Preface
byzantine
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/78674071.
- Rating:
- Mature
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Categories:
- Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
- Fandoms:
- Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
- Relationships:
- Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike/Jackie Pike, Ilya Rozanov & Hayden Pike
- Characters:
- Shane Hollander, Hayden Pike, Hayden Pike's Children, Ilya Rozanov, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Shane Hollander's Nurse from Episode: s01e05 (Heated Rivalry), Jackie Pike, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Ruby Pike, Jade Pike, Arthur Pike, Amber Pike
- Additional Tags:
- shayden discussed as a concept but there is no shayden, Bisexual Hayden Pike, bi4bi hayden/jackie, Coming Out, Texting, Bi-Erasure, Closeted Shane Hollander, POV Hayden Pike, Angst, Good Friend Hayden Pike, Good Friend Shane Hollander, Hurt/Comfort, hayden has a bit of a crush on both of them but that's all, Hayden Pike Finds Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, POV Multiple, BAMF Jackie Pike, Bisexual Jackie Pike, jackie pike uses they/she pronouns, Episode: s01e04 Rose (Heated Rivalry), Episode: s01e05 I'll Believe in Anything (Heated Rivalry), Implied/Referenced Sex, just a little
- Language:
- English
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-01-31 Updated: 2026-08-24 Words: 17,660 Chapters: 17/?
byzantine
Summary
Hayden: it's just. you know i love Jackie.
Shane: Hayden, people on the International Space Station know you love Jackie.
Hayden: And it means nobody looks too hard at my private life
Shane has read this message
Hayden: if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else?
~~~
Hayden comes out to Shane after the aquarium. Shane comes out to Hayden after tuna melts. Hayden helps Shane (and by extension Ilya) deal with the Tuna Melt Emotional Fallout. Hayden & Ilya (and Yuna & David) visit Shane in the hospital.
Now with added Jackie POV!
Notes
fanfic has gotten me into Hayden Pike so here we are. thank you fanfic <3
content notice for Hayden bi-erasing himself and for coming-out-related angst (or "baby gay shane anxiety" in koala_bell's words). Rated between T and M for curse words and sex references.
- Inspired by the eternal optimist by mockingb
"Hayden, are you saying that you find me attractive?"
Wait. What?
Since when does Shane make jokes like this? Or, like, acknowledge the existence of queerness?
And no, Hayden isn't into Shane, but he's a bi guy with eyes. Not that anybody knows that. After he married Jackie, love of his life, light of his eyes, nobody really questioned that part of him -- or of her. Jackie jokes about women with him, and he jokes about men with her, and everyone else just assumes they're straight.
Now, he wonders if Shane saw anything. Shane wouldn't out him. Right?
Hayden hasn't felt the walls of the closet closing in in a long time. He can speak freely about Jackie and the kids at work. He doesn't really need everybody to know any more than that. But sometimes he really wishes he could join Jackie and the WAGs when they talk about hot guys. It's the worst when Jackie says something scandalous about a woman, and the WAGs all shriek with delight. They never think of it as anything newsworthy. Hayden's not even sure whether they think of Jackie as bi, or just as a straight woman who says shit sometimes.
Which is its own kind of sad.
Hayden tries for a neutral, straight bro response, and ends up with something like "if I were a woman I'd be all over you."
Great. Now he really sounds repressed and bisexual.
Shane just smiles, though, not commenting further, and they stroll on through the aquarium.
Maybe Shane doesn't know, after all. How would he, anyway? Hayden's been careful around him, more out of habit than anything else. It's not like he's ever heard Shane say anything homophobic, or spill someone else's secrets.
Maybe he wouldn't care. Hayden could... come out? As what, exactly? Bi but married to a woman? Will Shane even see that as different from being straight and married to a woman? Does Hayden want Shane to see it as different?
Just then, though, Ruby runs off, Jade immediately following, and Hayden curses. "Swear jar," Shane says. Hayden flips him off, shoves Arthur into his arms, and runs after his older two. Shane holds Arthur as expertly as he does everything else, bouncing him a little and securing him at his hip.
He wrangles the twins and returns to Arthur and Shane to find two kids asking Shane for an autograph. They don't recognize Hayden, which he's gonna chirp Shane about later, but the real shock comes when one of the kids looks at Hayden and says "Can you hold his baby?"
Wait a minute. Time out. His baby?
Shane glances over at him, amusement dancing in his eyes. He hands over Arthur, who (Hayden notices) has been totally calm and relaxed in Shane's arms. Hayden takes his son back with bad grace. Leave it to Shane to look more parental than Arthur's actual dad.
Shane takes pity on Hayden and clarifies, "It's his baby."
"Is he your husband?"
Hayden sees a strange expression cross Shane's eyes, there and then gone. A second later, Shane chuckles. "No. This is my teammate, Hayden Pike. This little guy here is Arthur Pike." Ruby and Jade introduce themselves as well, and soon the kids are asking for a picture with Shane, Hayden, and the kids. Hayden tells them that Ruby, Jade, and Arthur don't do pictures, which the young fans take with good grace, and Ruby takes a photo with Shane and Hayden in it. The kids say thank you and goodbye and run off.
Shane and Hayden walk to the car, bantering about how Hayden can't keep track of his kids. They sort out all the carseats, Shane hugs Hayden goodbye, and they go their separate ways.
Hayden can't stop thinking about it, though. Is he your husband? What was that look on Shane's face? It didn't look like surprise, or shock, or disgust. It looked like... longing, maybe? Quickly concealed?
Fuck, did Shane like him?
No way. No way, right? Shane had always treated him like a brother. But he never hung out with anyone else, and he always rebuffed attempts to set him up with anyone...
Hayden talks to Jackie, and Jackie tells him to just ask Shane. So he does.
Hayden: hey man
Shane: hi hayden
Hayden: thanks again for coming to the aquarium. the kids had a great time, you're so good with them!
Shane: They're a delight! Thanks for inviting me!
Hayden: Listen, I just wanted to check in... you looked kinda weird when those kids asked you if we were together.
Shane has read this message.
Hayden: I mean, Jackie says I should just ask, so um. Are you into me? Is that why you asked if I found you attractive?
Hayden: shit
Hayden: I'm sorry
Hayden: I shouldn't have asked that
Hayden: Fuck.
Hayden: Ignore me.
Shane: ...
Shane: ...
Shane: Why are you asking me this?
Hayden: I mean it's okay if you are! I. god I sound so arrogant, don't I.
Hayden: sorry. I know you're not.
Shane: I'm not. I was making a joke, Pike.
Hayden: i know. Sorry, Shane
Hayden: I'm sorry. I think... you were so good with the kids and you really looked like you could be their dad and I think they just hit a nerve.
Shane: ??
Hayden: ...
Shane: Hey, you're good with them too. Better than me, it's not even a contest. You're their dad!
Hayden: I know. I know.
Shane: Hayden, are you okay?
Hayden takes a breath. It's time. If anyone on the Voyageurs will be okay with this, it's Shane. He tests the waters.
Hayden: The way those kids just assumed we were together instead of that we were -- brothers, or friends, or whatever. And they were just totally chill about it.
Shane: Don't think I look like your brother
Hayden: Shut up. You could be. But my point is, it wasn't like that when we were growing up
Hayden: it's just. you know i love Jackie.
Shane: Hayden, people on the International Space Station know you love Jackie.
Hayden: And it means nobody looks too hard at my private life
Shane has read this message
Hayden: if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else?
Shane: I promise.
Hayden: I'm b
Hayden: byzantine
Hayden: FUCK YOU AUTOCOMPLETE
Hayden: Byzantine
Hayden: BISEXUAL
Shane has read this message.
Hayden: Shane?
Hayden: Please say something
Hayden: You can't tell anyone
Shane: ...have you been researching the Byzantine Empire?
Hayden: what?
Shane: Why does your autocomplete default to Byzantine?
Hayden: I don't write "bisexual" a lot!
Hayden: What if my autocomplete learned that and I sent it to the group chat?!
Shane: yeah that's why I have my autocomplete off.
Hayden: what are you hiding in your autocomplete shane hollander
Shane: lol no nothing! I just mean that I don't want autocomplete errors in my texts to the team. I write better than autocomplete.
Shane: And Hayden, thank you for telling me. It means a lot. I won't tell anyone. I love you.
Hayden: I love you too.
Hayden: Platonically.
Shane: Likewise.
Shane: Does anyone else know?
Hayden: Just Jackie
Shane: Well I'm here if you want to talk
Hayden: Did you know?
Shane: that you were bisexual?
Hayden: Yeah
Shane: No
Hayden: I mean, there's no bi hockey players, right
Shane: I suppose not
Hayden: and it's not like it matters, like, jackie and i love each other, it's just like
Hayden: it gets lonely sometimes
Hayden: i guess
Hayden: fuck
Shane has read this message.
Shane: ...
Shane:
Shane: ...
Shane:
Shane: ...
Shane:
Shane: ...
Shane reacted 🫂 to this message.
Chapter End Notes
Shane's pining after the easy use of the word "husband," and so is Hayden a little bit.
Shoutout to all the Pike-family-centric fic and texting fics that have loosely inspired this. There was one in particular where Hayden clocks the little joke-flirt at the aquarium as being far more (ahem) heated than anything Shane's ever said about a woman, which was the main inspiration for this. I can't find which one it is so if anybody knows please tell me. [Edit: got it now! it's the eternal optimist by mockingb
! go check it out!!]
Chapter 2: it just gets lonely sometimes
Chapter Summary
Shane's POV
Chapter Notes
Shane walks through the aquarium with Hayden, Jade, Ruby, and (perched on Hayden's shoulders) Arthur.
"So Jackie has this friend..." Hayden's saying.
Shane's stomach sinks. Not another one. He knows, logically, that Hayden's trying to help, but every time he has to turn one of Hayden and Jackie's setups down, he worries about what to say. How to discourage them without, essentially, sounding like he's either gay or ace or aro or in love with someone else. It doesn't help that one of those is true. (He's not in love with Rozanov. Obviously. And while he'd thought he might be aroace for a while, he'd immediately realized his error when -- well. Anyway. It is difficult to find plausibly straight ways to dissuade Hayden, is the point.)
"Why on earth not? You're young, you're rich, you're famous, you... look like you."
And Shane's so comfortable here, around Hayden and the kids and the deep water of the aquarium walls that he opens his thrice-damned mouth and jokes, "Hayden, are you saying that you find me attractive?"
Fuck. Wait. Did that sound gay? No, right? Straight guys made jokes like that, right? Wait, was it homophobic for a straight guy to say that? Did that make him --
And Shane realizes, suddenly, that he has no idea. He'd played the role of a straight guy so long he'd started to believe it. It's a bit of a surprise to remember that he's... not. And, moreover, that he never has been.
Hayden seems momentarily thrown, and then replies, "Hey man, if I were a woman I'd be all over you."
Okay. Hayden doesn't seem upset or suspicious. Good. Right? But Hayden doesn't speak again for a while, and Shane spirals quietly.
The moment is broken when Ruby runs off, dragging Jade with her, and Hayden curses. "Swear jar," Shane chides, taking Arthur from him as Hayden runs after the twins.
"Tell your dad to lay off my love life," he informs Arthur. Arthur bats at his face, and Shane's heart twists a little. He presses a quick kiss to the top of Arthur's head. Arthur babbles happily.
Then two young fans mistake Shane for Arthur's dad and Hayden for Shane's husband.
Normally, if someone had said that, Shane would assume they were messing with him, making some vague homophobic joke that he doesn't know how to respond to. But these kids seem to be in earnest. Furthermore, they look like they've said nothing more interesting than "how's the weather." There are no suppressed grins, no hidden mics.
Did kids these days really just... do that? Grow up with the idea that two men taking care of a group of kids are more likely to be husbands than friends or brothers? Never in the history of Shane Hollander's storied career has a hockey fan genuinely, neutrally, calmly assumed that he was gay. As an insult, sure. As a conspiracy theory online, sure.
As a natural assumption when he kisses a baby and hands said baby off to the man beside him? Never.
It's... nice.
Shane laughs off the moment and tells them no, taking the opportunity to introduce them to Hayden, whom they hadn't recognized in his incarnation as minivan dad. Shane looks different out of hockey gear too, but he's in enough advertisements that the world knows his face. Hayden can usually go incognito when he's not in his jersey.
("Because he is bland," Rozanov had once declared. "Bland and terrible at hockey."
"You say I'm bland."
"No. You are boring. Not bland. Is big difference," he'd insisted sharply, climbing onto Shane to look him right in the face.
"Okay. I'm boring."
"Yes," Rozanov had said, and had kissed him.)
They leave the aquarium, chirping each other gently, and all seems normal. He and Hayden bundle the kids into the car, and he hugs Hayden goodbye, and he goes home.
A few hours later, the texts start coming.
They start out ordinary, and then:
Hayden: Listen, I just wanted to check in... you looked kinda weird when those kids asked you if we were together.
Wait. What? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT DOES HE KNOW
Hayden: I mean, Jackie says I should just ask, so um. Are you into me? Is that why you asked if I found you attractive?
