Preface
Is It All Worth It?
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/83055171.
- Rating:
- Mature
- Archive Warning:
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Category:
- M/M
- Fandoms:
- Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
- Relationship:
- Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
- Characters:
- Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Rose Landry, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Ryan Carmichael, Victor St. Simon, Connors (Heated Rivalry), Brad Hammersmith, Sebbin (Heated Rivalry), Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Hayden Pike, Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais
- Additional Tags:
- Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Texting, Humor, HTML Coding, Group Chats, Autism, Bad Friend Hayden Pike, Implied/Referenced Homophobia
- Language:
- English
- Series:
- Part 2 of Trying Their Best
- Stats:
- Published: 2026-04-13 Updated: 2026-10-14 Words: 6,688 Chapters: 13/?
Is It All Worth It?
Summary
Shane thought things would be okay with the team, but it turns out being gay is somehow the worst thing to exist in the locker room. Between the silence from his teammates and seeing how supportive Ilya's team is, how can he move forward from here?
Notes
Used this for the coding
This follows after the events of the last fic, so I would recommend reading that one first for more context!
Fuck AI, up the ass
(EDIT: 6/17/26 - Testing this out so maybe other authors can start to do the same. Learned about this website from Markiplier and it includes Markings you can use to "self-report disclosure of the use (or lack thereof) of AI"
I will never knowingly use AI in my fics. I use Ellipsus as the writing software for working on my fics and they are anti-ai. There are other writing programs that might use AI in the way they handle spell-check and grammar, which would mean that AI was used, but not generative AI. The markings help disclose this to your readers.
Rose
What if you gave it the Cary Grant treatment
Shane
What does that even mean?
Rose
I know you know who Cary Grant is
Shane
Yes I do know
So?
Rose
Ah so you only know him as an actor
Shane
What else would I know him as?
Rose
Idk like his background?
Shane
As an actor?
Rose
No Shane, his personal life 🙄
Shane
Why would I know that?
Rose
Ugh you need to get out more
It was supposedly this big Hollywood secret that Cary Grant was queer and had a long term partner
Here, read this https://communityoflights.com/cary-grant-and-randolph-scott-a-love-affair/
Shane
Rose
Rose
Shane
Shane
This says that Hollywood made him marry a woman
How is this supposed to help me
Rose
Ignore that part!
I meant you could try to be super close bachelors like they did
Shane
Yes, Ilya Rozanov, known womanizer, and Shane Hollander, two well known "bachelors" who could easily live together. Oh, what was that? A rivalry? Nah, that's fake!
Rose
I wish the media knew how snarky you are
Shane
Shut up
Rose
Being mean to a lady, well I never! 😱
Wait
Shane
What?
Rose
Circle back to that
Shane
To what?
Rose
The rivalry being fake
Shane
It isn't though?
Rose
I mean
Isn't it?
Shane
No, we really are rivals, we just don't hate each other
Rose
Okay so what if you started out by trying to change the narrative?
Shane
We're working on it
Rose
I know you have the charity in the works but I mean doing more than that
Shane
How?
Rose
Play the media
Shane
Okay and what does that mean?
Rose
Convince them that the rivalry, the version they think is real, is fake
Shane
But what's the point in doing that?
Rose
Hear me out
Do it in a way that convinces the media the two of you have been friends the whole time
Shane
But
Huh
Actually, that doesn't sound half bad
Rose
See??
You just need to get loverboy on board
Shane
Gross, don't call him that
Rose
Okay, shnookums it is
Shane
Or that
Rose
Nope, you only get one veto 😂
Shane
I hate you
Rose
No you don't
Shane
Right now I do
Rose
Nope
Shane
Fine, whatever, let me talk to him
How do I even sell this
Rose
Tell him it'll be funny to gaslight the media, make a game of it
Shane
Yep, that'll be what convinces him
You're the best
Rose
Anytime 🤗
Chapter End Notes
I'm making it a headcanon that Shane knows who Cary Grant is because he ended up watching/loving North by Northwest during one of the team flights
There's also a whole ass photoshoot of Cary Grant and Randolph Scott in their home, which was called Bachelor Hall (!!!!), and it's so queer it's not even funny. Highly recommend looking up the photos
With how silly/fluffy the previous fic was, I'm really struggling with either making that happen with this fic or leaning in to the homophobia that Shane is experiencing with the team. Depending on how it goes with writing, tags will absolutely update in the future. I also might say fuck it and magically hand-wave away the visa issues for Ilya so that they can come out earlier. Or they get married. Idk yet, we will see where the words take me <3
Chapter 2: Jane+Lily
Chapter Notes
Switched up the coding <3
Jane
I have a proposition for you
Lily
Kinky, go on
Jane
No no no, not like that
Lily
Booo, boring Jane
Jane
Okay so Rose had an idea about how we can interact more in public without too much media scrutiny
Lily
Oh. Rose had an idea.
Jane
Yes, it was her idea
Wait
No, stop that, stop being jealous
Lily
Not jealous
Jane
Liar
Lily
Not a liar
Jane
LIAR
Lily
Wrong
Jane
Whatever, Rose said we should gaslight the media that the rivalry isn't real
Lily
Why?
