Preface
ignoring every omen
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/79801801.
- Rating:
- Teen And Up Audiences
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Category:
- M/M
- Fandoms:
- Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
- Relationship:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
- Characters:
- Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Original Characters (hockeytwt ensemble), Scott Hunter, Rose Landry, Tanner Dillon, Ottawa Centaurs Ensemble
- Additional Tags:
- POV Outsider, Social Media, Hockey Media, NHL Insiders, podcasts, Humor, Post-Book 2: Heated Rivalry (Game Changers), Minor TLG spoilers, Canon Compliant, ish, set in ilya’s last year in boston, shane gets slightly cancelled at one point for chirping ilya, we have fun here, the centaurs are bad the bears and voyageurs are good. there’s a lot going on, there is also contract talk in this one. the concept of ilya rozanov moving to ottawa baffles
- Language:
- English
- Series:
- Part 1 of nothing that i don’t already know
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-02-18 Completed: 2026-02-19 Words: 13,659 Chapters: 2/2
ignoring every omen
Summary
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
I sat down with Ilya Rozanov to talk about what he loves about Boston, what it’s like to play the best hockey of his career, and what comes next. bit.ly/203948tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i s2g i just saw r*zanov at the ottawa airport…. theres no way right↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
tired: hollanov real
wired: ir81 to the centaurs real
or: ilya's last season in boston through the eyes of hockey twitter.
Notes
hello! this fic kind of the first in a series, except the sequel was written and posted first. you absolutely don’t need to read it first, but you will get to it and might feel like some of the threads of this one have been dropped. oopsie!
also, this turned out longer than the other bc it turns out i had to write the plot myself instead of just following tlg. the horrors!
this fic is split into two chapters. the second is complete and will be posted tomorrow :)a few other notes:
> this is book verse! you’ll be mostly fine with only the show but u might miss some stuff
> there are some views mentioned in this fic that are often found in hockey media but are stereotypical and unhelpful. as ever, portrayal is not endorsement
> i realized way too late that ilya only signs with farah in the summer of 2020 so please ignore that. in part bc i contend that it makes more sense to him to switch in 2017 SORRYYYYYYYYY
> slang-wise this is almost certainly anachronistic to 2017/18. i thought probably neither you nor i wanted to return to the smol bean era
> i haven’t read common goal yet and im only partway through tough guy so if something happened in 2017/18 in those books that's not on the wiki it's none of my business. sorry to rachel reid i will get to them eventually
> this fic contains a truly wild number of references to real hockey lore so i hope u enjoy them if u are in the know. also, unfortunately, off season hockeytwt really is just Like That
> irl the voyageurs would always tweet in both french and english but my french is just not what it used to betitle from bad omens by 5sos
hockey term glossary
June 2017
…
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
asking for a friend is it still ethical to read the scott/shane calder trophy daddy kink fic
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
babe…
margo @shanebortion
it’s been long enough that i can speak my truth: scott hunter is gay asf bc straw+berry smoothies are ass
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
it’s been ten minutes but you’re right
July
yejin @anticottagecore
my favourite customer this summer is the guy who clearly fucking hates the jeep he drives. literally apologizes for his ugly car every time he’s in here. dude i dont care abt your normal ass car!!! but he’s hot and kind of funny sooo 🙈
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
i cant believe youre in muskoka all fucking summer why do u hate meeeeee 💔
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Taking questions for the #NeutralZonePod today! Use the hashtag or reply below to submit.
↳ ash 🗽| admirals cup!! @scotthunty
Do you think the Admirals can go back to back?
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
will the cens fire the gm? please say yes and please say soon
The Neutral Zone S02E03: Q and A, 00:00
Tyler Kudirka: Hello everyone! Welcome back to The Neutral Zone podcast with NHL Insider Denis Alderman. I’m your host, Tyler Kudirka. Today, we’re taking listener questions! We’ll be talking signings, we’re talking trades, we’re talking offer sheets, we’re talking draft reflections, we’re on it all. But we’re starting somewhere silly because it’s the summer! It’s mid-July, the news is slowing down, and it’s time for celebrity gossip, Denis.
Denis Alderman: Oh no. We’ve not had enough of that this season?
Tyler Kudirka: It’s never ending, Denis. Although this one, I admit, is a few steps backward. From Twitter user Celeste, at celestielle, will Shane Hollander request a trade to LA for his girlfriend Rose Landry, or are the breakup rumours true?
Denis Alderman: [laughing] Wow. That’s a question. Well, first, I can’t speak to Hollander’s personal life, nor would I even if I did know. But, to the trade question, I've heard absolutely nothing to indicate that Hollander is looking to move, not to LA, Anaheim, San Francisco, or anywhere else.
Tyler Kudirka: Might’ve tipped the scales for LA in the finals last month, eh?
Denis Alderman: Hah. Maybe so. It was hard to argue with Hunter the back half of this year, and it's all a moot point given that Hollander ended the season on LTIR.
Tyler Kudirka: Any word on that, by the way?
Denis Alderman: Oh! You know, I’ve not inquired specifically about Hollander in a while. I believe the Voyageurs were expecting him at camp in perfect health come September, and things were progressing as expected back in April.
Tyler Kudirka: Well sure, we’ll take that. Hopefully he gets to enjoy some of his summer. Okay, next question, from Twitter user Brian Walsh, at bostonbrian: What does the next Rozanov contract look like?
Denis Alderman: Now this is an interesting question. First thing to note is that Rozanov can sign an extension at any time now, as of July 1st.
Tyler Kudirka: That's true! If he wants to stay with the Bears, that is. He could wait it out for free agency.
Denis Alderman: He could. I'm not hearing a lot there just yet, but it's still early days. I haven’t heard any concerns about him extending from Boston, but team loyalty doesn’t always mean as much to non-North American players.
Tyler Kudirka: Not sure that’s fair, but I guess he doesn’t have a boyhood team here the way, say, Hollander does.
Denis Alderman: Right. Suffice to say, the Bears have instigated the conversation, but it’s the summer, Rozanov usually spends a good chunk of the off season in Russia, and they figure this is a conversation they can easily pick up come September.
Tyler Kudirka: Any idea about the price tag? It’s gotta be a big one, you’d think.
Denis Alderman: I think we probably get into the double digits here. And, look, I think the money is also dependent on where he’s going. The Bears are in win now mode, they probably appreciate a little more flexibility. If Rozanov wants another cup in Boston, maybe he takes, you know, 9.5 rather than the 12 million or so he could get somewhere else.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s a big price difference.
Denis Alderman: Sure, but I think the only teams in a position to be offering him 12 would be rebuilding teams like Buffalo or Columbus. And I don’t see Roz taking that kind of swing.
Tyler Kudirka: No, no, that’s a guy who likes to be competitive. So it comes down to weighing a situation he knows and likes in Boston, versus potentially more money with an up-and-coming team, or even more with a crummy team.
Denis Alderman: Pretty much. And, depending on the offer, maybe he decides he could be the thing that turns a decent team into a good team. But I think, more likely, he stays with the Bears. I don’t really see a reason not to, and I don’t think the Bears do either.
Tyler Kudirka: That all makes sense to me. Okay, next question…
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
The market would never forgive Rozanov if he left for money.
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
rozanov moving to buffalo to boost his sports car budget would be so fucking funny
laurie @hollypike
hollandry lowkey killed the sh*yden tag… meanwhile h*llanov is thriving those mfers are like cockroaches
↳ margo @shanebortion
i feel like we’re not giving hayden’s 4th kid enough credit
jock strapped @shilya
girl h*llanov literally had their biggest moment at the asg this yr of course we’re thriving
Quote Retweet:
laurie @hollypike
hollandry lowkey killed the sh*yden tag… meanwhile h*llanov is thriving those mfers are like cockroaches
↳ xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
oomf doesnt know abt the time shane was seen outside the bears hotel in 2012
gay jess @pikesbian
it’s fine if the sh/ayden tag dies bc the hollapike polycule is gonna make a huge comeback this year
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
is it a comeback if it’s never been anything
gay jess @pikesbian
“the hollapike polycule isnt real, it cant hurt you” and meanwhile shane went to cabo with just hayden and jackie last summer…. they shared a villa…
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
beloved jj was definitely on the trip did u see his summer photo dump
↳ laurie @hollypike
@shanedoe babe he was in santorini <3
↳ margo @shanebortion
in santorini with a marg and a caption about fish tacos right…
gay jess @pikesbian
if we call it the voyageurs polycule there’s room for jj 😌
yejin @anticottagecore
turns out my jeep guy is like a kind of famous hockey player… not to me, to me he is the flirty but fundamentally unattainable guy who hates his jeep
yejin @anticottagecore
anyone else getting kind of a bisexual vibe
August
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hearing that Ilya Rozanov has switched agents. He’s now represented by Farah Jalali. Jalali’s other clients include Bears teammates Connors and Carmichael.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
…is anyone else scared he might not extend with boston?
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
@marlyroz nah it’s honestly probably a good sign. he’s moving more of his life to north america/boston bc he’s getting serious with his gf here. i don’t think he went home to russia this year either.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
@carmichaels he has a gf?