Oh god, oh no, Shane's read his friend all wrong. Hayden's one of those guys who can't have a gay friend without thinking said friend is into them, or will harass them, or will look at them in the locker room, or --
Shane barely registers Hayden's followup texts.
Hayden: shit
Hayden: I'm sorry
Hayden: I shouldn't have asked that
Hayden: Fuck.
Hayden: Ignore me.
Shane, to put it mildly, has no fucking idea what to do. Does Hayden know? It sounds like Hayden knows, right? Fuck. But if he doesn't know, Shane can't give it away now.
What would a straight person say?
No, what would a straight male hockey player say?
He'd probably be offended, right? Say something affronted and at least mildly homophobic? But Shane doesn't want to do that either. But he has to say something, say it fast --
Shane: Why are you asking me this?
It's neutral. It puts Hayden on the spot. It's all his mom's media training turned backwards -- designed to make Hayden the subject of questioning instead of Shane.
He hopes to God it works.
Hayden: I mean it's okay if you are! I. god I sound so arrogant, don't I.
It's okay if he is? Hayden thinks he's being arrogant? What?
Hayden: sorry. I know you're not.
Shane feels like he's managed to step out of the way of a speeding train. Heart still pounding with the aftereffects of the fight-or-flight response, Shane takes the out, tersely and professionally.
Shane: I'm not. I was making a joke, Pike.
As soon as he hits send:
Hayden: i know. Sorry, Shane
Shane closes his eyes. He's shaking now, crashing from the adrenaline rush. He feels like getting under the covers and crying for a few hours.
Hayden: I'm sorry. I think... you were so good with the kids and you really looked like you could be their dad and I think they just hit a nerve.
Shane doesn't even know what's going on right now. But Hayden's not asking him dangerous questions anymore, so despite his exhaustion, he switches into supportive friend mode with relief. He just needs to get through this conversation.
Shane: Hey, you're good with them too. Better than me, it's not even a contest. You're their dad!
Hayden: I know. I know.
Get to the point, Hayden, Shane thinks irritably, before realizing that he can, in fact, push along this conversation.
Shane: Hayden, are you okay?
There. Cut to the chase, Hayden.
Hayden: The way those kids just assumed we were together instead of that we were -- brothers, or friends, or whatever. And they were just totally chill about it.
Okay, that was eerie. That was what Shane had been thinking. He latches onto the only part of the sentence that makes sense and makes a lame joke about not looking enough like Hayden to be his brother.
Hayden: Shut up. You could be. But my point is, it wasn't like that when we were growing up
Okay. What in the actual world is Hayden talking about?
Hayden: it's just. you know i love Jackie.
Shane desperately cracks another joke, hoping it will lead this conversation anywhere else, anywhere that makes sense, anywhere that isn't... that isn't his best friend telling him that they've both been together in the closet all this time, unable to see each other's faces because they've got their eyes screwed shut and the damn league won't turn on a light.
But Hayden's still typing.
Hayden: And it means nobody looks too hard at my private life
Okay. This might be happening. Shane's world has narrowed to the screen of his phone.
Hayden: if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else?
And of course, Shane says --
Shane: I promise.
Because as much as Hayden coming out would tear apart the foundation of every safety measure Shane's created for himself, would force him to reevaluate what he's put himself through, what he's put himself and Rozanov through, what he's maybe put Hayden through... Shane will never not listen to Hayden's secrets.
And he thinks maybe he needs to hear it as much as Hayden needs to say it.
Hayden: I'm b
Hayden: byzantine
Hayden: FUCK YOU AUTOCOMPLETE
Hayden: Byzantine
Hayden: BISEXUAL
Okay. So it's real.
Hayden: Shane?
Hayden: Please say something
Hayden: You can't tell anyone
And Shane shakes himself out of his trance, realizing he's kept Hayden waiting for a response.
God. What does he say?
His eyes float back up the texts as he tries to think of something that'll reassure Hayden without sounding like it's from Queer Allyship for Dummies(TM).
Shane: ...have you been researching the Byzantine Empire?
Hayden: what?
A grin spreads across Shane's face.
Shane: Why does your autocomplete default to Byzantine?
Hayden: I don't write "bisexual" a lot!
Hayden: What if my autocomplete learned that and I sent it to the group chat?!
Shane beams, imagining Hayden laughing with mock-indignation. He did it. He and Hayden are good. He didn't lose his best friend.
It makes him careless.
Shane: yeah that's why I have my autocomplete off.
A moment after he sends it:
Hayden: what are you hiding in your autocomplete shane hollander
Fuck. Rewind. Casual. Fuck. Heterosexual. Vanilla. FUCK.
Shane: lol no nothing! I just mean that I don't want autocomplete errors in my texts to the team. I write better than autocomplete.
There. He does write better than autocomplete, so it's not a complete lie. He quickly moves on to tell Hayden the boring important things: he loves him, he won't tell anyone. (Boring, he thinks, and wonders why he chose that word, and why his mind says it in a voice that's not quite his.)
Hayden: I love you too.
Hayden: Platonically.
Shane smiles.
Shane: Likewise.
Shane: Does anyone else know?
Hayden: Just Jackie
Shane: Well I'm here if you want to talk
Hayden: Did you know?
Shane: that you were bisexual?
Hayden: Yeah
Shane: No
Hayden: I mean, there's no bi hockey players, right
Ilya, Shane thinks, unbidden. He should talk to Ilya.
He should talk to me.
He is talking to me.
I should talk to him.
Shane could tell him.
Shane can't tell him.
Shane: I suppose not
Hayden: and it's not like it matters, like, jackie and i love each other, it's just like
Hayden: it gets lonely sometimes
Hayden: i guess
Hayden: fuck
Shane stares at the message for a long time.
He types:
I think there probably are
He erases. He types:
I can't tell you who but you're not alone
He tries:
This is going to sound crazy but
He types:
I've been fucking Ilya Rozanov since the summer before rookie season. I'm
gay
bi
qu
I don't know what I
in love wi
not
He's b
byzantine too
he
I've been fucking Ilya Rozanov for six years and I think I like him maybe a little too much. He is bisexual and I am not straight and you have never been alone.
Shane stares at the unsent message.
He erases it.
He sends a hug reaction instead, puts his phone down, pulls the covers all the way over his head, and closes his eyes.
Chapter End Notes
Shoutout to The reassuring quiet of boring days by mareastralis
which inspired the use of "boring" in this fic.
Chapter 3: literature, huh?
Chapter Summary
interlude ft. RWRB
The next time Hayden and Shane share a hotel room, Hayden changes in the bathroom. He's never normally self-conscious about stripping in front of any of his teammates, but since he came out to Shane, he's been a little on edge. It's not like Shane was going to be weird, but Hayden had clumsily suggested that Shane might like him, which had to have made his friend at least a little uncomfortable. He doesn't want to risk Shane thinking he's trying to, like, flash him.
Shane doesn't act any different though, just leaves for his usual "definitely not hooking up with Boston Lily" trip. Hayden waves goodbye and then settles in with the audiobook of Red, White and Royal Blue. He and Jackie have been debating whether or not Henry and Alex would get along with them. Hayden says yes. Jackie says no. Actually, Jackie says both Alex and Henry fold their laundry and Hayden should try that too. Anyway. The audiobook is getting to a good bit. Something about a portrait of Alexander Hamilton.
Chapter 4: after tuna melts
Chapter Notes
Two tuna melts, one ginger ale, and one Coke later:
"I can't do this anymore."
Shane calls a cab and travels back to the hotel room in a daze. He lets himself in without knocking and hears a yelp as Hayden startles and sends his phone flying off the nightstand onto the floor.
"Shane, hey buddy --"
Shane goes straight into the bathroom and shuts the door. A moment later, the water turns on.
Hayden shrugs and closes his eyes again. When he doesn't immediately fall back asleep, he retrieves his phone and puts Red, White, and Royal Blue back on, hoping the soothing voice of the reader will help. As he puts the phone back on the table and closes his eyes, the bathroom door opens. He hears footsteps walking out, and then nothing.
He opens his eyes. Shane is standing over him, pajamas on, hair damp, and looking down at Hayden's phone, which still glows with the pink cover of the book. In the light of the phone screen, he looks, absurdly, like a dazed moth.
"You know it?" Hayden asks.
"Know what?" Shane asks blankly.
"The book --"
"Hayden --"
Shane's voice sounds strange. Like he's about to vomit. Hayden's gaze snaps up to search Shane's face for signs of distress.
He finds them.
"Hey. Hey, Shane. What's happened?" Hayden gets up and guides Shane to his bed, where Shane sits heavily.
"Hayden, I."
And Shane doesn't say anything else. Hayden wracks his brain.
"Did someone hurt you? Did you get sick? Is it Lily?"
This shocks Shane into looking at Hayden.
"What?"
"Lily. That girl you keep texting in Boston? It was her you went to see, right?"
All the fight drains out of Shane at once and he slumps forward, head in his hands.
He's crying. Okay. Hayden was right, maybe.
"Hey. Shane." Hayden sits down gingerly next to him. "Can I hug you?"
Shane shakes his head no, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Can I sit with you?"
No response. Hayden decides to move off Shane's bed and crouches down on the floor instead.
"You want to tell me what's wrong?"
"What book are you listening to?"
Okay. Topic change. Hayden can roll with that. "It's called Red, White, and Royal Blue. It's about the prince of England and the First Son of the United States being in a secret relationship."
Shane raises his head from his hands. "What the fuck is a First Son?"
"President's son," Hayden explains.
"And they have a secret relationship?"
"Yeah. Kinda like you and Lily."
Shane's quiet.
"Maybe a lot like me and Lily," he finally says.
Hayden wrinkles his brow. "You mean Lily's famous too?"
"No. I mean, yes."
And Shane looks up. He feels wrung out, drained of every drop of caring and caution and everything that's kept him safe or held him back. He's tired, so comprehensively, from everything that's happened that day on top of everything that's happened in the past eight years since he signed the CCM deal and got hard looking at the only man who could keep up with him in the showers afterwards, and so he says the thing.
"It's, uh. It's Ilya."
"Who is?"
"Lily. It's -- she's Ilya," And then more quietly, "He's Ilya."
Hayden takes a deep breath, and nods.
"Okay. And what did Ilya do to make you look like this?"
"Rozanov," Shane clarifies, "Ilya Rozanov."
"What did Rozanov do to make you look like this? Because I can fight him for you, you know, if I have to." Hayden sounds perfectly calm, as if it's every day his best friend comes out to him and tells him he's been seeing the captain of their rival team.
"No, no. It's not his fault. I mean. Maybe."
Shane looks down to where Hayden is still squatting awkwardly on the ground, observing him carefully, as though he's another distressed Pike child.
Shane sighs. "Come on. I'll tell you the whole story." He throws off his bedcovers and gets in, snuggling under the hotel duvet. Hayden lifts the blanket to join Shane.
"No, Hayden, I mean come on and go to sleep. In your bed. I'm mad at him, but not that mad."
Hayden splutters. He didn't mean --
"Relax, Hayden," says Shane. "I'm messing with you."
"Thank god," says Hayden, getting into his own bed. "You're hot, but I don't like you like that."
Shane manages a snotty laugh and that, and Hayden grins as he gets comfy in his own bed.
They stare up at the ceiling for a bit. It has a cool texture on it that Hayden traces with his eyes while he waits for Shane to speak.
Shane stares through the ceiling, his mind ruthlessly replaying snatches of the day. I'm making one for me. I can make two. Not as person. Girls. Father. You speak Russian now. Red White and Royal Blue.
Hayden was listening to a romance book about two men. Hayden told Shane he was bi. Hayden was scared to tell Shane he was bi.
"Hayden?"
"Yeah?"
"You won't tell anyone, will you?"
"No! Of course not. You know that, just like I know you won't tell anyone about me."
"It's not the same though."
"How is it not the same?"
"You could deny it. You're married. I can't."
Hayden sighed. "Shane, they'd still say I was a hazard in the locker room. That I tricked my wife. That I'm gay and she's a beard. That I'm straight and looking for attention. It'd still be a mess."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Shane traces a crack down the ceiling with his eyes. He's convinced Hayden won't say anything, but he needs to impress the stakes on him.
"You especially can't tell about Rozanov. He's Russian. It's not just staying in the league for him. He'd be in physical danger."
Hayden takes a deep breath. He knew that, theoretically, but he'd forgotten. He says, serious, "I know. I won't."
"And, uh, I didn't mean to tell you about him, I wasn't supposed to, I really shouldn't have..."
Hayden sighs. "Yeah, but you needed to talk to someone about this. I'm your best friend, which means that's my job, and I'm not going to tell anybody."
"I'll tell him I told you, just... I should have asked him first, but..."
"I won't say anything to him, Shane. Not unless and until you tell me it's okay."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Shane still looks uneasy, so Hayden adds, "Shane. I think we've established that I can keep a secret. Please. Talk to me."
Shane stares up at the crack in the ceiling, tracing it down to where it disappears beneath the floorboards.
"What do you want to know?"
"Whatever you want to tell me."
