infiltrator of hearts

Cens 🏒💪🥅

Bood
Okay guys
Just talked to Coach and there's some news apparently
Dykstra
Is this about the new player that got signed?
Bood
Yup
Hazy
Yeah. Read some absolutely insane rumors about who that is on Twitter btw
Chouinard
Who do they think it is?
Hazy
Fucking Ilya Rozanov
Dykstra
What?? 😂
As if he would allow to be traded here
Barrett
Players don't really have a choice where they get traded
You know that, right?
If objecting was possible, I sure as hell wouldn't be here
Dykstra
First of all, rude. We are absolutely delightful
And secondly, I mean, yeah of course I know that
But it's Rozanov we're talking about here
He would rather throw hands at MLH representatives before accepting a trade to the worst team in the league lol
Barrett
Okay yes, that's fair
Chouinard
I feel like you have a very distorted perception of him
Dykstra
Do I though?
That guy's a fucking menace
Wouldn't put it past him
Chouinard
Hmm
If you say so
Hazy
I don't think that speculations like that are going to get us anywhere
So Bood
Who is it?
Bood
That's kinda the thing...
The rumors were true
It's Ilya fucking Rozanov
Hazy
WHAT???
Barrett
Oh wow
Dykstra
Oh God, is him signing with Ottawa a punishment or something??
Chouinard
What do you mean with that now?
Dykstra
Like, he constantly pushed the limits of what was allowed and what wasn't
And now he crossed that line and got traded to the worst team of the league to teach him a lesson, or something 💀
Bood
No, that's the insane part actually
According to Coach, Rozanov signed with us because he wanted to
He was a free agent and deliberately picked Ottawa
Even accepted a HUGE pay cut so they could afford him
Hazy
I'm so fucking confused
Literally what is this timeline???
Chouinard
Do you know the reason for that decision?
Bood
Nope, Coach apparently knows but he didn't tell me anything
But we can just ask him ourselves
Coach gave me his number
Since the contract is already signed and he'll play with us next season, I think it's a good idea to add him here
Zane Boodram added Ilya Rozanov to the chat.
Bood
Hi Rozanov, I'm Zane Boodram! Coach Wiebe gave me your number to add you to our group chat!
Everyone say Hello to our new teammate
Chouinard
Wecome to Ottawa! I'm Nick Chouinard :)
If you should ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out :)
Dykstra
You absolute fucking madman
Welcome to the team!
And I'm Evan Dykstra
Barrett
Hello
I'm Troy Barrett
Hazy
What the fuck
Bood
That's neither a hello nor a fucking introduction, Hazy
Where are your fucking manners??
Hazy
Right, sorry
Hi Rozanov, I'm Wyatt Hayes
Welcome to the Centaurs, I guess???
What the actual fuck???
hello centaurs
thank you for welcomes
good to be here
Hazy
Is it???
yes of course
why should it not be?
Hazy
Are you-
Is he kidding??
no HE is not 🤨
Chouinard
Very sorry about him, Rozanov
We're just all a little confused about this entire situation, I think
confusion makes goalie rude to me?
interesting
Hazy
Didn't mean to be rude, sorry
Just...
And I will ask this will all the love in my heart
Why the fuck are you here??
Bood
Let me rephrase that a little actually
We're curious about your decision to sign with the Ottawa Centaurs of all the possible teams in the MLH
I'm sure that pretty much every team would've loved to sign you. Yet you picked Ottawa?
ah yes
signed with ottawa for good hockey obviously
Dykstra
Seriously??
of course not
i am teasing, if you have ever heard of it
this team is shit
Dykstra
Thanks?
Hazy
So, what? You got bored in Boston and now we're your fixer upper project?
Is that why you're here now?
"fixer upper"?
i do not know what that means
i thought i have learned all weird english expressions by now
Bood
He's asking, if that means that you signed here to turn this team around
Make sure we win, thanks to your influence
Or something along those lines
ah ok
i mean
will probably help with wins that i am good player
but hockey is team sport, yes?
Hazy
I mean, yeah?
one exceptional player, like me, does not guarantee improvement or wins if rest of team is shit
that only works in montreal unfortunately
and while i am very, very, very good, i am no shane hollander
so we will have to wait and see how it will work out
make improvements together as team, yes?
Chouinard
Sounds good :)
But, what do you mean that only works in Montreal?
Barrett
Yeah, I thought the entire team is good?
I mean, we keep losing to them...
they win because of hollander
so i strongly disagree with them being good team overall
they are nothing without hollander
remember season he was injured?
they did not even make it to playoffs
even though they won back to back cups seasons prior
pathetic
Bood
I never would've expected to ever see you praise Hollander
Don't you two famously hate each other?
That's what the rivalry is all about, isn't it?
eh
hate is nasty word
i do not hate him
he is my friend
and rivalry on ice is not same as blind hatred
Bood