Jane
Because then it would be easier for us to be seen together in public
Lily
You want to be seen in public?
With me?
Jane
Kind of. Yes? I don't know about being seen in public with you in a romantic sense for now, but we could hang out without worrying about it
Lily
I thought that was the reason for the charity
Jane
We're still doing the charity
This is more of a way for us to explain why we know each other well enough to do a charity together in the first place
Lily
Why gaslight though?
Jane
Rose said if we act like the rivalry has never been about hating each other, the media will be forced to accept that we're actually friends. Friends who can hangout together and be seen together
Lily
Hmm. It is interesting
Jane
You get to fuck with the media, I thought you would like that
Lily
No, you are right, is a very good idea to fuck with media
Jane
But?
Lily
Will you be okay?
Jane
Who knows?
I don't care anymore
Look at your team. Seriously, look at your team. They've been amazing with you. You fucking went out to a gay bar and no one cared. No one threatened you. The public didn't care, for the most part. So who fucking cares
Lily
You know we will be talking about your team, yes?
Jane
I am aware.
Lily
Stupid team aside, are you wanting to do this for you, for us?
Or are you doing it because you feel you have to?
Jane
For us. For me. We don't have to confirm anything about our relationship. But we can be friends
Lily
Better friends than you and Pike?
Jane
What does Hayden have to do with this?
Lily
I will not compete for best friend spot
Jane
It isn't a competition
Lily
Good. I will be the best friend
Pike is demoted
Jane
Be nice. He can help us with this
Lily
How
Jane
The more people who can comment on our friendship, the more the media will have to believe it
Lily
I will be nice
What about my team? They can join?
Jane
Sure, why not
Lily
Let me text them to see
Jane
Wait
The full team? Not just the groupchat you have me in?
Lily
Oh. That is up to you
Jane
Fuck it
We're doing this
I'm doing this
Ask them first, and if they're good, please make a groupchat with them and me
Lily
Beautiful Jane
Lovely Jane
I will ask
All of the group chats for you Мой помидор
Chapter End Notes
The whole second part of the series (so this fic) will be mostly from Shane's POV (for now)
My current plan, if you could call it that, is that the homophobia from Shane's team will be heavily implied/referenced, so once that starts to happen, I'll update the tags. I really don't feel like writing intense homophobia, even though I believe Shane would be experiencing that. So we will see how that evolves in this fic!
Chapter 3: Bears Boys
Ilya
Hello fellow Bears
Cliff Bar
Are you okay?
Did something happen?
Why are you talking like that?
Carmichael
He isn't talking, he's texting
Varkov
Same thing
Oregan
Maybe Cap got a concussion
Ilya
No concussion
We must talk though
I would like to have a groupchat with Jane and team
St. Simon
WE GET TO MEET JANE????
Ilya
Possibly
Dubek
Why possibly?
Ilya
It depends on if you will all behave
Connors
We can behave
Why do we have to behave?
Ilya
You know Jane is a man, yes?
Zadonsky
So?
Ilya
Jane is also in NHL
St. Simon
BULLSHIT
Varkov
Jane is one of us?
Sebbin
Um
I have a feeling
Varkov
What do you know?
Sebbin
What do we call Jane
Hammersmith
Montreal Jane…
St. Simon
YOU'RE FUCKING THE ENEMY??
WHICH ONE??
Carmichael
Ilya Rozanov, are you fucking a Voyageur?
Ilya
Correct
Connors
It better not be Pike
Ilya
How. Dare. You.
No
Never
Extra bag skate for you
Connors
What the fuck
St. Simon
CAP
WHICH ONE??
Ilya
Will you behave?
Connors
Well now I don't want to
Sebbin
IS IT HOLLANDER?
Connors
No way, he just dated Rose Landry
Ilya
Double extra bag skate now
Connors
WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO
Varkov
Cap has fucked half of Boston, Hollander could be bi too
Ilya
Mmm no, he is not
Carmichael
So it isn't Hollander?
Sebbin
WHY NOT
IS HE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
St. Simon
Damn, we could've had Hollander in our group chat
Ilya
You would want group chat with Hollander?
Sebbin
UH, YES??
ESPECIALLY IF HE'S MONTREAL JANE
Ilya
Hmm.
Ok
Varkov
Ok?
Carmichael
Ok what?
St. Simon
Cap?
Chapter 4: Bears Boys + Jane
Chapter Notes
I went back to the format of the first fic, if you've read the first 3 chapters with the whatsapp coding, no you didn't <3
Ilya
Everyone
Meet Jane
Cliff Bar
Hello Jane
Oregan
Hi Jane
Zadonsky
JANE
Varkov
YOU'RE REAL
St. Simon
IT IS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU
Carmichael
Jane is here?
Jane
Hi
Hammersmith
Hello
Sebbin
ILYA WON'T TELL US WHO YOU ARE
Jane
You didn't tell them?
Ilya
Want to wait for you
Jane
Oh for fucks sake Ilya
Hello Bears
Did he give you any heads up at all?
