Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike, Jackie Pike, David Hollander, Svetlana Vetrova, Rose Landry, Yuna Hollander

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Hockey Player Shane Hollander, POV Shane Hollander, Tattoo Artist Ilya Rozanov, Retired Hockey Player Ilya Rozanov

Language:

English

Series:

Part 2 of Vivid Ink | Tattoo artist Ilya AU

Stats:

Published: 2026-01-22 Completed: 2026-02-14 Words: 18,741 Chapters: 3/3

take it slow

Summary

This time, it’s surprisingly Hayden that saves him. “Babe, don’t bother,” he tells Jackie. “Shane is staying in Montreal. He says it’s for business, but I don’t think so.”

Shit, had he been so transparent this morning?

“Look, maybe I met someone, alright?” he says, regretting it the moment he does. Jackie is smiling way too brightly. Hayden is grinning like Shane just scored three goals and he assisted all three.

“What someone?” Jackie asks. “Do you have a picture of them?”

Oh, she’d be so surprised if he found a picture of Ilya Rozanov and showed it to her. The thought in itself is enough to make Shane horribly nervous.

Shane got the number from a man he finds attractive. Now that the ball is in his court, he needs to gather the courage to do something about it. Maybe. Hopefully.

Or: part two of the tattoo artist Ilya AU.

Notes

here it is, chapter one of three of tattoo artist ilya au - that this time, people actually asked for! thanks so much for the interest and enthusiasm, everyone. chapter two and three to follow shortly.
as ever, many many thanks to my beta reader, and i hope you enjoy this one!

Chapter 1: The prep

Shane acquired the cellphone number of a man he thought was handsome and who told him that he thought Shane was attractive. That isn’t an everyday occurrence for him by any stretch of imagination. In fact, he knows that has never happened to him before. It’s vaguely romantic and while definitely welcome in some ways, it’s also terrifying in some others. Shane doesn’t know what to do with it, so he does as anyone in his position would do: nothing. At least not at first.

He goes back to the Voyageurs party with J.J. and Hayden. They are welcomed back by their teammates like they just beat the Boston Bears on the ice, so everyone is well towards getting drunk again. Indulgently, Shane drinks one more beer and then calls it a night. They do have a last team meeting tomorrow. 

Once he gets home, he stares at Ilya’s contact info in his phone and contemplates messaging before ultimately deciding against it. He also contemplates whether he should try to find out about Ilya Rozanov online, but decides against that as well. It feels like an invasion of Ilya’s privacy to do that. He used to play ice hockey for youth teams for Russia and now he's in Montreal as a tattoo artist. That is all Shane knows and all Shane should know, unless Ilya wants him to know more.

If Shane ever messages him, that is. 

During the meeting the next morning, his teammates show up in various states of being hungover and generally not up to sitting and listening to their coach. Shane guesses that’s what winning a Stanley Cup does to a person, though he can’t say he has that same problem. Their coach senses it too and keeps it short, quickly sending them off on their summer breaks after reminding them to make sensible decisions. Shane honestly doubts that he believes that’s going to happen. 

When they head out of the meeting room, Hayden joins him. “Hey. Jackie says you have to come by our house for dinner before you’re going to Ottawa for the summer,” he says. 

“Sure,” he says. “Tell me when and I’ll be there.”

“When are you leaving for Ottawa?” Hayden asks.

The question, uncharacteristically, doesn’t get an immediate answer. Usually Shane has this sort of thing planned out long before the last day of the season. He knows exactly where he’s going and when he’s going to do it. Technically he still has those plans, but meeting Ilya, Rozanov, has him distracted and perhaps staying in Montreal longer.

“I’m not sure yet,” Shane says. “Next week, maybe.”

Hayden openly frowns at him. “I thought you’d be out of here before the week is out,” he says. “What do you mean, you’re not sure yet?”

It warms Shane’s heart that Hayden so immediately knows that he’s going off schedule and calls him out on it. He didn’t think that anyone would ever know him like that, but Hayden proves the contrary. 

Now if only Shane could actually admit to Hayden why he’s hesitant on leaving this week. He can’t, and that has nothing to do with Hayden at all.

“I have some business to wrap up,” he says vaguely. 

“Business?” Hayden repeats, apparently not buying it. “Like what? Are you buying more property? Are you volunteering for J.J.'s charity again and forgot to invite me?”

“No, it’s not either one of those things,” Shane says, trying to sound reassuring. “I don’t want to talk about it, alright?”

“Alright,” Hayden says, raising his hands. “How is this evening? There’s ginger ale in the fridge and Jackie promised to adhere to your diet plan.”

“Hayd, the season is over,” Shane reminds him, eager to talk about anything but his vague plans for the upcoming week.

“Oh, right,” Hayden says, frowning. “Well, she’s already prepared it, so it’ll have to do. You’re in, right?”

“Of course,” Shane says. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

~~

When Shane arrives at the Pikes at the agreed on time, the house is in the kind of chaos he’s come to expect. Four kids is a lot of kids, objectively speaking. Shane doesn’t think anyone could reasonably keep up with four of them. When he arrives both Ruby and Jade come running at him, with Hayden right behind him telling them (to no avail) no running indoors. He hugs them and asks them how their day at school was before he gets to greet Jackie, who is in the kitchen.

He finds Arthur on the couch with a picture book. Rather than disturb, because he would have hated that as a child, he asks Hayden: “He can read?”

“Bits and pieces,” Hayden replies, giving him a funny look. “Although I suspect he just memorised the entire book because he always wants to be read this one before bed.”

Hayden disappears to help Jackie in the kitchen, or perhaps keep an eye on Ruby and Jade who are playing outside, so Shane sits with Arthur. He looks up at Shane, smiles shyly and, after some coaxing, asks if Shane will read him the book. That’s not a request Shane can possibly say no to, so that’s what they do until dinner.

At dinner, as Hayden and Jackie try to make conversation with him and manage the four kids, Shane uncomfortably reflects on their homelife. He’s known Hayden since their rookie year and considers him his best friend. He was there when Hayden met Jackie and was his best man when they got married. He’s used to their family being what it is; loud and chaotic, but with love and kindness everywhere. 

As an only child growing up, he never had much loud and chaotic unless he was on the rink. He isn’t sure if he wants this exactly, but he does know he wants something like this. A partner to come home to, or his partner to come home to him. A child, maybe, if that’s ever an option for them. He knows his parents had their trouble having him and with his partner presumably being male, that might pose even more of a challenge. 

What bothers Shane is the question if he’s projecting this onto Ilya, who he has had only one serious conversation with, in the backroom of a tattoo shop no less, and who he is afraid to even message. The ball is firmly in Shane’s court after Ilya did all the work and so far the ball isn’t moving. He knows what he wants and he knows he finds Ilya attractive, but those two don’t have to coincide at all. 

Who even knows what Ilya wants. It probably isn’t being with a closeted hockey player who is gone for half of the year. Ilya said it sounded lonely, but that doesn’t mean he’d be remotely up for seeing someone who is on that kind of schedule. 

Shane is also getting ahead of himself, but that’s what he does. He needs to sit with things and think them through in order to understand the situation and himself in it. Being at home with the Pikes always casts situations in a different perspective and today is no different. They have a semblance of what Shane thinks he wants, but because Shane is gay the circumstances feel very different.

Then Ruby asks when she’s going to get to see the Stanley Cup again, insisting she needs to take it to school and show everyone, and Jade argues that actually she should be the one to bring it to school, and Shane is distracted. He tells the kids that their father actually thought about getting a tattoo of the cup and watches amusedly how the kids respond while Hayden vehemently denies it. 

After dinner and once the kids are all in bed, they sit in the living room and touch on some small talk topics. Shane has never been particularly good at this but he tries all the same. How effective it is is anyone’s guess, though. 

At some point, Jackie goes the way she does more often: “So Shane, I have this friend…”

Shane has spent years depriving her of her dreams of double dating. He dutifully looked at pictures and Instagram profiles and said, he likes to think, all the right things. He even went on dates with Jackie’s friends once or twice. They were never a good fit for obvious reasons, but Shane is too nervous about coming out to even entertain it. Three people know he’s gay. None of them are really tied to his life in hockey.

He guesses technically four people know, since Ilya did flirt with him and gave Shane his number. How he knew Shane has no idea, but if he guessed then he guessed right.

This time, it’s surprisingly Hayden that saves him. “Babe, don’t bother,” he tells Jackie. “Shane is staying in Montreal. He says it’s for business, but I don’t think so.”

Shit, had he been so transparent this morning?

“Look, maybe I met someone, alright?” he says, regretting it the moment he does. Jackie is smiling way too brightly. Hayden is grinning like Shane just scored three goals and he assisted all three.

“What someone?” Jackie asks. “Do you have a picture of them?”

Oh, she’d be so surprised if he found a picture of Ilya Rozanov and showed it to her. The thought in itself is enough to make Shane horribly nervous.

“It’s new,” he says quickly. “Very new. Maybe it could be something, but I need to find out for myself first. I’ll tell you when I’m ready to tell you.”

Hayden nods approvingly. “Take your time,” he says. “We’ll be there to ask you all about her when you decide you want to talk about it.”

“Thank you, Hayden,” Shane says, relieved that Hayden, and in extension Jackie, are accepting that boundary so readily.

“I’m sure that whoever you’re thinking about is very special, Shane,” Jackie adds with a smile. “And we can’t wait to meet them.”

Whoever. Them. Is she onto him, or is this how she always talks? Suddenly, Shane can’t remember and of course worries about it. He knows now he wasn’t subtle to Hayden this morning, but is he being unsubtle now as well? Is Jackie going to tell Hayden what she suspects? Oh, who is he kidding; of course Jackie is going to tell Hayden. The two of them tell each other everything. 

Thankfully, Hayden comes through for Shane, stopping the latest spiral. “She’s gotta be very special, Hollander, since not even Rose Landry was the right fit for you.”

Jackie side-eyes Hayden. “Sometimes people love each other and still can’t make it work,” she says. “God, you’re all over Canada and the United States half of the year and Rose is just wherever she needs to be for filming. It would have been a constant long distance relationship. That’s very hard.”

“We see each other once or twice a year, as friends,” Shane agrees. “And either one of us typically has to fly out for it.”

“Does Rose have tattoos?” Hayden wonders absently, apparently still thinking about the tattoo thing.

Shane knows the answer, but he doesn’t know if he should be telling his friends that. Instead, he asks: “Where do you want your Stanley Cup tattoo, Hayd?”

Jackie throws her head back and laughs. “I really appreciate how you keep bringing that up,” she tells him. “The kids were all over that, which goes to show how much they already understand about their father. Didn’t you visit a tattoo shop? Hayden has refused to tell me much about it, which makes me suspicious.”

“I’m not telling you about it because it wasn’t that notable!” Hayden protests.

“I don’t know, you were looking at those tattoo designs rather closely, Hayd,” Shane says, sensing this is the right moment to tease him with it. 

Hayden scolds. “You were of no help either. I just had J.J. with me trying to talk me into getting every tattoo that we looked at. Where were you, anyway?”