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
@marlyroz yeah! he and svetlana vetrova have been together since ~2014. they keep it pretty quiet but with his father passing i think he’s probably going to be in boston more 💗
ezra @rozanot
there’s no way this is true bc i know like three different people who hooked up with that man in 2016 alone
Quote Retweet:
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
@marlyroz yeah! he and svetlana vetrova have been together since ~2014. they keep it pretty quiet but with his father passing i think he’s probably going to be in boston more 💗
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
all hockey players cheat on the road this means nothing…
↳ ezra @rozanot
i live in boston
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
well! 🥴
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
“he’s going to be in boston more” and meanwhile sv*tlana’s literally in russia rn…
↳ jock strapped @shilya
LITERALLYYY like cmon her insta is public. at least pay attention if youre gonna make gf allegations
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
isn’t farah jalali shane’s agent…. hmmmmmmmmm!
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
2+2=5
ilya’s thong @achilles81
theyre cancelling roz for cheating and he’s not even dating this girl officially….
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
no it’s crazy like i do kind of think they’re together now bc i havent seen him at the club in MONTHS but like it has Not been since 2014
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
like every girl i know who was in the boston club scene circa 2012-2015 has been hit on by roz… ik players cheat but not even roz is that obvious
Mandy @mandyskates
oh so he harasses women
Quote Retweet:
★pri★ @bostonroz
like every girl i know who was in the boston club scene circa 2012-2015 has been hit on by roz… ik players cheat but not even roz is that obvious
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
I LITERALLY DIDN’T SAY THAT
★pri★ @bostonroz
roz is like. he’s just sexy and flirty and fun with everyone! and also if you’ve ever had him flirt with you… you would let him hit
★pri★ @bostonroz
i can hear you saying nooo he’s not my type. wrong. that man stands in front of you and he becomes your type
★pri★ @bostonroz
also im not saying he sleeps with everyone he flirts with oh my godddddd. just that we all want him okay???? Okay???? boston club scene menace ONLY in the sense that he flirts without follow through. he’s literally just charming
★pri★ @bostonroz
actually also i have to take the original tweet back. he’s never flirted with any of my lesbian friends…. why’s his gaydar kind of good
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ethical slut with good gaydar ilya rozanov is just not what i thought i was logging into twitter for today
vic hates hockey @censeless
….people saying r*zanov is dating a girl in boston and meanwhile my irl sold him ginger ale and condoms in muskoka last week
vic hates hockey @censeless
wait didnt he unfollow like thirty instagram models in june…. there’s math here that is mathing
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Today’s #NeutralZonePod: The Lemaire captaincy, the off-season injury report, and a mid-podcast trade!
The Neutral Zone S02E10: Dillon, 37:29
Tyler Kudirka: …I just have a feeling the Nomads are going to turn it around this year.
Denis Alderman: It’s been– Oh. You know what, Tyler, we’re going to have to pause the recording for just a second. I’m getting word of a trade.
Tyler Kudirka: Ooh, live on the air. And by live on the air, I mean, obviously, prerecorded in our studio. We’ll take a pause and be right back, you won’t even know we were gone.
Tyler Kudirka: And we’re back, the tweets are sent, the details are in, Denis, let’s talk about it: the Centaurs are at it again.
Denis Alderman: Yeah, that’s sure one way to put it.
Tyler Kudirka: The Ottawa Centaurs acquire Tanner Dillon from Los Angeles for their former captain Brent Watson and a 2018 3rd. Where did this move come from, Denis?
Denis Alderman: I’m asking the same question, Tyler. I guess the Centaurs saw something they liked about Dillon in the Finals.
Tyler Kudirka: He played some important minutes.
Denis Alderman: Emphasis on some. But, you know, Los Angeles are a good young team. I guess they figure they could use a heavier veteran defenseman, which they’re getting in Watson. And a guy like Dillon, maybe he just needs the opportunity to play top line minutes.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah, man, looking at the Ottawa line up, he’ll not lack for opportunity. Do you think they’ll try him at center?
Denis Alderman: They might. That’s pretty obviously the big gap for the Centaurs. Dillon was drafted as a winger, I’m not sure if he has experience at center, but I guess they didn’t feel there was a tried and true center available at their price point.
Tyler Kudirka: The thing is, I think this is an overpay.
Denis Alderman: For Dillon? Maybe. I think it’ll be hard to make that call before we see him play for them.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure. I like this move from LA’s perspective, though.
Denis Alderman: Oh, certainly. Watson’s a better fit for their cup window. And they got pushed around a bit in the final, and Watson makes them tougher, gives them options defensively…
vic hates hockey @censeless
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE GAVE UP PICKS AND OUR FUCKING CAPTAIN FOR TANNER FUCKING DILLON????????
vic hates hockey @censeless
i hate this team i hate this team i hate this team
cens sicko @bywardbood
maybe tanner dillon will be good for us 🥴
Cens Watch ☑️ @CensWatch
Tanner Dillon is a 25-year-old right winger. He has a career 104pts (49G 55A) in 301 games for Los Angeles. Dillon put up 4 points in 21 playoff games this year.
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
it’s literally so over
vic hates hockey @censeless
obviously watter deserves the chance to win a cup but FUCKKKKKK
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Alluded to this on the pod, but this is a puzzling trade for the Cens. Obviously they need to get younger, but prioritising getting better now rather than investing in the future seems like the wrong approach when trading a franchise guy like Watson.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
It’s obviously hard to know for sure, but you’d think they could’ve gotten a good haul of picks and prospects if they'd waited till the deadline. Teams are always looking to shore up defense in Feb.
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
people wonder how i became a hollanov fan in ottawa and the answer is that if i spent all my time thinking about the cens i’d have to increase my wellbutrin prescription
September
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
desperately want hollandry to make some noise… hollandry we miss youuuuuuuuu
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
i gotta be honest guys i think hollandry broke up
↳ hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
just bc they’re quiet doesn’t mean they broke up! shane is a very private person (this is his first public relationship), they’ve probably spent the off-season spending time together in more private settings outside of montreal!
↳ kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
rose has been sooo active on insta and yet she hasn’t posted shane since literally january
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
we have to let hollandry die guys they never even confirmed that they were dating WHY would they confirm a break up 😭
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
everytime h*llandry comes up i think about the time shane got cancelled on tumblr for being bad at making women cum
↳ jock strapped @shilya
HEY WHAT
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
yeah 😭😭 basically in like 2011/12 someone submitted an anonymous ask to a gossip blog saying that their friend hooked up with him and he gave really bad head
↳ jock strapped @shilya
but i’m the bad guy if i call him gay… right….
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
ROSE WE’RE GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THERE WE’RE GONNA GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND
Quote Retweet:
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
everytime h*llandry comes up i think about the time shane got cancelled on tumblr for being bad at making women cum
di 🦌 @shanedoe
thank god the preseason is starting bc the people are bringing back shane cant eat pussy discourse
ilya’s thong @achilles81
ilya “canonical ass eater” rozanov vs. shane “cant eat pussy” hollander… i know my goat
↳ ezra @rozanot
what the actual fuck do you mean by canonical ass eater
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
sdkfjsdlkfj just one of roz’s ex hookups like three yrs ago tagged him on her insta and said “you can unfollow me but you can’t uneat my ass”
↳ ezra @rozanot
!!!! good for him i guess????
The Neutral Zone S02E13: Bag Skate, 54:25
Tyler Kudirka: Real quick before we go, any news on the Rozanov contract yet?
Denis Alderman: None at all. But his agent, Farah Jalali, already has a good working relationship with the Bears. I wouldn’t worry.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay. That’s what we’ve got for now, then. I’d like to thank our sponsors…
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov when I asked what he got up to this summer: “Ugh, I trained so hard, Julia. Ate terrible bird food. Took up bird watching also, I do not recommend it. No, Julia, I am very relaxed, very healthy. It will be a good season.”
↳ ˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
trying and struggling to imagine roz bird watching 😭
October
The Neutral Zone S02E17: Opening Night, 03:37
Tyler Kudirka: Well, the season is off to a bang, Denis.
Denis Alderman: It sure is, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: You know, I wondered if Hollander would be a little slow to start after having his postseason and summer disrupted, but I think it’s safe to say he’s in fine form.
Denis Alderman: Five points in the season opener is quite a statement.
Tyler Kudirka: And yet every time I think we’ve found the winner of the Hollander-Rozanov debate, Rozanov always finds a way to answer.
Denis Alderman: He really does! Starting the season with a hat trick, leading the league in goals while Hollander leads in points…
Tyler Kudirka: They’re pretty remarkable.
Denis Alderman: It's going to be a fun season here, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: For those of us watching, certainly. For the Ottawa Centaurs on the other hand…
Denis Alderman: Yeah, a tough start. Losing 7-0 is not how you want to set the tone for the season, even if it’s against an excellent team like Montreal.
Tyler Kudirka: Maybe it’s too early for this, Denis, but I’m not sure the whole Dillon-at-center thing is going to work.
Denis Alderman: Yeah, I don’t think I’d have much more patience for that experiment.
Tyler Kudirka: Right? God, the Centaurs are in a tough spot though, because who’s replacing him at center? Jorgenson? Surely at some point, we’d like to see Zane Boodram play to his full potential. If you put Boodram on, I dunno, Rozanov’s left wing, he’d probably put up 80 points a season.
Denis Alderman: With Rozanov, could hit a hundred.
Tyler Kudirka: Exactly. Look, we know a rebuild takes time. But this one’s been going for, what, seven years? At some point, guys are going to start thinking about greener pastures.