Sebbin
We know that you're a Voyaguer but he refused to say which one
Connors
We know you're not Pike or Hollander
Jane
Uh huh
Ilya?
Ilya
Connors said stupid comment about you being bi because of ex movie star
Sebbin
about YOU being bi??????
St. Simon
I AM GOING TO DIE
HE ONLY SAID THAT ABOUT HOLLANDER
Varkov
JANE IS SHANE??
Hammersmith
Holy fuck
Carmichael
I think I'm dreaming
Connors
I understand the bag skates now.
Sebbin
HELLO SHANE HOLLANDER SIR
Ilya
No no, don't do that
Sebbin
Do what?
Ilya
Sir is reserved for me 😈
Jane
Ilya shut the fuck up
St. Simon
Oooooooooo tell him
Sebbin
Hello Shane Hollander……ma'am?
Oregan
No Seb
Not that either
Rozy meant to take out the sir
Not replace it
Sebbin
Oh
Hello Shane Hollander
Jane
Hello Sebbin
Sebbin
YOU KNOW MY NAME??
Jane
Well. Yes. But Oregan did just call you Seb
St. Simon
How do you know Oregan said that, none of us have said our names yet for contacts
Ilya
Yes that's a good question Jane
Oregan
Lucky guess?
Zadonsky
Yeah, lucky guess
Varkov
Something smells fishy
Cliff Bar
Do you need to be taught how to wash too?
Varkov
NO
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT
IT'S ONLY SMITHY WHO NEEDS LESSONS
Hammersmith
Dude
St. Simon
You're never living that down
Connors
Yeah, sucks to suck
Ilya
You are sucking too?
Cliff Bar
Rozy, be quiet
St. Simon
Noticing how someone isn't giving an answer
Jane
Care to explain?
Jane
No
St. Simon
WTF
Connors
That's fair actually, you asked, he answered
Just wasn't the answer you wanted
St. Simon
Nah, fuck you too
Connors
WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME
WHAT DID I DO
Varkov
Exist
Connors
WHAT THE FUCK
Carmichael
That one seems too far
Varkov
You're right, that came across a lot more mean than it was supposed to
You're just easy to gang up on, you have good reactions
St. Simon
So no one else wants to know how Jane knew Oregan was texting?
Sebbin
I figure we'll find out eventually
Dubek
WHY DO I HAVE OVER 100 MESSAGES
WHY IS THERE A NEW GROUP CHAT
CAN A MAN NOT TAKE A NAP IN PEACE
Zadonsky
We'll wait for Beck to catch up
Chapter End Notes
I was really struggling with writing this chapter and I realized it's because of the coding. It looks so cool and I love that I know how to do it but it sucked all the fun out of writing
On top of that, my lovely brain refuses to let me work on my other WIPs when it feels like the next chapter for this needs to come out so I made myself sit down this morning to figure out why
The second I decided to switch back to the old format, this entire chapter was written in thirty minutes
Dubek
WHAT THE FUCK
Zadonsky
He caught up
Dubek
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
St. Simon
I think he broke
Sebbin
I think we all did
Dubek
YOU CALLED HIM MAAM
Sebbin
Leave me alone
Connors
Nope, it's been added to your list
Sebbin
NO NOT AGAIN
Jane
List?
Varkov
We have a whiteboard just for Seb and the things he says without thinking
The goal was to help him stop
We had to get a bigger whiteboard
Jane
You're bullying him?
Carmichael
No! We asked permission first
Jane
You let them bully you?
Sebbin
It isn't bullying, I have a hard time knowing what to say in the moment and if they call it out then I can become aware of it
Jane
Oh
Huh
Has it helped?
Sebbin
Sort of? I'm more aware of it but now instead of me saying something and moving on, I'll say something and know it came out wrong right away
Jane
I see
Jane+Lily
Shane
Why does that sound like me?
Lily
What?
Sebbin?
Shane
Yes. The not knowing what to say in the moment. Or saying the wrong thing and not knowing it
I do that
I know I do that
The team won't let me forget that I do that
Lily
Adding it to my list
Shane
You don't have a list
Lily
Added
To
List
Shane
Stop. You know that sounds like me
Lily
Yes, I know things
Do not want to influence you
Shane
Influence me?
How?
Lily
I want you to be nice to yourself
Shane
I am nice to myself
Lily
Not always
You can be hard on yourself
Shane
What does this have to do with Sebbin
Lily
Okay, I will tell
But you have to promise
Be nice
And open
Shane
To what?
Lily
Seb is autistic
He told us his first day
Very brave of him
So we learn how to help
And ask questions
I think it sounds similar to things you do
But I say nothing in case you feel different
Shane
Oh
You think I'm autistic?
Lily
Not exactly, but you share habits with Sebb
Habits that he say are autistic
Shane
Do you think I could talk to him about it, one on one?
Would he be okay with that?
