This chat is dangerous

Montreal WAGs

Yesterday 10:15 PM
Sarah
remember how I said my cousin would be in town this week?

APPARENTLY she's coming off a breakup and didn't tell me

she needs a rebound bad

does anyone here have a brother/cousin/friend who's single and willing to go on a date? 🥺

Maria
Maybe controversial but what about Shane? He's been single like, the entire time I've been dating Gilbert

Sarah
oh shit do you think he'd be interested? shes really into nerds so that would work out great

Nora
Is Shane looking to date tho?

Jackie
.......

Nora
Okay suspiciously long ellipses, what do you know 👀

Jackie
I don’t know anything! I just don’t think he’s open to dating right now, sorry Sarah :(

Sarah
setting my cousin aside for a second. TELL US EVERYTHING??

Jackie
Okay I know we have no secrets here but I'm really not supposed to say anything……

Maria
So there is something to know, I see I see

Eliana
wait is there finally tea on shane?? im not scrolling that far up to find out

Nora
There will be if Jackie will kindly spill it!!

Jackie
I’ve been sworn to secrecy, everyone, I’m sorry!

Eliana
what if i babysit next time theyre back from a roadie so you and hayden can go on a very long, even overnight date?

Jackie
..........

Fine. Eli, I’ll text you the date as soon as I know

Eliana
yes ma’am o7

Sarah
youre an angel eli

Maria
THANK YOU ELIANA

Nora
Now tell us everything!!!!

Jackie
I really don’t know that much, just to warn you all

What happened is that Hayden told me he's been texting the same girl for like, years at this point. I don't know if they're dating or not but Shane always says no to us when Hayden, JJ, or I try to set him up with people

And he's so shy, we don't know anything about her except her name and maybe where she lives

Nora
So where is she from??

Sarah
better question, what’s her name?

Maria
BETTER QUESTION, did you just say YEARS Jacqueline McMurray Pike??????

Eliana
YEARS????????

Jackie
Her name is Lily, she’s from Boston (we think!), and I have no idea about the timeline

Like I said, I really don’t know that much. I just don’t think he’d say yes if we tried to set him up with Sarah’s cousin

Nora
Yuck, Boston

It’s okay I guess, Shane can have bad taste

Maria
We don’t know her yet, maybe she’s one of the good ones

Sarah
in boston tho?

Maria
Well if Shane likes her….

Eliana
so like are we adding her to this chat or what?

if its really been years then we have to!!!! shes one of us!!!

Jackie
I don’t know….

Nora
My turn to bribe. I will bring over so many of those chocolates you like, babe. So Many.

Jackie
This chat is dangerous

Sarah
hell yeah we are 😎

Nora
Is that a yes???

Jackie
..........

I’ll try my best

Maria
Yes!!!

Yesterday 11:37 PM
Gianna
what’d I miss??

Sarah
my cousin needs a date and shane hollander has a girlfriend

Gianna
omg????

Jackie (LOML♥️👑)

Today 6:35 AM
Babe

You have no idea how much I just risked to get you this damn number

If you don’t hear from me, it’s because Shane killed me dead

Shared Contact: Boston Lily

Thank you!!

I love you! Please don’t die!

Maybe: Jackie

Today 7:04 AM
Hi, is this Lily?

wtf who this

I’m Jackie Pike. Hayden Pike’s wife. From the Voyageurs

ok…

I’m sorry to contact you out of the blue, but we realized you weren’t in the Montreal WAGs chat and I wanted to extend an invitation

This is Lily right? From Boston? Shane’s girlfriend?

Today 7:29 AM
...... yes

how you get my number?

shane give it to you?

Yeah. In a sense

ha you stole it

I can’t confirm or deny that

is funny so idc

Honestly I’m a little relieved, I was worried you might be angry

angry? no no

i tell him many times to watch his phone

Usually Hayden doesn’t snoop, if that helps?

eh

Shane hasn’t told Hayden and I much about you but we’d like to get to know you, if you’re okay with it

He really seems to like you, but he’s hiding you away from everyone! It’s not fair

Me and the girls want to make sure you’re being included

And anyone Shane likes, we like too

Sorry, I'm a little nervous

Today 8:11 AM
no don’t, he has bad taste

but… that is sweet

you are good friends to him

maybe i join

Everyone will be so excited to meet you

Actually I hope it’s not too overwhelming

You can leave any time, I promise!

