hiding the phone out of some ingrained panic. "Kyle!"

Kyle looked at him with a playful smirk. "Sorry to scare you. Didn't mean to interrupt you while you were texting your secret lover."

Eric snorted. "It's just Rozanov. He wanted to tell me he was okay and uh..." he trailed off, because he imagined "don't tell anyone" very much included the bartender at a bar Rozanov frequented when he was in town, who was also best friends with Scott Hunter's husband. Way too much overlap.

He didn’t know what his face was doing, but some of his panic must have shown, because Kyle blinked at him curiously. "And, what? He finally tell you he's bi or something?"

The next morning Eric woke up with his head still spinning. Maybe his brain was a little bit broken. But holy shit. Rozanov was bi. Rozanov was bi and had trusted Eric with this information. And Rozanov didn’t want anyone to know, but Kyle had guessed. And, on top of it all, Roz had been very drunk. He might regret telling Eric anything as it was. It was all a little too much for him. 

Kyle had unfortunately been totally unsympathetic to his distress.  

“He completely flirted with me in front of your face last year! AND last month. What did you think was happening?” 

“That’s just how he is!”

That had gotten him the most pitying look he’d ever received in his life. 

“Eric, I love you, but heteronormativity has rotted your brain.” 

“Oh, come on!”

“That, or you’ve taken one too many pucks to the head. Either way, I blame the NHL.”

All things considered, Eric thought it was a good idea to check in with Rozanov after a morning yoga practice that could, at best, be described as a joke. 

Eric
Hey, so, I don’t know if you remember that you texted me last night. 

Fucking Rozanov
Why would I not remember?

Eric
Well, you seemed pretty drunk. 

Fucking Rozanov
Yes. But I am still Russian, no? 

Eric
Sure. 
But also, you maybe told me something you wouldn’t have otherwise 

Fucking Rozanov
Maybe not. 
But I am glad you know. 
Keeping this secret 
It is…
Hard. 

Eric’s heart twisted in sympathy. For Ilya Rozanov, of all people. But it was hard to miss the aching feeling behind those words. Scott coming out made a huge difference but hockey hadn’t changed as much as Eric would have liked. 

Eric
Yeah, well. About that. I promise I won’t tell anyone and I also very much did not but, um…
Kyle guessed. He knows. 

Fucking Rozanov
He guessed?!

Eric
Yes
I don’t know how 

Fucking Rozanov
Because you’re dating a very smart man!
Kyle is my favorite New York gay!

Eric blinked at his phone for a moment in surprise. That wasn’t what he expected.

Eric
You’re not mad?

Fucking Rozanov
No. 
This is great!
Everyone is always assuming wrong things about me.
“Ilya Rozanov is straight as an arrow” and “Roz is not queer, he’s just European - look at all the women he sleeps with” or “Look at Roz grinding up on that man. So secure in his straightness.”
Is insulting, really

Eric
Oh. 
Well… good. 
Obviously he won’t tell anyone. 

Fucking Rozanov
Of course he won’t. I trust him.
I do not think you are allowed to work at a gay bar and go around telling people who is gay
Not that I am gay. But I don’t think you can tell people who is bisexual either.
Is probably illegal or something

Eric
It’s definitely not illegal. But it is frowned upon
I’m just glad you’re comfortable with him knowing

Comfortable seemed to be an understatement. In a way, it made sense. Eric remembered that feeling of finally being seen for his whole self. It seemed like Rozanov had reached out to him last night because he wanted the same thing - to be seen. 

Eric
You know you could come out, right?
We’d support you if you did.
I mean, no pressure or anything, but if keeping the secret feels too hard 

Fucking Rozanov
I cannot

Rozanov responded pretty immediately, so Eric guessed he was sure about that, but he  wondered why. Then again, Rozanov was Russian.

Eric
Is it the Russia thing?

Fucking Rozanov
[typing]
Yes… 
Of course
The Russia thing. 

That reasoning made sense to Eric. As if the homophobia of the NHL wasn’t bad enough. Imagine your own government considering you a criminal, an extremist even, just for being yourself.

Fucking Rozanov
Obviously
That is why I cannot come out.
Because of the Russia thing. 

Eric frowned at his phone. Something about that response seemed…weird. Then again, Rozanov was a weird guy.

A couple of weeks later, Eric found himself in the VIP box with Kip and some of the WAGs, watching Shane Hollander battle Scott on the ice. He flinched as Hollander broke away from Scott and sent the puck soaring into the back of the net in a move that looked… familiar. He vaguely remembered Shane pulling a similar move earlier this season, but Eric didn’t recall a blue jersey when he played that fake-out back in his mind. It was…yellow? red? Eric tried to remember who pulled that trick on him and groaned when it hit him. Fucking Rozanov. Of course. That shot was so infamous it was named for him. Maybe their rivalry wasn’t exactly dead letter if Hollander was stealing Roz’s moves. 

Eric’s brain suddenly screeched to a halt so fast he could almost hear the sound effect. Then it picked up again with several thoughts piling one on top of another.

Hollander and Rozanov’s carefully planned statement about becoming friends. 

Their joint charity venture. 

Rozonav, the notorious party boy, inexplicably but voluntarily moving to a perennially losing team in the most boring city in North America. 

And golden boy Shane Hollander shooting a surprisingly cocky wink at the camera after mastering what goalies across the league grumbled about over drinks: the Ilya Rozanov. 

No fucking way

He looked around to see if anyone else was having a mind-blowing revelation. Which, of course, nobody was. On one side of him Kip was sitting at the edge of his seat muttering at the game. On the other side of him Breezy and Tommy’s wives were gossiping about one of the other WAGs. Eric reached for his phone with an urgency that got him a weird look from Kip. He reread the end of the text conversation he had with Rozanov two weeks ago and let out a semi-hysterical laugh.

The Russia thing my ass.

Chapter End Notes

This chapter is our thank you for your patience in waiting for chapter three. If that one hadn’t been such a nightmare to get right, DoubleDecker never would have been lying in bed one night thinking, what would be something much more fun and bisexual to write into this fic than this bullshit we just can’t figure out, pop out of bed, text SugMak, “What if Ilya came out to Eric after the plane.” Then SugMak never would have responded with the core of that conversation in an absolutely perfect interpretation of what DoubleDecker had in mind in approximately five minutes.
When many of you expressed a desire to see Ilya in some way dropping hints to Eric, we already had the first draft of this written. You’re welcome.
(We hope you like it, SM)
(We trust you do, DD)

Chapter 7: Real Talk

Chapter Notes

Obviously our posting schedule is very surfer dude whatever man. The reasons this chapter took so long were 95% life, jobs, and the fact that it was barely drafted when we posted the last one and 5% conversations like:
DoubleDecker: Let me explain to you this point from canon I’m trying to get across
SugMak: Let me explain to you what a test meatball is
DoubleDecker: …uh, okay. But this point from canon I’m trying to build on-
SugMak: I see your point and raise you a TEST MEATBALL

January 2021
(A Week After the Plane/A Week before Eric Figures it out)

About a week after Rozanov rearranged his brain by coming out to him and swearing him to secrecy, Eric found himself at the Kingfisher, watching Rozanov score a goal on the big screen Kyle had insisted they put above the bar. Roz looked good. Probably a little too good from poor Andersson’s perspective. Also from the perspective of the fans at the bar, if their groans were anything to go by.

Watching the game at the Kingfisher wouldn’t have been his first choice, but he’d promised Kyle. Around New Year’s, Kyle started to notice that Eric’s mood was always worse on nights when he watched Admirals games alone. It wasn’t like his mood was ever great after a game but when he was at the arena or the bar, or when Kyle was home to watch the away games with him, his mood didn’t dip quite as low. 

Kyle came home from work one night when Eric had stayed home and watched an away game by himself and immediately clocked the difference in Eric’s mood. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders in a way that told Eric he’d been working up to saying something for a while. Eric must have looked pathetic enough that he decided that was the night. 

He sat down and took Eric’s hand in his, rubbing his thumb back and forth over Eric’s palm as he talked. “I know I can’t ask you to stop watching the games but will you consider not watching them alone anymore? Come to the bar if I have to work during away games?”

Of course Eric agreed. It wasn’t like he wanted to feel like shit. 

So here he was, sipping a new mocktail Kyle had created for him, watching an unusually cohesive Ottawa team give the Admirals a run for their money. He’d never admit this, but a not-so-small part of him wanted Wiebe’s team to do well tonight. It’s not that he wanted the Admirals to lose, but he didn’t hate watching the Centaurs put up a good fight. Obviously he wasn’t going to say that out loud here, surrounded by queer hockey fans cheering on their favorite icon. If they only knew - if they wanted to root for the queerest team on the ice, they were backing the wrong horse. It wasn’t just that he wanted to see Wiebe’s hard work pay off. He also felt an affinity and warmth toward Barrett - and even Rozanov - that he never would have imagined feeling for either man at the start of the season. So if he privately cheered for their goals too… well, Scott and Carter never had to know. 

At the same time, he had his usual yearning to be in goal, pitting himself against an Ottawa team that had obviously come to play tonight. For a game this tight and charged, that urge was always amplified. 

When the final buzzer sounded, Eric pulled out his phone. He hadn’t texted Wiebe since the plane incident, and Brandon had never returned his text from that night. Eric had considered following up later, when things were probably less intense, but now the only thing he wanted to talk about with Wiebe was also the thing he absolutely couldn’t talk about. Gossiping about Barrett was one thing but Eric would never betray Rozanov’s confidence to his coach. Every time he picked up his phone to text Brandon, he saw Rozanov’s messages from that night in his head. I am bisexual. Please don’t tell anyone. Jesus, what a mindfuck. The game gave him the perfect opening for a relatively safe topic.

Eric
I want to be mad about that game but your team looked really fucking good. 

Wiebe
😀 
I know, right?!

*** 

Brandon had been about to send some smartass chirp about the game when Eric’s text came through. Shit. The last message Benny sent before this was from the night of the plane thing. Brandon had turned off his phone once he checked in with his wife and never noticed the missed text when he turned it back on. 

Brandon
Sorry I didn’t get back to you after the plane. 
I had like a million messages and a shit storm of media 
Not to mention a team full of really freaked out guys

Eric Bennett
Of course. Don’t even worry about it. I totally get it.
I also texted Wyatt and he told me you guys were all ok
I figured you were overwhelmed with it all

Brandon
Yeah, and, to be honest, I really wasn’t up for telling anyone I was fine.
I mean I was, physically, but it was scary as fuck. I had to hold it together for the team but I pretty much fell apart once I got behind closed doors that night. 
My wife is still freaked out so I’m trying to spend less time at the arena and more time at home while I can. I want to head home soon so I can’t talk that long.
BUT
Can I please gossip?

Eric Bennett
Always. 

Brandon
Ilya missed a mandatory practice when we got home. I had to fine him. 
I felt like a dick - we were all pretty shaken up

Eric Bennett
[typing]
He missed practice? 

Brandon
Yeah, but that’s not the gossip.
He came in the next day with some love bites, like EVERYWHERE. 🤭
I mean, I’m a very stern coach and I don’t approve. 
Head in the game, Captain. No love bites for you. 😠

Eric Bennett
I really don’t want to think about why you know they were everywhere

Brandon
Fun Fact: Ilya Rozanov is not shy 
It’s like that man is allergic to a shirt.
Especially yesterday. I almost think he wanted to show those hickeys off.

Eric Bennett
[typing]

Brandon waited, watching the bouncing dots for a bit. He decided to pack up while Eric typed out whatever novel he seemed to be composing. Finally a text came through.

Eric Bennett
I was kind of hoping for something juicier, Brando

Brandon raised an eyebrow in confusion. Seriously? Five minutes of typing for that? 

Eric Bennett
Roz finding someone to give him hickeys isn't exactly breaking news 
Feels like just another Tuesday.

Huh. Brandon obviously knew about Ilya’s reputation as a ladies man - he’d been all over social media, tabloids, and gossip blogs during his time in Boston. But the man he coached on a daily basis was so different, Bradon had forgotten about that reputation until now. Ilya never missed curfew because he was out partying on the road, his social media was all official Centaurs content and…pretty boring pictures of nothing. The evidence that he blew off some steam when they got back from that nightmare of a trip had felt like juicy gossip.

Brandon
You’re right it’s not as exciting as a Troy update. 
But I don’t know what’s happening there. I haven’t noticed that Barrett hanging around Harris’s office at all since we got back 
But like I said, I’m spending a little more time at home than usual. 

Eric Bennett
Too bad. I’d hoped a scary experience like that would have maybe pushed Barrett to make a move

Brandon
Well, maybe that move is what he’s been doing with his social media. Did you see?

Eric Bennett
Yeah. Pretty impressive. 
Bet Crowell is thrilled

Brandon
Don’t bring him up! He hasn’t said anything yet and I’m dreading the moment I get the call

Eric Bennett
He’s not Beetlejuice, Brando. He’s not going to pop up when you say his name 

Brandon
You don’t know that!

Eric Bennett
You’re an idiot. 
Anyway, I’m glad Barrett’s using his voice for something positive. It’s nice to see him leaning in to his rebranding as a good guy.
Even if it’s not exciting enough to fill up the empty hours of retirement. 

Brandon sucked in a breath. There it was again.

Brandon
Benny

He started and stopped a few messages, wanting to get this right. But Eric cut him off before he could find the words. 

Eric Bennett
Anyway, you should go home to your family. Good win tonight. 

Brandon recognized the brush-off for what it was. He’d leave it for now but Eric was mistaken if he thought they wouldn’t be talking about that comment soon. It wasn’t the first hint Benny had dropped that he was struggling with retirement. Brandon just needed the right strategy. Plus, he really did want to get home - when this conversation happened, he wanted to give it the focus it deserved. 

All-Star Break 2021 
(A week after Eric Figures it out)

Brandon
👀
Just saw Harris getting into Troy’s car with an overnight bag as I was leaving the arena. 

Eric Bennett
!!!
Wait, why were you at the arena? It’s the all-star break and your team is on fire. Take a rest, Brando. 

Brandon
I was just wrapping some things up. I’m done now and as soon as the kids get home from school I’ll be in full-on dad mode for a few days. 
What about you?

Eric Bennett
No gossip to report here 
Or children to parent, for that matter. 

Brandon
🙄
That wasn’t what I meant. How’s life?

Eric Bennett
You know, same old.

Brandon
I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. 

Brandon had been going over the conversation he wanted to have with Eric in his head. He had workshopped a few ideas with his wife, who had been rock solid when Brandon retired and spiraled out. He wasn’t going to let Eric brush him off this time.

Brandon
All we talk about lately is hockey. 
How are things with Kyle?

Eric Bennett
They’re great. He’s great. He’s having a blast with the bar

Brandon
And you?

Eric Bennett
I like the bar too, but it’s really Kyle’s baby.

Brandon
No, I mean 
How's retirement going?

Eric Bennett
[typing]
I can’t complain

Brandon
Eric

Eric Bennett
Brandon

Brandon
Come on. Talk to me.

Eric Bennett
I am very literally talking to you right now.

Brandon
No you’re not. Not really.

Eric Bennett
Okay. fine. I’m very literally typing at you right now.

Brandon
Eric Bennett, do not make me turn this car around. 

Eric Bennett
Why are you dad voicing me?

Brandon
Because you’re being super cagey.
Which, for the record, is only making me worry more.

Eric Bennett
What am I being cagey about?
I’m retired. I’ve got nothing to stress about. You’re the one back in the thick of it.

Brandon
Yeah. Ok. So…
Maybe you forgot but you’re not the only guy here who’s had to hang up his skates.
If you’re telling me it’s been perfectly smooth sailing, I’m gonna find that hard to believe .  

Eric Bennett
Shit, Brando, I’m sorry
Yeah. Okay
It’s been… 
An adjustment

Brandon
I get it. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, I guess you do. 
I didn’t forget you’ve been there. I guess it just never occurred to me that you might have had a hard time adjusting too. 

Brandon
Well I did. So I know that feeling like

Brandon thought for a moment about how to phrase it. 

Brandon
This thing that has been the center of your life for DECADES is suddenly…not

Eric Bennett
Yeah. That’s…yeah
How did you handle it?

Brandon
Not super well, my friend. 
They don’t really have a support group for this sort of thing.
I think it’s tougher than any of us are prepared for

Eric Bennett
It feels wrong to complain about having all the time in the world to do whatever I want.
Poor me, you know?
But, yeah, you’re right, it hasn’t exactly been smooth sailing. 

Brandon
I remember. The first year of retirement was…not great. 

Eric Bennett
It really isn’t all bad. I’m not saying it’s good but most days are fine. 
Things with Kyle are really great. 
But other days…

Brandon
Yeah. 
I didn’t know what to do with myself - even while I was chasing a toddler around and getting up for midnight feedings.
But I still felt so 
Rudderless, I guess, when my days weren’t structured around my practice schedule

Eric Bennett
It’s less about losing that structure for me. I’ve always been able to give myself the structure I need. 
But, fuck are game days hard. 
Watching the games depresses me because I’m not playing. And the idea of not watching depresses me because… I don’t even know why

Brandon
Because you love the game. 
We all do. We wouldn’t have given so much of our lives to it if we didn’t

Eric Bennett
Yeah

Brandon was relieved Eric was talking to him about this, even if it had been like pulling teeth to get there. It actually sounded like Eric was being a bit more honest with himself than Brandon had been that first year. He remembered insisting that he was fine even as he slowly lost his mind. 

Eric Bennett
You know, this is the first All-Star weekend I’m spending at home in a pretty fucking long time 
I mean I know no one really cares about the All-Star game 

Brandon
No, I get it. It’s not about the game. 

Eric Bennett
No, it’s not about the game. 
It’s just another reminder that I’m not part of it anymore.

Brandon
Fuck, have I made it worse?
I’ve been coming to you all season with hockey problems

Eric Bennett
No. 
Actually, I’m glad you’ve been asking for my input. I’ve really enjoyed talking that stuff out with you

Brandon
You’ll tell me if that changes, right?

Eric Bennett
Sure. But helping you out, it makes me feel like I’m not so useless. 

Brandon winced at that. Part of him wanted to shake Benny for thinking that all there was to him was hockey but that would have been rich coming from a man whose wife literally did shake him for thinking the same thing. It had still taken a while to get it through his head.

Brandon
You’re not fucking useless, come on. 
There’s so much more you have to offer beyond hockey. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, I know. 

Brandon
Do you?

Eric Bennett
Yes
I’m not just saying that. I know I’m lucky. The whole point of going to college was to have options after I finished playing. 

Brandon
Being dubbed “college boy” your whole rookie season finally pays off

Eric Bennett
Well it also helped me identify the idiots right off the bat

Brandon
I’m pretty sure you’ve always had a strong idiot-dar
Makes up for your lack of gay-dar 

Eric Bennett
Not you too. I get enough of that from Kyle. 

Brandon
😇
But seriously. I’m glad you realize you have options.

Eric Bennett
Yeah. I know there are are a lot of guys for whom that isn’t true

Brandon
😂 
Case in fucking point, how many hockey players can use “whom” properly without sounding like total doofuses? 
Exactly one.

Eric Bennett
Yeah, yeah. 
Anyway, Kyle’s been saying the same thing. 

Brandon
You guys have been talking about it?
That’s great!

Eric Bennett
Yeah. He’s been amazing. More than I deserve really. 

Brandon

Of course you deserve it.
I’m relieved you’re talking to him about this. Hand to god I wouldn’t have made it through without my wife
She had to sit me down the January after I retired and tell me I had wallowed enough and it was time to figure out what came next. 
She was all like…

Eric Bennett
[laughed at an image]
I love your wife. 
What did you do? I just realized I don’t really know what you were doing between retirement and this year. 

Brandon
I was coaching pee-wees

Eric Bennett
For real?

Brandon
For real. I just needed my hand in it. I’m not saying that’s what you should do though. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, I don’t know if coaching is for me. At least not as my actual job. 

Brandon
What does Kyle think?

Eric Bennett
I don’t know. I haven’t really started to think about what the next move for me is. We’ve mostly been talking about how I’m doing now. 
He doesn’t understand why I don’t just stop going to the games

Brandon
How often are you going?

Eric Bennett
I’ve been at all the home games. 

Brandon
Shit, I might be with Kyle on this one, Benny. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, but when I retired I kind of promised Scott I would. I didn’t realize how hard that would be - to sit in the stands watching the games. 
I really fucking should have - I never even liked sitting on the bench watching on days when the backup goalie started. Why would I like it when I know I won’t be back on the ice tomorrow?

Brandon
Why don’t you talk to Scott?
He’s not going to want you to keep doing something that’s hurting you. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, Kyle’s been saying the same thing. 

Brandon
Kyle’s a smart guy

Eric Bennett
I know. But I don’t want to completely cut myself off from the game. I don’t really know how to do it half-way 
It’s one of the reasons why I like helping you out. 

Brandon
I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that.
You have no idea how helpful you’ve been to me this year. Not just talking out hockey but
Some of the shit I dealt with while I played
I never told you that
There was this guy

Brandon decided this wasn’t actually the moment to talk about any of that. Maybe he’d tell Eric someday. In the off-season. Over many, many drinks. Like a whole case of Drover Cider.

Brandon
Having a queer friend in hockey to talk to about all the shit in the league has made everything this year so much easier for me. 
Honestly, it’s made all the difference in the world.

Eric Bennett
[Typing]

Brandon waited, amused, as Eric’s dots appeared and disappeared.

Brandon
Don’t work too hard to process that compliment. I can see your brain overheating from here

Eric Bennett
Fuck you. 
It’s meant a lot to me too. 

Brandon
Awwww

Eric Bennett
Asshole. 

Brandon
Ah, there’s the love I was looking to share. 

Eric Bennett
But seriously, I kind of wish we had known back when we were playing. 

Brandon
Me fucking too. 
Anyway, I hope you find a way to stay connected with the game  somehow, even if it’s not professionally. You obviously have more to offer than hockey, but I think you also still have a lot to offer to hockey. 

Eric Bennett
I don’t know that I could ever give it up entirely so it’s not like that’s a big ask. 

***

Eric took a deep breath. In the last half hour he had felt the weight that had been growing heavier on his chest for months lighten, just a little. The future was still a big, terrifying question mark, but it was a relief to know that Brandon got it. Even if Wiebe was on the other side of it now. Actually... especially because he got through to the other side. Having a friend to talk to who had been there gave Eric the courage to voice the doubt he had barely been able to admit to himself.

Eric
I’ll figure the rest out, right?

Wiebe
Of course you will.
This isn’t something that goes away overnight but it will get easier.  

Eric felt his shoulder ease. It didn’t feel like a platitude coming from Brandon. 

Wiebe
And I’m always here to talk 
About the hard stuff if you want or just gossip if that’s what you need

Eric
I appreciate it. It’ll be good to have someone other than Kyle to talk to about it. 
Your team is really lucky to have you, you know.

It was Eric’s turn to watch the dots on the screen appear and disappear. 

Eric
Don’t let your brain overheat trying to process that compliment…

Brandon
🖕

Eric
But - speaking of gossip…
Barrett and Harris?

Wiebe
YES! Romance is in the air!

A week later

Eric tapped his phone anxiously against his leg. He’d spoken to Rozanov about coaching at his and Hollader’s camps briefly last year, and talking to Wiebe last week brought the possibility back to the front of his mind. This would be good for him. He reluctantly pulled up his last text with Rozanov. He didn’t know if he wanted to deal with the asshole but he hadn’t spoken to Hollander since he retired so it made more sense. Looking at the last texts in the chain gave him pause.

That is why I cannot come out.
Because of the Russia thing. 

Shit.

He pulled up his last conversation with Shane, some polite message congratulating him on his retirement. He hesitated. How did he want to go about this? He didn’t know if it would be weird to only text one of them or if texting both of them would make it seem like he thought they were together together. Maybe texting only one of them would make it seem like he was trying to not draw attention to the fact that they might be dating or whatever. Maybe if he texted Hollander. No it should be Rozanov. Or Hollander. 

In the end he decided he was overthinking it. They both ran the camps. Obviously he should just text them both.  

Eric 
Hey guys. I was wondering if you have space for another goalie coach at your camps this summer. 

Fucking Rozanov
Do you remember how to be a goalie? It has been so long

Eric was weirdly relieved that Rozanov was the same dick he’d always been despite the abnormally earnest conversation they’d had a few weeks ago. 

Shane Hollander
Shut up, Ilya. 
We’d love to have you, Eric. 

Fucking Rozanov
Only if you bring my favorite New York gay with you. 😘

Shane Hollander
For the last fucking time, Rozanov. You can’t use gay as a noun. 

Fucking Rozanov
You say that, but where were you when Kyle shouted “CLOSING TIME FOR ALL MY GAYS AND THEYS”

Shane Hollander
Montreal, probably

Fucking Rozanov
Yes, Probably. So you know nothing

Shane Hollander
I know you’re a dickhead

Fucking Rozanov
[typing]

Shane Hollander 
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT SENDING THAT TEXT

Eric
So… that’s a yes on the camp?

Fucking Rozanov
You are still here? 

Shane Hollander
Yes, Eric. Thank you for offering.

Fucking Rozanov
And thank you for bringing your boyfriend who is much more interesting than you 

Shane Hollander
For fucks sake, Rozanov.

Fucking Rozanov
What? Is only fair that I have someone fun to talk to while you and Bennett talk about yoga and grains like boring old men.

Shane Hollander
That doesn’t even make sense

Fucking Rozanov
Don’t be jealous, Hollander. Ты по-прежнему мой любимый гей. 

Eric contemplated popping that Cyrillic into Google translate, but had just enough sense of self-preservation for his sanity not to. He already regretted all his life choices that had him bearing witness to what he strongly suspected was some fucked up foreplay. 

***

Ilya knew he was pushing the boundaries, but he was almost giddy to flirt with Shane openly. In front of another queer man. Still, it wasn’t exactly a surprise when he got  the text from Shane. 

Shane
What the fuck, Ilya?

He wasn’t surprised. But his heart still sank a little. 

Ilya
He already knows I am bisexual. 

Shane
That doesn’t mean you need to give him proof we’re together. 

Ilya
Was not proof. 
Besides
He is safe. He has kept my secret so far. 

Maybe he was pushing for too much too fast again. Was this going to be the thing that spooked Shane?

Ilya
We were going to be less careful, yes?

He chewed on his nail while he waited for Shane to respond. Ilya kept wondering if Shane was going to retreat on their plan to come out this summer. Get married. He held his breath until the next text came through.  

Shane
You’re right. I’m sorry. 
I’m being an asshole. 

Ilya
No. 
You are nervous. I understand.  
I should not have done it without talking to you. I’m sorry.

Shane
No, you didn’t do anything wrong. 
I’m working on being less scared. 

Ilya
Is not so easy to tell yourself not to be afraid

Shane
No. But I want to be brave for you. For us.
I love you ♥️

Ilya
I love you too моя маленькая ящерица😘♥️ 

Shane
Wait. I know this one. 
AACCHH 
Oh yeah! Lizard?

Ilya
🦎

Chapter End Notes

Wiebe coaching pee-wees inspired by Ari Baran’s Home Ice Advantage.

DoubleDecker keeps accidentally giving Eric clinical depression and SugMak keeps reminding her that DoubleDecker was the one who wanted this to be a light and fun fic. So we’ve pulled it back. Please know a version of Eric who deals with retirement with insomnia, no sex drive, and no will to live lives rent-free in DoubleDecker’s mind.
SugMak, repeatedly: You’ve thrown him into the pit of despair again

Chapter 8: Very Important Information

Chapter Notes

We hope you weren’t lying when you said you liked seeing Role Model outsider POV and a shit ton of gossip because that’s what you’re about to get!