Lily
He would be okay with that
Shane
Okay
Chapter End Notes
Keep forgetting this is meant to be Shane-centric lol, got so used to writing just Bears in the last fic
Chapter 6: Sebbin
Chapter Notes
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH <3
DISCLAIMER
I am not a doctor. This is not a real process for being diagnosed with autism, just basic things from my life/childhood. If it resonates with you, research it on your own time, do not rely on a stranger on the internet writing fanfic to determine if you are autistic or not
Shane
Hi Sebbin, Ilya said I could reach out to you to ask questions about autism
Sebbin
Oh my god Shane Hollander is texting me
Oh my god
You called Cap by his first name
You're real
Holy shit
You know my name
Wait
Why do you know I'm austistic
Shane
Ilya mentioned that you told the team
Sebbin
Oh yeah
What do you want to know?
Shane
I don't really know what to ask. Just some of the things you said sounded like me and Ilya said that we have similar habits
Sebbin
Like, maybe you might be autistic?
Shane
Idk yet. I want to do more research on my own
But it would also be nice to talk to a real person first
Sebbin
Got it
Ask away!
Shane
Were you diagnosed as a child?
Sebbin
Yepp. My parents kept having parent/teacher conferences about my behavior at school and that led to seeing a psychiatrist which led to being diagnosed
Shane
What kind of behavior?
Sebbin
I really did not like having to go back to school after summer. Turns out it's because it was a change to my routine and that threw me off, but I would have massive tantrums on the first day back
School was super overwhelming for me as a kid before I started seeing someone
Idk what they do for it in Canada but here, once I got diagnosed I was able to get an IEP for extra things during the school day
Shane
I'm pretty sure we also have IEPs, that sounds familar
Sebbin
Finally getting one changed how I navigated school
The wording around it was a lot different then compared to now, but at the time, I was considered on the lower end of the spectrum so I was able to have an IEP but not end up in the Special Education classes
Kids could be cruel though and that hasn't really changed as an adult
I was really bad with social situations then
I still am
I don't always know the right way to act or the right thing to say
Which also means I never knew when I was being made fun of
I remember in kindergarten, we had some kind of book or handout that was teaching us about phonetics, big on sounding out words to know how to say and spell and read
I think the word in the handout was grass, so we're a bunch of five and six years old going grrr raaa ssss
One of my bullies told me that I should say the word without the G and R
So I sat there and sounded out the word ass
She immediately tattled and I got in trouble for cursing
Mind you, I didn't even know what cursing was
I thought the word meant donkey
But I still got put in the corner and my parents were called
Wasn't till more bullying and years later that I realized she did it on purpose
Shane
Damn
That's so mean
You were a baby
Sebbin
Yup. Very aware
Shane
What's it like when you're diagnosed?
Sebbin
I don't know what it would be like as an adult but as a kid, it was seeing a fancy doctor and being asked a lot of questions
Shane
Would you mind asking me some of those questions? Or at least questions that helped you realize?
Sebbin
Like
Funny questions or real questions?
Shane
Whatever you feel like
Sebbin
Oh boy
Big ask
Decision making time
Got it!
Question number one
If you were to eat a meal that requires a spoon, do you have a correct spoon to use for that meal?
Shane
What do you mean by correct?
Sebbin
Is there a spoon that is right for you and the meal compared to the other spoons available to you
Shane
Oh
Yes
Sebbin
Question number two
Can you hear electricity?
Shane
YES, CAN YOU
Sebbin
It's so fucking annoying sometimes
Question number three
Do people enjoy playing Would You Rather with you?
Shane
Ha
Nope
I haven't been asked to join in on that in years
Sebbin
And the reason for that?
Shane
They said I asked too many follow up questions
Sebbin
Because you needed clarification on the choices before making a decision?
Shane
YES
An informed decision
Sebbin
Question number four
Do group settings stress you out
For example
The locker room
Shane
Fuck, yes. It's so much noise
Sebbin
Question number five
How many days in a row would you be okay with eating the same meals for lunch and dinner?
Shane
I'm on a macrobiotic diet
It's good for me
And my nutritionist put it together
Sebbin
That's not an answer
Shane
It's been the same diet since rookie season
Sebbin
What
Same diet as in the amount of protein and stuff?
Shane
Well, yes
But also
The same meals
Sebbin
SINCE YOUR ROOKIE SEASON
YOU HAVE BEEN EATING THE SAME MEALS THAT LONG
Shane
Yes? It's been my routine and it's easy to manage
Sebbin
Wow
Okay
In my very unprofessional opinion
I think you should go get tested
Shane
Really?
Sebbin
Really
There's nothing wrong with being autistic
And there's nothing wrong with being officially diagnosed
Unless you're planning on trying to get citizenship in certain countries, in which case you shouldn't get officially diagnosed
But I think having someone who is a professional to talk to would also help you with managing your austism and being able to handle things in a better way
Not to say you're doing anything wrong now
Just it might be easier to navigate life if you have knowledge on tools that can help
Shane
Wow
Okay
Thank you
This is a lot to process
I really appreciate you doing this
Sebbin
No problem at all
I am happy to help
I am not going to freak out about having an entire conversation with Shane Hollander
I am perfectly fine
Shane
Whatever helps you sleep at night
Sebbin
AH NO I WILL NOT BE THINKING ABOUT YOU AT NIGHT
DO NOT TELL CAP THAT
NO THINKING
ONLY SLEEP
Shane
Of course, only sleep
Chapter End Notes
Had to try and include some humor at the end, this felt heavy
Sebbin's kindergarten story is based off of me. I was bullied a lot throughout school and nine times out of ten, it's because I didn't understand the social behaviors around me and people used that to their advantage
For the autism diagnosis and emigrating countries, it's mostly because countries don't want people who would be a burden on their healthcare system. It's not so much that a diagnosis will prevent citizenship, it's that if you being autistic costs them a certain amount each year, they would deny the application. It is so much more nuanced than that and each country is different, do not take my word on these things, do your own research!
