Rating:

Not Rated

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Patrice Drapeau, Gilbert Comeau, Hayden Pike, J. J. Boiziau, Luca Haas, Troy Barrett, Scott Hunter (Game Changers), Zane Boodram, Cassie Boodram, Evan Dykstra, Harris Drover, Kyle Swift, Kip Grady, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Ryan Price (Game Changers), Montreal Voyageurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Social Media, Texting, Texting Fic, Humor, Light Angst, Fluff and Humor, Homophobia, Epistolary, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Shane Hollander Needs a Hug, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Relationship Timeline Reveal, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Being Assholes (Game Changers), Crack Treated Seriously

Language:

English

Series:

Part 4 of the secret society of stick handlers

Stats:

Published: 2026-01-14 Words: 12,151 Chapters: 1/1

wishing you the best (in the worst way)

Summary

Shane: I’ve never wanted to share it since our timeline is so…complicated
Hayden: Is it? You were fucking, then you dated, then you got married. Normal progression!
Shane: I don’t think the “fucking” part of that equation is usually 7 years

In which the Voyageurs’ secret homophobic group chat leaks, Shane decides it might be time to tell the world how long he’s been seeing Ilya, and said world loses their shit.

Notes

Aaand we’re back at twice the usual length because this one's two scandals for the price of one! Seriously, thank you all SO MUCH for the love for this series. It’s very encouraging while I slog through formatting these lol

Shoutout to stabthroughme whose own amazing NHL gays all texting fic made me realize that I've been spelling Lundin's name horrendously wrong. Being an audiobook reader is a curse when it comes to spelling lmao. I've gone back and edited it and the correct spelling will be reflected moving forward!

Title courtesy of My Kink is Karma by Chappell Roan!

r/hockey

u/thr0waway297 • 1h

"True Voyageurs" Group Chat (with screenshots)

Can’t disclose my sources, but I can vouch for them.

https://dropbox.com/mrl/fi/usdiffmw9e=

All 200 of these screenshots come from the “True Voyageurs” group chat, which seems to include everyone on the team besides Hayden Pike and J.J. Boiziau. There’s some shit talking of the two, plenty of objectifying women, and a LOT of mocking Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. Like…a lot a lot. Reader discretion is advised.

Transcribing some notable convos below for those who don’t want to parse through all the screenshots (a lot are just lunch orders, but I’m keeping it all in case you care about how fucked Patrice Drapeau’s taste buds are)

***

PD: Does anyone else fucking dread playing Ottawa now because you know your wife won’t put out for at least 2 weeks?

GC: yup

AR: 2 weeks? Try a month. She’s always throwing a bitch fit over what we “did” to Shane

PD: Ah yes, what we did. Calling him out on fucking throwing a PLAYOFF SERIES for his boy toy

GC: His boy toy ILYA ROZANOV. Sometimes I feel like we entered a parallel universe in 2021

AR: we must have

PD: I blame Pike’s wife. Idk how the hell she does it but that bitch has them all under mind control

SP: I’ll never get why she’s still queen of the WAGs anyways. Back in SF, the captain’s wife ran that shit. Shouldn’t Gil’s girl be in charge by now?

GC: She’s happy to sit back and let Jackie do all the work unfortunately 

AR: It really is insane that a player as annoying as Pike gets to run the whole fucking social calendar

PD: Seriously. Even in fucking lawless Ottawa, they have enough sense to let Boodram’s wife run that shit (or so my wife says)

GC: Of course she does. What else would they do? Have Shane run it?

SP: Shit can you imagine? Every weekend, mandatory 8 PM bedtimes

AR: No wine nights for the wives, just sitting around quietly nursing ginger ales

IW: No parties, just analyzing plays over and over again

PD: lmfao

TR: I can’t relate to any of this, my girl hates Hollander and Rozanov more than I do

TR: look what she did to our dart board

PD: Wait is that Rozanov’s face?

TR: yeah lol it’s hard to see because she has pretty damn good accuracy 

GC: She actually sees sense and her tits havent sagged yet? Lucky bastard

(from there they talk about boobs for awhile)

***

TR: Pike’s throwing a bitch fit because I called Williamson a cocksucker last night right after he fucking high sticked me

AR: seriously?

PD: Pike is literally always throwing a bitch fit these days

GC: I’ll talk to him

TR: Thx

(from there it’s another lunch order. These dudes love subway)

***

SP: have you guys seen those pap shots of Rozanov going around? Literally 0 fucking shame

GC: Oh, you mean the one where he has 1000 hickies? Yep

PD: If we didn’t already know he was cheating on Hollzy, there’s your proof. No fucking way those came from Shane

LE: Oh yeah, Shane is a “30 seconds of missionary before bed” kinda dude through and through

SP: Can gay dudes do missionary?

LE: Fuck if I know. If not, Hollzy would find a way

PD: Lol

GC: I feel like he MUST know Rozanov is cheating, but he can’t divorce the guy after he threw away his whole fucking image and legacy for him

RL: I almost feel bad for him

GC: I don’t

PD: No fucking way

AR: The cheater getting cheated on. Smells like karma

***

PD: Do you think Pike knows that Shane is married?

LE: Wait what?

PD: I’m just saying, he seems REALLY desperate to suck his dick

SP: I shit you not, when I found out Shane was gay but before the whole Rozanov thing came out, I thought he was fucking Pike

GC: Fuck off

SP: I did! They’re obsessed with each other

PD: Yeah, I’m just saying, Pike must be in love with him to still believe that was a “trip”

LE: Does that mean they’re having threesomes with J.J.?

SP: Probably

TR: Ya know, just the fact that he had a mirror recording of them going at it is kinda…

LE: Wait what are the odds that all those kids are even his?

PD: Low. So fucking low

Locked post. New comments cannot be posted.

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

I’m like actually nauseous reading this MTL leak wtf. These men are fucking disgusting. We all thought Toronto and Vegas were the most evil teams in the league and Montreal said “hold my beer”

Jill @gingeralencoke

You know what, I've grown quite unfond of you Montreal Voyageurs

charlie @shaneholeander

“I hate Shane Hollander. I hate him so much. Anyways what kind of sex do you think he likes? Does he like missionary? Does he think about me when he comes? Does he miss us, I think he misses us”

hollanov's secret love child @holand3rrozanvv

No seriously, I’ve run a Hollanov stan account for YEARS and these guys think about Shane and Ilya more than I do, which is saying A LOT

bebe @moony4hollanov

Wow. I knew the Voyageurs were bad but I didn’t know they were Hans levels of evil

Therese @therese_creates2

Wait who’s Hans? Sorry, I’m new to hockey and still learning!

bebe @moony4hollanov

You’re fine, welcome! :) I meant Hans from the movie Frozen 

Dawn @breakofdawn24

…THAT’S your framework for evil?

soph @freckleshanes

Perhaps I am a wee bit parasocial but I shed a little tear when they were joking about Shane’s bedtime and ginger ale :( LET MY UNDIAGNOSED AUTISTIC MAN LIVEEE

Barry W. @barrywilliams1234

The Voyageurs shouldn't be punished for saying what we're all thinking. Hollander can screw who he wants but he needs to leave it off the fucking ice

Jake @croissantsncups

I just know Jackie Pike’s an icon if these gross men despise her THAT much

greyson ₊˚｡ ❆ @m0therpuck3r17

No the way my biggest takeaway from this (after “ew”) was “I wanna drink wine with Jackie Pike and Ilya Rozanov so fucking badly”

dove ‹𝟹 @rozsbeartattoo

These men are capital s straight, not because of their boob obsession but because they think Shane mfing Hollander isn’t freaky as hell in bed. Baby you just know that bottom likes being tied up 6 ways to sunday

for the gays @rozanovslapdog

No literally. “Shane wouldn’t leave marks like that!” Sorry you think after years of being closeted, he wouldn’t JUMP at the chance to mark his territory on the hottest guy in the NHL? come the fuck on

shayden's third @shaydeneternally

Even the voyageurs shipping Shayden…exactly, exactly

kj ²⁴ @kyliebluejeans

Now is NOT the time to feed your delusions u freak

shayden's third @shaydeneternally

Okay, fair enough, but I’m circling back in a week because 👀

Matt @mattknowshockey

Look, I'm not homophobic. My sister's gay and I support her. But I don't understand how anyone can look back at Hollander's "trip" and believe he fell by accident. He already has 3 cups and wanted to give his boy a chance at his second. Of course the Voyageurs are frustrated

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

I would actually bet money on the fact that your family has a group chat without you

hattie 💕 @voyageurne

Those screenshots aren’t real guys! Please stop sharing them, they’re obviously photoshopped by a clout chaser. The boys don’t talk like that at ALL in interviews

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

Omg random but were you in Egypt last week? I was there with my family and I saw someone who looked just like your pfp 

hattie 💕 @voyageurne

No I wasn’t! How weird 

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

Are you sure? Because I swear I saw you chugging from the river of denial!!

mel @melissaplays34

I get that the homophobia/sexism is the priority here, but at some point we do need to talk about these men’s lunch orders. These are the driest sandwiches in human history.

