Preface

lily callout post #cancelled
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/88753916.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
Heated Rivalry (TV)
Relationship:
Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Character:
Ilya Rozanov
Additional Tags:
Crack, Social Media, Tumblr, i figured out html for this please like it, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Tumblr, Humor, Mixed Media, Fuck AI, UmaMusume
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2026-07-18 Updated: 2026-08-08 Words: 6,391 Chapters: 5/?

lily callout post #cancelled

by failure_11

Summary

lily8124
whenever rozanov gets put in the box they should put hollander in there too. he needs enrichment.

lily8124
‘ohh lily then how is his team supposed to play?’ dont care. hollander chew toy for rozanov send post

Notes

when does this happen? good question. do i have an answer? good question. no. yes they use memes from like twenty seconds ago yes its vaguely set post show pre-whatever the second book is idfk.

none of the fics reviewed r real except edible arrangements is mine
i made up the usernames if somebody actually has them then im not as clever as i think i am

the workskin stuff is from https://archiveofourown.org/works/11474979
this is 25 pages in my google doc html you are my enemy

Chapter 1: first one

lily8124 lily8124 p!keg!rl callout post on @lily8124 on tumblr and ao3 guys dni w her! shes been harassing me and other people who write top!shane (ESPECIALLY shaydens!) and shes just really parasocial and gross. she commented variations of 'unrealistic, hollander would not top' on EVERY top!shane fic i've written in the span of two hours (likr, hello, have you not heard of dont like dont read? ffs. shes also REALLY weird about shanes freckles, like its honestly kind of fetishizing?? and im SURE she's only so against top!shane because hes asain and 'asian guys are all feminine so he would bottom' like i dont have PROOF but i just get a feeling.. anyways just beware shes been making the rounds on ao3 recently and i dont want anyone to get flashbanged with parasocial fujoshitron 3000 #callout#ao3#hockeyRPF#shayden lily8124 didnt even tag hollanov in stupid callout. you will start coughing in three days. #HOLLANOV#my close personal friend shane hollander would NOT top#this is not because racism this is because he is little slut who needs to be told what to do#and hayden pike is fifteenth best metros player with two thousand kids shane would NEVER 3 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 only 3 fics tagged shane hollander freckles and two of them are sh*yden.. the universe is NOT as it should be #hollanov#ao3 itssohollanover Finally some truth is spoken in this world p!keg!rl this is SO problematic #reported lily8124 me when sh*yden mentioned 7 notes

lily8124 on "he was like, you're so rude"
author i will name firstborn for you please keep writing thes. very good )))

lily8124 on "i've been touring stateside"
hollander is too boring and canadian to do any of this. scott hunter is one thousand years old and pike has one thousand kids hollander would never fuck them. convert to hollanov and you will be reincarnated as a lotus flower

lily8124 on "hat trick"
can you do these things in real life? yes or no asking for friend. please reply soon very important))

lily8124 itssohollanover itssohollanover they hated jesus because he spoke the truth #HOLLANOV 24 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 if this ice dancer anime is mentioned one more time in my hockey pornography i am going to make coworkers watch with me on movie night rozysskates girl you totally should!! its so appropriate for a work setting :) lily8124 this is lie you are liar (((((( #i am banned from movie night suggestions now#this is great tragedy#tumblr user rozysskates you will pay 3 notes

lily8124 rozysskates rozysskates [image description: screenshot of news article 'Cliff Marlow on Boston Captain Rozanov's taste in shows- "yeah, he's banned from picking on movie nights. That one- see, he already knows which one i'm talking about, why the fuck did you want to watch that? it wasn't even a movie, man."'] they were talking about yuri on ice btw tryst i was there lily8124 yes is true. unfortunately all of boston is homophobic and hates beautiful gay love story ((((((((( #homophobia#sad#heartbreak rozysskates girl i KNOW you had something to do with this PLEASE tell me what etsy witch you use i promise to use this information for good 4 notes

lily8124 at the boy aquarium watching the amazing cool sexy sharks (hollander and rozanov) brutally murder all the stupid dumb idiot fish (h*yden p*ke) and then make out (gay) #justgirlythings#hollanov #boy aquarium 12 notes

lily8124 lily8124 slayyyden fanart for @lily8124 cope and seethe whore <3 [image description: homoerotic shayden fanart. tits are barely getting past the 'no female presenting nipples' policy] lily8124 [image description: screenshot of purchase confirmation on etsy with the description "evil one thousand bees and unending hatred curse for mortal enemies spell real witch serious inquiries only] belgiumer this girl is SO funny i love her. @lily8124 we can overcome our differences please sesbian lex will cure your hatred for us shaydens lily8124 only person i am having hot girl on girl makeout sesh with is my close personal friend jane hollander #yuri#wuluhwuh belgiumer hayden pike if he was transgender #shayden lily8124 i will buy tumblr dot com and personally ban your ip adress say your goodbyes 17 notes

belgiumer [image description: screenshot of news article 'Raiders captain Ilya Rozanov allegedly in talks with Yahoo to purchase social media/blogging site Tumblr'] HUH?????????? #IM SORRY LILY I WAS UNAWARE OF YOUR GAME#PLS TELL YOUR ETSY WITCH TO SPARE ME 4 notes