Hmm, that's true
Dykstra
You don't hate him?
That's a little surprising actually
would not start charity with someone i hate
especially not important charity like this
dedicated to and named after my mama
Dykstra
Shit, true. I completely forgot about your charity
Can't lie, the announcement that you two are working together really came out of nowhere
yes
a lot of people are questioning if it is real or serious
stupid people
there is nothing i take more seriously than mental health
which is also surprising to people, probably
Chouinard
Probably, when they only look at your reputation and refuse to dig a little deeper
Because I remember reading an article from a few years ago where you were very vocally supportive of your teammate, when he decided to take a mental health break
he was burned out
needed a break
will always support that
and not unhealthy habits
have seen too many people break because of it
Bood
I'm very sorry to hear that you had to experience that, Rozanov...
thank you
and please call me roz
is easier and less formal
and you probably cannot pronounce rozanov properly anyway
Bood
Okay, gotcha lol
Feel free to call us by our nicknames too, if you want
thank you, bood
will do
Hazy
I'm starting to question my entire life currently
Because what do you mean Ilya Rozanov isn't an absolute asshole??
i am still here you know
Hazy
As if you're not used to people calling you an asshole
fair, am very used to it
does not make it nice thing to say though
but anyway
i am looking forward to play with you
Chouinard
I'm just going to speak for everyone when I say that we're looking forward to play with you too :)
so polite
as to be expected by canadian
always so polite
but thank you
Dykstra
Honestly, the best thing about this is that we never have to play against you again
It always felt like an humiliation ritual 😂😭
haha
because it was 😘
i remember telling boys in locker room that we will send you home crying
and that probably worked
Dykstra
Yup, sure did...
Barrett
Okay but, you haven't answered our initial question yet
what?
Barrett
We asked why you decided to sign with Ottawa and you just skillfully derailed the conversation to avoid answering
would you believe me when i say i did not have a deeper reason for it?
Dykstra
No
Bood
Nope
Hazy
Absolutely not
Chouinard
I think, no
hmm
Chouinard
Was it for the charity maybe?
You're closer to Hollander now
With you two now living in the same country
Makes it easier to organize and host stuff that way, right?
good thinking
and partly true
but no, is not only reason
Hazy
Then why?
when i tell you
you cannot make fun of me
Chouinard
We swear that we won't make fun of you :)
Bood
^
Dykstra
^^
Hazy
^^^
Barrett
^^^^
ok
i left boston and moved to ottawa
for love
Hazy
Of course you did...
What's the real reason?
is real reason
what is difficult to understand about my statement?
was not too many words i hope?
Hazy
... No
And I mean, it's not difficult to understand, necessarily
I'm just surprised
You have quite the reputation, after all and this comes very unexpected
am manwhore
that what you want to say?
Hazy
No?
you do not sound convinced 🤨
Hazy
Fine, maybe that's what I wanted to say
Sorry, I really shouldn't be rude about this
It's your life, I'm not judging
sounds like you are judging, but is ok
was my life
i have settled down
retired from manwhore days
pretty canadian has made honest man out of me
has stolen my heart and i never want it back
but i will not say more about it
relationship is still very new, very fragile
and мое солнышко is so very shy
do not want to ruin anything by saying too much
Bood
So adding her to the WAGs chat is out of the question then?
for now, yes
if that is ok
Chouinard
Of course, that's okay. Why shouldn't it be?
We wouldn't want you to share anything with us that possibly makes you or your girlfriend uncomfortable :)
thank you for being understanding
and also thank you again for mostly friendly welcome
i know that me coming here is odd to you
it is odd to me too
but i really just want to play good hockey
Hazy
I'm really sorry for coming across like such a dick, I'm excited that you're playing for us now
Maybe we'll finally win something lol
is group effort, but if you all are willing to learn мое дорогой has already sent over powerpoint presentation about all of your flaws and weaknesses
with training guides to improve
Bood
I shouldn't be surprised that your girl's a hockey head, but somehow i am 😂
started making lists before me coming here was even in question
absolute hockey freak
here look
*shared a link*
[the link leads to a well-structured powerpoint presentation consisting of over 300 slides]
Barrett
"Absolute Hockey Freak" seems like an understatement, but okay 😀
Hazy
Excuse me how many fucking slides is that???
мое любимый is very thorough as you can see
dedicated to fix horrible players
no offense of course
Bood
None taken
She also included you in those slides btw
WHAT
....
oh