ok

Montreal WAGs

Today 9:23 AM
Jackie added Lily to the chat
Jackie
Here it is, Lily! Everyone, this is Lily, Lily this is everyone

hi

Nora
Hi Lily!! It’s so great to meet you! I’m Henri (Beaulier)’s wife

I want to greet you normally before the horde comes and freaks you out 😅

ha! is okay i like freaks

Nora
No offense but what are you doing with Shane then?

maybe i tell you some day we not first meeting 😏

Nora
That’s fair

Eliana
i love you already girl

is a little soon no? and you know i have boyfriend

Eliana
and youre funny??? oh were keeping you

yes yes im wonderful

thank you, random phone number

Eliana
OH SORRY

im elianna morrissette, im dating patrice. i promise im normal

oh goalie, good choice

not as good as captain but i understand

Eliana
YOU GET IT

goalies just make me -clenches fist- SO FERAL

Maria
Wow Jackie that was fast. Hi Lily, I’m Maria Romero, it’s great to have you here. We’ve been dying to know more about Shane

Jackie
@Maria Yeah Hayden might kill me but it’ll be worth it

Gianna
hi Lily! I’m Gianna, I’m Schneider’s wife

@Maria fr I’ve been trying to be friends with Shane for like 3 years, I’m so glad we have an in now

oh you are mrs schneider?

he is shy but he likes you

likes your pot roast so much made me jealous

Gianna
really? wow I’m so happy to hear that, I’ll make some the next time we can convince him to come over

but I’m sure you make a good pot roast too!!

no no

i dont cook

i wanted to try it

very very jealous

Gianna
♥️

I’ll definitely make you some next time you’re in town

Today 11:29 AM
would be nice, thank you

Jane

Today 11:31 AM
next time schneider invite you over, say yes

Hello to you too

Where the hell is this coming from?

no time for that

get me pot roast

???

Montreal WAGs

Today 4:18 AM
Cassidy
Idc that its 4 am, the baby is finally asleep and I was FINALLY able to catch up on this chat

Literally 400+ messages BTW I was only gone for 2 days!!

@Sarah my brother is a nerd and also needs a rebound after his last gf, hmu

Wait a second…..

@Lily HELLO??? Shane Hollander's girlfriend???? In our humble WAGs chat???????

I’m actually in shock, I think. I really thought he would just marry the rink or something

No this is awesome. He needs to get laid fr

Not that I can talk 😭 if Miity doesn’t come home soon I swear I’m going to start eating drywall

Oh god you’re all going to wake up to my 4 am ramblings this is so embarrassing

you have small baby, is okay

and yes hello i am lily

he would not marry rink, he would marry ice… obviously

Cassidy
Oh fuck youer awake

yes

what is eating drywall?

Cassidy
Oh my god

I need you to erase all of this from your memory Lily, this CANNOT be your first impression of me

I promise I don’t talk about ur man’s sex life 😭 it’s just I haven’t slept more than 3 hours at a time in like 3 weeks so I don’t know what I’m saying

no is okay, shane does need to get laid

Cassidy
Omg

you did not answer. drywall?

Cassidy
Oh shit the baby is crying oh well got to go nice to meet you Lily!!!

Today 6:39 AM
Eliana
DKJFHDSKJAH cass babe…. im coming over today, on god we are gonna get you some sleep

i will bring some melatonin

@Lily it means she’s horny lmaooo

ahh ok ok

maybe voyageurs will lose badly at next game and miity can be home ♥️

Sarah
i can’t tell if this is sweet or if i’m offended….

Maria
It can be both

Where’s the loyalty??

Nora
This is what we get for Shane having a Bostonian girlfriend smh

yes yes so sad 💔

Jane

Today 7:01 AM
hello jane :)

see i remember this time

anyway

are you eating drywall

Am I What

I swear I used to know what you were talking about on the first try

Did you watch that weird addictions show or something?

no wtf

no show

[IMG_8743.jpg]

understand now?

It’s 7 am! How are you so horny already, oh my god

send glasses pic

No, go fuck yourself

i am, is why i want glasses pic hello?