I pulled the list of questions from myself and the internet. Favorite spoon and electricity are my favorite questions. My last therapist was very kind and would work with me, but it took a while for them to get used to me asking a fuck ton of clarification questions. They would ask me a question and my answer would always start with "Well it depends on (whatever the question was asking)" and them trying to get me to give a more direct answer
I have no idea where I'm going with this fic, I've lost a lot of the desire to write this while working on other fics but I will finish this one day! Maybe not as long as the other fic but we'll see. I do love this series dearly but it's harder to write from Shane's POV as I relate to him more, so it gets me to reflect on internal things rather than silly funny hockey boys
Hayden
So when do I get to meet your girl
Shane
What?
Hayden
Oh come on
Don't pretend like you were alone at your cottage, I know what I heard
Shane
And what do you think you heard?
Hayden
Sounded like a blowie to me
Shit sounded hot as fuck dude
Shane
Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. Why would it be a girl
Hayden
?
Shane
Hayden. Did you conveniently forget the conversation we had
Hayden
When
Shane
I'm fucking gay Hayden
Why would I have a girl
And
Why the fuck would it be a girl and not a woman
Why do you all do that
Hayden
Do what
Shane
Refer to women as girls
It's fucking weird
Rose pointed it out to me and I can't stop noticing it
Hayden
What happened with Rose, she seemed so nice
Shane
Again, you idiot, I am gay
I like men
Only men
Hayden
But what about Boston Lily???
Shane
I really hope your kids have Jackie's brain
Hayden
Rude
Shane
Lily is a man
Hayden
Why is he called Lily
Shane
HE ISN'T CALLED LILY
It's a fake name.
Hayden
For what
Shane
You are really hurting my brain right now
What do you mean "for what"
Hayden
Why the fake name
Shane
You're telling me that it would make perfect sense for me to be hooking up with a known person and to have their name in my phone be a guy's name?
Hayden
Well yeah, it's not like any of us are looking at your phone
Shane
YOU ONLY KNOW LILY EXISTS BECAUSE YOU KEPT LOOKING AT MY PHONE
Hayden
Oh. Yeah
Shane
Hayden, I don't have a woman in my life, it's a fucking guy
Hayden
Ewwww, you were getting a blowjob from a guy??
Shane
WHAT PART OF GAY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND
Hayden
I fucking know what gay means, but I heard you with a guy?
Shane
Is that a problem
Hayden
No! But I didn't need to hear it
Shane
You were perfectly fine with it when you thought it was a woman
Literally you in this same conversation "Shit sounded hot as fuck dude"
Hayden
That's different
Shane
How
Explain it to me like I'm Arthur
How is it different
Hayden
It just is
Shane
You said it was fine that I'm gay
Hayden
It is!
Shane
But the thought of me doing something gay is an issue for you??
Hayden
NO
It's like thinking about your parents having sex
It's gross
Shane
I'm not your fucking parents, I'm your friend
Hayden
Well do you think about me having sex??
Shane
Hayden, you have four fucking kids, I am aware you have had sex
Hayden
Gross don't think about that
Shane
YOU BROUGHT IT UP
I need a break from this, I'll see you at practice
J.J.
Shane
I could fucking kill Hayden right now
J.J.
What did he do this time
Shane
Screenshot of text conversation with Hayden
J.J.
Ah putain
When will he learn
You have a good point about girls versus women
I will be adjusting that
Please thank Rose for me
Shane
SEE
You're so chill about Rose too
J.J.
I did introduce you
Shane
Liar
J.J.
I was the reason you met
Shane
I'll give you that
God this fucking sucks
Things went so well with you
Why is he like this
J.J.
Ah but we have a different bond
You know this
And I am much more chill
I had a whole list for you of potential hookups when you came out
My poor list goes to waste since you are a taken man
Shane
As much as I appreciate your list, it will continue to go to waste
He's stuck with me
J.J.
When will we meet
Shane
Soon. I have some stuff I want to figure out first
J.J.
I will be here when you are ready capitaine
I am excited to learn who he is off the ice
Chapter End Notes
I'm making this a list just to break up everything I want to say about Hayden and J.J.
1.