Denis Alderman: Sure. And I do think patience is beginning to wear thin in the Centaurs organization. But it’s opening night, there will be time for this conversation another 81 times before the season is through.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s true. Okay. Alright, then let’s move over to a happier team. Last night the New York Admirals raised their fifth banner in Madison Square Garden, the first in twenty-three years.
Denis Alderman: Yes, you know they’re excited to have something of pride to hang in MSG again.
Tyler Kudirka: Proud night for hockey in New York City in more ways than one.
Denis Alderman: That’s—ha! I walked right into that. Yes, yeah, all kinds of pride. Congratulations again to the New York Admirals.
cens sicko @bywardbood
if bood leaves i will report the cens to csis as a terrorist organization
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
[lying] i didnt think dilly was THAT bad at center…
Montréal Voyageurs ☑️ @VoyageursMTL
Touching down in the City of Angels for our first road trip of the season!
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
shane and rose finally confirmed to be in the same city again… hollandry breathe challenge about to be passed with flying colours!
laurie @hollypike
i am calm i am normal the actions of celebrities have no impact on me
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
Shane and Rose spotted getting coffee after Voyageurs practice today!
↳ Mandy @mandyskates
Love them!
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
okay so maybe i was wrong about the breakup…
laurie @hollypike
GIRL FUCKING WHATEVERRRRRRRRR
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
what and now two gay people can’t get coffee together? they have to be fucking?
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
Rose is at Shane’s game tonight! Fans have spotted her in the lower bowl. Sounds like no jersey this time but she has a Voyageurs hat 🤗😍
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
shane give me one chance I’LL wear your jersey to every game 😳
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
Rose is apparently going to be interviewed on the Sports Centre broadcast 😊
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
oh.
laurie @hollypike
WAIT WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
“shane is one of my best friends” I LOVE IT HERE
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
I HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
Quote Retweet:
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
okay so maybe i was wrong about the breakup…
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
WE’RE FREE WE’RE FREE
(closed) @hollandryupdates
guys i think i’m going to be taking a break for a little while…
jock strapped @shilya
coming clean and admitting to you all that i hired an etsy witch to make this happen
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
dude????
↳ jock strapped @shilya
there was a new years sale and i wanted them to realize that they’re incompatible (both gay)
di 🦌 @shanedoe
will i be cancelled for saying i kind of enjoyed the hollandry era? like i dont care about their relationship but i liked being able to tell my non-hockey friends abt shaney :(
ilya’s thong @achilles81
rose landry if u want to receive good head and are interested in experimenting with women pls let me know 🙏
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
not cleaning up shane hollander’s sloppy seconds
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
he didn’t know what to do with all that but i do!!!!!
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Today on the #NeutralZonePod: We’re talking Houston’s win streak, more Carolina trade rumours, and the Vaughan suspension.
↳ Mandy @mandyskates
nothing on the hollandry breakup?
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
@mandyskates Respectfully, we’re just not that kind of show. Wishing them both the best though!
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
#FreeCarterVaughan he did nothing wrong!!!
↳ Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
When is Rozanov re-signing?
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
@bostonbrian No updates right now! But there’s still lots of time.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
you can always tell the bears are playing the admirals because without fail roz posts a dinosaur on his story.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
more hockey players should be cunty
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on chatting with Hunter during warm-up: “I think he was very brave in June. I told him this also at the NHL Awards, but at his age, memory is only so-so. Need to make sure he knows that when we beat his team, it is not because he is gay. It is because we are better than them.”
↳ joey 🌈 @21hunts
i hate this guy so bad but at least he’s an ally i guess
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
Big win in the Big Apple! 5-1 Bears!
November
celeste @celestielle
apartment hunting today and saw this gorgeous place in the plateau that was fully furnished etc but on god the last person who lived there was some kind of freak i’ve never seen that much lube outside of a drug store
↳ laurie @hollypike
oh my god 😭 just out in the open??
↳ celeste @celestielle
no in the bathroom cabinet. im nosy
vic hates hockey @censeless
i bet on losing dogs: the ottawa centaurs story
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
my non-ottawa oomfs are tuning into hollanov bowl and i’m about to watch the centaurs lose their ninth game in a row
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
all we do is suffer
jock strapped @shilya
hollanov nation its our time
ilya’s thong @achilles81
HIT THAT TWINK AGAIN ROZ
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
roz scoring and then holly immediately tying the game ooooooh they’re so fun
margo @shanebortion
i do think holly and roz should consider having gay sex with each other. maybe they’d be less stressed about the whole rivalry thing
gay jess @pikesbian
↳ oomf u are so unserious
ezra @rozanot
i would never give credit to h*llonov fans but there is something pathological about the way roz loves to wink at that man
cens sicko @bywardbood
tanner dillon’s never seen a faceoff he can’t lose
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
and what’s worse is that like i GUESS jorgenson would be an improvement but they’d still be the centaurs
gay jess @pikesbian
HAYDEN GOAL MY BEST FRIEND HAYDEN PIKE GOAL
↳ laurie @hollypike
assisted by shane well yes that’s his husband
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
MARLY SNIPE YESSSS
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
the celly after oh roz loves him so bad im SICK
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
everyone talking about the bears-voyageurs game being fun and exciting and meanwhile i’m watching…. this…..
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i guess i should count my blessings… we’re not winning but at least calgary aren’t either…
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
fifty minutes of scoreless hockey should be against the geneva convention probably
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
#BOSvMTL and #OTTvCGY are both going to overtime but the vibes couldn’t be more different… two utter juggernauts battling it out, and, just down the highway, two peewee teams who both seem reluctant to play anything resembling hockey
di 🦌 @shanedoe
HOLLY!!!!!!!!!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander wins it in overtime for the Voyageurs, final score of 3-2. The NHL’s best on display here tonight.
vic hates hockey @censeless
0-0 game going to shootout like jesus does nobody want to win???
cens sicko @bywardbood
BOOD SHOOTOUT GOAL A WIN IS A WIN
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
And Ottawa win their first in nine games in the shootout, final score 1-0. Calgary will want to shake this one off quickly before their game in Toronto tomorrow.
The Neutral Zone S02E27: No Shade November, 31:22
Denis Alderman: …And so all of this to say, we’re very happy to see Ottawa break their losing streak, even if the game doesn’t really mark a change in their play.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah, kind of hard to call it a victory, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. Okay, enough of Ottawa-Calgary, I don’t think anyone wants to think about that game ever again. Our scoring leaders, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander met last night.
Denis Alderman: I hear the Bears and Voyageurs were there too.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure, sure, but they’re not ten points ahead of the rest of the field, are they?
Denis Alderman: [laughs] No. No, as ever, it’s Hollander and Rozanov leading the charge.
Tyler Kudirka: Two goals for Hollander, two points for Rozanov… Has Rozanov gone a single game without recording a point so far?
Denis Alderman: Not yet, but it’s only November.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s a guy who’s playing himself into a big contract, eh?
Denis Alderman: He seems to be. Although, if this is a conversation we want to have today—
Tyler Kudirka: By all means!
Denis Alderman: —I haven’t gotten the sense that Rozanov’s camp have been very receptive to offers just yet.
Tyler Kudirka: Are they relying on Rozanov’s play as a negotiation tactic, or is there interest in testing free agency?
Denis Alderman: I think they’re open to it. I’m not hearing a lot, and obviously Rozanov’s camp can’t talk to other teams before July, but enough rumours go around that you can get a sense for who might be interested, and I think they’re at least curious.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. I mean, they could listen to this show, for one.
Denis Alderman: [laughs] That’s true!
Tyler Kudirka: So they’re keeping their options open right now.
Denis Alderman: They are.
ezra @rozanot
………roz wouldn’t really leave, right?
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
rozy literally said boston was home in that espn piece about his cars last year, he’s not going anywhere. can we stop catastrophizing
ilya’s thong @achilles81
that one oomf in law who’s so patronising so now i wanna catastrophize… HE’S GOING TO HOUSTON HE WANTS TO RAISE CATTLE 🤠
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
club rat roz secretly longs to be a rancher: fact checked TRUE ✅
vic hates hockey @censeless
and when r*zanov signs in ottawa for his muskoka girl what then
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
the idea that he would come to ottawa rather than toronto 😭😭
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
they have fucking dallas kent WE are the ones who need a center 🤪
December
yejin @anticottagecore
saw jeep guy at the ottawa airport… likely place for him to be
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
anyone else notice that roz wasn’t at dubek’s for christmas this year? all the other european players were and he’s always there :( they always make him wear one of those stupid paper crowns :(
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
he’s probably spending the holiday with his gf and her family ☺️
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
………..based on literally what
↳ ezra @rozanot
like it gets to a point…
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
The Bears are back in action after the holiday break in Ottawa tonight! Catch us on ESPN at 8pm EST.
vic hates hockey @censeless
oomf meet up with @kanatacommunist at the cens game tonight!
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
😈😈
vic hates hockey @censeless
wait
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
omg vic and i just met shane hollander’s parents!! they were super nice omg
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
omg what
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
they were ahead of us in line for food in the lower concourse!