Hayden: Shane, call me back when you have the chance

Hayden: I had NO idea any of this was happening. Neither did J.J.

Hayden: Fuck

Hayden: Is Shane okay?

Hayden: Can he call me?

Hayden: I had no idea about any of this, I swear

Ilya: Pike, slow down

Ilya: What’s wrong? Did you release our sex tape this time?

Hayden: ew no. So you haven’t been online this morning?

Ilya: This is terrible deja vu

Ilya: Hold on

Ilya: Fuck

Ilya: I hate these evil little men

Hayden: I know!! I had no clue, I promise

Ilya: Pike. Half of these texts are making fun of you and your wife. Of course you had no clue.

Hayden: Oh. Right.

Ilya: Shane is on a run. He is not picking up my calls

Hayden: Fuck. He’s gonna freak

Ilya: I know. I’m here

Hayden: Good. I’d drive there but Ruby has lice and Arthur has some sort of stomach bug and it’s basically a nightmare over here

Ilya: Could be worse. At least you are not in evil homophobic group chat

Hayden: That’s true I guess

Ilya: Is Jackie okay?

Hayden: Have you met Jackie? She’s already assembled the WAGs and possibly committed three murders. Thank god for spousal privilege

Ilya: Good. I need to find Shane. Goodbye

Hayden: Oh, bye

Ilya: Sweetheart

Ilya: Please pick up

Ilya: I need to know you are safe

Shane: I’m fine

Ilya: No. You are freaking out

Shane: I’m not

Shane: I’m just really pissed

Ilya: Good. You should be. They are fucking assholes

Shane: They were my friends for a decade, Ilya. My family

Shane: I can take this shit from any other team but like…I was a groomsman in Comeau’s wedding. I was one of the first people to meet Al’s daughter

Shane: Why do they act like they don’t know me anymore? Like I’m some random, faceless evil?

Ilya: Makes it easier to hate you for leaving them to be a shitty team again

Shane: Not sure they see it that way

Ilya: Deep down, they do

Ilya: Where are you my love?

Shane: I’m at the lake 2 kilometers from the house. The one where Anya likes to chase geese

Ilya: Give me a second and I will come pick you up

Shane: I think I need to run back. Please. I’m okay, I swear.

Ilya: Okay

Ilya: I’m going to reach out to Farah, Harris, and your parents. Don’t worry about anything, okay? I know you need to process

Shane: Okay. Thank you.

Ilya: Of course. And when you get home I will make you breakfast and fuck you in ways their sad little brains could never imagine

Ilya: I think we need to pay a visit to our trophy room, yes?

Shane: God, if they knew what we actually do in bed they would become catatonic

Ilya: Maybe we do a leak of our own and you finally let me record a sex tape

Shane: Absolutely not

Shane: No one gets to see you like that but me

Shane: and the 300 women who came before me

Ilya: None of them saw me how you do. Only you get all of me

Shane: I’m heading back now. I love you

Ilya: I love you so much

Yuna: Another thing I thought about after we hung up, it might be a good idea to talk to Montreal directly

Ilya: I am not sure Shane wants to do this

Yuna: I don’t mean Shane. I still have Val Comeau’s number

Ilya: What would you say to her?

Yuna: That she should divorce her husband

Ilya: haha

Ilya: Maybe. Let’s talk about it when you come over this afternoon? Shane is still processing

Yuna: Of course

Yuna: Ilya I meant to say this, but got caught up figuring out a game plan…I’m sorry you had to read all these terrible lies about yourself

Ilya: Is okay. Nothing new 

Yuna: Everything they said was just so absurd 

Yuna: Between you and me, I used to worry a lot about Shane. That he’d never find someone because he’s so focused on hockey

Ilya: Was probably not surprising he fell for a hockey player

Yuna: No, not really

Yuna: I’m just so glad it’s you. I can’t picture him with anyone else. I think you were meant to go through life together

Ilya: Yes. I think so too. Thank you

Yuna: Of course

Yuna: I got a good laugh out of the parts where they called you a cheater. I can’t even imagine it

Ilya: No, I am too obsessed with Shane

Yuna: Oh I know. He’s pretty great huh?

Ilya: He is the best. And he will get through this

Yuna: I know he will. You will too

Ilya: Thank you Yuna. See you this afternoon. Now would be a good time to play Monopoly. I’ve heard Shane throws all games

Yuna: Yeah right. Today’s been dramatic enough, we don’t need any tables flipped 

Harris Fan Club

Dykstra: well FUCK

Bood: Yeah

Troy: Ilya, Shane, are you okay? Harris is in an emergency meeting with management already

Wyatt: This is so beyond fucked

Luca: What happened?

Luca: Never mind, Archie just texted me. Wow

Luca: They are very mean

Dykstra: Understatement of the year, kid

LaPointe: yeah I think evil is more accurate 

Ilya: Hello everyone. I am sure you have a lot of questions. There is a lot Shane and I need to figure out right now, but I want to be clear about something

Ilya: If I ever find out that there is a chat like this on this team, you will be dealt with immediately and painfully

Bood: ^^seconding this. Ilya will kill you and I’ll feast on your remains

Ilya: No need for secret bully chats. We are not Montreal. We are better, yes?

Troy: Totally. Toronto had a chat like this too and I feel really gross about it in hindsight.

Wyatt: Wait what? It did?

Troy: …yeah

Wyatt: Oh my God. I’m the Shane Hollander of Toronto

Troy: No, it wasn’t the same. It was a chat for people to talk freely about their mistresses mostly 

Dykstra: ???

Troy: So like it was dudes cheating and guys who would be “cool” with cheating. And they didn’t think you would be cool because you love your wife “too much”

Wyatt: Okay, I can take being bullied for that lol

Holmberg: jesus. I’m so glad I’ve only ever played for Ottawa

Luca: Seriously. If I ever get traded I will cry

Bood: Awww kiddos :(( 

Dykstra: It’s not every team. NY is chill too and so is San Jose

Holmberg: wow what a long list. How heartening

Ilya: We are the best though, yes?

Bood: fuck yeah

Troy: Definitely

Wyatt: Yeah and we know the TRUTH! Shane would never throw a game. Ever.

Bood changed the group chat name to Shane Hollander Fan Club

LaPointe: seriously. dude’s ruthless 

Dykstra: Yes that and we know that Shane is freaky as FUCK

Wyatt: Omg I know. “30 seconds of missionary”? I would sleep so much better on road trips if that was actually true

Holmberg: no seriously I read that like ok clearly u have never heard Roz shouting “are you my good little slut?” through a thin hotel room wall before!!

Troy: I haven’t. So glad to live with this information now

Ilya: Okay guys, today is hard on Shane. Let’s not make it harder

Holmberg: oops sorry! I’ll unsend that

Dykstra: Sorry Shane. This sucks. Rail him for all of us, will ya Roz?

Bood: …I think there’s a real possibility that this team is too supportive

WAGs and Proud 🏳️‍🌈

Archie: Shane, Ilya, are you guys okay? this shit is fucked

Kip: SO fucked omg I’m still reading through all of it

Kip: in the admirals chat all they talk about is fantasy football. This is deranged

Kyle: Eric is pacing right now just quietly whispering “what the fuck” over and over again

Archie: Harris are you okay too? I know you’re probably in damage control mode

Harris: HAHAHAH

Harris: sorry. I have a liter of caffeine in me right now

Harris: this is just a shitshow from a legality standpoint. and I’m pretty certain we have about one hour til Montreal denies everything

Kip: You think so?

Harris: oh yeah, I’d bet my stupidly expensive engagement ring on it. and the stupidly expensive gold collar Ilya got Chiron so we’d “match”

Archie: aww that’s so cute

Harris: Right? I keep meaning to send pictures but I’m not sure now is the time lol

Ilya: I can call again soon

Harris: No rush. Well, small rush. We should really say something today if you guys decide you want to put a statement out but I don’t think we need to beat them to it. Denying is just gonna dig their own grave. Let them

Kip: I feel like I’m watching Dark Harris take over and I love it

Harris: 😏

Harris: Not to prove your point but I will say, there’s a million ways we can handle this, and I promise no matter which you choose, we’re gonna fucking fry them

Kip: HELL YEAH!!