Our private title of this chapter is “The Great ‘But’ Stand-off.” You would not believe the novels that we wrote to each other defending why one “but” shouldn’t or should be included.
DD: Here’s my point…
SM: I heard your point, I care about your point, I just think you're completely wrong.

One of the great things about our friendship is that neither one of us are ever stubborn about anything…BUT

TW: Discussion of victim-blaming sexual assault (Dallas Kent). No victim blaming happens on page.

February 2021

Brandon
Fjsheuwjqhrjrokdjeiskehuid

Eric Bennett
Are you having a stroke?
Do you smell burning toast

Brandon 
No. Shut up. 
I have Very Important Information 

Eric Bennett
Gossippy information?!

Brandon
YES!!

Eric Bennett
I’m all fucking ears 

Brandon
Troy and Harris sitting in a tree

Eric Bennett
No fucking way!!!

Brandon
Way. 

Eric Bennett
Dsarfhewuipfheuwiafehiwq

Wiebe
I KNOW!

Eric Bennett
Kyle says pics or it didn’t happen

Brandon
No! 
I’m not a total creeper, Benny!
What’s wrong with you?

Eric Bennett
Ugh. Fine. 
This is so exciting! 
What happened? 
Where were they? 
When was it?
Give me the details.

Brandon

Eric Bennett
Don’t try to pretend you’re any better than me on this.

Brandon
I don’t know what you’re talking about. 
I’m a consummate professional 

Eric Bennett
You’re a pain in my ass, is what you are.
You’re enjoying dragging this out, aren’t you?

Brandon
I would never!
I don’t know what you mean.
Why would I drag out giving you the gossip you crave
You’re being paranoid
[typing]

Eric Bennett
Oh my god. You’ve been pulling this shit since 1995

Brandon
And yet you keep coming back for more. 
So really, this is on you.

Eric
Are you ready to stop hoarding your gossip now?

Brandon
😀
I just saw them a minute ago. They were in Harris' office. 

Eric Bennett
Wow. In the office? Scandalous!

Brandon
Yes! They didn’t even close the door. 

Eric Bennett
Oh my god.

Brandon
They didn’t even notice when I closed the door

Eric Bennett
Oh no. Someone protect these idiots.

Brandon
I’m trying. 
I mean, not a whole lot I can do if they’re just gonna make out in plain sight
Not that they were ever that subtle. 

Eric Bennett
Sometimes I think the only reason anyone can stay closeted in this league is because heteronormativity rots the brain.

Brandon
😂 You’re not kidding. Although, I don’t think we’re the only ones who noticed Troy’s big-ass crush
And I think they may have had some matchmaking help along the way. 

Eric Bennett
Oh yeah? From who?

Brandon
From whom, college boy

Eric Bennett
Well I guess I won’t have to worry about what to do with my retirement when I’m jailed for murdering you. 
Tell your wife I’m sorry.

Brandon
Is that any way to talk to your favorite source of queer hockey gossip?

Eric Bennett
From whom, Your Gossipfulness?

Brandon
Ilya Rozanov. 

Eric Bennett
[Typing]
What makes you say that?

Brandon
Well, for one, I’ve caught him watching them with a knowing smile more than once.

Eric
I’m not surprised. 
Perceptive fucker.

Brandon
You said it.
I’m also pretty sure he manipulated that Christmas photo shoot so that they’d be alone together. 

Eric Bennett
Ilya Rozanov, secret matchmaker?

Branon
I told you he’s a big softie!

Eric Bennett
You did. 
It’s not that I didn’t believe you…

Brandon
You absolutely did not believe me

Eric Bennett
It’s just hard to see him that way.

Brandon
He contains multitudes

Eric Bennett
I guess so 
So what’s your next move with Troy?

Brandon
My next move? 
I’m not the one sharing less-than-secret smooches in the office. Why do I have to have a next move?

Eric Bennett
Your closeted front winger is making out with your social media manager. In the office. 
With the door open.
He’s also probably already on the commissioner’s shit list with his social media campaign.
Someone has to watch his back because he’s definitely not watching it himself. 

Brandon
Damnit
I’m that someone, aren’t I?

Eric Bennett
Yeah, Brando. You’re his coach.
Besides, who else is going to? 

Brandon
I guess, if you want to be logical about it.
Can I just keep an eye on it? Intervene if necessary?

Eric Bennett
Is that the kind of strategic thinking that’s behind your team’s hot streak?

Brandon
It’s mostly been good vibes and the power of friendship, I think.

Eric Bennett
You say that like I don’t see you on TV coaching your heart out at every game.

Brandon
You’ve been watching our games? 

Eric Bennett
Yeah. You’ve got me invested. 

Brandon
I don’t want you to if it’s hard. 

Eric Bennett
I appreciate that 
But I feel like I’m watching with coach eyes instead of player eyes, so it’s easier than watching the Admirals.
And believe me when I say, the supportive coach seems to be the key ingredient to your success. 

Brandon
Wow, Benny. I’m touched. 
Please
Go on
Tell me more about how great I am.

Eric
Oh shut up.

Brandon
No, I get it. I'm an inspiration.

Eric Bennett
You're a pain in the ass. 
Stop avoiding the issue.
Talk to Barrett. 

Brandon
Yeah, yeah.
I know you’re right. 

Eric Bennett
And teach him how to close a fucking door, while you’re at it.

Brandon
Sure. 
Cover my ass, cover Troy’s ass. Cover the team’s ass.
One awkward conversation about HR disclosures, coming right up. 

Eric Bennett
While not freaking him the fuck out over getting outed.

Brandon
Right. Don’t make a big deal out of it. 

Eric Bennett
Exactly

Brandon
Just casually call him into my office to nonthreateningly tell my closeted player that I saw him kissing a man and he needs to sign some forms.

Eric Bennett
You got this! 

Brandon

Eric Bennett
That’s the spirit.

A week later

Brandon
This is your fault
[Image: screenshot of email from Crowell]

Eric Bennett
How the hell is this my fault?
I didn't make Crowell into a raging asshole

Brandon 
You invoked his name

Eric Bennett
I think it was pretty inevitable, Brando.
Barrett must have known that too.
Which, really, makes me respect him even more

Brandon
I know. Me too

Eric Bennett
How did it go when you talked to him about illicit office kissing?

Brandon
Uhhhhhhh...

Eric Bennett
Brando.
Come on

Brandon
I know! 
I was getting around to it… 

Eric Bennett
Sure you were. 
Coward.

Brandon

Now that I have to talk to him about this Crowell bullshit, maybe I can just slip it in like, oh by the way…

Eric Bennett
Great plan

Brandon
You think so?

Eric Bennett
No, you dork! It’s a terrible plan.

Brandon
It’ll work. Have faith. 

Eric Bennett
So first you remind him that his social media presence needs to “reflect the values and standards of the league” 
And then you just transition naturally to “and by the way, I saw you kissing the social media guy”

Brandon
Exactly! It’s foolproof!

Eric Bennett
Sure it is. 
Jeez, this fucking email.

Brandon
I know, my blood boiled. 

Eric Bennett
“Values and standards” of protecting rapists. Fucking great. 

Brandon
Did you see the part where as head coach it was my job to ensure that players adhere to yadda yadda, or administer appropriate disciplinary action?

Eric Bennett
So, in other words, it’s your job to shut Troy up.
Nice. Crowell’s a real gem. 
What are you going to do about it?

Brandon
I’ve told you this is the best team in the league, right?

Eric Bennett
So many times. 

Brandon
I had a meeting with management

Eric Bennett
Oh, please tell me they said Crowell can go fuck himself?

Brandon
Pretty much, yeah.
You should have seen the way the owners looked at each other when the GM said “so what exactly is he requesting that we do here?”
They used rich old people words but basically said Crowell could eat shit and die for all they cared. 
It was beautiful. 

Eric Bennett
That’s amazing. I told you that they had that kind of reputation. Shit hit the fan and they stood up. 

Brandon
It’s the best scenario I could have hoped for. 
If they didn’t, I don’t know what I would have done. 
But it probably would have meant leaving after this season. I’d feel bad for abandoning the guys, but I couldn’t be part of an organization like that. 
As it is, I really lucked out with this team.

Eric Bennett
I’m happy for you, Brando. But luck had nothing to do with it. 

Brandon
😊

Eric Bennett
I’m assuming you didn’t actually send an email telling him to go fuck himself. 
What’s the plan?

Brandon
They’ve already pulled in the lawyers
They were throwing around terms like “enforceability” and “morality clause” and “legal standing.”
I’m no Eric Bennett

Eric Bennett
I didn’t go to law school. I have no idea what that shit means. 

Brandon
The bottom line is he can rant and rave. He can do minor things to make our lives a little more irritating. 
What else is new - that’s the status quo. 
But legally, there’s not a whole lot  he can do.
If he tries, it’ll end in a stalemate - the league will look so much worse if they punish someone for posting information that isn’t in any way accusatory or inflammatory.

Eric Bennett
I never thought I’d say these words but god bless good lawyers.

Brandon
You said it, pal. 
Credit goes to Troy, too. He’s been smart about this. 
No direct accusations. He never even mentions Kent’s name. 
I think that’s what’s pissing Crowell off the most, actually.

Eric Bennett
Sure. If he could actually slap Barrett with a defamation suit or sue him for breach of contract he’d have done it already instead of sending passive aggressive emails to poor defenseless head coaches.
It must piss him off to feel so…

Brandon
Powerless.
He feels powerless.

Eric Bennett
Oh I see what’s going on here.
You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

Brandon
A little, yeah. 
Obviously I’m not happy that my player is caught in the shit storm, but the league has pulled some shady shit protecting the wrong people for fucking ever, and I’m glad to be a part of pushing back against that. 

Eric Bennett
Well, you said you wanted to make a difference. 
Is telling the commissioner to fuck off what you had in mind?

Brandon
Not exactly but this season has been full of surprises. 
My idea of a wildly successful first year of coaching was ending up above .500 and having a positive locker room culture.
Who knew we’d end up with a franchise-high winning streak?
And I definitely never saw Barrett - or any of the stuff that came with him - coming.

Eric Bennett
Hell of a year you’ve had. 

Brandon
But this has to use up my drama quota for the season. 

Eric Bennett
Brando. 
You know better than to jinx yourself like that

Brandon
I think it’s safe to say that this battle is this year’s big challenge. What else could the season possibly throw at me? 

Brandon woke up to a million messages. Apparently Bood’s wife had given birth overnight. The kid looked freaking adorable. Brandon mentally rearranged lines for the upcoming game to accommodate the parental leave Bood would take, while he slowly made his way through the texts. Mixed in with the messages from people in the Centaurs organization was one from Benny. 

Eric Bennett
Pretty sweet, huh?
[link]
Hopefully Crowell will leave you and Troy alone now. 

Brandon clicked on the link that was a news story that made him sit up.

Dallas Kent had been arrested. Wow.

He scrolled through the article to get the details. Several women had come forward to press charges against Kent for sexual assault. Brandon admired their bravery. He imagined they were about to be vilified in even more personal and invasive ways than when they had been anonymous. The women had to know that - had to have seen the hateful abuse condemning them as liars, whores, and worse - but they did it anyway. Incredible. 

Brandon read through the whole report that included some highlight videos of Kent’s career. A clip came on of a goal Kent scored off of a tricky pass from Troy. Brandon recognized it - he had studied hours of footage on Barrett when he was first traded. What he hadn’t seen in the clip the video coordinator edited was the celebration after the goal, when the two teammates met for a hug. Troy was smiling with Kent - genuinely and enthusiastically. Brandon had almost forgotten that they had been friends - until they very much weren’t anymore. Good friends, by the looks of it.   

If there was one thing Brandon knew something about, it was how hard it was to reconcile old, positive feelings about someone with new, negative ones. How knotted up you could get when your heart and head weren’t on the same page about how you should feel. 

Every time the stadium or sports commentators replayed one of his goals from his days in Detroit, Brandon had to look away. Watching the celebrations that followed, reliving the moments of joy shared with someone who would hurt him so badly a few months later… it always felt like pressing on a bruise. He didn’t like to think about how long it had taken him to stop missing that hug.

He hadn’t ever thought about the reality of Troy being friends with Kent. About the time spent on the road, in planes, hotel rooms, winning games together, sharing dreams of championships - Brandon could imagine it now. How much harder would it have been for Troy when he realized his friend was a monster. Troy had very clearly severed that relationship with an axe but that didn’t mean the cut was clean. Brandon knew the kinds of raw edges that could linger. Knew you couldn’t always shut off feelings of friendship - of love - just because the person you loved hurt you. 

Obviously it wasn’t the same between Troy and Kent as it had been for him. At least he highly doubted it was. Brandon still figured that the complicated feelings Troy might have wouldn’t be that different. It was something to think about. 

Still, the arrest itself was pretty fucking awesome. 

Brandon
Actual consequences for Dallas Kent? 
This is a day for celebration.
These women are brave as hell. 

Eric Bennett
You said it. 

Brandon
Crowell might leave Troy alone.
He might have to.

Eric Bennett
It really is a day for celebration!

Brandon
Yeah, but he’s still got it out for this team. 
I don’t think I’ve heard the last from him. 

Eric Bennett
Luckily, you’re primed for a fight. 

***

The morning had been busy. He had a quick meeting with the GM to strategize any blow-back the Centaurs might get from Crowell. Only a demented person would blame Troy for Kent’s arrest but this was Crowell they were talking about. There was definitely something wrong with him. At least Brandon and the GM were on the same page about being prepared.  

Luckily the team video coordinator was on top of everything and prepped for the video meeting scheduled after that. Brandon walked in just in time to get it started. The news about Kent was satisfying but Brandon’s focus really needed to be on hockey. He’d led his team into a play-off position - somewhere they never expected to be. He had to concentrate on actual coaching if they wanted to stay there. 

Everyone in the room was buzzing with excitement. There was always a special energy to being on a winning team, but there was the added positivity of doing it with such a good group of guys. The whole team was locked in on the ice - in games and in practice. Hell, they even looked sharp in this video meeting - which was especially impressive, given how hard it was for 20 professional hockey players to sit still long enough to analyze footage. A quick scan of the room told him Boodram wasn’t the only one missing - Troy was also absent. When he walked in ten minutes late, looking rumpled but happy, Brandon just waved him in with a nod. There had probably been some early morning canoodling with Harris - Brandon wouldn’t begrudge him that. Troy was usually the first one on the ice for practice, and he had earned a little snuggle after this morning’s news.

The video meeting wrapped up and Brandon kept one ear on the conversation he was having with the video coach and one on the players talking about Kent getting arrested. Once Hayes and Dykstra left the room, Brandon approached Troy. 

“It’s something else, huh,” Brandon said.

“Yeah. It’s um. I can’t believe it, really,” Troy said, running a hand through his hair. 

“I think this should keep Crowell off your back. I’m sure he blames you for this in his twisted way, but what can he do? It’s a legal matter now.”

Troy nodded a little absently. They both knew this probably wouldn’t be the end of Troy’s Crowell problems but maybe he had other things on his mind after watching the video of his old friend getting hauled off in handcuffs. Brandon didn’t want to overstep, but he might have saved himself a lot of self-flaggilation back in the day if someone had told him it was okay to have tangled feelings when someone you cared about proved they weren’t worth it.

“Are you okay?” he asked Troy. It was a simple question but it was also the one that Brandon had ached for someone to ask him all those years ago. Nobody had, of course. Why would they? It wasn’t like anyone knew he was going through something. He knew it wasn’t exactly the same situation for Troy but it felt important to ask. Nobody else would be likely to. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Troy asked.

“Kent was your friend. I wouldn’t blame you if you felt conflicted about this.” He kept his tone neutral - matter of fact. He thought by now he and Troy knew each other well enough that Troy would understand that there was no judgement behind the statement. 

“I don’t.” Troy said, almost too quickly. Brandon watched him actually think about it. “Maybe a bit. I don’t know. I shouldn’t feel bad for him. It’s just weird, I guess. We were tight for a long time.”

Brandon nodded slowly, glad Troy could acknowledge it. He had been too heartbroken to reconcile that contradiction for months - maybe years. 

“Sometimes it’s hard to stop caring about someone, no matter how much you know you should,” Brandon told him. He thought he saw a flash of curiosity in Troy’s eyes, but, much to his relief, Barrett didn’t ask. He wanted to be the kind of coach that could use his more painful experiences to help his players, but there were still some lines he didn’t want to cross. 

“I’ve got better people to care about now,” he said, with a smile. It wasn’t the broad one that sometimes snuck through Troy’s stoic demeanor when Chiron licked his face or Harris…existed. But it was a content one. 

“You sure do,” Brandon agreed, clapping Troy on the shoulder. 

“Barrett, come the fuck on!” Rozanov called from the hall outside the video room.

“I’m talking to Coach, asshole!” said Troy, before shooting a comically alarmed look at Brandon. 

Ilya’s head popped into the doorway. “Coach is not as cute as Bood’s new baby.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Brandon said.

“You got him on FaceTime?” said Troy. 

“No. We’re waiting for you,” Ilya said.

Brandon smiled. Troy really did have better people to care about now. 

“Go. Tell Zane and his wife I said congrats.”

Brandon listened to the fading voices of Troy and Ilya as they made their way to the locker room.

“I heard all newborns looked like wrinkly aliens,” Troy said

“More like raisins. Very cute baby raisins. Listen. This is very important. Do not tell Cassie that her baby looks like…” 

Chapter End Notes

Did you think that when Wiebe woke up to a million messages it was the FanMail? Nope! Not yet! We have more outsider POV to bring you before we get there. Sorry and You’re Welcome!

Our canon-compliance coordinator (DD) wanted it noted that the timeline of when Troy wakes up and what “before this meeting” could mean are ambiguous enough that Wiebe waking up to Kent’s arrest is within acceptable parameters, but actually we’re pushing it by a few hours.
SM nodded very seriously and told her the few hours, of course, means we must now classify this as canon-divergent. Maybe even AU.

If you’re missing our favorite bisexual Russian, never fear - more Ilya is on the way!

Chapter 9: Pride Night

Chapter Notes

We have Eric juggling two text chains in this one so we’ve labeled them when he’s swapping back and forth so you know where we are. We’ll use this device in future chapters too - just a change to the normal formatting but something that will hopefully make it easier to follow.

February 2021

Ilya was dragging his heels getting to the arena the day of Pride Night. He slathered some Nutella on a bagel and imagined Shane’s scrunched nose as he stuffed the first bite of chocolate-hazelnutty goodness in his mouth. He told himself he only ate this because carbs and sugar were a delicious way to start the day. But he knew it was really because it made him picture Shane sitting next to him, scoffing at his choice. 

Troy’s video had posted a few minutes ago and the messages were already pouring in to support him. Ilya wanted to get to the arena to hug Troy and Harris. In a minute. After his bagel. He scrolled through the messages coming in when a new text notification popped up. 

Bennett
Hey

Ilya
Bennett.

Bennett
I just saw Troy’s video. It looked really great. Can you tell him I’m proud of him? Scott too. 

Ilya
Sure

Bennett
Good. 
Thanks.

Ilya thought that would be the end of it but another text came in. 

Bennett
But that’s not why I was texting

Ilya
Okay?

Bennett
Well it is but not really

Ilya stared at his phone for a moment, waiting for another message to come in but there was nothing. Not even the bouncing dots. 

Ilya
Why are you texting?

Eric
[typing]
It’s just that
[typing]
Sorry, I’m not good at this. 

Ilya
I’m glad you said it so I did not have to.

Bennett
I wanted to say, 
I know pride nights can feel…weird. 

Ilya wasn’t expecting that. It was unusual for him to not have a snappy reply but he didn’t. Bennett had put his finger on exactly how he was feeling this morning. 

Ilya
Yes.

Bennett
I thought you might know what I mean.
And it’s even weirder when your teammate is out and you aren’t.
It was great to see all that support for Scott.
But it was also hard. 

Ilya
Hard how?

Ilya swallowed a lump in his throat. He knew hiding his bisexuality was the best way to protect his relationship all these years. He wished he believed he and Shane could both be out. That they could be celebrated. Together. 

What would Pride Night be like next year, when they were married? Would he be booed instead of cheered - even by his own fans? Would his team embrace him the same way they embraced Troy? 

Bennett’s next message pulled him away from that thought spiral.

Bennett
I was so proud of Scott. And I was happy for him. 
But I was also jealous. And not ready to be out. 
It was a lot. 
I don’t know if you’re feeling any of that but if you are… 
I would understand.

Ilya
Bennett
You were jealous of Hunter?

Bennett
Here it comes. 

Ilya
Is this when you knew you had hit rock bottom?

Bennett
I see didn’t need to be so worried about you

Ilya 
I am always fine. You know this.
But maybe I understand a little bit what you were feeling.
Not about Hunter, of course.

Bennett
Right. Of course. 

Ilya 
But it is not so easy thinking about hiding tonight. 

Bennett
I get it.
And I know it won’t exactly make it easier, but remember that the celebration tonight is for you too.
Even if nobody else knows it. 
And I’ll be thinking about you. 
For what it’s worth. 

Ilya
You are not so bad at this as you think. 

Ilya felt a little lighter as he tossed the second half of his bagel into the trash and headed out the door. It helped to know that someone out there understood what it would be like for him. Ilya was genuinely happy for Troy. Focusing on that would stop him from doing what he really wanted to do - stand at center ice and shout “This is me. Fuck you if you don’t like it.”

Troy and Bennett both knew he was bisexual. He had told Svetlana about Shane last week. As the size of the secret shrank with each new person he let in, it became something he could live with. For now. He would not feel so alone tonight when he remembered that.

Ilya walked toward Harris’s office as soon as he got to the rink. It seemed like the most likely place he would find Troy. When he walked by Wiebe’s open door on the way there, he heard Coach call his name. He popped his head into the office. 

“Coach?”

“Hey, can you talk for a minute?”

“Of course.”

Sitting down in the leather chairs in this office wasn’t unusual for Ilya - it was all part of being the captain. He enjoyed these meetings. He had many coaches in his life and almost all of them were assholes. Wiebe was the opposite. Obviously Ilya always loved to compete. But Wiebe was the first coach who reminded him of the simple joy that came from being on the ice. For the first time in years, hockey felt like it had when he was on the pond in Russia, passing the puck with his mother, seeing her spirit lighten in those moments. 

Coach always greeted him with a smile but the one on his face today was more sympathetic than usual. Which was…confusing.

“So,” Coach began. “Pride Night.”

“Yes,” Ilya agreed. Because what did Coach want him to say?

“I wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling about it,” Wiebe said.

The answer to that question was so complicated Ilya wouldn’t have been able to explain it to himself - nevermind his coach. But he couldn’t imagine why Wiebe was asking about it in the first place. Why would he think Ilya was feeling anything other than fine about it? 

“Uh. I feel okay?”

He wished it hadn't come out as a question. Especially when Coach shot him a too-knowing smile. But Ilya wasn’t sure what Wiebe thought he knew. He was usually so good at reading people but he didn’t understand this smile.

“Do you?” Coach asked

Surely Wiebe didn’t think he had a problem with Pride night. Coach had taken the time to get to know his players - he couldn’t have misunderstood Ilya so badly after all these months, could he?

“Of course. This is a big night for Troy,” Ilya said. 

“Listen, I know you’re happy for Barrett. We all are,” Wiebe said.

A new thought occurred to him - did Wiebe think Troy shouldn’t have come out? That this would be a distraction for the team like those internet assholes? Or fucking Crowell? Ilya hoped not. He’d hate to have to beat up his coach. 

But, no. That was not right. Wiebe had smiled as much as anyone when Troy announced his relationship with Harris. Ilya had heard him tell Troy he was excited for him tonight.

“Yes. I am,” Ilya agreed. 

“And maybe I haven’t said this before but I appreciate the way you’ve taken him under your wing this season,” Wiebe said.

“I am the captain. It is my job.” 

“I think we both know you’ve gone above and beyond, and I don’t for a minute want you to think it’s gone unnoticed or unappreciated,” Coach said. “That being said, I don’t want you to feel like you’re in an uncomfortable situation tonight.”

Why would Wiebe think that Pride Night would make Ilya feel uncomfortable? Unless… Did he suspect Ilya was bisexual? Ilya couldn’t imagine what might have given him away. Ilya hadn’t ogled anyone but Shane in a long time. But they did run inclusive hockey camps together - maybe Wiebe had put the pieces together. Had he seen through Ilya’s “friendship” with Shane?

“Why would I feel uncomfortable?” Ilya asked, trying to figure out what Wiebe knew. 

“I know it’s not always easy to reconcile the different parts of your life. Especially if they’re at odds with each other. Sometimes, if you’re keeping a lot of balls in the air, it’s best to figure out which ones will bounce if you drop them.”

Ilya began to wonder if he’d stopped understanding English at some point in the conversation. 

His total confusion must have been obvious, because Wiebe sighed and rubbed his face.  

“What I mean is, we have lots of pieces of ourselves. Relationships we need to juggle. And sometimes one of those pieces needs to be what dictates our decisions. And that’s okay.” 

Wiebe had figured out Ilya was bisexual. Fuck, Ilya was not ready for this. He barely heard what Coach said next over the ringing in his ears. 

“I just want you to know, if you need to sit it out, nobody is going to think less of you,” Coach said. 

“What?” Ilya was hopelessly lost. “You want me to sit the game out?”

“No! Of course not. We need you out there. But if, you know, the celebration, the rainbow tape, all of that stuff - I don’t want things to be harder for you,” Coach said.  

“I don’t…um…harder?” he said, dumbly. 

“Yeah. I don’t want to put you in a difficult spot. I’m sure we can explain it to the team - to Troy - so they understand.”

What did he want to explain to the team? Did Wiebe want to out him? What the fuck? 

He wanted to come out. He was aching to come out, but not like this. Not with Shane over two hours away and alone. 

No. Ilya must be misunderstanding something. 

“I don’t want that,” he said. He wasn't even sure what he was responding to, but nothing Coach suggested sounded like anything Ilya wanted. Still, he needed to be clear. “I don’t want to sit it out. I want to celebrate with Troy. 

Coach Wiebe smiled at him like he’d volunteered to fistfight a stadium full of homophobic bullies himself. 

Not that he wouldn’t, if it was necessary, but it was still a little weird for the moment. 

“Ok!” Wiebe said, clapping his hands together once. “I trust you to know what’s best for you. But, can I ask, what about your family?”

His family? What did David and Yuna have to do with anything? 

“Uh…My family?”

“Yeah, do you have any family in Russia?”

What? The only thing that made less sense than… pretty much everything Coach had said up to this point was the idea that his dickhead brother was relevant to any part of this discussion. Ilya felt like he was that little girl in the movie whose head spun around on her neck. 

“Um. I have a brother.” 

“And if you participate, it won’t make trouble for him? For your ability to visit him?”

Oh. Oh! Ilya wanted to laugh but he just blew out a breath and slumped in his chair. Of course. Stupid Russia and their stupid laws against gay “propaganda.”

“Right. Yes. My brother,” Ilya said slowly. “You are worried about Pride Night because I am Russian.”

“Well… yeah. I thought that was obvious,” Coach said, with his brow furrowed. He suddenly looked as confused as Ilya had felt for the last ten minutes. 