[IMG_8744.jpg]

I hate you

[IMG_2351.jpg]

oh god

call me

Montreal WAGs

Today 10:17 AM
Cassidy
Eli is an angel and I’m stealing her from Drapeau immediately

Also I am SO SORRY for all of my embarrassing rambling earlier 😭

I haven’t spoken to anyone but chubchub and the dog in like, 2 days

Sarah
it’s okay babe!!

baby brain gets the best of us all

or so i hear

Jackie
Right… not suspicious at all

Sarah
idk what ur talking about?

all of my friends have had kids ofc i know about baby brain

anyway hi @Lily i have a question

i told erik (olsson #26 my bf) ur in the chat and he said he’d never heard about you

so like why are u and shane a secret?

Nora
Holy subject change, Batman

Maria
I also want to know but I wasn’t going to ask the second day we even know you

Sarah
sorry lily i didnt mean to push you too much!! you don’t have to answer. we can talk about something else

Gianna
like you totally not being pregnant?

Sarah
haaahahahaha you guys are so funny

where’s eli when you need her??

i see why cass had 400+ messages

@Sarah ah difficult question

there are many reasons

Sarah
honestly as long as i’m being nosey…

like what? 👀

maybe im ugly

Nora
No that can’t be it

Gianna
I’m sure that’s not true!!

Jackie
There’s no way. Hayden said he saw Shane call you beautiful once

ugh i tell shane so many times about phone screen

Nora
They never listen smh I should’ve known Shane would be the same

I had so many hopes for him….

is okay

he trust pike for some reason

sorry jackie

Jackie
It’s okay?

but ok ur right that is not why

Jackie
I’m really curious too, obviously he likes you a lot so I can’t imagine what the reason could be

Sarah
maybe lily is married?

this is a safe space, you can tell us if shane is your boy on the side

ha!

i like that

no not married

i am… celebrity

hard to keep private life private

it is easier this way

Nora
Aw that makes sense :(

Jackie
So no one knows about you guys? That’s why Shane didn’t tell Hayden?

you know now

is enough for now

Sarah
better question, how famous are you?

oh sorry i cannot read english

so sorry goodbye

Sarah
omg are you really really famous?

ARE YOU ROSE LANDRY???

wow no answer do we really have hollywood royalty in our humble wag chat??

no

not rose landry

Nora
Are you that lady on that morning baking show? I can’t think of the name but the one Shane is always watching

sunny side up?

no not me

Maria
I want more hints before I start just saying every single celeb name I know about

sure ok here is hint

you will never guess

Elianna
hey whatd i miss?

LILY IS FAMOUS??

maybe a little

maybe a lot

Sarah
OH IT’S SO ON

:)

Montreal WAGs

Today 5:38 AM
Jackie
Hayden just woke me up and when I said “what do you want” he said “do you think they can see us?”

I said “Who can see us???” and he said “the corner people” then closed his eyes and immediately started snoring

Now I can’t fall asleep and keep looking at the corner waiting for something to come out of it and try to eat me

Does anyone need a husband? We can negotiate prices

do not worry jackie

the corner people only eat hockey players so you are safe

Jackie
That does not make me feel better actually…

Whatever I’m going to just get up and enjoy the alone time

What are you doing up, Lily?

😏

Jackie
Oh?

Is Shane with you?

yes

he is sleeping

he worked very hard last night

Jackie
Damn, get it girl

I guess if he’s tired at practice today we’ll know why haha

if he is limping

am not sorry

Cassidy
Stop I’m so jealous 😭

Jackie
Aww Cass

Do you need Hayden and me to come over?

what is wrong?

Cassidy
Nothing my hormones are just raging

My baby won’t stop crying and I’m so fucking hungry right now and Miity won’t touch me anymore

But really nothing is happening, I’m fine

is not nothing

but is fixable

we deal with one thing at a time

eat first, will help

baby can sit for a second or husband can get up and help

Cassidy
No, I don’t wanna wake Miity

He’s already so tired from work I don’t want to make it worse

You know they played Boston last night, he’s exhausted

is just hockey. this is family

he should help you

do you have easy food? banana or toast maybe?

Cassidy
We don’t have anything fuck

I haven’t gone to the store in ages

I feel like I’m going to throw up

Jackie
Cass I’m going to call you

Jackie

Today 5:54 AM
is she ok?