Jane 😛💦💕

so i have weak backhand now?
seriously?
Let's call that payback 😘

Jane 😛💦💕

i cannot lie
it is very weird
Ominous way to start the conversation.
Hello to you too
i am sorry
hello солнышко ❤️
Hi ❤️
So, what's weird?
the guys are
team in general
it is odd
Odd how?
Are they rude to you or something?
goalie was a little rude at first, but not anymore
they are so nice
it is strange
acting like i have been their friend forever
are also super nice and respectful about boundaries regarding our relationship despite getting insulted in your very long powerpoint presentation
For the record
The presentation wasn't meant to be insulting, I analysed their flaws and wrote down different methods to improve
Nothing rude about that
yes, of course
Ignoring the sarcastic tone...
But overall it's a good thing, though?
That they're being nice, I mean
Even when they maybe think that your girlfriend is an absolutely insane puck bunny
Would you rather have them be total assholes to you?
they are not calling you puck bunny, you are hockey head. sounds better, no?
because it is true
is very nice that they are nice and respectful
i just feel like i do not deserve it
i have not done anything for them to be nice to me
have not achieved anything on their team yet
no reason for them to like me yet
Well, there's an easy explanation for that
there is?
Yes, of course
It's because you don't need to do anything special, for them to be nice to you
I told you, they may be not be the best hockey players, which they definitely aren't, but they're really nice guys from what I was able to find out
You don't have to be the provider
You can just be yourself and your team will appreciate you for it
As it should be
are you really in position of giving out that kind of advice?
What's that supposed to mean?
you are only reason why montreal ever wins anything
pike sure as hell is not doing shit
neither do any of your other teammates
you are sole provider for your team
Can we not talk about me and my team?
We're talking about you right now.
дорогой
is very important to address
I know
And we'll talk about it, just not right now, okay?
Please
of course
i am sorry солнышко
i will go back to talk about my team only, yes?
Yes
Thank you
so you are saying they like me for who i am and not what i have achieved on ice?
Yes exactly, because they're good people
And you should give them more of a chance
how do you know that i do not already do that?
Because I know you
You tend to keep people at an arm's length before opening up to them
Marlow being the only exception that I can name right now
you are exception too
Am I, though?
Because I remember that it took us over 7 years of "casual" hookups to have a proper conversation about us and our "relationship"
hm
true
i am sorry
You have no reason to be sorry. I was acting just as dumb, if not worse
But that doesn't matter anymore now that we're officially together ❤️
❤️
You should have some team bonding time with the guys sometime
Maybe that'll help with opening up?
hmm good idea
bood is hosting bbq tomorrow and invited me to come
Oh! That's nice :)
You should go
but you are visiting tomorrow
I'm also in Ottawa next week, for the entire weekend. Would be a lot nicer to see you for 3 days than just for like 4 hours
I could stay home tomorrow, so you can go to the BBQ at Boodram's house and then next weekend, we won't leave the bed for 3 whole days.
Sounds like a good plan, no?
sounds very tempting, cannot lie
especially the not leaving bed part 😏
but you sure that is ok?
you are not mad about last minute plan changes?
I'm the one who's suggesting the plan changes, aren't I?
Besides, Hayden's been really annoying lately. His kids too, if I'm honest. And Jackie...
That I never come by their house anymore, since I'm seeing you every week
I'll show face at the Pike's tomorrow and have dinner with them, so Hayden will leave me alone for at least 2 weeks after that
Win-win for everyone, I'd say
pike acting like he never gets to see you
not like he is seeing you everyday at work
stupid pike
Ilya, be nice. He's my best friend.
if i must 😒
you are really not mad?
I'm really not mad :)
Enjoy the BBQ and call me after, okay?
I want to hear all about it :)
ok, will do
я тебя люблю ❤️
I love you too
So much ❤️