Shane didn’t see this topic of conversation go back to him so quickly, but here they are. “I was just in the back,” he says. “I asked Roz how getting a tattoo worked and he showed me.”

“Roz?” Hayden replies, then pulls a face that Shane guesses means disgust. “I did not like that guy at all. He was a menacing asshole. Are you on a first name basis with the guy?”

The words ‘Roz is not his first name, Hayden’ are burning at the tip of his tongue, but Shane just manages to keep it in. “He was nice to me,” he says with a shrug. “It’s not like any of us will go back there, Hayden.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jackie says. “I am thinking about getting a tattoo and they are one of the best shops in Montreal according to J.J.”

It does figure that J.J. already filled Jackie in so she can get in on the fun of teasing Hayden about the potential tattoo as well. Shane can only assume he called her and that she got a play-by-play about their tattoo shop visit.

“Well, J.J. has the owner’s number if you want to come in and take a look at some designs,” Shane says. “I’m sure Roz will be nice to you as well.”

“I doubt it,” Hayden says, like he spoke more than three sentences to Ilya.

Jackie shakes her head. “I might just ask J.J.,” she says. “Thank you for mentioning it, Shane.”

The conversation drifts to potential tattoo designs after that. Thankfully nobody mentions Shane’s love life or Ilya Rozanov again. That is how he prefers any conversation to go.

When he heads back home, he can’t help but wonder what it could have been like if he’d been braver. Perhaps it’s the lonely reality of the offseason hitting him, but more and more he feels like he should message Ilya. 

In the end, there’s only one person Shane feels like he should take advice from. 

~~

His father.

It doesn’t seem like an obvious choice at first, but Shane can be a chronic overthinker and has therefore settled on it after an hour of debating pros and cons between both of his parents and Rose in his head. 

What helps make the decision is that Rose is in the middle of filming a movie in Europe, so in a very different timezone than him and therefore on a very different schedule as well. Rose will tell him she has the time and will make the time, but this isn’t one Shane really wants to disturb her with. He’ll keep that for when it inevitably backfires, whatever it ends up being.

Other than Rose, who sort of guessed that Shane was gay when they were dating, Shane is only out as gay to his parents. It was one of the most difficult things he ever had to do in his life. He was less nervous for Stanley Cup potential final matches than he was for that conversation. Ice hockey and being on the ice is Shane’s comfort zone. He knows what’s expected of him there and that he can do it. He knows how to put a puck in the back of the net. He knows how to win games and Stanley Cups. What he didn’t know at the time was how to come out to his parents.

In the end, he knew he just had to do it. He knew that the longer he waited the worse it was going to get. The summer after he dated and came out to Rose, he invited his parents to a dinner at his cottage with the full intent to tell them. He prepared the food and the house meticulously, wanting everything to be perfect. During the dinner, the courage didn’t arrive. He awkwardly stumbled his way through the dinner with the knowledge that both of his parents knew he was being odd. Neither one of them asked about it, though, probably waiting him out.

It wasn’t until they were sitting outside after dinner that Shane finally managed to broach the subject. There were some tears, both from Shane and his mother, but overall it went alright. Inevitably his mother went into her planning mode once the initial shock subsided while his father gently tried to ask him if he’d been seeing any men. Shane absolutely wasn’t going to tell either one of them about the hookups he had to try and figure out his sexuality, so the answer was a resounding no to that. 

His parents knew he had no plans of coming out anytime soon. Shane knew they didn’t like it because they wanted him to be happy, but Shane maintained that hockey made him happy. They asked him about perhaps seeing someone a few times since, but Shane always shut that down much like how he’d shut it down when they still thought he was straight. Nothing had changed there. He still wasn’t seeing anyone. He was playing hockey and he was lonely and he was fine. 

How odd then, Shane reflects, his phone in his hands, that it only took one push from Ilya Rozanov for that perfectly crafted system that worked for years to fall apart. Maybe it hadn’t been so perfectly crafted as Shane thought. Maybe it had been a house of cards that had been unsteady for a long time. Whatever it is, he needs advice on how to deal with Rozanov, and he thinks his father is his best bet for it.

Is his father at work? Should he really be calling David right now? Shane doesn’t want to disturb him. It’s not that important. It can wait until tonight, at least, and maybe until the weekend, and -

God, if he can’t even muster up the courage to ask his father for advice about a boy, following up that advice is going to be a complete disaster.

Not much of a difference from what it is now, though. A disaster sounds right to Shane’s ears. He’s not cut out for this.

He sits down on his couch, opens his contacts on his phone and calls his father’s number. He’s probably in a meeting. He must be working on something difficult and can’t pick up the phone. He’ll call back when Shane can’t call and -

“Hi, Shane,” his father greets him after picking up. “How nice to hear from you! How are you doing? How were the Stanley Cup celebrations with your team?”

“Hi, Dad,” Shane replies. “I’m alright. The Stanley Cup celebrations were good! I had a really nice time. But, um, something happened.”

Way to broach the topic without asking your father how he is, Shane.

“Something happened?” his father repeats. “Tell me all about it.”

Between his parents, it’s his father that knows how to deal with this sort of thing best. Emotional things, Shane guesses, is what he means. His mother knows all about making plans and making things work. This is not to say she doesn’t know how to deal with Shane and his emotions, but her approach is very different. 

If Shane needs help figuring something out, he goes to his father. If Shane needs help making something work he understands but doesn’t quite know how to fit in, he goes to his mother. He guesses his father is for the early stages and his mother is for the late stages. Right now it’s very early stages of a situation. 

“Hayden wanted a tattoo,” Shane says. “So we went to a tattoo store. And there was a man.”

He’s definitely not telling this story right, he reflects. Calling Ilya ‘a man’ does not do him justice at all.

So he tries again. “Ilya. His name is Ilya. He was, uh, at the shop. He works there. He likes me, I think. He gave me his number.”

That’s not much better, but at least it gets the point across. Thankfully, his father saves him from himself by asking precisely the right question.

“So do you like Ilya? Did you want his number?”

“Yes.” He wants that clear immediately. “He was nice. He was kind and charming and -” well, here goes Shane’s comfort with this conversation, “handsome. He said he thought I was the most attractive player in the league.”

“So he knows that you’re a hockey player?” Shane’s father asks. He’s either ignoring Shane’s discomfort and carrying on or he’s completely unaware of it. Shane can’t tell which it is, but he’s glad for it. “A good hockey player that plays for the Voyageurs?”

“Yes, but he’s also a hockey player,” Shane says.

Shane’s father is quiet for a moment. “So he’s a hockey player but he also works for a tattoo shop? It seems like that’s two demanding professions to combine.”

Oh. Shane understands how his father got there. “No, not like that,” he quickly says. “He used to be a hockey player. I met him when we were playing against each other during tournaments of the national youth teams. I think he played at the 2014 Sochi Olympics as well, though I’m not sure. Our countries never played against each other. But now he’s in Montreal, so I assume he quit hockey.”

“That sounds complicated,” his father said, his voice filled with an emotion that Shane can recognise as compassion. “So did you message him or call him?”

“Uh, no. That’s kind of why I’m calling you. Should I message or call him?”

“Are you asking me whether you should message him or call him or are you asking me whether you should engage with him at all or not?” his father aptly asks.

Shane winces at himself before answering the question. “The latter.”

“Well, you like him, you wanted his number, and I assume you both like hockey, since you both played it or are playing it,” Shane’s father sums up. “So if you ask me, you should engage with him.”

“But -” Shane starts and then stops. He stares at the television in front of him, currently turned off with a lack of hockey to watch, and waits for the words to come. After a moment, they do. “Dad, I’m complicated. I’m not out. I’m gone for half of the year. I’ve hardly ever been in a proper relationship before. The only relationship of note that I had was with a woman. Ilya shouldn’t want that. He shouldn’t want -” Me.

His father’s voice is as calm as ever after that waterfall of words that sounded more like a confession to Shane, looking back on it. “But he knows you’re a hockey player. And he gave you his number.”

“Yes,” Shane confirms.

“He played hockey, Shane. If he knows about the Voyageurs, I assume he knows what the NHL schedule is like. He knows what life as a pro athlete is like and what it entails. He probably knows most of the things you’re worried about because he also had to deal with them at some point and he gave you his number anyway.”

What is Shane supposed to say to that? That he assumes that Ilya wasn’t thinking it through? That Shane sort-of admitted that he was lonely and that maybe Ilya felt obligated to give him his number? That this can’t be real because this never happens to Shane?

“I don’t know, Dad,” he says with a sigh. “It seems too hard for me.”

“It’s not too hard for you,” his father replies. “You can do this, Shane. I believe in you. And - “ He pauses, gathering his words. Shane knows something is about to come out that he needs to hear, but maybe doesn’t want to hear.

“Alright, bear with me a moment. Let’s say you call him or message him. Maybe the two of you will go out. Maybe you will have something good together. Something that makes the both of you happy. And maybe if it ends, you’ll still be better for it. You’ll have tried. You’ll have learned. You’ll have experienced that. You won’t be left wondering what it could have been like. Even if it’s scary and even if it hurts, trying is better than wondering.”

Trying is better than wondering. Is it? Shane is very good at the wondering and very bad at the trying, at least when it comes to social situations like this. 

“I guess. Maybe,” Shane concedes a little.

His father takes it as the tentative victory it is. “When did you get his number? Last night?”

“Uh, no. The night before that.”

“And you haven’t called or messaged him yet,” his father says with a light sigh. 

“Did I fuck up? Is it too long ago?” Shane asks, immediately panicked.

“Not, not at all,” his father quickly says. “You get to take the time you need to figure this out, Shane. Ilya might think that you’re not interested, but that makes it all the more fun for him if you do end up messaging him.”

Right. Shane should have messaged Ilya yesterday, but his father doesn’t want to scare him out of ever trying to contact Ilya to begin with. Shane forgot how hard dating is. He constantly struggled with this kind of problem with Rose, unsure when he was supposed to text or call and unsure what to expect from her, and was very thankful when she mostly took the lead and the initiative.  

“Or,” his father continues, “you could go by the tattoo shop. See him in person. Ask him out, if that’s what you want to do.”

“I want to do that, I think,” Shane says softly. “I just - I think I really like him. So if I have to try, I think I want to try with him.”

“You don’t have to,” his father reminds him gently. “But if you want to, it sounds to me like Ilya would be open to that. And with the offseason beginning just now, you have a while to figure it out.”

Right. Shane guesses that if Ilya is serious about this, then they could at least have the summer. And while a summer romance sounds like the most un-Shane Hollander thing ever, he does like the sound of it. Maybe he can take Ilya to the cottage. Maybe they can get to know each other without any pressure or anyone having opinions about it.

He’s getting ahead of himself again, isn’t he?

“Thanks, Dad,” Shane says softly. “I really needed to hear this.” He coughs awkwardly. “Um, how are you? Was I disturbing something?”

His father laughs. “You could never disturb anything,” he promises Shane. 