I was able to calm her down a little but I don’t think she ate

Their baby (do you know her name? It’s Skye) was crying the whole time, I think she has colic :(

colic? i do not know this

whatever don’t care

what is cass address

and what food she like?

Lily, you don’t have to do that. I’m going to go over there once Hayden wakes up

Jackie

send address

please :)

Shared Contact: Cassidy

It should be on there

Something plain is fine. I don’t think she can handle anything too spicy or sweet right now

And seriously, thank you. You barely know her and you’re doing this for her anyway

yes yes i’m amazing

will be named best wag ever

I’ll let you deflect this time because you really are awesome ❤️

Montreal WAGs

Today 7:03 AM
Cassidy
[IMG_3463.jpg]

Whoever sent this I love you

I’ve been crying for the past 15 minutes but thank you thank you

Maria
Just backread, sending you hugs, Cass

Let me know if me and Taylor can do anything to help okay?

Also is that from that really fancy place downtown?

Cassidy
Yes 😭😭😭😭

Nora
It wasn’t me but I’m so glad you’re able to eat something, hon

Did Miity come help after all?

Cassidy
Yes bc he smelled the food lol

It’s okay, he’s got chubchub so I can eat

He’s complaining about having to wait but I really don’t care I’m starving

Jane

Today 7:12 AM
next game

i am going to kill goalie

I know you don’t like the Admirals but what did Andersson do to you??

no not admirals

our next game

make new plans without miitka

Yeah I’m not any less confused here

i do not like your teammates

Yes, I know, because you tell me often

you are only one worth playing against

is no fun to win against children

Whatever

Put the cigarette out and come back, I’m not done with you yet

i am not smoking i told you

but ok

yes captain

Montreal WAGs

Today 7:15 AM
Maria
So really, who sent it?

Was it you Jackie?

Jackie
No, Lily did

Sorry I don’t know if she wanted me to say that or not

Cassidy
Too late

THANK YOU @LILY that is so kind of you

Someday when my brain isn’t melted I WILL take you out to eat as a thank you

Nora
Wow she’s just like sugar daddy Shane

Elianna
what a great time to pop in here

what the hell is sugar daddy shane 👁️👄👁️

idk that story did it happen before my time??

Nora
LMAO there’s not really a “story” it’s just his personality

Eli the more you get to know him, the more you’ll see

Jackie
”Idm paying for dinner it’s okay you have kids I don’t” “yes I got your kids $500 worth of presents” “the $1000 wedding gift you put on your list as a gag is on its way”

That sort of thing

Maria
It’s that Calvin Klein money

Elianna
omg???

@lily is this true

also pleaes tell me all of ur thoughts about the ck ads im so curious

Today 7:32 AM
Elianna
no response… she doesnt wanna fess up about being into a sugar daddy smh

its okay we all know shane is a hottie

theres no shame

Maria
Lol maybe she’s just busy?

Probably mourning her team’s embarrassing loss last night 💔

Jackie
Haha no I’m sure she’s fine

Nora
And what makes you say that Mrs Pike??

Jackie
She’s with Shane :)

Elianna
OOOOOOO

Today 8:46 AM
you are all so loud

shhhhh

Elianna
good morning sunshine or should I say a-list actress omeika ford

no is not me

Elianna
sorry i meant pro skater taguchi kanna

👎

Elianna
no this time i have it

you are definitely russian influencer mashka denisovna

who?

is like i said

you will never guess

Elianna
I WILL

also dont think we dont see you avoiding the question

?

Jackie
I think she means about the CK ad lol

Maria
Lily you should back read, Cassie’s going to take you on a girls date once Skye is older

@Cassidy is sweet thank you

eat well

make stupid husband do his stupid job

@Elianna i like them very much

he is very handsome

i stare at them for long time when they first came out

till i get hand cramps

❤️

happy?

Nora
OMG???

Maria
Wow

You have bad taste in teams but still, good for Shane

Cassidy
FELTTTTTT

Jackie
This is so much more information than I needed about Shane’s sex life

Elianna
i remain confused on how ur personality and shanes match up but idc WE ARE KEEPING YOU HOLY SHIT

Montreal WAGs

Today 3:18 PM
Gianna
I’m back reading and I’m a little confused?