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
wonder why they’re at this game bc shane isnt even here lmao but ig they live in ottawa
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
yeah they’re always here when montreal are in town but idk i guess they support the home team too sometimes :)
cens sicko @bywardbood
i love hockey i hope bood gets a dick trick
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
he hasn’t even scored one and it’s the end of the 2nd
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
i said hope
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
That’s a win in Ottawa! 4-1 Bears!
cens sicko @bywardbood
well at least he scored one
little apple 🧃 @vaughany
this season has been lowkey so exhausting like some games are so much rougher than usual and We All Know Why like vaughany had what, two career fights before this year? scott had four? and the league doesn’t do shit about it
↳ joey 🌈 @21hunts
yeah i mean i was worried it would be worse but god i cant imagine how scott is handling it
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
i just hope fucking hollander doesnt start shit with scotty again today
di 🦌 @shanedoe
shane talking to scott hunter in warmies he’s my sweetie boy 💝
margo @shanebortion
shane is so funny he literally tried to fight this man like four years ago but he has to be an Ally now
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
yes definitely he’s Just An Ally 👀
↳ margo @shanebortion
Well…
little apple 🧃 @vaughany
okay fine hollander gets to keep his ally card
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
scott/shane u will always be famous 2 me
January 2018
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
When asked about what’s different this season, Ilya Rozanov said: “Everyone wants to hear about a summer routine, workouts, diet, and yes, okay, I put on like eight pounds, but mostly I think I am just playing more free. Things aren’t so messy in my head this year.”
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Marlow adds: “Roz won’t tell you this, but he also quit smoking.” Lots of affectionate ribbing for the captain!
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
HE’S PLAYING MORE FREE OHHHHH I LOVE MY BOY 💛
★pri★ @bostonroz
god i thought he looked beefier but eight pounds… swooning like a victorian maiden rn
↳ ezra @rozanot
i did say i thought his pecs were looking extra juicy
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander after practice in Boston today: “Yeah, of course I look forward to these games. Rozanov is obviously such a competitor. It’s fun to match up against him. Apparently he stopped smoking this year, so maybe out-skating him will finally be a challenge.”
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
!!!! HOLLY CHIRPING ROZ BACK???? I LOVE THIS TIMELINE!!!!!!!!!!
ilya’s thong @achilles81
okay since when was hollander funny
gay jess @pikesbian
ohhhh i love when holly is mean we get him so rarely but i love his bitchy ass 💕
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
lowkey kind of think it’s weird to be rude about someone beating addiction
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Totally out of line from Hollander.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Want to add some context - Don’t think there’s any more than the usual animosity between Hollander and Rozanov. It’s lonely at the top, but those two have been in the league together a long time. No need to pick over jokes between a couple of guys.
↳ Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Not really a joking matter.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
I think there’s a lot of people making a big deal out of a joke that Rozanov himself didn’t mind when Marlow said it. Obviously the context of their relationship is different, but Hollander probably knows where the line is between them better than the rest of us.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
If we want players to show more personality in the media, we can’t immediately take it in poor faith and get mad when they do. Rozanov has always been larger than life - shouldn’t we be excited to see him bring it out in others?
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander after morning skate today: “Look, I want to clarify my comments from yesterday. I have tremendous respect for Rozanov as a competitor. I know what it takes to perform at this level and with this degree of consistency. I’m always glad to see Rozanov perform well because it drives me to be better. I obviously admire his strength and perseverance in shaking a habit like that.”
↳ Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Not impressed.
margo @shanebortion
oh my godddddd i cant believe you all made him apologize
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
let! holly! be! mean!
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
rozanov talks shit for YEARSSSSSSS and shane gets one shot in and you all dogpile him ugh
John @reddeerpatriot
Guys chirp. Don’t know what soft bullshit this league is coming to if Hollander has to apologize for that.
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
okay so That’s not the take.
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on Hollander’s comments yesterday: “You see! Hollander is an asshole! I have told people this, but no one ever believes me, they just think he is a sweet Canadian boy who has never done anything wrong. I could not be rivals with someone who cannot give it as good as he takes it.” 1/2
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
“You tell Hollander, he is not allowed to apologize, otherwise I am the only asshole again. The rivalry is no fun if it is one-sided. Besides, if no one nags me, maybe I will smoke again.” 2/2
margo @shanebortion
SEEE!!!!!!
ezra @rozanot
the way roz is delighted ohhh im obsessed with him
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
roz grinning and clutching his heart lskdjflskdjf that’s his boy!!!! that’s his boy!!!!
↳ jock strapped @shilya
literally!!!! he likes him so much!!!!
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
A win for the good guys! Bears beat the Voyageurs 3-1 tonight in Boston.
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on the win and his own two goal performance: “Well, I assume this is why Hollander, what did he say? Respects me as a competitor, yes? I am just trying to live up to his expectations. So he can admire me.”
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
oh i love this bitch so bad
laurie @hollypike
i really really hate to give it to rozanov but he is unfortunately funny
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
the beauty of hollanov is that it never dies. those bitches remain obsessed with each other
February
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
On the #NeutralZonePod today: Hiring and firing, injury central in LA, and reviewing the All Star Game selections.
The Neutral Zone S02E50: Drilling Deep, 10:48
Tyler Kudirka: Now, we oughta talk about Ottawa.
Denis Alderman: It is that time, yes. The Ottawa Centaurs have made a change in the front office, firing General Manager Todd Pelletier and hiring on Rodney Murray as interim GM.
Tyler Kudirka: A long time coming, this change.
Denis Alderman: I think so. Obviously, we all had our doubts about the Dillon acquisition this summer, but it’s really not turned out the way anyone in Ottawa hoped.
Tyler Kudirka: No. No, certainly not. Do we think the Dillon at center experiment is finally over?
Denis Alderman: Well… I mean, probably. Obviously, that’s partially a coaching decision, but I’ve heard that Graham has been ready to move Dillon back to wing for a while.
Tyler Kudirka: You kind of feel bad for the guy, Dillon, you know, to have all this pressure of a big trade and to be put in a difficult position and just allowed to fail repeatedly.
Denis Alderman: Definitely a tough situation.
Tyler Kudirka: Here’s something else to consider: we’re a month out from the trade deadline. Tricky timing for a new GM to come in now.
Denis Alderman: It sure is, Tyler. But obviously the ownership group have faith in Rodney Murray, he was GM in Arizona for a few years during their rebuild, and then assistant GM here. And, maybe more significantly, they weren’t willing to trust Pelletier with another deadline. If that’s the case, you have to pull the plug.
Tyler Kudirka: Are we expecting a conservative deadline from the Centaurs then?
Denis Alderman: Well, they’re in a position to be sellers, obviously. Down at the bottom of the league, in the trenches of a rebuild, they want picks and prospects, not win-now guys. So I think we will see some movement. And they might be on the lookout themselves to patch some of their own holes, you know, make a hockey trade and get a useful piece back.
Tyler Kudirka: Find themselves a center, for one.
Denis Alderman: Well, we’ll see how Jorgenson fills in on the first line, but that might be what they’re looking for. Not a lot of contenders looking to ship out young centers, but you never know. And Murray is good at making magic beans look like they’re worth more than they are, sometimes. So, I think this is good for the Centaurs.
Tyler Kudirka: It can hardly be worse. Okay, speaking of staffing changes, Columbus have fired their coach…
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
WE’RE FREE!!!!! GOODBYE FOREVER PELLETIER YOU STUPID BITCH!!!
vic hates hockey @censeless
i know tanner dillon is weeping with joy that he doesnt have to try to play center anymore
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
meanwhile bood is popping bottles bc he gets a real center
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Ahead of the All-Star Game in Boston this weekend, I sat down with Ilya Rozanov to talk about what he loves about this city, what it’s like to play the best hockey of his career, and what comes next. bit.ly/203948
˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
i love julia’s work but the article was so vague abt whether roz is going to extend in boston :(
↳ Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Thanks for the love! Unfortunately, there’s not a lot more to say. Rozanov quietly keeps a lot close to his chest, and the contract situation seems to be one of those things. Which could mean it’s close and he doesn’t want to compromise the negotiations, or it could mean something else.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
totally fair! just wish there was more to know haha. appreciate your work!
ezra @rozanot
roz’s favorite place in boston is the duckling statues in the public garden…. why is this 6’3 russian man giving me cuteness aggression
jock strapped @shilya
every year the asg is like Yes the skills comp is nearly unwatchable However! every once and a while the camera will find hollanov talking to other people and sneakily glaring at each other
jock strapped @shilya
actually i take this back because they’re not glaring this year.
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
2017 was healing they’re friends now
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
nvm they’re glaring again
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Hollander, after the skills comp: “Yeah, it’s been a great event so far. Everyone’s been really nice. Thanks to the Bears organization, of course … Yeah, Rozanov has been very welcoming. I haven’t been to see the ducklings, no.”
↳ di 🦌@shanedoe
he’s soooooooooooo. i need to eat him.
Chapter End Notes
:3
chapter 2 will be up tomorrow it’s done i promiseeeealso if u kno where the cant uneat my ass line is from then we are bonded for life
Chapter 2: March - August 2018
Chapter Summary
ezra @rozanot
guys. guys. guys dont tell me this is his last game as a bear
ezra @rozanot
I WILL LITERALLY WALK INTO THE OCEANcarmy’s wife @carmichaels
guys ik why he’s leaving…↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
what are we gonna be wrong about this time
Chapter Notes
thank u for the lovely response so far u are all so appreciated <3 MWAH
as you can probably tell, i have many thoughts about this particular season and we are continuing through the weeds of them now! i’d kind of love to write a companion for this at some point, but no promises.hockey term glossary again if u need it
March 2018
The Neutral Zone S02E58: Tee Party, 37:22
Tyler Kudirka: Alright, and now, the last of our potential buyers: the Boston Bears. What are you hearing here Denis?