~~

Shane has lunch in his apartment, trying to talk himself into going to the tattoo shop. He considers asking Hayden to come with him, but that would probably send the wrong message. Hayden does not like Ilya and Shane can see them bicker while Shane tries, to no avail, to get Ilya alone. He also has no excuse to ask Hayden to go to the tattoo shop with him. No, he has to do this one alone, unfortunately. 

After obsessing over his outfit and changing it three times (he doesn’t want to look too casual, but he also doesn’t want to look like he obsessed over what to wear, but he definitely doesn’t want to look like he put in no effort at all), he makes the drive over into the city centre and parks near the tattoo shop. Thankfully he doesn’t get recognised on the way there, or at least he doesn’t get stopped, and arrives at the shop a few minutes later.

He doesn’t think he can do this. His father said he believed in him, but what is that based on? Shane’s complete lack of experience in this department? The fact that Shane had a relationship with Rose Landry is coincidence more than anything else. He didn’t consciously do anything to cause that, he thinks. He was just at the right place at the right time thanks to J.J.

He can’t linger in front of the shop for too long or he’ll look weird, though, so he opens the door and steps inside. Neither Ilya nor Svetlana are at the front of the shop. Instead, there’s another young woman by the counter, looking at her phone. She looks up from her phone when Shane clears his throat and looks him up and down. He sees no recognition in her expression whatsoever.

“Can I help you?” she asks at last. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Uh, no,” Shane says. “I am looking for Ilya Rozanov.”

That does get a specific expression on her face, though Shane can’t interpret it. She nods. “I’ll find out if he’s here,” she says vaguely. “Please have a seat in the waiting area.”

She gestures behind Shane, so Shane dutifully makes his way over to the area where J.J. and Hayden were looking at the books with tattoo examples with Svetlana two days ago. He sinks down on the seat the most far away from the windows, hoping that no one can see him from outside, and waits. 

He gets too anxious to do nothing other than look around within ten seconds, so he gets his phone from his pocket. He answers Hayden’s messages enquiring about his business in Montreal and scrolls Instagram for a lack of anything better to do.  

Just when he starts to get sure that the woman formerly behind the counter isn’t trying to find Ilya at all and is just hoping he will leave, she appears from the back rooms again. This time she is followed by Svetlana, who grins immediately as she sees him.

“Hollander,” she says with a smile, making her way over to him. He must be welcome here if she’s responding to him like that. “It’s nice to see you again. Roz is with a customer, but he’ll be out shortly. Do you mind waiting?”

He quickly pockets his phone again. “Not at all,” he says. “Is he - Is Roz drawing a tattoo right now?” That’s not the right turn of phrase, but Svetlana makes him a bit nervous. The entire situation makes him nervous too.

“I think he’s already done,” Svetlana says, checking the watch around her wrist. “He’s going through protocols and reminding them of tattoo aftercare. He tends to do that thoroughly. He’d be done quicker if he knew you were waiting for him, but I don’t want to disturb him.”

This is something that Shane realises he already picked up on. When Ilya was explaining his job to Shane two days ago, he talked extensively about how people are supposed to care for their new tattoos to avoid infections and other problems. He was also very serious about cleaning the space and making sure it was done well.

Svetlana asks him about Hayden and J.J. and tells him about their tattoo ideas. His teammates and two best friends form a comfortable topic for Shane, so it’s easier to fall into conversation with Svetlana as he waits for Ilya. Regardless he’s keeping his eyes on the door to the back rooms, not willing to miss it when Ilya steps out.

It takes about five minutes, but then Ilya surfaces with another man that he’s in conversation with. Shane sees how Ilya scans the room and grins at him when his eyes land on Shane. Ilya grins back and winks at him before returning his full attention to the customer. He stands with the woman behind the counter and continues to engage in the conversation as the payment gets processed and even sees him out. The moment the customer is out of sight, though, Ilya makes a beeline for him.

“Shane,” he says with a smile. “You came!”

“I did,” Shane says. “I have been thinking about our conversation. Is there somewhere we can talk in private, maybe?”

“Take the break room,” Svetlana tells Ilya. “But no -” she says a word in Russian that Shane can’t hope to understand and raises her eyebrows at Ilya.

Ilya, in turn, rolls his eyes. “No, Sveta, we will just talk,” he says with a put upon sigh. “Come, Shane. I will show you to break room.”

Shane stands up, shoots Svetlana a grateful smile and follows Ilya into the shop. He takes Shane even deeper into the building this time. Shane guesses it’s a far bigger building than he initially realised. They pass through a hallway with doors on both sides and even more art on the walls and then turn to the right, where Ilya opens a door and lets Shane walk in first.

Shane hasn’t been in many buildings with a break room, but if anyone asks him what a break room looks like, this room is roughly what he has in mind. It has a table with five chairs around it, two mismatched with the rest of the set, and a kitchen block on the right side with a sink, a fridge and a counter. The walls are a calming shade of green and there’s art on the walls, as there seems to be in every room of the shop. 

“So,” Shane says as Ilya closes the door, clearing his throat. “About our conversation. I was -”

He falls silent when Ilya approaches him. Neither one of them sat down and now Ilya is slowly moving towards where Shane is standing. He’s in all dark clothes again, though this time there’s no leather jacket in sight. Instead, Ilya is wearing a dark blue denim jacket with black jeans and a dark T-shirt. He looks as handsome as the last time Shane laid eyes on him. He hasn’t imagined that then, every time he thought about Ilya in the past two days. This is actually what he looks like.

“You want to talk, yes?” Ilya says as he slowly invades Shane’s personal space. All Shane can do is nod, unsure if his voice works. “But we can make out first and then talk?” Shane nods again, but that’s not enough for Ilya. “Shane, words, please?” he asks.

Shane takes a deep breath. “Yes,” he says. “Make out first and talk after, please.”

It’s enough for Ilya. “Okay,” he says, and seconds afterwards, Shane is being kissed and gently being pinned against the wall next to the door.

Shane is pretty sure he’s never been kissed like this. Ilya kisses him like he means something despite hardly knowing him. He’s gentle and careful, but also completely unafraid. When Ilya opens his mouth against his, Shane surrenders to it. What else can he possibly be expected to do? He didn’t know how much he wanted this until it happened and now he wants nothing else. 

Sadly, Ilya does break the kiss at some point. He doesn’t remove himself out of Shane’s space at all, though. Instead, Shane gets to see up close how Ilya grins at him, his lips clearly red from all the kissing they’ve just done. Ilya’s arms wrap around him and pull him close.

“Do you think we are ready to talk now?” Ilya asks.

Boldly, Shane steals a kiss. “Yes, I think so,” he says. “Although I enjoyed the alternative as well. I wouldn’t mind doing that again.”

“Good,” Ilya says. Then he adds, smugly: “I am very good at it.”

Shane shakes his head a little. “I can’t deny that,” he says. “I like you, Ilya. And I think I want to go out with you. If you want that too.” 

The making out has definitely made him bolder, he realises. It was good, of course, but it was also such an obvious sign that Ilya wants him that not even Shane could miss it. Ilya also demonstrated perfectly that he cared about Shane by explicitly asking if he wanted to make out and waiting on an answer before going ahead with it. Shane trusts him, he realises. That might be naive and maybe too easy, but he does.

“But,” he continues, trying to be even braver and pushing through despite feeling very uncomfortable with it, “I don’t know what I can give you. I don’t know what you want, but it might not be what I have to offer. I don’t know what kind of future there is for us because of my hockey career and everything surrounding it.”

“You think that far ahead?” Ilya asks, sounding genuinely surprised.

“I do,” Shane replies. “When it’s important, I always do.”

“Then we figure something out, yes?” Ilya says. “Hockey culture is not easy. I know this. But not everything is not easy. What I feel for you is -” He gestures towards Shane, clearly trying to find the words. “Not simple, I don’t think, but very clear. And it is bigger than hockey culture.”

“So you think you can deal with my hockey career?” Shane asks, needing to be sure. “You’re okay with it if I don’t want to come out anytime soon?”

“We can be together without telling everyone that plays hockey, yes?” Ilya asks playfully. “If we are together, I mean. If date goes well.”

Right. Shane is getting ahead of himself again. Here he is trying to figure out a future where he can be with Ilya for many years, while they haven’t even gone on the first date yet. 

He takes a deep breath. “Ilya, do you want to go out with me?”

“Yes,” Ilya simply says, grinning again. “Very much.” It takes a beat before he goes back into his playful, teasing mode that Shane is slowly starting to recognise. “Are you going to take me to cinema? Will we eat in a restaurant?”

Shane guesses that an actual date complicates things, because it means they will be seen together. That’s pretty much what he wants to avoid because he doesn’t want anyone finding out about his sexuality and potentially him and Ilya together. But, he considers, he’s seen out plenty of times with Hayden and J.J. and other guys on the team. No one ever made anything of that. Ilya, as another former hockey player, could just be another person that Shane happens to spend time with. He’s sure Ilya knows how to be discreet. 

And he knows just what they should do for the date too. “Actually, I was thinking we could go ice-skating,” he says with a grin. “Do you still have skates?”

Ilya nods. “I still skate sometimes. Sometimes with Svetlana, sometimes alone.”

He doesn’t comment on the fact that Shane insinuated that he knows he used to be a hockey player. Maybe he doesn’t want to get into it, Shane reckons, or maybe it’s so matter-of-fact to him that it doesn’t interest him enough to comment on it. 

“Good,” Shane says. “That’s good. How is tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is good,” Ilya says, copying Shane’s choice of words with a light grin on his face. “I will pick you up from house. Message me the address.”

“I will,” Shane says, grinning stupidly about it.

Then, because they’re still in each other’s space after their make-out session, he leans in to kiss Ilya again. It’s a kiss that Ilya happily accepts, one of his hands going into Shane’s hair while the other one pulls Shane closer towards him. It quickly escalates into another full making out session. 

When Shane leaves the shop a little bit later, because Ilya still has a few customers, he’s very happy and proud of himself. His father was right. He could do it. He didn’t think he had it in him, but he did, and he also got to kiss a handsome man twice. 

He messages his father. I have a date tomorrow!

The reaction is almost instant. I’m so proud of you!

He can’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

Chapter 2: The date

Shane asked out people before. He asked out his high school girlfriend. He asked out Rose, of course. In both cases it was very obvious that they wanted him to ask and the question was a formality more than anything. It was what he was supposed to do, because that was how it worked. The boy was supposed to ask the girl out. So he did and they said yes and he went out with them. And in both cases it didn’t last because he wasn’t actually into women.

It isn’t like he has never been with a man either. He’s been with men. He sort of knows what he’s doing. He has just never been on a date with a man or dated a man and now he has twenty-four hours to think about that.

To freak out about that, if he’s being specific. 

After the initial excitement, which lasted until the drive home, Shane goes back to overthinking. At least one thing is very clear: Ilya wants to go out with him. Ilya definitely finds him attractive, because Shane doesn’t think that Ilya would have asked to make out if he doesn’t. Ilya also seems to like talking to him, which he guesses is the other requirement for a date. 