Kyle: Let’s goooo

Archie: !!! 

Ilya: Good.

The Secret Society of Stick Handlers

Baldwin: kinda thought our defacto leader would break the ice (pun unintended) but since he hasn’t, I’ll say it

Baldwin: what the actual FUCK

Troy: Yep. Yeah

Luca: I am still reading through the folder. They are so mean and they eat such awful sandwiches 

Luca: I don’t mean to sound naive, but I didn’t realize straight men actually talked about women like this. Did you know this?

Baldwin: oh KIDDO

Luca: I mean I’ve heard comments here and there of course but this is so detailed. It seems odd to talk about breasts with your friends this much

Eric: It’s more normal than you think. But this is like FUCKED

Eric: I mean I’m not shocked they’re running their mouths based on how they play against you guys, but the dart board is insane

Luca: So many darts…his face was barely recognizable

Lundin: Poor kid’s gonna have nightmares

Eric: Does anyone know how Shane’s doing?

Troy: Roz messaged the team chat to let us know they’re still figuring things out. We haven’t heard from Shane personally but that’s understandable

Ryan: This is all reminding me why I quit playing

Baldwin: Same

Lundin: Same

Luca: :(

Luca: I hope Shane doesn’t quit too

Lundin: Nah, he’s got a good team behind him. He’ll be okay

Ryan: Yeah. The team makes a big difference.

Troy: I’m sorry again Ryan. I can’t believe I ever contributed to that culture. It was cowardly of me.

Ryan: I’m glad you stopped

Baldwin: Man sometimes I forget the Troy in here is the same Troy who once called me a little gay bitch baby on the ice

Troy: I’m so sorry

Baldwin: I just wish you had gone for “bisexual bitch baby”. It’s more accurate and more alliterative

Troy: Noted I guess

Scott: Hi guys, sorry I haven’t messaged. I’ve been making calls all morning to try to make sure my team doesn’t have a similar chat

Baldwin: fuck I didn’t even consider that

Troy: Ask your rookies/younger players. They’ll be most likely to break

Luca: Yes Bood messaged me to ask before Roz threatened us in the group chat. I am not sure I would be invited to a “be mean to women and Shane Hollander” group though

Lundin: Considering you just discovered today that men like tits, probably not, no

Scott: Apparently I need to scroll up

Scott: Okay, I see you’re still figuring things out, but whatever you need Shane, we’re here

Scott: Hashtags, posts, anything. We’ll hang tight til we get your word though, right guys?

Eric: Yup

Troy: Totally

Lundin: 👍

Luca: Yes of course

Luca: Sorry, I am not sure where else to ask this

Luca: Are straight Canadian men allergic to mayonnaise?

The Unholy Trinity

Shane: Hi guys. Sorry, I’ve been off my phone, but I wanted to check in since I know this impacts you too

Shane: Are you okay to text instead of a phone call? Everything’s…a lot right now

Hayden: Totally

J.J.: Of course

Shane: So how are you guys doing?

J.J.: omfg Shane

Hayden: You’re not our captain right now. You’re our friend. How are YOU?

Shane: Bad. 

Hayden: Gonna need a little more than that buddy

Shane: I was really angry at first and now I’m just tired? I don’t know

Shane: I guess I thought it would die down at a certain point. That everyone would move on or forgive me or apologize or whatever they needed to do

Shane: But instead they hate me. I gave them everything for years and they hate me so much. All because I fell in love.

Shane: It sucks. It just sucks. And sometimes I don’t care because it’s worth it to be with him but other times I feel like it’s crushing me

Shane: Okay. That’s it.

Hayden: Fuck. Yeah.

J.J.: I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way, man. I was being a selfish prick

Shane: You’ve already apologized, J.J.

J.J.: This warrants another one

Hayden: Fuck, man. I hate that they’re like this. So much.

Shane: Yeah. Same

J.J.: Same

J.J.: So, speaking of…

J.J.: I wanted to tell you guys in person but now seems as good a time as any. I’ve put in a trade request

Shane: Oh my God

Shane: You don’t have to do that 

Shane: I just mean, don’t do it on my behalf or anything

J.J.: It’s not for you. Montreal is a fucking nightmare now

Hayden: God I’m so JEALOUS

Hayden: I want to but Jackie won’t let me

Shane: I’ve heard she’s good at mind control

Hayden: Ha!

Hayden: I’ve got 2 years til I’m a free agent and she wants me to wait it out. She’s worried I’ll get traded somewhere that would be bad for the kids, like Florida, which is fair

Hayden: Or Buffalo. Eesh.

Hayden: Obviously they could just trade me anyways. And odds are after this week they’ll send us both packing to Texas or some shit. Like, look what happened to Barrett

J.J.: At least we’d look good in cowboy hats

Hayden: Oh I rock a cowboy hat

Shane: Where are you hoping to sign with next Hayden? I mean, if you had the choice to go anywhere

Hayden: Shane what? Obviously Ottawa

Hayden: I’d have put in a trade request for Ottawa already but I’m sure Crowell will squash it if I don’t sign outright 

Shane: Oh wow. That would be amazing

Shane: For me. Not for Ilya

Hayden: You know it would make him happy because it would make you happy

Hayden: Also he’s obsessed with my kids

Shane: We both are

Hayden: Now you know my secret, I only want to sign with Ottawa for the built in babysitters

Shane: Haha

Shane: Seriously though, I’m so sorry guys. I knew there would be consequences for choosing Ilya but I never thought it would affect you too

Hayden: Man, I say this with love

Hayden: Shut the fuck up

J.J.: ^^

J.J.: It’s not your fault that Montreal is full of homophobic dicks 

Hayden: Yeah and like you kept this secret for a decade. That’s so painful. Whatever we’re going through is probably 2% of that

Shane: Thank you.

Shane: I’ve been talking to Ilya today about sharing that

Shane: How long we’ve been together I mean. Since we’ve never said

Hayden: Oh shit. I think you should

J.J.: Yeah, the world deserves to know you won 3 Stanley cups while fucking Ilya Rozanov

J.J.: or being fucked by him, whatever

Hayden: For thirty seconds in missionary

J.J.: Literally what was that?

Hayden: Lies and slander! My boy has stamina!

Shane: Oh my God stop

Shane: I still can’t believe my mom saw that

Hayden: She reviews the contracts of all your underwear campaigns. She’ll live

Hayden: Anyways, do it, what’s the downside?

Shane: I don’t know. I’ve never wanted to share it since our timeline is so…complicated

Hayden: Is it? You were fucking, then you dated, then you got married. Normal progression!

Shane: I don’t think the “fucking” part of that equation is usually 7 years

J.J.: Hmmm

J.J.: Well idk you were kinda in a unique situation. And it’s not like you have to explicitly say “we were hitting it raw for 7 years”

Shane: Ew we were not “hitting it raw” while sleeping with other people

J.J.: Alright well you don’t have to say “we were hitting it wrapped up for 7 years”

Hayden: I say just go for it. I know you don’t like it, but people know you fuck. You’re a grown man. And you’re married to someone who used to unironically refer to himself as a sex god 

J.J.: And you give him hickeys like a teenager

Hayden: No, those came from his mistress, remember? Shane Hollander would NEVER

J.J.: Never. I definitely didn’t stumble on him sucking his husband’s dick in a bush on their wedding day

Shane: Oh God

J.J.: What? I said I didn’t

Hayden: Okay embarrassing Shane aside, can we just talk about how fucking weird this whole thing is? Like why do they care so much about Shane’s admittedly interesting sex life?

Hayden: and my apparently gay sex life

J.J.: oh yeah congrats on being gay dude

Hayden: Thanks. And thanks for coming to our monthly threesome meetup

J.J.: wouldn’t miss it

Hayden: It’s too bad for Jackie but I guess she’ll be happy with the mysterious father of our children

Shane: I feel like they think Ilya’s the father

Hayden: Fuck you’re right. Anything to make him the villain

J.J.: They clearly have lots of time to speculate on our sex lives since they’re getting none

Hayden: Oh my god that part was hilarious. You know whose wife is ready to go to town all the time? THIS GUY’S

J.J.: Yes, Hayden, we’re aware. You have enough children to start the next Von Trapp family

Shane: Guys, don’t generalize. Trey is getting laid beneath the shrine he and his girlfriend have to my husband

Shane: They probably have threesomes with a voodoo doll of Ilya

Hayden: HA

Hayden: Wait if they’re having threesomes with the voodoo doll, wouldn’t he be horned up all the time?