lily8124 itssohollanover itssohollanover [image description: screenshot of news article 'Raiders captain Ilya Rozanov allegedly in talks with Yahoo to purchase social media/blogging site Tumblr'] this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. ilya rozanov tumblr user confirmed?? oh i KNOW hes in the rpf TRENCHES #ao3#hockeyRPF#shayden lily8124 rpf is..? itssohollanover girl you have an in-depth post breaking down hollanov omegaverse dymanics #iloveyoulily8124#whatever is wrong with your mind#leading shanefreckles researcher and not knowing what rpf is#you need to be studied girl#oh and it stand for real person fiction btw :) 9 notes

lily8124 itssohollanover p!keg!rl russian guy buying tumblr.. guys its so shaydenover itssohollanover STEALING MY ENTIRE FLOW GIRL FUCK YOU IT DOESNT EVEN WORK p!keg!rl dont derail my posts like this.. like even h*llan*vs should be able to see why this is an issue or are you all just blind?? itssohollanover FYM????!??!?!?? p!keg!rl hes RUSSIAN girl whats not clicking?? russian sportsguy buying the gay freak website is Bad, Actually #homophobia#russia itssohollanover YOU THINK THIS GUY IS GONNA BE HOMOPHOBIC??? [Image description: ilya rozanov in fuckass leapord print shirt] #be so fr rn#this guy is THE bisexual EVER p!keg!rl go educate yourself this is really embarrasing 4 u... check your priveledge itssohollanover you are actively following the hamilton fanfiction hiv faker dont pmo 81 notes

lily8124 on "rpf is..?"
thank you so much for writing this my close personal friend itssohollanover i am happy to have inspired yet another peak hollanov fic

itssohollanover responding to lily8124 on "rpf is..?"
DID YOU SAY ANOTHER???

lily8124 on "cutting our losses"
author what do you smoke. is it crack? is that what you smoke? you smoke crack? see rozanov buy tumblr and immediately make it about sh*yden you are deranged the devil is working through you.

lily8124 on "#hollanov"
was good. hollander would be more bratty and desperate though. trust i know these things. other than this very accurate good job )))))))

lily8124 haikubot shily headcannons of dating shane hollander <3 [image description: shane hollander looking vaguely confused] - he cheats on you with rozanov slayyyden wow.. you think shane would cheat? says a lot about how h*llanovs view him... haikubot wow.. you think shane would cheat? says a lot about how h*llanovs view him.. i am the haiku bot collect my haikus. i never mess up. #haikubot 34 notes

lily8124 shily slayyyden headcannons of dating shane hollander <3 [image description: cutesy decorated image of shane hollander] - he cheats on you with hayden pike #shayden#hockeyRPF shily THIS YOU??? [image description: screenshot of post "wow.. you think shane would cheat? says a lot about how h*llanovs view him..] 8 notes

lily8124 shily lily8124 i cannot write hollanov because it would be too accurate and i would have to kill you all for percieving my shane is his entirety like this but!! here is similar ))))))) [[ao3 link]] "Like a Haiku... Bot..." by lily8124 fandoms: hockey rpf, tumblr rpf (uncategorized) no archive warnings apply, shily/slayyyden (tumblr rpf), haikubot (tumblr rpf), enemies to lovers, tumblr, arguing, death threats, sh*yden penance, converting to hollanov, renouncing sh*yden description: they argued about rpf, but little did they know... soon they could be the rps getting f'd,, or; in a heated argument taken to the dms, slayyyden realizes they might be shipping the wrong thing.. #ao3#tumblr rpf#hollanov shily lily i love you please never see a mental health professional 5 notes

lily8124 itssohollanover p!keg!rl vagueing bc i dont want her to show up on this, but jfc who does this girl think she is you cant write porn about TUMBLR MUTUALS. WTF. itssohollanover right yeah writing DOMESTIC FLUFF is totally horrible unlike DRAWING AND DEDICATING SOFTCORE to my close personal friend lily8124 OUT OF SPITE because that was fine with you freaks [image description: screenshot of post "fanart for @lily8124 cope and seethe whore <3"] p!keg!rl writing about real people is NEVER ok i reported and i hope she gets banned for this itssohollanover she says on her hockey rpf tumblr page.. with her hockey rpf ao3 linked in bio.. with mpreg shayden fics dating back to their rookie years.. 13 notes

lily8124 belgiumer lily8124 would you still love me if i was the best hockey player ever belgiumer lily8124 shane hollander confirmed??? lily8124 etsy witch banning you back on belgiumer NONONOWAIT I M SORRY 7 notes

lily8124 shily lily8124 whenever rozanov gets put in the box they should put hollander in there too. he needs enrichment. lily8124 'ohhh lily then how is his team supposed to play thats so unfair-' dont care. hollander chew toy for rozanov send post. itssohollanover rozanov chew toy for hollander send post lily8124 yes this too shily LILY ALLOWING RECIPROCAL HOLLANOV DYNAMICS I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME #dont worry#i still love you 'he would not fucking say that' lily trust#this is my nuance shirt 43 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 i want him. i want that autistic man. #shane hollander#hollanov#autism awareness p!keg!rl its so problematic to be speculating about someones mental state.. h*llan*vs claim to love shane but then diagnose him over the internet because he likes hockey "too much". lily8124 sh*ydens claim to love shane and then ship him with the fifteenth best metros player with twenty million kids 7 notes