***

Brandon watched his captain slump down in his chair.  He was sure he missed a step somewhere because for the last ten minutes Ilya had been pale-faced, panicked, and looking like he wanted to puke. Now he was smiling and it looked like his strings had been cut. He let out a little laugh, which was even more bizarre given his next words.

“You do not have to worry about this. I do not speak to my brother and I have not been to Russia in many years.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be. He is an asshole,” Ilya said. He sobered and added, “But thank you. For being worried. No other coach has asked me this before. It is…” Ilya seemed to search for the right word. He landed a little lamely on, “Nice.”

Wiebe’s heart broke a little bit about Ilya having no family outside of a brother he didn’t speak to. He also hated that hockey bred coaches that never considered their superstar’s well-being. Nevermind rookies and third line players. 

“Ilya, I always want to be the kind of coach who puts my players’ well-being first. If I’m not doing that, I don’t think I’m doing my job,” Brandon told him. 

“You are, Coach. This team knows it. We love to play for you because we know you care. This is why we will get the Cup this year,” Rozanov said, with his signature grin. 

Brandon smiled at his confidence. He also felt a little choked up. He’d set out to create a positive culture in Ottawa. Ilya telling him he’d succeeded made him feel equal parts proud and overwhelmed. 

“That’s the spirit,” he said, maybe a bit too cheerfully.  

Ilya’s smile was knowing. Brandon could practically hear Eric shaking his head and murmuring perceptive fucker. 

“Okay, then. Go warm up. I’ll see you in the locker room.”

Brandon stared at the doorway in thought for a moment after Ilya left, before picking up the phone. 

Brandon
I just had the strangest conversation with Rozanov 

Eric
[typing]
What about?

Brandon
I thought he might want to sit out the Pride Night stuff

Eric
[typing]
Why?

Brandon
He’s Russian, Benny! 

***

Eric laughed out loud. The last month or so had been an exercise in biting his tongue. If his tongue were actually his fingers that started typing things they really shouldn’t be typing to Rozanov’s coach. Every time Brandon had texted about Rozanov, Eric found himself wanting to ask - Do you suspect yet? What do you know? What has he told you? More than once Kyle had vetoed a text before Eric sent it. 

Brandon
I’ve heard of Russian players and their families getting in trouble when they’ve participated in things like this.
And if you could’ve seen him 
For most of the conversation he looked…
Panicked 
And then he just started laughing out of nowhere

Eric covered his face for a moment, an amused grin on his face as he tried to imagine how this conversation went. What exactly Brandon said that would have gotten that kind of reaction from Rozanov. 

Once again Eric found himself torn between wanting to change the subject and wanting as many details as he could get.

Eric
Laughing?

Brandon
Yes! It was so weird! 
I told him I didn’t want it to be hard for him

Eric wished Kyle was here, so he could read out some of these messages to him. 

Brandon
And then I told him if he needed to sit out of the celebrations, we could explain things to the team
And he looked like I’d just offered to kick him in the nuts

Eric chuckled, trying to imagine the scenario. It was so unfair that he had no one to share the absurdity of this whole situation with.

Part of him wanted to text Rozanov again and hear what actually happened. But Roz didn’t know Eric was friends with Wiebe. It definitely wasn’t the moment to bring up that sometimes Eric gossiped with Roz’s coach. He could only imagine how well that would go over. 

Fuck it, he thought to himself as he took a screenshot and sent it to Kyle. 

Brandon
But then he assured me that the only person he has back in Russia is a brother who’s apparently an asshole and that he’d be fine.

Eric’s phone buzzed with a separate message from Kyle.

Kyle
OMG
I’m dying

Eric
I’m genuinely about to explode trying to keep this from him. 
What do I even say?

Kyle
🤣
I feel your struggle. I really do
But I’m still laughing trying to imagine Rozanov sitting there sweating buckets at “we can explain things to the team”

Eric
I wish I could have been a fly on that wall

Kyle
What did Brando say to make him look panicked? I have to know!

*

Wiebe/Eric Chat
Eric
So it sounds like the Russia thing isn’t a problem

Wiebe
Yeah 
But why did he act so weird if it wasn’t a big deal?

*

Kyle/Eric Chat
Eric
[Screenshot]
Probably, like, “I know tonight might be difficult for you…” 
Which, come to think of it, is more or less what I said to him. Because I know he’s fucking closeted.

Kyle
😂😂😂

Eric
I have to reply. What the fuck do I say? 

Kyle
Tell him the mind of the straight man is a mystery to us all.
Which is what Rozanov is.
A totally straight man who knows how to buy a pair of jeans that show off his ass.
As all straight men do.

Eric
How about I say literally anything but that?

*

Wiebe/Eric Chat
Eric
That is weird
Maybe something else is going on
He’s a weird guy
The mind of a straight man

No. Delete. He wasn’t desperate enough to take Kyle’s ridiculous “advice.”

Eric 
Who knows?
Maybe he just didn’t know what to say.

Brandon
Do you think I screwed up asking him about it? 
I didn’t know he was estranged from his family. I feel like such an asshole. 

*

Kyle/Eric Chat
Eric
[Screenshot]

Kyle
Omg Brando, no! 🤣😭

Eric
This is torture

Kyle
For you, maybe. I’m having a great time
Do you think the family drama came up before or after Brandon threatened to out him?

Eric
You’re not helping. 
I have to say something.
I can’t let him beat himself up about this.

Kyle
Ok, say, “Don’t worry. You probably didn’t upset your totally heterosexual star player too much.”

Eric
Thanks. Great advice. I’ll get right on that.

Kyle
😘

*

Wiebe/Eric Chat
Eric
You’re not an asshole. 
Do you believe him that he’s ok to participate?

Wiebe
I’m not sure. The whole thing was so strange. 
I don’t see why he’d lie. And he’s clearly done pride nights before. 
But something had him panicked.

Yeah, probably thinking his coach wanted to out him to his team. 

Eric 
Maybe just keep an eye on him - you know how to read your players.

Wiebe
Yeah, that’s a good call. 

*

Kyle/Eric Chat
Eric
What a mess. Poor Wiebe. 

Kyle
Poor Wiebe?! No! Poor Ilya!
Your sweet, well meaning high school boyfriend is out there terrorizing the Russian Menace on accident
He’s living the dream of half the league

Eric
No one wants to terrorize Rozanov

Kyle
Sure, hon. Whatever you say.
Russian Menace Gets Menaced by Well Meaning Coach sounds like a title I’d totally click on in PornHub

Eric
🙄

Kyle
Wait! 
You’re using emojis now?
Correctly?
I’m so proud! 
And a little turned on🫠

Eric
Don’t get used to it. I just needed a reaction as ridiculous as you. 

Kyle

*

Wiebe/Eric Chat
Wiebe
Tonight is going to be so surreal.
I can’t believe I get to be the coach for the second big coming-out party in the NHL. 

Eric
The first pride night after Scott came out was wild
And that was like 6 months after the Cup kiss
Coming out on pride night…Troy raised the bar 
It’s like a celebration and a challenge all in one.

Wiebe
I’m excited about it.
I feel like a proud papa seeing how far he’s come since he got here. 
This is gonna be such a great night for him. 

Eric
Not just for him.

Wiebe
True. It’s a big deal for the league, the fans, and Harris too, obviously.

Eric
No. 
I mean, yeah. 
But I was talking about you.

Wiebe
I’m not the one coming out, Benny

Eric
I know. But it’s Pride Night, not Troy Night. Even if people don’t know it, it’s for you too
At least that’s how I always liked to think about it. 

Wiebe didn’t say anything for a while. Eric hadn’t considered talking to Wiebe about this the way he had Rozanov but maybe he should have. He wondered if he fucked it up.

Eric
Sorry, it’s none of my business

Wiebe
No, it’s not that. 
Also, fuck that, it’s totally your business
I just hadn’t thought about it. We didn’t have Pride Nights when I played. 
I guess I’ve been so focused on Troy, kicking Toronto’s ass, and worrying about Rozanov not wanting to participate for legitimate reasons but hating that he might not want to participate because this is such a big deal, I hadn’t stopped to consider.

Eric
I wasn’t suggesting you come out or anything. Just, you know, even though I wasn’t out, I took heart from all the support Scott got, knowing I could have it too if I wanted.

Wiebe
Yeah. I’ll keep that in mind tonight.
Thanks, Benny.

When Brandon entered the arena that night, he was floored by the fans. When the players came out for warm-ups the crowd went wild - even more than they had been for the past few weeks of sell-outs. Brandon couldn’t stop smiling. There were tons of posters in every section of the stands supporting Troy. There were also more pride flags than Brandon could count. He even spotted a few bi flags scattered among the rainbows. His eye caught on a sign that said “We’ve ALWAYS BEEN here! We’ve ALWAYS BEEN queer. GET USED TO IT!!” He snapped a picture and sent it to Eric. 

Brandon
More true than they know!

Eric
I told you! It’s for you too! 

Brandon had never seriously considered coming out publicly. Certainly not when he was playing, but also not even when he came back to coach in a post-Hunter world. It still felt too risky. Besides, he didn’t want to have to deal with the biphobia that would inevitably follow, considering he married a woman. But looking at the enthusiasm the fans had for Troy tonight was amazing. Seeing all the queer fans in the stands declaring their love for themselves and hockey, it felt magical. There had to be more queer players than the ones he knew about. Maybe he should be part of the tipping point. For the first time in his life, he thought the risk might be worth the reward. 

He watched Ilya nudge Troy after their first lap around the ice, forcing Troy to look at the love the city had for him. Brandon was relieved to see that Ilya was smiling from ear to ear. It seemed that Brandon shouldn’t have worried this would make him uncomfortable. Still, when Troy went to do the honorary face-off before the start of the game, Brandon kept an eye on his captain. His smile faded a little. Brandon saw some tears in his eyes. He almost looked… wistful. Ilya looked up into the stands and scanned the signs, and Brandon thought there was something almost sad about his expression. 

Brandon filed that  away for later. He didn’t have time to think about it now. This was an important game - it was time to focus.   

Rozanov was leaning against the building with a cigarette in his hand when Brandon left the stadium later that night. Ilya was staring at the little cancer stick like it had all the answers but while Brandon stood there for a while before Ilya noticed him, he never took a drag. 

“You doing okay, Ilya?” 

Rozanov startled, quickly dropped the cigarette, stomped it out, and bent to pick up the butt.

“Coach. I was not…” He looked guiltily between the butt in his hand and Brandon. “Sorry. I don’t usually anymore.”

Brandon waved the apology away. Ilya looked like the world had settled on his shoulders. It wasn’t the first time this season Brandon had noticed a heaviness in his captain, but he’d been so energized recently. He cut a lonely figure now, loitering outside the rink. It was a stark contrast to the big smile he had seen Ilya sharing with Troy after the game.

“Some, night, huh?” Brandon said. 

Rozanov nodded and sighed softly. “It was very good. For Troy.”

There it was again. That look in his eyes Brandon couldn’t quite decipher. The fact that he couldn’t figure out his captain today was nagging at him. 

“For the city too. The queer fans.” 

“Yes,” Ilya said. “It is good they have role models. And Barrett is less boring than Hunter.” 

It wasn’t Ilya’s best work, but Brandon smiled anyway. 

“Maybe this will inspire more players to come out. Enough people do and who knows? Maybe it won’t be such a big deal anymore.” 

Maybe Brandon would be one of those people. It wasn’t something he would have considered six months ago but after tonight? Who knew? He pulled himself back from that fantasy to find Ilya looking at him with a weird intensity. Like he was trying to x-ray his brain. It was… alarming. And a little confusing.

“Hockey should be for everyone. Queer kids need to know that, too,” Brandon added.

“Yes,” said Ilya. He cleared his throat. “It would be good for this to not be such a big deal. For them.” 

And for me, Brandon thought. Brandon swallowed hard. He’d thought his own coming out didn’t matter anymore but today showed him…it did. And that maybe it was something he should think about celebrating instead of avoiding. “Well,” he said with forced enthusiasm. “Here’s hoping it’s the start of something new.”

Ilya looked at him for a long time before he nodded. “Here is hoping,” he echoed, like he was trying out a new phrase. The idiom sat uncomfortably in his accent. Neither of them said anything for a while. Ilya fiddled with the stomped out cigarette for a minute, like he was wishing it was still lit. Finally he sighed and gestured towards the trash can around the corner with the cigarette butt. “I should…”

Brandon nodded. “I should get home myself. Good game, Roz.”

“Goodnight Coach.” 

Brandon knew he was missing a piece of the puzzle. He’d watched Ilya go through a whole rollercoaster of emotions today and very few of them made sense. Then again, having an estranged brother in a country that was hostile to a friend and teammate you were proud of would be enough to send anyone’s mind whirling. 

He hoped Ilya had someone to talk to about whatever was going on with him. He didn’t really know that much about his captain’s personal life. Now that he thought about it, the fact that he was estranged from his family in Russia was the most personal information Roz had let slip in the entire year Brandon had been with the Centaurs. He was friendly with everyone on the team, but friendly acquaintances weren’t the same as a real support system. As he watched Ilya’s car pull out of the lot, Brandon hoped he was going to someone safe. 

Chapter End Notes

We’ve made poor Wiebe look pretty hapless in this one where everyone knows something but him. But his heart is in the right place.

Notes from the writing process:
SM: WHY DID YOU DELETE THAT?! I LOVED IT! PUT IT BACK!
DD: I just moved it - I left a note
SM: Oh
DD: Now I made two notes, a text, and this [typing directly into our doc].
I didn’t mean to alarm you.
SM: Sorry. I just saw it wasn’t there anymore. I thought I got up to put my enchilada in the oven and came back to BETRAYAL
DD: 😂😂🤣

Chapter 10: Heteronormativity Rots the Brain

Chapter Notes

Sorry for the delay, especially at this highly anticipated point in the story. DoubleDecker sort of became a doctor last week and we were distracted. But here we are! The moment you’ve all been waiting for!
Love,
Dr. SugMak and Dr. DoubleDecker
P.S. from SM: I know, DoubleDecker is sooo selfish with her time. Like, fine, get your doctorate or whatever but we’ve got a fic to write! Get your priorities in order!
P.P.S.: DD fought me on describing her as MOTHERFUCKING DOCTOR DoubleDecker above. Boo her in the comments.

March 2021

Eric was in the middle of his morning yoga practice when his phone rang. He turned off his notifications for his texts but not his calls when he did yoga since he figured anyone who wanted to talk to him badly enough would call, and anyone who called needed to talk to him. It was one of the advantages of being older than all his friends - they seemed to be allergic to using their phones as, you know, phones. 

When he reached for his cell, he saw it was Wiebe. That was strange. While they had been texting pretty regularly for the past 8 months, they hadn’t spoken on the phone since… probably high school. 

“Hey, what’s up? Is everything ok?” Eric answered. 

“Um, “ Brandon sounded rattled. “Not really. I guess you haven’t been online this morning.”

“No, why?” Eric asked. 

“There’s a…” he hesitated. Took a deep breath. “I don’t…” 

Eric waited, brows raised, until Brandon let out a frustrated noise.

“Ok, I’m just gonna send you a link,” Brandon said. 

“You can’t just tell me what’s going on?”

“Clearly not,” Wiebe said. 

“Okay…?” 

Eric went to switch over to his texts and saw he had many many notifications. From Scott; from several of his group chats with various permutations of Scott, Carter, Kip, Kyle, and last years’ Admirals team; and a group chat he had with Wyatt Hayes, Antton Niskanen, and a few other goalies around the league. He didn’t open them, as he navigated to his chat with Brandon, but he caught snippets of “Holy shit” and “Did not see that coming” from the previews.  What was going on? He opened the link and… holy fuck. There they were, making out over Hayden Pike’s shoulder as the dumbass delivered a bland message to some guy named Brad. 

There was no way Rozanov and Hollander knew they were being filmed with a kiss like that. Eric never really had any strong opinions about Pike but what kind of idiot was he not to notice or check before he sent this? “Fuck,” he said out loud. From what he could tell the video was already circulating… everywhere.

“Yeah,” Brandon said. “I couldn’t text you, I can’t have receipts on this. Actually, can we FaceTime? I want to show you the email Crowell sent me and I don’t want to send a screenshot.”

Shit. Eric had only gotten as far as thinking how awful it was for them to be outed this way but of course fucking Crowell was already pulling some bullshit. 

“Sure. Let me just get my iPad. If you want me to read something, I need a bigger screen.”

“Right?!!!! Like when did my eyes stop working?”

“I know. My shoulder, my back, my knees. I earned those pains. But my eyesight going - I’m taking that personally,” Eric said while he made his way down to the kitchen level. “Ok, I’ll call you back in a second.”

Eric set up the iPad on his counter and sent the call to Wiebe. He grinned when Brandon’s face filled the screen. They’d been talking for months now but they hadn’t actually seen each other in forever. Obviously Eric had seen him on TV but it wasn’t the same. 

“Hey. It’s fucking good to see your face,” Brandon said as he smiled back. 

“I know. Why haven’t we actually talked before? What are we, teenagers, afraid of the phone or something?”

“Don’t get me started. The first time I called a player on the phone he freaked out. He assumed it meant he was in trouble or something,” said Brandon. 

“Kids these days,” Eric deadpanned. “Ok. Show me the email.” 

Brandon shared his screen and Eric read the Commissioner's instructions, scowling at phrases like “grave lapses in judgment,” and “players failed to conduct themselves in a manner that meets the League’s expectations of them." 

“Jesus,” he breathed. “It’s like that Troy bullshit on steroids. ‘Obviously this is a matter of significant concern for your respective franchises and the League as a whole.’ It’s two guys kissing!” 

Brandon laughed bitterly. “According to the commissioner, two guys kissing is basically the apocalypse."  

“Or worse - the end of hockey as we know it,” Eric mused. 

“One can only fucking hope,” Wiebe said, rolling his eyes. 

He got to Crowell’s directive that Brandon bench Rozanov and “deal with” the situation. 

“What the fuck does he want you to do to ‘deal with’ this?” 

“If I had to guess, burn Ilya at the stake?” Brandon quipped.

“Shit, Brando.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. I think… I think this is going to be another situation for the lawyers. Especially if he gets pushy on however he wants me to handle it. But I don’t think I can get around benching him for now.”

Brandon rubbed his fingers through his hair with a frustrated grunt. 

“I can’t tell you how much I fucking hate this. Like on every level.”

“I know you do,” Eric said quietly. 

“This is the last thing he needs right now. And for Crowell to put those words in my mouth? I’m his coach - I’m supposed to build him up, not fucking kick him when he’s down. How can I bench him when what I should really be doing is supporting him after his life just fucking blew up? ‘Hey, I’m with you, and I promise this team is going to be safe for you. Also you’re benched.’” Wiebe’s voice rose as he ranted. 

“You managed to separate the commissioner’s demands from your own feelings when you talked to Troy. There’s no reason you need to defend Crowell to Rozanov,” Eric said calmly. 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just…”

“This one hits a little closer to home,” Eric said sympathetically. “I get it.” 

Brandon sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “I can’t ignore it this time. It’s a direct instruction. And he invoked the fucking morality clause in their contracts, so…”

“He has enough legal cover to actually force you to bench him,” Eric finished for him. “For now, anyway.”

“For longer if he tries to initiate some kind of… investigation into whether they’ve been throwing matches. Which would be absurd and exactly the kind of thing he’d do.”

Eric blinked at him because he hadn’t even thought about that angle. Jesus. 

Brandon rubbed his face. “I may have spent the last few hours creating worst case scenarios.”

Eric couldn’t really blame him. “Have you talked to the owners?”

“Yeah. They pretty much said what you said. If there’s a way of getting around it, we certainly won’t find it in time before we have to leave for Philly today.” He smiled, a little wanly. “But they’re also totally on Ilya’s side on this, thank fuck. Which I should have expected after everything with Troy, but it’s not the same as advocating for victims of sexual assault. Ilya’s dating a rival. Or kissing a rival, anyway,” he said after a second of consideration. “I wasn’t sure they’d be ok with that. But the bottom line is: Crowell can force us to sit him for a game or two, but if he tries to take it farther than that he’ll have a fight on his hands.”

“What did I tell you?!” 

Bandon smiled. “Yeah. You were right about them.”

“Hell yeah I was right about them!” Eric didn’t realize he had so much righteous indignation about a hockey team. Although the yelling might have been more about how pissed he was at Crowell. 

“You are way too energetic this early in the morning.” Eric blinked in surprise to find Kyle sauntering down the stairs. “It should be illegal, honestly.”

“It’s not early,” said Eric. 

Kyle glared. He was dressed but his hair was still mussed. It was adorable. “When you work until 3am, anything before noon is too early.”

“Wait, is that Kyle?!” 

Kyle came to stand behind Eric, wrapping his arms around Eric’s torso and slotting his head next to Eric’s to be in the frame.

“Is this the famous Brandon Wiebe who stole my ‘first boyfriend’ title from me?” Kyle asked.

“Sorry, not sorry,” Wiebe said with a wink. 

“I suppose I’ll forgive you this time,” said Kyle, heaving a fake put-upon sigh. “Nice to put a face to the name. What are you guys talking about at the ungodly hour of 10am?”

“There’s, uh… this video.”

Kyle nodded, his eyes losing their usual playful sparkle. 

“With Ilya?”

“Yeah.”

“I was just talking to Kip about it. Scott’s freaking out, apparently. It’s… really big news, I gather.”

Eric let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“I hate seeing anyone outed like that,” Kyle said, sadly. 

“I know. We’re mostly talking about the hockey part of it but… yeah this is really awful for them,” Eric said. Brandon’s eyes seemed to ping pong between Kyle and Eric. He could almost see the wheels turning in Wiebe’s head.

“You’re not surprised. I just realized. Everyone I’ve talked to today is in shock but you barely blinked. Did you know?” 

Eric froze. Brandon’s face was open, not accusatory, but it had been a big secret that he’d been keeping and it’s not like it hadn’t come up. He patted Kyle’s hands that were resting on his stomach as a silent signal that, luckily, Kyle picked up on. 

“I’m gonna make some coffee,” he said, kissing Eric on the cheek and left the camera view. 

“Rozanov came out to me after the plane thing. I think it was a little bit of a ‘staring down mortality puts things in perspective’ moment for him and he knew I’d be safe.” 

“Yeah I can see that. I’m glad he had someone to talk to.”

Eric snorted. “‘Talk to’ might be taking it a bit far. He was pretty drunk.”

Brandon smiled ruefully. “I don’t blame him. Hell, I got pretty drunk that night once I made all the calls I needed to make.”

“Fair. I don’t think he knows we’re friends but he was really adamant that nobody could know. I think keeping it a secret was weighing on him but…”

“But it’s not easy to just come out,” Brandon finished. “Especially as one of the stars of the league. He’s got so many eyes on him. And there’s the Russia thing. ”

“Yeah. That’s why I didn’t tell you,” said Eric. “I wanted to, but...”

“No, of course! Even without all of that, it isn’t your secret to share. I would have done the same thing.”

“I know. I knew you’d understand, but it was so hard to keep it from you,” Eric said. 

Brandon’s eyes lit up.

“Oh! This is why you kept typing texts for like 10 minutes that would be two words!”

Eric grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, kind of. I didn’t want to outright lie to you. I was also bursting to give you hints but then having to delete them.”

“I thought I was going crazy!”

“Nope, just me trying not to out a guy,” Eric said. 

“Did you know about him and Hollander?” Wiebe asked.

“Not for sure but I suspected,” Eric said. “Actually, I thought it might be the real reason he hadn’t come out.”

“What do you mean?” Brandon asked.

What did he mean? He’d thought about this a lot in the last month or so.  

“I got the impression that Roz wanted to come out. Like he was ready to, but something was holding him back. I don’t think it would take the internet that long to have put the pieces together if he had.”

“Hollander is sort of out,” said Brandon, clearly thinking out loud, “and they have that foundation together.”

“Exactly. But they’re on rival teams,” Eric continued his theory.  “It’s not just Crowell or homophobic assholes who might have a problem with opposing players dating. It seemed like that might be a big part of the reason they had to keep hiding,” Eric said.  

Brandon nodded unhappily. “I’ve already seen some nasty comments about ‘conflicts of interest’ circulating online. I really hope the rest of the team aren’t going to be dicks about this. It’s good to know they all accepted Troy easily enough but Harris isn’t a rival.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately we still live in a world where hockey players dating each other is going to rub people the wrong way - even people who are ok with us being queer,” Eric said. 

Wiebe’s eyes sharpened for a second before he turned his head to stare at something off-screen. Eric watched him rub his thumb over his lip like he was mulling something over. 

“What are you thinking?” he asked. Wiebe blinked like he was refocusing and gave Eric a considering look. 

“I’m thinking…” He hesitated for a moment, opened his mouth as if to continue, then snapped it shut again.

“You’re thinking…?” Eric prompted. 

Wiebe nodded like he had come to a decision. “I might tell him.”

Eric’s eyebrows shot up. “Tell him? That you’re bi, you mean?”

Wiebe hesitated for a moment. “Yes. Yeah, that I’m bi.”

“Yeah? Brando, that’s huge,” Eric said. 

“I know. But I hate that I have to bench him. I have no idea how the team is going to react. I think I need him to know that the support I want to give him goes deeper than allyship, you know?”

Kyle gave an approving nod from the other side of the room but Eric knew how hard it was to come out - even to a hockey player you knew was queer. It had taken him years to come out to Scott.

“Yeah. It makes sense to connect with him that way, if that’s what you want. I think it might be good for both of you,” Eric said. 

“At the very least it will prove to him I’m not on Crowell’s side.” Wiebe said

“I doubt he would ever think you were on that asshole’s side. He knows you’re the kind of guy who has his back from the whole Pride Night thing, anyway-” 

Wiebe groaned loudly before Eric could finish his thought.

“Oh my god! Pride Night! What the actual fuck, how did you keep a straight face when I was texting you that day?!” Wiebe exclaimed.

“I very much did not keep a straight face,” Eric told him.

“I can’t believe I had that whole conversation with him and didn’t pick up on this,” Wiebe said.

“I don’t know how well you remember it, but I’m convinced he spent half your talk thinking you were trying to out him to the team.”

He stifled a laugh as Brandon put his head in his hands and groaned.

“How did I not see it all season?” asked Brandon.

“Don’t blame yourself. He hid it well.”

“He really didn’t,” Kyle muttered under his breath. 

“Plus he’s European,” Eric said. 

“That’s not an excuse!” Kyle said, this time loud enough for Wiebe to hear. 

“Kyle’s right,” Wiebe said. “I just assumed. Heteronormativity really does rot the brain.”

“Hey, that’s my line!” said Kyle, popping back into the camera frame. 

Brandon grinned. “It’s a good one.”

Kyle looked ridiculously pleased with himself.

“You told him my line?!”

“Obviously,” Eric said, dryly. He turned back to Wiebe, who continued. 

“I should have realized. I could have been there for him somehow,” Wiebe said.

“No you couldn’t have.” Eric said. 

Wiebe and Kyle gave him identical surprised looks. He just shrugged.  

“What would you have done? Gone up to him and been like, are you bi? Of course not,” Eric said to Wiebe. “The only thing you could have done differently was not freak him out on Pride Night.”

“Eric’s right,” Kyle added. Wiebe sighed. 

“Yeah, I know.”

“But you can be there for him now, which is what matters. He’s going to need it.”

“Yeah,” said Brandon. “Shit, I’m sorry I know I’m dumping all of this on you.”

“Don’t be stupid. That’s what I’m here for. You get all that shit out of your system now so you can be what he needs when you talk to him,” said Eric.