With the most pressing issue (the issue being ‘does the person I asked out actually like me?’) mostly out of the way, Shane moves onto the next set of issues. What does he wear during a date like this? Does Ilya expect them to go for coffee after ice skating? Or does he expect dinner? Is Shane supposed to cook dinner or is he supposed to take Ilya to a restaurant? Does Ilya have allergies he needs to keep in mind?

Needless to say, Shane doesn’t need help spiraling. His brain does a very good job at that by itself. Shane likes to think he’s detail-oriented. What that means right now is that his brain goes over every single detail that could go wrong. 

What if they’re recognised on the rink and someone draws the conclusion that they’re on a date? He thought when he suggested it that such a thing would never happen, but now that he’s thinking it through again he’s starting to doubt. 

Captaining three Stanley Cup winning seasons is enough to be recognised in Montreal. Then there’s the ad campaigns that he shoots during the offseason that people sometimes recognise him from as well. And especially at a skating rink, a location he is known for, people will know who Shane is.

Ilya, on the other hand, is handsome. Shane assumes this is an objective fact. Anyone who sees him on a skating rink is going to assume he’s on a date with someone.  When they see Shane with him, shouldn’t the conclusion be obvious?

He’s really spiraling. To put a stop to it, Shane messages Rose as he’s making dinner. What am I supposed to wear to a date to the skating rink?

Shane knows that Rose is currently shooting a movie. It’s hard to catch her on a day when she isn’t shooting a movie or doing press for a movie. She explained to him once that she wants to capitalize on the momentum she has going on right now and keep working. Shane thinks her approach is working from what he understands from it. The X-Squad movies are very talked about, at least in ice hockey circles. 

Regardless of her busy schedule, Rose responds to his message with a request for a video call. Shane just put his dinner in the oven, so he sits down by the dinner table before he answers her call.

She smiles at him immediately as the call connects. “Shane! You have a date?” she asks, her genuine excitement obvious. God, he loves her. “Who asked you out? I need details, pronto.”

It does figure that she doesn’t just want to answer his question. He guesses the date is not usual for him and therefore she’s probably confused. He did learn from the conversation with his father, though, so he says: “I thought you would be shooting! Where are you?”

“Oh, I’m in my trailer,” Rose explains. She turns her phone so he can take a look at her trailer before flipping the phone back to herself. “They’re setting some things up on set. I was planning to go over my script for the umpteenth time, but this is far more interesting. So tell me about this date!”

So Shane explains again that Hayden wanted a tattoo and that they went to a tattoo shop. Rose is intently listening to every word, but she doesn’t have any sort of response when Shane mentions the tattoo artist that also came in. It isn’t until Shane gets into the conversation he had with Ilya while calling him Ilya that something starts to dawn with her.

“Wait,” she says. “You have a date with a tattoo artist named Ilya?”

“He’s also a former hockey player,” Shane says. “He quit at some point, I think, and became a tattoo artist. I’m not sure how that happened, so it’s one of those things I might have to ask about.” If he has the guts, that is, so it’s debatable if he will ask.

Rose squeals. “He’s perfect!” she says, like she met him and talked with him for half an hour before making up her mind, instead of hearing half a story about their first meeting from Shane. “You both know hockey and I assume like hockey, so you have that in common. But he also has his own things going on, which is such a good thing! He’s clearly artistic, he lives in the same city as you, and -” she narrows her eyes a little then. “Shane. Is he hot?”

“What,” he splutters, like they’ve never talked about which men they find attractive before. “Yes, he’s handsome. He’s -” he’s trying not to say the word, but with Rose he has to, “hot. He’s hot, alright?”

“Good,” she says, sounding satisfied. “I like the sound of this guy. So he asked you out? The skating rink makes so much more sense now.”

A lot to unpack there (apparently the skating rink didn’t make sense before the context that Ilya was a former hockey player?), but Shane focuses on the question she asked. “No, I asked him out.”

“You asked him out?” Rose repeats, sounding… Maybe surprised. Maybe sceptical.

“Yes!” Shane says. “I went back to the tattoo shop, asked for him and asked him out. And then suggested the skating rink.”

“So did you also get his number?” Rose asks.

“He gave it to me the first time we met,” Shane says. “He was flirting with me, I think.”

Rose slowly starts to grin. “Ah, I see how that happened,” she says, as if suddenly understanding the situation a lot better. “And now you have to figure out what to wear to a rink, as if you’ve hardly spent any time on a rink before.”

“Not in this context, I haven’t,” Shane says. 

She nods thoughtfully. “Right, being on the ice is always work for you,” she muses. “That doesn’t mean it’s not fun, of course! My work is on set and I can also have fun on set. But you do have to differentiate, so you can’t wear anything athletic.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Shane says. That’s exactly what he’s been trying to step away from after being with Rose. He always looked like he was on his way to work or on his way back from work, even on his days off. She always looked good. “I want to make a good impression without reinforcing that I’m a hockey player, you know?”

“I do know, and I love that for you,” Rose tells him. “Okay, here’s a thought. You can never go wrong with jeans. You can move in them and they’re warm enough for a temperature-controlled environment like an ice skating rink. I think you should pair it with a long-sleeved shirt or maybe a half-zip sweater. Just not too warm, because you’ll want to wear a jacket over it.”

“Like a winter coat?” Shane asks, not entirely sure if he understands what she’s getting at.

“No, not exactly,” Rose says. “Just the same jacket you would wear out right now as well.”

He tries to piece it together in his mind and thinks he can probably work with it. He’ll put the clothes aside tonight so he can check in with Rose once more before tomorrow. It’ll be one less thing to worry about.

“Thank you,” he says earnestly. “You’ve been really helpful, Rose.”

“You can always call me, Shane,” she reminds him. “Now tell me more about this guy. What is he like?”

Shane considers this again. When his father asked him about Ilya, Shane said he was nice and kind. It was the sort of answer that a parent should get. It’s the truth, but it paints Ilya as someone who is a good person for their child to be with. He doubts that Rose wants the same sort of information from him.

“He is very direct,” Shane says. “Very blunt, almost, though I do think that he’s not someone who just says what they’re thinking without thinking it through first.” No, if anything Ilya sees Shane think through his words a lot. He just doesn’t mince them.

“And is that something that you like about him?” Rose asks.

Shane nods. “Most people aren’t like that,” he says. “But I like it about him. I think it fits him. It makes it easier for me to understand him, at least so far.”

“I’m inclined to see it as a good sign that he’s good at communicating,” Rose says, her approval clear. “Oh, can you send me a picture? I need to see him for myself.”

“Where would I get a picture?” Shane asks.

“Does he not have a profile picture?” Rose asks. “You could also take a picture tomorrow to commemorate your first date. You should do that anyway, even if you don’t end up sending it to me. You could use it for your engagement announcement on Instagram in five years’ time.”

“God, and I thought I was thinking ahead.”

“I can help you figure out your outfit for that too, though!”

Shane shakes his head at her. “Let me just get through this first date first without embarrassing myself,” he says, finding it a very real possibility that he would. It’s his first real date that will actually mean something. 

“You’ll be great,” Rose says loyally. “You worry too much, Shane.”

At that point someone knocks on the door of Rose’s trailer. Shane sees her look at someone off-screen and he vaguely hears them say something to her. Rose responds with “I’ll be there soon!” before turning back to the screen. 

“I’m serious,” she says. “You’ll be great. You’ll have the best first date. Just message me how it went afterwards, alright? I want all the details, Shane.”

“I will message you,” he promises her. “Thank you, Rose.”

They say their goodbyes and Rose disappears from his screen. Shane leans against the back of his chair and concludes that maybe, if he has to trust anyone to tell him the truth about his dating skills, it has to be Rose Landry. She went on multiple dates with him and they’re still friends. He doesn’t want to be friends with Ilya but he’ll take it as a result if that’s how it ends up. He can be sociable. He can connect with someone. He can do this.

~~

He manages not to obsess too much about his date in the hours that follow. He eats his dinner, watches a rerun of a hockey match and reads a few chapters of his latest hockey book before calling it a night early. Sleep thankfully comes quickly, saving him from another hour of overthinking.

In the morning, after Shane has breakfast, goes for a run and showers, he messages Ilya. Ilya promises to pick him up and needs his address to do that, so Shane messages his address. After a quick moment of hesitation, he adds Are we still on for 3:30?

No response.

He picks his book back up and reads another chapter. Still no response. He gets a ginger ale from the fridge and checks his messages again. Still nothing.

Shit. Did he come on too strong? Did he not come on strong enough? Was it too much to show up at Ilya’s place of work? Did he take too long getting back to Ilya?

His phone chimes. Thank God.

It’s Ilya. Of course! I look forward to it is his first message. He follows it up with One more client after lunch and then I am all yours. Then, as if he senses that Shane is spiraling, another message follows. Small piece. Won’t take long. Deserves all the attention though.

Oh. Shane suddenly realises what happened. He was mildly overthinking the fact that Ilya wasn’t messaging him back, but Ilya was at work. Of course he’s not going to be checking his messages when he’s putting a needle against someone’s skin or discussing tattoos with a new client. His attention should be with his client. 

I’ll catch you at 3:30 then! Shane replies.

Then he goes back to his book. He definitely doesn’t check his phone every ten to fifteen minutes, just in case.

~~

Shane is always early. He’s never been late to anything in his life. His mother always told him that it was important to be on time. She emphasized that it was important to be respectful of other people’s time, but of his own time as well. Right now Shane doesn’t have much going on, it being the offseason and all, but during the season his time is scheduled and sometimes scarce. He needs to do things by his schedule or he might miss out on something else important.

For today it means that he’s pacing back and forth in front of his apartment building ten minutes before the agreed upon time, skates in his bag and his keys and wallet in the pocket of the blue jeans Rose recommended to him. 

Five minutes before Shane expects Ilya, a green sports car pulls up into the parking lot. Shane watches with slight surprise (which one of his neighbours bought that thing to drive in Montreal?) how the car, which he recognises as an Aston Martin as it gets closer, gets parked. The owner gets out and looks around.

It’s Ilya.

He’s wearing the same leather jacket as last time, but this time seemingly paired it with a dark blue sweater and grey pair of jeans. He looks perfect. Shane wants to kiss him. Badly.

“What kind of car is that?” Shane asks without even greeting him. The words are out before he knows it. He would take it back if he could, but he can’t.

Thankfully, Ilya just laughs as his eyes land on Shane. “It’s a fun car, Hollander!” he says. “It’s summer. It’s time for fun cars. What kind of car do you own?”

“A Jeep,” Shane replies. “It’s good in the snow. It’s Montreal. What else do I need?” 

Ilya shakes his head. “Ah, makes sense,” he says, like that single detail tells him everything about Shane that he needs to know. “Will you get into this fun car with me, or are you afraid we will slip in the snow?” He pointedly looks around, as if to point out that the snow obviously isn’t present in Montreal right now.

Shane makes his way over to Ilya while shaking his head at him. Ilya merely grins and opens the passenger seat door with a flourish before taking Shane’s bag. It’s very gallant.  