Shane's quiet. In truth, he doesn't want to tell Hayden anything. But he feels like he'll throw up if he doesn't, so he figures that amounts to something similar.
"He --" Nope. It's too big. Too enormous, eight years of whatever they are (we are not anything, Hollander) crowding together to get out first.
Hayden takes pity on him. "What happened today? Or, you said you'd tell me the whole story, so... where did it start?"
"Saskatchewan."
Hayden waits for more, but nothing is forthcoming.
"Did he break up with you?"
Shane shakes his head.
"Did you break up with him?"
Nothing.
"Did he do something to hurt you?"
"No! He -- he called me by my first name."
Oh.
Yeah. Okay.
"He doesn't normally do that?"
"No! It's always -- Hollander."
"When did he call you --"
"When he came."
Jesus Christ.
"I didn't expect to ever be talking about sex with you."
"I thought you didn't want to have sex with me."
God damn it. Rozanov-level chirp right there. Hayden refrains from saying so, because he still doesn't quite get what's just happened between Shane and Rozan--Ilya.
"People say a lot of things when they --"
"He never did before. It was always Hollander, or -- stuff in Russian, or whatever..."
"How long have you guys been hooking up?" The question bursts out of Hayden and he winces. Bad timing, probably, but he's curious.
"Since rookie season."
That startles Hayden. He's been trying to keep his composure until now (Lily is Rozanov, okay, explains the secrecy, very rivals to lovers, and the two of them have been on the ice together forever, and it would explain the way Shane seems to glow whenever they play Boston...), but since rookie season?
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"Is that why you always look at him like you want to eat him?"
Shane thinks. "Maybe."
"How the hell do you play against him?
Shane bristles. "I would never go easy on him on the ice, if that's what you're --"
Hayden turns abruptly to look at him "No! No, absolutely not! I've met you before today, Shane Hollander. I'm saying, how do you not, like, rip his clothes off during games?"
Shane laughs. "What?"
Hayden's cheeks might be burning. "I mean. You're watching him play hockey with that level of skill, body-slamming guys into the wall, and looking like that, and...."
"Hayden, this sounds like we're learning more about you than me."
"Shut up! You know what I mean. He's hot."
"Hot and mine." Shane's eyes widen as his hearing catches up to his voice, and he clamps his mouth shut.
Hayden blinks at him, assessing.
"So you didn't break up with him?"
Shane sighs. "No... I... I don't know." He stares at the ceiling, noticing a pattern in the ceiling texture for the first time. It looks like a star. "He called me Shane, and he made me a tuna melt, and he... Hayden, you have to understand, we never talk to each other like that. We don't have time. It's literally just hockey and sex."
Hayden waits.
"But he made it more."
"I see," Hayden says, and he does.
After a moment, he adds, "Did you want it to be more?"
Shane groans. "I don't know." Yes, he thinks. "It can't be more."
"Why not?" Hayden asks. Shane stares at him like he's asked why it's important to get the puck in the net. "Hockey. Russia. Closet."
"Point," Hayden says, "but how is that different from what you've been doing already?"
And maybe it's not, but --
"He'll act like it's something and then he'll act like it's nothing again," Shane says, and it eases something in him. That's the core of what was bothering him, the way Ily-- Rozano-- he'd said Shane like a benediction and then gone back to Hollander as soon as Shane freaked out --- Hollander and that facial expression that had worked a hundred times before, the one that said "come on now, chill out," the one that said, "it's nothing serious," the one that said "we can pretend it didn't happen."
It wasn't enough anymore.
Shane wants to spend a whole night with Ilya.
That's all.
No, actually, that's not all. He wants to spend a night, a day, a week, maybe even two. He wants to relax with him, fuck him until he's tired of it, make out for hours, and watch Ilya cook. He wants to raise kids with him, move in with him, decorate their room together, decorate their whole house together. Go on double dates with Hayden and Jackie. Get photographed by paparazzi and have it not matter. Beat him in the Stanley Cup finals and bring the trophy home to taunt him with. Hold hands at press conferences.
He doesn't realize he's said this out loud until Hayden says, "You should go talk to him."
Shane closes his eyes. He supposes he should.
He gets out his phone and calls Lily.
Chapter 5: if I could take the fire out from the wire
Chapter Notes
Ilya's shaking. Why the fuck had he said "Shane?" If he hadn't done that -- if Shane hadn't called him Ilya -- if he hadn't left -- if Ilya hadn't tried to stop him leaving --
It was all a big mess. He flops forward onto the couch. He hasn't moved from it since Shane left.
If he hadn't called Hollander "Shane..."
He would have done it eventually. It was that or keep waking up with a stomachache in the shape of the word. His head spins.
His phone rings. Jane.
He leaps for it, knocks it off the couch and into the table, where it ricochets and slides under the TV stand. He flies off the couch and dives after it.
He answers on the third ring.
"Shane?"
He doesn't notice he's done it again.
~~~
Hayden had watched Shane dial Lily's number (dial it, by heart, even though it was saved in his phone). Watched Shane's stoic face as the phone rang once, twice, three times, and then --
"Shane?"
Ilya Rozanov's voice. Hayden had let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.
Now, he looks at Shane as something goes slack behind his eyes, the shape of his tension changing.
"Ilya?"
~~~
Ilya lets out a sigh of relief. He's sitting on the floor next to the TV, holding the phone to his ear like it's a security blanket.
"Yeah," Ilya says.
~~~
They don't say anything for a while, just breathing, letting their breaths even out as they get used to each others' presence, even over the phone. Hayden doesn't take his eyes off Shane, but he doesn't say anything either.
Shane finally speaks, "Rozanov, I --"
"Ilya," Hayden murmurs, before he can stop himself. Shane glares at him, but then --
"Ilya," Shane corrects himself.
~~~
Ilya takes in a sharp breath, tears pricking his eyes. Hollander had -- Wait. The way he'd caught himself and corrected himself -- like someone had said something to him -- and had he heard a voice?
"Is there someone there?"
~~~
Hayden's eyes widen in alarm. Shane sighs. He resigns himself to the fact that everything is falling apart today, and it'll either shake back together or it won't.
"It's Hayden. I told him. He won't tell anyone."
"You did what."
Hayden gestures for the phone. Shane hands it over and Hayden puts it on speaker.
"Rozanov, it's not -- I basically interrogated him until he broke. You can blame me," Hayden says.
"I do."
"I won't tell anyone. Besides, I came out to him first."
This seems to startle Ilya into silence.
"You are..."
"Bisexual," Hayden says.
"Oh," says Ilya. "So am I."
"Yeah," Hayden exhales. "I gathered."
"Why are you interrogating Hollander?"
"Rozanov, he looked like he was gonna throw up when he walked in. I had to do something."
Ilya pauses.
"Give him the phone."
Hayden does.
Chapter End Notes
Still not sure if this is over yet or not. [EDIT: It was not over. Chapter 6 is up!] Now that Ilya knows Hayden knows... maybe I'll skip ahead to post-cottage and write a fun conversation with all of them? I'm wrecking the whole Rose timeline here so I don't know how they're going to get their feelings stuff together this time.
Anyway, if I don't write any more of this, here's what I think happens: Shane and Rose never date, but they do become friends; Ilya comes along to the X squad party and makes friends with Rose too; some version of the "I think I'm gay" conversation happens; and we more or less catch up with canon by the time Scott and Kip kiss at center ice.
Much love & a blueberry banana smoothie,
dydx
p.s. chapter title from I'll Believe in Anything by Wolf Parade
Chapter 6: I met a boy who didn't know he was so beautiful
Chapter Summary
what if Hayden was Rose (no not like that)
Chapter Notes
Okay so because Shane doesn't date Rose in this, he's gotta have all the "was it different"/"was it better" realizations now with Hayden. Here he goes.
Ilya hears Hayden hand the phone back to Shane. Hears Shane's watery voice saying "Hello?"
"Shane."
"Yeah."
He's quiet a moment.
"Ilya."
"Come back?" Ilya asks, his heart in his throat.
~~~
Hayden hears Ilya's voice filter through Shane's phone, asking him to come back. He looks at Shane, who looks exhausted, like he doesn't want to move a muscle for the next week. He watches Shane hesitate, caught between wanting to run back to Ilya and wanting to fall asleep right here where no more big emotions can reach him. And he remembers everything that Shane said he wanted to say to Ilya.
He waits to hear Shane's response.
~~~
Shane is tired.
Emotionally, physically, mentally. Drained.
And Ilya says "Come back."
Right after "Shane."
And Shane doesn't know what to say. He wants to go back. He does. But he also feels like he can't raise his head from his bed.
"I'm tired," he whispers into the phone.
~~~
"I'm tired," Ilya hears the wisp of the words. And yeah. It sounds like Shane's been crying.
Ilya isn't tired. Ilya's wound up so tight he feels like he could sprint all the way to Shane's hotel.
"Can I come there?" he tries.
And Shane says, in the low voice of unguarded want that's never failed to cut Ilya off at the knees, "Please."
Ilya stands up, fingers already searching for his wallet.
"What is your room number?"
~~~
Shane puts the phone down, head falling back against the pillows. His eyes close.
Hayden figures he'd better leave if Ilya is coming over, so he gets up and starts looking for his wallet and shoes.
A noise from Shane startles him and he turns around.
"Stay?" says Shane. He sounds immediately abashed. "Just till he gets here?"
"Yeah," Hayden breathes out, "Yeah, of course."
Hayden sits back down on his bed, facing Shane. After a moment's silence, he asks, "Do you know what you're going to say to him?"
~~~
Ilya drives at near-hazardous speeds. Shane is tired. Tired of what? Tired of them? No. Not possible. Unless. No. Ilya will get there, and he will figure it out. If only this red light would --
The light turns green, and he zooms ahead.
~~~
"I don't know," Shane says. "Maybe you should go."
"I can go," Hayden says, getting up again.
Shane closes his eyes. "I don't know. Just." He doesn't elaborate.
Hayden thinks. "Tell him what you told me."
"It's. I think it's him. I really do," Shane says.
It hangs in the air a bit.
"Congratulations, man," Hayden says, sitting back down.
Shane's eyes fly open. "What do you mean, congratulations?"
"It's what people say. When their friends find the one."
Shane breathes out. "Fuck. He really is -- how can he be the one, Hayden?"
Hayden waits.
"This is a problem, Hayden. This is a big problem."
He winces preemptively, at the cliché of a question he's about to ask, but he does it anyway. "How does he make you feel?"
~~~
Shane blinks. He remembers rushing Ilya as the door of 1221 swung shut, arms-hands-lips-hips, Ilya bracing him through the momentum so they wouldn't fall. Remembers laughing harder and harder every time they skated up to each other in their CCM-branded gear and the director told them, tiredly, to do it again. Remembers sinking to his knees that night in 1410. Remembers the awareness of Ilya at his side in the press room, answering journalists' questions and tapping Shane's foot quietly under the table.
Remembers the very first time Ilya Rozanov handed him a water bottle; the electricity of his right hand brushing over Shane's left. More, so quietly it might just have been a breath, plausibly denied, near-impossible to prevent.
Remembers Ilya's voice telling him it was okay to be scared.
Remembers "no, you come here," and "you still want?" in an empty building, a building whose deed he'd signed without his reading glasses on.
~~~
Hayden sees the way Shane's eyes go a million miles away, glassed over yet absolutely alert, and he doesn't press for a verbal answer.
Instead, he asks, "Has anyone else ever made you feel that way?"
Shane shakes his head.
"Could they?"
Shane parts his lips at last.
"No."
"Well," Hayden says, feeling his point made.
But a few moments later, Shane whispers, "It was supposed to be a girl."
And Hayden has no idea what to say to that.
"it was supposed to be --" Shane mutters again, and he pulls the blanket over his head, and, after a moment, Hayden hears soft sobbing.
He's heard Shane cry a handful of times before. But never about something so quietly cataclysmic.
He wishes he had a weighted blanket to drape over Shane, or something. He wishes a cuddle could help, like it does for Ruby when she's sad, but he doubts Shane would want one. So he just sits there awkwardly, feeling useless.
And then Shane's voice comes up from the blanket nest. "Can I have a hug?"
Hayden moves faster than God.
~~~
Shane feels weird about asking for a hug. But there have been so many emotions roiling under his skin, and he feels itchy. Wrapping his arms around himself only fixed it a little. Pulling his comforter tight around himself only fixed it a little. He needs a hug. He needs a friend who understands.
He feels Hayden settle himself chastely on top of the comforter. Hayden's arm rests over Shane's body. Grounding. Reassuring.
They stay like that for a while.
And Shane's mind clears. His skin slowly stops feeling so much like one big rash. He breathes.
~~~
Ten minutes later, there's a knock on the door. Hayden gives Shane a last grounding squeeze, and gets up. He puts on his shoes and locks eyes with Shane, who nods. Hayden grabs his phone and wallet and opens the door.
Ilya Rozanov stands apprehensively at the door. He looks scared, but also like he'll physically fight Hayden if he tries to keep him out. Hayden steps back to let Ilya in.