lily8124 on “edible arrangements are homophobic now???”
lore accurate hayden pike intellegence. come with me jackie pike i will save you

lily8124 on “boy next door”
you are not even doing idiot sh*yden speculation right. Everyone knows they share room on roadies. this is how shane knows he is messy and stinky and ugly and bad at hockey and would never sleep with him

lily8124 on “tarnished golden boy”
FUCKING DALLAS KENT??? what the fuck is wrong with you. убить себя

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 DINOSAUR DOWN ETSY WITCH WINS AGAIN rozysskates i am once again asking for your etsy witch PLEASE LILY PLEASPELEASEPLEASEPLEPASPLEASPELEPWLAPSLDPELEPA lily8124 [[etsy link]] rozysskates YES THNAK YOU I LOVE YOU LILY IM NEVER FAILING STATS AGAIN rozysskates wait SHE HAS A PICTURE WITH ROZANOV ON HER INSTAGRAM?? WHAT THE FUCK?? #lily where do you find these people??? lily8124 i only work with the best ))) #magician never reveals her tricks 5 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 hollander in glasses drooling emoji belgiumer where has he worn glasses?? #shaking the bars of my enclosure#LEMME SEE LEMME SEE LEMME SEE lily8124 is no pictures i have insider information. very top secret shh 3 notes

lily8124 lily8124 shily [image description: screensot of lily's etsy witch link next to the photo of said witch's photo with rozanov. red circles and arrows are circling and pointing at nothing in particular] im starting a rumor.. lily8124 yes you caught me i am world famous hockey legend ilya rozanov rozysskates lmao imagine?? if i was mutuals with rozanov i think i would explode itssohollanover if rozanov ever sees this blog im killing all my followers and then myself lily8124 i feel so welcome in this community #sigh#i guess you wouldnt still love me if i was the best hockey player ever#sad 21 notes

itssohollanover [image description: screenshot of news article "Rozanov Tumblr deal officially goes through!"] I CANT STOP WINNING #HOLLANOVS NEVER LOSE 77 notes

p2keg2rl I GOT FUCKING BANNED 0 notes

lily8124 sleighden sleighden banned 20 mins after r*zanov bought tumblr what the fuck sleighden WHY ISN'T SHAYDEN A TAG ANYMORE?? p2keg2rl WHY IS THE HOMEPAGE A BADLY PHOTOSHOPPED H*LLAVOV IMAGE?????? slayyyden it is me slayyden ive seen the light and have converted to hollanov i love you ilya rozanov thank you for buying tumblr dot com and enlightening me sleighden WHY IS MY REANIMATED CORPSE SINGING H*LLANOV PRAISES??????!!?? 1 notes

Chapter 2: lily discovers hit horse girl anime and mobile game umamusume pretty derby

Chapter Summary

ough. you asked for more and i asked how do i make this about umamusume. compromise is important in relationships.

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 chat i am being ghosted lily8124 never mind he responded ) lily8124 chat i am being ghosted again lily8124 never mind he responded ) lily8124 chat you'll never guess whats happening rozysskates all posted in the span of two minutes btw lily8124 stop cyber bullying me rozysskates you when the guy you're texting doesn't respond two seconds after you text him: lily8124 shh we are calling now i win you lose goodbye tumblr user rozysskates 6 notes

lily8124 lily8124 shily [image description: screenshot of post "never mind he responded )". the word he is highlighted and circled in red with exclamation points next to it] LILY NO PLEASE DONT TEXT A M*N PLEASE YOURE BETTER THAN THIS #IS THAT GUY BOTHERING YOU QUEEN#lily please you have to stay strong and yuriful lily the world is counting on you lily please lily8124 lalala cannot hear you am having amazing phone sex lalala shily GIRL GET OFF TUNBLR THEN????? lily8124 no ))) 2 notes

lily8124 lily8124 luckbunny [image description: very good drawing of ilya rozanov] #art#ilyarozanov#rozanovart#hockeyfanart lily8124 do you take suggestions luckbunny ..sure? lily8124 [image description: all stars hollanov helmet kiss] lily8124 [image description: shane hollander holding the stanley cup with cat ears edited on him] lily8124 [image description: shane hollander underwear ad] lily8124 [image description: scott hunter photoshopped into a scene with dinosaurs watching the asteroid come] lily8124 [image description: MS paint stick figures labeled hollander and rozanov making out on top of a dead stick figure labeled h*yden p*ke] luckbunny ..i can maybe do the first one? lily8124 is a start )) what is your address i have gift for you tumblr user luckbunny p2keg2rl DONT GIVE HER YOUR ADRESS SHES CRAZY lily8124 p*keg*rl you are so obsessed with me. sad! 13 notes