When he sits down beside Shane and starts the car, he says: “You know, you can drive less boring car that is also good in snow. I can ask Svetlana to give you the number of a good dealership. They are very good at cars.”

“No, thank you, I’m fine with my Jeep,” Shane declines. “I just want my car to be practical and it is. It doesn’t need to be -” Green and flashy and drawing a lot of attention everywhere? “Fun and fast.”

Ilya shrugs as he drives off the parking lot. “Your loss,” he says cheerfully. “You probably skate faster than your car drives, yes?”

“I wasn’t planning on it today,” Shane says. “A skating competition is fun, but not for a date.” 

Ilya shrugs again. He keeps his eyes on the road. Shane notices that he already filled in the address of the public rink in his GPS. He’s driving slightly over the speed limit, but not to such an extent that it makes Shane uncomfortable. 

Shane replays their conversation in his head and settles on a topic he reckons he can ask about without touching on something that Ilya might not want to discuss. “So Svetlana, is she your boss?”

Ilya laughs. “No, no,” he says, then frowns. “Maybe. I think technically, yes? But Svetlana is my friend. We have been friends for a long time. She is great. She knows a lot about tattoos and hockey and cars.”

All things that Ilya likes too, Shane guesses. “You must have a lot in common.”

“We do,” Ilya confirms. “One of the reasons we get along. But we are not lovers.” He looks aside at Shane for a moment. “Svetlana is a friend. A very good friend. Like -” He gestures with his right hand, currently not on the steering wheel. “Hayden and J.J. They are your friends?”

“They are,” Shane says. “They’re my teammates, of course, but they’re also my friends. I think they are the two best friends I have.”

“Did Hayden decide on tattoo?” Ilya wonders. 

Shane shakes his head. “No, his wife told him he should get tattoos for all of his kids too. He has four of them, like he mentioned. I think that scared him a little. He’s not ready to get five tattoos.”

“Is a big commitment,” Ilya agrees. “A lot of people get birth dates of their kids. I like that. You could recommend it to Hayden.” He is grinning widely, leading Shane to believe he just wants to see Hayden splutter. 

Shane knows just what to do. He lapses into the story of his dinner at the Pike household and the way Hayden’s kids responded to the idea of him getting a tattoo of the Stanley Cup. Ilya is delighted by this story, according to the shape of his grin and the way he asks questions like he needs to know every detail of the conversation. 

They banter like that for the rest of the way to the rink and arrive within no time at all. Shane isn’t even that bothered by the way that some people are looking at Ilya’s car and who is stepping out of it; he’s far too taken by the owner of the ridiculous car, just like he should be.

~~

Ilya has his own skates. They’re good skates; not the brand that Shane uses, but he recognises good skates when he sees them. Ilya sits down beside Shane on the small bench in the middle of the rink to put them on and actually does so faster than Shane manages it, leading Shane to believe he must still be skating often.

Should he be asking why Ilya quit ice hockey? He isn’t sure if that’s an appropriate topic for a first date. He is focused on not bringing up anything that might be uncomfortable for Ilya, so he prepared a list of topics beforehand. It isn’t a very inspired list - tattoos, Svetlana, music - but he can add two more topics based on the conversation in the car alone, so he reckons it’ll be fine. Ilya himself is an easy talker, definitely easier than Shane, so Shane doesn’t worry too much about that.

Ilya waits for him on the bench and even lets Shane go into the ice first. Despite it being a public skating rink instead of the ice of the Montreal Voyageurs’ ice, Shane feels at home immediately. This is where he is in his element. 

Ilya, for his part, takes off on the ice much like he does in his car. Shane watches in amusement how Ilya speeds away before turning back to Shane, a grin on his face. 

“I did not forget about you,” Ilya tells him. “Just needed to get the feeling of the ice back.”

“You have nice skates,” Shane says. “I thought you’d still be skating a lot.”

“I do it more in winter,” Ilya explains. “In summer I do running and the gym more. Ice in the summer does not make sense to me.”

Shane can relate to that feeling. He plays a sport professionally that’s inherently part of the winter. They do play in certain places that are warm even in the winter - Phoenix, Tampa Bay and Miami, for example - but he associates the season with the winter regardless. 

They start their first lap around the rink at a slow pace. Around them a lot of different people are skating too. It’s small children trying their hand at skating for the first time, always with their parents near, and teenagers having fun with their friends on the ice. On the outer rink are the faster skaters, ranging from teenagers there to exercise to people who have clearly been doing this for decades. 

No one is looking at them. They’re just two guys skating on a public rink in Montreal. 

“This is nice,” Shane says when they’re almost halfway through their first lap. “It’s nice to blend in with the crowd and not be the Montreal ice hockey captain.”

“You are not sad that no one asked for a selfie?” Ilya asks.

“No, not at all,” Shane says. 

“Well, that is too bad,” Ilya replies. “I would have liked a selfie with you.”

And how can Shane resist that? Rose wanted him to take a picture, anyway, and now Shane can send her a recent picture from the two of them together. It also wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to commemorate the date.

“Fine,” Shane says, like he’s doing Ilya a favor. “Take a picture.”

“We must do this properly,” Ilya says.

Before Shane can ask what he means by that, he’s already skating away to the person most near to them to ask them to take their picture. It’s a man in his thirties who smiles brightly at him and nods immediately upon hearing his request. He has no idea who Shane is according to the way he looks over. They pose for the picture, standing close by each other, and for the last one they wrap their arms around each other. 

Ilya gets his phone back and the two of them immediately look at the pictures. Shane doesn’t think he photographs particularly well, but he’s mostly looking at Ilya. Ilya looks good in every picture. Shane is especially fond of the last picture of the batch. They look good together.

“You have to send those to me,” Shane says.

Ilya grins. “Oh, now the celebrity wants the pictures with me, yes?” he teases. “I have your number. I will send you all of them later.”

They continue on to their second lap around the rink, picking up the pace a bit. They could easily keep up with the skaters on the outer rink, but that’s not the point of this date. They’re supposed to get to know each other or something.

Ilya seems deep in thought and Shane is hesitant to disturb him to ask about something as mundane as music or cars. He wants to know these things, what Ilya’s favourite genre of music is and if he has another ridiculous car, but he also wants to give Ilya the space he needs.

He should have asked regardless, because he’s not at all prepared for the next thing that comes out of Ilya Rozanov’s mouth. “You know Scott Hunter, yes?”

“The captain of the New York Admirals?” Shake asks.

“Yes,” Ilya replies, not elaborating.

Obviously Shane has an inkling why Ilya could be asking about Hunter out of all players in the NHL. Scott Hunter is still the only openly gay player in the league. Some players, Shane is pretty sure, have come out after they played in the NHL, but definitely not during their active playing career. Shane has considered being the second player to come out, but he hasn’t taken any further steps in that direction yet. 

“I’ve talked with him a few times throughout the years,” Shane says vaguely. “I sent him an email after he came out, to thank him for being so brave.” Before Ilya can get the wrong idea about that, he adds: “He doesn’t know about me, though. Not many people do. Just my parents and my best friend Rose.”

“He is brave,” Ilya agrees. “Also very old. And bad at hockey.”

Shane has to do a double take after Ilya says this, but Ilya is still calmly skating beside him like he’s said nothing out of the ordinary. 

When Shane doesn’t respond, he says: “What? Is truth. He won one Stanley Cup multiple years ago when he was already old. It was just luck. Now he’s even older and I think the only reason he is still playing is because of his contract.”

He’s so genuine that Shane can’t do anything else but start laughing. “He’s one of the best centers in the league, Ilya!”

Ilya dismisses this with a gesture of his hand. “I would have been better center than Scott Hunter if I still played. No problem.”

“But now you’re one of the best tattoo artists in Canada,” Shane says, wondering if this is when Ilya will tell him why he quit hockey now. He knows that Shane figured out that he used to play hockey, but neither one of them has commented on it.

Ilya does no such thing, though. “Ah, yes, also true,” he nods. “Not just one of the best. The very best. People travel from all over the country just to get a tattoo done by me.”

Is that true? Shane has no idea. Ilya seems confident in his abilities, both in hockey and in the tattoos he does, and while he’s definitely exaggerating some, he can only see Ilya be good at something he’s so passionate about. He’d make sure of it.

“Scott Hunter should get a tattoo done by me,” Ilya says. “That would make him just a bit less boring. Not much, just a bit.” He shrugs, then adds: “Coming out was not boring, though. He made a hockey culture problem very visible. Do you think it changed anything?”

Shane hears what Ilya isn’t asking: if it changed anything for Shane personally. If he thinks about coming out differently now than he has before.

“It made me hopeful,” Shane says. “What Hunter did made a lot of people a lot more aware of the homophobia in the locker rooms and around the NHL in general. That’s a great first step. Players that mean well but aren’t homophobic are definitely watching their language and being more careful. Some of them still aren’t, though.” 

“Some of them are just assholes, I think,” Ilya offers.

Feeling brave too, Shane adds, “It definitely made me think about myself and what I want to do, but I don’t know if I’m there yet. I don’t want anything to change. I’m at the top of my game.”

“Sometimes change is good, though,” Ilya says. 

Shane doesn’t like change. He wins Stanley Cups when he sticks to his routines. He eats the same thing for breakfast, uses the same glass to drink his smoothies out of and goes to bed at the exact same time as always after going through the same nighttime ritual as always. It works for him. He doesn’t think change is good, because he doesn’t adjust very quickly or very well, and it messes with him.

He guesses that he did change his routine, though. Usually he would have been at his cottage in Ottawa by now. It’s such a notable change that Hayden remarked on it immediately. The reason he did that is skating next to him and Shane regrets nothing about it, interestingly.

“Sometimes change is good,” Shane tentatively agrees. “If it’s you, I mean. Change is good if the change is you.”

Ilya grins at him. “I am exception to more rules,” he tells Shane. “You should get used to it.”

The implication that Ilya is sticking around long enough for Shane to get used to anything at all about Ilya makes him absurdly happy.

“I don’t get used to things very fast, though,” Shane says. 

“Is okay,” Ilya says. “We have time.”

~~

While Shane was very anxious initially about his skating rink first date with a man, he has to admit that it actually went well. The conversation between he and Ilya flowed easily, going over both easier and more difficult subjects, and no one seemed to have recognised Shane on the rink. They skated together and talked, then grabbed a cup of coffee at the cafe by the rink and talked some more. 

He’s genuinely disappointed when they leave the cafe and head back to Ilya’s ridiculous car. It’s not something that happens often, if at all, when Shane is on a social outing. Usually he’s relieved to get to go home, regardless of how good of a time he was having.

His disappointment melts away like ice melting under the sun when Ilya leans against his car and suggests: “Do you want to come home with me?”

“Do you mean for dinner?” Shane asks. “Are you going to cook for me?”

Ilya grins. “Sure,” he says. “I can make a very good dinner for you. But actually I was thinking about something else first, maybe?”

“Something else?” Shane asks.

“Yes, something else,” Ilya repeats, gesturing with his hands to explain what he means. “We were skating for a long time. This is exercise. And after exercise, you need to shower. We can shower at my place.”

Oh. Something else.