Is it accurate for JJ to use putain? Or is there a Quebecois equivalent that would make more sense? I know about putain and merde but I wasn't certain if that's exclusively French2. In this AU, I have Shane closer to JJ than Hayden. I'd like to think they bonded first when they realized how toxic the team was, given that they're the only people of color on the team. I also think it would be interesting if JJ picked up on Shane's panicked look during the "if he fucks you, i will fuck him back" conversation. Maybe that led to JJ picking up on Shane's anxiety or queerness, no idea, but I like JJ as a friend for Shane more than I like Hayden. The way certain parts of this fandom treat JJ is horrid to witness at times, and it's 100% steeped in racism. I know there are not a lot of named Voyaguers between the books and the show, so it makes sense to use a named character, but why does JJ always end up being the bad guy
3. In case this wasn't obvious, I don't care for Hayden. I do think he's a little bit better in the Show compared to the Books, but wow. He knows that Shane and Ilya are dating, but he still encourages JJ to get dates for Shane. He refers to his wife getting her tubes tied as "getting fixed." He tells Arthur that boys can't paint their nails. And that's all fucking canon. NOT TO MENTION THE FANMAIL INCIDENT. I have a WIP that has just been sitting in my drafts since February with Hayden being 100% the bad guy but I haven't finished it yet. He just comes across as the type of jock to be like "I'm an ally, love is love, I just don't want that shit shoved in my face"
4. THIS IS ALL MY OPINION. If you disagree, that's your right! I would love to have a civil discussion about it if you're interested in exploring different thoughts about charcters. If you plan on being mean about it, shut the fuck up and close the tab
5. Tentatively adding the 'Bad Friend Hayden Pike' tag
6. 6/26 Edit: Added one more line at the end to make it more clear that JJ knows it's Ilya
Shane
I've made an executive decision
J.J.
What's this
Who is the other number
Shane
Rose
J.J.
……….
Rose
As in
Rose Landry
Shane
Who else do I know named Rose
J.J.
KJNSGEDFLKJGFAEKJHBFawkjn
I am fine
Hello Miss Rose Landry
It is lovely to meet you
Shane
Stop that
J.J.
Stop what?
Shane
The weird polite gentleman thing you're doing
J.J.
I am always a gentleman
Shane
Yeah that's why I saw your tongue down that woman's throat at the bar last week
J.J.
HOLLANDER
SHUT UP
Shane
As if you have a chance
Rose
Hi, what's this?
Shane
I wanted a chat with you and JJ to see what you think about a potential plan for changing the narrative
Rose
Oooooooo spill
Shane
It's pretty common for guys to do stupid shit and blame it on losing a bet, right?
J.J.
Don't remind me, I'm still pissed about 2013
Shane
I still think they were hazing you
J.J.
But I lost the bet capitaine
Rose
What happened?
J.J.
The team shaved my head
Rose
Collectively?
Shane
I would like to point out that they made a point of using the shittiest razors possible and it fucked up his fade for months
Rose
How do you know what a fade is, I had to introduce you to my stylist
Shane
Rose
JJ is my closest friend
It would be weird to not know about his hair routine by now
J.J.
A very good capitaine, he got bets banned for two years after that
Shane
Anyways
My point
Is that if we get caught by the public, we can blame it on losing a bet
And I know for a fact that Lily's team would be down to create chaos
Rose
Start out slow to test the waters
Something like having to go to one of their games
J.J.
And if that does work, next step is to go to a game wearing the jersey
Shane
Then escalate from there
That was my thought process
What do you think
Rose
Based on the way the media handles bets, you could do the slowest soft launch in existence and people still might not believe it's more than a bet
Which keeps you both safe for longer
J.J.
It would be us, Lily's team, anyone else?
Shane
Lily mentioned there might be a way to get the Centaurs and Admirals involved
Rose
Which would further push the narrative of it being real
Shane
Exactly
I took your advice to heart
J.J.
What advice?
Rose
Fuck with the media and hide in plain sight
J.J.
Wonderful advice
Rose
I hate to ask
Why is it just JJ in here
What happened with Hayden, I thought you guys were a trio
Shane
Screenshot of text conversation with Hayden
Rose
What the fuck
No seriously
What the actual fuck
Shane
I'm so sorry
J.J.
I will gladly take a bet that involves that fucker
Shane
Yeah
That's why it's just JJ
Rose
No one else from the team?
J.J.
They are still refusing to shower with us
Rose
Both of you?
J.J.
I will not be bullied into stopping my support of Shane
So we shower together
And they cower and call us fags
Rose
JJ, I would like to have a chat with you soon
Shane
That isn't ominous
Rose
It is
Shane
What the fuck, no
Rose
I am so much more than just a pretty face in my industry
Actually, I want Yuna's number as well
Please and thank you
Shane
Jesus Christ, keep me out, I don't want any details
J.J.
We are going to be very good friends Miss Rose Landry
Chapter End Notes
I loved reading all y'all's thoughts on my end notes last chapter, there are times when the topic of Hayden can bring about some odd behaviors but it's nice to see other people's thoughts on the matter
This is where I've been wanting to take their relationship since the first part of the series become more than just jokes! I had to figure out the best way to get there in between and here we are. Next step? Tell Ilya the plan. Then? Tell the Bears. Chaos awaits somewhere in the future lmao <3
Shane
Okay, I stocked up on your favorite jam but I saw something you might want to try when I was at the Asian mart
Lily
You are still trying to replace my jam?