I thought Lily was from boston, were you able to make it to this game?

you should’ve come and sat with us!! I know we’d all love to meet you in person!

yes yes me too 💔

sadly it is impossible

i cannot let eli know who i am or she will win

and i am so busy you understand

with my famous person work

which i cannot talk about….

Sarah
i too missed so much but whatever WHO ARE YOU????

:)

Sarah
ok i scrolled up a little bit. lily, just answer one question

do you work for the boston team? 👀

no i do not work for the team :)

is just lucky timing i get to be here now

Gianna
so you’re on a work trip?

to be honest I don’t really care who you are, sorry Lily. that sounds bad but what I mean is, I’m not asking for clue gathering reasons! I just want to know more about Shane’s girlfriend

ok just for you mrs schneider

yes i am on a work trip

Gianna
aww just for me?

you’re a sweetheart

no i am buttering you ♥️

is that the phrase?

Gianna
haha not quite, it’s ‘buttering me UP’

eh is basically the same

Nora
So what I’m hearing is that your job is something that takes you from Boston to Montreal… interesting

Sarah
while we’re on the topic of asking her questions, do you have a sister?

?

eh not really

Nora
How does one “not really” have a sister?

Wait nevermind I just thought of all the ways and they are all bad, don’t answer that

ha is ok

i say ‘not really’ because there is a girl who i grew up with as friends

but we sometimes also fuck, so

Sarah
wait what about shane?

Maria
Oh? Do we have another bisexual(?) in here?

@Elianna get in here babe

(Also hi, I’ve been lurking, sorry to just cut in)

Nora
Like we’re going to complain about getting to talk to THEE Maria Romero!!

hi maria :)

and yes i am bisexual

i know i know i am very cool and sexy it is so wonderful please hold applause

Jackie
Thanks for trusting us with that, Lily ♥️

Gianna
yeah! sending you all the support honey ♥️

Nora
DW we love bisexuals here!!

...

i am glad

thank you

Sarah
yeah you can count on us!!

we love cool, sexy, and apparently very cocky people

idk why im surprised lollll

Nora
Wait, Lily, I have a very important question

Does Shane like that about you? 👀

?

Nora
That you’re cocky as hell

Wow, once again, my foot. It is in my mouth. That sounds so rude I’m sorry!!! I didn’t mean it like that! He just doesn’t seem like someone who’d like cocky people

I’m gonna stop while I’m ahead

you are so canadian omg

is okay but you should already know

shane like everything about me 😏

Maria
Oh yeah, like what?

ah no

you are going fishing for hints

Maria
Well, yes

Are you going to answer? 👀

Jackie
Just popping in again to say I also want to know!!

Like I told you, we all love Shane, we want to know more about you

so sweet, mrs pike ♥️

but i said already, he likes everything

Maria
I can’t wait to see how you two interact in person

Jackie
Me too

I’m ready to see Shane be down bad

Sarah
SAME

wait i have another one!!

can we know what your first language is?

hmm not going to answer that

but is obviously not english

Gianna
I think we kind of figured, honestly 😅

you are saying my english is bad?

Gianna
what? no, it’s fine! you sound great!

Nora
Who needs to be grammatically correct anyway

yes exactly

grammar rules are stupid

i speak better than i type

this is such a stupid language, stupid spelling

i am tired

Maria
Do you speak French? Most of us do, maybe it would be easier?

Jackie
Aw do you and Shane speak french together?

no no i do not speak that stupid language either

except “on va chez toi ou chez moi?” 😏

i ask shane how to say ‘get on your knees’ but he will not tell me

Nora
OH????

Elianna
i keep opening this chat right as insane shane lore gets dropped WHAT

somene needs to check on him… you mean he has beautiful sexy famous model alicia bechard in his bed and he DOESNT want to get on his knees for her?

please scroll up i do NOT speak stupid french

cannot be french model

also we fucked once so

Elianna
WHAT????

Maria
That’s why we pinged you lol, Lily is bisexual too

A beautiful model, your childhood friend, thee Shane Hollander… girl, you are greedy

I completely respect it tho, hats off to you

🫢

Gianna
haha it’s too early to be learning this much about Shane’s sex life

Maria
Babe it is literally almost 4 in the afternoon

Wait why is Lily texting us instead of spending time with her man?