Bood

hello bood
i hope offer to come to bbq tomorrow still stands
Hey man!
Of course it does!
You coming?
yes, would like to come
Fuck yes 💪🏼
Just told Cassie, she's thrilled to meet you!!
looking forward to meeting famous lady bood
and heard a lot of good things about your skills
am excited to see if your grilling is better than your hockey
Wow 😂
Not to flex or anything, it definitely is
too bad it is not your job
can you send your address again?
Of course!!
📍Zane & Cassie Boodram's address
See you tomorrow, Roz 💪🏼

Jane 😛💦💕

i have not left yet, but wanted to tell you something already
Oh?
Are you having fun?
so much
they are all great
thank you for encouraging me to go
❤️❤️❤️

about Roz

Troy Barrett created "about Roz"
Troy Barrett added xx members to the chat.
Hello?
Dykstra
What's this about Barrett?
Hazy
A group chat without Roz?
Why are we excluding him?
Chouinard
Judging by the group name, I'm assuming that whatever he wants to talk about is somehow related to Roz
Hazy
I mean, yeah obviously
But still feels a little odd
Barrett
I know, sorry
But a little birdie told me something
Something about Roz
But I'll let him tell you himself
Troy Barrett added Harris Drover to the chat.
Harris
Hey guys :)
Good to finally meet you outside of the work perspective
Hey Harris!!
Chouinard
Hi :)
Hazy
Hellooo
Dykstra
Hi!
So, what's the news?
Harris
Okay so, I've been studying the Cens' social media accounts the past few days
I mean, obviously, it's my job now
And I saw that you guys have this "tradition" that you always organize something fun for a players' birthday
Basically, I just wanted to ask what you guys have planned for Rozanov
If you have anything planned, that is...
What?
Roz's birthday is coming up?
When?
Harris
You don't know??
Chouinard
No, he doesn't really talk about himself that much...
Harris
And you didn't ask him when his birthday is?
Dykstra
The topic somehow never came up
When's his birthday exactly?
So we can get to planning
Harris
June 15th
That's the day after tomorrow??
Shit
Okay
Guys, we have to brainstorm something
QUICK
Dykstra
Okay... So anyone know what he likes?
Hazy
Vodka
But I think, gifting a Russian a bottle of vodka doesn't really scream "happy birthday"
And it's also kinda stereotypical, no?
Doesn't really show that we know him
Hazy
I mean, we met him like 2 weeks ago. So I can't really say that I know everything about the guy
Or anything, really
I mean, yeah. But still, we have to at least look like we're trying
Dykstra
He also likes Hockey
And everything Hockey related
Chouinard
He also said that he really misses his friends from Boston, so maybe something related to that?
I don't know, though
Harris
Don't worry guys, I already have an idea actually 👀
Barrett
Because of course you do
Harris
You know me 😊
I don't know if you've noticed, but last time I brought Chiron to work, Roz was all over him
So, it's quite obvious that Roz loves dogs
OMG
We should have him do a Puppy Interview
He mentioned that he was really jealous when Hollander got to do one a while ago and he was never asked before
Harris
You've read my mind!!
That was the plan :)
Or well, something like that
I doubt that Roz will be able to answer a lot of questions when he's surrounded by dozens of puppies, but yeah.
We'll do a Cens Puppy Interview with Roz being the main focus of the video
Chouinard
Video?
What video?
Harris
Silly boys. I'm the new social media manager
I obviously WILL be making content out of this
A great gift for Roz AND the first piece of content I'm filming for the social media accounts
Win-win for literally everyone 😗
Especially because Player + Puppy Content is always a hit
Sounds awesome
We could do a BBQ at my house after
Roz had a great time last time
Harris
Good idea!! :)
Chouinard
Should we maybe also invite some of his friends from Boston?
It's a little last minute, and they may not be able to come, but could be worth a try?
Dykstra
Who were you thinking?
Chouinard
He's talking about Cliff Marlow a lot, saying that they're close like brothers
So maybe him?
Hazy
👀
Chouinard
And he also talks about a girl named Svetlana quite a lot
He said that they grew up together, if I remember correctly
Harris
I can try reaching out to Marlow to ask if he wants to come
Maybe he can also help me reach this Svetlana
I'm sure Roz would be excited to see them both
Barrett
Should we also ask Hollander?
The Voyageurs don't have a game this weekend, maybe he can make the drive too?
Harris
Oh, are they actually friends?
Yeah, they seem pretty close
He basically doesn't shut up about him
You could think he's obsessed with him or something
Chouinard
Which would make sense, considering that they've spent a decade hating each other
He's still giving him all that attention like he did before, just in a different way now
It's nice to see actually
Harris
I mean, sure, I can try reaching out to Hollander, too
Leave it to me, I'll text @Bood with details when I get them :)
Okay 👌🏼
Harris
The Interview is also already pretty much set up
All you guys have to do on his actual birthday is to make sure he comes to "practice", so we can surprise him
Chouinard
Consider it done
I hope...
Harris
I'd appreciate a little more enthusiasm, but I guess, I can work with that.
Good luck, boys 🫡
Chouinard
🫡
🫡
Dykstra
🫡
Hazy
🫡
Barrett
🫡

