what keeps boys playing til they've won

🚨NYC Horny Jail👮🏻‍♂️

I can’t believe we were exiled from the group chat 😭
❤️Gloria❤️
well technically we were just told to cool it on the sex talk
silenced
🌞Kip
censored
Kyle🍹
apparently it’s in poor taste to have to read conversations about felching first thing in the morning
🌞Kip
said no one ever!
🌞Kip
except Eric Bennett
🌞Kip
Scott and Eric really just exiled themselves from the fun
❤️Gloria❤️
I think it was the excessive thirsting over his new UnderArmour ads that pushed Scott over the edge
🌞Kip
he’s a little shy and delicate sometimes
Kyle🍹
our two delicate little flowers 🥰
❤️Gloria❤️
they really are sometimes, it’s so sweet
but still. not like we were sending nudes in there, chill guys
🌞Kip
we couldn’t be expected to control ourselves with the ads
Kyle🍹
Kip breathe we don’t need a repeat of last Tuesday
wait can we send nudes in here?? 👀
❤️Gloria❤️
I like how you’re more excited about sending them than receiving them
I'm a giver what can I say
Kyle🍹
please feel free to send whatever you want
Kyle🍹
it’s very much encouraged
🌞Kip
you have a captive audience
Kyle🍹
make up for the 40 million times Scott and Eric have seen you naked at work
🌞Kip
we work together too and I never see you naked, what’s up with that?
the Kingfisher isn’t that kind of establishment, you’re classy
Kyle🍹
it could be 😏
Kyle🍹
meet me in the storage room some time baby girl
🌞Kip
🤩
❤️Gloria❤️
yes! 🔥
why is that so hot

🚨NYC Horny Jail👮🏻‍♂️

ok question
🌞Kip
shoot
Kyle🍹
not like that
🌞Kip
well...
what makes you good at gay sex?
🌞Kip
all the usual stuff that just makes you good at sex I guess? I don’t think there’s much of a difference
Kyle🍹
but you’ve never had straight sex, God knows what the criteria are
🌞Kip
excuse me I’ve had a little bit of straight sex though
❤️Gloria❤️
it counts! 😘
Kyle🍹
ok valid
🌞Kip
why are you asking? I feel like there’s a backstory
I’ll rephrase, is this a safe space to ask whether Kip is better than Scott at sex?
🌞Kip
😂😂😂
❤️Gloria❤️
babe...
🌞Kip
are you just asking if I’m better?
🌞Kip
cause it sounded for a minute like you were asking if Scott is good at sex at all 😅
noooo
that’s not what I meant 😭
Kyle🍹
I mean
Kyle🍹
the world needs to know
🌞Kip
the answer is YES obviously!!
🌞Kip
if we’re being technical you’ve kind of had sex with him so you should know
Kyle🍹
if Kip and Gloria had sex then Carter and Scott had sex!
❤️Gloria❤️
true
🌞Kip
oh man if a handjob is sex I have to recalculate my numbers
Kyle🍹
haha same
Kyle🍹
if a handjob counts, you and I had sex
🌞Kip
I know, we did! 🤭❤️
🌞Kip
ok anyway definitions aside, why are you asking?
it’s just
that time at All Stars, you made him come and you didn’t even touch him
Kyle🍹
activating that short top magic is powerful 🙌
🌞Kip
I’m not that short
Kyle🍹
not where it counts
and then last week in LA Gloria made me come (or team effort)
on her first time!
🌞Kip
Gloria, for the record, you can do anything, you’re a natural and you’re amazing and someone should give you an Oscar
❤️Gloria❤️
aww 🥰
Kyle🍹
did a better job than some gay guys I know
but then the other day when you were in the middle Kip
Kyle🍹
you can call a spit roast a spit roast, it’s okay
🌞Kip
he’s being polite
🌞Kip
yes Carter? 🙂
he didn’t make you come
only after
Kyle🍹
ohhhh
🌞Kip
yeah but that was intentional?
🌞Kip
that was the plan
🌞Kip
wait did you think Scott was just bad at sex this whole time??
Kyle🍹
ahahaha
Kyle🍹
oh my God
Kyle🍹
😂😂
no!
❤️Gloria❤️
the issue has been discussed in some detail
Kyle🍹
amazing
babe it wasn't like that
Kyle🍹
Kip this is a safe space remember
Kyle🍹
you can tell us if your fiancé ‼️ is bad at sex
Kyle🍹
ideally before the wedding 🤔
Kyle🍹
we will save you. Carter volunteers for so many blowjobs
well I don’t know, could have been breaking etiquette or something??
like if you top you don’t come first?
I was just asking 😭
🌞Kip
look if you think I’m better in bed than Scott I’ll take the win 😉
🌞Kip
but please know that I’m being taken care of sooo well and having many many orgasms
🌞Kip
literally so many 🥰
Kyle🍹
okay we get it
🌞Kip
you don’t need to be worried 🥰
please don’t tell Scott I asked you that
I feel like my question was misunderstood
maybe intentionally
Kyle🍹
send a quality nude and we’ll forget it ever happened
wow blackmail
❤️Gloria❤️
is it really blackmail if he knows you want to
🌞Kip
shh let them roleplay
❤️Gloria❤️
haha good point
oh no
extortion
what should I do 🥺
Kyle🍹
wow you're bad at this
❤️Gloria❤️
the pics are always very good though
aww thanks baby 😘
not as good as yours
🌞Kip
well who’s better in bed between the two of you??
Gloria🥰
❤️Gloria❤️
me
Kyle🍹
that was easy
Kyle🍹
know your place in the food chain I guess
🌞Kip
and you and Eric?
Kyle🍹
I taught him everything he knows, what do you think 🤓
❤️Gloria❤️
what about 20 years of straight sex before you though?
Kyle🍹
it’s okay if he’s better at straight sex, that’s not a life goal for me
🌞Kip
only one person here who could test it just saying
❤️Gloria❤️
any time
🌞Kip
oh but then you can compare between Eric and Carter
Kyle🍹
Carter you’re being very quiet suddenly
I'm not afraid
bring it Benny