“My wife has been listening to me bitch all morning but she has less to say about the hockey stuff. She did offer to take a hit out on Crowell, though, so that was nice,” Wiebe said. 

Eric and Kyle both laughed. 

“What do you think the commissioner’s going to do?” asked Kyle.

“Probably try to pressure them to deny it all and force them back into the closet,” said Brandon.

Kyle made a face. “Can he do that?”

“He can try,” said Eric with a shrug. “But it would be kind of stupid and a little desperate to anyone who watched that video. That kiss was so obviously real. It was too intimate not to be. It was…”

“Hot. The word you’re looking for is hot.”

Kyle burst out laughing. 

“Brando!” said Eric. 

“What? I’m married, not dead!” 

Kyle snorted. “He’s not wrong. That kiss was pretty hot.”

“He’s your player!” said Eric 

“So?” Wiebe said, unbothered. “I’m not the one kissing him on video.”

Kyle turned Eric. “I like him. Can we keep him?” he said. 

Eric quirked his eyebrow and Wiebe snorted.

“What?” Kyle asked. 

“Buddy, we’ve been friends longer than you’ve been alive,” Wiebe said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But I think his wife has full custody rights.” 

“That she does,” said Wiebe cheerfully as Kyle pouted at the screen. 

“Will she at least let us borrow you every other weekend and holiday?” Kyle asked.

Brandon grinned. “I don’t know that I’m ready to have you guys as my weekend dads.”

“Okay, I think we’ve stretched his metaphor about as far as he can go,” Eric said quickly, before any “Daddy” jokes came out of Kyle’s mouth. From the knowing smirk on his boyfriend’s face, Kyle knew exactly where his mind went. 

Brandon’s face had turned thoughtful. “How long do you think this has been going on?”

“What, Rozanov and Hollander?” said Eric. 

“No, the two of you,” Brandon drawled. “Yes, of course those guys. It has to be a while, right?”

“Definitely. That was not a ‘we’re just starting an illicit affair’ kiss,” Kyle informed them. “That was a ‘your body is as familiar to me as my own and I still can’t keep my hands off you’ kiss.”

Eric blinked at him. That was weirdly specific. “What are you, an expert?”

“I prefer ‘connoisseur,’” said Kyle, puffing his chest out a little. 

“Of course you do,” said Eric, rolling his eyes. 

“He’s right, though,” Brandon put in. 

Eric didn’t even have to look at Kyle to see his smug smile. “Don’t tell my boyfriend he’s right. It only goes to his head.”

“I’m always right,” said Kyle. “You should be used to it by now.”

“Don’t laugh,” Eric said, pointing his finger at a sniggering Brandon, even though his own lips were twitching in amusement. “You’ll only encourage him.”

“I mean, if we assume Hollander was the reason Ilya moved to Ottawa in this first place…” Wiebe said.

Eric had guessed that was the reason for Roz’s move to Ottawa when he figured out the two of them were together. It was one of the pieces of the puzzle that made it click into place for him. The whole league had been baffled by the news three years ago. The Admirals chat had tried to guess the reason, and come up with “he’s probably dating a woman in Ottawa” or “maybe he was drunk when he signed the contract.” 

The goalie group chat, on the other hand, threw out some wild theories that really proved how weird goalies could be. They had a bet going on whether Roz had slept with the wrong man’s wife and had to skip the border for his own safety. 

Gilbert Moran had tried to convince everyone that he’d slept with Crowell’s wife, and the commissioner had forced him to go to Ottawa as punishment.

After that, Wyatt suggested that he’d had an affair with the daughter of someone in the Irish mob, sparking a gang war between the Irish mob and the Russian mob. He’d even revived the conversation a few months later when he was planning his own move to Ottawa. 

“It looks like the Italian and the South Asian mafias run the Ottawa underworld. Guys, do you think Rozanov would use his Bratva connections to protect me if something happens?” 

Where Wyatt’s brain went never ceased to amaze Eric.

The truth seemed… crazier than any of them had imagined. Honestly, if anyone had suggested that Hollander and Rozanov were engaged in a secret affair three years ago, Eric would have said Wyatt’s mafia theories were more likely. But it also made a weird kind of sense when you thought about it. 

“So they’ve been keeping this hidden for years. Several years at least,” said Eric. 

“Well he could have given Troy some pointers on how to be discreet,” said Kyle. 

“And ruin our fun?” Wiebe said. Eric had forgotten that signature look of mischievous amusement. 

“Brandon, when you talk to Ilya today, please get an exact timeline,” Kyle said, gleefully.

“Yeah, probably not,” Wiebe said, sobering a little. “I mean, I do have to deliver some pretty bad news. It doesn’t feel like the moment to ask for an in-depth history.”

“Fine. If you want to be like a ‘reasonable person’ and ‘good coach,’ I guess I can’t stop you,” Kyle said with mock annoyance.

“I rarely want to be a reasonable person,” said Brandon, grinning at Kyle. “Sometimes I just have to for the ‘good coach’ bit.”

“You know, I’m contractually obligated to be an Admirals fan but at this point my loyalties are being pulled toward your very queer team,” Kyle said. 

“I think that’s something Crowell doesn’t realize - we’re going to draw new fans in droves. People who never cared about hockey, who didn’t believe hockey was for someone like them, they’re going to flock to support us,” Wiebe mused. 

“After Scotty came out he got a bunch of messages from people who suddenly found they could reconnect with their dads, or whatever, through hockey.”

“Exactly!” Wiebe said.”There are so many queer hockey fans who want to see themselves in their heroes.” 

“I can see the social media campaign now. Ottawa Centaurs: the team where the guys just can’t keep their mouths off each other!” Kyle suggested. 

Eric gave Kyle a look. 

“What? Too soon?” he asked. 

“A little bit,” Brandon said. “And the commissioner would have a brain aneurysm.”

“Win win!” said Kyle. 

Brandon snorted. “Remind me to put you in touch with Harris in a couple of months about it.” 

“The gay apple farmer?!” Kyle asked.

“Yup!”

“I don’t even know what he looks like!” 

“He’s a handsome guy. Hot in a Samwise Gamgee kind of way.”

“Nice! There’s not nearly enough appreciation out there for hobbit hot,” Kyle said. 

“Well Troy certainly seems to appreciate it,” said Brandon. 

“As he should! With gay men in New York it’s all rippling abs all the time and it’s like, yeah, okay, we get it.”

Eric’s brain took a second to catch up with Kyle’s words. “Hey! Wait! What do you mean-!”

“Your abs are very sexy, sweetie, don’t worry,” said Kyle, leaning  over to briefly kiss Eric. “Sorry,” he said to Wiebe, winking at the screen. “I couldn’t resist.”

Brandon shrugged. “Meh. I give it a 2 out of 10 at best.” Brandon ignored Kyle’s outraged gasp as he continued. “Sorry, but not nearly as hot as Hollander and Rozanov.”

Kyle looked at Eric and his stomach dropped at the mischievous gleam in his eye. 

“Kyle…” he warned.

“Our honor has been besmirched,” Kyle said, spinning Eric’s stool and stepping between his legs.

“No, it really hasn’t,” Eric said. But his body still naturally leaned toward Kyle who was moving into his space. 

“It has a little,” said Brandon, amusement lacing his voice.

Kye cupped his jaw. “I have something to prove.”

“Okay Brando,” said Eric. “I think we’re done here.”

“Yes, avert your virgin eyes,” Kyle called over his shoulder. 

Eric ended the call with a still-laughing Brandon as Kyle’s lips met his.

Thirty seconds later Eric’s phone buzzed on the counter.

Wiebe
I love him

Kyle read the text over Eric’s shoulder. “Aw, tell him the feeling is entirely mutual.” Eric ignored the suggestion.

Eric
I should have never let you guys speak. Remind me to keep an international border between both of you at all times.

Wiebe
Don’t lie. You got all soft and mushy when you saw us getting along.

Eric
I’ll deny it to my grave.

Wiebe
Give my love to your better half. 😘

Three Hours Later

Brandon
I told Ilya about Detroit

Wifey
Wow

Brandon
Yeah. I wanted him to know I understood how complicated it is to be involved with another player. 

Wifey
Did it help?

Brandon
Well I’ve never seen anyone so excited to hear someone else was bisexual so I think he appreciated it. 

Wifey
I meant you, babe

Brandon
Oh
Yeah 
It did 
This year has been weird. If you told me six months ago I’d come out to one of my players I’d have called you crazy but now…

Wifey
You think you want to come out? Like to everyone?

Brandon
Maybe. I think I want to talk about it. 
I know it can’t be my decision alone. 

Wifey
Why not? 

Brandon
Because it affects you too. 
And the kids. 
You think I don’t know how much of the blowback will target you? What the kids might hear in school? 
I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you guys. You’re the most important people to me. 

Wifey
Sweetheart, I don’t want you keeping part of yourself hidden on my account.

Brandon
I know you don’t. But I also know it’s not as simple as we’d like it to be.

Wifey 
So we’ll talk about it. We’ll figure out a plan to make it work for all of us.

Brandon
I love you ♥️

Wifey
I love you too. 😘 

Eric spent more time on social media that day than he had in a long time. Between that and the way his group chats were losing their minds, his heart went out to Rozanov and Hollander. He wondered how many people - how many hockey players - had actually reached out to them. He pulled up the text chain he had with both of them. 

Eric
Hey guys. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 
I’m in your corner, if you need anything. 

Chapter End Notes

SugMak: I added a little more on Wyatt’s mafia theory, but only because you had Eric marveling at his brain, and it seemed like a perfectly reasonable place for his brain to go.
DoubleDecker: That’s fine, good add. But you need to know the only reason it sounds reasonable to you is because you have Wyatt brain.
SugMak: Bahahaha. Ask me how I know who runs the Ottawa underworld.
DoubleDecker: Wyatt brain

Chapter 11: Centaurs Interlude Part I: We Ride at Dawn!

Chapter Notes

SugMak wrote this delightful scene of the Centaurs confronting Wiebe for her Assholes Anonymous fic that didn’t end up making the final cut. We’ve repurposed it here (with edits). The original version started with a text chain we found too delicious to delete even though there are no bisexuals in the chain. Unless your headcanon is that Luca is bisexual. Actually, make that your headcanon - Luca counts so the text chain is allowed. (Thank you for your consideration in allowing us to keep things that amuse us in our fics.)

We broke what was going to be just this chapter into two because it got to be waaaaay too long. The good news is that means the next chapter is almost done too! (Hopefully) much less waiting!

FanMail Day, 1PM

Harris
I don’t know if anyone’s checked ESPN in the last hour

Bood
As a rule, I avoid checking ESPN while the baby is sleeping. 

Hazy
As a rule, I avoid checking ESPN ever.

Harris
Okay, well 
I just caught the headline but…
Ilya’s been benched. Apparently he won’t even be traveling with the team to Philly 

Chouinard 
WHAT?!

Dykstra
Because of the Hollander thing?

Barrett
Yeah, probably because of the Hollander thing

Dillon
This is bullshit 

Haas
They can’t do this, can they? 

Bood
Not if we have anything to say about it 

Hazy
Can we, like, strike or something? 

Barrett
For the game? I think that’s just a forfeit.

Bood
We should take it up with Coach first. 

Dykstra
That’s probably a better plan.

Bood
Okay, team. We ride at dawn! 

Hazy
Yes! 

Dillon
But, like. Not actually dawn, right?

Barrett
No Tanner. We’ll be in Philly at dawn. 

Hazy
We could show up in his hotel room at dawn. 

Bood
Maybe we don’t do that. 

Haas
What if we talk to him before we get on the plane?

Bood
Why is the baby more sensible than the grown-ass men?

Haas
I am not a baby. 

Hazy
Haas after he steals your skate guards

Dyskstra
Haas after we won in LA

Dillon
Haas watching Roz score a goal

Harris
Are you all done?

Bood
Haas at his draft

Harris
…

Bood
Now we’re done

Harris
ANYWAY. Wiebe said he’d be taking care of some admin stuff in the office this afternoon.

Dykstra
So, like 2:30? In his office? 

Hazy
Okay team! 
We ride at 2:30! 

…which is how Brandon ended up staring at twenty hockey players crowded into his office, with crossed arms and stoney expressions. The space was definitely not designed to hold an entire hockey team. It was…cozy.

“Fellas,” he said, fighting a smile. He’d come here directly from Ilya’s house intending to call a team meeting before they got on the plane but it seemed that his players beat him to it. 

“Coach,” said Bood. 

“Something on your minds?” He almost lost his straight face when he caught sight of Harris hiding behind Bood, wedged in between Troy and Dykstra. His (cute but failed) attempt at a stern expression didn’t quite compare to the scowling players trying to intimidate their coach.

They all looked to Bood, who opened his mouth and then hesitated. Brandon would lay good money on the odds that they’d only thought as far as “storm the office and confront the coach” and not what they’d actually say when they got here. 

“You can’t bench Roz,” Bood settled on. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“I agree. He hasn’t,” said Brandon. “And I can’t tell you how glad I am that you see it that way.”

That seemed to take some of the wind out of their sails. Their stony faces broke into a mixture of confusion and relief.

Bood uncrossed his arms. “So… he’s not benched?” he asked. 

Brandon sighed. He had really wanted to talk to the team before they heard that Ilya was out of the game from somewhere else. Unfortunately, Roger fucking Crowell decided to leak the news to the press. 

“No. He’s definitely benched for the time being,” he told the team.

There was a low angry murmur. He held up his hand. “I promise you, it wasn’t my decision. This was way above my head.”

Bood frowned in confusion. “The owners?” He’d been on the team long enough to have gotten to know them somewhat and was rightly surprised by that. Brandon wondered if he’d actually read the article or just charged in guns blazing. Then again, he had a newborn. The man was probably running on fumes.

He shook his head. “Hollander is benched too.”

“The commissioner,” said Barrett on an exhale. 

Brandon nodded. 

“What the fuck?” said Dillon. 

“That’s fucked up,” said Chouinard. 

“That’s not right! We should… I dunno,” Wyatt said, looking almost as frustrated as Brandon felt. “Something!”

Brandon let the murmur of outrage grow into a dull roar before holding his hand up again to quiet them. 

“I promise you, I’m the last person who wants to tell you to fall in line with what the commissioner says, but he has the ability to make all of our lives very difficult. I want you to think carefully before you say or do anything publicly that would put you on his radar. He doesn’t like to be defied.” 

He saw Troy nodding in agreement - if anyone in the room understood that sentiment, it was Barrett. Brandon made sure to catch the eye of as many players as he could as he continued. 

“Beyond the fact that anyone getting suspended right before our first playoff appearance in over a decade would piss Roz off, I don’t want any of you to make a powerful enemy who can hurt your careers. And I doubt Ilya would want that for you on his behalf,” Brandon said. He saw reluctant nods and murmurs around the room that he took as agreement. 

“In the meantime I can tell you that I’ve talked to Ilya. He knows he has the full support of me, the owners,” he finally let himself smile at them, “and, from what I gather, the whole team.”

“So… what can we do, then?” asked Dykstra. 

He studied them for a moment. A whole bunch of big, tough hockey guys all riled up in defense of their captain and nowhere to put that energy. He gave himself half a moment to appreciate what they had here, with this team. No one had even hesitated to stand by Rozanov. He knew whatever he said next would be taken seriously.   

“Make sure this is a safe place for him to come back to,” he advised. “A comfortable place for him to be.”

Dykstra nodded seriously. “Of course! You got it, Coach.” He shifted on his feet for a moment. “Uh… any ideas on how we do that?” 

Bood cuffed him upside the head. “We don’t act like weirdos around him, doofus.”

“Like be super nice to him?” Dillon asked, confused.

“Absolutely not,” Harris said. “He said don’t act like weirdos.”

Troy sniggered. 

“Hey, I’m nice!” said Dillon.

“You once told him you hope he stepped on a lego every day for the rest of his life,” said Wyatt.

“He stole my tape!”

“Yeah. That’s still pretty harsh, man.” 

“You’re one to talk. You called him a wealthy himbo mothman when he touched your lucky water bottle.” He frowned. “I mean none of us knew what it meant but it sounded like an insult. “

Wyatt bared his teeth. “Yeah, the fucker said ‘Thank you!’ I need to do better next time.”

“Right. The only person allowed to be nice to him is Luca,” Bood said. “Also, blush and stammer a lot so he knows everything is normal. Got it, kid?” 

Luca blushed. “I don’t…! I mean, I…” 

“Good! Just like that!” Bood clapped him on the shoulder so hard, the kid stumbled into Troy who stumbled into Harris, and then just… held on. Harris grinned and Brandon noticed maybe grabbed Troy’s ass a little. Jeez. In his wildest dreams he never imagined he’d see gay couple openly groping each other in the middle of a room of hockey players. It unlocked one more of the (many many) chains he kept around the secret of his sexuality. He smiled at all of them.    

“I’d probably avoid being total jerks, but Harris is right. If you’re all falling over trying to be nice to him, it’s probably gonna freak him out. He’s already going to be overwhelmed. If giving him crap is your go-to, give him crap. He’s the same guy he was yesterday, treat him that way.” 

There were nods all around the room.  

“One more thing,” Brandon said, this time letting his seriousness shine through. Even though they were all standing here not wanting their captain benched, it didn’t necessarily mean they were okay with him and Hollander. “He’s dating a rival player. It’s possible you might have some feelings about that. But work though those feelings before he gets back. Don’t make your problem his problem. At least not in my locker room,” Brandon said. He looked at Bood, since as the alternate captain he would be backup on this. “If anyone makes this an issue on the ice, I won’t be pleased.”

Bood nodded. So did a bunch of the other players. He noted who wasn’t in the room - and was happy to see the only person missing was one of the older players who had a sick kid at home. He’d track the guy down on the plane. He didn’t want anyone to miss the message. But it was comforting to know that, if someone did have an issue, they’d have the whole team to contend with. 

These guys were the best.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Thank you for stopping by yesterday.
I am happy to know I have your support

Brandon
Of course! 
I’m only sorry it wasn’t with better news

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes. This is not your fault though.
Shane and I will meet with Crowell tomorrow.

Brandon
Oh.
Crap.  
Let me know how that goes, yeah?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
You are not very hopeful?

Shit. Brandon hadn’t meant to make him nervous, but he didn’t think a meeting with Crowell couldn’t mean anything good for Ilya. 

Brandon
No! I’m sure it’ll be
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…
He can’t 

Before Brandon could find the right words, Roz’s next text came through.  

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Maybe he wants to congratulate us on our love!

Brandon snorted. 

Brandon
Yeah, sure. 
I bet he wants to officiate if you two get married. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
🤮

Brandon
I’m sorry. I really do wish I thought he was going to congratulate you. 
Or offer support.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
I know what Crowell is like.
Is fine. 

Brandon
It’s really not fine. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
No.
But Shane and I will be together.
And we will do what we need to do.  
Neither of us wants to sit on the bench. 

Brandon
You guys do what’s best for you.
Don’t worry about us. There will be other playoffs.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
You have not read the articles calling us a “fluke”?

Brandon
They don’t know what they’re talking about
This team is just getting started. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
You are very unusual coach. 
And very confident about a team that hasn’t been to the playoff in… 13 years?

Brandon
Damn right I am.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Good. Me too. 

Brandon
That’s why you’re our Captain. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I thought it was because I have more goals than any Centaur in the last 20 years. 

Brandon
Nah. Anyone can score a goal 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Obviously. Is so easy. This is why no one pays attention to me and Shane. 
All we do is score. Boring.

Brandon
Hey, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate every point you put on the board. 
But it takes more than that to be a captain. 
And you’re the kind of captain who wins cups 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
This is true. 
We will need at least three cups. 
Then I will have more than Shane.
This is very important.

Brandon wished the idiots on the internet saying these guys threw games for each other could see that text. 

Brandon
How are you guys holding up?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Okay.
I am very lucky 
Our team is the best. 

It really fucking was. But Brandon didn’t miss the specificity. 

Brandon
And Shane? How’s he doing?

He watched the dots appear and disappear for a minute.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I think
[Typing]
Theriault is not like you. 

Oof. That spoke volumes. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I am glad you got to meet Anya. 
She was very happy to meet you.

Subject effectively changed. Brandon didn’t need to be a genius to know that Hollander was obviously having a harder time with his team. He knew Theriault a little - he wouldn’t be surprised to know Hollander had had a very different kind of meeting with his coach than Brandon and Ilya had.

Brandon
I was happy to meet her! 
Everyone is in your corner over here but nothing beats having a sweet dog by your side.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
The best dog. 
And, yes. All of you too

Brandon
I see how it is

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
The team is great. But Anya plays catch better than Dillon.
And she gives better cuddles than Bood.

Brandon
Zane will be heartbroken to hear it.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
[picture of Anya]
Look at that face! 

Brandon
She’s a cutie. 
We definitely can’t compete.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
No one can. 
But but I appreciate all of you anyway

Brandon
Good luck with your meeting tomorrow. 
We’re all pulling for you. 
And for Shane.
He might not be my player but please let him know I’m with him, too. 

He watched Ilya’s bouncing dots for a moment before the next text came through.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Thank you. 
Win tonight, yes?

Brandon

Chapter End Notes

DoubleDecker: I went full chaos in the centaurs group chat
SugMak: Oh my God DoubleDecker no
I'm revoking your rights to gifs
DoubleDecker: let me just say, the entire team giving luca a hard time for being a baby while Harris tries to herd cats speaks to my soul
SugMak: YOU ARE CUT OFF

(As you’ll see in the next chapter, DoubleDecker didn’t take this as “you’re cut off” as much as she said "challenge accepted.”)
(SugMak would like it known that she doesn’t hate GIFs, she just thinks they should be used judiciously!)
(DD want you to know 👆that’s true. At least half of the GIFs in the next chapter were SM’s idea.)

We both really want to reply to your comments. But one of us has ADHD (we bet if you’ve been paying attention you can guess who) so she tends to reply in bursts at random intervals. The other one replies at a kind of slow and steady pace but always leaves a few for her ADHD friend to respond to. Her ADHD friend appreciates it, because she wants to talk to you guys… But sometimes it takes a few days. On the back end of that process is a daily text exchange that’s like:
“Hey, want to hit some comments today?”
“Yes! Thanks for reminding me. I’ll get on that after I do x.” *sees something shiny, falls down a rabbit hole, never gets to it*
THE NEXT DAY
“Hey, want to hit some comments today?”...repeat ...forever.
So if YOUR comment doesn’t get a response for a week, it isn’t that we don’t want to talk to you. And it definitely isn’t that we don’t love hearing from you. (We really do!) Please be patient with a poor ADHD writer and her poor nagging friend.

Chapter 12: Centaurs Interlude Part II: The Great Centaur Cheese Debate

Chapter Notes

Ok, here’s the thing about this chapter. It starts with Wiebe/Eric. But then…we went a little off the rails. We intended just to have a few individual texts from some Centaurs showing support. But for Reasons (that didn’t actually come to pass) we decided to play around with a group chat.
Now, you should know we’re really happy with how the post-FanMail chapter with Wiebe and Eric turned out, but it was really hard to get it right… which meant it was kind of frustrating to work on in the end. And as it turns out, Centaurs group chat chaos is, like SO MUCH FUN to write. So we just kept on egging each other on with more Centaurs. Which means that it’s not so bisexual. We intended to end it with our Bi-Triad, but for the second chapter in a row, it just became too long.
It’s coming! We will return to our regularly scheduled program of the bi-trifecta in the next chapter, and WE PROMISE their own chaotic group chat is on the way.
We appreciate your humoring us in our detour. But based on the reactions we saw to the last chapter, we don’t think you’ll mind, even if it doesn’t exactly fit in with the vibe of the rest of the fic.

Day after FanMail

Eric Bennett
How did it go with Rozanov yesterday?

Brandon
That’s a complicated question. 
But, as well as can be expected, given the circumstances. 

Eric Bennett
Did you come out to him?

Brandon
Yeah. 

The next time Brandon was in New York, he was going to sit down with Eric and tell him everything about Detroit. He’d been considering it for awhile now, anyway. Telling Ilya made him realize he actually wanted to talk about it. Especially with Eric, who knew what hockey had been like back then. There were some things only a queer guy who played in the league could understand. But it wasn’t a conversation for text.

Eric Bennett
How did he take it? 

Brandon 
You know, I’ve told several people that I’m bi. 
Some of them have been understanding and accepting, some of them have been total assholes.
But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so excited to hear it. 
He was like “Bisexual! Great! Me too!”

Eric Bennett
Ha. Yeah. He was the same with me when I told him last year. 
But without the “me too” 
Since he was, you know. Not out.

Brandon
Yeah, I got that Benny.

Eric Bennett
I should have realized something was up from how thrilled he was.

Brandon
Seems like he’s been craving people to connect with about it. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, you’re probably right 

Brandon
There’s so many fucking ways being closeted can be bleak.

Eric
Yeah no shit. Hiding part of yourself from everyone you know is fucking lonely.

Brandon
This stays between us, right?
It’s not really something I should be talking about

Eric Bennett
Of course. 

Brandon
There have been times this season when he just seemed so sad. 
And now - imagine having to hide your relationship like that for years. 
It must have been so isolating.  

Eric Bennett
I’m sure it was. 
I wouldn’t go so far as to say they might be relieved they were outed 
But I imagine not having to hide it…
Nevermind, I don’t know what I’m saying. 

Brandon
No, I think you’re right. At least for him. I don’t know about Hollander. 
I get the sense that Montreal isn’t being quite so accepting of their captain as we are of ours. 

***

Barrett
Congrats on bagging Hollander. Guy’s a babe
Also I’m really fucking sorry this happened to you guys

*

Harris
I’m so sorry. 
I’ll hold off until I hear from you about anything we might post but just letting you know I’m thinking of you
❤️🏳️‍🌈🩷💜💙🫂🫶💞🐶🥰🤯💖😻🌟🌈💏🥇⛸️🏒🧑‍🤝‍🧑❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

*

Bood
I’m not accepting any “I have plans” excuses for my next BBQ.
Bring your “plans” with you to eat some jerk chicken. 

*

Dykstra
I don’t know why you hate country. 
Your life is basically a country song - you should love it! 

*

Hazy
I feel like I just found out Magneto and Dr. X have been secretly boinking for decades. 
I always shipped them. 
BTW the kids are talking about forming a posse and going after this Brad guy. 

It felt good to have his teammates blowing up his phone but he didn’t respond to them. Mostly because every time he got another text from a teammate, Shane would look sadly at his own phone. Rose and his parents had been checking in regularly, but nothing from the Voyageurs. Ilya wanted to track J.J. down and kill him with his own hands for leaving Shane like this. Pike had said yesterday that J.J. felt left out. Fine. But look around at the way the world is treating your friend right now and fucking suck it up. It’s not about you.

“You should respond to them,” Shane said. 

“Is not important. Just the group chat talking about where to eat in Philly,” Ilya half-lied. 

“Seriously, respond,” Shane said. 

He hadn’t been totally lying. The group chat was exploding with heated debates about cheesesteaks.

*

Dillon
But you’ve gotta try it with cheese whiz

Hazy
Yes! Whiz wit!

Barrett
Huh?

Hazy
It’s a thing.

Barrett
If you say so.

Chouinard
I am not eating cheese from a can, you heathens. 
And I can’t believe Bood is going along with it

Bood
It’s tradition! Classic Philly cheesesteaks are made with cheese whiz

Dillion
It’s good. Trust us.

LaPointe
I do not trust you

Hazy
Respect the Whiz. 
It was here before you were and it’ll be here long after you’re gone.