Shane: That would explain a lot actually 

Hayden: Nah, you’re just super fucking hot

J.J.: No wonder everyone thinks you guys are fucking

Voyageurs Official ✔️ @VoyageursMTL

As an organization, the Montreal Voyageurs take all allegations of sexism, homophobia, and bullying seriously. However, the source of these recent claims is anonymous and their credibility has not been validated. While we conduct our own investigation, we hope fans will think critically about what they read online.

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

Oh you’re scrambling more than my eggs this morning, got it, got it

Chiron's Third Dad @centaurtrashh

“Bigotry is serious! However, none of this actually happened. The Voyageurs are famously super nice to Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov and don’t pummel them on the ice even when they’re nowhere near the puck!”

greyson ₊˚｡ ❆ @m0therpuck3r17

Well I’m certainly thinking critically about this post 

hattie 💕 @voyageurne

Thank you!! I’m glad to hear you’re questioning this and getting the story straight

kai @hausofhaas

“Getting the story straight”...oh the irony lmao

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

@voyageurne, gullible is written on the ceiling too btw

Chiron's Third Dad @centaurtrashh

Anyone who has seen even one game between Ottawa and Montreal in the past 2 years KNOWS these screenshots are real. Come the fuck on.

Willow @boodsdudesbbq

Yup. As a former Voyageurs fan, it makes me sick to see people defending this. You can literally SEE the physical manifestation of these texts on the ice. Every game, they’re out for blood

Claire @clairebear81

Real fans saw the game last season where Luca “Babygirl” Haas of all people dropped gloves and knew some shit was fucking going down

syd @sydneeysmith

Guyssss help how do I get my dad to stop being a fan of the voyageurs? How do I convert him into a Centaurs lover???

dove ‹𝟹 @rozsbeartattoo

Put on an Ilya Rozanov goal compilation right now immediately

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/qc/montreal

syd @sydneeysmith

That’s just a link to therapists??

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

Yes

madi (she/they) @dallaskenthateclub

Oh an NHL team denied that their players were homophobic and sexist? In other breaking news, I saw a bird fly by my window today!

WAGs and Proud 🏳️‍🌈

Archie: wow Harris, you’re like a social media psychic

Kip: I was just about to text the same thing lol

Harris: Don’t give me too much credit. The Voyageurs are just predictable on and off the ice

Kyle: lmaooo

Shane: Hi guys, thanks for checking in earlier

Kip: Shane!! How are you?

Kyle: omg are you okay? I’m so sorry you’re now a member of the “internet dredging up your trauma” club. We should get matching buttons or something

Harris: I’ll make one for Troy too

Shane: I’m managing

Shane: I wanted to run something by you guys before I bring it up in the meeting we’re having with Harris and management soon. Ilya suggested I ask here because I’m going back and forth on it

Ilya: Yes and you are the smartest group chat we are in. Your husbands are very dumb

Kip: Wow this is a great way to get our help

Ilya: Our team chat is dumb too

Kyle: Is that supposed to make it better?

Shane: Ignore him please

Shane: I’m considering sharing when Ilya and I first got together.

Shane: Publicly, I mean

Harris: Which is 2015 right?

Kip: I thought they said 2014

Kyle: Did they say at all? Aren’t we just speculating wildly?

Ilya: Yes. You are

Shane: 2010

Harris: …is that a typo?

Shane: No.

Harris: That was your rookie season. Isn’t it? Or are my wires crossed?

Shane: Yes

Shane: I mean, no, your wires aren’t crossed

Shane: See, this is why I don’t know if I should say anything. You’re all speechless

Ilya: No, they are just imagining us having very hot sex for 13 years

Kyle: I’ll go first

Kyle: Holy fuck

Kip: Okay you can TOTALLY SAY NO but can we tell our partners this?

Kip: I ask because I let out a very loud yelp and Scott’s asking me what’s wrong. But I can lie!

Kip: I can tell him Kyle sent me a nude by accident or something

Kyle: Wait what? Why would THAT be your lie?!

Kip: Idk I think he’d buy it! 

Kip: Guys he’s really worried, I think he thinks I’m texting my dad about a dying relative

Kip: I’ll just go with the nude angle, fuck it

Kyle: CHRISTOPHER GRADY I SWEAR TO GOD

Shane: You can tell them. It’s fine.

Kyle: Too late, Scott already thinks I’m too horny to make sure I’m texting the right person when I send my 2 PM nudes

Archie: 💀

Kip: Okay, I told him the truth and now he’s just staring at a wall

Archie: I’m googling “Shane Hollander Ilya Rozanov 2010” rn lol you guys were SO cute. a lot of glaring at each other

Kip: Very convincing glaring!!!

Harris: Alright, I’m good

Shane: What?

Harris: Needed a second to process, but we have to strategize here. I have questions. Do you want me to DM you? Some of the questions might be personal but I want you to be prepared for what they’re gonna ask you if you drop this in the meeting

Shane: We can talk about it here. It’ll be like a practice meeting

Ilya: Yes, Shane loves to practice

Shane: Shut up

Kip: Over a decade of bickering…

Kyle: That’s like Archie’s whole lifespan!

Archie: It’s only half of it

Kip: Do you think that’s better?!

Harris: Okay. So, I mean, the biggest question internally is going to be, what’s the hang up here? Aside from “it’s no one’s fucking business” (fair enough) why DON’T you want to share this?

Harris: Is there something more? Did Shane cheat on Rose Landry? Did Ilya cheat on one of his 600 girlfriends? Did Ilya have a secret love child? We need to know your skeletons because sharing this will crack open the closet door

Kip: Wait why do you just run the social media department and not PR for the whole damn NHL?

Kyle: Give him 6 months

Harris: Social media and PR are different jobs actually. I’m usually more focused on creating content than, ya know, damage control, but this team sure keeps me on my toes!

Harris: (also you guys are too sweet 😊)

Shane: No cheating in any direction, no. And no children probably. Hopefully.

Ilya: No children. Their mothers would be asking for money if they were out there. People love to ask me for money.

Harris: Okay so why keep it a secret? Is it in fact just personal or is there more to it that I’m not thinking of?

Ilya: Ah

Ilya: My husband does not like people knowing he has sex

Shane: It’s not that!

Shane: I mean, maybe that's part of it but I also think Crowell might actually kill us if we reveal that the rivalry was never real

Ilya: Fuck Crowell

Harris: Fuck Crowell

Kip: Fuck Crowell

Kyle: What does you having sex have to do with anything though?

Kyle: (also fuck Crowell)

Ilya: For many years we were just fucking harder than we all want Crowell to be fucked

Kip: Eww

Shane: We didn’t become exclusive til after we saw Kip and Scott kiss on the ice in 2017

Kip: Who what me?

Ilya: Yes

Kip: Oh my God???

Kyle: Kip stop clutching your pearls like you and Scott aren’t the grand marshals of a year round 2 man pride parade

Kip: I just wanted to be able to take that man out for pizza without him having a mental breakdown. I didn’t know I’d be changing lives and shit!! Wow

Kip: Okay enough about me making gay history. Do you HAVE to clarify when you became exclusive?

Kip: Also Scott wants to know if he can message your group chat about this. I think he’s feeling left out lol

Ilya: Aww poor Scott

Shane: Yes, that’s fine

Shane: And yeah, we have to clarify or people will assume we were cheating on all our partners from 2010-2017

Kyle: ahhh shit

Ilya: Yes, and this includes Rose Landry. If Rose Landry’s fans think Shane cheated, they will have a barbecue and roast Shane’s head on a stick

Archie: So what’s the pro of sharing the timeline?

Ilya: The pro is everyone knowing Shane was fucking me when he won his Cups

Ilya: Sorry, I mean being fucked by me

Kyle: Appreciate the clarity

Shane: The pro is finally being clear about the fact that Ilya and I were in love with each other when we won our Cups, so obviously we were never throwing games for each other

Harris: Wait so you were in love with each other back then? Even when you weren’t exclusive?

Shane: In hindsight, yeah

Ilya: Yes. Definitely.

Kip: Awwww

Harris: Oooh okay okay we can work with this. My brain is drafting like 6 statements at once please hold

Harris: I’m gonna give you multiple options. With the timeline reveal and without. Just so you have some ideas in mind before the meeting, okay?

Ilya: Thank you Harris

Shane: Thank you

Harris: Alright, I’m gonna go do that! But I just have to say…

Harris: As someone who’s been following your careers since your rookie seasons, this makes my gay heart very happy

Shane: Oh. Wow. Thanks Harris

Ilya: I forget you are a fan boy. Would you like my autograph?