My one connection to the motherland
My communist tea jam
You are breaking my heart
Shane
You are so dramatic, just because I don't like it doesn't mean I am trying to make you stop adding jam to tea
Even if it does taste bad
Lily
So you hate me
Shane
I LITERALLY SAID I BOUGHT YOUR FAVORITE WHY WOULD I DO THAT IF I HATED YOU
Lily
Hmmm I will give you a point
What did you find to replace my jam
Shane
IT IS NOT A REPLACEMENT
I THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN I SAW IT
SEE IF I DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU AGAIN
Lily
Ah, no, Моя любовь, forgive me, only teasing
I know you love me
Even if you hate the jam
Tell me more about what you found
Shane
I have to think about it now
Lily
Noooooo tell me
Shane
Fine
You know the store where you found the kewpie mayo
Lily
MMMMMMM
My favorite Canadian mayonnaise
Shane
It's japanese
Lily
Just like you
Japanese but with some white in it
Shane
You need to stop making that joke
Lily
Did you laugh
Shane
No
Lily
You did
Shane
I didn't
Moving on
I went there to stock up on Kewpie mayo for when you get here and wandered the aisles
Lily
You?
Wandered?
You didn't go to a grocery store with a set list and time to leave?
Are you okay?
Shane
Do you want to know or not
Lily
Continue
Shane
I found something that looks like a similar idea to putting the jam in tea
Lily
What is it
Shane
It's fruit combined with honey. You mix it with hot water to make a honey tea, but I thought you could try adding it to your tea instead
Lily
Hmmmm. I will try, for you
What is citron
Shane
Pretty sure this version is yuzu, which is kind of like lemon
They had other flavors
And apparently it's really good for cold and sore throats
Lily
Ah so secretly you are wanting it
Shane
Why would I want it?
Lily
For the sore throat you'll have after I'm done with you
Shane
You are ridiculous
Lily
Yes but you love me
Shane
I really do
Chapter End Notes
I wanted something fluffy before the chaos. This totally does not exist simply because I saw the tea in my fridge and my brain went down a rabbit hole of "this tea is kind of like jam -> Russians put jam in tea -> would Ilya put jam in tea -> would Ilya like trying this brand in tea?" Which then led me down a deeper rabbit hole of trying to figure out if it's even possible to get it in Montreal. The answer? Idfk. I confirmed that Montreal has 3 H-Mart locations, they call it H-Marché. The website I found is in French and there isn't an option to look at products.
Long story short, I personally drink this tea and get it from H-Mart in the US. H-Mart does exist in Montreal and I am making the executive decision that one of the locations there sells a version of the tea. If you're interested in it, this is the citron version . My personal favorite is the Hallabong tea and the Grapefruit tea
I only know about the jam in tea thing because of reading Yuri on Ice! fics years ago. There are so many fics that have Victor and Yuri drinking tea with jam which made me look up if it was a fanon hivemind thing or real. Multiple fact checking attempts says it's real! The most common jams I found mentioned are raspberry and strawberry. I'm surprised I haven't seen it mentioned in Heated Rivalry fics yet (if it has been mentioned and I've missed it, ignore me then lmao)
Also! Mayo is a big thing in Russian dishes and I think Kewpie mayo would be something Ilya would like
(the image in the text conversation is pulled from a user review for the product, fingers crossed that person never comes across this somehow)
Rose
Yuna is on board
Be sure to send all screenshots you have to her
J.J.
Is it a bad thing to say nothing to stay in the team chat?
They forget I am in there and can see what they say
Rose
I wouldn't feel bad about it, if it's helping Shane
I know some of them have sponsors who would be very interested in hearing what their clients have to say when they think no one is listening
J.J.
This is why you and Yuna shouldn't meet
Stick to texting
You will take over the world
Rose
You say that like it's a bad thing
J.J.
It is scary
Rose
What, women being in charge?
J.J.
NO
no
Do not put words in my mouth
Women in charge is lovely
Specifically you and Yuna in charge is scary
Still lovely
But scary
Rose
I'll be sure to add your name to list of men approved to live
J.J.
Remind me to never get on your bad side
Rose
You're supporting Shane, you could never get on my bad side
J.J.
You know what would be fun
Rose
?
J.J.
Sending Jackie the screenshots from Hayden
Rose
Jackie is Hayden's wife?
J.J.
Correct
Rose
How do we feel about Jackie
J.J.
Mostly feel bad for her
4 kids and she stays home and does everything
Shane said that whenever he and Hayden take the kids out, Hayden calls it babysitting
Rose
Well, yeah, Shane is babysitting
J.J.
Non, Hayden says he is also babysitting
Rose
They're his kids??
J.J.
Exactly
Also said Jackie got "fixed" when she got her tubes tied
Rose
Did Hayden get a vasectomy?
J.J.
Nope
Rose
That bitch
Are you close to her?
J.J.
Ehhhhhhh not really? We talk at team events but not outside
Shane is closer but he has been distancing himself since he came out
Rose
Smart
See what Shane thinks first, maybe she is cool, maybe not, but we need another opinion before showing her how awful her husband is
J.J.