Chouinard
Yeah. Because it’ll kill you. 
They'll cut you open and find mysterious orange goo inside.  

Hazy
Sacrifices must be made.  
All hail the great and powerful Whiz of Cheese.

Dillon
You made it weird

LaPointe
There’s nothing wrong with a good Provolone

Young
Man you guys are way too intense about this. I’m not picky. I just want a cheesesteak

Boyle
I just want you to leave off the hots if I’m going to be sharing a room with you tonight. 

Chouinard
Oh but spray cheese is gonna be just fine?

Holmburg
The disrespect! 
A real Philly cheesesteak has cheese whiz on it

Haas
A real cheese does not come out of a spray can

Bood 
Ooooohhh Haasy’s letting the claws out

Haas
It probably tastes like wax. Like those chocolate bars Boyle gave out on Halloween

Boyle
NESTLE IS A SACRED HALLOWEEN CANDY 

Haas
Stupid American wax food

LaPointe
Babybel is more like wax cheese

Haas
Do not talk to me about Babybel. 
“Oh, cute little cheese snack,” they told me.
I am still washing the taste out of my mouth.
😠

Boyle
Did you take the wax casing off?

Haas
Yes, I fucking took the wax casing off. What kind of cheese would be fucking bright red you insane person. 

Bood
What monster has possessed our sweet polite Luca?

Barrett
Babybel is a good, high protein snack

Haas
You know what’s a better high protein snack?
Anything else

Hazy
Anything like… Cheese Whiz?

Haas
🤬

*

Ilya snorted. 

“I’m glad they’re trying to be supportive,” said Shane, sounding like he really meant it, even as he fiddled with his silent phone.

“They’re arguing with each other about cheese, moya lyubov.”

“Really?” Shane asked. Ilya turned his phone so Shane could read it. 

Shane gave a small huff. “We have the same text chain every time we’re in Philly, too.”

“Hockey players are very boring,” Ilya said. 

“They’re keeping you included,” Shane reminded him softly. 

Ilya wished he could say that they probably just forgot he was in there but he knew it wasn’t true as much as he knew it wasn’t an accident that Shane’s team chat had gone silent. 

*

LaPointe
Whiz is more like - chemical cheese.

Haas
That is worse.

Bood
Whiz is tradition, Haas. You have to try it at least once

Haas
Is this hazing?
This feels like hazing 
Or a prank.

Chouinard
It is unfortunately not a prank. These dumb Anglos and their weird chemical cheese

Hazy
Delicious, delicious chemical cheese

Dillon
It’s not weird
It’s a DELICACY
Where’s your cultural sensitivity?

Chouinard 
Must have lost it the same place you lost your fucking tastebuds.

Barrett
Okay, but maybe we can figure out where the fuck we’re going to eat instead of what you’ll order when we get there? We do actually have to play a game in a few hours. 

*

“I still think you should respond to them,” said Shane. 

Ilya raised his brows. “You want me to butt in to the Great Centaurs Cheese Debate?”

“No, but I know you’ve gotten individual texts too,” he said.

“I will. Later,” Ilya said.

Shane’s quiet phone wasn’t the only reason he hadn’t responded to the texts. 

As much as he wished to scream from the rooftops about how much he loved Shane, they had been hiding for so long, he didn’t know how. His teammates were acting normal. That meant more to him than they would ever know. But he had no normal way to talk to them about this. His life had been divided in two for years. Even though he’d been almost desperate for both parts to meet, he needed to explain what Shane meant to him before he could talk to them about this in his normal way. 

“Why wait?”

“I want to see if they pick Geno’s or Pat’s first.”

Shane snorted. “You’re ridiculous. And why don’t they know better than to go to those tourist traps?”

“Because I am not there to guide them. Fucking Crowell,” Ilya grumbled. Shane made noises of agreement. 

*

Bood
Okay, so the two big names are Geno’s and Pat’s.
It’s some real West Side Story shit. 
We’ve got to choose a side though

Hazy
He’s not wrong. They’re like RIVALS
Bitter, longstanding rivals
[Link: “Geno’s and Pat’s: The History of a Rivalry]
[Link: “What’s the deal with Geno’s and Pat’s?”]
[Link: “The Real Philly Cheesesteak: Geno’s or Pat’s?”]

Barrett
Why do you have three articles about this at your fingertips?

Hazy
I went down a rabbit hole.
And I like a good rivalry

Bood
And this one is intense
Like Hollander and Roz level shit 

Young
So Geno and Pat are secretly banging?

Bood
Dude.

Barrett
Dude 

Hazy

Chouinard
Dude

Holmberg
Dude

Dykstra
DUDE

Dillon

LaPointe
My DUDE

Boyle
Duuuuuuude

Haas
Dude.

Young
Too soon?

Ilya
No

Ilya grinned as he watched as several text dots started bouncing at once. 

Dykstra
WHAT THE FUCK

LaPointe
Mon Capitaine!

Boyle
Cap!!!

Holmberg 
Captain!Captain!Captain!

Holmberg
Did you hear about our posse idea????

Young
Yeah, make sure you have an alibi when we get back from Philly

LaPointe 
Oh my god. Don’t put that kind of thing in writing, idiot.

Holmberg

Bood
I see how it is. 
You ignore us all day and you answer that?!

Ilya
I have nothing to add to your fake cheese debate. 
And I do not care which tourist trap you have the bad taste to eat at.

Hazy
You’ve 
Ignored 
Everyone 
All 
Fucking
Day

Ilya
Did you text me?
Why? Did something happen?

Hazy

Bood
Oh, nothing. 
Just our heartless captain ignoring our attempts to reach out and check in 

Ilya
So dramatic, Bood.
I will answer. 
Please do not offer to “jerk” my “plan’s” chicken
Is rude.

Bood
Oh fuck off, Roz

Ilya
Kids. A posse is a terrible idea. 
Leave these things to the Bratva.

Hazy
I KNEW IT!

Ilya
Dykstra, my life is nothing like a country song.  
No one has left me. Or stolen my money, my car, or my dog
She is safe, here with me
[Image of Ilya and Anya]

Dykstra 
Okay but I bet you’re…
🎶somewhere drinkin’ something strong🎶

Bood
Boooo

Dillon
Booo

Barrett
Booo!

Ilya
NO. stop. The end. Goodbye

Dykstra
I’m so unappreciated

Ilya
But I did not realize Haas knew such language. 

Boyle
Omg Cap I can see his blush from over here

Haas
Sorry, Ilya. 

Ilya
No! I am proud!

Bood
They grow up so fast

Hazy

*

Shane’s phone dinged. Ilya watched his face light up with hope and then drop again. 

“Hayden,” Shane said. “He keeps asking if there’s anything he can do to help.”

Ilya pocketed his own phone. His team didn’t need him as much as his boyfriend did. 

“Let’s take Anya for a walk,” Ilya suggested. 

“What, outside?” Shane said, panicked. 

“Yes. Outside. Together. With Anya,” Ilya said. He watched as Shane realized they could do this now. It was, how did they say, the cat was out of the bag. Shane smiled. 

“Yeah, ok. Let’s go for a walk,” Shane said, holding out his hand. Ilya took it. He felt like a teenager by how excited he was to hold his boyfriend’s hand. Going outside! In public! 

Shane went to put his phone in his pocket but Ilya had a better idea. 

“Let’s leave our phones here. Nothing will be an emergency for half an hour,” he suggested. 

*

Young
Oh my god I didn’t even think about their babies

LaPointe
What?

Young
Hazy made me think of their babies. 

Hazy
Who’s babies? I was talking about Haasy.

Chouinard 
Did you hit your head or something?

Young
Roz and Hollander’s

Dykstra
Oh my god, kid

Young
But no, like…
Imagine their kids

Holmberg 
What part of “be cool” did you not understand?
Why are you like this?

Young
But those genes! 
They wouldn’t just be hockey prodigies 
They’d be like… 
Hockey gods

Barrett
Ummm

Bood
Young. 
Seriously?

Young
What?

Bood
That’s not how it works.
You know that’s not how it works, right?
It’s important to me that you know that

Dillon
Weren’t we going to play it cool unless Roz brought it up?

Bood
That’s not my primary concern right now
Young. Please tell me you know how babies are made. 

Barrett
Hey, sorry Roz. 
No pressure to talk about anything

Chouinard
Or to commit to having children

Barrett
Right. Young just got a little excited. And confused.

Hazy
Roz?

Barrett
Ilya?

Haas
Captain?

Bood
Aaaaand he’s gone. 

Barrett
We need to get this part of the chat off the screen. 

Bood
No, first we need to get Young some fucking anatomy books

Young
I know how babies are made! 

Barrett
Do you, though?

Bood
THEN we need to get this chat off the screen
@Hazy

Hazy

Bood
Weren’t you telling me the other day about how… infinite earths…?

Hazy
Oh you mean how Crisis on Infinite Earths changed comic book history? 

Bood
Probably.

Hazy
So by the 1980s the DC universe had such a complicated web of continuity that some storylines were functionally impossible to follow.

Barrett
Please. Tell us more. 

Hazy
I’m SO GLAD you asked…

When they got back from their walk, Ilya picked up his phone and saw 137 unread messages in the team chat. He started to scroll up but it turned out that Hazy had gone on some comic book tangent. No fucking thank you. 

He also had a text in the group chat he had with the kids that was just a picture of Haas holding a cheesesteak with one bite taken out, mouth obviously full, glaring at Holmberg, who was laughing. He decided to ignore it. He loved the rookies, but he didn’t really want to get into a whole thing with them right now. They needed to be focused on the game anyway. 

“Wyatt texted me,” Shane said, when he checked his own phone. “Weren’t Magneto and Dr. X friends who became enemies? Aren’t we like the opposite of that?”

“I will give you $100 and a blow job to say that to him,” Ilya said, grinning. He watched Shane smile while he typed. Sure, this would get Hazy blathering on, but he’d suffer a lot worse than Hazy’s comic book ramblings if it meant Shane could connect with a hockey player who wasn’t a piece of shit.  

Hazy to Shane and Ilya
Okay, good point, Hollander.
It’s more like… 
DC and Marvel have secretly been the same universe all along. 

Shane
Aren’t they both part of the comic book universe?

Hazy
I did not just read that with my own two eyes

Ilya 

Hazy
Comic. Book. Universe.
🤦

Shane
What, is that wrong?

Ilya

“Are you messing with him?” Ilya asked. Shane gave a mischievous smile.

“Maybe a little.”

Hazy
Ignoring you. 

Shane
Sorry Wyatt. I can never keep them all straight so I stopped trying. 

Ilya
Yes. Is not the only thing Shane could not keep straight.

Shane
🙄

Hazy
Are you guys really just like this?

Shane
Yeah. Sort of.

Ilya 
Pretty much

They had sent the texts at the same time and smiled warmly at each other when they went through. 

Hazy
I WILL come up with a comic book analogy that makes sense to you. 

“I forget what he’s like sometimes,” Shane said. 

“A nerd?” Ilya asked. “Sit next to him on a plane for five hours. You’d never forget again.” 

“It’s refreshing. That he’s acting normal.” Shane said. 

“Nothing about Hazy is normal. He is weird - even for a goalie,” Ilya said. 

Shane gave a small smile. “You know what I mean.”

“Yes,” Ilya said. “It is.” 

Hazy
Ok, I got it! 
I feel like I just found out that Batman and Superman were having an affair.
Which would be cool! 
I’ve always liked both

Ilya
You’ve always liked both?
Are you trying to tell us something, Hazy?

Hazy
That I… like super heroes? Which you know?  

Ilya
…

Hazy
Oh fuck off, Roz

Shane 
I’m Superman in this scenario, right? 

Hazy
Oh, you’re totally Superman.

Ilya
Superman is bottom, yes? Because of his supersperm killing people?

“What the fuck?” Shane spluttered. He looked like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or stab Ilya. 

“Don’t worry. He won’t notice,” Ilya assured him. 

Hazy
You read that thread!!!!!
I told you it was interesting!

Ilya 
It was not

Hazy
🤥

Ilya
Don’t you need to go stop some goals or something?

Hazy
Yes! 
We’re winning this one for you! 

Ilya
You should win for Shane

Shane
You should lose for me. 

Hazy
Nah. 
I love you man but…

Chapter End Notes

Our canon-compliance coordinator would like it noted that while Ilya tells Shane that Troy, Harris, and Wyatt texted him the day of the FanMail, he doesn’t say whether or not he texted them back. We decided to go with not, obviously.

DoubleDecker: Do you think we have Harris using enough emojis?
SugMak: Really?

DoubleDecker: [Asks a question about whether Shane would know MCU from DC]
SugMak: [Writes a Wyatt-worthy rant]
DoubleDecker: Yeah, I took Ilya’s “No fucking thank you” path to reading this.
[TL:DR: Yes, Shane watches a lot of movies. No, you don’t want to hear SugMak’s explanation for why he doesn’t know the difference between DC and Marvel. Trust us.]

*We are aware of the discourse and issues around digital blackface. But we don’t think Holmberg would be. He’s probably one of those people who was shocked to learn Idris Elba wasn’t from Baltimore.

Chapter 13: Bisexual Solidarity

Chapter Notes

Neither of us know all that much about hockey so take our “analytic insights” with a grain of salt.

As of this chapter, you will have seen all of them text each other from each phone so here is the guide for how they’re all saved in each other’s phones so you can follow along with who is texting whom and who is on the receiving end of the texts:

Wiebe’s Phone: Eric Bennett, Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Ilya’s Phone: Bennett, Coach Wiebe
Bennett’s Phone: Wiebe, Fucking Rozanov

We didn’t give this to you at the start because we didn’t want to spoil the joke of Fucking Rozanov. And then we had to wait until Wiebe and Ilya texted from both sides.

Night after FanMail

“I can’t believe they’re eating cheesesteaks before the game,” said Shane, shaking his head as they turned on the TV, letting the pregame show play in the background. 

Ilya shrugged. “Protein, fat, carbs. Everything you need to fuel a high energy game.”

“One of those kids is gonna puke,” Shane muttered. 

Ilya shook his head. He’d seen them put away stuff that was gross even by his standard and then do bag skates like it was nothing. Fucking twenty-year-olds. 

Even so… 

Ilya
Warm up with some cardio. The team just had cheesesteaks

Coach Wiebe
We got this, captain. You can relax. 
Do you know where they went?

Ilya
They had a big debate over Pats or Genos but I stopped paying attention

Coach Wiebe
Figures. The coaching staff were debating  over Jim’s or Jim's

Ilya
Please do not tell Hazy about the two Jim’s

They settled onto the couch to watch the game. Ilya loved watching hockey with Shane but he hardly ever got to do it. They usually didn’t like to waste the rare nights they had together watching another team. Shane was scrolling through his phone, his head rested on Ilya’s shoulder.

“Oh, I forgot Eric texted us. We should respond, right?” Shane said. 

Ilya pulled the chain back up while Shane typed. They had done this with a few people who had reached out to them together. They made sure they both responded to whoever it was. 

Bennett
Hey guys. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 
I’m in your corner, if you need anything. 

Shane
Thanks Eric. We appreciate that.

Ilya
You could release your sex tape 
This might draw attention away from us. 

Shane snorted. “You’re the worst,” he said, amused.

“You love it.”

Shane rolled his eyes, smiling. Ilya was glad to see how relaxed he was. 

Bennett
I don’t have a sex tape

Ilya
Make one. Then release it

Bennett
I was thinking more like a tweet of support. 

Ilya
Boring. Put Kyle on. 

Shane had lifted his head and was smiling at Ilya. 

“What?”

“I love you,” Shane said. Ilya grinned. 

“I love you, too,” he said. 

“And now people know it,” Shane said, but it wasn’t with the anxiety he’d had about it for…ever. It was more like he was marveling at it. 

“Yes,” Ilya said. He watched Shane turning it over in his head. 

“Eric isn’t acting weird about it. Or Wyatt,” he said.

“They’re not.” Ilya hesitated, but it needed to be said. “Some people are still going to be weird.”

“I know. But there are going to be people who aren’t. People we can be us with.”

“Yes,” Ilya agreed. “There are,” 

Both of their phones buzzed. 

Bennett
Haas is looking good at center. 

Shane settled back on Ilya’s shoulder. “Our lives can be like this,” he said, almost to himself, turning back to the game, and his phone. Ilya bit back a smile at the fact that Shane’s ideal normal night was sitting together, talking about a hockey game with an ancient retired goalie. What a dork. He loved him so fucking much.

Shane
I’m terrified by his upside.

It was true. One of the things that made Haas so valuable was that he could play center or wing. They watched him win the faceoff and pass over to Troy and dodge a defender to get open just as Troy passed it back. Ilya felt a glow of pride in his chest.

Bennett
Roz, you might lose your job. 

Ilya
Who do you think taught them that move? 
I think I am safe

*

Ilya to Coach Wiebe
Haas could be a solution to the depth we need at center. 

Eric to Wiebe
You should think about Haas in center more often.

*

Bennett
Awful cocky of you

Ilya
Is it cocky if it’s true? 

Shane
It’s definitely still cocky if it’s true. 

Ilya kicked him lightly.

Shane
But it’s also very true. 

Bennett
Your endorsement means nothing. You’re biased. 

Ilya
Yes, famously Hollander never criticizes me and thinks I’m the best hockey player in the league.

Bennett
You’re still not on a first name basis?

Ilya
It depends

Bennett
On what?

Ilya
😈

Shane slapped his arm, “Stop.”

“I thought you wanted people to see us.”

“That isn’t what I meant and you know it.”

They winced together as Haas got slammed against the boards hard enough to rattle the plexiglass, the puck slipping away from it only to be scooped up by Barrett. 

“FOUL!” cried Ilya. 

“It wasn’t a foul,” said Shane

Ilya
THAT WAS A FOUL

Bennett
It was clean

Ilya
It was NOT!

Shane
Ilya’s a little overprotective of his rookie

Ilya
It was a foul

Bennett
It really wasn’t.

*

Ilya to Coach Wiebe
That was a foul on Haas. Next time, ask for review.

*

Shane snorted when he saw what Ilya was texting. As if Ilya was being unreasonable or something. He was still annoyed (not pouting, Shane) five minutes later, when Barrett drew a penalty and the powerplay line came out. Ilya frowned at the screen. LaPointe seemed like a weird choice to replace Ilya there. 

*

Ilya to Coach Wiebe
Anya is skeptical of your powerplay lineup
I told her not to question you 

Eric to Wiebe
That powerplay lineup looks good. 
Creative adjustment without Roz.

*

Ilya watched as LaPointe found Haas who snuck a tricky pass through Philly’s defenders to find Bood’s stick. Bood slipped the puck right between the goalie’s skate and hand. It was beautiful. 

“Nice,” Shane said. 

*

Ilya to Coach Wiebe
Anya is very sorry for doubting you
That was excellent. 

*

“They’re looking good, no?” Ilya asked. He knew the team didn’t need him to win one game but he was relieved they were up by two goals already. 

Shane hummed in agreement, his focus locked onto the screen. “Very good. They’ve come a long way this season,” he said.

“Yes, is good you see. I am greatest captain who ever lived,” Ilya agreed. Shane rolled his eyes.  

“They’re still keeping too many passing lanes open, Mr. ‘Greatest Captain,’” said Shane. 

“What does it matter? Philly can’t hold onto the puck for longer than five seconds.”

“That’s how mistakes get-”

Shane snapped his mouth shut as Dykstra pulled into Philly’s passing lane out of nowhere to steal the puck. 

Bennett
That was lucky 

Ilya
That was skill

Shane
It was luck

Ilya
Skill

Bennett
You’re so full of shit and you know it

Ilya 
Where is your bisexual solidarity, old man?

Bennett
I call ‘em like I see ‘em, kid

Ilya was just as happy as Shane to have someone else see them. This is what he wanted when he invited Shane to Bood’s BBQ on Christmas. It was the reason he had suggested they go out with Ryan and Fabian over the summer. As much as he hated how coming out was taken out of their hands, this he didn’t hate.  It was amazing to be able to relax and be who they were as a couple while talking to Bennett. A few months ago he had flirted with Shane in this same group chat. It had felt great in the moment, but it had freaked Shane out. 

Now. 

Now it just felt good. 

*

Ilya to Coach Wiebe
We need to be better about closing the passing lanes.

Eric to Wiebe
Your guys are leaving the passing lane open on the left side.

*

At the end of the first period, the sideline reporter stopped Luca on his way to the dressing room. 

“Great period, Luca. How does it feel to step into Rozanov’s skates, centering the first line,” the reporter asked. 

“Bood and Barrett are great to skate with. They make it easy to find the open pass and get the puck to the right spot,” Haas said, with his usual humility. 

“Are you hoping to play more of that position on the first line?”

Luca blinked in confusion. “I don’t… what?”

“You were looking like you could take Rozanov’s job if he isn’t back playing soon,” the reporter said with a bit of a mean gleam in his eye. Ilya noted the malice and decided he would deal with that when he got back. Even if how he dealt with it made Harris and the rest of the PR team lose their minds. Haasy almost physically recoiled, looking horrified by the thought. He opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish. Bood came in from behind him.

“Roz is going to be back before you know it, leading us into the playoffs. We’re winning this one for him tonight, and we can’t wait to have him right where he belongs, centering our front line. Haasy’s doing an awesome job filling in and we’re lucky to have him. This kid is our future, right here. Thanks,” Bood steered Haas toward the dressing room before the reporter could get another question out. 

Bennett
Haas looked like he was about to explode.
Poor kid.

Shane
Good of Bood to rescue him

Ilya
Shouldn’t have needed rescuing
Shitty fucking reporter putting him in that position. 

Bennett
Yeah but it’s sweet. 
Your rookie is just as protective of you as you are of him.

Ilya had no idea what his face did in reaction to that but whatever it was, Shane smiled softly in response. “They love you.”

Ilya squeezed his hand.

“I am very lovable.”

“Your cockiness is rubbing off on the whole team. What happens if they lose?”

“They cannot! You heard them. Is for me!”

Shane shook his head. “Your team is…”

“The best,” said Ilya, quietly.

Bennett
You’ve got a good team there, Rozanov.
I hope you both realize there’s a lot more support out there for you than Crowell thinks.

*

Ilya to Haas
You are looking great out there. 
Keep it up. 

Ilya to Coach Wiebe
Can we ban that reporter?

Eric heard the front door open and Kyle pounding up the stairs more aggressively than usual. When he walked in the room his eyes zeroed in on Eric sitting in front of the TV.

“I knew I heard game commentary. Are you watching hockey alone?” he asked, looking worried. 

Oh. Eric had kind of forgotten about their deal when he turned the TV on to see how Brando was going to manage the game without one of his key players. When Roz and Shane texted him, it was natural to fall into talking to them about it. He’d actually been having fun shooting the shit while they all watched. 

“I’m ok,” he assured Kyle.

His attention snapped to the screen as Wyatt made a truly spectacular save. He’d be lying if he wasn’t just a little bit jealous of that move. 

“Are you sure?” Kyle asked, still plainly worried. 

“Yeah. I wasn’t really alone.” He held up his phone. “I was texting with Roz and Hollander through the whole game. I thought they could use a little normal.” 

Kyle let out a breath and sat down next to Eric.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. It’s all anyone was talking about at the bar tonight,” Kyle said. “How are they?”

On cue Eric’s phone buzzed in his hands.

Fucking Rozanov
In your whole career you never made a save that nice. 

He scoffed. “Well Roz is being his usual, annoying self. I don’t know how Hollander puts up with him.”

Kyle leaned over his shoulder while Eric pulled up YouTube to find what he knew would piss Roz off the most. 

Eric
[Video Link: Eric Bennett shuts down Ilya Rozanov - Reel]

Hollander
[Video Link: Shane Hollander skates circles around Ilya Rozanov - Reel]

Fucking Rozanov
[Video Link: Ilya Rozanov’s Top Ten Goals against the Admirals - Reel]

Hollander
Half of those are against Eric’s backups

Fucking Rozanov
[Article Link: “Ilya Rozanov Retakes Lead in Career Goals Contest against Shane Hollander”]

Eric
That article is three years old. 

Fucking Rozanov
We’ve been rebuilding, Bennett.
Come the fuck on! Bisexual solidarity! 

Eric snorted. Bisexual solidarity his ass, he just wanted to get one over on Hollander.

“He’s got you there,” Kyle said.

“He’s said that every time he’s lost an argument tonight,” Eric told Kyle. He could feel the smile on his face. 

“You love it.” 

“If you tell him, we’re done,” Eric warned. 

But Kyle was right. Eric wanted to be annoyed by it, but he also loved that they could joke like this. 

Eric
Have I or have I not been giving you tips you could use in the playoffs against the Admirals?

Hollander
That’s nice of you, Eric, but they’re not going to make it to that stage of the playoffs

Kyle smiled and kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna go wash the bar off me, you have fun.”

“Ok. There are only two minutes left in the game. I’ll be up in a few,” Eric said. 

Brandon pulled out his phone after the third period ended. He had 24 messages from Roz and, weirdly, about 15 from Benny. Concerned, he opened his text chain with Eric first. It all seemed to be Benny’s thoughts on the game. Almost like he was… live texting his reactions?

He flipped over to Ilya’s messages to see… more commentary on his coaching - most of them from the same points in the game as Benny. 

Brandon
Were you chatting with Ilya during the game?

Eric Bennett
Yeah, how did you know?

Brandon

Eric Bennett
I was talking to him and Hollander. 

Brandon
You guys are a bad influence on each other. I haven’t had so many backseat coaching texts all season.

Eric Bennett
Sorry. I got a little wrapped up in it. 

Brandon
It’s fine. I always appreciate your insights. 
How are they doing?

Eric Bennett
They seem to be ok.
Fair warning - Roz kept giving me a hard time for not having “bisexual solidarity.” I think it’s his new catch phrase. 

Brandon
Consider me warned.
But also… I kind of love that. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, me too.
It was fun to see how they interact when they’re not trying to hide.
They give each other just as much shit as they always have.
The line between being competitive and flirting seems… nonexistent.

Brandon 
That explains a lot about their epic rivalry.
I’m glad to hear they’re holding up.
They have to meet with fucking Crowell tomorrow. 

Eric Bennett
Fuck

Brandon
Yup

The Next Day

Ilya 
I will be back at practice tomorrow

Coach Wiebe
I’ll be glad to have you back. If only so I don’t have 800 unread texts from you after the next game.
How was the meeting?

Ilya
Crowell is not happy. 
He did not expect us to tell him to go fuck himself. 

Coach Wiebe
Ilya. 
Please 
Please tell me you did not tell the commissioner to go fuck himself.

Ilya
I did nothing. 😇  

Coach Wiebe
I’m not sure I want to know.

Ilya
😁

Chapter End Notes

Sorry we don’t have any funny author notes about this one. Most of it was written when we thought it was going to be part of the last chapter and we didn’t have any fights, rabbit holes, or other sundry chaos while writing it. Unfortunately for you, we’ve developed lame things like “healthy mechanisms” for avoiding or easing conflict as we write. We haven’t almost broken up over the placement of a single conjunction in CHAPTERS.
What’s the opposite of a couples counselor? We’re operating too smoothly. Maybe we need to get the chaos back. We’re terribly disappointed with ourselves.
Oh, but hey, did you know that we originally thought this fic was going to be four chapters? HAHAHAHAHA.

Chapter 14: Ducks Fly Together

Chapter Notes

We didn’t originally think we would talk about the tripping incident because DoubleDecker finds it “too upsetting.” (SugMak eats that shit up like candy.) But then it seemed weird to do outsider POV for everything except this so here we are.