Sarah
she also dodged the question earlier about shane's thoughts on her fucking her not-sister 👀

shane does not care?

we are not exclusive and my friend and i do not have feelings for each other like that

and i am busy with work

very hard when my phone is exploding 😐

Sarah
stop texting us back then

no

Sarah
WAIT WAIT WAIT

REWIND

NOT EXCLUSIVE?? HELLO???

yes ?

Nora
Wait, I thought you were his girlfriend?

Maria
Wow, I never would’ve thought Shane would be in an open relationship or whatever

Good for him

we do not live in same country so

we see each other when in boston or montreal & i sext him rest of the time

Maria
I’m in shock

sorrey

we have fun, i like him

fuck work is calling

goodbye

Nora
Wow???

I have no idea what to think now lol

Gianna
are they even together…?

Sarah
they have to be, shane shared his pot roast with her

NO ONE shares your pot roast

thats love, girls

Elianna
i have no idea what’s going on except that lily is messy as hell and i love her

i need to go ask shane to let us become best friends

Maria
There’s no way Shane ‘lets’ her do anything lmao

Elianna
you may be right BUT my spidey senses are tingling

my biderman senses

i know a subtop when i see one

Jackie
I am not up to date on all those superhero movies, I have no idea what you mean but I think we should lay off maybe?

I think… as long as they’re happy, I’m happy. Right everyone?

Maria
I am dying of curiosity now tho and she’ll probably never explain 😭

Bostonians live to ruin my day smh

Sarah
LMAO

Nora
Wait Sarah babe

Why did you ask her about having a sister?

Sarah
tbh i kind of figured the way she helped out cass, she might’ve had a sister who’s had a baby?

ah, no. a brother yes. but i was not around for his daughter’s birth

i just hate useless fathers

ok now i must go

have sexy wonderful rest of your days 💋

Montreal WAGs

Tuesday 10:57 PM
i’m so irritated

there’s fucking spider in my room

shane says hes “in montreal” and i “shuld grow up” and “it is little spider it wont bite”

i am city girl i do not do spiders

we are breaking up noww

Maria
Implying you’re even together in the first place

im wag now so of course we are

Maria
I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way lmao, you’ve got it backwards

Please feel free to elaborate on the order of events here, btw 👀

ok?? not my most big problem right now

he is such bad boyfriend smmh

everyone must know shane hollender is an asshole

am willing to give him to loving home for right price 🥲

Jackie
We’ll take him then 😄 he’ll be back where he belongs

ok now i’m even more annoyed

pike cannot have him

not even mrs pike

Gianna
Jackie why would you say that? she’s already upset 😂

yes kick a man while down 💔

*woman

so rude jsckie…

**jAckie

fucking phone

Jackie
Haha sorry Lily, I had to tease you

I promise I’ve only joked about Shane being our boyfriend a few times

?????

so yuo are bth evil??

Gianna
lmao is it your phone or are you drunk?

maube little bit

my people do not get drnuk

iam not lightweght

fuck im not fixinf typos anymore stupid english

brian tired

dont evn want to fight pikke righ now

Jackie
I’m glad?

Are you okay? Did something happen?

Maria
Yeah I don’t think we’ve seen you drink before

somthing has to be wrong for me to dirnk?

maybe iam sad boston lost

Maria
Obligatory fuck Boston

dont know this word

bt yes fuck boston cant bleive we fucking lost

Maria
It was totally Sebbins’ fault, his head wasn’t in the game at all. It was obvious even to me, and I hate everyone on that team

uyo say such nice things maria….

at least rozanov was good

Maria
You can’t make me say nice things about That Man

but?

Maria
No buts

i hear but

Maria
Fine. Like I said it was def Sebbins, not Rozanov. Something wasn’t clicking on second line

yes yes bc roz is prefect cannot do wrong

Gianna
do you ever say that to Shane?

I can’t stop laughing imagining the faces he would make

hollander knwos how i feel

he is second best on ice & in bed

is sad rlly

Elianna
just woke up from a nap to once again find out insane information

are you saying you’ve slept with ilya rozanov????????????

what??

Elianna
”second best in bed” HELLO??? SECOND BEST TO WHO????

Gianna
omg what

Jackie
Does Shane know about this??