Harris: Bring the Cup to Ottawa. Then we’ll talk

The Secret Society of Stick Handlers

Scott: Okay. Whoa.

Troy: Yeah. I know

Eric: What?

Baldwin: Oh god, what now?

Lundin: The Voyageurs statement maybe?

Baldwin: Ugh yeah what a load of bullshit

Luca: Yes, these screenshots must be real. No imagination could conjure these lunch orders. Just iceberg lettuce and pepperoni?

Baldwin: They call you the “little Centaurs twink” at one point in those messages and you’re more phased by the sandwiches?

Luca: Yes, they call me this on the ice too

Lundin: Straight men really don’t understand what a twink is

Luca: Straight men don’t understand anything

Baldwin: True. But I also kinda feel like they’re playing dumb?

Baldwin: Like when Peters goes “can gay dudes have missionary?”, no one wanted to be the one to go “yeah man, here’s how”

Luca: Ah I see. So instead they said Shane invented gay missionary

Lundin: They give Hollander a lot of credit

Ilya: Seriously, Hunter?

Ilya: You ask your husband if you can message in here about me and Shane being together since our rookie season and all you say is “Okay. Whoa.”?

Eric: Wait what?

Ilya: Kyle didn’t tell you? Kip likes his husband more

Troy: Harris told me but I kinda thought it was a badly timed prank

Eric: Kyle’s not home, he’s out with friends. He should be home soon though I think

Baldwin: Bennett no one gives a shit about your 19 year old boyfriend’s social calendar right now

Eric: He’s almost 30!

Baldwin: I’m gonna circle back later to roast you for the heavy lifting that “almost” is doing

Baldwin: ROOKIE SEASON?

Shane: Actually, since the summer before

Ilya: Aww Shane!

Scott: I have nothing to say. My brain is broken. You broke me

Troy: Same. I mean I thought it was early in their careers but not day 0 early

Ilya: You all care so much about our sex lives. Are yours that boring?

Scott: Shut up, you know this is a big deal

Baldwin: I’m so confused

Baldwin: My life is a lie

Shane: Technically it’s our lives that were lies

Baldwin: @Ryan you can't miss this

Shane: Ryan already knows

Lundin: ???

Ilya: My husband can't resist me at work and we are not the best at locking doors

Baldwin: lmaoooo

Eric: Oh no. Poor Ryan

Lundin: I have no sympathy. Sounds hot

Baldwin: bro

Ryan: Some things can't be unseen

Shane: Sorry Ryan

Ilya: Sorry Price

Ryan: I'm sorry you guys are dealing with all of this. I hope you're holding up okay

Shane: Thank you

Scott: Okay. So.

Ilya: Oh my God Hunter just ask what you want to ask. We don’t care. We are practicing

Eric: Practicing?

Ilya: Shane is sharing this soon. Maybe. We will get lots of questions

Ilya: We will ignore most of them. But some maybe we will answer. Good to know what people will ask

Lundin: Where does Rose Landry play into this? Was she your beard?

Ilya: Enough with Rose Landry! Why is this everyone’s first question?

Ilya: Never “Wow, Ilya, how did you seduce your rival? You must be very good in bed”

Shane: My relationship with Rose was genuine. I was trying to figure out if I was gay (I am)

Eric: …with Rose Landry. Right.

Baldwin: I mean, yeah, I guess if you don’t want her you’re fucking gay

Ilya: This is a lie

Ilya: He dated her because I made him a sandwich and he got scared

Baldwin: okay how the hell do I have more questions than answers right now?

Troy: Same

Luca: What kind of sandwich?

Troy: Haasy.

Lundin: THAT’S your contribution?

Ilya: A tuna melt

Ilya: You are being very quiet Luca

Luca: I don’t have many questions. I’m not really surprised

Lundin: BULLSHIT

Eric: No fucking way

Troy: Even I’m surprised and I thought they got together in like 2013

Luca: Okay I do not like to talk about this but I was a fan of Ilya as a kid. And as you know, I am gay

Lundin: Okay??

Baldwin: So you jacked off to pictures of Rozanov? What’s that have to do with anything?

Troy: Oh God

Luca: NO!!!

Ilya: He still does. He has my poster above his bed

Luca: No I don’t!

Luca: Some of Ilya’s gay fans thought he was secretly dating Shane. Sorry, I thought this was common knowledge

Lundin: In what world is that common knowledge?

Luca: Tumblr

Shane: Wait really? Like since our rookie season?

Luca: I think so? I’m not totally sure. I wasn’t online then since I was 10 years old

Lundin: jesus CHRIST

Eric: My back hurts reading that

Baldwin: someone take me out back and put me down like the elderly, dying animal I apparently am

Luca: I was online when I was 13 and that’s when I found people talking about it

Shane: I need more information

Luca: No.

Shane: What do you mean no?

Ilya: I am your captain and I say yes. Tell us

Luca: It’s weird! I didn’t think I would play with you guys when I read these things. I just thought it was nice to think my favorite player could be gay

Luca: Or bi. I got in a fight with this girl once because she said Ilya is gay and I said no, he must be bi

Lundin: This is starting to freak me out. You’re like psychic

Scott: Literally no one in the NHL thought he wasn't straight back then. He was sleeping with a different woman every day of the week

Baldwin: And also Shane Hollander, apparently

Luca: Yes, this is why I thought he was bi

Luca: And I was not in the NHL! I was 13

Lundin: Please stop reminding us

Ilya: Luca, you are not just our teammate. You are our friend. And our son. You must tell us

Ilya: Or I bet Harris could find us your old tumblr...

Luca: No!

Lundin: He totally posted porn of you guys

Luca: I didn’t!

Luca: So I made an account after my friend told me to in 2013. And I remember the first thing I did was look up hockey. Then I looked up gay. Then I looked up gay hockey

Baldwin: Okay I don’t think he meant you had to be THIS detailed

Ilya: Yes, get on with it

Luca: I saw a post from someone who said they found a deed to a property in Shane’s name, and they thought it was a “love nest” for him and Ilya. Or for him and Hayden

Ilya: EXCUSE ME? Hayden?

Ilya: Which Hayden? Hayden PIKE?

Shane: They knew about that?

Troy: Wait WHAT

Scott: Knew about what? You actually had a LOVE NEST?

Baldwin: That’s a real thing people do?!

Shane: It was an investment property

Ilya: Shane was investing in fucking me

Scott: Jesus Christ

Troy: Oh my GOD

Luca: Oh wow. I can’t believe that post was correct. I thought it was a bit silly, because why would you not just meet at your home?

Ilya: Excellent question. Shane, thoughts?

Luca: Anyways, I thought this post was curious, so I looked further. And I saw a lot of posts about the press conference you gave together. I think in 2012

Shane: 2011

Luca: Yes. And you jumped in and answered a question first because Ilya couldn’t understand it

Luca: So everyone thought “they must be in love”

Shane: And who exactly is everyone?

Luca: I don’t know. Like 500 gay people. Not that many

Lundin: And of those 500 gay people, you happened to be one of them

Lundin: And you happened to get drafted to Rozanov’s team

Luca: Technically, I was drafted the same year Ilya signed with Ottawa

Luca: But no, I wasn’t super invested in any of this. Like I wasn’t really one of the 500 people. I just thought it was an interesting idea

Baldwin: You do realize we all know you’re lying, right?

Luca: I’m not lying! I thought Ilya was dating Cliff Marlow

Ilya: HAHA what?

Luca: You and Shane lived in different countries. It seemed too complicated to be real. Marlow made more sense

Eric: Wait doesn’t your boyfriend live in LA?

Luca: I was 13!!! I was still with my very first boyfriend

Baldwin: YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND WHEN YOU WERE 13?

Scott: I feel like we’re getting off track here

Luca: Yes, I think so

Scott: Your whole careers. Every faceoff. Every all star game. Every cup.

Ilya: Yes

Shane: Yeah

Scott: You do realize you’re about to break the internet again, right?

Shane: Yeah

Ilya: Yes

Scott: Alright. Let’s do it.

Shane: Do what?

Scott: Come on, I know it’s been a few months, but don’t you know by now that these things are a group effort?

Baldwin: Yeah, that’s our thing! We’re like the gay X Squad

Baldwin: Or maybe not that. Sorry Troy

Troy: He’s not even in those movies

Baldwin: All those superheroes blend together!

Troy: I think the point is we’re here if you need us to post a hashtag or anything

Shane: Thanks guys. I think I just need to say my piece and we’ll take it from there. It’s been a long time coming.