Denis Alderman: Well, obviously they’ve been excellent all season. They’re pretty complete top to bottom, in my opinion. I’ve heard there’s some interest in centers–
Tyler Kudirka: Centers? They have some of the best center depth in the league. Rozanov, Johansson, Cadyn, Davis; even Mustafin in the AHL. What are they doing looking for more?
Denis Alderman: I think some of it is uncertainty around Johansson’s injury history, but more than that— look, this is pure speculation on my part. But the Bears have been very tight lipped about the Rozanov extension in the past few weeks. And so have Rozanov’s camp.
Tyler Kudirka: Oh boy, you don’t think…
Denis Alderman: I wonder if the Bears are exploring some… precautionary disaster planning. Not because they think a departure is inevitable, but because they want to be prepared. If Rozanov looks elsewhere in free agency, it’s hard to imagine the Bears not taking a step back, but they’re thinking about how to mitigate that.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. Do you think they’ll make a move at the deadline, then?
Denis Alderman: I think it’s unlikely. For one, they’re not going to move off Rozanov. They’re going to keep ringing that phone line till the ink is dry on a contract, whether with Boston or elsewhere.
Tyler Kudirka: Of course.
Denis Alderman: If there are holes in the lineup that need patching, and that’s a big if, they’ll do it in the summer once the ship has sailed. But that being said, if there was a good player available who could bolster their lineup now, and if the asking price wasn’t too high, they’d have to think about it.
Tyler Kudirka: The Bears know how to protect themselves.
Denis Alderman: They do. And, as it stands, I do think they have enough good pieces to avoid a total rebuild if they do lose Rozanov.
Tyler Kudirka: Oh, absolutely. Obviously Roz is at the head of this steam roller of a team, but there’s magic up and down the line up. I guess then the question is whether there will be centers available at the deadline?
Denis Alderman: A few, but probably not enough to go round.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. Hornak in Buffalo, Kiska, Morisson. Maybe Jorgenson from Ottawa could be a fit? Slot him in on the second line, move Johansson up?
Denis Alderman: He’s played well for Ottawa, but I think they want more for him than Boston would be willing to spend.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. You think Pittsburgh might be willing to move off Friesen?
Denis Alderman: They’d probably want players back, shore up that defence. I don’t expect the Bears want to mess with their chemistry right now. Look, there are options, there are maybes, but I don’t think we see a move till summer, and even then, only if it’s needed.
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
obviously i don’t want roz to leave but it would suck so bad to lose him for nothing in free agency… like if the bears know he’s not staying shouldn’t they move him?
Joe Scarpellini ☑️ @InsideScarpellini
Hearing the Centaurs are taking calls from Minnesota and Philadelphia on Jorgenson and possibly others.
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i hope we don’t trade dilly 🤪🤪
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
@kanatacommunist you and i both know that mfer is regretfully safe
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Brent Watson on the move again. Headed to Houston for a 2018 2nd and a 2019 4th.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Oskar Jorgenson acquired by Houston Drillers as well. Return is Frank Farrier and a 2018 2nd.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Nice little upgrade at third line center for the Drillers. Obviously, Centaurs are committed to the tank.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
And that’s the deadline folks! No big surprises in the end. I’m told the Bears took a long look at Morrison, but ultimately the asking price was too high.
vic hates hockey @censeless
i hate the trade deadline what do you mean we got like three weeks of jorgy on the first line and now he’s off to houston and we’re stuck with FUCKING TANNER DILLON AT CENTER AGAIN
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
like this shit is going to be genuinely unwatchable
celeste @celestielle
getting takeout and r*zanov is there. okay
↳ laurie @hollypike
wtf the bears aren’t supposed to be in montreal till tuesday, they still have to play ottawa tomorrow
↳ celeste @celestielle
i am a simple woman reporting the truth: roz is poorly disguised and picking up takeout at my favourite vegan restaurant in montreal
laurie @hollypike
electing to ignore this situation.
laurie @hollypike
Whatever. the point of being a shayden enjoyer is that they're actually friends who care abt each other, not reaching for moments between two guys who don't even like each other
Montréal Voyageurs ☑️ @VoyageursMTL
TOUR DU CHAPEAU HOLLY!
HOLLY HAT TRICK!
jock strapped @shilya
holly always plays so well when he’s just gotten dicked down 😌
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
you joke but statistically he’s excellent after bears games
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Voyageurs fall 4-3 to the Bears in overtime, despite Hollander’s heroics
margo @shanebortion
comeau masterclass 🤪
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
he did totally blow that change in ot but to be fair he’s usually responsible
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
bears win AND roz and marly goals oh i love it here 💖
April
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov ahead of tonight’s game against Ottawa: “There are no easy games in this league. Every team is full of NHL players. The Centaurs are not where we are, they are still growing. But we take all our opponents seriously, even in April, even when they are 30th in the league.”
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
why tf is roz being nice
ezra @rozanot
i like that roz looks sort of offended that he has to take a faceoff against tanner dillon at all
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
he’s not wrong, it is offensive
vic hates hockey @censeless
oomf turning on dilly???
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i have never said he was good at hockey, i just think his fail boy aura is kind of sexy
cens sicko @bywardbood
deeply curious about what on earth bood and rozanov were talking about during that stoppage
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
Starting the homestand with a WIN! 6-2 over the Ottawa Centaurs
vic hates hockey @censeless
feeling 6-2 my stomach 🤢
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
New episode of the #NeutralZonePod out now! We’re talking about the Philadelphia situation, Las Vegas’ ten goal game, the J.J. Boiziau injury, and, very briefly, the Rozanov extension.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
lowkey scared…
↳ margo @shanebortion
if my bff jj is out for the rest of the season i WILL crash out
The Neutral Zone S02E71: That Good Knight, 51:22
Tyler Kudirka: And last but certainly not least tonight–
Denis Alderman: Appointment viewing, I think.
Tyler Kudirka: –it’s the last regular season matchup between Montreal and Boston.
Denis Alderman: Hollander vs. Rozanov.
Tyler Kudirka: I wanted to ask, actually, real quick… Is there an update on a potential Rozanov extension?
Denis Alderman: Oof, you couldn’t give me a soft ball at the end of the episode?
Tyler Kudirka: Sorry. But we’ve not really talked about this since the deadline, and back then there seemed to be a lot of secrecy, and maybe that’s still the case. But the people want to know if there’s a chance of Rozanov extending before the playoffs, or if this is just going to be an off-season question.
Denis Alderman: [sighs] There’s always a chance, with the speed at which the Bears do business. But the walls are still up in Boston. What little I’m hearing… Nothing is certain yet, and what I am hearing is so unsure that I don’t feel comfortable repeating it on the pod just yet, but I don’t think we’ll see movement on that contract before June, no.
Tyler Kudirka: We’ve really not had a lot of discussion about what the hang up is here. Any insight?
Denis Alderman: Not really. Both the Bears and Rozanov’s camp are being very opaque about the situation. And Rozanov is, well, an expressive guy, but not a particularly open one in my experience. I think his teammates are as much in the dark as we are.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay. Not the news Bears fans wanted to hear, I’m sure, but there’s the answer nonetheless. You can tune into the Bears versus Voyageurs game on Sports Centre at 7 o’clock Eastern time tonight.
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
DUBER!!
Dubek puts us up 1-0 with assists from Rozanov and Marlow
★pri★ @bostonroz
ROZ FIGHT ROZ FIGHT ROZ FIGHT
ezra @rozanot
ohhhh i love when he’s feral and sexy
ilya’s thong @achilles81
men should be bloody more often
laurie @hollypike
im not even mad bc its always morally correct to fight gilbert comeau
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
whys holly lowkey turned on
↳ jock strapped @shilya
he wants roz carnally
di 🦌 @shanedoe
HOLLY GOAL ☺️☺️
margo @shanebortion
(just making shit up) holly always scores when he’s horny
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
and thats why he and hayden have combined for more than 100 goals
↳ margo @shanebortion
i love u but hayden pike is the straightest man alive
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
noticing u didnt call holly straight
↳ margo @shanebortion
well im not stupid
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
Rozanov scores! That’s a Gordie Howe hat trick for the captain!
Montréal Voyageurs ☑️ @VoyageursMTL
Gagné! Win!
4-2 over the Boston Bears
The Neutral Zone S02E68: Countdown, 39:56
Tyler Kudirka: And lastly— look, the regular season is almost over, playoff matchups are set, and we’ll do proper series previews next week.
Denis Alderman: Right. What are you springing on me, Tyler?
Tyler Kudirka: Rapid fire playoff picks.
Denis Alderman: Oh boy, I better be sharp. Okay, let’s have it.
Tyler Kudirka: Starting out east, Atlantic division. Boston versus Toronto, who takes it?
Denis Alderman: That’ll be a chippy one.
Tyler Kudirka: For sure. Two teams who don’t like each other.
Denis Alderman: Not at all. Well, gotta be Boston. The way they’ve played this season, and they’re the higher seed, yeah, no need to overthink that.
Tyler Kudirka: Agreed. Alright, second Atlantic division match up, second and third place respectively, New Jersey and Montreal.