He sees the moment Shane and Ilya lock eyes, and oh.
Hayden smiles softly.
And then he leaves.
Chapter End Notes
Chapter title from Boys Will Be Girls by Keir, which plays in the background at All-Stars during "I hired a stylist."
Chapter 7: he doesn't know it yet but someday he could have it all
Chapter Notes
[Please mentally insert the entire "I think I'm gay"/"Because Russia" conversation between this chapter and the last. Didn't rewrite it, because I didn't want to change any of it, and because this is a pretty Hayden-centric fic & he's not part of that conversation.
Okay now they're back together with first names and everything. Commence All-Stars!]
Hayden is an all-star. So take that, Ilya "I said fifty" Rozanov, he thinks, as he adjusts his sunglasses.
He's by the pool, keeping a weather eye on Jade and Ruby as they shriek and race the other kids up and down the pool.
No wait. They're all racing... Ilya.
The man's great with kids, Hayden observes. He challenges them to a race, loses at the last second, and accuses them of cheating, splashing them when they yell at him and then challenging them to a rematch. Hayden smiles. He looks over at Shane, who's watching the scene with what would look like impassivity to anyone else, but Hayden can see the relaxedness in the set of his limbs, the quiet joy held behind those sunglasses as he takes in the scene.
Hayden wonders if Shane and Ilya want children. Shane's good with Arthur and Ruby and Jade. He's never expressed an interest in raising children of his own, at least not to Hayden, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Looking at them now, looking at Shane watching Ilya entertaining the hockey offspring... Hayden can totally see it. Little Shanes and Ilyas. Joint playdates with their two families. Birthday party invites. All of it.
Hayden hopes it happens.
Ilya rises out of the pool, water running down his body in rivulets, and Hayden notices the way Shane's sunglasses don't move a millimetre. He can't get caught looking. (Hayden steals a guilty glance, though.)
Then Ilya goes over to Shane and shakes his hair out all over him, like a puppy. Shane makes a face and Hayden stifles a grin.
"Hollander, can you give these kids some money, I don't have my wallet."
"I don't either," grumbles Shane, so Ilya yells over at Brophy instead and wanders off.
They're back together, from what Shane has told Hayden. Well. As together as they seem to acknowledge that they are.
Hayden texts Shane:
Hayden: You want kids ever?
Shane: four with Jackie wasn't enough? You trying to get me pregnant too?
Hayden splutters. He glances up to where Shane is calmly looking at his phone, not looking Hayden's way at all. Hayden decides to play dirty.
Hayden: *I'm* not
Hayden: but if anyone could manage it
Hayden: you know it would be your Lily
Hayden: those abs tho
Shane: ...shut up
Shane: delete these
Hayden: yep, on it
Shane: and stop looking at lily
Hayden: a man is only so strong
Shane: ...I'll take a pregnancy test next time and let you know
Shane: Delete that too!
Hayden deletes the last several messages and sends Shane a screenshot of the text thread. The most recent message is now from a few hours ago ("J&R dragging me to pool"). Shane sends one too. Then they delete the screenshots. They've been using this method a lot. It works.
Hayden: I'm really happy for you
Shane: Me too.
Hayden catches Shane's eye across the pool deck. Shane smiles, soft.
They don't delete those.
Chapter End Notes
I had to get the "you trying to get me pregnant" line in there. I just think it's neat.
Shoutout to the excellent I Like Jane For You by icopythefax for reminding me that one can delete texts.
Chapter title from Boys Will Be Girls by Keir.
Chapter 8: he did not go to Nashville
Chapter Notes
quick interlude for the Russia trip
"He did not fly with the rest of the team."
Hayden looks at Shane with a question in his eyes. Do you know what's up?
Shane looks as confused as Hayden. "He flew separately?"
"He did not go to Nashville at all."
Nobody seems to know anything beyond this.
Hayden casts a concerned look at Shane as his friend hustles out of the locker room, phone already out of his pocket.
~~ later ~~
Hayden: were you able to get in touch?
Shane: yes
Hayden: is he okay?
Shane: yes
Shane: ish
Shane: he will be
Hayden: good
Hayden: here I am caring about the captain of the **** **** what is my life
Shane: ha
Shane: welcome to the club
Hayden: :)
Shane: :)
Hayden: it's good he has you
Shane's heart does something weird. Protective.
He wonders how long he'll get to feel this way.
Chapter 9: emergency contacts
Chapter Summary
Hayden and Ilya rush to the hospital when Shane gets hit.
Chapter Notes
thank you to everyone who braved the ao3 outage and came back here <3 three cheers for the ao3 staff!!
Hayden sees Marleau check Shane way too hard. He sees Shane fall at a terrible angle.
Within seconds, he's there. Within seconds, the medics are pushing him back.
It takes him a full minute to see Ilya frozen on the ice.
He wants to go over and comfort Ilya. He can't move from staring at Shane. He thinks Ilya would punch him if he went up to him. He can't move.
Shane is removed from the ice, and the game continues.
Nobody is focused.
Shane Hollander has never been injured like this before. The fans are worried. The Voyageurs are worried. Even the Bears are worried.
But mostly, Ilya and Hayden are worried.
Every time Hayden passes Ilya on the ice, he can feel the other man's tension. He wants to tell him it'll be okay, but he has no idea if it'll be okay. None of them does.
The moment they get off the ice, Hayden grabs Ilya.
"My car. Outside. As soon as you've changed."
Ilya nods tightly and makes a beeline for the locker rooms. Hayden runs back to his own team as they crowd into the home locker room.
He gets out of his gear and into street clothes as fast as he can. Around him, the room is chaos -- the other players cursing Marleau or wondering about their captain -- but Hayden can't register individual words over the blood rushing in his ears. He plans his route instead. They'll have sent him to Montreal General Hospital. Get out of the parking lot, make a right, then a left....
Hayden books it to his car and pulls it to the players' exit. He texts Ilya a description of his car. He waits.
Players filter out, both teams mingling in the parking lot.
Ilya doesn't show.
Hayden waits, fingers drumming on the wheel.
He texts Yuna and David. No reply; they must be on their way there too.
Still no Ilya.
He curses and taps "call." After a few rings,
"Fuck. Hello? Who is this?"
It isn't Ilya's voice.
"Uh. Is Rozanov there?" Hayden asks.
"Shit. Yeah, he's here, we're the last two in here. You need something?"
Hayden doesn't know what to do. "Can you give him the phone?"
"Yeah. He's here, but I think he's freaking out? I'm freaking out too. I swear I didn't mean to hit Hollander that hard. This is Pike, yeah?"
"Marleau?" Hayden realizes.
"Yeah --"
Hayden hears a crackle, and then --
"Pike." It's Ilya.
"Ilya, can you get out here? We have to go."
"Just. Other players."
"They're all gone, Ilya. Ilya, we need to go."
"Just. Give me a minute."
Hayden hears a crackle again and Marleau's voice picks back up. "-- panic attack or something?"
Hayden curses. "Shit. I'll come get him. You said everyone else left, yeah?"
"Yeah."
Hayden hesitates. "You won't murder me for coming into your locker room?"
"It's Montreal's house. I think you're good. Are you... his ride home?"
Hayden hears the confusion in Marleau's voice, but he can't do anything about it. "I said I'd drop him off where he's going," he hedges instead, the half-truths coming easily to him. He stays on the line as he gets out of his car and rushes back into the building.
He finds the visitors' locker room and barges in. The sight before him: Ilya Rozanov sitting on the bench in front of his locker, eyes down, spine hard, unmoving, and Cliff Marleau hovering above him looking lost and guilty.
Hayden acknowledges Marleau with a nod without breaking his pace and kneels right in front of Ilya.
"Rozanov," he says. Ilya doesn't move.
"Rozanov," Hayden repeats. "We have to go. Come on."
Ilya's eyes move up to Hayden's, the rest of his body remaining stock-still. Hayden looks up at Marleau. "Marleau. Could you give us a minute?"
"Yeah," Marleau says, breaking out of his reverie. "Yeah, I'll -- you're Hollander's best friend, right?"
"Yes."
"Tell him I'm sorry, will you? I feel terrible. I really didn't mean to hurt him." And he does sound regretful. "I really hope he's okay."
"I'll let him know," Hayden says, and Marleau finally, finally leaves.
As soon as he does, Ilya's spine collapses. His head sinks forward onto his knees and he starts breathing deeper, big ragged breaths. Hayden takes a chance and grabs Ilya's hands, pressing his thumb in what he hopes is a soothing pattern on Ilya's fists. "Hey. He's gonna be okay," Hayden whispers, hoping he's telling the truth. "He's gonna be okay."
A little more of the tension goes out of Ilya, and then suddenly he's controlled again, like he's packed his panic away where nobody can see it. He doesn't look okay, not at all, but he looks like he might respond to instructions now, so Hayden asks, "Can you get up?"
Ilya shoots him an affronted look and gets to his feet. He looks a little shaky, but he's up. "Good," Hayden says firmly. "Let's go." Hayden takes a step, and then another, and Ilya's following mechanically, and they go out the locker room door, down the hallway, out of the building, through the deserted parking lot, and finally through the doors of Hayden's car. Ilya buckles his seatbelt automatically and Hayden pulls out of the parking lot.
His own panic has been living at the back of his neck, under his tongue, behind his throat. He can't take it out, can't look at it. Someone needs to drive this car, and it's not going to be Ilya. Hayden feels a brief flare of irritation: why does he have to be the adult around here? Why does he have to act calm, drive safely, help Ilya through his anxiety while storing his own away?
He shakes it off. No time to be petty now. They're in this together, and they just need to get to the hospital. He just needs to get Ilya to the hospital, and then he can panic. He just needs to see Shane breathing, and then he can stop panicking. He just needs to --
"He will be okay," says Ilya in a low voice.
Hayden says nothing.
"Thank you. For driving me."
"Someone had to," snaps Hayden.
"He will be okay," says Ilya again.
Hayden manages a nod.
If Shane dies today, Hayden can grieve for him. What's Ilya going to do? Who's Ilya going to tell?
"Yeah," Hayden says. "He will."
They relapse into silence.
"They will let me in," Ilya says after almost fifteen minutes, an answer to a challenge nobody has said out loud yet.
"Opposing team captain checking in. Normal." Hayden says.
"Yes," Ilya says. "Normal."
Their twin panic is leashed with their seatbelts, controlled and careful. Hayden's not sure anyone's breathing.
Two minutes later, they pull into the hospital's huge parking lot, and Ilya's seatbelt is off before Hayden finishes parking. By unspoken agreement, they run for the doors.
"Hayden Pike, I'm here for Shane Hollander," Hayden says to the person at the desk. "I should be on his emergency contact list."
The receptionist checks, nods, and gives Hayden the room number. Ilya is right behind Hayden as they jog up the single flight of stairs to Shane's floor. Nobody tries to stop him. Good. They find his door and Ilya knocks. A nurse opens it. "Names, please?"
Yuna Hollander's voice calls out, "It's probably just Hayden," and a moment later she's at the door. Her face goes blank when she sees Ilya. "Rozanov?"
"Is he okay?" Ilya says.
"Why are you here?" Yuna asks bluntly.
Before anybody can speak, the nurse says, "Ilya Rozanov?"
Ilya's gaze snaps to hers. "Yes."
"You're on his emergency contact sheet. Come on in."
"He's what?" Yuna demands. Hayden shakes his head at the nurse urgently, willing her to stop talking. Ilya doesn't seem to have heard.
"He's on the patient's emergency contact sheet, so he can come in."
"What do you mean, he's on the --" Yuna begins.
Hayden sighs. "Yuna, is he okay?" he asks urgently, because that's what he and Ilya are there for, that's what he needs to know, that's what he's spent the last two hours trying very hard not to freak out about, a feat he's probably only managed for this long because he had Ilya's panic to focus on instead of his own, he had driving to focus on instead of the frantic feeling in his chest, but he needs to know now or else --
Yuna finally seems to remember Hayden's there, because her gaze softens as she looks at him. "Yes, Hayden, honey, he's going to be okay. They're still doing tests, but he'll recover."
Relief courses through Hayden, and he moves to hug Yuna instinctively, collapsing onto her like a blanket. She wraps her arms around him and pats him on the back, like she's soothing a baby.
When they let go, Hayden sees Ilya's lip wobbling. And Ilya trying very hard to stop his lip wobbling.
"Is he in there?" Hayden asks. Yuna shakes her head. "No, he's getting some tests done."
"Okay," says Hayden. "We'll be right back." Then he takes Rozanov firmly by the arm and steers him away, down the hallway, out of sight, into what looks like a vacant office (decorations stripped from walls, empty nameplate, desk bare of everything but a few cleaning supplies), and closes the door.
Ilya cries.
Hayden doesn't track any more than that, though, because his body gives out as soon as the door clicks shut behind them. The empty desk chair catches him on the way down. He braces himself on the particle-board lip of the desk and buries his head in his hands.
Tears sting his eyes, the adrenaline crash hitting him. He's shaking. Shane's okay. They made it to the hospital. He got Ilya to the hospital. They're okay. They're all okay. Shane's okay. His face is wet.