Shane is thankful that the blush creeping up on his cheeks can be written off due to the fact that he has just been skating for over an hour. It’s clearly just the exercise that means his cheeks are pink now. It’s definitely not the idea that Ilya wants him naked underneath the shower. 

He nods seriously. “Yes, that’s good thinking,” he says, almost stumbling over his words. “I definitely need a shower.” He frowns then. “I didn’t bring any spare clothes, though!”

Ilya just laughs. “Is okay,” he says. “You can borrow some of mine.”

Shane nods. “That sounds good,” he says. “Let’s go to your place.”

And so Ilya drives to his own place rather than back to Shane’s apartment. They engage in a casual conversation on the way back, talking about living in Montreal and spending time in Boston, but the air feels different. It feels charged. Electric, maybe.

Formerly Shane wouldn’t have known what to do with that. He knows dates come with expectations. He also knows that he’s just expected to know these things, even if he doesn’t always. Having formerly only dated women makes it even harder, because even if the expectations and the plans were clear, Shane was still very uncomfortable about most of it. 

Now he’s still nervous about it, but at least he knows what it means. Ilya has constantly been nothing but clear with him, outspoken and direct, and Shane knows exactly what to expect from him now. Ilya also consistently waits to hear what Shane wants and what he has to say. Shane feels nothing but safe and understood with him. He wants what Ilya is offering. He wants it so much, in fact, that he hardly knows what to do with himself. 

Ilya turns out to live in an apartment building as well. He lives on the first floor. From what Shane can see of it, it’s surprisingly spacious. He has no idea what Ilya makes as a tattoo artist and what he took with him from his salary as a hockey player in Russia, but he guesses he isn’t doing too badly for himself. 

“Do you share an apartment with Svetlana?” he asks.

Ilya laughs and shakes his head. “No, no,”  he says. “We moved to Montreal from Boston together, yes, but we do not live together. We just work together now.”

Shane takes off his shoes, hangs his jacket on the peg and follows Ilya further into the apartment. They walk into an open plan kitchen and living room, with a dinner table with a lot of sketches on it and a living room with a large couch in front of an obscenely large television. 

Shane gets the feeling from the art on the walls and the choice of furniture that Ilya decorated his apartment himself. Shane hired a designer to get his apartment designed for him. It just wasn’t a topic he wanted to spend a lot of hours on, even in the offseason. Ilya’s apartment looks more lived in somehow, clearly designed in a way that makes sense to Ilya personally, but also clearly intended as a space he wants to live in for years to come.

“It’s nice,” Shane offers. “Nice television.”

“Good for watching ice hockey,” Ilya says with a grin. “I have a good view for when pretty boys that play for Montreal score hattricks.”

Shane just has enough wits about him to tease Ilya. “Hayden does score a hattrick every now and then.”

Ilya groans and, much to Shane’s delight, even facepalms. He makes his way over to Shane while gesturing dramatically. “No, Shane, Hayden Pike is not who I am watching. You know this, yes? Pike is like -” he pauses to think about it, “Montreal’s fifteenth best player! He should not be on a line with you!”

“Hayden scored a goal in game seven!”

“Pike is one of the reasons you needed game seven.”

Shane wants to stick up for Hayden. He really does. Hayden definitely isn’t the fifteenth best player. He’s not their best or second best player, but he’s definitely a solid top ten, during some weeks even top five! He can’t protest, though, because at that point Ilya is in his personal space and leaning in and Shane is very distracted.

Ilya kisses him with the same singlemindedness that Shane felt the first time. He kisses like Shane is his only focus and making Shane feel good is the only thing he cares about. Shane is still sure that no one else has ever kissed him like this before. The women he’s dated or the men he clumsily hooked up with have nothing on this. 

When the kiss breaks, Ilya grins at him. “I was more interested in kissing you than talking about hockey,” he says. “Do you still want to shower with me?”

There’s that direct communication again that Shane is starting to appreciate more and more. “Yes, I still want to shower with you,” he confirms, leaning in to kiss Ilya once more. “And borrow your clothes and eat your dinner.”

“All good things,” Ilya agrees. “Do you know that when I said shower, I meant together, yes? Making each other feel good?”

Shane laughs. “I know,” he says, “but I really appreciate you clarifying. Yes, I want to touch you in the shower. I want you to touch me in the shower.  I want to have sex with you in the shower, Ilya.”

“Good,” he says, then sighs a long-suffering sigh as he offers his hand for Shane to take. “You know, English is hard,” he says. “A lot of the time if I mention sex, people assume fucking them. As in, you know, penetration. But that is not what I mean! Shower is not good for that sort of thing, Shane.”

Shane takes his hand, feeling giddy. “I wouldn’t know,” he says honestly. “I’ve never been with anyone in the shower.”

That seems to make Ilya pause. “You have been with men before?” he asks.

“Yes,” Shane confirms. “Not often, but it’s not new to me. Since we’re going to be in the shower, I’m more than comfortable with it.”

Ilya seemingly considers this. Maybe he understands what Shane isn’t saying: that Ilya has made it very clear that there will be no penetrative sex and that that’s the thing that Shane would be nervous about. He wants to, but he wouldn’t mind postponing it to a potential future date. He wants to work up to it.

“Okay,” he says. “Good. As long as you are comfortable.”

Ilya leads the way to his bedroom, Shane’s hand firmly in his. They undress each other slowly. Ilya smiles fondly when Shane catches half of his clothes before they drop to the floor and folds up the clothes he intends to put back on when he leaves here. They make out between every two or three pieces of clothing, unhurried and comfortable.

When Shane takes Ilya’s shirt off, he finally gets to see what he asked Ilya about that first evening in the tattoo shop. He has a bear tattoo on his left pec, prominent and almost surprising. On his right arm are the beginnings of what is undoubtedly shaping up to be a tattoo sleeve. 

“I thought you’d be covered in tattoos,” Shane admits.

Ilya shakes his head. “I’m saving space for meaningful things,” he says before dipping his head down for another kiss. 

Shane looks at him again when the kiss breaks. This time his eye falls on the cross on a chain around Ilya’s neck. He’s noticed the chain before, but never saw the cross on it until now. Shane immediately decides not to comment on it or ask about it. Not now. Ilya doesn’t strike him as especially religious, but there must be a reason why he carries the cross with him the way he does.

Instead he kisses Ilya again and again before Ilya takes charge and leads him along into his ensuite bathroom. They get rid of their boxer shorts and socks (in Shane’s case) and Shane follows Ilya into the shower, where the making out continues underneath the shower. When Shane finally dares to let his hands wander below Ilya’s waist, he is rewarded with a breathy moan and his name on Ilya’s lips like a curse. 

As Ilya comes over Shane’s hands, Shane decides that next time, he wants to be on his knees. He wants Ilya’s dick in his mouth. He wants Ilya to come down his throat.

God, how presumptuous to assume there will be a next time. 

But when Ilya gets down on his knees in front of Shane and swallows him down, Shane feels like he might be right. When Ilya proves he is very skilled with his mouth, Shane hazily concludes that maybe Ilya wanted this as much as Shane did. And when Ilya makes him come embarrassingly fast, decidedly not pulling away despite Shane’s attempts at warnings, Shane doesn’t have any thought other than so this is what it feels like.

After using an extreme amount of shower gel on each other and rinsing it all off, they dry off and crash into bed together. Lazy and soft kisses are the order of the day before dinner. Ilya whispers sweet nothings into his ear, in Russian and English both, and Shane relaxes into all of it, boneless and comfortable like he’s never been before. 

He never wants to leave here. He never wanted anything like he wanted to play hockey before. It’s scary, but since he has it now, it’s also perfect. The freakout later is inevitable, but for now he leans into it, content like he’s never been before.

Chapter 3: The aftermath

Chapter Notes

In the morning, Shane wakes up in Ilya’s apartment. It’s a surprising development to say the least, but in some ways it also feels inevitable. Shane has never met someone like Ilya. Shane has never felt so comfortable and seen with anyone before. Shane has never wanted to be around someone as much as he wanted to be around Ilya. 

Being with Ilya feels dangerous. It feels like something he’s wanted for a long time is now suddenly within reach and he doesn’t know what to do about that.

It feels like he suddenly entered a situation where there are rules that he doesn’t know, but if he does well he gets everything he’s wanted. If he doesn’t do well, though, he just gets the memories and the what ifs, a fate Shane doesn’t want to resign himself to but might have to. 

He’s been left alone in Ilya’s bed, but Ilya warned him about this potentially happening the previous evening. Ilya has one more client today, someone that wanted an appointment with him specifically but they had a hard time fitting them into the schedule, so Ilya offered to come in on one of his days off. 

Shane is slowly learning that’s typically Ilya; he’s always looking out for other people and always making sure they are well. Just yesterday he saw Ilya warn a small boy that the laces of his skates were undone and, after checking in with the boy’s mother at the side of the rink, quickly did the laces again. Shane had all sorts of feelings about the interaction he decidedly couldn’t get into with himself.

He can hear Ilya walk around in the rest of the apartment, probably making himself breakfast and getting his stuff before heading out. Ilya insisted about ten times that he wants more time with Shane and that Shane should therefore stay in his apartment. That was hard to argue with, especially after the best blowjob Shane has ever had, the meal that Ilya prepared for him afterwards and the way they cuddled on the couch as they watched a rerun of a game. 

He falls asleep again, comfortably drowsing in and out of sleep in a way he just isn’t capable of in his own bed, and finds himself awake again when he hears the front door open and close. Ilya left. Shane is alone in his apartment. He’s comfortable and warm, so he falls back asleep for a third time.

Shane isn’t usually one for lazing in bed, often too restless to do so, so he’s surprised when he wakes up for a third time without feeling any guilt or shame about it. He reckons that it is the offseason, of course, and that they had a very long playoff run. His body deserves the recovery time. He’s allowed, he reminds himself, to take some time that he isn’t spending on hockey. He’s going to be better for it, even.

Alas, he’s awake now and he doesn’t think he’ll fall asleep for a fourth time. Shane isn’t much of a social media scroller or an in bed YouTube watcher, so he surfaces from the bed. He puts on the clothes he borrowed from Ilya the evening before and slips his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants. Without thinking about it too much he makes his way over to the kitchen. The kitchen has a modern look, with dark tones, very minimalist and very few items on the counter. 

On the kitchen counter he finds a handwritten note.

Shane,

Help yourself to anything you need. Coffee is in cupboard above coffee machine. TV remote is on coffee table. I will be back soon.

xx Ilya

Shane reads and rereads the note, neatly folds it up and slips it in the pocket of his sweatpants.

He locates the coffee easily enough, though doubts whether or not he wants to drink it. His diet allows coffee, but he finds himself preferring tea. He doesn’t need to open any other cupboards to find it, since he locates Ilya’s selection of tea right next to the coffee. Most of them are definitely Russian tea, considering the different characters on the tea, but Shane assumes making tea is a universal process.

As the water is boiling, Shane heads over to the dining table. It looks like Ilya made an attempt to tidy up at least a little; some of the drawings that Shane spotted the previous day are gone, whereas most others are in a neat pile by the side of the table. Shane doesn’t want to pry, of course, but he is curious, and he wants to know more.