Maria
Omg girl did you take “fuck Boston” too literally 💀💀💀

Elianna
WHY ISN’T SHE RESPONDING

laughing too hard fuck

vokda came out my nose

Elianna
lily. we support women’s wrongs here

but this is insane

was it before or after shane????

stop head hrts from lauging

oh i needed that

Jackie
Eli calm down, the way she’s reacting makes me think it didn’t happen

oh yes you could say i have fucked rozanov

many many times

Elianna
ohmygod????????

Jackie
I’m in shock

Hayden just opened his eyes and asked why I’m gaping at my phone

I can’t tell him that his best friend’s girlfriend(?) is sleeping with Ilya Rozanov????

Gianna
wait let’s all calm down, didn’t Lily say they aren’t exclusive?

Maria
You know what

I don’t believe it

We haven’t known you long, Lily, but you are a masterclass troll

And I don’t think Shane would ever go for someone involved with Rozanov

Elianna
but if she’s a celeb in hockey circles she could totally have slept w rozanov

and he would def go after someone involved with shane

why isn’t she ANSDWERING???

lily. lily please. i feel like that meme

did you sleep with our captain’s sworn enemy???

stop stop am joking

Maria
I knew it

Elianna
YOU stop my heart is beating so fast omg!!!

sorry sorry

is too fnuny oh my god

cant breath

ihave not sl

Jackie
What happened?? Are you okay?

fuck the spider is back

mabe neighbor will help

Cassidy
Majorly skimmed this conversation, and you are insane Lily

BUT I am awake and I can deal with spiders!!!

What’s your address? I’ll come help you to make up for the lunch

frist of all no make up it was gidt

*gift

second

Elianna
every time she just suddenly stops texting gives me a heart attack and i’m supposed to be the chill one omg

Maria
Cass, you’re so sweet, but Lily does live in Boston so

I don’t think you can just drive right on over

Cassidy
Oh right….

Well.

Next time then! I WILL return the favor one way or another!!

no thanks

what kind vodka do you like?

will send some

Cassidy
This is not how repaying favors works

Really thank you but don’t waste your money on me, I’m fine!

is not watse wtf

is for fun and relaxacion

**relaxation

Cassidy
If Shane’s not careful I’M going to steal you from him

You’re so weird, where did he find you?

hockey rinck

also i donot share

Maria
What happened to your open relationship

?

anyway

i also dnt like mitty so mabe i can make an excepton

shane would understand

Cassidy
Sorren’s really not that bad

ok

Elianna
this is all very sweet but

CAN WE GO BACK??

if you didn’t mean rozanov then what did you mean second best

i need DETAILS i need CHARTS i need a FIVE PAGE ESSAY

you sound like shane

wow i am into nerd

i shuld make sex chart for him

Elianna
chop chop girl this is no time for being sappy

obviously meant he is not bettr than ME

he cn try but i am best

😏

Elianna
so my heart attack was for nothing

yes

Elianna
i’ve been pacing this whole time, just flopped back into bed and i think i will stay here

maria is right you’re such a troll 😭

yes

if yuo want details

i also troll shane in bed

he like it 😇

Jackie
I have gained net zero information and I’m glad

Lily, please drink some water and try to sleep, maybe

Before you keep stressing out poor Eli

yes yes wag capptain i will stop tortuer now

Jane

Today 11:31 PM
Why did Drapeau’s girlfriend just text me saying I owe her a box of cookies ?

What did you do, Rozanov?

i am innocent

dnt even know her

why, is she hot?

Seriously? Fuck off

mayb she wuld kill spider for me

Are you actually mad at me that I don’t want to get on a flight at midnight or later just to get a spider out of your living room?

we would fuck after obvuously

save me and get good dick

worth flight i think

You’re such a baby

Just get it in a cup or tupperware and put it outside

so it can jmup on me??? fuck no

Then kill it?

no it will tll freinds and aptarmtent will be infected

Infested

yes yes whateevr

is fine

am at svetas now

Really?

yes sorrey no phone sex tonght

Fuck off

Why does Elianna know about any of this?

who?

What did you do, Rozanov?

it is midnight hollander stop txting me

unless 😏

You’re impossible

yes

donot pout i will mkae sex chart for yuo

???

I don’t want a sex chart what the fuck

yes ou do

Are you drunk?

shhh am sleping

Oh my god

End Notes

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