May 2021

Once the fasten seat belt sign turned off, Brandon got up to stretch his legs and soak in the celebration. He was so fucking proud of these guys - not only did they make it to the playoffs but they knocked out the top seed in the division! Obviously the whole circus around Hollander and Roz could have been a huge distraction but his guys put their heads down and played their hearts out - and it paid off. 

Most of the players were leaning over their seats or standing in the aisles, chattering excitedly. Weirdly, Roz was sitting alone in the back, looking withdrawn, with his jaw tense, scrolling through his phone. Brandon could understand Ilya’s feelings about the win might be a little complicated but he’d never not celebrated beating the Voyageurs before. In fact, Ilya seemed to enjoy those wins most of all. Brandon made his way over and sat down in the empty seat next to him. Before he could ask what was bothering him, Ilya started ranting. 

“Have you seen this bullshit?” he asked, fuming. He was gesturing too furiously with his phone for Brandon to see what he was looking at, but he could guess. 

“Game coverage?” he asked mildly.

Roz glared at his phone like it had personally wronged him. “They are saying Shane tripped on purpose! Like I need my boyfriend to cheat to beat him!”

Brandon almost snorted at how Roz managed to make it about him, but he didn’t think his captain would appreciate it. He was obviously furious about how the media was treating Hollander. 

Ilya took a deep breath and Brandon realized - he wasn’t just furious. There was hurt there too. Brandon could only imagine how he would feel if he had to watch his wife’s name dragged through the mud just because she loved him. He pushed aside the corner of his brain that worried that would happen if he came out. 

“He doesn’t deserve this,” Ilya said, more quietly. 

“It’s not fair to either of you,” Brandon agreed. 

There was something that had been bugging Brandon since Ilya had been outed. There was no scenario in which the press wasn’t going to be brutal about their relationship and their game. He hadn’t wanted to pry about it before, but at this point… 

“Ilya, you can tell me it’s none of my business but did you plan on staying hidden for your whole career?”

“Originally, yes.” Ilya clearly went somewhere else in his mind as a smile broke over his face. “But in January we changed our minds. We were going to announce it this summer, after the season.”

Brandon nodded. He figured January meant after the plane. That made a lot of sense. 

“I’m asking because - obviously Hollander tripping tonight amplifies all this,” he said, gesturing to the phone. “But, I have to think, even if you came out on your own terms, the media was always going to dissect every single game, moment, and play for the rest of your careers. Did you think about how you guys were going to handle that?”

“Not really. I don’t give a shit what the press says. I never have,” Ilya said. 

“What about Shane?” Brandon asked. Ilya sighed. Brandon suspected that sigh meant that Hollander wasn’t going to be able to let the chatter roll off his back. Watching someone you loved get hurt like that was never easy. 

Brandon had known lots of players like Hollander in his life - hyperfocused on being the best, setting unrealistic expectations for themselves, judging themselves against what the outside world thought about them. It was a recipe for disaster every time. 

“He’s having a harder time with it?” Brandon guessed.

Ilya looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to their conversation and then said quietly, “Is not just the press. His teammates also think he tripped on purpose.”

Brandon sucked in a breath. Hollander so obviously gave everything he had to his team. He must be devastated. 

“How could they-” he cut himself off. He wanted to rant about how stupid and infuriating that was but, as a rule, he tried to be a bit more even tempered as a coach. Besides - he knew the answer to his own question.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You let him know nobody on our side thinks that, yeah?” he said, more calmly. 

Ilya nodded. “Thanks Coach. I think… he will be happy to know that.”

The pilot announced they were getting ready to land - it really was the kind of flight where if you blinked you missed it. Brandon patted Ilya on the leg and headed back to his seat. He decided he wasn’t going to look at any social media or sports news for the next couple of days. The underlying homophobia of the analysis about this would only piss him off and he really needed to focus on how to beat the Admirals. 

Eric Bennett
Congrats! You should be so proud of yourself. 

Brandon
I’m proud of the guys.

Eric Bennett
And?

Brandon
And, I’m proud of myself, too. 

Eric Bennett
Good. 
The team must be going wild. First playoffs, huge upset

Brandon
Yeah - the plane was LOUD.
Well… most of the plane was loud.
Roz was unusually subdued

Eric Bennett
Gotta be weird for him.

Brandon
Normally he’d be the leading the celebration. Especially for a game against Montreal
But this time…

Brandon held his tongue when he was talking to Ilya (mostly), but he could unleash his frustration with Benny. He had totally intended to not look at what the media was saying but his car radio was already tuned to the sports talk shows. He made the mistake of not immediately turning it off during his drive home.  

Brandon
Did you hear the garbage people are saying about Hollander?
All this bullshit about him tripping on purpose was bad enough but now they’re talking like the two of them had an elaborate flow chart about who was allowed to win which games and that they’ve been fixing matches for years. 

Eric Bennett
Don’t get me started. ESPN was talking about someone suing them over sports betting.

Brandon
Seriously? WTF

Eric Bennett
They said “if they’re sucking each others’ dicks it’s a conflict of interest that anyone laying down money on the game was entitled to know.”

Brandon
Please tell me you’re paraphrasing

Eric Bennett
Not as much as I wish I was. 
And then they cut to the CEO of DraftKings saying there seemed to be grounds for the legal case against them.
That’s when Kyle took the remote. Something about how “Hulk Smash isn’t sexy when it’s aimed at the TV”
Whatever that means. 

Brandon
DraftKings is predatory as fuck. Of course the CEO is going to jump at the chance to shift the blame for ruining people’s lives onto someone else. 
What a monumental fuckhead

Eric Bennett
You see why I wanted to smash my TV.

Brandon
Why isn’t it never a conflict of interest when brothers or cousins play against each other but suddenly it is when a couple does?

Eric Bennett
I think you know the answer to that question.

Brandon
😡
Of course

Eric Bennett
I’m with you. 
But also. 
Brando.
You fucking beat the top ranked team in the league. 

Brandon
You’re right. We fucking did. 

Eric Bennett
Don’t let all this bullshit drag you down. You should be celebrating. 

Brandon
Queerest team in the league kicking a bunch of homophobic ass
Onto the next!

Eric Bennett
I know you didn’t just call the Admirals Dark Forces.

Brandon
For the next 4-7 games? Sorry Benny, but they’re the Sith and Hunter is the Emperor
After that I’ll go back to appreciating what he’s done for queer hockey players

Eric Bennett
Nerd.  

Brandon
Like you didn’t love those movies 

Eric Bennett
I only watched them because you forced me to. 

Brandon
And you LOVED THEM! We wore those tapes out that summer. 

Eric Bennett
Fine. I liked your nerdy movies. Happy?

Brandon
Thrilled.

Eric Bennett
Listen, I know you probably need to stay focused while you’re here but Kyle made me promise to ask if you wanted to have dinner one night. 

Brandon
I’d love that
I have to eat at some point, right?
And maybe I can pick your brain on the Admirals weaknesses 😜

“I’m glad you weren’t playing distracted,” Shane said to Ilya over the phone as Ilya paced the hallway outside of the locker room. He knew he could have taken this call in front of his teammate now, but old habits from years of hiding died hard. Besides, as much as he appreciated the playful ribbing he knew he’d get from the team, he liked having Shane all to himself on the phone. “Andersson was just on fire. Think Eric has been giving him pointers?”

“If so, this is terrible betrayal,” Ilya grumped. “Does solidarity mean nothing anymore?”

He could practically hear Shane roll his eyes.

The noise in the locker room started to get louder behind the door. “I have to get back to the team. You will send pictures of Anya? ”

“Only if you don’t text me while you’re doing movie night. Go. Be with your team. Ya tebya lyublyu.”

Ilya melted just a little bit like he always did when Shane spoke Russian. Especially those words in Russian.”Ya tebya lyublyu.”

He ended the call and glanced around him when he saw Bennett at the other end of the hallway with Kyle. Ilya started to walk toward them to say hello. Bennett was the only hockey player who wasn’t a Centaur to text him and Shane his support after the video. More importantly, as far as he was concerned, he gave Shane a sense of normalcy when they’d been benched. Ilya didn’t take that lightly. 

Before he reached Bennett, Coach Wiebe emerged from one of the doors on the hall. Ilya watched as the two men hugged. Not in the back-slapping kind of way hockey players usually greeted each other. They held on - like long lost friends. If Kyle wasn’t standing there smiling, Ilya might have been concerned about it, but when Wiebe and Bennett finally broke apart, Kyle also moved in for a more energetic, but much shorter hug. Ilya watched the three of them walk toward the exit. Coach put his arm around Bennett’s shoulders and squeezed him into another side hug. Ilya heard Kyle and Wiebe laughing in harmony while Bennett shook his head slowly. 

Weird. 

He hadn’t realized they even knew each other. Then again, Eric had a long career before retiring. He wondered if they were ever on the same team. Ilya hadn’t kept track of NHL rosters when he was living in Russia, but Shane might know.   

“Roz!” Bood called, pulling Ilya’s attention away. “If we want to make sure the kids don’t go out on the town tonight we gotta do our thing now.”

Ilya nodded. He and Bood had decided to call for a team movie night so that everyone stayed fresh and sharp for practice tomorrow and game two the day after. 

“Yes. Let’s see how mighty these ducks of yours are,” Ilya said, heading back toward the locker room. 

“Ducks fly together!” 

Ilya assumed that would make sense later. 

He turned back to where Bennett and Wiebe had been. Obviously they were friends - and from the looks of it, good friends. Ilya guessed they were around the same age. 

Ilya
Were Wiebe and Bennett ever on the same team.

Shane
No. Why?

Very weird. 

The plan was one movie. A kid’s movie from the 90s, because it was only 90 minutes long and they could all shake off the loss and get to bed early. But Bood convinced him that they couldn’t watch just one movie about the duck children. 

“There’s no point in watching the first one if you aren’t going to watch the second,” Bood argued. He was so excited about these dumb movies that Ilya relented.

Ilya wanted to be paying attention and focused on being with his teammates, but he had also put aside thinking about how Shane was doing during the game - both because he wanted to win and because Shane would never forgive himself or Ilya if he played distracted in the playoffs. But now his mind was free to wander. Usually the kids would be all over him to pay attention to this part - no, no, this part is the best - but tonight they seemed willing to give him a pass. 

Ilya let his thumb hover over Shane’s name in his phone. He was on the verge of texting again but Shane would withhold pictures of Anya if he did. Still, Ilya loved knowing that he and Anya were together right now, in Ilya’s house. His family. 

When he signed with Ottawa he never imagined a day when his team would be in the playoffs while the Voyageurs weren’t. He always hated May and June when Shane was away but he didn’t have his own games to distract him from the distance. He had gotten the tattoo last year just to feel like they were together, even when they weren’t. As much as he hated sitting around during the playoffs, he hated the idea of Shane being alone now even more. Especially with how the last series ended. 

He pulled up Rose’s contact. Ilya didn’t talk to her much, but they had both decided they needed each other’s numbers “in case of a Shane emergency.” Shane had not been pleased. What kind of emergency are you imagining? Obviously Ilya hadn’t pictured all of the hockey media undermining their entire careers and integrity as competitors, but this definitely counted as a Shane Emergency. 

Ilya
Can you text Shane and make sure he’s not brooding?

Shane’s Beard
Did you lose his number, hot shot?

Ilya
He said he would not send me pictures of Anya if I texted him while I’m supposed to be watching a movie with my team

Shane’s Beard
What movie?

Ilya
The Mighty Ducks

Shane’s Beard
Quack quack quack quack

Ilya rolled his eyes. What was it about North Americans and these peewee hockey movies? And why the fuck did they call it peewee hockey? It was a terrible name for U12 leagues. Whoever came up with this belonged in jail.

While he waited for Rose to text Shane and report back, Ilya glanced up to see a child who was way too responsible and serious for his age aim his accusing eyes at his uptight jerk coach. It was like watching a tiny Shane Hollander glare at the camera all wounded and betrayed. His chest hurt. 

Shane’s Beard
He said he’s fine. 
What he actually said was “tell Ilya I’m fine.” 
I don’t know how he knew. I swear I was super subtle.

Ilya loved Rose as much as he could love anyone Shane had tried to leave him for, but he wasn’t entirely sure what subtlety meant from someone who sat Shane down at a restaurant and told him point blank he was gay. 

Shane’s Beard
He’s taking Anya for a walk and then going to bed
[Picture of Anya]

Ilya
Why do you get pictures of Anya?!

Shane’s Beard
I asked nicely

Ilya
Do you think he really is fine?

Shane’s Beard
No. 
But he will be. 
It’s good that he’s staying off social media. 
It seems like someone mysteriously blocked all those apps on his phone 

Ilya
😇

Shane’s Beard
I’m glad he has you

Ilya would feel better about that if he could actually be there right now. He scrolled through his contacts to see who else he could ask to check on Shane for him. David and Yuna would already be asleep. He considered asking Harris to take Chiron to visit Anya tomorrow but knew Shane would probably hate having to talk to someone new right now. Ilya was a minute away from texting Pike when Bood stood up in front of the TV. When he glanced at the screen, he saw the credits rolling on the first movie. Apparently the second one needed an introductory speech.  

“That was just the warm-up, team,” Bood said with a level of seriousness he usually reserved for season-ending injuries. Or appropriate grilled meat temperatures. “Now we get to watch the best movie of all-time: D2: The Mighty Ducks.”

Troy rolled his eyes, but Young and Holmberg cheered enthusiastically. Luca, who had watched the first film with the kind of focus that suggested he thought he was going to be tested on it, stared at Bood, wide eyed.

“This is blatant Empire Strikes Back slander and I won’t have it!” said Wyatt. 

“I’ll concede that it’s maybe the second best movie of all time,” said Bood, with a nod to Wyatt. 

“What about Casablanca?” said Dillon. 

Most of the guys stared at him in surprise. 

“What?” he said defensively. “I’m cultured!”

“Yesterday you asked me if Canadians spoke French as well as English because they thought it was cool,” said LaPointe. 

“Fuck you!”

“The point,” said Bood, raising his voice, “is… get ready for your new favorite movie.” 

Ilya snorted, but said nothing as Bood put on another duck movie. Ilya thought he would at least try to pay attention to this one. There was something fun about these 90s kids and their antics, but an hour into it he still couldn’t get past the absurdity of a youth hockey team being the next big money-maker in sports marketing. When his phone buzzed in his hands, he jumped to check the text. Maybe Shane had changed his mind about leaving Ilya alone. 

Bennett
Sorry the Admirals destroyed you tonight. 

Ilya raised his eyebrows. Texting him out of the blue just to taunt him was a bit out of character for Bennett, but he seemed to be trying to reach out a little more since Ilya told him he was bisexual. He wondered again about the hug with Wiebe and how they knew each other.  

Bennett
You’re always welcome at the Kingfisher to drown your sorrows after you lose the next one. 

Ilya
Are you trying to talk shit or offer support? 
You are very bad at both

Bennett
Fuck off. I just wanted to check in

Ilya
Not your best effort. 

On the screen, the now less uptight coach was tying the children together with a rope and making them skate in a huddle. What were this man's credentials? Where were their parents? 

Bennett
Yeah, yeah. 
How’s Hollander doing?

Ilya
How do you think?

Bennett
Probably not great. I wouldn’t be. 

Ilya
Yes.

Bennett
I had dinner with a friend tonight and his name came up.
Should I text him? It felt weird to after that game.

Ilya
That depends. Do you and your friend think he tripped on purpose?

Probably not, if Bennett had been having dinner with Coach. Ilya didn’t have much information beyond the hug, and he couldn’t help feeling a little on edge hearing that Bennett had been talking with anyone else about Shane. 

Bennet
Of course not. Are you kidding?
I played against him for 10 years. It never even occurred to me that people would think so until I saw the commentary.

Ilya felt his shoulders relax. He didn’t think Bennett would assume anything like that, but he also hadn’t thought anyone who’d played with Shane for even a second would. Unfortunately, he’d seen the accusing glares from fucking Montreal up close. It was enough to sully his victory. And he loved beating Shane. 

Ilya
Thank you for saying so. I think he would appreciate the text. 

Bood nudged him. “You’re missing an important part!” he hissed. 

Ilya absently glanced up in time to see the mean Icelandic coach menacingly deflate a beach ball.

“This is an important part?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. Bood bared his teeth and growled. Ilya held up his hands in surrender and paid attention for about thirty seconds before his phone buzzed again. 

Bennett
I hope he’s staying off social media

Ilya
He is. 
Someone might have accidentally blocked those apps on his phone 

Bennett
Good. Has anyone done the same for your phone?

Ilya
I am not the one people are accusing of throwing a game for my boyfriend 

Bennett
Don’t bullshit me, Rozanov. 
All that dumbass commentary is making my blood boil. I can only imagine how you feel. 
I hope you’re staying away from it all.

Bennett wasn’t wrong. On the plane ride to New York he thought he would just check to see what people were saying. He ended up squeezing the phone so tightly, Troy had to pry it out of his fingers.

Ilya 
Some of the theories are interesting
Did you know, every time Shane and I fuck, we strike a blow against toxic masculinity?

Bennett
Oh my god

Ilya
But we also support toxic masculinity when we fight on the ice. 

Bennett
I’ve always said you’re a solid two-way player.

Ilya
Bennett! Is this a compliment?
Wait. 
No.
IS THAT A BISEXUAL JOKE?!

Bennett
I’m offended you’re so surprised. 

Ilya
I’m delighted!
You retire and suddenly you have jokes! 
Kyle is excellent influence.

Bennett
He’ll be thrilled to hear it.
I guess there are worse things you could be reading than thinkpieces on masculinity in sports.

Ilya
Oh. Is not just that.
Apparently I control the whole sportsbetting industry with the power of my dick!

Bennett
I must have missed that one. 

Ilya 
[Link: Have Hollander and Rozanov Been Playing the Odds?]

Bennett
You’re probably better than most about seeing the online noise for the bullshit that it is. 
But I know it’s harder when the target is someone you love. You really shouldn’t be looking.

Ilya
I don’t want to miss it if someone finally says, “Shane Hollander purposely throwing a match is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. What is wrong with you people?”

Bennett
[OpEd: Shane Hollander’s Competitiveness Should Speak for Itself]
We were talking about this at dinner
I don’t think the noise will ever go away entirely but it’s going to get harder and harder for anyone to take that bullshit seriously once next season starts. 
Six months from now, Hollander will be back to terrorizing every goalie in the league and you’ll be right behind him on all of their shit lists. 

Ilya
I think you mean he’ll be right behind me.

Bennett
Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.
In the meantime, there are plenty of people who know the truth and want to be there for you. 
Your team, your coach. 
If you talked to Scott, he’d tell you that for every shitty reaction he’s gotten, he’s gotten three more that are supportive and positive. 

Ilya
You are bringing up Hunter now? To make me feel better?

Bennett
Yes 
You should remember that you guys aren’t the only ones out there.
The point is you’ve got good people around you. 

Ilya jumped as, from right next to him, Bood shouted “Ducks fly together!” 

He looked around for a moment, baffled. Chouinard had clearly been asleep and drooling when Bood’s outburst woke him up. On screen, the maybe-qualified coach was talking to his duck children in the locker room: "And when the wind blows hard and the sky is black…” 

Ilya startled again as Wyatt and a few of the kids joined in from behind him, yelling, “Ducks Fly Together”

Ilya rolled his eyes. He looked down at his phone again.  

Bennett
Pay attention to them, not the assholes.

Ilya
Very Inspirational. You are like this Might Ducks coach. 

Bennett
Is that supposed to be an insult? Coach Bombay is a legend. 
Ducks fly together. 

Ilya
🙄

Ilya felt eyes on him when he read Bennett’s last message and looked to the back of the room to see Wiebe standing in the doorway. Coach glanced around with a small smile and gave Ilya a little head nod.

Ilya caught sight of the takeaway container - the kind restaurants give you when you don’t finish your meal. He glanced back down at his phone. Wiebe was definitely Bennett’s dinner friend. And Bennett was being fucking shady about it for no reason at all. 

And what? Wiebe had given his post-game pep talk and then slipped out to meet with his super secret friend to talk about the homophobic bullshit Ilya and Shane were dealing with? Ilya felt the sudden urge to clear his throat and say “where exactly have you been, mister?” like he’d seen on old American television shows. But Wiebe was already backing out of the doorway, and Bood was grinning at the duck team suddenly winning in his ridiculous movie. 

Instead, he pulled up a new text thread. 

***

Brandon walked into the hotel lounge to see D2 on the screen and the whole team in various states of attentiveness and sleepiness sprawled over the couches. The loss tonight had been tough but the team was resilient. He was glad they were all here together, decompressing in a low-key way. He didn’t want to intrude - the last thing they needed was to snap to attention for their coach when they should be relaxing. He scanned the room. Bood was on the edge of his seat, the kids were throwing popcorn into each others’ mouths, Troy and Ilya were on their phones. As though he could feel Brandon’s eyes on him, Roz’s head popped up. Brandon smiled and gave a small head nod. Ilya narrowed his eyes and looked from Brandon to his phone and back again, which seemed like a weird reaction. Brandon turned to leave the room when he felt his pocket buzz.  

***

Eric pocketed his phone and started to head upstairs. Dinner with Wiebe had been great. They’d swapped embarrassing stories about each other - which Kyle enjoyed maybe a little too much, and by the end, Eric’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Kyle was as delighted with the whole evening as Eric had been. He’d gone to work the closing shift, but as they’d left he could swear he saw something like relief in Kyle’s eyes. “Don’t lose touch with him again. It’s good for you to have a friend like this,” Kyle had murmured in his ear before he left. 

Brando had spent so much time gloating that he had been right all along about Rozanov being what Ottawa needed. It felt natural to send Roz a message to check in. Eric would text Hollander in the morning, it was pretty late.  

He’d just plugged his phone in on his nightstand when a new text came in.

***

Ilya to Coach Wiebe and Bennett
Did you have a good dinner?
And how long have you known each other?

Chapter End Notes

DoubleDecker originally popped Mighty Ducks in because it seemed like a good thing for the team to watch. She had no idea that SugMak had THOUGHTS about the movie and took it VERY seriously. If she had, she might have said The Bad News Bears.

DoubleDecker: “Ilya thinks it’s probably one of those movies you had to watch as a child to appreciate. The quacking thing was a little weird.”
SugMak: [not at all taking that objectively true statement personally] I'm sorry you don't have appreciation for the third greatest movie ever made, but don’t put those words in Ilya’s mouth!

In order to limit the amount of D2 content in this chapter, DoubleDecker promised SugMak she could give you some of her THOUGHTS in the notes:
If you’ve ever watched D2: The Mighty Ducks, you’ll notice that the “bad guy” team is straight out of every Cold War era Russia stereotype that has ever existed. It might as well be Rocky IV for kids. Which is weird because they’re team Iceland, and the movie was made in 1994, after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Obviously, someone at Disney belatedly remembered the Cold War was over, and that the US was trying to play nice with the new Russian government, so they just crossed out “Russia” in the script and wrote “Iceland.” Ilya is not a stupid man. He would have noticed the Soviet team with a “Hello my name is… Iceland” sticker hastily slapped on. (Who has issues with Iceland? What has Iceland ever done to anyone?) I tried to find a way to insert some commentary from him to this effect but there was just no way to do it without it sounding like “SugMak history time!” Please just know, as Roz is watching this, he’s mentally going “Ah yes, the Russian Icelandic team will win at any cost. Of course the scrappy little Americans must defeat the terrible Russians Icelanders, who are the villains because they… work harder and are better at hockey.” He was probably also a little confused about why he was supposed to root for a team where a guy tried to lasso someone on the ice mid game and had, as he would have put it (if DD wasn’t such a hard-ass with her whole “we don’t need the entire plot of this movie in the scene” thing), “two sociopathic children trying to give everyone concussions.”
But he might have been proud of Disney’s commentary on the corrosive effect of capitalism on sports and personal values. Well done, Disney, the capitalismiest capitalism that ever captialismed.

Weirdly, DD is the one more likely to use pop culture to teach history than SM

(DD in response to this note: I love your can-do attitude and your blatant disregard for how much people on ao3 care about the Cold War!)

Chapter 15: Flashback I: AIM Redux

Chapter Notes

DoubleDecker said we could keep Ilya texting with Kyle if SugMak came up with a canon compliant reason why Ilya had his number. She expected 3 sentences. She got this:

The night Troy came out, Ilya sent Kyle flowers with a card that read:
Make sure Centaurs Pride Night game is on at the bar tonight. Thank you for your help. -I. Rozanov
Kyle
What were the flowers for?
Ilya
Kyle Swift?
How did you get my number?
Kyle
I told Eric I needed to text my secret lover.
Ilya
Did you have the game on at the bar?
Kyle
I did. Not a dry eye in the house.
But I don’t know why you’re thanking me. I met the guy once.
Ilya
You gave him his first safe space.
And a very important apple pin.
Kyle
Oh. Wow.
Ilya
Plus I knew it would annoy Bennett.

Now you know why chapters 11-17 were originally supposed to be three chapters and are instead seven chapters. Unless chapter 17 becomes chapters 17 & 18, which, let’s not rule anything out.

If you were born in the United States between 1978-1992 (YMMV), gird your loins for some nostalgia.

TW: Slurs (not thrown but mentioned)

May 2021

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Did you have a good dinner?

He really was more perceptive than he had any right to be. 

*

Fucking Rozanov
And how long have you known each other?

Perceptive fucker. 

October 1995

Brandon was fuming when he got home from practice. He had to hold it together though. His billet family was great but he didn’t think they’d appreciate him kicking a hole in their wall. Luckily, they didn’t mind them using their computer and signing on to the internet. He booted it up and listened to the irritating yet soothing screech of the dial up connecting.  

He really hoped Benny was online tonight. He wasn’t always - they both had crazy practice and game schedules for their Junior teams on top of all their school work. And Benny was such a dork - he always did all his school work. 

He really wished he could just call Eric but his dad blew a gasket when he saw the phone bill Brandon had racked up talking to him when they first got home from camp. He didn’t want to make long distance calls from his host parents’ phone, so he had resigned himself to crossing his fingers that Benny would be online at the same time Brandon signed on. 

Finally the internet connected. Hot damn! Eric was online.

BraNdaWg14: I hate the word faggot 
EBgoalie123: Hello to you too
BraNdaWg14: Hi. How was practice? Are you going to be starting tomorrow, did they say? 
BraNdaWg14: Also, I fucking hate the word faggot. 

Benny wasn’t gay. Brandon was as sure as he could be about that. He’d had a girlfriend at camp two summers ago that he’d really liked. He hadn’t talked about her in the gross way some of the guys on his team did, but he’d blushed adorably when he came back to the dorms after taking her out to the movies or dinner. 

But Benny always got mad when the guys at camp threw around gay slurs. The angry lasers that shot out of his eyes when one of the assholes had called one of the younger kids a fairy just for tucking in his shirt was the first thing that had endeared him to Brandon when they met three summers ago.

Brandon also wasn’t gay. He’d had a girlfriend last year who he for sure enjoyed kissing. And touching. And… other stuff. But he definitely wasn’t straight either - he had started to figure that out a few years ago. He’d known Benny for three years, but this past summer, suddenly those adorable blushes started to do funny things to Brandon’s insides. And on the nights when they squeezed onto one of their beds to watch a movie, Brandon got pretty good at using a strategically placed pillow or blanket to hide his boner. He might have also inched closer and closer to Benny sometimes, pretending to stretch or something and until they ended up cuddled together. Benny never moved away, but hockey players were used to people in their personal space. It didn’t mean anything. 