Denis Alderman: Ooh, that’s trickier.
Tyler Kudirka: Montreal have the pedigree, but New Jersey have been knocking at the door for a few years here, they have home ice, they’ve gotta break through some time.
Denis Alderman: It’s just hard to argue with Hollander this year
Tyler Kudirka: And every year.
Denis Alderman: Well, sure. And the Voyageurs should have Boiziau back in time for game one.
Tyler Kudirka: Back as in the ankle will be healed, or back as in they need him so he’ll skate on it regardless?
Denis Alderman: I’m hearing healed. Maybe some lingering conditioning and pain management concerns, but Boiziau’s main value isn’t really speed anyway.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure. Sounds to me like you’re leaning Montreal.
Denis Alderman: You know, Tyler, I think I am. If only because I’d love to see another Montreal-Boston series.
Tyler Kudirka: Already thinking ahead to the second round, huh? 2016 was too long ago?
Denis Alderman: I could use the refresher, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: Hah. Sure, and that would be something to see. That being said, I think I have to go New Jersey.
Denis Alderman: Yeah?
Tyler Kudirka: I think we’re getting to the point where it’s do or die for them, and I don’t see Liam Jones giving up the ghost that easy.
Denis Alderman: And that’s fair enough.
Tyler Kudirka: Alright, moving over to the Metropolitan division, we have Washington and Philadelphia facing off…
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
The Bears have looked dominant through the first two games, but Toronto have spirit. They say a series isn’t over till you lose at home.
Montréal Voyageurs ☑️ @VoyageursMTL
Back at the Bell! Your Montréal Voyageurs look to pull ahead in Game 3 tonight!
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i think im supposed to miss cens hockey but i dont
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
why would i miss cens hockey when i can watch ilya rozanov and cliff marlow personally murder dallas kent and his band of dickheads
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
that’s so real because i dont usually like roz but anyone who destroys the guardians is my friend
★pri★ @bostonroz
it’s wild that we havent seen sv/etlana in a wag jacket once. roz’s commitment issues going crazy
↳ilya’s thong @achilles81
i mean they might not be together
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
maybe but hes gotta be with someone bc theres no way he took a vow of celibacy
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
i want to say he’d be a cute monk but i’d be lying
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Montreal beat New Jersey with a decisive 3-0 victory and take a 2-1 series lead.
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
The Bears blow out the Toronto Guardians 7-0 in Game 3. Tune in Thursday to see if the Bears can complete the sweep or if we’re heading back to Boston.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
#NHLDraftLottery happening now on Sports Centre!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
After finishing 28th, the Ottawa Centaurs move up two spots in the draft lottery and will pick second in July.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
2018 is projected to be a strong draft. Any team in the top three should come away with a potential All Star. This could be huge for the Cens rebuild.
cens sicko @bywardbood
THINGS FINALLY COMING UP CENS???
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
lowkey is the decade of hell over…? are we…so up?
vic hates hockey @censeless
watch them pick some fuckass nobody who’s projected to go like fifteenth 🙄
The Neutral Zone S02E74: Golden Gate Goal, 26:44
Denis Alderman: But all of this to say, I’m sure we’ll get some more insight on the Guardians after locker room clean out.
Tyler Kudirka: For sure. You know what I think they need to take from this series though?
Denis Alderman: What are they missing?
Tyler Kudirka: They need to get tougher.
Denis Alderman: [sighs] Yeah.
Tyler Kudirka: Dallas Kent is an agitator, and guys like that have a place in the game, but when you’re seeing the same team in a series format and chirping them night in and night out without the muscle to back it up, you might lose some teeth.
Denis Alderman: I hear ya. Maybe it’s time for Ryan Price to be on the move again, eh?
Tyler Kudirka: Maybe, because the only guys paying the price out there were the Guardians.
Denis Alderman: They held their own in Game Four. But, obviously, if you can only win one game of five, that’s not good enough.
Tyler Kudirka: Exactly. Okay, that’s Guardians-Bears, now we turn our eyes to Montreal and New Jersey. The Voyageurs had the opportunity to close it out last night, didn’t do it, but now they’re heading back to Montreal. What do you think, Denis? Does the series end in six, or will New Jersey drag this thing to seven?
Denis Alderman: I think the Voyageurs will close it out at home. They’ve been in every game this series–
Tyler Kudirka: It’s hard to call a 6-2 loss being in the game, but somehow I do know what you mean.
Denis Alderman: Look it was– it was undisciplined, certainly. The frustration boiled over in the third. But the Voyageurs had a shot.
Tyler Kudirka: Forty seven shots, to be precise. Honestly, I didn’t stop believing they could come back till New Jersey scored their second empty netter. So you think it’s Voyageurs in six? We’re not going to see another generational night from Burchfield in net?
Denis Alderman: [laughing] He was excellent. But I don’t think anyone expects another forty-five save night from Chris Burchfield, no. I’m still leaning Voyageurs in six.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
The Voyageurs take Game Six! The second round will feature Hollander vs. Rozanov for the third time in their careers.
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
and it is all about them 😌
May
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov ahead of Game 4: “Montreal fans are always a part of it, yes, but a loud crowd is motivation more than scare tactic, you know? We’re going to win this game, and then win two more. We have loud fans too.”
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
ohhh roz does love us doesnt he 💕
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
has anyone else noticed that roz and holly have talked to each other during warmies like every game this season…
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
genuinely i think they became friends at the 2017 asg
↳ xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
lowkey i think you’re right… they’re so cute :(
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
are we ever gonna talk about the fact that shane started following roz on insta over the summer and none of us noticed
↳ jock strapped @shilya
did roz follow him back?
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
roz has followed shane on insta more or less since he created his account in 2012
↳ margo @shanebortion
jesus
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Bears defeat the Voyageurs in Game 7, 2-1. Might be one of the best series we see all playoffs.
jock strapped @shilya
that h*llanov hand shake was so intense what the hell
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
like i didnt know you were allowed to have sexual tension on the ice
↳ jock strapped @shilya
forget the sexual tension there was YEARNING
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander on the loss: “They’re a good team. They’re a really good team. Just complete, top to bottom. … For my money, that’s the best first line in hockey. They read each other so well, trust each other, play so tight. Obviously we did our best, but theirs was better.”
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
You can tell Hollander has so much humility and respect for his opponents. Hard to imagine how he could have played a better game, but the captain wears the loss for the whole team.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
New #NeutralZonePod today: Previewing Boston vs. Philly, a Matheson injury update, and coaching drama in LA.
ezra @rozanot
sitting at a red light. look over at the jeep beside me. it’s shane hollander.
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
um wtf
↳ ezra @rozanot
i wonder if he’s in town for a sponsorship thing?
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
what you dont think he fell in love with beautiful new england at the asg?
↳ ezra @rozanot
in february??
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
BEARS W!! Series tied 2-2!
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov after Game 4: “You always want to get the split on the road. I thought we played well, worked hard. And now we go home to Boston. It’s a three game series now. We love to win in Boston.”
The Neutral Zone S02E82: Wicked Watson, 40:27
Tyler Kudirka: Now, Denis, we have to talk about Ilya Rozanov’s ankle.
Denis Alderman: Yeah, oof. Look, obviously the team is being incredibly tight lipped about the whole thing.
Tyler Kudirka: Naturally.
Denis Alderman: I think we saw it give him some trouble there in the second period.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah, he was down the tunnel for a while. Looked like he tweaked it a bit after that hit from Karalis. But I kind of think it was pre-existing.
Denis Alderman: I agree. I wonder if it’s from the second round, even.
Tyler Kudirka: Oh wow, yeah, you think the scrap with Comeau?
Denis Alderman: I think he was favouring the left leg for the rest of that game, yeah. But last night seemed like it got worse.
Tyler Kudirka: Agreed. I guess the big question is, does he play tomorrow, and if so, will he be at full capacity?
Denis Alderman: I don’t think there’s anything in the world that could prevent Ilya Rozanov from playing in Game 7 of the Conference Finals.
Tyler Kudirka: Ha, no, not a chance.
Denis Alderman: As for capacity… Look, Rozanov is a tough player. He’s played through a lot before. He’d run through a wall for these guys. He’s gonna play to his fullest.
Tyler Kudirka: Hard to imagine him doing anything else. Okay. Any word on if Sebbin will be available?
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Game 7 of #BOSvPHI starting on Sports Centre now!
ezra @rozanot
ROZ GOAL LESS THAN A MINUTE IN OH HES SO FUCKING SICK
ilya’s thong @achilles81
THAT SHIT WAS SO NASTY
ilya’s thong @achilles81
i need to put a baby in him
jock strapped @shilya
fawkkkkkk philly i hate u i hate u i hate u
jock strapped @shilya
PHILLY I HATE U AGAIN!!!!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Philadelphia are up 3-2, but the Bears start the 3rd on the powerplay. Great opportunity to tie this game up.