Ilya has been nothing but open and seemingly honest with him, but Shane has noticed there are some topics he doesn’t engage with. He asked questions when Shane mentioned that he talked to his father, but when Shane returns the questions about his family, Ilya simply tells him that he doesn’t talk to them and leaves it at that. 

There are topics that Ilya is more comfortable with, like his current work and of course Svetlana. Shane has deduced that Ilya is close with Svetlana and that they probably dated at some point, but that they absolutely aren’t now. Shane also knows that Ilya is very good at his job and that customers specifically come in to see him. He still doesn’t know how Ilya ended up in Montreal as a tattoo artist, rather than a hockey player in the draft and going to whatever city belonged to the team that drafted him.

Tattoos are a safe topic for Ilya, so Shane decides it can’t be too much of a problem if he looks at a few drawings. Ilya did tidy up, so Shane assumes that if Ilya didn’t want him to see something he would have removed it from immediate sight. 

To Shane’s surprise, the set of designs on the first few pages that he looks over are all in colour. He’s seen plenty of tattoos in dressing rooms throughout the years, but many were in black and white. Ilya’s bear tattoo is in black and white as well. The first page consists of designs of multiple flowers. They somewhat remind Shane of the rose tattoo that Rose has on her hip. The second page holds a number of animals, including an elephant, a dog, a dragonfly and, to Shane’s surprise, a loon. 

Shane wonders, as he goes through the motions of making his tea, what Ilya does with the pages of sketches that he undoubtedly has. Does Svetlana keep them at the shop? Does he throw them out? Do the clients that he designed the tattoos for take them home? Shane’s house could use some art, in case Ilya’s designs need a second home. The loon, for a start, would look perfect at his  cottage. Does Ilya take commissions?

Still with his mind on art, Shane takes his tea and pads into the living room section of the open plan room. He finds the remote on the coffee table, just like Ilya described in his note. He turns it on, putting on some TV series he doesn’t recognise for the background noise, and sits down on the ridiculously large couch. With a couch this big Ilya must often have people over to watch TV with, Shane reckons.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket again, intending to find out more about tattoo styles and figure out if the colour is actually on the tattoos as well. He finds, much to his surprise, that his mother called him twice in the time since he got out of bed and made his tea. The reason why might just be present on his phone screen as well: a Google alert for his name.

It felt like vanity at first to put a Google alert for his name, but Shane has quickly learned that it’s actually a very smart thing to do. It means he knows exactly what the press is saying about him before he goes to meet them in yet another press conference. It makes it a lot easier to deal with journalists. Usually, the alerts are about concerns regarding potential injuries, his history of goals and assists against the team they’re playing next and rumours about the team at large.

With a just-finished Stanley Cup run Shane can’t imagine it’s about any of those things and when he opens the alert, he’s proven right. He starts to feel sick as soon as he sees a picture of him and Ilya at the ice skating rink, seemingly skating at a slow pace and engaged in conversation. Shane must have been right to be cautious. Everyone must know now. 

The panic he feels rising in his chest gets stuck when he sees the confusing headline right underneath the picture: Is Montreal looking to surprise this offseason with Russia’s Ilya Rozanov?

Shane can confidently say that no, they are not, and not only because Ilya probably hasn’t played ice hockey for years. 

He tentatively scrolls down to the start of the article. The first paragraph is about him and the Voyageurs’ playoff run that resulted in the Stanley Cup. It then pivots to Ilya, a former Russian ice hockey player who lives in Montreal these days. The article suggests that the Voyageurs might be considering hiring Ilya as a consultant on a freelance basis, assisting them in helping players from Europe integrate. It then speculates about the Voyageurs’ first round draft pick potentially being from Russia. 

It might be nice to have Ilya working for the Voyageurs, Shane guesses. They could see more of each other during the season. They would have to be careful, of course, but friendships between players and staff are hardly unusual. 

Then the article goes back to Ilya. Rozanov, 29, was born in Moscow, but has lived in Boston since the summer of 2014 following a scandal in the KHL, the mostly Russian ice hockey league that Rozanov played in from 2008 until 2014. Footage from the HC Dynamo Moscow locker room, Rozanov’s team at the time, was leaked showing Rozanov in an intimate embrace with the assistant coach.

Shane clicks out of the article immediately and just resists the urge to drop the phone on the nearest surface. 

There are the answers to the questions he was wondering about, slotting into place neatly without Shane wanting them to. He wanted Ilya to tell him. He wanted to ask Ilya these questions, instead of finding out answers from a stupid news article. 

His mother must have seen them. His mother must have realised his outing with Ilya had nothing to do with recruiting him for the Voyageurs because it was a date. 

Shane picks his phone back up and calls her back. 

Yuna picks up like a woman waiting for her son to call her back; immediate and with a soft and loving undertone. “Hi, honey. How are you doing?”

“You saw the article,” Shane says. “About me and Ilya.”

“Yes.” Succinct and to the point. His mother was never one to beat around the bush. “To be honest, Shane, I’m surprised it took so long.”

That stops Shane short. “What do you mean?” he asks. 

“Well,” Yuna starts before sighing. “I assumed you would have sought out Mr Rozanov years ago. When Hunter came out after winning the Stanley Cup,  the connection with Rozanov was made almost immediately. When you came out to us, Shane, I started looking into Hunter and into queer hockey players in general. The only two notable names were Rozanov and Hunter himself.”

She assumed that Shane had done his homework. Shane is usually very thorough, so it’s not much of a reach for his mother to think that. In a normal situation Shane would want to know everything about a situation before engaging with it. 

But his sexuality doesn’t count as a normal situation insofar that Shane has never felt normal about it. He’s always been paranoid about the topic because he is so afraid of being found out and as a result hasn’t engaged with it very much. 

“I just met Ilya last week,” Shane says, his throat feeling like sandpaper. “I never knew anything about his story. I just know he’s bisexual and he’s a tattoo artist and a former hockey player in Russia.”

“You were on a date with him.” His mother sounds like she’s realising that just now.

“Yes.”

“And now the press assumes you’re recruiting him for the Voyageurs.”

“Yes.”

“And now I assumed you met with him because the two of you have something in common.”

“I mean - we do have something in common,” Shane says. “But that’s not why we met. I didn’t even realise I played against him in youth tournaments until I got his number and he told me his full name. And now we’ve hardly started seeing each other, if I can even call it that, and the entire world knows we’re hanging out.”

“Shane, it was one article,” his mother says. “And everyone is assuming you’re trying to recruit him. If you keep being seen with him, people are going to assume that you’re working with him personally. Rozanov was considered to be as good as you were, once. It makes sense that you would seek him out to work alongside.”

Shane gets up from the couch and starts pacing, unsure how he feels about that. On the one hand, seeking someone out to become even better at hockey feels like something he would do. He might just have won his third Stanley Cup, but that isn’t nearly a high enough number for his liking. J.J. and Hayden might be discussing the definition of a dynasty already, but Shane knows what kind of dynasty he wants to be a part of: one that wins at least five Stanley Cups. Personally he wants to win eight Stanley Cups, but that feels far out of reach still. If he wants to achieve winning at least five Stanley Cups he can’t get complacent now. He has to push harder. He might just gather new people around him to help him do that.

On the other hand, Ilya is not his advisor or his trainer. Ilya is a man that Shane likes, that he wants to be with and that he wants to learn all about. Acting like he’s anything but that would keep Shane’s sexuality and their potential relationship a secret, but it would feel odd. It would feel wrong, maybe. 

He’s also getting ahead of himself, as he tends to do. Odds are that Ilya wants nothing to do with him after he realises that Shane has accidentally been reading up on Ilya’s private life on the internet.

“Shane?” his mother asks on the other side of the line, reminding him that he’s still on the phone.

“Sorry, I’m here,” he quickly says. “Ilya is a rather private person and now I feel like I learned things from an article that he should have had the opportunity to tell me himself when he wanted to. I took that opportunity from him. This is still so new and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Well, you were just reading the article because you wanted to know what was said about the two of you, right?” his mother asks.

“Yes,” Shane confirms softly. “I didn’t know that he was so well-known, at least in the hockey world. I - You probably know more about him than I do.”

“I don’t think I do, honey,” his mother replies. “Sure, I know some facts about him, like that he’s a former hockey player and that he’s queer. But that doesn’t mean I know him. Getting to know someone is all about proximity. It’s about letting people see you. It’s not about facts that everyone can find on the internet.”

Starting to feel better slowly, Shane reaches out for the tea he put down on the coffee table and takes a sip. He’s surprised by the taste. “This is really good,” he says to no one in particular.

“What is, honey?” his mother asks, sounding cautious.

“Ilya’s tea,” Shane says. “It’s definitely different from the kind of tea I usually drink, but it’s great. Very earthy somehow.”

“Shane, where are you? Are you at Ilya’s place?”

Shane blinks. “Maybe.”

His mother laughs. “Talk to Ilya,” she tells him. “I’m sure he’ll be understanding. And then maybe bring him over for dinner? We would love to meet him.”

“It’s way too early for that, Mom,” Shane says.

“It is way too early for what?”a voice with a Russian accent asks.

Shane turns around to find Ilya standing in the doorway between the hallway and the living room. He left his sneakers by the door, but he’s still in his leather jacket. He’s in what Shane categorises as his work clothes: dark jeans and a dark green shirt. He looks like he stepped right out of Shane’s most recent daydreams.

“My parents want to meet you,” Shane replies, his mother still on the phone. “I am trying to tell my mother that we need more than a single date to determine whether or not we like each other, but she’s not listening.”

“I don’t agree,” Ilya tells him as he approaches. “I know I like you. I want to keep dating you because I like you, moya lyubov. You can tell your mother I would like to meet your parents, yes?” He pauses, then adds: “If you want that too, I mean.”

How could he not want that? “Ilya wants to meet you,” he tells his mother. “We’ll figure something out. I’ll let you know.”

He can hear his mother smiling by the sound of her voice. “I’m looking forward to it,” she says. 

Shane wonders what he got himself into now. He never once brought a man home that he was seeing. No, he never even mentioned he was seeing someone and the reason is simple: it’s because he never was. Now there is a man and his mother immediately wants to know all about it. It’ll be a stressful ordeal. He just hopes Ilya is genuinely up for it.

He wraps up the conversation with his mother as Ilya disappears back into the hallway. When he hangs up, Ilya is standing in the kitchen unpacking what looks like a bag of groceries or takeout. It turns out to be ingredients for sandwiches.

“I wanted to cook for you,” Ilya says. “But I didn’t have anything that fit well in your diet. I know you said it did not matter as much since it is the offseason, but I still wanted to think about it.”

Shane heads over to the kitchen. He makes it his first priority to kiss Ilya, unable to quite find the words how thankful he is for him. Ilya hugs him and murmurs those same Russian words as before in his ear, so maybe he does understand the meaning of Shane’s gesture to some extent.

“Are you sure you’re up for meeting my parents?” Shane asks after he lets go.