lily8124 lily8124 itssohollanover if hollanov were umamusume they would be making out already #i cry everytime#this world is so cruel they could have been horse girl yuri#enough omegaverse what abt the umaverse lily8124 oh you are going to regret introducing me to this my close personal friend itssohollanover 4 notes

lily8124 on "man this rivalry is getting pretty heated.."
this is very nice i like the one named vodka is a concept close to my heart everyone say i love you vodka

lily8124 on "umAO3"
author you are wonderful we need to draft you into the hollanov war

lily8124 on "formula 1 if they were horse girls"
do this for hockey next please )))))

lily8124 [image description: gold ship with ilya rozanov's face badly edited on top of hers] i am the correctest most enlightened tumblr user ever #ilyarozanov#golshi 14 notes

lily8124 belgiumer lily8124 mejiro mcqueen more like shanejiro mcquollander #and then she kisses ilyold shozanov#canon#hollanov belgiumer please never change lily 9 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 hollanover umamusume au fic when?? #i have waited very patiently for this tumblr user itssohollanover#pleaspeleasepeleasepleaseplease itssohollanover IM WORKING ON IT GIRL DAMN #smh. rome wasnt built in a day lily8124 WORK FASTER !!! 5 notes

lily8124 bostontwtupdates bostontwtupdates [image description: screenshot of connor connors tweet "what support cards does tm opera o want?"] #boston updates#twitter updates#boston twitter bostontwtupdates [image description: screenshot of cliff marlow tweet "locker room full of anime girls singing. they are also horses? movie night was bad enough someone has to stop this madness"] #boston updates#twitter updates#boston twitter bostontwtupdates [image description: screenshot of firstname sebbin tweet "WHY WONT IT LET ME BUY MORE THAN 5000 CARATS A MONTH???"] #boston updates#twitter updates#boston twitter bostontwtupdates [image description: screenshot of firstname zadonsky reply to previous firstname sebbin tweet "lmao you put your actual age in? idiot."] #boston updates#twitter updates#boston twitter 81 notes

lily8124 [image description: umamusume Story Still - 大乱闘!?夏色☆バカンス (mejiro mcqueen leaning on gold ship's shoulder at the beach)] shes just like me for real for real #allstars2017#hollanov 4 notes

lily8124 rozysskates rozysskates [image description: screenshot of the umamusume bostontwtupdates posts] @LILY8124 AGAIN??? WHAT PULL DO HAVE IN THE RAIDERS LOCKER ROOM HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS??? #girl give your etsy witch a BREAK lily8124 not enough pull to keep zadonsky from going into debt over maruzensky skin ((( lily8124 rookies are idiots this year horrible financial responsibility rozysskates they need to take a page out of rozanov's book and buy a rapidly depreciating social media site 24 notes

lily8124 lily8124 luckbunny [image description: drawing of all stars hollanov helmet kiss] here you go lily!! #hollanov#i messed up the reflections in their helmets sorryyy!! lily8124 thank you tumblr user luckbunny this is peak ))))) you will be drafted onto the ottawa centaurs where ilya rozanov will also move and play for and you will win stanley cup and score many winning goals on first line. lily8124 ..ok! lily8124 can you draw them as horses now 15 notes

lily8124 lily8124 luckbunny [image description: signed rozanov jersey]WHAT THE FUCK???????? lily8124 i told you i had gift ))))) luckbunny I NEVER GAVE YOU MY ADDRESS?? lily8124 i have my ways )))))))))) 6 notes

lily8124 haikubot p2keg2rl CALLOUT POST ON LILY8124 (AGAIN) shes so much worse than before oh my god. she wrote fanfiction about my amazing lovely gorgeous mutual @sleighden getting with a h*llanov which is just so messed up on so many levels im actually shaking writing this. ALSO im so certain she got me and sleighden banned somehow (we both were banned like 20 mins after you know who bought tumblr its so suspicious!! like who tf is this girl??) AND AND AND shes STALKING @luckbunny and sending them threats this is actually so fucked up PLEASE REPORT AND BLOCK #sh*yden#because the ACTUAL TAG IS BROKEN#callout post#hockeyrpf luckbunny lily can send whatever threats she wants if they come with a SIGNED ROZANOV JERSEY. please take the part about me out of this post she is very nice and i dont mind her ‘stalking’ me :) belgiumer BOO HAIKUBOTFIC WAS PEAK let my icon cunt goddess lily be haikubot BOO HAIKUBOTFIC WAS PEAK let my icon cunt goddess lily be i am the haiku bot collect my haikus. i never mess up. #haikubot 28 notes

lily8124 on “in another world”
THANK YOU ITSSOHOLLANOVER I LOVE YOU ITSSOHOLLANOVER TRUST IT HAS ONLY HOLLANOVUST BEGUN

lily8124 on “shumayden”
this is hatecrime you are hatecriming me

lily8124 on “the whole time?”
author please you are better than this you do not have to write about dinosaur and his inappropriate age gap boyfriend please ilya rozanov and shane hollander are right there

lily8124 sleighden luckbunny [image description: shane hollander drawing. it's from his underwear ad but it's cut off at the shoulder] hollander for lily!! #im def more of a rozanov fan ofc but i had to do this for my goat <3#the jersey thing is still crazy btw HOW DID YOU GET THAT sleighden you're such a good artist luckbunny you should draw shayden! theyre rlly realistic and sweet unlike SOME ships i know.. #cough h*llan*v cough lily8124 @shily come get your partner theyre out again sleighden WERE NOT DATING FUCK YOU shily idk lily seems pretttyyyyy certain are you sure we arent? slayyyden i love you shily im so glad were dating and im now a hollanov truther sleighden FUCKING STOP THAT 31 notes

sleighden i am living in my own personal john green cock monologue jesus christ 1 notes