He looks over to see Ilya sitting on the floor sunk to the floor, back against the door they entered through, looking like he collapsed there as soon as the door shut behind them. He's crying too, shaking with relief and fear and worry and his own crashing cascading emotions.
Hayden catches his eye and Ilya's lip curves up. In an instant they're both laughing, in relief that they made it to the hospital, in relief that Shane (their Shane) is okay.
"Well, there goes the cup for Montreal," Hayden chokes out. He's laughing and sobbing and taking deep gulps of air. Everything feels suddenly absurd. Shane's okay! He's okay!!
"Montreal never had a chance anyway." Ilya's grinning ear-to-ear now. Shane's okay. They'll be okay.
"You wish," Hayden laughs. He slides out of his chair and lies on the office floor, staring at the ceiling.
"What do you think she thinks?" Ilya says suddenly.
"Yuna?"
"Yes."
"Probably wondering why you're Shane's emergency contact."
Ilya's brow furrows. "Yes. I am also wondering that."
"Presumably so you could see him. If anything happened like this," Hayden points out. "Shane's a planner."
"Shane would rather die than get outed by paperwork."
Hayden glares at Ilya. "He would rather prevent a situation where you were terrified and unable to reach him," he says sharply.
A knock sounds at the door.
"Mr. Rozanov? Mr. Pike?" Probably the nurse. Ilya scoots away from the door and Hayden pulls himself to his feet to open it.
The nurse comes in. "Shane's back from tests and he's going to be just fine. You can come see him."
Another wave of relief cascades over Hayden, and he starts to leave the room.
When he doesn't hear Ilya get up, he turns and furrows his brow at him.
"...he will not want to see me," Ilya murmurs.
"What? Why?"
Ilya looks at the nurse. "You are bound by HIPPA, yes? Confidentiality?"
She nods. Ilya gestures her into the room. The door closes, trapping the three of them inside.
"He will not want his mother to see me."
The nurse sucks in a breath. Hayden isn't sure what she has and hadn't put together.
"I can tell her I misread the emergency contact information, if that helps," the nurse states. "I was not aware that she did not know you were an emergency contact, and I spoke too hastily --"
"I'm really on his contact sheet?" Ilya interrupts.
"Yes. And I truly apologize for sharing that confidential information by mistake..."
"Is okay," Ilya says, looking lost in thought.
"I'll go first," says Hayden. "Get rid of his parents for you."
They all wince, knowing this will be next to impossible.
Ilya looks furious. And hurt. Not at Hayden. Not at the nurse. Not at Shane. Not even quite at Yuna. At the circumstances.
"No," Ilya says. "We will tell them... the rival captain check-in thing. And...." He pauses. "Tell them you misread the contact information. Please."
The nurse nods. "Okay."
"Okay."
"Okay."
They leave the room together.
Chapter End Notes
I'd like to take this moment to recommend the fic that contains my absolute favorite "Ilya sees Shane get hit" scene -- the beautifully devastating but they bring their boys up different (12457 words) by Anonymous.
Chapter 10: tell me what do you see
Chapter Summary
Back to Shane's hospital room for some Yuna & David POV!
Chapter Notes
thank you to everybody who's been following along! this is so much fun :D
When Yuna Hollander hears that her son has listed Ilya Rozanov as an emergency contact, her first thought is that someone his tampered with his medical records. Her second thought is that perhaps she misheard, and the nurse was talking about Hayden, who she knows is on there (along with Jackie, Shane's coach, Shane's agent, and JJ). In the back of her mind, none of this quite adds up.
David doesn't seem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary. He pores over Shane's charts, trying to absorb all the information about scans and procedures and drugs and care instructions and recovery times.
But then the nurses wheel Shane back into the room, and tell her he's fine -- just a concussion and a broken collarbone, out for the playoffs, but it could have been so much worse. All thoughts of Ilya Rozanov's mysterious appearance are tabled, pushed to that quietly analytical place in the back of her mind, as she hugs Shane, kisses his forehead, checks in with him about how he's feeling, pain levels, yeah it sucks that he can't go to playoffs, fuck Marleau, Montreal will definitely lose without him, does Shane want some food.
"Boston'll probably win now," Shane murmurs through a mouthful of soup.
"Boston?" Yuna asks. "Win the cup?"
"Yeah, maybe."
"I'll excuse it because you're concussed," Yuna says, "But it's definitely New York. It's Scott Hunter's year."
"He's so old. Like dinosaur," Shane mutters. Yuna laughs. Shane on pain meds is always interesting.
Shane's expression shutters briefly. "Did... did anyone come to see me?"
"Hayden did," Yuna says. Shane smiles. "That's good. I like Hayden. Is he still around?"
"Yes, I think he's coming back. Can you let him know Shane's up?" she looks at the nurse. The nurse nods and leaves.
"Hayden's a nice friend."
Yuna hums.
"Did anyone else come?"
Yuna makes a face. "This is strange, but... Rozanov?"
She isn't prepared for the way Shane's face absolutely melts.
"Ilya came?"
"Yes," says Yuna. Ilya?
Shane smiles, leaning his head back against his pillows.
"I'm sure he'll be back too," Yuna says, trying to keep the smile on her son's face.
"Of course he will," Shane replies, eyes closed.
The doctor comes in to check on Shane, and Yuna is distracted from the Ilya Rozanov question once again.
~~~
David watches Shane. "Ilya," he'd said.
David has never been quite as invested in the Hollander-Rozanov rivalry as Yuna. He didn't start out as a Montreal fan the way she did -- he was always an Ottawa Centaur as a kid. Now, he roots for Montreal because his son is on the team. Therefore, he roots against Boston and Rozanov, and he has his fun chirping the Bears. But he's always appreciated that Shane has someone on his level to push him on the ice.
He sometimes thinks it's odd that Shane doesn't talk about Rozanov more. They've played against each other their whole careers, and David had expected something -- ruthless analysis of his game, grudging respect for his talents, chirps, maybe some resentment. But Shane's always kept his comments to a minimum, only ever quietly echoing what someone else says. He'd chalk it up to Shane being a quiet person, except that hockey is the exception to that rule -- he's heard Shane critique the skills of every hockey player from Ottawa's practically unknown rookies to Scott frickin' Hunter, and the two of them always talk through the new Montreal rookies' strengths and weaknesses at length. Rozanov, though -- there's never been any indication that Shane feels particularly strongly about him.
But if he's visiting Shane at the hospital, and Shane's smiling and calling him "Ilya," that suggests they don't hate each other. David finds himself smiling at that. He's always been a fan of sportsmanship.
The door of the hospital room opens and the nurse walks in with Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov at her heels.
Chapter End Notes
For my Ember & Ice fans, "sportsmanship" is much like "Solarii diplomacy."
title from "All the Things She Said" by t.A.T.u. Original Russian version.
now accepting suggestions for the nurse's name in the comments
Chapter 11: this is your Shane. this is your Shane on drugs.
Chapter Summary
The moment Ilya sees Shane, awake, smiling, arm in a sling, something eases inside him. He doesn't let himself smile, but relief plays just under his skin, subtly visible in the way the muscles of his forehead soften, the contours of his eyes changing. Nobody notices. Hayden's just behind him, trying to get through the door, but it's like Ilya's legs forgot how to move as soon as he sees Shane. If he takes another step forward, he's going to rush the bed, and there are two more Hollanders in this room than usual.
Wait. Somebody notices. Shane always notices.
Chapter Notes
thank you Miolandra for naming Ilona!
And thank you to the commenters who talked about the history of Я сошла с ума (All the Things She Said) & government censorship & violence. everyone love yourselves & each other for me please. yuna's orders. thank you.
be queer be trans be kind make art.
The moment Ilya sees Shane, awake, smiling, arm in a sling, something eases inside him. He doesn't let himself smile, but relief plays just under his skin, subtly visible in the way the muscles of his forehead soften, the contours of his eyes changing. Nobody notices. Hayden's just behind him, trying to get through the door, but it's like Ilya's legs forgot how to move as soon as he sees Shane. If he takes another step forward, he's going to rush the bed, and there are two more Hollanders in this room than usual.
Wait. Somebody notices. Shane always notices. His eyes fix on Ilya's, and Ilya could weep with relief. He thought he'd never see those freckles again.
"Ilya!!" Shane says, a grin breaking out on his face.
"Yes, yes," says Ilya urgently, trying to stop Shane talking before the pure delight in Shane's voice makes Ilya do something he's not allowed to. "Uh. How are you?"
"Concussion and a fractured collarbone. And I'm out for the playoffs. But..."
"Could have been worse."
"Could've been worse."
"Marleau feels terrible. He did not mean to hurt you. He wanted me to say."
"Yeah," Hayden adds, from behind Ilya's shoulder, "He told me to say. As well. He's sorry."
They all stand there in silence for a moment. Ilya looks at Shane. Yuna looks at Ilya. Shane looks at Ilya. David looks at Shane looking at Ilya. Hayden is stuck in the doorway.
The nurse -- Ilona, her badge says -- is the first to move, going over to Shane's side to check mysterious medical things. Hayden opens his mouth to say something -- he has no idea what -- when Yuna beats him to it.
"Good. He should be sorry," she says, glaring at Ilya. David hums agreement.
"We all get our bell rung eventually," Shane notes.
"Doesn't mean it was okay," Yuna points out.
"I agree," says Ilya. "Believe me, I wish it had not happened." He makes direct eye contact with Yuna and David. They at least need to know this -- that he would never wish harm upon their son -- even if they cannot know anything else.
"You think Boston will win now?" Yuna asks -- not quite accusatory, but not quite friendly either.
"Without Shane, Montreal is a weak team. And is not fun to defeat a weak team," Ilya says.
The tension in the room eases a little, and Ilya takes a tentative step forwards. This gives Hayden space to squeeze by him and through the door at last. He crosses directly to the bed. "Hey," he says to his best friend, "how are you feeling?"
"You brought Ilya," Shane says with a smile.
"Wow, Shane, nothing for me?" Hayden jokes.
"I already told you, I'm taken," Shane grins, and -- nope. Shane needs to stop talking now, before he outs three hockey players simultaneously under the influence of morphine, so Hayden does the first thing he thinks of -- he claps a hand over Shane's mouth. Shane immediately licks it (a move he definitely learned from Jade) and Hayden yelps and snatches his hand away. "What the fuck, dude?!"
Shane cackles, and his parents laugh, and the tension breaks for real.
Well. Hayden thinks the tension has broken, until he turns and sees Ilya frozen near the door.
Ilya is standing by the door.
Ilya is standing by the door while Hayden Pike gets to touch his -- Shane, and Ilya can't go to him.
That's not true. Ilya could, at this point, go up to Shane. He could pat him on the shoulder, act like a concerned colleague. But there's no scenario where Ilya does that without kissing Shane, and Shane's parents are here, so --
Shane sees.
Shane sees everything, even high as a kite.
"Hey," he says, and it's directed clearly at Ilya. "Heyyy!!"
Ilya remains frozen. They can't. In front of. Shane's on drugs. He's not thinking clearly.
"C'mere," Shane insists, and Ilya does. He gives into the gravitational pull at last, crossing to Shane's bedside (and Hayden Pike's side, unfortunately) in two strides. He's planning to just rest his hand on Shane's bed, but Shane takes his hand and holds it. Oh. Okay. Good. Bad. Not something Shane will be okay with when he comes off of the high. At least Hayden's body is mostly blocking their hands from view.
"Yes. Bet-ter." Shane declares, and it's hard for Ilya to stay focused on the risks. That voice. That's the voice he dreams about, unguarded and affectionate. Your cab is definitely here. He wants to smooth his thumb over Shane's freckles, pictures himself doing it.
Hayden lays a hand on Ilya's shoulder. "We'll give you a minute," he murmurs, and he turns to face Yuna and David.
"Um. Let's take a walk for a second," he tells them.
"Shane?" David looks at his son. "Is that okay?"
"Hmm? Yeah. I'll see you soon," Shane says absently. David nods and moves towards the door with Hayden and Yuna.
Yuna hesitates on the threshold. Shane's obviously happy to have Ilya Rozanov here, but she's still not jazzed about leaving her son with a man who's essentially a stranger to her.
But evidently... not a stranger to Shane.
Yuna turns back to face the nurse. "Ilona. You said Ilya Rozanov was my son's emergency contact?"
"Ah, yes," Ilona says, "I apologize, I misread the list. I --"
Yuna's eyes narrow. "You misread the list." She takes a threatening step towards her.
"Uh --"
"You misread the list of people permitted to see a patient? You need to be careful about who you let in here, in patients' rooms in general, and high-profile --"
Fuck. Hayden's eyes dart to Ilona's in apology. She shouldn't have to go through this.
"Yuna," says David gently, reading Hayden's mind. Yuna catches herself. "I'm sorry," she says to Ilona.
Then she turns and looks at Shane. "Shane? Is Ro-- Is Ilya one of your emergency contacts?"
Shane glances at her. "Yeah, of course," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. And he turns back to meet Ilya's eyes.