🚨NYC Horny Jail👮🏻‍♂️

ok fun new idea
orgasm race?
❤️Gloria❤️
I'm gonna win
Kyle🍹
are you just trying to make sure Kip actually has enough orgasms?
what no
Kyle🍹
do you not trust your best friend in the whole world to take care of his man?
I didn’t say that!
I never said that!!
Kyle 🥺
❤️Gloria❤️
I think we might need another nude
❤️Gloria❤️
it will clear our heads and avoid any misunderstandings
🌞Kip
I’m in favor of that
🌞Kip
also, 1
Kyle🍹
well done Scott
Kyle🍹
the early bird and all
🌞Kip
the early admiral
🌞Kip
wait is that a bird
❤️Gloria❤️
you’re thinking of a cardinal maybe?
🌞Kip
what animal is an admiral?
it’s a butterfly!
🌞Kip
aw ok cute
anyway
ask and you shall receive
🌞Kip
I already did
🌞Kip
nobody asked me but
Kyle🍹
your jokes post nut could use some work babe
IMG00026483.jpg
🌞Kip
brains fucked out sorry
🌞Kip
in case anyone was concerned about it! 😉
I never should have brought it up
but you’re forgiven for thinking an admiral was a bird
Kyle🍹
hashtag worst WAG
Kyle🍹
but Carter !!
Kyle🍹
12/10 🔥 and that angle is inspired
🌞Kip
yes! composition A+! art! ❤️
🌞Kip
and we would know
❤️Gloria❤️
1
Kyle🍹
with the pic?
Kyle🍹
that was crazy fast
❤️Gloria❤️
I’m efficient 🙂
1
Kyle🍹
okay Jesus
🌞Kip
oh you where hard hard in that photo, okay 👀
🌞Kip
food for thought
Kyle🍹
you literally just got dick Kip
🌞Kip
so what, let me have nice things!
Kyle🍹
and it’s like 8 in the morning
❤️Gloria❤️
2
Kyle🍹
ok wow let me go drag my overambitious boyfriend out of his yoga studio to catch up
❤️Gloria❤️
and it’s 5 AM for me, early start on set
🌞Kip
I see what you mean about winning
❤️Gloria❤️
I need some joy in my life before I have to endure Adrian all day
❤️Gloria❤️
photo of Eric sweaty in downward dog and I’ll go for 3 😜
😳😳😳
Kyle🍹
you're feral!
Kyle🍹
and so correct
Kyle🍹
I’ll see what I can do, I’m sure he’d love to help 😉

End Notes

Title from Right Woman by Dragonette

All credit for the Carter thinks Scott might be bad at sex subplot goes to woodenducks! <3

And the great tutorial by CodenameCarrot and La_Temperanza made HTML really easy so that even I could put this together.