“Yes,” Ilya replies immediately. “I want to know all about you, Shane. I want to know where you came from. Do they live in the house you grew up in?”

“They do,” Shane says, then tries to return the question. “Are you still in touch with your parents?”

The smile disappears from Ilya’s face immediately, confirming what Shane has been thinking all along. He can’t push Ilya for personal details. It’s not comfortable for him and Shane never wants to make him uncomfortable. Ilya turns away, back to the groceries, and starts unpacking with a little more emphasis. 

Shane exhales deeply and heads back into the living room to retrieve his tea again, also finding a much more safe topic in the process. “I like your tea,” he says.

Ilya looks up and smiles. “Russian tea is far superior to any other tea,” he tells Shane with the same conviction that he has told Shane that he would be a starting center for most of the NHL teams. “Only very few shops in Canada sell it, but Sveta found one. She always orders for me.” He frowns, then adds: “I actually think she gets it shipped from Russia, but she always denies this.”

“I think I could find a brand that you’ll like,” Shane says, eyeing him, wondering if Ilya will shift the conversation to food altogether.

“You probably will,” he says with a sigh, like it’s a hardship. “But not as good.” He takes a step forward and pulls Shane back into his arms. “They’re dead, Shane.”

“Your parents?” Shane asks, now regretting asking even more. Here he is calling his parents whenever he’s spiraling and asking Ilya to meet them too, whereas Ilya can’t call either one of his parents anymore.

“Yes,” Ilya confirms. “It has been a while. I don’t talk about this.”

“You don’t have to,” Shane says softly. “But you can. If you want to. I will always listen to you.”

“Thank you.” Ilya presses a kiss to his hair before letting him go again. “I will make lunch now. We can eat lunch, yes?”

“It would be brunch for me,” Shane says. “Your bed is very comfortable. But -” he hesitates briefly, studying Ilya. “I saw something online.”

“Ah, you found my Instagram,” Ilya says, apparently not catching onto the seriousness of the topic. “You don’t need to follow me, Shane. I can send you pictures directly. Even better ones too.”

As much as Shane would admittedly very much like those pictures, this wasn’t the time for it. “No, I mean, someone saw us together last night. They think I’m recruiting you for the Voyageurs staff.”

At that Ilya laughs. “As if I would work for the Voyageurs,” he says with a shake of his head. “That is - what is the word?”

“Ridiculous?” Shane offers. He’s sort of glad that Ilya is so clear about not wanting to. Shane hardly dared to think it might be a possibility, but now he knows he doesn’t have to.

“Ridiculous,” Ilya agrees with a nod. “Good word for it. We are just two people hanging out that are very good at hockey. They will never think that you want a tattoo.”

“I could want a tattoo!” Shane protests, getting caught up in their banter.

“Oh, really?” Ilya asks. He wraps his arms around Shane and grins at him. “Of what would you get a tattoo, Shane? Of Stanley Cup?”

Shane groans. “Not this again.” But he does wrap his arms around Ilya in return. “Ilya, there was an article about you. About how you ended up in Boston.”

Ilya stiffens in his arms and then slowly lets Shane go. The groceries are forgotten as Ilya turns around and makes a beeline for the living room. Shane watches him for a moment, torn. Is he supposed to go after him? Is there anything else he should do? 

He quickly finishes his tea, leaving the cup on the counter, and follows after Ilya. “I’m sorry, I stopped reading as soon as I realised what it was about,” he says. “I didn’t mean to read anything. I wanted to make sure that they weren’t spreading rumours about us. I guess that’s stupid in hindsight. I didn’t want to learn about you from anyone or anything but you. I’m sorry.”

“Is okay.” Ilya is staring out of the window. “Is not your fault, Shane. You did not know. I should have told you.”

“No, actually,” Shane says, feeling braver now that Ilya isn’t blaming him. “You should have told me when you were ready, regardless of when that is.”

“But you know now, yes?”

“Hardly,” Shane says, thinking about what his mother tried to explain to him. “Knowing what happened and knowing how you feel about it are not the same thing, Ilya. I knew that you had to have moved from Russia to Boston at some point. I took some educated guesses why, but I was never going to know why unless you told me.”

“So you want to know now?” Ilya asks. He’s still staring out of the window.

Shane joins him by the window. “Only if you want to tell me.”

Ilya clears his throat. “It is a lot. Where do I begin?”

Shane isn’t sure if he’s asking or just arranging his thoughts, but he offers his input anyway. “I expected you at the NHL draft in 2009.”

“I expected me as well.” Ilya shakes his head almost immediately after saying so. “I could not go into the NHL. My father’s health was bad. I had to stay in Russia to take care of things. He needed me to stay. He died in 2013.”

“You must have loved him so much, to do that for him,” Shane says softly, studying Ilya’s side profile. “To stay in Russia.”

“It was safer for people like me at that time,” Ilya says softly. “There were rumours, of course, but things didn’t change until the Olympics neared.”

The Olympics. Shane mostly has fond memories of the event, with the exception of the final. Not winning always sucked. Not winning at the Olympics especially sucked, because it was a once-in-a-lifetime event. NHL players hadn’t been allowed to attend the Olympics since then, so the 2018 Olympics passed them by. 

Shane thinks that Ilya must have attended a very different event. Shane was vaguely aware of the laws that Ilya is referring to, but since he never told anyone he was gay and hardly engaged with the fact himself, he could just focus on hockey. Ilya seemed to have been juggling the expectations of the host country and grieving his father on top of having to be careful about expressing himself. That was a lot to deal with.

“I didn’t get caught until after, though,” Ilya adds, his voice still soft. “By then I had plans in place. I was ready to run, as people say.”

“What would have happened if you didn’t run?” Shane wonders.

Ilya turns towards Shane. Shane is used to him being animated and usually grinning. Now he’s seemingly neutral, completely stoic. Shane can only imagine how much effort it is costing him to keep all his emotions away from the surface. 

“I don’t know,” he replies, faltering. “I don’t - I don’t want to find out.”

He turns away again. Shane is of a mind to let him have his space, but then he hears Ilya sniffle distinctively. He can’t possibly ignore that, so he wraps his arms around Ilya from behind him, his back to Shane’s chest, and gently pulls him closer. Ilya doesn’t resist the motion but doesn’t move closer to him either. Shane can feel him shaking in his arms.

“You got away,” Shane whispers softly. “And now you’re here.”

Ilya slowly turns in his arms and lets himself be held by Shane. Once more, Shane is grateful that Ilya is here; not just here in Montreal, but also in Shane’s arms. Shane intends to let that place be the most safe place Ilya has ever been, no matter what.

Eventually, Ilya lets go. He immediately turns away and rubs at his eyes, clearly not comfortable letting Shane see it. When he turns back and smiles at Shane, his eyes are red. 

“And now I am here,” he says. “The country is boring. The alcohol is horrible. But it is safe here. I am good here.”

“Are you planning to stay?” Shane asks.

Ilya nods. “Sveta and I left Boston because it was not the best place to be either. A lot better than Russia, but not completely safe. We picked Montreal together. Sveta opened her shop and I work from there now. I am working on citizenship.”

“Good,” Shane says. “I want you to stay. I really like having you here.”

Ilya cracks a smile at that. “I really like having you here too,” he says. “And I have a few days off, so maybe you can stay?”

Shane bridges the distance between them again and leans in to kiss him. “I would like that,” he says. “But I actually -” He falters there, unsure if he’s ready to hear a rejection. He might never be ready to hear a rejection from Ilya, the man he is so crazy about that he’s already pictured their entire lives together in his head.

“You have appointment elsewhere?” Ilya guesses, trying to help him get it out and missing the mark by a mile. “Is okay. Other things are also important. Not as important as me, of course, but important.”

“No, no,” he says. “Not exactly. Unless my agent planned some commercials or something, I’m free for the summer until preseason.”

“Then what is it?” Ilya asks, raising his eyebrows. He’s back to his usual, animated self, but he looks tired.

“I had a cottage built a couple of years ago,” Shane says. “It’s in Ottawa. It’s very remote. It’s near a lake and I have a gym and a rink built in. It’s where I spend my summers. My parents have their own cottage a twenty minute drive away.”

Ilya nods. “So you are going to Ottawa,” he concludes, getting closer to what Shane is trying to say but still not hitting the mark. “I can video call you every day, Shane.”

“I was actually thinking -” Shane starts. “Will you come to my cottage with me? I understand that you have your work and other plans, but maybe you have a small summer vacation that you could spend with me. If you wanted to. If you could. I understand if you -” and then Ilya cut him off by kissing him.

“Ilya!” Shane tries protesting, but Ilya just kisses him again and Shane reckons he is never not going to want him to do that.

When they break the kiss, Ilya is beaming. “I am coming to the cottage,” he says. “I can take a few weeks of summer vacation. I have plans in New York and Boston, but afterwards I can come to Ottawa.”

Shane definitely didn’t expect Ilya to be so enthused about going on vacation with him. He thought this would be the point where Ilya would ask for some space, especially considering there were articles written about him because he was seen with Shane. Instead Ilya seems genuinely excited about coming to Ottawa and almost makes it sound like he will move pre-existing plans around to get to the cottage.

“Are you sure you can make it?” Shane asks. “I don’t want to mess with your plans.” Shane’s one heavy preference for sticking to his plans subsequently loses to the desire to spend time with Ilya. “I can also come to New York with you or something if you want that.”

“No, moya lyubov, it is okay,” Ilya says. “Trips to New York and Boston have to do with work. Boring tattoo stuff. You would not have a good time. You can go to your cottage and recover from the season and video call me every day, yes?”

“Every day,” Shane promises readily. “I can’t wait to have you there.”

Ilya touches his face and kisses him once more. “You will be perfect there,” he tells Shane. “But you are also perfect in my apartment now. Do you still want lunch?”

Shane sort of can’t believe that Ilya is still offering to make him lunch after he accidentally made him cry and then subsequently invited him on vacation. It has been an exhausting half hour for him, never mind Ilya, who at times badly seemed to struggle with his emotions. 

“I will help you make it,” Shane decides. “Let’s do it together.”

“I like that,” Ilya decides, offering his hand for Shane to take. “Will you wear an apron?”

“If you want me to wear an apron, I will wear an apron,” he says, taking Ilya’s hand.

“What if I want you in just an apron?” Ilya asks.

“In that case you definitely need lunch first,” Shane says. “I need food if you’re going to wear me out. Or maybe you need food if you’re going to wear me out.”

Ilya grins as he heads into the kitchen. “I like you a lot, Shane Hollander.”

“I like you a lot too, Ilya Rozanov.”

Chapter End Notes

and here we are, at the end of pt 2 of tattoo artist ilya au. if you've followed along so far, thanks so much! i am working on part 3 as we speak, which will be from ilya's pov. the format will be a bit different in that i want to have it mostly written before i start posting + want to keep it on a posting schedule. but it is def coming and so far it's looking pretty good if i may say so myself.

as ever, a huge shoutout to my beta reader and i guess happy valentine's day? (: hopefully see you for the next one!