caitlin dykstra 🤓🌻

Roz, what the actual fuck is wrong with you???
what???
what did i do now???
When I sent you the link for the baby registry, I expected you to buy us like... One item??
And not every single one on the list??
oh
well
you should have clarified that before sending the list to me then
Even the stuff that we JUST added to the list a few days ago??
How did you do that??
i have my ways
You absolute menace
Thank you so much, honestly
This is WAY too generous
"too generous"??
there is no such thing in my vocabulary actually
Well, you should add it to your vocabulary then
Because this is actually insane!!!
But I appreciate it so much
Evan does too, of course
And so does this little lady
*shared a photo*
[The photo shows Susie Dykstra, Evan and Caitlin's new baby. She is calmly sleeping in her hospital crib.] she is here already??
when did that happen??
Like... Two hours ago?
I don't know.
Time doesn't feel real anymore
You're the first to know :)
!!!!
congratulations!!!
and thank you for this honour
do you need something?
food?
something to drink?
something for baby?
literally anything?
No, you've already gotten us enough
More than enough, actually
not what i asked
you have just pushed a baby out of your body, you should not have to lift a single finger
The three of us are all perfectly happy
Really
We don't need a thing right now, aside from some more peace and quiet before our families arrive lol
Thank you so much for offering, though ❤️
if you should need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out
i will be there before you can even finish the message asking for something
I wish those people who always call you a selfish asshole would know the real you
You're the best and most selfless person I've ever met, Roz ❤️
you are giving me too much credit
Or not enough
Because I mean every word that I've said
❤️

bood 🍗

Hey man 💪
Are you free on Saturday?
another bbq already, bood?
did we not just have one two days ago?
this is getting concerning
do you have a bbq addiciton?
do we need to stage an intervention?
you are not alone 🙏
Oh my God, shut up 😂
I'm not asking because of that
what is up then?
I talked to Evan earlier
He and Cait are losing their minds currently
Because they haven't interacted with anyone but their baby and their overbearing families in like a month
understandable that they are freaking out
caitlin told me that their families are... "special"
"Special" definitely is one word for it...
Anyway, we decided that we need to get them out of the house for a bit
And Nick's girlies have been begging to go to the Zoo again, too
So, we'll do a Centaurs family day on Saturday
Players, their WAGs and the kids
sounds like a good plan
Right? We thought so, too
So... You coming too?
hmm
i do not have family here
i would be in the way, no?
What?
what?
What do you mean you have no family here?
The team's your family!!
You're in Ottawa for a few months already, you're part officially part of the Cens Family now
oh
yes, of course
I mean, you don't have to join us if you don't want to
But, we'd love to have you :)
i do not know if i should come, to be honest
do not have a partner
or a child
would just be me
Troy's coming too and he also doesn't have a partner or child
If that helps?
hmm
it actually does, i think
Nice!
Absolutely no pressure, though.
Would be cool if you joined us, but I can totally understand if you don't feel comfortable or whatever
no, i am sorry for being weird about this
i will come
my jane always says that additional team bonding can never hurt
and someone has to entertain the little chouinards when everyone else is too tired
Haha! Sounds awesome!
I'm glad to hear it :)
I remember that you mentioned that your car's in the shop
Do you wanna ride with me and Cassie on Saturday, then?
well, i have many more cars i could pick
but you know what?
i would like to take you up on that offer
as long as lady bood is the one to drive
you drive worse than me
and that has to mean something
Rude
But true, I guess
Cassie's been saying the same lately
Despite never having an issue with it before
She says that she always gets dizzy whenever I drive her somewhere
I should really work on that before the Baby comes...
baby?
what baby?
Oh shit-
I wasn't supposed to tell anyone yet
will there be a baby bood soon??
You have to promise that you'll keep this a secret until we'll tell the others on Saturday
Please, Roz
Can't have Cassie find out that I flapped my mouth
She'll kill me on the spot
My child can't grow up fatherless
growing up fatherless is not that bad
i survived it
and look at me now 💪
Roz, come on.
just kidding, of course
my father unfortunately was a part of my life for way too long
Dude 😭
but i promise i will not tell anyone
Okay, good
Thank you
so, there will be a baby bood soon?
Yup
Cassie's already near the end of her second trimester, but she isn't really showing yet.
We decided to wait a little longer before we tell anyone from the team
To make sure that everything's fine with Cassie and the Baby, you know?
i understand
is a very scary situation
there will be many changes in your lives
but nice changes, no?
a little bood will be joining you soon
i am sure you will be a fantastic papa
congratulations to you and lady bood, truly
i am very excited for you
You're gonna make me cry, dude
Thank you so much for saying that
of course
why should i not say that?
did anyone make you think that you will not be a good papa?
A few family members
But doesn't matter
fuck them
they do not know you well it seems
zane boody a bad papa?
fucking morons
I appreciate you saying that
But please never say that to their faces if you should ever meet them, though
you make sure i never meet them then
😂😂
and if you, lady bood or baby bood should ever need anything, you know where to find me
my babysitting rates are very fair
Have I ever told you that you're the best?
no?
i do not think so
Well, let me make up for lost time then
You're the best! ❤️
❤️