Chapter 3: who tf is jane

Chapter Summary

chat we cooked? french fried? a secret third thing? read now to find out

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

lily8124 i saw tumblr icon on my jane's phone... #is time for jane hunt#come to me jane i will not hurt you #you will love my tumblr account jane trust me 0 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 @sh_24 hello jane... sh_24 stacy actually, im in the pwhl! go sirens xx rozysskates cue rozanov somehow integrating himself into the new york womens hockey team because lily found one of their players on tumblr: sh_24 [image description: picture of pwhl player stacy hlastname with ilya rozanov.] i've seen him at my games a couple times before actually!! but yeah after this post he actually spoke to me we got a photo XD rozysskates I WAS JOKING WHAT THE FUCK lily8124 doubting me on ilya rozanov's tumblr dot com. for shame tumblr user rozysskates #do not underestimate me tumblr user rozysskates i will call my etsy witch on you 12 notes

lily8124 belgiumer lily8124 @belgiumer list of all boring montreal fan accounts right now. sh*ydens EXCLUDED i have my etsy witch on speed dial act accordingly belgiumer why do i feel like you're gonna use this for evil lily... lily8124 [image description: screenshot of etsy cart including one 'ban from tumblr' spell and a LOT of hollanov merch] belgiumer OK OK IM GOING JESUS belgiumer [[4 page google doc link]] 2 notes

lily8124 rozysskates gockey jane hollander drooling emoji lily8124 ....you are jane? gockey no im hornyposting abt transfem shane hollander lily8124 i see... hold on i will try this too lily8124 jane hollander and lily rozanova drooling emoji rozysskates IS THAT WHY YOUR NAME IS LILY???? 18 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 lilys very good smart intellegent ideas to fix sports #sports reform lily8124 if nobody scores in football execute all players #goalies can live#football lily8124 execute all golfers #golf lily8124 if you tackle someone in american football you have to have gay sex on field and whoever comes first gets the penalty #american football lily8124 put more birds in baseball fields so that thing happens again #only evil birds of course go away peta#baseball lily8124 what the fuck is lacrosse #lacrosse is not real rugby is not real pickleball is not real#fake sports lily8124 shane hollander and ilya rozanov kiss whenever they score goals #hockey#hollanov lily8124 basketball you are doing fine i think #basketball hockey_fan_1221410 What did golf do? lily8124 exist 33 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 hockey_fan_1221410 Great assist by Rozanov on that Boston goal. I'm not a fan of the team but you have to admit that was clean as hell. #hockeyrpf itssohollanover ..what do you think hockey rpf is? hockey_fan_1221410 Real Player Facts? hockey_fan_1221410 Hold on, I'll check the tag. Sorry if i'm using it wrong. I'm not big on social media, usually. hockey_fan_1221410 These pictures are edited, right? I don't think Rozanov has ever made out with Marlow. lily8124 they went to paris once but now rozanov is too in love with shane hollander to even look at idiot (said with love) marlow again hockey_fan_1221410 What does France have to do with this? 3 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 lily8124 @hockey_fan_1221410[image description: homopbobic dog meme 'i know what you are'] hockey_fan_1221410 No you don't. lily8124 ok jane ))))) hockey_fan_1221410 DM me. 1 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 i saw tumblr icon on my jane's phone... #is time for jane hunt#come to me jane i will not hurt you #you will love my tumblr account jane trust me lily8124 HUNT OVER JANE FOUND !! 1 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 lily8124 and now i want to sit back relax and enjoy my watching montreal new york game. when all of a sudden i hear this agitating, grating voice [image description: scott hunter] #GO AWAY DINOSAUR SHANE HOLLANDER IS PLAYING#CAMERA STOP FOCUSING ON SC*TT H*NTER CHALLENGE belgiumer shane hollander deciding to instigate his first and last fight with scott hunter after the game was literally already over core lily8124 this day was win for lilies everywhere. i still have video of fight downloaded lily8124 DECRIMINALIZE ELDER ABUSE!! SHANE HOLLANDER DID NOTHING WRONG !! hockey_fan_1221410 Not what happened. 8 notes