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

It’s disheartening to witness bigotry anywhere—but especially in this sport I love so much. When I first started seeing Ilya thirteen years ago, we had a pretty clear idea of what people would say if they ever found out about us. (1/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

I wish I could say that makes the inevitability easier, but it’s still painful. Especially because anyone who’s spent time with me is aware that I’m competitive to a fault (2/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

The Shane Hollander who’s in love with Ilya Rozanov is the same Shane Hollander who got UNO banned from all Voyageurs (and later Centaurs) road trips. Is the same Shane Hollander who once contested a point in bar trivia for 2 hours (3/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Is the same Shane Hollander who won 3 Stanley Cups. Although Ilya and I weren’t exclusive until 2017, I loved him sooner. I’ve loved him every time I took the ice in the past decade, whether with or against him (4/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

The idea that I would throw a game for him is honestly confusing to me. Beating my husband is pretty much my favorite thing in the world. Playing with or against him makes me better. Because he has always played at my level and he challenges me, yes. (5/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

But also because losing to Ilya makes me physically ill. As our relationship has grown and changed, this fact never has. I would go to war for him and, in the right context, I would go to war against him. I have many times and I’ve won. (6/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

I’m not trying to be difficult or put my teammates in a difficult position. I’m just a man who loves hockey and also fell in love. And yes, the person I fell in love with is Ilya Rozanov. You can hate him all you want, but I don’t. Really, I never have. (7/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Additionally, I will be donating $100,000 to Bench Warmers, an organization founded by my friend @LeahCampbellOfficial that seeks to combat discrimination in sports. As someone whose place in this sport has been questioned because of my race since I was in mites, this cause is very dear to me. (8/9)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Sexism, homophobia, and racism should never be tolerated. Not in sports and not anywhere. Thank you for reading. (9/9)

Scott Hunter ✔️ @ScottHunterOfficial

I wholeheartedly support Shane Hollander and anyone else’s ability to love whoever they choose. Yes, even if who they choose is Ilya Rozanov. I’ve matched Shane’s donation of $100,000 to the Bench Warmers Foundation and encourage anyone else with means to do the same. (1/2) 

Scott Hunter ✔️ @ScottHunterOfficial

I also can personally confirm that Hollander takes no prisoners, no matter who his competitor is. Anyone who’s seen him gloat over beating his husband’s records at all star games should know that. (2/2)

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Oh wow, thank you Scott

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Shane has never beat any of my records. This is lie. Liar told you this.

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

It’s a literal fact, Ilya. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shane_Hollander

⁸¹ Winona @winonar3ads4

Not this man citing his sources lmao

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

I have donated $200,000 to the Bench Warmers Foundation. 1000 dollars for every screenshot of shitty texts. You should donate too. Only takes 30 seconds

dove ‹𝟹 @rozsbeartattoo

THIRTY SECOSNDSSJ.J.SD

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Other parts of my day take much longer so I am happy to have a task that is so quick  

bebe @moony4hollanov

Everyone’s caught up on the 30 seconds jab and missing the part where he doubled Shane’s donation. They’re competing over fucking charity donations…with a shared bank account. I love their twisted little brains

christie @shanehollandersleftsock

Sorry hi I love you I love every word you said @ShaneHollander24 I will donate a measly $20 but did you say 13 years? SIR?

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Yes, since our rookie season. Technically, since the summer before. And $20 isn’t measly. Thank you for donating what you can.

Tatum @tatumc3ns

the whole time? the WHOLE time? THE WHOLE TIME?

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Yes. The whole time.

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

wait HUHHHH

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

I’m too afraid to talk to girls, meanwhile Shane Hollander was out here approaching his fucking rival and basically the hottest man on earth in the most homophobic sport ever? I need to get a GRIP

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Shane is hottest man on earth, and I approached him

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

No, I approached you

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

No, you checked me out first because I am so sexy but I made first move

Chiron's Third Dad @centaurtrashh

wow they rly do love to compete huh

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

omg not Hollanov using my post to flirt!! dw I was exaggerating anyways. Obviously Troy Barrett's the hottest man alive

Harris 🍎🌈 @HarrisDrover

You get it 😉

wren (she/her) @alittlewren

Oh FUCK so they were together during the 2014 Olympics? Lord give me the strength not to break my own rules about writing RPF because…

Troy Barrett ✔️ @TBarrett17

I know firsthand what it’s like to play for a team fueled by secret group chats, sexism, and cruelty. It’s a culture I’ll always regret conforming to. I’ve donated $200k to the Bench Warmers fund, as well as $200k to the Irina Foundation. I hope you’ll join me.

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

“Secret group chats” oh I know Toronto’s shaking right now

nadia 🌈 @hazyhayess

God I love these messy gay men so much

hollanov's secret love child @holand3rrozanvv

And to think people have given me shit for saying they got together as early as 2012 SUCK A FAT ONE LIKE ILYA ROZANOV HAS BEEN DOING FOR 13 YEARS BABY

kj ²⁴ @kyliebluejeans

Including “Losing to Ilya makes me physically ill” in his official statement is KILLING ME god I love this freak

soph @freckleshanes

No I actually audibly laughed at that. He probably drinks so much ginger ale to settle his stomach after Roz beats him lmao

Mads @madaline_centaurs1

This but actually the most underrated part is he got bullied and his response was to donate 100k to charity? Dude’s better than me because I’d be spending that money to put hits on all of them

Ari @reluctantlyyours

"Exclusive in 2017" oh Ilya saw Shane pull the hottest movie star in hollywood and was like "let me lock that shit down NOW"

cal @vaughnybaby

I actually assumed it was more them seeing Scott and Kip kiss on the ice and realizing it was possible for them too!

Ari @reluctantlyyours

well fuck you now I'm crying again

bebe @moony4hollanov

No you don't understand like YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND how this feels as someone who's been a hollanov shipper since 2013. The whole time. THE WHOLE TIME. And you all said I lost my mind and he must be in love with Hayden Pike, THEN said I lost my mind and they only got together in 2017. ALL I DO IS WINNN!!

hollanov's secret love child @holand3rrozanvv

THEY WON THE BATTLE BUT WE WON THE WAR BESTIE

shayden's third @shaydeneternally

Well...actually...

bebe @moony4hollanov

omg please do what Pike should and retire

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

I like you. Sorry we made everyone think you are crazy. Everyone, Bebe is smart and right.

hollanov's secret love child @holand3rrozanvv

omfg bebe are you alive right now???

bebe @moony4hollanov

...NO

for the gays @rozanovslapdog

Shane Hollander never actually hating Ilya Rozanov is such an adrenaline rush. Pretty sure I could run 15 miles and lift a zamboni right now

Max Riley ✔️ @MaxRileyPlays

I’m just gonna say it…I think it’s time the NHL grows up and accepts that Ilya and Shane are in love. Players in the PWHL date ALL THE TIME (see: how I met my wife). They aren’t reinventing the wheel here!

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Great point. Thank you Max. Hopefully people get bored of talking about us soon

Max Riley ✔️ @MaxRileyPlays

Not likely, but I can try to start beef with Leah to take some heat off of you if you want. @LeahCampbellOfficial, your hair is clogging the shower drain AGAIN

Leah Campbell ✔️ @LeahCampbellOfficial

Lies and slander, I would never. You must be a cheater like @JackiePikeCA and @IlyaRozanovWins

Sierra @sierradelphia

Watching a Hollander and Rozanov checking compilation and anyone who thinks trip gate was real owes them an apology. These men do NOT PLAY on the ice! Ever!

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

!! tagging in some of the homophobes from this morning @mattknowshockey @barrywilliams1234 open your notes apps babe

Matt @mattknowshockey

Yeah, alright, I'll eat my words. They wouldn't have made it to the level they're at without putting their feelings aside on the ice. I think Montreal and the hockey world at large owes Hollander an apology. And yes, I'm including myself in that.

Barry W. @barrywilliams1234

Sure, maybe they've been leaving their feelings off the ice...but are they ever ON the ice? Feels like they're online arguing and flirting nonstop these days. Get to practice boys and up your conditioning so we can win a cup for the love of all that is holy

Sierra @sierradelphia

I hate to agree with notoriously homophobic user Barry Williams but you may have a point there lmfao bc why is Stanley Cup winner Ilya Rozanov more chronically online than me

Luca Haas ✔️ @LucaHaasNHL

I have donated $100k to the Bench Warmers Foundation. I hope you will join me. Sports should be for all, always.

J. Baldwin ✔️ @BaldwinPlays

Well said. Is this the quality of writing we can find on your tumblr?