Yuna lets Hayden steer her gently out of the room.
Chapter End Notes
the chapter title might change to something angsty later but for now I think I'm hilarious. (If you don't know the reference, look up "this is your brain on drugs anti-drug PSA." Good goal, questionable execution.)
Chapter 12: wyctmcts dgtr ctmh whsmf isp nwk wchawoet bca t
Chapter Summary
"I was going to ask you..."
"Shane? Is Ro-- Is Ilya one of your emergency contacts?"
"Yeah, of course," Shane says. Ilya's breath catches. He smooths a thumb over Shane's freckles.
He feels the room empty around them.
Yeah, of course. Like it's the most obvious thing in the world, like he doesn't even understand why the question would need to be asked.
But there's a trace of defiance in it, too, so subtle that Ilya's pretty sure only he's noticed it. Shane knows that he's saying something significant, something his mom might push back on. And he's saying it anyway.
Shane's eyes confirm it when he turns back to Ilya. He's sure of something; making some kind of intentional choice. He's definitely high, definitely needs someone else to remind him to filter his words, but the words themselves -- he knows what he's doing. He's risking an impossible shot because he knows he can put it in the net. Because he's Shane Hollander.
What the shot is, Ilya isn't sure.
"You scared me," he says, when the door closes behind the nurse.
Shane wishes he could move more. His ribs hurt. He can't reach Ilya's face, his mouth, the worried lines between his eyes. He pulls their still-clasped hands to his lips instead and kisses Ilya's knuckles. Ilya relaxes into the kiss, and Shane melts inside.
"You really scared me," Ilya feels brave enough to say.
"I know. I'm sorry," Shane says.
"Very Canadian," Ilya smiles.
"I was going to ask you something," Shane begins.
Ilya squeezes his hand gently.
"I was going to ask you..."
Something in his tone tells Ilya this is going to be serious.
"Hollander," he says, trying to deter Shane, to turn the raging river of his words slightly to the side, hoping he won't get washed away further than he already has.
Shane keeps going.
"'Will you come to my cottage this summer.'"
Ilya is made of electricity. He has lost all other awareness except that of this moment.
"Don't go to Russia."
Oh. Because. Right. He can do that now.
"Come to my house."
My house. He has a house. A house.
"We'll have so much fun. It's so private. No one will know."
"Hollander, you know we can't do that." Ilya gets the words out automatically. He can't feel the floor under his feet. His face feels kind of cold. A house.
"We could have a week or even two."
Oh, it's wet. His face is wet. The air conditioning is making his tears cold. Right.
"...Be completely alone. Together."
Shane's eyes close, lashes dusting over his freckles. Inevitably, inexorably, Ilya leans down and kisses the place where they meet. Suddenly, he can feel his hands again -- one still held tight in Shane's, and one gripping the guardrail on the opposite side of the bed. His body's crossing Shane's, a foot or so between them. His knees and feet are braced in a spectacularly uncomfortable fashion against the bed.
"Maybe," he whispers to his beloved, closing his eyes. "Maybe."
When he opens them again, Shane is looking back at him.
He understands.
"Help me move to the right a bit," Shane says. Ilya tilts his head. Shane pats the bed to his left.
In ten minutes, they're fast asleep, curled together in a tiny hospital bed, breathing peacefully, and looking, for once, as young as they really are.
Chapter 13: I think I kind of have to
Chapter Summary
As soon as the three of them are alone in the hallway, Yuna whirls on Hayden. "Did you know?"
Chapter Notes
As soon as the three of them are alone in the hallway, Yuna whirls on Hayden. "Did you know?"
"Know what?" Hayden says feebly.
"Don't play dumb with me, Hayden Pike."
"I think I kind of have to," Hayden says carefully. "I also need to call Jackie. Excuse me."
He walks into the stairwell. Turns back.
"Give them some time," he says to the Hollanders. "Give them some time before you go back in the room, and then listen to whatever they have to say. Okay? Ilya's good people. You'll like him." He pauses. "You'd better."
Then he turns and marches out. He's clocking out for the day. He's dialing Jackie before the stairwell door closes.
~~~
They give them some time.
They go back in.
Yuna sees her son sleeping more peacefully than she's ever seen him, his boyfriend nestled in his arms, his face tucked into his hair.
Ilya opens his eyes first when they come in. He starts to get up.
"No, no, stay," says David. "Don't wake him up."
"What?" says Shane blearily. "Oh my god. Hi."
They listen to what they have to say. By the time they leave, they have two sons.
Chapter End Notes
does this wrap up too neatly? maybe. do I need to wrap it up so we can move to Jackie POV next chapter? yes.
Chapter 14: never underestimate a bisexual stage manager
Chapter Summary
OKAY it's time to catch up with the one! the only! JAAAACKIEEEEE PIIIIIKEEEE!!!!
Chapter Notes
jackie gets they/she'd here bc they said so
Hayden comes back from the aquarium deep in thought.
Jackie doesn't notice at first. There's too much chaos: shoes need to be removed, dinners eaten, sea creatures discussed, dishes washed. But once the whole house is in bed and the lights are off, Jackie hears Hayden's brain whirring.
"What, Hayd?" they say.
Hayden looks up from where he's got his head pillowed on her chest. "What?" he asks, trying to look confused.
"I can hear you thinking from over here. I'm trying to sleep."
"Sorry."
"No 'sorry.' What's up?"
Hayden's quiet a moment.
"I showed Shane Yoga Claire's insta."
"And?"
"He said no."
"Figures. Thanks for asking, though. Claire'll be happy."
"Yeah -- wait, figures?"
"I mean, he always says no, right? It was really more a favor to Claire than anything else. Though like... I mean, I thought maybe the yoga thing, but..." Jackie yawns. Hayden yawns too. Why were yawns contagious?
"Shane asked if I found him attractive," Hayden spills out in a rush. Jackie sits bolt upright. Hayden's head falls off their chest and hits the pillow with a surprisingly loud thunk.
"What?!"
"That's what I said!" Hayden grumbles from the pillow. The feather pillow is far inferior to the Jackie pillow. He looks up at his wife resentfully.
"Why?" asks Jackie carefully.
"I don't know!" wails Hayden.
"Did you --"
"No! I haven't told fucking anyone," Hayden says. "I said... oh god." The memory comes back suddenly, emerging from the wash of embarassment and adrenaline and distraction Hayden's brain had apparently hidden it in. He tries to hide, curling himself into Jackie's side. "I said he was hot, I think? Or something? Because I was explaining why he should date!"
"Okay..."
"I said... wait... I said, like, 'why don't you date, you're a hot rich hockey player...'"
"Okay, but that's all normal stuff. Why are we freaking out?" asks Jackie reasonably.
"There was -- oh, my god." Hayden remembers the rest of it, and once he remembers he can't believe he forgot. There must be panic in his voice, because Jackie looks at him fully this time, putting a hand on his arm.
"Hayden, whatever this is, I'm sure it's okay."
"These kids at the aquarium thought we were married," Hayden says slowly, and it's clear from his voice who the "we" in question is.
Jackie's face morphs, and they kiss him softly. When they pull away, there are tears on Hayden's face.
"In any other industry," is all Hayden says before Jackie's pulling him towards them and wrapping him in arms that have held him ever since he was a nervous young rookie at his, like, third club ever, trying very deliberately to control his eyelines. Ever since he spotted the out loud and proud bi person perched up high on a stool in the far corner of the club, surveying the room like they could run the place if anyone made it necessary for them to do so, and thought, yes.
"I know," says Jackie, and Hayden remembers that Jackie was a theatrical stage manager through high school and college. The number of queer people she's coached through all flavors of crises is probably more than the number of queer people Hayden even knows.
"In any other industry, it'd be a normal question," Hayden says, voice muffled.
"I know," they say again.
They stay like that until they fall asleep.
~~~
In the morning, Hayden remembers something else.
"I think he might have a crush on me. Shane, I mean."
Jackie tilts her head at him. "I hate to break it to you, but I don't think so."
"You don't?" Hayden asks, ignoring the rest of the sentence.
"He loves you, but it feels like a brotherly vibe, you know? Besides, I... have a theory."
"What?"
But Jackie just zips her lips, shakes her head, and smiles. "Talk to him," she says. "Just ask."
Hayden nods.
"I think I might tell him. Like. Come out or whatever," Hayden mutters. "I mean, from today it seems like he'd be cool, at least? And honestly, like, in general it seems like he'd be cool. I don't know. It shouldn't matter. It just."
Jackie stops him with a kiss. "Hey. It's allowed to matter. Talk to him."
Hayden nods. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"Frequently," says Jackie, patting him on the shoulder and getting up. "And Hayden. He will be cool. I think you should."
~~~
"So, what was it? Is he in love with you?" Jackie inquires innocently. They're getting ready for bed. Jade and Ruby and Arthur are tucked away with the plushies (an orca, a seahorse, and a crocodile) they got from the aquarium the previous day. Jackie quite likes her own octopus one as well. Hayden didn't get himself a stuffed sea creature, and she gives it a week before he simply adopts hers.
"Shut up! No. I was just reading things into things," Hayden replies, flushing. "He was joking. He was joke-flirting."
"Oh. I'm sorry, Hayd."
Hayden looks at her in confusion. "You're sorry?"
"You seem sad."
"I just... thought maybe he was queer too, yeah? It's not like I wanted him to be in love with me, it's just, I didn't want it to be such a crazy idea that, like,"
"Hockey players could be queer?"
"I mean, when you put it like that it sounds fuc -- I mean, it sounds silly."
"No, Hayden. That's actually really fair."
They cuddle for a bit.
"Have you thought about who else there might be?" Jackie asks. Because she has.
"I don't know," Hayden mutters. "I try not to think about it? But, uh. Bennett, maybe?"
"I think so too," Jackie agrees. "His wife, as well, I think. I met her a couple years ago -- you remember, I told you about her?"
"You told me she was hot."
"She was," Jackie grins.
"And Ryan Price is gay," Hayden says, after a moment.
"What?"
"Yeah, he was, like, seen on Grindr once. I think it's kind of an open secret."
"Why aren't you friends with him then?!"
"I don't know," says Hayden, "He's really quiet? He doesn't seem to really make friends."
"Keeps getting traded?"
"Yeah."
"Maybe you should reach out to him?"
"And say what? I'm bi, you're gay, let's be sad about the league together?"
"Yeah!"
"I don't know." Hayden buries his head in her chest.
After about five minutes, long enough that Jackie thinks he might be asleep, Hayden lifts his head.
"I told him I was bi."
Jackie smiles so hard her cheeks hurt. "Yeah?" Hayden has never come out to a teammate before.
"I did," Hayden says, and a smile starts at the edge of his face.
Jackie kisses the fuck out of him.
"Was he good about it?"
"Yeah," says Hayden. "Yeah, he was good about it." He shows her the texts.
"Oh my god, that's because I looked for my Byzantine Empire podcast on your phone."
"OH MY GOD, IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?"
They both dissolve into laughter. Hayden feels lighter than he has in a while.
~~~
Until Hayden comes back from a road trip acting weird, and won't tell her what's up when she asks. All she gets out of him is that Shane and his Boston Lily girl had some kind of big epiphany or fight or something and that Hayden played mediator.
"So you met her?!"
"Yeah. I met her."
"Oh my gosh!! What's she like? Is she like Shane, or, like, opposite? Like, this is the girl he's been into the longest, right?"
"She's... opposite, I guess? But in a way that works really well?"
Jackie waits for more details, but Hayden doesn't say any more. They shove him.
"What?!"
"I'm dying for details here!"
Hayden sighs. "I can't -- it's like, a weird -- not weird -- a delicate situation? I forgot to ask him if I could tell you the details, which I think means I can't tell you the details --"
Jackie sighs and grabs her phone.
"What are you doing?" Hayden asks.
"Calling Shane," says Jackie, and they do. Hayden's eyes widen, but he doesn't try to stop them.
The call connects.
"Jackie!" says Shane's voice. "What's up?"
"Hayden says he met Boston Lily!" Jackie says with joy.
The line goes dead.
"What the fuck?" says Jackie.
Hayden curses. He finds his own phone and opens the text thread with Shane. "Give me a second," he says, turning so Jackie can't see the screen.
Hayden: Sorry about that. She knows I met your girlfriend. Lily.
Hayden: I'm terrible at hiding my emotions from her so she knew something was wrong so I told her that you and Lily had a big emotional day and I played mediator. Between you and your girl. That's it.
Hayden: you don't have to tell her anything
Hayden: But also selfishly I would love it if you told her something
Hayden: But I know you maybe can't
Something occurs to Hayden. Jackie's out, even if none of the straight WAGs can seem to remember it.
Hayden: You remember Jackie's bi too, right? And good at privacy.
Hayden: When she knows why the privacy is necessary.
Hayden: Right now she is Extremely Curious.
Jackie's phone rings. Shane Hollander.
---
Jackie picks up the phone.
"Hey Shane," she says. "What the fuck, dude?"
"Hiya, Jackie," says Shane, his voice strained. "I... may have freaked out a little."