lily8124 haikubot p2keg2rl ATTENTION!! @LILY8124 KILLS ELDERLY PEOPLE FOR FUN BLOCK AND REPORT like i said in the title she LITERALLY said she wanted to 'decriminalize elder abuse' like this girl is genuinely DANGEROUS! she's also called for the MASS MURDER of people just for PLAYING A SPORT this is acc so dire... #callout#hockeyrpf p!keg!rl oh im p*keg*rl i love golf and lying about the wonderful amazing gorgeous sexy intellegent lily8124 sleighden damn they got you too. our personal john green cock monologue i guess haikubot damn they got you too. our personal john green cock monologue i guess i am the haiku bot collect my haikus. i never mess up. #haikubot 5 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 ilya rozanopera o lily8124 shagnes digitollander lily8124 sakura bakushane hollander lily8124 matikanefukukitarozanov lily8124 ilyishi amazonov lily8124 haru urarozanov 24 notes

lily8124 itssohollanover urfaveisgolshi ILYA ROZANOV is GOLD SHIP #golshi#gold ship#umamusume#rozanov lily8124 REAL AND TRUE #i am not alone in this world thank you tumblr user urfaveisgolshi itssohollanover youre right i do regret this 7 notes

Chapter End Notes

luca will come back in next chapter trust. i will keep making this until morale improves TRUST. third statement TRUST!

Chapter 4: rozanov spit compilation

Chapter Summary

how many stupid tumblr references can i make before they kill me with hammers challenge level impossible

lily8124 shily hockey_fan_1221410 @lily8124 You didn’t need to go on a whole witch hunt for me, by the way. You could’ve just asked. lily8124 shoelace thing did not work, had to take drastic measures hockey_fan_1221410 What the fuck do you mean by shoelace thing? lily8124 i tell you i like your shoelaces and you say ‘oh they’re just the ones that came with the shoes’ you are so boring jane i had no choice hockey_fan_1221410 I have no idea what you are on about Lily. lily8124 you all see what i have to live with? tragic. #savelily shily lily speaking to non chronically online citizen.. its so hollanover lily8124 yes my jane is chronically offline, very sad. shily ‘my jane’ OH WE ARE SO BACK!!! #YURI IS BACK GUYS LETS GO#no longer hollanover#lily yuri arc CONFIRMED 6 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 hockey_fan_1221410 People should stop being so mean about Hayden Pike. He's a sweet guy and a great player. #hayden pike defense#hayden pike lily8124 jane what are you saying. stop this madness. p2keg2rl You're so right jane! him and shane hollander are so in love with each other too :). you should follow me and @sleighden we're really chill and normal (unlike SOME hockeyrpf!tumblr users i know... coughlilycough...) #sh*yden hockey_fan_1221410 He has a wife? And four kids? 11 notes

lily8124 slayyyden lily8124 @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking it will never work on my jane rozysskates @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking it will never work on lily's jane shily @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking itssohollanover @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking belgiumer @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking p!keg!rl @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking slayyyden @p2keg2rl stop homewrecking 23 notes

lily8124 luckbunny luckbunny [image description: drawing of ilya rozanov in that fuckass patterned buttonup hawaiian shirt monstrosity from all stars 2017 of 'i hired a stylist' scene fame] #art#ilyarozanov#rozanovart#hockeyfanart hockey_fan1221410 He was so hot in that shirt... lily8124 so was hollander that day. very nice outfit i hear he hired a stylist. luckbunny mom come pick me up lily is i think roleplaying hollanov with her girlfriend in my notes.. 7 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 jane out of my three weed smoking girlfriends (yes they smoke weed) you are my favorite #love#romance#girlfriends#weed hockey_fan_1221410 ???? I'm not your girlfriend? I don't smoke weed?? Three??? lily8124 you shane hollander and cliff marlow hockey_fan_1221410 That's not gonna work on me again. I'm not jealous of fucking Marlow. hockey_fan_1221410 And I'm not your girlfriend and I don't smoke weed. lily8124 next you will say you don't stand outside my home at three am holding your weird dripping brown bags... lily8124 jane stop ignoring me ((( 4 notes

lily8124 lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 Looking for a Lily translator. I do not know what she is talking about. lily8124 jane this is quitter talk. if english is my second language tumblr can be your third trust. 2 notes

lily8124 lily8124 shily i may have rpf'ed too close to the sun.. [[ao3 link]] "I'm on Jily Lane" by shily fandoms: hockey rpf, tumblr rpf (uncategorized) no archive warnings apply, lily/jane (tumblr rpf), lily8124/hockey_fan_1221410 (tumblr rpf), yuri, wuluhwuh, girls kissing, tutoring, student AU, college AU, tumblr university AU, student teacher relationship (kinda), student tutor relationship description: jane is tired of failing her tumblr101 classes, so she hires a tutor. lily has some... unorthodox methods lily8124 YIPPEE 6 notes

lily8124 on "i’m on jily lane"
tumblr user shily i would kiss you for this but it would be disrespectful to your relationship with sleighden so i must refrain… jane has freckles by the way please mention in next fic. and her glasses. on my hands and knees begging you tumblr user shily please

lily8124 on “minor hooking penalty”
interesting concept author.. you should write where instead of fucking buffallo he fucks tumblr owner ilya rozanov and they fall in love forever

lily8124 on “major hooking penalty”
DISREGARD PREVIOUS COMMENT I FAILED TO DO MY RESEARCH thank you author this is beautiful this is gorgeous this is breathtaking this is amazing i love you author we are so in tune. mwah mwah mwah that is me kissing you because this is most perfect fic ever