Obviously it didn’t mean anything. Even if, on one of those nights Brandon felt Eric’s eyes lingering on him. When he’d turned his head, Eric had looked so serious before he gave Brandon a shy smile. Brandon had been so close to leaning in and kissing him. But hockey dudes didn’t kiss each other. So Brandon didn’t. Instead he ran into the shower and jerked off. Twice. 

Still, Brandon would rather be friends with Benny than nothing. And since they lived in different provinces, all they could be was friends - even if there weren’t those rules about hockey guys kissing. 

EBgoalie123: Vinny is at it again?
BraNdaWg14: Vinny, Bauer, Wood. I complained to Coach and he was fucking like, suck it up sissy boy. 
BraNdaWg14: Ugggggg. I hate them all. 
EBgoalie123: I’m sorry. Hockey is full of fucking neanderthals. 
BraNdaWg14: I wish we could do something about it. 
EBgoalie123: Like what?
BraNdaWg14: I don’t know. Like what if we formed a gang or something. Or like if all the guys in hockey who aren’t total pricks banded together to beat the assholes out of it. 
EBgoalie123: Feels like we’d be pretty outnumbered in that fight.
EBgoalie123: It would be like 
EBgoalie123: A group of 2
BraNdaWg14: That’s so depressing. There have to be more than 2 of us. 
BraNdaWg14: Don’t there?
EBgoalie123: I don’t know, but if you find any more, let me know
EBgoalie123: Until then, I think it’s just us. The Group of Two.
BraNdaWg14: We can think of a better name than that. 
EBgoalie123: Like what?
BraNdaWg14: The Dynamic Duo?
EBgoalie123: No
BraNdaWg14: The Non-Dickhead Duo
EBgoalie123: You call me a dickhead at least once a week.
BraNdaWg14: The Delightful Dudes
EBgoalie123: You make us sound more like the Dork Dudes. 
BraNdaWg14: The Dudes who Don’t Suck
EBgoalie123: How are you coming up with worse names?
BraNdaWg14: The Duo of Delightful Dorks who Don’t Suck 
EBgoalie123: I hope you’re never in charge of naming anything
BraNdaWg14: :D
BraNdaWg14: Thanks for making me laugh about my shitty teammates
EBgoalie123: Any time
BraNdaWg14: Why does this thing I love to do so much have to include nothing but assholes
BraNdaWg14: And you :)
EBgoalie123: At least we have each other. 

May 2021

Neither Coach or Eric returned Ilya’s text that night. It wasn’t until the next morning when he finally got a response.

Bennet
Oh we go way back.

Ilya
… 
This does not answer my question

Coach Wiebe
Dinner was great.
We’re old friends.

Ilya
This is also not an answer

Bennett
Don’t be so nosy.
Brando won’t say it but I can.

Ilya 
Brando?!

Coach Wiebe 
Rozanov… 

*

Ilya 
I would like you to be honest with me. Everyone else is being what is word
Hiding the truth

Bennett’s Child Groom 
Weird that I’m the one you’re trusting, but go on…

Ilya
Did you and Eric have threesome with my coach last night?

Bennett’s Child Groom
I never kiss and tell.

Ilya snorted. Kyle was fun. He was completely full of shit, but this was part of his charm. Wiebe had come back only a few hours after the game ended, carrying a takeout container, without a hair out of place. Not to mention the fact that Wiebe cheating on his wife seemed about as likely to Ilya as… well, as Shane tripping on purpose. It wouldn’t happen. 

He’d hoped Kyle would just tell him what was going on with Coach and Bennett but he should have known better. 

This was getting more interesting by the second. 

If there was no story, why the secret?

April 1996

Eric bounced his leg nervously. He heard the familiar dial tone - bee boo baa boo bee baa beep - Waaaa, woooo, WhaBUM, whaBUM of the modem while he tried to figure out what he would say to Brando. They had been planning and dreaming about their draft day for months - years really - and Eric didn’t know how Wiebe was going to react to Eric’s news. He almost wished Brando wasn’t online tonight and he could put it off for another day. But no such luck. 

BraNdaWg14: Hey! How did it go?
EBgoalie123: Hey. 
EBgoalie123: It was good. I got a shut out. 
BraNdaWg14: FUCK YEAH!!
BraNdaWg14: Were the scouts there? I bet you go like second or third round now.
EBgoalie123: They were. Coach had me talking to Buffalo and Chicago today. 
EBgoalie123: But also
BraNdaWg14: Chicago?! That would be so awesome! It’s supposed to be such a cool city.
EBgoalie123: Yeah. I don’t know. There was also 

Eric took a deep breath. 

EBgoalie123: ok, so, don’t get upset… 
BraNdaWg14: The worst way to start a sentence ever…
EBgoalie123: There was also a college scout there who wanted to talk to me. And I think I might
EBgoalie123: Fuck, sorry. I really want to get drafted together but I think I might meet with him again. 
BraNdaWg14: Oh
BraNdaWg14: Yeah, I mean. You like school. That makes sense. What college?

He knew Brando was going to give him so much shit for this. It was never mean, but Wiebe loved to make fun of how much of a dork Eric was. 

EBgoalie123: Harvard
BraNdaWg14: ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME BENNY?
EBgoalie123: Is that dumb? 
BraNdaWg14: Is it dumb to go to one of the smartest schools in the world? Of course it’s not dumb. Why would you even say that?
EBgoalie123: Coach wasn’t happy that I spent more time talking to a college scout than the NHL guys. 
EBgoalie123: He thinks I’m an idiot for banking on teams still wanting to draft me in 4 years.
EBgoalie123: He said college is where good goalies go to die and I won’t be as valuable if I put off some of my prime hockey playing years
BraNdaWg14:Well first of all, statistically your prime hockey playing years are 24-27 
EBgoalie123: How do you even know that? 
BraNdaWg14: I asked Jeeves. 

Eric snorted. Of course he did.

BraNdaWg14: And secondly, it’s the opposite of dumb.
BraNdaWg14: You’re smart. Smart enough to have options beyond letting a bunch of meatheads shoot pucks at your face
EBgoalie123: I like playing goalie!
BraNdaWg14: Yeah. Because you’re a weirdo. 
BraNdaWg14: But a smart weirdo. You should totally go to college. 
EBgoalie123: What about you? You’re smart
BraNdaWg14: I don’t like school the way you do. I just wanna play hockey.   

That didn’t surprise Eric. Brandon would probably ace college… if you could keep him out of the rink long enough to make it to class. But he came alive on the ice in a way he never would in a classroom.

BraNdaWg14: We won’t get started together but the NHL will still be there when you graduate.
BraNdaWg14: I’ll probably be in the AHL for a few years anyway. 
BraNdaWg14: I mean, if I get drafted at all. 
BraNdaWg14: I might need other options too.

What was he talking about? Brando was a great hockey player and an even better tactician. There was no way the NHL wouldn’t draft him. Eric had never heard Brandon even suggest he might not get drafted. It was always “when we’re drafted,” or “what if we end up on the same team?” Eric didn’t like the sound of Wiebe second-guessing that. Something else must be going on.

EBgoalie123: What do you mean?
BraNdaWg14: Vinny was being a dick again
EBgoalie123: Of course he was. What happened?
BraNdaWg14: He was really going at this exchange guy from Finland 
BraNdaWg14: Calling him a cocksucker, making fun of him struggling with English, the usual. Then he took the guy’s towel and clothes while he was in the shower and… 
BraNdaWg14: It was bad
EBgoalie123: Fucking asshole
BraNdaWg14: I tried complaining again
EBgoalie123: Let me guess, the Finnish guy needs to learn to toughen up
BraNdaWg14: Yeahhhhhh
BraNdaWg14: Coach laid into me for being a tattletale and not minding my own business
BraNdaWg14: And then the assistant coach took me aside after 
EBgoalie123: What did he say?
BraNdaWg14: I don’t remember. It wasn’t important. 
BraNdaWg14: I’m just starting to think I should consider other options after high school. Beyond hockey, I mean. You might have the right idea - maybe I should look at college, after all. 
EBgoalie123: Brandon
EBgoalie123: What did the assistant coach say?

There had to be more to this story. The shitty parts of hockey always bothered Wiebe but they had never gotten in the way of his dream before. Eric was able to let the garbage roll off his back more - he was a goalie, he wasn’t in the thick of it most of the time the way Wiebe was, playing forward. But Brando loved hockey. Eric used to get so distracted standing in the net, watching him skate. The way Eric felt when he saw Brando’s intense focus as he raced down the ice handling the puck with agility and speed was… complicated. And confusing. It seemed wiser to ignore those feelings. Eric hated the idea that Wiebe wouldn’t be waiting for him in the NHL in four years. 

BraNdaWg14: He said that I’m probably good enough to get drafted. 
EBgoalie123: Okay. That’s good. 
BraNdaWg14: But he also said, “you’re not a star, you get me? You get known as a pain in everyone’s ass, no one’s gonna draft you. You're not that good.”
EBgoalie123: You call that not remembering?
BraNdaWg14: It may or may not have burned itself into my brain. 
BraNdaWg14: What if…

Eric waited for him to finish. He could imagine so many ways Brando would end that sentence, because he’d had the same thoughts. What if I’m not good enough? What if this is a huge mistake? What if the NHL chews me up and spits me out? What if I don’t even get drafted? 

What if there’s something wrong with me?

BraNdaWg14: I don’t know. Nevermind.
EBgoalie123: Listen.
EBgoalie123: Fuck your asshole coach
EBgoalie123: And your assistant coach. And fuck fucking Vinny and the rest of those fuckers
BraNdaWg14: Your ability to turn the word “fuck” into every part of speech in impressive
BraNdaWg14: This is why you’re the one going to college
EBgoalie123: Yeah. My admissions essay is just a long string of inventive new ways to cuss
EBgoalie123: Seriously, Brando.
EBgoalie123: Hockey doesn’t deserve you. But it needs you
EBgoalie123: You have to hold down the fort for Group of Two until I get there. 
BraNdaWg14: Come on. That’s not what it’s called. 
EBgoalie123: I’m not calling us the “Delightful Duo.” It’s terrible.
BraNdaWg14: Decent Dudes?
EBgoalie123: Duo of Dweebs. 
BraNdaWg14: That’s a new one!
EBgoalie123: Maybe you can find some new members
EBgoalie123: Ones who are better at naming things. 
BraNdaWg14: There are over 600 players in the NHL. They can’t all be dicks, right?
EBgoalie123: Statistically unlikely. 
BraNdaWg14: Dork. 
BraNdaWg14: You should definitely go to Haaaaaarvard. 
EBgoalie123: And you should definitely not quit. In a locker room of 20 players or so, I think you can find the good guys and stick to them.
EBgoalie123: You love hockey, Brando. You can’t let those assholes keep you from it
BraNdaWg14: <3

Eric stared at the heart for a long time. That was new. What did it mean? 

Hockey guys said I love you sometimes to their buddies. Probably that was all that it was. Brando had a rough week - and Eric had added to it by telling him about Harvard. Maybe Wiebe was letting him know he wasn’t mad. 

Eric needed Wiebe to not quit hockey. He wanted to know that Brando would be there when he got drafted in four years. He loved standing in net - it was the place he felt most comfortable in the world. But he needed to know that there was at least one other good guy in hockey if this was going to be his life. 

*

Fuck. Brandon didn’t mean to hit send on the heart. He also hadn’t meant to tell Benny about the shit his coaches said to him this week. He’d been thrown by Eric’s news about college. They were always going to do draft day together - even if it meant him sitting around hoping he got picked in a later round while Eric got picked early. He knew he didn’t have the same natural talent and he had to make up for it with a strong hockey IQ, solid work ethic, and the ability to see the right play at the right time. And really, he loved all that shit - figuring out the game and the plays, skating himself into the ground, being totally focused on every drill. But he hated the pranks and the slurs. He hated always having to be on guard in case someone suspected that those slurs applied to him.

He wasn’t going to quit. He was just feeling a bit raw. And because of his moment of weakness he’d actually hit send on that stupid fucking heart. To his best friend. His probably straight, hockey playing best friend.

He buried his face in his hands and waited to hear that tell-tale door slam noise that meant Benny had left the conversation. He didn’t even really have a crush on Eric anymore. 

Mostly. 

But he definitely didn’t want to freak Benny out with his feelings. 

Fuck.

He heard “blo-oo-da-doop” and held his breath before he looked up.

EBgoalie123: <3

May 2021

Ilya 
Coach Wiebe didn’t go to Harvard, did he?

Shane
You didn’t look him up when he got the job?

Ilya
No. You’re the only one who knows every stat of your coach

Shane
Shut up.
He was drafted by Edmonton right out of Juniors. 

Ilya
I thought he started in Detroit

Shane
No, he was traded after two years and then spent like 4 or 5 years in Detroit.

Ilya
Was he in any All-Star Games?

Shane
You know you can just Google this yourself

Ilya
But you are so hot when you show off with hockey trivia 
Are you saying you do not know?

Shane
Of course I know 

Ilya
Hot 😘

Shane
He was never an all-star. You’re thinking of Bennett, not Wiebe

Ilya
Must be. Thank you мы энциклопедия 

Shane
Why the sudden curiosity?

Ilya
No reason.

Chapter End Notes

We came up with AIM screen names for Eric and Wiebe back when we were writing chapter 3 (aka “nemesis chapter”) and have played around with different places to include them ever since. We didn’t anticipate a flashback but are really glad we didn’t throw them away on a recall when actually seeing them in red and blue made us literally lose our minds with nostalgia.
We gave Wiebe #14 as his hockey number which was also DoubleDecker’s high school basketball number that she used in her screen name. Weird capitalization was the norm, but we also imagine B.N.W. to be his initials. As far as we can tell from Common Goal, Eric’s birthday is December 3, so he is as boring as he is boring in picking 123.
Unfortunately we discovered that AOL and AIM didn't make it to Canada until a little later into the 90s but SugMak pointed out, if COVID didn't happen in the GCU, there's no reason AOL couldn't have been in Canada in 1995. Her logic is flawless, we're taking no questions.

We’ve posted two chapters at once because they’re linked enough to go together but separate enough to not be one thing.
For life reasons, it might be longer than usual before we post chapter 17 so if you prefer to savor (like DoubleDecker), give it some time before you read the next one. If you have no impulse control (like SugMak), enjoy chapter 16!

Chapter 16: Flashback II: Ilya Rozanov, Boy Detective

Chapter Notes

We’re posting two chapters at once because they’re linked enough to go together but separate enough to not be one thing. (Which means if you just went for the last chapter on the list, go back one.)

DoubleDecker did a deep dive into the NHL draft and collegiate hockey in the 1990s for these flashbacks. (And by deep dive we mean she read two wikipedia pages.) Because SugMak is the superior friend (or, more accurately, a sucker for a good rabbit hole), she actually read the info dump DoubleDecker wrote on the subject.

The pre-canon chronology is accurate to the best of our understanding of their ages, careers, and life events. There is enough ambiguity in canon that we think this interpretation is compliant. (Love, your canon-compliance coordinator.)

May 2021
Game 2: Centaur @ Admirals, 7:30pm Tonight!
New York Leads Series 1-0

Group Chat: Ilya, Coach Wiebe, Bennett
Ilya
Brandon Wiebe. 

Coach Wiebe
Ilya Rozanov

Ilya
Born and raised in Sudbury, Ontario. 
Drafted by Edmonton in 1997 

Coach Wiebe
Okay…?

Ilya
Traded to Detroit in 2000. Spent some time in the AHL because the league is bullshit, and back in the NHL. Played on some other teams. Retired in 2011.
Hired by the Ottawa Centaurs in 2020 because the owners are very smart.

Coach Wiebe
Ilya. I’m still sitting at the breakfast buffet. You just walked past me to go find better bagels. If you have questions about my career you can just come back and ask me.

Ilya
Never played for New York. 

Coach Wiebe
Oh.
Oh geez

Ilya
Eric Bennett.

Bennett
What is happening?

Ilya 
Grew up in Hamilton, Ontario.

Coach Wiebe
Ilya is going  all “boy detective” on us

Ilya Rozanov has changed the group name to: Sherlock Holmes and SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS

Ilya
Inherited goalie gear from a cousin who had the good sense to stop playing goalie

Bennett
This is why goalies mostly stick to ourselves.

Ilya
Hockey scholarship to Harvard in 1997. Drafted to the New York Admirals in 2001.
Married in 2002. 
Came out as bisexual in 2020 when he retires to be with hot young bartender

Bennett
That’s not exactly how it went.

Ilya
This is how I remember it

Bennett
Is there a reason you’re reciting our wikipedia pages to us?

Ilya
Is there a reason you did not tell me you had dinner with my coach?

Bennett
Because I don’t report my comings and goings to you?

Ilya
How do you know each other? 

Coach Wiebe
Rozanov. You know what sounds like a great use of all that energy and focus you seem to have?
Reviewing game footage. Working out how to get past the Admirals’ defense.

Ilya
I will figure this out! 

Bennett
Figure out your slapshot. 
You’re telegraphing.

Ilya
LIES! I never telegraph.

June 2001

From: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com>
Sent: Monday, June 25, 2001, 12:34AM
To: Eric Bennett <ebennett@harvard.edu>
Subject: You Made It!!!!

You did it! New York baby!!!!!!!!! 

I know it’s been forever. I’m sorry - I’m terrible at responding to email on the road. And I’m always fucking on the road. The NHL schedule is no joke. BUT! I saw the news and I’m so excited for you!! You’re going to be awesome - New York is lucky to have you. Decent Duo of Dudes who Don’t Suck - DDDWDS, if you will, - taking the NHL by storm!

It’s going to be so much easier to keep in touch now that we’ll be playing in the same conference. I can’t wait to score on you again! :)

Congrats dude,
Brando

From: Eric Bennett <ebennett@harvard.edu>
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001, 8:14AM
To: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: You Made It!!!!

Hey! 

It’s been awhile! Yeah, I’m super excited. It’s been a really crazy week. I can’t really believe it.

Life has been good. Holly and I got engaged a couple of weeks ago, too. 

How was your first year in Detroit? I can’t believe you were already traded before I even got drafted. I caught a couple of your games on TV when you were playing Boston. It sucked that I was at that tournament while you were here. 

I’m still not calling our Group of Two the Decent Duo of Dudes who Don’t Suck. And I’m definitely not calling us the DDDWDS.

Any guys on the Detroit team who aren’t total assholes? The Harvard guys weren’t so bad - they dragged me to those stupid Star Wars movies. It made me think of you. 

I guess the next time I see you it will be on NHL ice. Where I’ll be shutting you down.

Miss you,
Eric

From: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, July 1, 2001, 4:43PM
To: Eric Bennett <ebennett@harvard.edu>
Subject: RE: RE: You Made It!!!!

Congrats to you and Holly!! I’ll have to keep an eye out for a wedding invitation ;) 

Detroit has been amazing! I know I’m a fourth-line guy on a two-way contract but it’s everything we always talked about. I’ve made pretty good friends with one of my teammates. He’s definitely Group of 2 AKA DDDWDS AKA Detroit Duo of Decent Dudes Plus Benny material. Maybe I can introduce you when we play each other next year. And I can meet Holly when I’m in New York.

<3, 
Brandon

From: Eric Bennett <ebennett@harvard.edu>
Sent: Sunday, July 1, 2001, 4:45M
To: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: RE: RE: You Made It!!!!

You still aren’t allowed to name things. 

May 2021
Game 2: Centaurs 2 Admirals 5
New York leads series 2-0

Sherlock Holmes and SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS
Ilya 
Ok.
I have some ideas. 
Theory 1

Bennett
Didn’t you just get off the ice like ten minutes ago after my guys beat your ass?

Coach Wiebe
Ahem

Bennett
Sorry, Brando. 

Ilya 
My therapist says it is good not to dwell on sad things 
Theory 1:
Bennett, you got drunk after NHL Awards ceremony you both attended.

Bennett
You know I don’t drink, right?

Ilya
Coach saw you committing a crime.

Bennett
What??

Brandon Wiebe has changed the group name to: Ilya Rozanov, Boy Detective

Ilya
You stole money from nice old lady to feed your terrible gambling addiction. 

Coach Wiebe
Yes, that sounds just like him

Ilya
Coach agreed to cover up the crime if you returned the money to the nice old lady and got help. 
Many years later, you bought him dinner as thanks for turning your life around.

Bennett
You’re officially banned from sitting next to Wyatt on flights

Ilya
You are not the coach of me!

Bennett
Brando, you wanna step in here?

Coach Wiebe
Not really. I like how I’m coming off in this story. 
But sadly, I do have to cut it short. You’re up for press, Ilya

*

45 minutes later 

Ilya
My most favorite bartender in New York

Bennett’s Child Groom
I think you mean your only bartender in New York. 

Ilya
Of course! 
Other bars mean nothing to me! 

Bennett’s Child Groom
That’s what I thought
What do you want?

Ilya
You know how Bennett knows Wiebe. I know you do.

Bennett’s Child Groom
I do 😉

Ilya

Bennett’s Child Groom
Why does it even matter? 

Ilya
Because they won’t tell me
Is not really interesting. Except it is secret.

Bennett’s Child Groom
Hmmm
What do I get out of telling you?

Ilya
I will love you forever

Bennett’s Child Groom
Boring. 

Ilya
I will only ever drink in your bar when I am in town. 

Bennett’s Child Groom
You already do that

Ilya
I will introduce you to a very short 2-time NHL MVP

Bennett’s Child Groom
NHL MVPs don’t impress me. 

Ilya
You will bring chaos to Eric’s life

Bennett’s Child Groom
…
Tempting. 
But I’m not gonna tell you. 

Ilya

Bennett’s Child Groom
How about I give you a clue?
[image: Brandon at Eric’s Wedding]

*

Ilya Rozanov, Boy Detective
Ilya
[image: Brandon at Eric’s Wedding]
THE PLOT THICKENS

April 2002

From: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com> 
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002, 11:14AM
To: Eric Bennett <ebgoalie123@yahoo.com>
Subject: BENNY’S GETTING MARRIED!!

I got the invite! Consider this my official RSVP! Can’t wait to see you! 

From: Eric Bennett <ebgoalie123@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002, 2:03 PM
To: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com> 
Subject: RE: BENNY’S GETTING MARRIED!!

Ok but still send in the card because Holly’s mom is… just send in the card. 
I’m sorry you were sent down to the AHL before we played each other. I missed seeing you last week. 

Benny

From: Brandon Wiebe <brandawg14@hotmail.com> 
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002, 11:14AM
To: Eric Bennett <ebgoalie123@yahoo.com>
Subject: RE: RE: BENNY’S GETTING MARRIED!!

It’s really for the best. I was playing like shit for a reason and that reason is still centering the third line up there. 
I wish I could actually fucking talk to you about this.

I know :( 
I’m working hard so I’ll be back up next season!

<3,
Brando

May 2021
Game 3: Admirals @ Centaurs, 8pm Tonight!
New York leads series 2-0

Ilya
Hazy. You know lots of weird stories

Hayes
Worse things have been said about me

Ilya
Give me weird comics reason people would keep friendship a secret

Hayes
Dude, you kept your relationship a secret for over a fucking decade. Why do you need to make a reason up?

Ilya
I want a more fun reason than homophobia

Hayes
Well superheroes often keep their real identities a secret so their friends aren’t in danger from supervillains. 
Sometimes it means they have to pretend they don’t know loved ones

*

Ilya Rozanov: Boy Detective
Ilya
THEORY 2…

February 2009

Brandon
I think I’m going to file a complaint against him to the league

Eric Bennett
Against your championship winning, high profile, league-favorite coach?
Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Brandon
I don’t fucking care what his profile is. He’s VILE, Benny
The way he talks to the rookies is VICIOUS

Eric Bennett
Yeah. I get it but

Brandon
It’s fucking abuse. There’s no other word for it

Eric Bennett
I agree with you 

Brandon
He’s ruining hockey for these kids. They were so excited and energetic at the beginning of the season and now most of them are dragging themselves to practice and getting drunk immediately after. 
Schaffer was 2 minutes late to practice and he had him doing bag skates until he threw up
That’s not what a coach should do to a team.

Eric Bennet
You’re right. It’s not.

Brandon
I found Diggins CRYING in his car after practice today.

Eric Bennett
I understand everything you’re saying Brando. I just want you to be prepared for the consequences.
He’s one of the winningest coaches of all time. He’s going into the hall of fame. You know that. 

Brandon
I know. But being a winning hockey coach doesn’t give anyone the right to treat people like this.

Eric Bennett
Unfortunately, I don’t think the NHL is going to see it that way. 
The league protects its own

Brandon
Aren’t the people actually out there on the ice part of “its own”

Eric Bennett
Not if protecting them involves tarnishing the name of one of their cash cows.
Winning games means filling stadiums. Full stadiums make the league and the owners happy.
Stories about abusive coaches don’t.
It’s fucked. I know it is.

Brandon
Damn right it is. 
Remember when we talked about forming a group of nice hockey guys who would go around beating up all the assholes.  

Eric Bennett
Group of 2. 

Brandon
I think you mean the Decent and Delightful Duo of Dudes.

Eric Bennett
Why are you so bad at naming things?

Brandon
It’s a gift

Eric Bennett
Anyway, I think there are more than two of us now. 
Some of my teammates are good guys. 

Brandon
Not mine. So if I’m doing this, I’m doing it alone. 

Eric Bennett
Is your wife ok with it if you get traded again?

Brandon
Yeah. She’s on board. She’s the best. 

Eric Bennett
I’m glad she’s on your side with this.

Brandon
I probably wouldn’t have married her if she wasn’t a Decent Dudette.

Eric Bennett
Decent Dame

Brandon
YES!

Eric Bennett
What have you done to me?

Brandon
I spent 15 years wearing you down. 

Eric Bennett
You’re like the terminator, but for human decency.

Brandon
I’m just saying, we’ve been complaining about the shitty parts of hockey for years. I want to actually do something to try to fix it for once. 

Eric Bennett
I know how much this shit eats at you. I’m in your corner if you need to file the complaint. 
If there’s anything I can do, let me know

Brandon
Thanks, Benny, but this is on me. I’m not dragging anyone else down with me

Eric Bennett
Bullshit. If I could do anything to make a difference I would in a heartbeat
But I’m just as powerless as you against that dickhead and the league. 

Brandon
I appreciate it. 
I wish just once these assholes would feel as powerless as we do.

Eric Bennett
I know you do.
Maybe one day you’ll be the coach and show them how it should be done. 

Brandon
Not the worst idea you’ve ever had. 
You should come over for dinner when you're here next month. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, that sounds great. 

May 2021
Game 3: Admirals @ Centaurs, 8pm Tonight!
New York leads series 2-0

Ilya Rozanov: Boy Detective
Brandon
What supervillain do you think is hunting me?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Roger Crowell

*

Wiebe/Eric Sidebar
Brandon
It might have been a mistake to downplay our friendship when Roz asked

Eric Bennett
Speak for yourself. I’m having a great time.
Did I tell you he keeps texting Kyle to try to get him to spill the beans? 

Brandon
The longer we draw it out, the worse he’s going to get

Eric Bennett
I know. But I also love that he can’t figure it out. 
He always figures it out. It’s so annoying.

Brandon
He keeps staring at me when I’m working with Wyatt. 
Like seeing me with a goalie is going to unlock the secret or something 

Eric Bennett
Creepy.

Brandon
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING!!!

Eric Bennett
If it’s making your life harder we can tell him.   