Cens 🏒💪🥅

Bood
ALRIGHT
EVERYONE GET YOUR ASSES HERE
Hazy
HERE!!
Chouinard
HERE too!!
Dykstra
Tired as FUCK, but HERE!!
Barrett
Are the Caps really necessary?
Bood
Would it kill you to show some enthusiasm?
Barrett
Probably
Bood
Wow
Well, anyway
Good that you're all here
Now
@Roz get your ass in here too
Dykstra
@Roz
Hazy
@Roz
Chouinard
@Roz
Bood
Troy, tag him too
Barrett
Fine
@Roz
yes?
what is going on?
told you to not interrupt my precious jane time
stupid boys
you better have a very good reason
Bood
Sorry about that, man
But there's something important that we need to ask you
sounds serious
Hazy
It's nothing bad, of course
Hopefully you'll be excited about it
?
Bood
Soooo
Do you wanna be our new team Captain?
what?
seriously?
Bood
Yeah, man!!!
Dykstra
We all talked about it
Took a vote and all
Hazy
You're the perfect pick for Captain for multiple reasons
which would be?
Barrett
Well, you've been Captain for the Bears for years
So you already have experience with the job
Chouinard
You're also not just a Veteran, but a Franchise Player, too
Which makes you the obvious pick for Captain
Dykstra
And, I mean, we also all really like you
You're our friend and we think you'd make a great Captain
Bood
I also already talked to Coach Wiebe and the Management about our choice
And they're on board too, if you say yes
oh
this really comes out of nowhere for me
you are really sure about this?
Bood
More sure than we've ever been about anything
wow
i mean, of course
would love to be centaurs captain
one condition, though
boody will be my alternate
Bood
Fuck yes!!
I'll gladly be your right hand man 💪
ok perfect 💪
am your new captain then
everyone chant!!
Bood
CAP! CAP! CAP!
Hazy
CAP! CAP! CAP!
Chouinard
CAP! CAP! CAP!
Dykstra
CAP! CAP! CAP!
Barrett
CAP! CAP! CAP!
thank you for the chants
and for the trust
will not disappoint you 💪

Cens 🏒💪🥅

Dykstra
Is anyone watching the Montreal game?
Chouinard
Nope, got my hands full with the girls
Hazy
Why the fuck should I be watching that game??
Barrett
I thought Montreal's the enemy?
Bood
They are
So, why are YOU watching the game, Evan?
Dykstra
Listen, I would also prefer to watch literally anything else, but Hockey sounds help calm down Susie
That girl's OBSESSED with Hockey already and she can't even form a thought yet
Hazy
Like father, like daughter
Character Name
Fuck right off, Hazy
I just turned on the TV and the game was on
She's been crying non-stop for 2 hours
But as soon as she heard the TV, she stopped
So, please forgive me fathers, for I have sinned
By watching a Montreal game
Chouinard
From one team Dad to another
Whose daughters are also irrationally obessed with Hockey
You are forgiven, my child
Dykstra
Thank you, father 🙏
Bood
What about the game, though?
I know that you wouldn't mention it to us, if it wasn't something important
Dykstra
Yeah, sorry
After Susie finally fell asleep, I continued watching the game a bit and noticed something odd
I don't know if they were just having a bad day or whatever
But Hollander got beaten up BAD out there
It's fucking crazy
Hazy
Just checked Twitter
And saw some clips that are already trending
The defensemen basically ignored him
Dykstra
Basically everyone, but Pike completely ignored him
Hazy
What the fuck is going on?
Barrett
That's very unlike them to treat their star player this way
Bood
Makes me wonder if something happened?
Chouinard
Hey Cap, do you maybe know what's going on?
Hazy
Roz?
Dykstra
Also very unlike him to not immediately respond when his name is mentioned...
Barrett
Maybe he's just busy?