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
oh my god just tie it. what if u guys just scored a goal. HEY. hey. what if you just scored 😬😬😬 pls pls pls pls pls
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
okay whatever who cares about the powerplay anyway
ilya’s thong @achilles81
ROZ MY PERFECT SEXY CLOWN THANK FUCK
★pri★ @bostonroz
SEXIEST GOAL OF HIS CAREER IM SO SERIOUS
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
ik shane is in heat rn
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
wtf does he have to do with this
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov goes end to end to tie it with a minute left and we’re going to over time!
ezra @rozanot
FUUUUUUUUUUCK
★pri★ @bostonroz
NOOOO OH MY GOD
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
OH MY GOD MY BEARS MY BOYS MY BABIES 😭😭😭
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
im sorry my angels 💔💔💔
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
calling the bears angels is so fucking funny. as though they arent like the biggest hardest hitting team in the fucking league SJSJSJSS
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
oh god roz looks so sad
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
IS HE CRYING????
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
NOOOOO MY SWEETIE 🧸😭
ilya’s thong @achilles81
roz tearing up on the ice WE ALL HAVE TO DIE
ezra @rozanot
guys. guys. guys dont tell me this is his last game as a bear
ezra @rozanot
I WILL LITERALLY WALK INTO THE OCEAN
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
I CANT DO THIS
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
the way he’s looking around the arena and taking in the crowd oh my god im going to THROW UP
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on Game 7: “We gave it our all. Every guy in this room gave everything he had. I can’t ask for more than that. Sometimes the bounces don’t go your way.”
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov ends the interview early with visible emotion. You can feel in the locker room that this team really believed. They’re still in shock.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
I NEED TO GO TAKE A NAP IN TRAFFIC
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov, when asked if he’s played his last game in Boston: “Things change, and sometimes end. I have loved being a Bear. There are many obligations at play, yes? Changing priorities. But I love this team and these fans, and nothing will change that.”
ezra @rozanot
god he’s really leaving isn’t he….
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
pretty fucked that he’s springing this on the team now
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
like we couldve got assets back for him
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Just plain selfishness on Rozanov’s part
ilya’s thong @achilles81
how tf is it selfish?? he almost won us another cup. would’ve, if he could. we weren’t going to get closer with someone else
John @reddeerpatriot
Another Greedy and Disloyal Russki… Hope the Money Keeps You Warm Buddy!
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
dude fuck you
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
he sounds so genuinely sad about leaving… my roz…
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
like i keep hoping he’ll change his mind but idk it seems like there’s a bigger reason than just free agency money
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
yeah💗 i just hope he’s alright
June
The Neutral Zone S02E84: The Jorgenson Effect, 37:51
Tyler Kudirka: Now, we’ve all heard Rozanov’s comments during locker room clean out. About obligations and changing priorities. It sounds to me like Rozanov has played his last game in the black and gold, and that he’s pretty certain about that.
Denis Alderman: Yes, although there’s a little bit more to it than that.
Tyler Kudirka: Oh?
Denis Alderman: What I have heard about the Rozanov situation, Tyler, is that Rozanov’s agent informed the Bears that he would not be re-signing in the beginning of January.
Tyler Kudirka: He– Before the trade deadline?
Denis Alderman: That’s correct. Now, it’s my understanding that the Bears hoped he might change his mind. They’re still talking to Rozanov’s agent, and will probably keep talking to her even after July 1st, but they knew very well that they might lose him for nothing if they didn’t move off him during the season.
Tyler Kudirka: Well, that does change some of the narrative.
Denis Alderman: At the very least, I think fans should understand that Rozanov has tried to depart as gracefully as possible. He wanted to do right by this team, and if their decision was to keep him as an own rental, that was fine.
Tyler Kudirka: God. I can’t even say the Bears were wrong to keep him either. The bounces go a little differently and they could very easily be preparing for Game 1 of the Finals right now.
Denis Alderman: Precisely. It’s– Look, it’ll be a hard break up, no two ways about it. There will be fans who are angry, and hurt, and who don’t understand.
Tyler Kudirka: I’m not even sure I understand. The reasoning, anyway.
Denis Alderman: Sure. And maybe that will become clearer in July. But I think… both parties here have approached each other with the respect and understanding that’s due. So we hope that tempers some of the hard feelings from the fan base.
★pri★ @bostonroz
FUCK HE’S REALLY GOING
ilya’s thong @achilles81
god. GOD. i cant believe we’re going to live in a world where roz isn’t a bear
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
like WHY would he leave tho?????
↳ ezra @rozanot
lowkey the bears probably can’t pay him as well as some others
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
@rozanot i guess :/ like ugh ik it’s shitty to want players to take a discount but the bears can still pay him decently and like… doesnt roz wanna win?
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
idk i think maybe there’s some other stuff going on when he talks about obligation
ilya’s thong @achilles81
so where’s the bitch who said he had a gf in boston
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
guys ik why he’s leaving…
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
what are we gonna be wrong about this time
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
on reddit there’s a rumor that apparently roz slept with zadonsky’s wife
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
oh my goddd okay First of all that rumor is from 2012 and Secondly its soo unsubstantiated like just bc she was liking his thirst traps DOESNT mean they actually slept together
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
i heard zaddy wanted to be in the cuck chair
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
@achilles81 ENOUGH!!!
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
what happened to my beautiful ethical slut roz rumors we used to be a proper country
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
On today’s #NeutralZonePod, we’re talking about Game 3 line brawls, NHL Awards predictions, and Rozanov rumours.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
oh my goddddd you guys are so fucking annoying tyler neutralzonepod is going to ask fucking denis alderman if roz is fucking his teammate’s wife
The Neutral Zone S02E86: Bombastic, 21:38
Tyler Kudirka: Now, we don’t like to peddle in rumours here on the Neutral Zone.
Denis Alderman: Tell me there aren’t more Shane Hollander and Rose Landry questions.
Tyler Kudirka: Ha! No. No, this is about the Rozanov departure.
Denis Alderman: Oh right, okay. The rumours about division in the room?
Tyler Kudirka: The very ones. Now, I’ll say right now, I’ve not heard anything to say that there’s conflict in the Boston locker room.
Denis Alderman: No, me neither. Look, we all know Rozanov is a… controversial figure.
Tyler Kudirka: Occasionally bombastic.
Denis Alderman: Great word! Yes. Gregarious, even.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure.
Denis Alderman: So, there are lots of guys in the league who don’t like him.
Tyler Kudirka: That we do know.
Denis Alderman: But this being said, his teammates unanimously love him.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s where I’m at too. No one has a bad thing to say about him as a teammate, even after leaving. As an opponent, he’s not so nice.
Denis Alderman: No. But that’s part of why he’s loved by his teammates and Boston fans.
Tyler Kudirka: So, definitively, a potential Rozanov departure would not be because of controversy or misconduct with teammates?
Denis Alderman: Not on Rozanov’s part, no. And I think if someone else was the problem, they’d be the one going.
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
SEEE!!!!!!
ezra @rozanot
okay but the z*donsky’s wife liking thirst traps thing was real. like that did happen i saw the insta activity myself 🥴
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
no ik me too…. the way she liked ten of them in one night… that shit was so messy
↳ ezra @rozanot
and then roz didn’t post a thirst trap for like two months after that SLKDFJSKJ
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Congratulations to the Houston Drillers on winning the 2018 Stanley Cup!
cens sicko @bywardbood
the team with two former centaurs winning the whole thing you know what fucking whatever
cens sicko @bywardbood
its like the team is poorly constructed but also we Have good players so we’re just also. coached terribly i guess
cens sicko @bywardbood
obviously im happy for watter but i do hate it here
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i s2g i just saw ir81 at the ottawa airport…. theres no way right
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
tired: hollanov real
wired: ir81 to the centaurs real
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Ilya Rozanov wins the 2018 Hart Memorial Trophy for Most Valuable Player. What a statement about his capacity to give to this team. What a loss for the Bears going forward.
Sports Centre ☑️ @SportsCentre
Short but sweet, Rozanov’s acceptance speech: “This is a team trophy. It does not happen without the Bears, the organization, and my brothers, thank you. Always. And I could not win this without–without my family. You have always made me want to be better. I hope I am worthy of you. Thank you. I love you.”
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
roz is like. god there’s just no one like him.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
my beautiful unknowable princess boy
↳ xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
his inexplicable aura of tragedy is so compelling when you can catch a glimpse of it beneath the layers of Big Russian Hockey Player and Silly Little Guy
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Centaurs draft Luca Haas 🇨🇭 2nd overall!
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
the concept of a gm who makes good normal picks instead of going off the board… who are you and what have you done with the ottawa centaurs
cens sicko @bywardbood
welcome to ottawa luca haas are you ready to carry the hopes and dreams of a terrible franchise on your back?
The Neutral Zone S02E90: Boy Scout, 40:53
Tyler Kudirka: Any last minute predictions for where Rozanov ends up?
Denis Alderman: Well, it’s a little hard to anticipate when we don’t know what Rozanov is looking for in a team.
Tyler Kudirka: There’s not been any indication?
Denis Alderman: None that I’ve heard. Rozanov’s agent hasn’t said a word, and it doesn’t seem like anyone else knows.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay. Bizarre. Well then, who’s looking to land our reigning Hart trophy winner?
Denis Alderman: Well, everyone, but realistically, there are maybe… six options?
Tyler Kudirka: That’s still a long list.
Denis Alderman: There’s not a lot to work off of, Tyler. Hard to narrow it down.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay, well, let’s talk about it, then. Who’s at the top of the list?
Denis Alderman: Well, if it’s a money question, I think Columbus probably have the most cap space. They could make an offer upward of 14 million. Others in that range… Maybe Calgary? They’re not that high on Macleod, so they could move him out for cap space. Could hit 12, 13 mil.