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 rozysskates thinking abt this... [[link to youtube video: Ilya Rozanov fight compilation]] rozysskates on one hand he probably shouldn't be getting in this many fights but in the other hand is my peanits so... hockey_fan_1221410 Most of his fighting is good strategically, actually. He usually isn't the instigator (physically, at least, he's absolutely instigating verbally but that's another conversation), so it gets his team the power play, which Boston has really been able to take advantage of this season. hockey_fan_1221410 Oh and also yes, hot. 21 notes

lily8124 itssohollanover belgiumer can somebody bug shane hollander and ilya rozanov in their next game i NEED to know what they are saying to each other.. itssohollanover flirting lily8124 can confirm they are flirting hockey_fan_1221410 Lily please don't confirm that. lily8124 oh my god you are so boring. hollander explains tax returns all game is that what i should say? he recites moby dick? itssohollanover oh it's something to do with dick, alright. 11 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 remove r*ssia from the equation and you KNOW ilya rozanov would be out there serving CUNT p2keg2rl this is so insensitive to ACTUAL queer russians who have to ACTUALLY deal with that countries policies about them. #checkyourprivilege#staywoke lily8124 this response is so insensitive to actual lilies who have to read your username in notifications p2keg2rl oh my god stop speaking over people who ACTUALLY face the issues you pretend to care about. itssohollanover ur bio says florida born and raised be so for real right now sleighden what, so because of where she lives she can't speak her truth? #discrimination#racism#xenophobia lily8124 only truth that matters here is that REMOVE R*SSIA FROM THE EQUATION AND YOU KNOW ILYA ROZANOV WOULD BE OUT THERE SERVING CUNT!! 17 notes

hockey_fan_1221410 hockey_fan_1221410 hockey_fan_1221410 rozanov spitting compilation hockey_fan_1221410 Thought this was the search bar, my bad. hockey_1221410 Please stop reblogging this. 278 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 bostontwtupdates [image description: screenshot of cliff marlow tweet "roz was spitting so much in tonights game what the fuck. stop that.] #boston updates#twitter updates#boston twitter rozysskates jane incident happened like 2 hrs before the game btw HOW DO YOU WORK THIS FAST LILY lily8124 etsy witch understood it was for my jane. everyone say thank you lily's etsy witch. hockey_fan_1221410 Jesus Christ. 36 notes

Chapter 5: priDE MONth

Chapter Summary

any plot/timeline progression implied by it now being pride month is to be ignored. pride month is a state of mind not a time of year. any month can be pride month if youre gay enough.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

lily8124 p2keg2rl lily8124 happy i hate scott hunter month #to those who celebrate#pride month#dinosaur#scott hunter p2keg2rl during pride month.. the homophobia is so blatant i dont even know why im surprised lily8124 was homophobic of hunter to kiss boyfriend after winning the cup, forever removing possibility for gayer funnier version where the players kiss each other. it should have been hollanov p2keg2rl rpf fans don't even care abt real gay people they only care abt the fake fetishized ones in their fics. lily you are everything wrong with fandom 4 notes

sleighden all the pride tags redirect to h*llan*v what the fuck 1 notes

lily8124 lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 Happy pride month to Scott Hunter and his boyfriend! lily8124 yes yes thank you to dinosaur for paving way for younger hotter better hockey players to be gayer in the future whatever art-kipstory the doors i've opened... lily8124 LEAVE HIM LEAVE THE DINOSAUR YOU CWN DO BETTER PLEASEE hockey_fan_1221410 Lily won't admit to it, but what Hunter did really inspired her and she appreciated it! It actually led to us getting together. lily8124 STOP SLANDERING ME 15 notes

lily8124 starting my campaign for ilya rozanov tumblr sexyman of the year.. prepare yourself tumblr users.. 5 notes

lily8124 superunnatural lily8124 MAKE HOCKEY CUNT AGAIN !!! [image description: neverbeforeseen selfie of ilya rozanov looking like an idiot cunty stock photo] #tumblrsexyman#sexyman#ilyarozanov#ilyarozanovtumblrsexyman superunnatural who the fuck is this and why is he an ad superunnatural FYM HE OWNS THE WEBSITE??? 26 notes