Luca Haas ✔️ @LucaHaasNHL

STOP

trina @guardiansgirl2

7 years til they were exclusive. 7. Years. If I was in the “what are we” phase with a man for 7 years, I would k*ll him, then myself

dove ‹𝟹 @rozsbeartattoo

Oh honey, for Ilya Rozanov? I'd be 95 years old in the nursing home asking "what are we" with a smile

Cassie @CassieBoodram

Shane Hollander is a class act and a damn fun guy. I would gladly hand over the reins to the WAG calendar to him if I thought he had time for it. If you don’t believe me, please enjoy his drunk karaoke rendition of It’s All Coming Back to Me Now

charlie @shaneholeander

I think this might be the most Canadian man on earth

average shane hollander enthusiast @shanesw1ns

HELP he’s so cute. What’s on his head?

Cassie @CassieBoodram

A balloon animal hat. I think it was supposed to be shaped like a dog

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Cassie. Why?

Cassie @CassieBoodram

Sorry, have to defend the honor of my favorite WAG

Lisa Hayes @drlisahayes

Um I hope you mean second fav! Also I nominate Shane for king of the WAGs. He always knows when the boys need to switch over to water and that is a skill that can’t be taught

trace @hollanovweddingofficiant

Wait so summer before…we all agree this CCM photoshoot was the MOMENT then right? RIGHT?

greyson ₊˚｡ ❆ @m0therpuck3r17

omg I've been thinking the same!! hard agree, it has to be

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Yes, I agree with this too

CCM ✔️ @CCMOfficial

Honored to be a part of this iconic NHL history 🌈

Hayden Pike ✔️ @HaydenPikeHockey

Donated $5k to the Bench Warmers foundation in my beautiful wife Jackie’s name. Sorry it’s not more, I have to feed all these kids that don’t belong to me. As a consolation, and for no reason at all, here’s my team’s lunch orders from the official chat last month! 

Tatum @tatumc3ns

I was like “well how’s that gonna prove it?” turns out these guys eat the same gross ass sandwiches every week?

miley 🏒 @haydenpiked3

The Voyageurs’ PR team lives in fear of a mini van driving dad who would take a bullet for his gay bestie 

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Is sauce illegal in Montreal?

Hayden Pike ✔️ @HaydenPikeHockey

I can’t speak for the rest of the guys, but I don’t really like the sauces subway has so I use my own stash of buffalo sauce when we order from there 

cherry @pikepowerplay

Hayden Pike clarifying once again that he does indeed have taste

aaron @aaronevermore

I love that all my oomfs are rewatching old Hollanov videos and giggling/kicking their feet. Me personally I just watched the clip where they ask Ilya about Shane and he's like "who? he is goalie now, yes?" as if that's not his emotional support fuck buddy

trace @hollanovweddingofficiant

Giggling? I just rewatched the 2011 all star game press conference and the irina foundation announcement press conference back to back and wept like a BABY!!

J.J. Boiziau ✔️ @JJBoiziau

I’ve donated $100k to the Bench Warmers Foundation. Proud of @ShaneHollander24 for everything he does. Here he is a few years back, playing darts, competitive as ever! I think this dart board has since undergone a makeover but I’m not sure

charlie @shaneholeander

I’m SCREAMING they said “Not credible? Think again babe”

Louis @louishockeytrash

Hayden and J.J. are the ONLY #TrueVoyageurs if you ask me!!

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

This dart board looks bad without my face on it

David Hollander @DavidHollander2481

So proud of both my boys for always being true to themselves and their competitive spirits. I’ve made a donation to the Bench Warmers fund in their name. I do wish they’d go a little easier on an old man during Yahtzee nights though

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Thanks dad. And sorry, I can’t. I was raised better.

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Thank you David ❤️ but do not lie and act innocent in your first post, I have seen you do a victory dance over rolling three fives

Asha @himbolover365

The fact that Shane’s dad made an account just to post this is making me a smidge emotional

eli @elistwistedmind

Only a SMIDGE? 😭😭😭😭 (don't look too closely at what he made his handle or you'll be bawling with me lol)

mal @ilyastoenailclippings

I know you hockey boys are online right now doing your latest sweet little trend so can one of you PLEASE tell us how tf @ShaneHollander24 got UNO banned from 2 NHL teams?! @TBarrett17 @LucaHaasNHL @JJBoiziau @HaydenPikeHockey

Troy Barrett ✔️ @TBarrett17

If I answer this, I’ll get another 2 hour lecture about UNO rules, so no

J.J. Boiziau ✔️ @JJBoiziau

He plays it wrong and gets very upset when other people play it right

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

There’s no other game where people so blatantly ignore the rule book. If you refer to the official rules, the winner is actually chosen on a point system, not on who discards their cards first. Also stacking has a specific etiquette. I’m just making sure people follow it.

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Sweetheart please don’t be a nerd in public after I admitted to being in love with you my whole adult life

Hayden Pike ✔️ @HaydenPikeHockey

Like you don’t love it. Also why is no one mentioning how aggressive he gets when shouting UNO/arguing that he said it first? I've had literal nightmares about it

Luca Haas ✔️ @LucaHaasNHL

We are afraid to relive it 

Daphne @daphnesdaffodils

Bla bla respect real people’s private lives bla bla but you know their sex was NASTY after Rozanov beat Hollander to the first cup win…

dean 🏒 @deanmachine

omg WAIT wasn't that the same year they presented together at the NHL awards? and they joked about not having each other's numbers?

Daphne @daphnesdaffodils

omfg ur right...oh they think they're FUNNYYYY (they are)

rose landry step on me @roses_laundry

@RoseLandry dated @ShaneHollander24 at the end of 2016, right before he became official with his now husband...I bet she was really supportive and helped guide him through his sexuality crisis 🥺

Jill @gingeralencoke

Seriously? Rose Landry fans are relentless. Shane is his own ADULT person and she's a straight woman, not some gay guru

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Yes, I don't know if Ilya and I would be here today without @RoseLandry. She was so kind and supportive during a time of confusion for me and I'll always be grateful for her selflessness.

Rose Landry 🌹✔️ @RoseLandry

❤️❤️ My favorite gay boyfriend, forever. So incredibly proud of everything you and Ilya have accomplished since. Donating to the Bench Warmers fund in your name! Let's do virtual brunch soon :)

Jill @gingeralencoke

...well I'll be damned

Eric Bennett ✔️ @EricBennettNYC

I’ve donated 100k to the Bench Warmers foundation and, additionally, I’ll donate $500 for every goal scored by an out queer player in the NHL for the rest of the season. Any other retired players want to join me?

Priya @admiralscellie

Oh you’re a SUGAR daddy, got it, got it

J. Baldwin ✔️ @BaldwinPlays

Absolutely not, I’ll go broke. But I’ll donate $10 per every goal those fuckers score

R. Lundin ✔️ @LundinBridgesHockey

I’ll do $100 per goal (hi guys I finally found my password! Are we doing a hashtag for this one?)

Eric Bennett ✔️ @EricBennettNYC

Nope, just donations I think 

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Thank you guys, that’s so generous

J. Baldwin ✔️ @BaldwinPlays

Well now I look poor

⁸¹ shilo @shyshilowrites

think I'm gonna write a hurt/comfort fic about Shane comforting Ilya after beating him for the rookie of the year award :'(

Asha @himbolover365

...I fear we've already lost the plot if you think that's how that went down lmfao 

victoria @rozbian

So they became exclusive in 2017...probably after the cup kiss...then one year later Ilya signed with Ottawa? Oh they moved FAST

TJ @tjlewis

Fast? THEY WERE IN A SITUATIONSHIP FOR 7 YEARS

victoria @rozbian

okay you got me there but can we even call it a situationship when Ilya was like 1 second away from openly weeping on the ice after Cliff Marlow checked Shane too hard?

TJ @tjlewis

...bringing that up is sick and twisted actually

Kingfisher NYC @kingfisherpub

New special alert! Come by and order a Hollanov (a vodka ginger ale). All proceeds go to the Irina Foundation. Additionally, we'll be making a donation to the Bench Warmers Foundation 🌈🏒 P.S. a mocktail version is available!

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Okay, this is very cute. Who came up with the idea @KyleSwiftly or @KipGradyBoat

Kip Grady @KipGradyBoat

Kyle thought of doing a cocktail, but @ScottHunterOfficial was actually the one who said it should be a vodka ginger ale

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Aww our biggest fan

Scott Hunter ✔️ @ScottHunterOfficial

Shut up

Kip Grady @KipGradyBoat

He lowkey is. I caught him watching an edit of you guys set to the song A Thousand Years a few minutes ago

Scott Hunter ✔️ @ScottHunterOfficial

I'm divorcing you

kai @hausofhaas

HOW did they keep this secret for a decade though?? I went one month before hard launching my boyfriend and nearly lost my minddd

Selena @thathockeygirl17

SOMEBODY in their lives had to figure it out, right? I mean Rozanov literally moved to fucking Ottawa. It can't have just been stan twitter side eyeing that, right?