Tyler Kudirka: The trouble with those two is that neither of them are really close to winning.
Denis Alderman: Well, exactly. That’s the trade-off. Hard to get both money and a shot at a cup any time soon. Maybe the closest would be in Carolina, you know, they see this down year as a blip, and, if they can get the owner to agree to spend to the cap, they could give Rozanov some real money.
Tyler Kudirka: That could be a good fit.
Denis Alderman: It could. And, you know, the weather’s nicer, if that’s an element. Similarly, Tampa Bay is a nice locale–
Tyler Kudirka: Rozanov famously loves a party.
Denis Alderman: Right, and Florida is a tax-free state, so even if they can’t offer him as much money as Columbus or Calgary, the take-home pay is probably pretty similar.
Tyler Kudirka: I could see that working. Speed up the re-build.
Denis Alderman: Yep. Otherwise, I think San Francisco would be very interested. They’ve been knocking at the door long enough, Rozanov could push them over the hump.
Tyler Kudirka: They’d have to move some guys out to make the money work.
Denis Alderman: Sure, but there’s probably willingness if you have the chance to lock down a guy like Rozanov for, you know, 5-7 years. And there’s time in the summer to figure that out.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. Okay. So, lots of options.
Denis Alderman: Indeed. Hard to predict.
Tyler Kudirka: Can I pitch a crazy one?
Denis Alderman: Please.
Tyler Kudirka: Las Vegas.
Denis Alderman: Ooh, yeah, I could see a guy like Rozanov thriving in that environment.
Tyler Kudirka: Recent expansion team, still figuring out an identity. A little money flexibility. An exciting city. Fans that would love a showman like Roz.
Denis Alderman: I like that. I like that pick, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: Could be fun! Well, regardless, we’ll find out in July.
July
yejin @anticottagecore
i hate muskoka whys ilya rozanov buying ginger ale at 6am…
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
full naming jeep guy today of all days is wild
↳ yejin @anticottagecore
he pissed me off this morning no one should be this happy at 6 am… he’s lucky he’s cute
ezra @rozanot
like why am i scared it’s not like roz is staying in boston….
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
no like i can put up with a lot but what if he ends up a guardian 🤢🤮
↳ ezra @rozanot
specifically just toronto…?
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
im from alberta hating toronto is part of my culture
ilya’s thong @achilles81
i want to be clear: i dont care abt the bears im sorry i’ll follow roz anywhere but toronto. but ideally a good team roz plsplspls
Ottawa Centaurs ☑️ @OttawaCens
Got our guy! Welcome to the Centaurs, Roz!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Breaking: Ilya Rozanov signs with the Ottawa Centaurs, 7 years, 11 mil AAV.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
FUCKING OTTAWA????
cens sicko @bywardbood
WHAT THE FUCK
cens sicko @bywardbood
ROZANOV??? ON THE CENTAURS??????????
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Disappointing and puzzling to see Rozanov throw away the team that drafted him so callously
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
roz from the bottom of my heart WHAT THE HELL
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
OH MY FUCKING GOD DO I HAVE TO CHEER FOR THE FUCKING CENS??? I BECAME A ROZ FAN TO AVOID THEM 😭😭😭
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
come home liv u were always going to have to face your hometown team some time it’s your birthright
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
fuckkkkkkkk at least my dad will be happy 😔
★pri★ @bostonroz
crashing out rn DO THEY EVEN HAVE CLUBS IN OTTAWA?
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
OOMF WAS RIGHT????
vic hates hockey @censeless
WHAT THE FUCK MUSKOKA GIRL CONFIRMED??? @anticottagecore GET IN HERE
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
HELLO?????
↳ yejin @anticottagecore
oh yeah this isnt new… ive seen him here a couple times last summer too. thought u guys all knew he had a girl up here?
jock strapped @shilya
ottawa is shane’s home town… it’s close to montreal… hollanov…won?
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
wait pause i swear im not a conspiracy theory shipper but shane has a cottage in muskoka…
↳ xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
genuinely trying so hard to be normal about this but what the fuck
ilya’s thong @achilles81
locking in and looking at the cens roster. ilya rozanov is leading me places i wouldn’t even go with a gun
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
im actually shaking what do you MEAN i get to cheer for ILYA ROZANOV now?? HE’S JUST ON MY TEAM???
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
im hearing this is what it’s like to be so up???
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
im trying to imagine tanner dillon on rozanov’s line and it’s still not great so we might be only a little up but at least bood will have fun
ilya’s thong @achilles81
this team is so fucking bad what the hell
The Neutral Zone S03E01: Centaurs Century, 11:38
Tyler Kudirka: Okay, biggest surprise of the deadline?
Denis Alderman: Well, obviously Rozanov to Ottawa.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah, that was… I’m still not sure what that’s all about. Care to provide some insight?
Denis Alderman: Tyler, I’d love to if I had any. …No, that’s not entirely fair. Okay. What I can say is, the Centaurs front office heard from Rozanov’s agent almost immediately after free agency opened. Jalali laid out their expectations for the deal, the Cens put together an offer, and Rozanov signed the contract.
Tyler Kudirka: The ink was dry before 5 p.m.
Denis Alderman: Yeah. Done deal. I haven’t been able to confirm if Rozanov even talked to another team.
Tyler Kudirka: So he wanted Ottawa?
Denis Alderman: It seems that way. Still not sure of the reasoning there.
Tyler Kudirka: Not extravagant amounts of money. Not a team on the verge of winning. Not… no offense to the city of Ottawa, but not really a destination team.
Denis Alderman: Well, no.
Tyler Kudirka: So what was the draw?
Denis Alderman: Tyler, I’m hoping Rozanov himself gives us some clarity. Because you know we don’t dabble in rumours here, but I wonder… I wonder if there’s a family element we’re not seeing.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah. Yeah, you know, as Julia Prior over in Boston often points out, Rozanov’s a private guy.
Denis Alderman: Yep. So, I think we’ll have to wait and hear from him.
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
not ottawa catching strays…
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
theyre jealous bc roz wants us
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
he certainly wants someone !
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Wanted to add - I’m told Rozanov was already in Ottawa. Signed the contract in person. Destination was a very deliberate choice on his part.
↳ ezra @rozanot
what the actual fuck i dont understand this man why was he fixated on ottawa???
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
would love any form of explanation actually what the fuck
ilya’s thong @achilles81
streets saying roz signed in ottawa for a girlfriend… who tf turned this hoe into a housewife 😒
yejin @anticottagecore
working a double shift but at least i got to see jeep guy again…
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
again?????
↳ yejin @anticottagecore
he needed lube
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
im sure
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81
I am very grateful to the Bears organization and Bears fans for supporting me for the last nine years. What you see on the ice is only a part of my life, and sometimes career decisions are made for reasons outside of hockey. I hope that my leaving does not change all the good times we had together.
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov81
Ottawa: I am so excited to get to know you and play some hockey.
↳ ˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
love ya roz 💛🖤
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
we’ll miss you!!
jock strapped @shilya
his agent 100% wrote this
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
well OBVIOUSLY 😭 roz wouldve said some shit like smell ya later and moved on
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Took him long enough. Shitty excuse. Bears should’ve known better than to bet the farm on a Russian player. Bet Hollander would’ve been loyal.
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
kys
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
you guys dont think its drugs do you
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
literally why tf would it be drugs 😭😭
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
idk ottawa just seems like a hard city to get drugs in. maybe its a preventative measure
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i promise you there is enough cocaine in ottawa to fuel parliament hill
cens sicko @bywardbood
player: signs in ottawa
fans: it has to be drugs
laurie @hollypike
shane liked rozanov’s goodbye tweet i need to study him
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
i love shady shane
vic hates hockey @censeless
i feel like im yelling into the void why isnt anyone paying attention to the muskoka girl theory
↳ yejin @anticottagecore
bc it’s not that interesting 😭😭
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
girl there is no one on ottawa centaurs twitter it’s just us
˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
maybe it’s something to do with his dad dying last year? idk how but like ig his family situation changed
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Lots of wild speculation about Rozanov’s departure, but guys are entitled to their privacy. Sometimes the right decision doesn’t make a lot of sense from the outside.
ezra @rozanot
maybe… we are just not meant to know… 🧘♀️
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
its killing you isnt it
↳ ezra @rozanot
IM GOING NUTS PRIYA
margo @shanebortion
obviously rozanov is being blackmailed by the russian mob
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
WHAT
↳ margo @shanebortion
idk im just makin shit up
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Ilya Rozanov is one of my favorite players I’ve ever had the pleasure of interviewing. He learns everyone’s names, he’s friendly and respectful, he’s funny, and he’s honest even when he’s keeping things close to the chest. He really did love being a Bear, and I’m sure he’ll love being a Centaur. He’ll be missed in Beantown.
August
Cens Watch ☑️ @CensWatch
Ilya Rozanov to be announced as new Centaurs captain, via Chuck Winslow for the Ottawa Citizen.
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
man what the hell sure
Chapter End Notes
thank u for reading <3
i have like 3ish fics set vaguely in this universe floating around in my head, so hopefully there will be more but – as you can tell by how long this took me – grad school is keeping me busyyy, so idk if/when those’ll happenthank you muchly for all the love~
if u enjoyed this, i have great news for you: the sequel that covers the long game already exists
Afterword
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