lily8124 shily shily reverse image searched lily's ad.,.. no results..,,,,.. this is wonderful for my rumor #myrumor #myrumor lily8124 is not a rumor i admitted it. keep up tumblr user shily hockey_fan_1221410 Admitted what? lily8124 that i am world famous hockey legend ilya rozanov of boston captain and tumblr owner fame hockey_fan_1221410 Please Do Not Admit That Lily! lily8124 fine disclaimer i am not ilya rozanov, is lie liar told you that shily ...my rumor.. #myrumor #myrumor 13 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 TumblrSexypollsOFFICIAL FINAL SEXYRESULTS Ilya Rozanov, third place (23.1% of votes) Trainer Umamusume, second place (37.4% of votes) Grillby Undertale, first place (39.5% of votes) #sexypolls#sexyman#sexyresults rozysskates listen i love you ilya rozanov but he is not a tumblr sexyman he is a Normal Guy lily8124 betrayal mutiny treachery treason backstabbing belgiumer girl put down the thesaurus lily8124 only thesaurus i know is scott hunter #elderly#elder abuse#dinosaur hockey_fan_1221410 She says that because she thinks a thesaurus is a dinosaur. In case you were confused. 102 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 you all have failed me im having my p*keg*rl moment ur all getting called out ((((( lily8124 @belgiumer @rozysskates @itssohollanover @shily EXPLAIN YOURSELVES belgiumer look grillby is hot ok.. one could even say he's fire.. rozxyskates IM SORRY GIRL BUT HES NOT A SEXYMAN MY MOM WANTS HIM MY BROTHER WANTS HIM NORMAL PEOPLE WANT HIM HE IS A NORMALPERSONSEXYMAN itssohollanover ore no aiba ga.. shily HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW WE VOTED????? luckbunny I voted for rozanov! lily8124 thank you tumblr user luckbunny you get another jersey )))) 7 notes

lily8124 lily8124 luckbunny HOW DID YOU GET THIS??? IM LIKE 80% SURE THIS IS THE ACTUAL GAME JERSEY??? [image description: image of rozanov jersey from (whatever year this is) pride game] lily8124 dont worry about it tumblr user luckbunny )))) soon you will have your own actual pride game jersey when you are drafted onto ottawa centaurs where ilya rozanov will also move to and play for and you will win stanley cup and score many winning goals on first line )))) lily8124 now can you draw them as horses? 8 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 sleighden shane not using the pride tape bc he's trying so hard to hide his relationship w/ hayden.. this is so sad my poor baby... #sh*yden#hockeyrpf#homophobia#closeted hockey_fan_1221410 The tape is bad quality. Hollander doesn't use pride tape because the brand of tape he uses doesn't make pride tape and he plays best with that brand. He is not avoiding it because he is homophobic and he is also not trying to hide a nonexistent relationship between himself and his friend who is married with kids. Hope this helps! 19 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 jaaane lily8124 jaaaanneeeeeeee lily8124 jjjaaaaaaaaaannneeeeeeeeee hockey_fan_1221410 What? lily8124 nothing )))))) hockey_fan_1221410 I'm blocking you. lily8124 nuh uh )))))))))))))) 7 notes

lily8124 p2keg2rl p2keg2rl YET ANOTHER CALLOUT OF @LILY8124 she's been highkey HARRASSING and SPAMMING this random girl (@hockey_fan_1221410) which is just. so not cool. she ALSO somehow hacked?? into the tumblr sexyman poll??? and is cyber bullying her mutuals about who they voted for???? LAST BUT NOT LEAST she is EXTREMELY homophobic, she's been specifically railing scott hunter this pride month which is obviously targeted, AND she's been super insensitive to the homopbobic policies russians face. i dont want to be the 'updates on problematic user' girl but this is actually really important to bring attention to so i guess i'll be that girl!! pls block and report her xxx #callout#hockeyRPF#sh*yden shily calling jane a 'random girl' dont pmo FAKE JILY FAN FAKE LANE FAN #BOO BOO TOMATOES TOMATOES p2keg2rl where did i claim to be a fan of anything related to lily? lily8124 is implied based on the twenty million posts you have about me p!keg!rl i love you lily you're so awesome and cool i'm a huge fan of you and your amazing girlfriend jane lily8124 see? p2keg2rl GO AWAY. 24 notes

lily8124 hockey_fan_1221410 hockey_fan_1221410 Please stop sending me videos of Rozanov spitting. I appreciate the thought but I really don't need them. lily8124 what she means is she already saw (and jerked off to) all the ones you sent her pls find new and unique rozanov fetish content for my jane )) hockey_fan_1221410 It's not fetish content. 163 notes

lily8124 lily8124 lily8124 LILY RATES HOCKEY RPF SHIPS REAL NOT CLICKBAIT #hockeyrpf#hockeyrpf reform lily8124 hollanov- twenty million gazillion out of ten self explanatory lily8124 rozlow- seven out of ten only works in rozanov earlier years lily8124 sh*yden- negative four thousand out of ten (minus one for each of h*yden p*kes children) lily8124 anything involving d*llas k*nt- kill yourself lily8124 pikelow- eight out of ten funny to me personally lily8124 anything involving scott hunter- gay lily8124 zadonsebbin- four out of ten they're fucking but is making them play worse. they could never be hollanov lily8124 connor connors selfcest six out of ten i tell him to go fuck himself he makes a clone and takes it literally lily8124 stop telling me to rank ships from buffalo is not happening zeros across the board lily8124 boston x san fransisco- eleven out of ten flashback to time boston fucking fucked san fransisco lily8124 no i will not smash or pass the logos lily8124 ok maybe i will smash or pass the logos. stay tuned )))) 81 notes

Chapter End Notes

thank you ao3 user sayanel for the pride month idea. abhsbhdhdfbdb in other news this got so much attention im sorry i haven't been responding to comments or anything heartbreak emoji. i promise i am reading them all i just dont know what to say unless i am given a direct question

Afterword

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