*

Ilya Rozanov: Boy Detective
Brandon
Roz, would it be imposing if your Coach came to coach at your camps this summer?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
You want to spend your summer coaching kids?

Brandon
Sure. I was a peewee coach last year. I miss working with kids.
They’re easier to wrangle than my current players.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Rude. 
But possibly true. We all know what a menace Haas is. 

Eric Bennet
Yeah, Haas is the problem child.

Brandon
Anyway, if Benny’s gonna be at your camps, I want to be there too. 

Eric Bennett
I’m regretting it but I’ll be there

Brandon
We haven’t been to camp together since, what?

Eric Bennett
1995

Brandon
I thought it was ‘93

Eric Bennett
That’s when we started. You said since. 

Brandon
Oh. Then yeah. '95 sounds right.

Ilya Rozanov is typing

Brandon
You ok there, Roz?

Ilya Rozanov is typing

Eric Bennett
Did we break him?

Ilya Rozanov is typing

Brandon
We might have

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
1993!!!

Eric Bennett
Don’t they have hockey camps in Russia? 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes, but the people I played with were dicks. 
I do not meet them for dinner 25 years later

Eric Bennett
Well most of the guys at our camp were dicks too. 

Brandon
It’s sort of how we became friends.

Eric Bennett
And why it was a good idea to stay in touch with someone who wasn’t an asshole

Brandon
A Decent Dude, if you will

Eric Bennett
Don’t start, Brando

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
You have inside jokes! 

Eric Bennett
Of course we have inside jokes
We’ve been friends for almost 30 years

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Your inside jokes are a million years old! 
Do you have pictures?

Brandon
Come on, Roz

Eric Bennett
Absolutely not

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
But baby coach and baby Bennett! 
I bet you were so cute! 

Eric Bennett
This is why we didn’t tell you

Brandon
We were kind of cute, Benny.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Just one picture
To prove this

Brandon
Focus on the game. 

Eric Bennett
Yeah, do your job and forget about ever seeing any pictures. 

Brandon
If I see the team put together and ready to win a hockey game when I walk into the locker room tonight, I’ll see what I can dig up. 

Eric Bennett
Brando! 

Brandon
That means Choinard has both of his gloves and Wyatt isn’t still looking for his tape 30 seconds before puck drop.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
YES!!

Eric Bennett
No!

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Is motivation! 

Eric Bennett
Motivation to beat my guys?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Ah. You are scared they will lose this game.
You should be. 

Brandon
I need the team in uniform and fired up by 7:15. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
🫡

*

Ilya
[Video]

Coach Wiebe
Ok. As promised. 
[Image: Eric and Brandon at summer camp, arms around each other mid-laugh, 1995]

Bennet
Ugh. I hate you. 

Ilya
Coach! 
You are a baby! 

Coach Wiebe
Yeah, yeah.

Ilya
Bennett! Were you also in boy band?

Bennett
Fuck off. 

Ilya
But you are so cute!

Coach Wiebe
Ok, Roz. Time to focus. 

Fucking Rozanov
So Kyle was not first teenage boy you had crush on?

Eric
Fuck all the way off, Rozanov

*

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Does Bennett know you had crush on him?

Brandon
What?!

Chapter End Notes

End Notes:
We want to remind you that DoubleDecker hates reading angst so much she’s NEVER reread the tripping scene and aftermath in the Long Game because “it’s too upsetting” (despite rereading the book no fewer than 15 times).
DoubleDecker: I accidentally made the rookie crying in the car suicidal but I pulled it back.
SugMak: “I don't like angst,” she says as she makes everyone clinically depressed and suicidal. Jeez. Cheer up, DD, it's only existential dread and systematic abuse.

While we’ve given you a treat of two chapters at once, we did this both for narrative reasons and because it might be longer than usual before we can post the next chapter. SugMak is moving/going on a half-country road trip next week. You are so wonderful and we don’t want to leave you hanging for longer than necessary but if it’s a few weeks, we want you to know why. Hopefully SugMak doesn’t arrive at her new home to find that all the characters have fallen into the pit of despair while DoubleDecker is left to her own devices.

Chapter 17: Proud Papa Energy

Chapter Notes

We’re back! Thanks for your patience! SugMak learned when she moved to her new place that her brand new landlord is more of a do-it-yourselfer than an actual contractor and, long story short, it took longer than even she had catastrophized to get her internet set up. The good news is, this week we’re not only in the same time zone but IN THE SAME ROOM! With wifi! And it turns out this is so much easier when we’re sitting next to each other. We’re hoping this will let us knock some shit out for you.

May 2021

Ilya was leaning against the wall next to the door in the parking garage when Brandon left the building after the win in game three. He had a bit of déjà vu, finding Roz in that position after Pride Night, except he didn’t have a cigarette in his hand tonight. 

Those moments of sadness that Brandon had seen in Roz earlier in the season had completely disappeared in the last couple of months. Lately all Brandon saw was a focused hockey player and a playful man. The silliness of Roz trying to suss out his friendship with Benny was just another sign of that weight lifted. Ilya had sent that last text about Brandon’s teenage crush right before the game. Brandon hadn’t thought too much about the picture when he sent it - it was one of his favorites from that summer and he had kept it framed in his room probably until he got traded to Detroit. But he should have realized that Ilya would pick up on the crush. Benny had warned him how perceptive Roz was and looking at the photo now, his heart eyes were pretty obvious. 

Luckily when Ilya showed up on the bench before the game and raised one eyebrow at Brandon, he had accepted the amused shake of his head and dropped it. Then he went on to dominate all night, so Brandon couldn’t be too mad about anything. 

Leaning against the wall now, Ilya looked relaxed and content. Brandon thought about the conversation they had had standing in this exact spot on Pride Night often - both of them probably having similar complicated feelings about not being out without realizing it. While Brandon hadn’t actively thought about coming out during the push to the playoffs, he’d talked about it with his wife. They were still strategizing for any blow-back, but he knew they were on the same page. When the time was right, they’d be ready.

“You ok, Ilya?” he asked. He looked fine but there wasn’t any reason for him to be standing around the parking lot. 

“Yes, Coach. I am just waiting for-” the door to the garage opened at that moment and Ilya’s face lit up like Brandon had never seen before, even when Chiron was around. “Them,” Ilya said, as Shane Hollander walked out of the door with two people who had to be his parents. All three of them were wearing Centaurs jerseys. It was weird to see Hollander in a hockey sweater that wasn’t Montreal’s.

Ilya stretched out an arm and Hollander slotted under it while Ilya leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. Shane stiffened almost imperceptibly and shot his gaze to Brandon. That was… did he think Brandon was going to be a jerk about the two of them? Had Ilya not told him that Brandon was bi? He gave Shane what he hoped was a supportive smile and watched him relax and lean into Ilya. 

He realized, with a sinking heart, that Hollander had no reason to think Brandon - or anyone else in the league - would be an ally by default. No queer player did. Despite Hunter’s best efforts, it hadn’t been normalized on most teams. Ilya gave Shane a little squeeze, maybe understanding that he needed the reassurance that Brandon was safe. 

“Coach, this is Shane, David, and Yuna Hollander,” Ilya said, unnecessarily pointing everyone out. The grin never left his face. 

“It’s great to meet you all,” Brandon said. “Thanks for coming out to support us tonight. I know your loyalties must be pretty divided so it means a lot.”

Yuna’s eyes went flinty. 

“Oh, they’re not that divided,” she said, severely. Brandon blinked at her, taken aback by her vehemence. He glanced at Ilya for a moment. They wouldn’t have come here to root against-

“What Yuna means is that we’re very happy to cheer you on,” David clarified. 

“That isn’t what I meant,” Yuna said under her breath. Ilya snorted. She gave him an innocent look. “What? They’re shitheads. I know you agree with me,” she said to Ilya. Hollander looked away with an expression on his face that Brandon couldn’t decipher. His heart went out to the guy. 

“Of course I agree with you, mama-medveditsa. I have always said this,” Ilya said.

David rolled on, ignoring their commentary.

“We’re so glad to finally meet you, Coach. We appreciate how supportive you’ve been of our-” David glanced toward Hollander and Roz, “of Ilya.”

This man was oozing “proud papa” energy. Brandon was delighted to see for himself how wrong he’d been to think that Ilya had no family. 

“The pleasure is mine. I love meeting my players’ families.”

Ilya’s smile got improbably wider, and Shane gave Ilya a look filled with such love, Brandon could feel it coming off of him in waves. God, how much must it have sucked to hide as long as they had?

“It was a great win,” David said. 

“You’re still leaving the passing lanes open on the left side,” Yuna added. 

“Mom,” Shane said, cheeks flaming red. He turned to him. “I’m sorry about my mother, Coach. She has… a lot of opinions about hockey.”

“You would not know anything about having opinions about our passing lanes?” Ilya asked Shane with one eyebrow raised. 

“Not that I’d say to your coach!” Shane said, defensively. Brandon chuckled. 

“I don’t mind. You’re right,” he said looking at Yuna. “We’ve gotta work on that.”

“See?” Yuna said with a smug smile. 

“We are going to dinner,” Ilya said. “Would you like to join us?”

“Nah, I gotta get home. We let the kids stay up to watch the game and they’re waiting for me. I’ll see you tomorrow, Roz.”

“Yes, we must close the passing lanes,” Ilya said with a wink and a nod toward Yuna. “Our defense will be brick wall. Impenetrable!”

Shane snorted, which, Brandon knew from experience, would only egg Ilya on. 

“It was great to meet you all,” he said, not willing to get sucked up in more of Ilya’s antics tonight. He wanted to get home to his family. He heard Roz going on as he walked toward his car. 

“We will play Dykstra’s music through the speaker and score while they are all covering their ears!” 

"We should record you singing in the shower if you want to make that the strategy,” Shane said dryly. 

Ilya gasped in indignation. “So mean, Hollander! I am crushed! Yuna, tell your second favorite son how beautiful my singing is!”

“I would, but we’ve always tried not to lie to him so…” 

“Betrayal!”

“I think you have a very nice voice, Ilya,” David said, in a placating tone. 

Brandon smiled as he listened to Ilya’s and the Hollanders’ voices and laughter fade. It was a good sound to hear - Ilya was clearly comfortable and happy with the Hollanders. He’d obviously been hiding more than just his relationship with Shane. He’d also been hiding a whole family. 

And thinking about how Shane stiffened because Ilya kissed him... Ilya had dropped hints that Hollander’s coach had been a dickhead when they were outed, so Brandon couldn’t exactly blame the guy for bracing himself. But it still bugged him. And weirdly, made him feel guilty. Sure he married a woman but he just as easily could have been in Shane and Ilya’s situation.

He got into his car, connected his phone to the speakers and dialed Benny before he pulled out of the parking lot. Eric picked up on the second ring. 

“I’m not speaking to you,” he said. 

Brandon’s lips twitched. “Can you not speak to me later? I have a serious question.” 

“Fine. But don’t think you’re off the hook for sending him that picture,” Eric said. 

“I would never,” Brandon said. He paused, unsure how to ask this question.

“You still there?” Eric asked. 

“Yeah, I’m… Do you think I’m making things worse for queer players by being a straight-presenting ally instead of coming out?”

“What? No! Of course not. Why would you say that?”

“I just met Hollander. Actually, I met the whole Hollander family - all three of them came to the game.”

“I’ve met Shane’s parents a couple of times at some awards stuff. They’re nice people,” Eric said. “Well, his dad is nice. His mom is too, but she has opinions,” he said. Brandon could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah, I noticed,” Brandon said with his own smile. “Anyway, there was this moment when Ilya just gave Hollander a kiss - nothing crazy just a hello - and Shane seemed to brace himself for me to be an asshole.”

Eric sighed. “I can’t say I’m too surprised by that, given everything.”

“Yeah, but that’s my point. Maybe he wouldn’t have been if he knew I was bi.”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean you’re making things worse. Just ask Troy how Coach Cooper would have reacted to his coming out,” Eric said. It was a good point but didn’t really make Brandon feel better.

“I don’t think ‘not as bad as Bruce Cooper’ is really where I want to set the bar, Benny.”

“Obviously. But I think you’re underselling yourself and what you’ve done for Troy. And Roz.”

“Fine, I’m not actively making things worse,” Brandon conceded. “And maybe I’m in a good position to protect my players-”

“Maybe?!” said Eric incredulously.

“-and coming out might threaten how much I could push back against the league.”

“By a lot,” Eric said.

“But telling Roz - I think that really helped him. I could still be making things better than I am for other guys, too, in that way.” 

“There’s a difference between coming out to one queer player and coming out to the world, Brando.”

“Gee, thanks. These are exactly the kinds of brilliant insights I called you for.” 

“They don’t call me college-boy for nothing,” Eric quipped. 

“Okay, well I worked that one out on my own, Mr. Harvard.”

“Fine Mr. Quixote, but before you suit up to take on your next windmill-

“I regret invoking Harvard now.”

“My point is, are you thinking about it for you or out of some… moral righteousness?”

“Moral righteousness?” said Brandon, amused. 

“Yes! You’ve always tried to make things better for players, even when it was hard. But it’s usually on other people’s behalf. There are ways that would make your life a lot harder.”

“I got in this to do the hard things.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” Eric said dryly. Brandon snorted. “And you’ve been doing them. But - and it might be shitty for me to say this - it’s not just your life that will be harder. It might blow back on your family.”

“Yeah. That’s one of my concerns,” Brandon admitted. “My wife and I have talked about it. A lot.” 

“You’ve been thinking about this for a while?” Benny asked. 

“Since Troy came out,” Brandon told him. “That night made me realize, there’s a real movement happening in the NHL. And the thing is… it’s my movement too.”

“Of course it is - I know that.”

“I know you know that. But I hate that other people don't.”

Eric hummed in acknowledgement. He was the one who reminded Brandon this was his movement in the first place, back in February. “How much is it weighing on you?” Benny asked.

“I don’t know. When I came back to coach I thought… ‘well I don’t have to hide anything. I just don’t have to share everything.’”

“Yeah - I lived that for twenty years.”

“Didn’t it bother you?”

Eric’s pause sounded loaded, even over the phone. “I don’t think I let myself think about it too much but if I ever did I usually felt… lucky.” he sounded guilty, like Brandon didn’t know exactly why he’d feel that way.

“I did too - back then. But it’s a different world now. ”

“It is. I’m just saying… or I’m acknowledging that it’s still a big deal, coming out in the NHL. When you came back you said you sounded pretty sure you didn’t want to. Obviously you can change your mind. But it shouldn’t be because you feel guilty that Hollander flinched or you’re angry at the homophobes.” 

Brandon hesitated. 

“Either way, you know I’ll have your back,” Eric added.

There were so many times in the last year he was grateful he had reconnected with Benny. So many ways finally being able to talk about this shit had made his first season of coaching easier - both because he knew Brandon so well but also because he knew hockey so well. This is why he called Benny tonight - to help him untangle all this guilt and anger from the urge to be out and proud. He wanted to be ready to come out but it was hard to know if he actually was. 

He blew out a breath. “I think… maybe not just yet. But I’m getting there.”

“You’ll know it when the time is right. And maybe it goes without saying but - I’ll be with you when it is,” Benny said. 

“You always are.”

“Not always, Brando. What the fuck were you thinking sending Rozanov that picture?”

“Oh, hey, look at that, I’m just pulling into my driveway! Kids are waiting for me! Gotta go!” 

Brandon disconnected the call before Benny could give him more shit. 

Eric Bennett
This isn’t over you fucker.   

Eric was pouring coffee when his phone buzzed on the kitchen island the next morning. Kyle leaned over to look at the message. He knew there were some people that would be bothered by their partner looking at their notifications but it just made him feel warm inside. 

“Brandon wants to know if you’re talking to him yet.”

“I’m not,” Eric said, annoyed all over again. 

Kyle picked up the phone. “I’m… being… a big… baby,” he said slowly while he typed.

“Give me that,” Eric said, grabbing the phone before Kyle could hit send. 

Eric
You gave the most insufferable man alive free ammunition. 
So, no.

Wiebe
I don’t see what the big deal is.

Eric
[Screenshot:
Fucking Rozanov
So Kyle was not first teenage boy you had crush on?
Eric
Fuck all the way off, Rozanov]

Wiebe
That’s how you have him saved in your phone?😄

Eric
Missing the fucking point, Brando.

Wiebe
[Screenshot:
Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Does Bennett know you had crush on him?
Brandon
What?!]

Eric
Were you afraid you were going to forget who he was when you put him in your phone?

Wiebe
You’ve got to hand it to him. He clocked my 16-year-old self’s deep dark secret in 10 seconds flat. 

Eric
I don’t have to hand anything to him.

Wiebe
You know what I’m thinking?

Eric
That if he’s this irritating in English, how much worse would he be in Russian? 

Wiebe
No
Well yes, actually, but 
I’m thinking it’s interesting he didn’t do this in the group chat.
He knows we’ve been friends for decades and he still didn’t risk outing me to you

Eric
Ugh. Yes, fine, you’re right
It makes sense, though. 
He probably knows better than anyone that being friends with someone doesn’t necessarily mean being out to them. 

Wiebe
I’m pretty sure he didn’t even tell Hollander. 

Eric
I’ve told you before. He’s an annoying little shit, but he’s never been a total prick

Wiebe
When I first met him, I think your exact words to me were “He’s such a fucking dick.”
And now he’s been upgraded to an “annoying little shit.”

Eric
What’s your point?

Wiebe
He’s growing on you.

Eric
Absolutely not.

Wiebe
Admit it, you liiiiike him. 

Eric
Shut up. 

Wiebe
Do you want my daughter to make you friendship bracelets?

Eric
No fucking thank you.
[Image: Wiebe’s wrist with a beaded bracelet.]
She’s getting pretty good at them.

Eric
Very cute, but I’ll pass

Wiebe
Do you want yours to say IR+EB=BFF or would you prefer one of those broken heart “best friend” charms?

Eric
I changed my mind. You’re the little shit. 
Rozanov is a terrible influence on you.

Wiebe
It’s like you haven’t known me for 30 years.
As a great woman once said:
Baby I was born this way 😉

Chapter End Notes

(SM sitting on DD’s couch, DD sitting across the room on her armchair)
DoubleDecker: So…. you’re going to kill me
SM: What? No. Safe space. Lay it on me.
DD: [Laughs hysterically for 5 minutes unable to get words out]
SM: What’s wrong with you?
DD: I think we should split this one up too
SM: …
DD: I just mean-
SM: You’re right. I’m gonna kill you
DD: [Cackles EVILLY again]
SM: I’m gonna kill you so dead
DD: If you read the chapter-
SM: DEAD
DD: Just read it
SM: I HAVE READ IT. And… I might… know you’re right
DD: So we separate them?
Sm: No. I REFUSE!
DD: But I’m right!
SM: I’m still gonna shoot the messenger!!!

Chapter 18: Hockey Avengers AKA Decent Dudes…Finally

Chapter Notes

Just so you know, this chapter was originally part of chapter 15. But DoubleDecker kept being like, I think we should break this up, and here we are so many chapters later.
The cycle goes:
DD: We went a little nuts. We need to split this chapter up
SM: No! It’s fine! It’s perfect!
DD: It’s not a chapter. There’s no cohesion!
SM: Well the next bit doesn’t stand alone. We need to add more to it
[we write many words]
DD: We went a little nuts. We need to split this chapter up!

Brandon sat at his desk, going through his notes in preparation for the afternoon skate. He believed in his team but the Admirals had been dominating in the series - even with the win last night. There was a lot of work that needed to be done. Maybe he should consider hiring Yuna Hollander as an assistant - she clocked their defensive weakness better than some of his staff.  As he made his way into the video room, his phone buzzed. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Coach, I just had a visit from Scott Hunter

Brandon
As in the captain of the team we’re currently battling against in the playoffs?
That Scott Hunter?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes
He is the only Scott Hunter I know.
Thankfully.

Brandon
That’s… weird. 
What did he want?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
The usual
Scott Hunter things. You know

Brandon stared at his phone for a moment waiting for more. He wasn’t particularly sure there was a “usual” when it came to captains visiting rival captains during the playoffs. Or for queer hokey icons visiting recently outed players. 

Brandon
You have to know that I don’t 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
You know, “I am sorry you were outed,” “I wanted to check on you,” blah blah blah

Brandon
How terribly lame of him.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes! You understand.

It was amazing how much joy Ilya took in giving Hunter shit. Especially since Brandon knew that Roz had supported Hunter from day one when he came out. 

Brandon
I’m not sure I’ll ever understand your bizarre relationship with Scott Hunter.
Why did he wait until now? 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I think he wanted to make sure Shane was here
Probably he wanted to talk to Shane more than me 
Solidarity among the boring

Brandon
Careful. I might start to think you like him 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I love Shane. I have told you this, I think.

Brandon rolled his eyes at Ilya’s willful misinterpretation.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
This is not why I am texting 
Hunter is putting together a plan to fix hockey

Brandon
What kind of plan?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Like some kind of
What is it 
Those superheroes with a million movies that Hazy loves

Brandon
Avengers?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes. Like the hockey Avengers

Brandon
Okay… 
That’s actually not as helpful as an explanation as you seem to think

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Like save it from assholes like Crowell

Brandon
Save the league from the commissioner of the league?
That’s a pretty tall order

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
Weird idiom. In Russia we just say "that task is not among the easy ones"
But yes “difficult to fulfill"
This is why Hunter thinks we need a group. 

It made perfect sense to Brandon. Hockey was changing in ways he was grateful to be part of. In ways he, frankly, never thought he would be around to see. But as long as Crowell sat at the head of the entire organization, it could only change so much. They would always be swimming against a much stronger current. 

Brandon
Right. The commissioner has a lot of power over players who are in vulnerable positions.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
I think you mean, “the commissioner is an asshole to players who need his support and is fucking things up for everyone.”

Brandon
I’d tell you to meet with legal for advice on what to put in writing.
But I’ve seen the results of the “media training” you’ve received.

Ilya Rozanov (Captain) 
Did I tell you about the time Crowell told Shane not to be too gay in November

Brandon
He did??

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
You are surprised by this?

No, he really wasn’t. Maybe a little surprised by his boldness, though. Usually Crowell couched everything he said in three layers of plausible deniability. 

Brandon
I guess not. 
I’m assuming he was a bit more subtle than that

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Blah blah, it is good that you keep your mouth shut, unlike Hunter. 
It was clear what he meant
If you must be gay, at least shut up about it 

Brandon had to give Ilya credit for his ability to cut through the bullshit. Even if that skill sometimes gave the PR team a collective migraine. 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
When we met with him together Crowell he said we could not be gay at all

Brandon
He actually said that out loud?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
It was implied
Obviously, I am not gay. 
But I was not going to teach him the word “bisexual.” 
Too many syllables for his tiny brain.

Brandon snorted. No, he imagined Crowell couldn’t even say what LGBTQ stood for. 

Brandon
Jesus. I’m sorry.
Is that when you told him to go fuck himself?

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I did nothing! 
It was all Shane.

Brandon
Shane Hollander told the Commissioner to go fuck himself?!

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes!!! 
If we were not already engaged I would have proposed right there. 
In front of Crowell
Gross

Brandon
Disgusting

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
I told you, I am innocent! 

Brandon
No one has ever believed those words coming out of your mouth

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
No faith in your Captain. Is hurtful. 
Where is your bisexual solidarity?

Brandon snorted at his captain’s ridiculousness. Eric warned him, and he was right. “Bisexual solidarity” had become Ilya’s catch-phrase. But only in private texts. 

Brandon
Not that this isn’t one of the more interesting conversations I’ve had all year
But I feel like I should wrangle you back to the topic at hand

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
It is the topic at hand
Is what Hunter wants to fix

Brandon
Sounds ambitious

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes. But maybe possible.
If all of the non-assholes in hockey join together as one 

Fucking A. 

Hunter was putting together his own group of Decent Dudes.  

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
So that when a player criticizes an asshole rapist or calls his coach out for being abusive prick, they are not on their own 
We all stand together

Brandon
Wow
That sounds 
Pretty incredible, actually 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes. He is not all bad, I guess.
Hunter, I mean. Crowell is terrible

Brandon
Thanks for that clarification
So it’s a group that can stand together 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Yes. So fucking shithead commissioners can’t target us individually
I told him you might be interested

Brandon
Heck, yeah, I’m interested. Let Hunter know he can contact me directly if he wants

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Ugh. You do not want this. 
But yes, I will give him your number.
Will give it to his nursing staff so he does not forget. 
You know how they elderly are. 

Brandon
Kid, he’s younger than I am!

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)
Coaches do not get old. 
Everyone knows this. 

Brandon
Tell that to my knees 

Ilya Rozanov (Captain)

Brandon
Good recovery 😂

Hazy
Hey Roz
Why did Hunter want to see you?

Ilya
Yes, we should talk about your willingness to give my address to strange men

Hazy
Oh come on, he’s Hunter. Isn’t he, like, gay hockey Jesus?

Ilya
Ew
Hazy
No

Hazy
What did he want? He said it was important.
It wasn’t anything bad, was it?

Ilya
He wants me to be part of his special club

Hazy
Hunter wants you to be part of his club?
Why didn’t he ask me? I love clubs!

Ilya 
Maybe you are not special enough

Hazy
Is it just for captains?
Oh! 
Is this about the video?

Ilya
Is maybe a little bit about the video 
Hunter wants to make a club for nice hockey players

Hazy
I’M THE NICEST HOCKEY PLAYER!
COME ON! 

Ilya
I’m sure you can join if you want. 
You can keep me awake during boring meetings

Hazy
YESSSSS!
So by club for nice hockey players…
You mean non-homophobic assholes?

Ilya
Or racist assholes. Or abusive assholes.
To stand together when bullshit happens.

Hazy
This is awesome! 

*

Centaurs Team Chat
Hazy
Centaurs!
Hunter is starting the Hockey Avengers!

Bood
What? 
Explain.

Ilya
Hazy. Who is this man?
This is another English idiom?

Hazy
That’s Captain America!
The leader of the Avengers
Most of the time

Ilya
Does he play hockey? I have not seen him.

Hazy
Roz.
Come on.
The Avengers.

Ilya
Are they new team? Where do they play?

Bood
While I could watch Roz toy with Hazy’s emotions all day, I’d like a little more info on what exactly you’re talking about.
What’s Hunter trying to start?

Ilya
Is like club for nice hockey players

Hazy
Roz isn’t explaining it right

Ilya
I explained it to you, asshole

Hazy
It’s a group to fight hockey crime

Ilya
Yes, this is much better explanation 🙄

Hazy
To come together and fight against the shitheads in hockey

Young
Like Fjellman? He checked me into the boards so hard last month I swear my shoulder still feels sore

Chouinard
Your shoulder feels sore from doing keg-stands with Holmberg last week.
Like an idiot. 

Young
Oh is this like a gay thing?

Ilya
A gay thing?
This feels very ignorant.
I am disappointed. 

Young
What?! No! 
I just meant
Because he’s Hunter and with the video…

Chouinard
Roz is bi, doofus

Dillon
Dude. 
The B is not silent in LGBTQ

Hazy
Dude. 😂
Look at you!

Barrett
Did you google bisexual?

Dillon
I mean. Yeah?
The Trevor Project has a website! It’s pretty good at explaining stuff.

Barrett
That’s actually…
Really cool

Boyle
So, Hunter’s not-gay thing?

Ilya
I am sure his thing is very gay. 
I do not like to think about it.

Barrett
🙄

Ilya
But the group is not just that. 
Is fighting back against all abusive pricks. Racists. Homophobes. Rapists.