Hayden Pike ✔️ @HaydenPikeHockey

Yeah, I think someone probably pieced it together...

miley 🏒 @haydenpiked3

Wait how many years did they spend going at it at your house? Somehow it didn't occur to me that you'd known for awhile and Brad gate wasn't the first time they got to second base there lol

Hayden Pike ✔️ @HaydenPikeHockey

I'm not sure I actually want to know the answer to that one myself

Archie Simmons ✔️ @ArchibaldSimmons

I’ve donated $100k to the Bench Warmers Foundation in honor of my fellow Calvin Klein model and all around gay icon/stand up guy, @ShaneHollander24. I hope you’ll join me in donating what you can!!

ur mom @secretayofhollanov

Oh thanks for reminding me that they were together when Shane did those Calvin Klein spreads, I’ll surely be so normal about this

Jackie Pike @JackiePikeCA

Exciting news! On January 26th we'll be hosting a fundraising dinner thanks to the combined efforts of Yuna Hollander, @ValComeau2, @RyanPrice, and @MilaDrapeau. Fabian Salah will perform, followed by a viewing of the Centaurs and the Admirals pride night game

Jackie Pike @JackiePikeCA

Tickets include drinks and dinner. Half of the proceeds will go to the Bench Warmers Foundation, the other half will go to the Irina Foundation. Please come or I’ll have to use my powers of mind control to convince you!!

Ryan Price @RyanPrice

I can’t wait. See you there. 

greyson ₊˚｡ ❆ @m0therpuck3r17

omfg has this EVER happened before? WAGs organizing an event to watch ANOTHER TEAM PLAY?

Sage @outofthyme

They didn’t come to play. Literally lol

Jazz @jazzyjohnson2

We were all like “aww David’s post” meanwhile Yuna Hollander’s busy uniting all the WAGs (and Ryan Price) and getting shit DONE

fabian interacted 2x @fabiansequins

“And Ryan Price” baby you mean Fabian Salah’s WAG?

nadia 🌈 @hazyhayess

Wait wait my brain is still processing but like. This does mean that literally every mean thing Rozanov and Hollander have said about each other in interviews is just flirting, right?

bells @isabellagomez3

You misspelled foreplay

Shane Hollander Fan Club

Bood: uhh why did I have to find out from social media that Holly and Roz have been in love and shit since their ROOKIE SEASON?

Troy: I thought it was the summer before

Shane: Oh sorry guys. We meant to text here first but management wanted us to get the statement out ASAP. It’s been a crazy day

Ilya: Yes and Luca told us it was obvious so no need

Dykstra: Luca what?

Wyatt: OBVIOUS MY ASS

Luca: I didn’t say obvious! I said unsurprising

Holmberg: ???

Bood: Well it’s not that either

Ilya: Luca is a very good fan boy. He spent years studying me

Luca: No I didn’t! 

Bood: I just can’t believe Holly was in love with rookie Roz. He was even more of a dick then

Troy: Was he though?

LaPointe: not possible

Bood: Yeah! Remember when he said he was gonna score 50 goals his first season?

Ilya: Yes. Then I did.

Bood: Sure but you’re not supposed to say it 

Dykstra: What’s more surprising, Holly wanting to bone 19 year old asshole Roz or baby Haasy being like “yes, that asshole is my idol”

Young: wait I’ve never thought about that

Luca: He’s very good at hockey.

Troy: That’s code for Luca had a crush on him

Bood: ohhhhh

Dykstra: awwww

Luca: No!!!

Ilya: Everyone has a crush on me Luca. No need to pretend

Bood: So 19 year old Shane Hollander heard this showboating and was like “yes, that one’s mine”?

Ilya: Basically

Shane: No comment

Dykstra: You can’t say “no comment” in the group chat?? 

Troy: Hey, Harris is asking if you guys want to do a combined donation and the Centaurs will match it? He’ll send out an email soon but is wondering if there’s interest

Dykstra: Of course!!

Bood: Hell yeah

Luca: I already donated but I can again

Troy: I think what you donated counts

Dykstra: Here’s hoping since you donated like 6 million dollars Barrett

Wyatt: He has a guilt complex for being in the “We Hate Wyatt Hayes” group chat

Troy: I never hated you!!

Wyatt: Yet you laughed at my sneakers

Bood: Okay I don’t wanna minimize Troy’s tragic bully back story, but we literally all laugh at your sneakers

Young: Yeah they look like if Mike Wazowski was grinded up and turned into sneakers

Wyatt: What?!

Holmberg: that’s horrifying imagery but accurate 

Ilya: Yes, they are very ugly. And thank you for donating

Shane: Thank you guys, seriously. I’m pretty shocked by this whole thing, I didn’t expect the donations to catch on

Ilya: Hunter can’t resist starting a trend

LaPointe: I’ll donate

LaPointe: also were u really in a situationship for 7 years????

Holmberg: oh yeah I’m wondering that too. I kept a girl in the talking stages for 6 months once and she nearly killed me

Young: even 6 months is brutal

Young: Maybe it’s a gay thing though?

Troy: No

Luca: No

Shane: It’s more like a “you can’t fall in love with your sworn rival” thing

Shane: Well you shouldn’t. I guess you can

Ilya: Yes, you definitely can

Holmberg: but like…how

Ilya: Shane is a naughty boy

Holmberg: EW

Bood: bro

Troy: Why??

Dykstra: “30 seconds in missionary” my ass

Bood: Literally never

Ilya: Well, sometimes. My husband is not just fast on the ice

Wyatt: Oh noooo

Troy: …okay

Holmberg: 😳

Dykstra: ILYA WHY

Bood: I’m just relieved he’s back to embarrassing Shane

Dykstra: Aww that’s true. The balance is restored 

Centaurs Official ✔️ @OttawaCentaurs

Players on the Centaurs have collectively donated $950k to the Bench Warmers Foundation today. We’re going to match this donation, bringing the total up to 1.9 million 🎉 The Centaurs support everyone’s right to love who they love and be true to who they are on and off the ice ❤️

Leah Campbell ✔️ @LeahCampbellOfficial

Oh wow, thank you so much! I’m truly floored by all the support today, but that’s just the power of @ShaneHollander24

MJ @mjknowsall

Aaaand the Voyageurs are still SILENT

lynn 🐝 jackieshauna truther @barrettsbiceps

Personally if I worked for the voyageurs, I’d be donating $1m and spending another $1m to beg Harris Drover to come work for me lmao

Patrice Drapeau ✔️ @PatDrapeauPlays

I do not condone bullying in sports of any kind. I apologize sincerely for the comments I made in the heat of the moment while blowing off steam and will be doing some internal work on how I can help make the Voyageurs and the sport at large a safer place.

mel @melissaplays34

The heat of WHAT moment? You were literally just sitting around eating iceberg lettuce and losing games 

Raquel ⋆.𐙚 ̊ @rockyzzz3

No donation though?? You should really put your money where your mouth is!

⁸¹ Winona @winonar3ads4

Fire your publicist right now immediately holy shit

Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @IlyaRozanovWins

Okay.

dove ‹𝟹 @rozsbeartattoo

This is the loudest okay in history lmao

hattie 💕 @voyageurne

Alright fuck it, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Whose jersey on the Centaurs should I buy?

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

YESSS WELCOME HOME!! and literally anyone's, you can't go wrong

hattie 💕 @voyageurne

alright, I'm gonna get Holmberg's! :)

anya unofficial @hollanoveru

your brain fascinates me

Gilbert Comeau ✔️ @GilbertComeauHockey

I’ve donated $500 to the Bench Warmers Foundation. I apologize if my remarks came off as offensive. That definitely wasn’t my intention. It was an honor to play with @ShaneHollander24 for a decade and I wish him and his husband all the best.

lucy ୨୧ @iluvluceey

Bro this one’s even worse

Dawn @breakofdawn24

I think you’re missing two zeroes

steph @stephaknee2

ONLY 500 DOLLARS?

greyson ₊˚｡ ❆ @m0therpuck3r17

Guys be nice, he’s about to lose everything in the divorce

bebe @moony4hollanov

“His husband” oh you can’t even stomach saying Rozanov’s name 

Shane Hollander ✔️ @ShaneHollander24

Thanks Gil. I know times are tough since you play us again in two weeks, so I really appreciate this.

Jordan @twinkadjacent

Shane Hollander, please never change

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