"No shit. You gonna tell me what's up? Hayden met your Boston girl! When do I get to meet her?"
"So, uh." There's the sound of a door closing on the other end. "Sorry, give me a second." She hears fabric rustle, like he's sitting down for this.
"Boston boy," comes the voice over the phone.
"Say that again?" says Jackie.
"Boston boy. I'm gay."
A grin spreads across Jackie's face.
"No wonder you wouldn't let me put him in the WAG chat. That's awesome, Shane."
Shane lets out a breathy laugh. "Thanks, Jackie."
"We love you, Shane," she says.
"Thanks. I mean, love you guys too."
"Soooo..." Jackie draws out the vowel, "When do I get to meet your Boston boy?"
Hayden shifts uncomfortably.
"...I'll have to talk to him," Shane says. "He's, uh. Not out. And. Yeah. It's a whole thing."
Jackie absorbs this. "Okay. Yeah. Ask him. Ask him to come to dinner at our place -- or, wait, shit, he lives in Boston, obviously. Video call or something?"
"Something," says Shane.
"Tell me something, though. Like, first name?" Hayden shakes his head immediately, and Shane says "No way," at the same time.
"Fine. Is he hot?"
"Yes," Shane and Hayden chorus. Jackie laughs, which sets off Shane, which sets off Hayden.
"Is he Ilya Rozanov?" Jackie asks boldly.
Silence on the other end.
Hayden braces for disaster.
"What." Shane says.
"Boston," Jackie says simply.
The line clicks off again.
Hayden spirals silently for two minutes and fifty-five seconds. Jackie worries her lower lip. She looks at Hayden. Hayden refuses to meet her eyes.
Hayden: I swear I didn't
Hayden: she has crazy intuition I'm sorry
Hayden: she may also have been on AO3
Hayden: *definitely been on AO3
No reply.
But exactly twenty-four seconds later, the phone rings again. Jackie answers it.
"Shane?"
"He says he'll say hi to you. Hold on," comes Shane's voice.
The display on Jackie's phone tells her that a new person has been added to the call.
"Hello, Jackie Pike," comes a familiar Russian voice.
Jackie celebrates her victory with almost as much obnoxious delight as, well, Ilya Rozanov.
"Hello, Ilya Rozanov," she replies, slightly flirtatiously. Hayden realizes immediately that they will be unstoppable friends.
"I see we are bisexual Montreal WAGS together, yes?"
"Oh my god," Shane and Hayden say in unison. Jackie grins ear-to-ear.
"It's good to meet you at last. Shane's been crazy about you for so long."
"Oh really?"
"Shut up!"
"Oh, you are not crazy about me? Remember that thing --"
"Ilya."
"Shane."
"All right, I'm crazy about you."
"Was that so hard?"
"We have literally been avoiding saying that for eight years because it is, in fact, so hard. Hayden had to help me realize it was you."
"Wait, sorry, how did Hayden help you --" Ilya says.
"Yeah, focus on that part of the sentence, sure," Shane grumbles.
Jackie and Hayden exchange amused looks. This makes. So. Much. Sense.
Also: Eight years?
~~~
(Meanwhile in Boston, the words "it's you" are playing in a loop in a certain bisexual's head.)
~~~
Shane: hayden why are you on AO3
Hayden: ah I see you're familiar with the site
Jackie: have you read this one [link]
Chapter End Notes
which fic did Jackie recommend? sound off!
fifteen points if you can spot the OFMD line I threw in.
If you don't know what stage management is, imagine a delightful toy boat. Now imagine it keeps springing new leaks that you have to keep taping up to keep the water out. Now imagine you are on the boat sailing down the river with twenty highly opinionated actors and designers and technicians and directors and they are all asking you questions and telling you things while you are taping the boat.
Now imagine that you also have to do paperwork.
The primary consolation here is that you have a lot of different kinds and colors of really cool tape. Which generally outweighs everything else.
And also, it's your boat.
Chapter title is not from a song or from the fic, it's just good life advice.
Also shoutout singinilovebooks, NatashaATargaryen, et al. for saying Ilya would be upset that Hayden helped their relationship bc you're right and the chirps are gonna be a whole other level now
Chapter 15: mission control
Chapter Summary
Ruby and Jade have questions.
Why is Dad fighting?
Who fell down?
Will the player who fell down be okay?
"He'll be fine, sweetie. I'm not sure who it was," she lies.
"It was Uncle Shane!" Jade insists. "Twenty-four!"
Chapter Notes
WE'RE FINALLY BACK HELLO! Welcome or welcome back, and if it's welcome back, thanks for sticking around!! Love you all 💖
This is Jackie's POV on chapters 9-13 (Shane getting hit and Hayden and Ilya following him to the hospital).
Shoutout to all the stage managers in the comments last chapter. This is for you. I love you *fist-bumps you like Ilya does with all his players at the end of the game*
Boston v. Montreal, Ilya Rozanov's first game back from Russia
Arthur's finally asleep. Jackie and Ruby and Jade are watching the hockey game, Jackie with a big plastic bowl of popcorn balanced precariously on her belly. They're very pregnant now, and they decided it would be more fun to watch the game at home with Ruby and Jade arguing and coloring in the background than it would be to drive to the rink and spend a whole game with inconsistent bathroom access.
Jackie regrets this decision as soon as they see the hit.
Shane goes down on the ice, someone -- Marleau -- skating away from him. She swears loudly, which pulls Ruby and Jade's attention to the TV, where the medics are approaching the ice and players are gathering around Shane. The camera cuts to Hayden fighting Marleau and she grabs for the remote to turn it off as fast as she can.
Ruby and Jade have questions.
Why is Dad fighting?
Who fell down?
Will the player who fell down be okay?
"He'll be fine, sweetie. I'm not sure who it was," she lies.
"It was Uncle Shane!" Jade insists. "Twenty-four!"
Jade reads too fast. Jackie will have to speak to the school.
"He'll be fine, right?" Ruby asks.
"He should be," Jackie says. "It's part of his job, and he's going to have the best doctors and take lots of rest."
That part is true, at least. But the hit did look bad. Jackie keeps that to herself. "Like we should now." She gets up and herds them up the stairs. "Time to sleep. I'll find out what I can while you brush your teeth."
"But --"
"I don't know any more than you right now. I need to get to my phone," Jackie says, and the idea that their mom doesn't know what's happening seems to stun the twins into compliance, because they go to brush their teeth without further comment.
Jackie finally finds their phone and pulls it out of their pocket.
Okay. Nothing useful in any of their group chats. Nothing from Yuna or David -- they must be with Shane. Nothing from Hayden or Ilya. So Jackie checks the news.
The livestream of the match shows that the game is continuing. Jackie's familiar with the MLH's "show must go on" attitude. It feels wrong today.
They search for news articles, tweets, whatever -- okay. ESPN reports that Shane has been taken to the hospital. The game has resumed after refs broke up several fights. All other players are still on the ice. That explains why Hayden and Ilya haven't texted. God, they must be worried. Jackie fires off separate texts to both of them, as well as a group one to Shane's parents. They're all along the lines of "He'll be okay, call if you need anything." Jackie can be mission control. Jackie's good at mission control. Jackie really wishes they could control this.
But all they can do is wait.
They refresh hockey Twitter.
Speculation. Contradictary information. One person says they saw Shane blink up at the medics, another calls them a liar because they can't have been close enough to see. Useless. She switches back to the news, balanced on the edge of the bed, toes clenched.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Fuck.
Refresh.
Nothing.
Jade and Ruby present themselves for a bedtime story -- they have somehow managed to brush their teeth and change into their pajamas without further prompting. Jackie is struck by a rush of affection for how they've handled their mom having a minor breakdown in front of them, and they cuddle their kids close and shift their focus to them for the next twenty minutes as they tuck them in and read them their bedtime story of choice (Percy Jackson).
Once she closes the book, Ruby is asleep, but Jade asks again about Shane. Jackie checks to see if there are any updates.
Yuna Hollander: At hospital. Appreciate you. Waiting for info.
Hayden: Going to MGH. Tell kids he'll be fine. Might be back very late
Hayden: will video call when/if I see Shane
Hayden: fuck Jackie
Hayden: don't tell them but it looked bad
Jackie reports to Jade that Shane's parents are at the hospital and that Hayden is on his way.
"Can we go?" Jade asks.
"Hayden will video call us once he's able to see Shane, but it might take a few hours. Do you want me to wake you up?"
Jade makes a face. "Maybe?" Jade was notoriously cranky when woken up.
"We can go see him tomorrow probably," Jackie says. "He has people around him now, and we don't want to overwhelm him, yeah? We'll go tomorrow once he's had some time to see the doctors and get patched up."
"Like Paddington," said Jade sleepily. Paddington was a teddy bear that Jackie's sister had mended for Jade a few months ago.
"Yeah," said Jackie, smiling. She gives Jade a last hug and then retreats to the living room with her phone. She calls Hayden.
"Jackie."
"Where are you? Are you on your way?"
"No, I'm, uh. Waiting to get out of the parking lot."
"It's crowded?"
"Yeah. No. Everyone left, I'm just. Fuck."
"Hayden?"
"I'm waiting for, uh, Lily."
"Oh thank god, okay. Better for you both to go together. Keep each other focused and all. Drive safe, okay? He'll be fine."
"He'll be fine," says Hayden, trying to convince himself.
"He'll be fine."
"He'll be fine."
"He'll be fine."
"He'll be fine. Okay. I'm going to call Ilya. Lily. I don't know. Love you. See you."
"Love you too."
Jackie goes to bed. She closes her eyes but doesn't really sleep, checking her phone periodically.
Hayden: He's fine.
Thank God.
Hayden: Concussion, fractured ribs. Full recovery. Thank fuck. Out for playoffs.
Jackie: Thank fuck.
Hayden: Sorry I didn't text earlier. It's been crazy here.
Jackie: Can we video call him?
Jackie: Oh shit. Concussion. Audio call?
Hayden: Shane's parents saw Lily. Wish us luck. We're fucked.
Hayden: maybe
Hayden: idk
Jackie: Oh my god
Jackie: did they seem okay?
Hayden: i can't tell
Hayden: and yes, please call me if you don't hear from me in fifteen minutes
Hayden: assume david hollander has killed me for defending ilya's honor against yuna
Hayden: sorry yuna
Hayden: idk I'm sxared of her
Jackie: Okay. Breathe.
The last message isn't read. Jackie sets a fifteen-minute timer and waits.
Fourteen minutes and thirty-five seconds later, Hayden calls.
Chapter 16: sunshine
Chapter Summary
Hayden calls home from Shane's hospital room, and Ilya meets the best Pikes.
Chapter Notes
Jackie picks up the phone. "Hello?" she says automatically.
On the other end, Hayden starts crying.
"Hayden. Hayden! Is he okay?" Jackie's getting worried now.
"Yes! Yes, no, he's fine. Sorry. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine," Hayden repeats. "It's just been a fucking day."
Jackie exhales with relief.
"You want me to come to the hospital?"
"Jesus, no. Sleep. Tomorrow," Hayden says. It's very late, and he's not about to ask Jackie to do that. "I should probably come back soon anyway. He's got his parents and Lily."
"So they --"
"I don't know. They're going to go talk to him. I haven't checked."
"Okay," Jackie says.
They talk about nothing for a while, just bringing each other down from the high emotions of the day. After about twenty minutes, the door opens and Jade walks in.
"I woke up," she explains. "Dad?" Jade asks, pointing to the phone.
"Yeah," says Jackie, handing it over. "Uncle Shane's fine," she adds, remembering that Jade doesn't know yet. "He broke some bones but he'll be good as new in a few months."
Jade basically falls on the floor with relief, and chats to Hayden lying flat on her stomach on Jackie's carpet. Is Uncle Shane okay? Did you see him? Can I see him?
"His parents are with him now," Hayden says, "but it's probably time I checked on him anyway." Hayden gets up from where he's sitting in the stairwell. Jackie sees the hospital wander past shakily in the background as Hayden makes his way back to Shane's room.
Hayden gets to the closed door of Shane's room and hesitates. There are quiet voices inside. Nobody sounds loud or angry, which is a good sign. He considers leaving and coming back later, once they're done talking, but --
"Where is he?" Jade asks over the phone.
-- but it's ridiculous to wait until Shane's parents leave. First of all, they might not leave all night. Second of all, if they were going to have a big personal conversation they're probably done by now. All right.
He knocks softly. Ilona opens the door, a tired smile on her face. She nods Hayden in.
He takes in the scene. Shane and Ilya are lying curled up in the bed, half-asleep. Yuna and David are sitting in chairs, David doing a crossword and Yuna resting her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed. David gives Hayden a nod as he comes in.
"Hi," Hayden whispers, turning the volume down on his phone. "Everything okay in here?"
David smiles. "Everything's okay. He's a sweet boy." Hayden wants to hug him. "He is," he replies. "They both are."