Hayden Pike (derogatory)

Hey Rozanov
Please call me when you see this
It's about Shane

Support group for Hollanov survivors

Hayden
Hey Cliff & Svetlana
Is Rozanov still with you?
He's not reading my messages
It's really important
Rose
Dude
What the fuck was this game today??
Hayden
I'll explain later, but right now I have more important shit to take care of
I'm so pissed off
And I really need to talk to Rozanov
@Svetlana @Cliff look at your fucking phones
I'm freaking out right now
I'm here
Hayden
Good
Now make sure Rozanov picks up his fucking phone
Okay

Jane 😛💦💕

i know everything is very scary right now
but we will figure it out together
you will not have to take a single step on your own
i love you so much ❤️
everything will be ok. i promise

Jane 😛💦💕

Does the rest of the team know that Coach Wiebe is bi?
Or is that something that just we two know now?
i do not know, actually
was news to me
but good for him
and good for us, too
Definitely
I'm very glad that he doesn't have a problem with us being together while playing on the same team
i mean
playing on the same team is less conflict of interests than playing for opposing teams, no?
I guess so
I'm still very glad
I'll finally feel safe playing Hockey again
AND, most importantly, I finally get to play with you
For more than just one weekend worth of games
that is the best part for me also
get to see your pretty face everyday instead of twice a month
feels like a dream
and you should feel safe playing hockey
those fucking assholes never deserved you
FUCK MONTREAL
Yeah, fuck them...
I mean, I'm happy that I got out of that hellhole
But I'm really worried about Hayden
I can't imagine that he's having the best time right now
i am worried about him also
i hope he will be ok
What's this?
You're being nice about Hayden?
still hate him, of course
do not get me wrong
but he is a very good friend to you
and me also, i guess
he deserves better than rotting in fuck ass montreal
Maybe he can come to Ottawa, too?
Sometime in the future
let us not get ahead of ourselves here
because if we are getting your best friend on our team, we will get marley too
obviously, is only fair
Obviously
That's the only logical turn of events
I'm so excited to meet the guys
I hope they'll like me
they will love you
like i love you
well
maybe not exactly like i love you
but you know what i mean
I do
I love you too
So much

Cens 🏒💪🥅

gentlemen
listen up
rumours were true
we have a new player
and i am very excited to make this announcement
Ilya Rozanov added Shane Hollander to the chat.
Hollzy
Hi guys :)
Bood
DUDE
HOLY SHIT
Hazy
WHAT THE FUCK???
Life isn't real
Dykstra
OH SHIT WHAT
We are SO winning the Cup this year
We'll be unstoppable!!
Barrett
And I thought the rumours that Cap signed with us were crazy
Chouinard
Wow
Welcome to Ottawa, Hollzy!!
Hollzy
Happy to be here :)

Cassie 💍🩷

Zane baby 🩷
I have a mission for you 👀

Cait 🐥💛

Evan!!!!!
You need to do something for me 👀

Cens WAGs 🩷💞💕💓

Cassie
LADIES
GATHER AROUND
CAIT AND I HAVE NEWS
Lisa
Calm it with the Caps, Boodram
I just got home from a double shift
I'm here
Barely awake, but here
Selena
I'm here, too!!
What's this about?
Cassie
Ready Cait???
Caitlin
SO ready!!
Lisa
What's going on??
Caitlin Dykstra added Lily (Hollander) to the chat.
Cassie Boodram added Jane (Rozanov) to the chat.
Caitlin
Everyone say hello Lily (Hollzy's girlfriend) and Jane (Roz's girlfriend)!!
Welcome the the Cens WAGs ❤️

End Notes

thank you for reading :)