On the other end of the call, Jackie's shoulders drop in relief. The parents are cool. How many times have they gone through this same cycle of suspense? They exhale and snuggles up more comfortably in the blankets. They pat the bed, and Jade jumps up off the floor, cuddling up next to Jackie and holding the phone carefully so they can both see the screen. All they can see is Hayden's face and a blurry hospital room, but Jackie hears Shane's voice declare, "I'm awake. You don't have to whisper." A loud, sleepy groan answers in protest. Jackie can't place the voice, but she has a pretty good guess.
"Hey Shane," Hayden says, turning and going to the bed. "Jade wants to say hi, is that okay?"
Shane's face lights up. "Jade! She's still awake?"
"She's worried about you, buddy," Hayden informs him. Shane's face transforms into concern, and he takes the phone.
"Hey Jade!" he says cheerfully. "Thanks for calling me!!"
"Woah," says Jade from the other end of the phone. "You have a lot of bandages."
"Eh, you should see the other guy," Shane jokes. Ilya's woken up a bit more now and has shifted to look at the screen. "My kid," Hayden explains, "Jade." Ilya smiles. He stays just out of frame, but listens to the conversation.
On the other end, Jade looks at Jackie in confusion.
"He's pretending he got hurt in a fight and he beat up the other guy worse," Jackie explained. "Which is not true. I will be having words with Marleau."
"'Sokay," Shane slurs. "Part of the game."
"Are you okay?" Jade asks bravely.
"I'm going to be fine, Jade," Shane smiles. "I've got your family, and my parents, and --" he looks at Ilya, who nods -- "my boyfriend to take care of me." He moves the phone and Ilya waves at Jade.
Jade looks at Jackie again. "Who's that?"
"That's Uncle Ilya," Jackie explains. "Say 'Hello, uncle Ilya.'"
"Hi uncle Ilya," says Jade, waving back. Ilya's face splits into a huge smile.
"Hi Jade!" he says, beaming. "Thank you for calling!"
Jade studies him. "You're welcome for calling," she says. "Are you also a hockey player?"
"Yes."
"Okay," Jade says. "Are you going to come to our house?"
"Are you inviting me?"
"I don't know." Jade looks at Jackie for help. Jackie takes back the phone and fills in, "Yes, Ilya. Anytime."
"Thank you for inviting me."
Shane's half asleep on Ilya's chest by now, so Ilya hands the phone back to Hayden. Jade yawns and climbs into the bed, cuddled up next to Jackie. Jackie chats quietly to Hayden as he drives back home, Jade falling slowly asleep beside her.
What a day.
In the morning, they update Ruby, who cheers at the top of her lungs (causing Jade to complain, even more loudly, that Ruby is DESTROYING HER EARDRUMS), and then they all go visit Shane in the hospital.
Jackie and Hayden watch as Ilya asks Ruby questions about her friends and her favorite characters, listening intently to the answers, while Jade and Shane play with Jade's orca plushie. Meanwhile in the corner, David and Yuna are going gaga over baby Arthur. Shane and Ilya hold hands the entire time.
Jackie bumps her shoulder into Hayden's. "You think our kids will be okay?"
Hayden kisses her, then wraps his arm around her. "I think they'll be just great."
Chapter End Notes
if you'd like the story to have a neat ending, you may consider this your ending <3
if you'd like an indefinite number of bonus chapters that may or may not wrap up their plots neatly, please read on & subscribe <3
thank you for reading!!! ya tebya lyblyu <3
Chapter 17: BONUS: I'm coming to the delivery room
Chapter Summary
Jackie’s jaw has gone slack. She shakes her head. She opens her mouth. Closes it. Stares over Hayden’s shoulder.
Hayden turns to follow her gaze.
Oh. Oh.
Scott Hunter is kissing a man.
Chapter Notes
Hi I'm back! I think the end of the last chapter is as close as I'm going to get to a neat ending. But I've been wanting to write the cup kiss, so at long last I present: Bonus Chapter: The Cup Kiss Reactions (feat. Amber's birth). There might be more bonus chapters later. Thank you for reading!!! I love you!!!
Also:
- Jackie gives birth in this chapter, mostly off-page
- I've bumped this up to M just to be safe as there's a non-detailed sex scene in this chapter, but lmk if T would be more accurate. I'm not sure.
- this is about to be very mixed-format; get ready <3
After Montreal gets knocked out of the playoffs, Hayden gratefully goes back home. Jackie’s due, like, right after the playoffs end, which was definitely on the earlier side of the dates they'd been aiming for.
Anyway, Hayden very very secretly mentally thanks Marleau for ensuring the Metros would lose early. He’s not happy Shane is injured, but he is glad to be home with Jackie. Today, the two of them are watching the Stanley Cup finals. The kids are all upstairs -- Arthur slept a while ago, and Jade and Ruby gave up on the game after the first period.
The Admirals win the Cup. Hayden rolls his eyes and gets up to go get some water. He’s about to get a glass out of the cupboard when --
“HAYDEN!”
It’s a scream. Hayden slams the cupboard door shut and runs back to Jackie, kneeling in front of his heavily pregnant spouse and trying to figure out what’s wrong. “What -- are you okay?”
Jackie’s jaw has gone slack. She shakes her head. She opens her mouth. Closes it. Stares over Hayden’s shoulder.
Hayden turns to follow her gaze.
Oh. Oh.
Scott Hunter is kissing a man.
The camera sweeps around this like it was pre-planned, but -- it couldn’t have been, right? Unless -- Jesus. Hayden’s mind is torn from speculating on the logistics of a live broadcast of an unexpected, earth-shattering event by the fact that Scott Hunter is kissing a man on international television. And smiling like it’s the best day of his life. Belatedly, Hayden remembers that it probably is the best day of his life -- he finally got the Admirals a cup, after all -- but -- that suddenly seems like it happened fifteen million years ago.
As Hayden stares at the TV, Jackie slowly regains the ability to breathe. She puts her hands on his shoulders and squeezes, exhaling.
“Oh my God,” says Hayden.
“Oh my God,” echoes Jackie, immediately. A cheer startles out of Hayden, and pretty soon they’re both laughing and bouncing on the couch and cheering loud enough to wake up the whole house. Hayden kisses Jackie messily and Jackie grabs their ass, and huh Hayden just thought of themselves as a they for the first real time. He -- they? both? she? who the fuck knows -- grins and kisses Jackie some more.
They finally separate for breath. Jackie’s smiling from ear to ear, and Hayden’s hands are on them -- Jackie -- immediately. A few minutes later Jackie’s coming -- and a few seconds after that, they wince in sudden pain.
Hayden knows that face. He notes down the time on the wall clock.
Jackie manages to breathe. The contraction passes.
“You feeling okay?”
Jackie nods. “Yeah. We’ve still got plenty of time, I think.”
Hayden nods. “You wanna sleep down here?” Jackie considers the stairs for a moment and then nods. Hayden kisses Jackie and goes upstairs to get some pillows and blankets and reassure Jade and Ruby.
Jackie breathes and looks around the room. Hayden’s phone is on the table, open to a notes page with the time and approximate duration of Jackie’s contraction typed in. Jackie picks up the phone and adds “(came due to scott hunter-related euphoria)” and then deletes it.
An idea comes to mind. Jackie finds Scott Hunter’s number in Hayden’s phone. There are no direct messages, but it looks like they were in some kind of all-stars group chat together at one point
Jackie Pike to Scott Hunter:
This is Jackie, Hayden’s spouse. I want to say congratulations on coming out and on the Cup. Hayden and I were so thrilled for you that it sent me into early labor. Literally. I am not joking. (Not very early, just by like a week, don’t worry.)
Oh. To clarify. We were thrilled for you about your sweetheart. We were a normal amount of sportsmanlike about your winning the cup.
Hayden Pike to Scott Hunter:
hey good job
and thank you
Rose Landry to Shane Hollander:
!!!
did you know?
Scott Hunter to Hayden Pike:
thank you
and you’re welcome?
Shane Hollander to Rose Landry:
can we call? please?
Rose Landry to Shane Hollander:
tomorrow night okay? are you okay?
Hayden Pike to Scott Hunter:
❤️💜💙
Scott Hunter to Hayden Pike:
you?
Hayden Pike:
yes, and my spouse, who's nonbinary (they/she)
Scott Hunter:
oh
wow
thanks for telling me
Shane Hollander to Rose Landry:
I'm okay. I'm great actually. Like very.
Rose Landry to Shane Hollander:
👀👀👀
Shane Hollander to Rose Landry:
you'll have to wait until tomorrow to hear
Rose Landry to Shane Hollander:
😭
Scott Hunter to Hayden Pike:
you’re not the only other player to come out to me btw
obviously I won’t say who but you should know we’re not alone
Hayden Pike to Scott Hunter:
thanks man
I think you showed us all that
Scott Hunter:
it’s been great, actually
I thought it was just me and Ryan and Baldwin and Lundin
(“Has Hunter not picked up on Bennett?” Hayden asks Jackie, passing the phone over. “I guess not?” Jackie replies. “Or he’s only naming publically out players? Hold on, Hunter’s texting me back.”)
Scott Hunter to Jackie Pike:
Oh wow congrats on the baby! Or good luck with labor? Did you send me that while you were in labor?
Wait you don’t have to answer that
I don't mean to be invasive
Hi, this is Kip. Scott is embarrassed now. He says thank you.
Jackie Pike to Scott Hunter:
Haha yes I'm still in labor and I need distractions
*early labor
Hayden Pike to Scott Hunter:
yeah there’s more of us than you think
–
To: hunter.scott@nyadmirals.com
From: ryanprice@guardians.com
Good job, Hunter. Proud of you.
–
FABIAN (@fabian) tweeted:
hockey players can be gay now?? where was this energy when I was seventeen
anyway congrats Scott Hunter 🏳️🌈
–
Harris!! (@applesandpuppies) tweeted:
oh my god
–
Troy Barrett (@barrettguardians) tweeted:
Congrats to the Admirals.
–
Ilya Rozanov (@roz81) tweeted:
Congrats to my bruised ribs and Hollander’s broken collarbone for winning the Admirals the cup. We try to be kind to the elderly.
Reply from @cmarlow: Again, I am so sorry @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Reply from @shanehollanderhockeyplayer: It’s okay! I'm better.
–
Shane Hollander (@shanehollanderhockeyplayer) tweeted:
Congrats to the NY Admirals on a season well played!
–
Hayden Pike (@353535) tweeted:
New York gets the Cup and the hot smoothie man? Not fair!
–
Text conversation:
Eric: SCOTT OH MY GOD
Eric: SCOTTY I'M SO PROUD OF YOU
Eric: you bagged yourself a great guy hunter
Scott: Thanks, Benny <3
Eric: <3
Text conversation:
Kyle: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
Kyle: KIP
Kyle: KIPSTOPHER
Kyle: NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND MY ASS
Kyle: OH MY GODDDDDD
Kyle: wait I fully thought you guys broke up before you went to grad school?
Kyle: like haven’t you not talked to him in three years?
Kip: we did
Kip: he saved seats for me anyway
Kip: every game
Kyle: dude you are literally a romance character
Kip: i know
Kip: i’m never leaving again they will bury me with this man
To: hunter.scott@nyadmirals.com
From: hollander24@metros.ca
Hi Scott,
Hope this finds you well. I just wanted to congratulate you on your win, as well as on going public with your partner. He seems really nice. I admire your bravery. Thank you for being a light, and I hope you both get to relax, now that the season is over.
Sincerely,
Shane Hollander
Captain, Montreal Metros
Reply:
Hi Shane,
Thanks for your kind words. It means a lot. And thanks for being injured so we made it to the finals :)
Scott
Reply:
Scott,
I will be framing that quote and sending it to my mother for her birthday. Thank you.
And while obviously I'm pissed we got eliminated, in a weird way, I’m glad you won.
Regards,
Shane
---
Ilya doesn’t send an email. Doesn’t tweet anything unusual (well, not too unusual -- he couldn't resist referring to himself and Shane as "we"). Nothing goes in writing. Instead, he finds Hunter at a club’s aptly named Scott Hunter Night.
“Hunter,” he says.
Scott looks at him. “Oh, hi, Rozanov,” he says, a little surprised.
Ilya surprises himself and Hunter by pulling him into a hug. He clasps Hunter’s shoulder. Then he leaves.
Hunter stares at him, bewildered. Next to him, Kip’s mouth falls open.
“Oh,” says Kip. “Oh.”
Scott looks at him, still confused. Kip quickly shakes his head and smoothly turns Scott’s attention to the next song.
----
Group chat: Hayden, Jackie, Shane, Lily
Hayden: image.jpg
Lily: !!!!CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Shane: 🥹🥹🥹 Congratulations!!!!
Lily: 🥰🥰🥰
Hayden: haha Jackie says thank you!!!
Hayden: I also say thank you
Lily: name?
Hayden: Amber!
Shane: so tiny
Lily: looks just like you both
Hayden: i knowwww
Shane & Lily
Lily: shane
Shane: I know.
Call lasted 1 hr 21 min.
Chapter End Notes
and yeah, Hollanov have baby fever now. and I firmly believe Kip would clock Ilya; for further reading please see Grady v. Rozanov (19912 words) by Pickle_Chips
Afterword
End Notes
Thanks for reading <3
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