Good point. I will talk to Shane
Rose
Let me know what he says and I'll keep you updated on Yuna
J.J.
Aye aye Miss Rose Landry
Chapter End Notes
I learned a new word today! Ekphrasis.
I have been back and forth on what to do with Shane since the first fic, and I am putting my foot down. Yes, in canon, we love the Centaurs and the move. However, this is my little world and fuck it, we're getting Shane to Boston. And maybe JJ goes to the Centaurs. I just love the way the Bears are in this story and I don't want Ilya to lose them. Shane has been able to choose to come out a very small number of times, and JJ and the Bears are the only times it's gone well.
It's wild that IN CANON, Shane loses the right to choose to come out, time and time again. It's taken from him up until the end and then that's never explored in the books. I really, really, hope that we get to see that expanded upon in Season 2/3, because all of Shane's fears come true. Yes, he is on the same team as his husband, yes, he gets to be publicly in love, BUT, everything he worked for was ripped away. The team he wanted to retire with, every single award and record, it's all under the scrutiny of "did he fumble for ilya to do better" which is ridiculous but that's exactly how the sporting world would react. I think it would be so much worse than what most fanfics write. If you go on any social media post that is from a Sports page and look at the comments, they're horrible. Granted, the timeline we are currently living in is not the same as in the Heated Rivalry universe but holy shit, their audiences would eat them alive once it became public knowledge
So fuck it! I am making them queer and happy and no one is going to take that away from them!
Cliff
What if we all start bets with people we know from other teams?
Shane
That's a pretty good idea
That way it isn't just between rivals
Cliff
Well we're all technically rivals
You two are just considered THE rivals
Shane
Which is so stupid, we met as teens, how could we decide to be rivals before we were even drafted
Oregan
omfg you're high school sweethearts
Shane
Ew
Zadonsky
I think it's sweet
Ilya
If we ignore big elephant
Oregan
What elephant
Shane
The almost decade of situationship hell
Ilya
Who taught you that
Shane
Rose
Ilya
Hm
I see
Shane
Stop being jealous!
Oregan
Yeah that's not a good look
Ilya
How am I the problem
Cliff
You're always the problem
Ignoring all of you
We make bets between us and then drag in a few people on other teams and then that can lead to Rozy making a bet with Hollander
Zadonsky
Do we have to keep calling him Hollander
It's so formal
Oregan
There's always Jane
Cliff
Yes but we can't call him Jane when talking to the media
Oregan
Duh, you're right, my bad
Shane
What kind of bets are you thinking
Cliff
Make a bet about how many goals, loser has to do something dumb
Oregan
They have to swap jocks
Zadonsky
That's disgusting
Oregan
You wouldn't share your jock with me?
Zadonsky
Maybe just you
Shane
You're both disgusting
Ilya
Not even me?
Shane
Not even you, no one should be swapping jocks
Cliff
What about swapping jerseys, make it consistent between teams too
That way it can lead to you two swapping and we can grow from that
Shane
That could work
Let's try it and see what happens
Cliff
Will your team be on board with this?
Shane
Other than JJ, nope
Oregan
Fuckers
Shane
Yup
Cliff
We'll figure something out, don't worry
Shane
I'm past the point of worrying
Zadonsky
?
Shane
I want out
Oregan
Out?
Shane
I hate that the team is making me hate hockey
When did hockey stop being fun
And why is it connected to those assholes
Cliff
Maybe we stop talking about leaving teams? Just in case?
Ilya
Yes the CIA is listening
Shane
What? You're still on about that?
Zadonsky
I have nothing to do with that
Shane
I don't believe you
Chapter End Notes
I have been stuck in a writer's block from hell trying to get a fic finished for another fandom and it's been causing me to not be able to work on any of my WIPs. So if you see me post something for Teen Wolf, don't worry, the majority of my WIPs are still for Heated Rivalry. Most of my fanfic reading time is spent in the Teen Wolf fandom and I finally decided to contribute but man, it's been rough. Once that's finally uploaded, back to our regularly scheduled program of "write and post whenever the spark strikes"
Shane
I want it made known that I will be killing whichever one of you little shits won that bet
Ilya
In minecraft
Shane
No in fucking real life baldy
Zadonsky
LMFAO BALDY
Ilya
I am not bald
I have hair
Oregan
He's a kiwi now
Sebbin
I'm so glad this isn't my fault this time
Carmichael
To be fair, I didn't think any of them would actually do it
And Cap isn't the only one who lost the bet
Shane
I don't give a fuck about the rest of you, I'm not gripping your hair, am I??
Cliff
He makes a good point
But ouch
Dubek
It grows back
If it helps, my girlfriend is pissed at me too
Shane
Why would that help
Did that make his hair grow back
I don't think so
Carmichael
Guys, I hate to do this, but I'll be out with a family emergency the next Montreal game
St. Simon
Lmao, what accident are you planning on staging that far in advance
Varkov
Has anyone thought of an explanation for why half the team is bald
Ilya
It was a bet
Some win
Some lose
Shane
Yeah, lose their fucking minds
Cliff
It does help with getting the media used to bets though
Shane
Fuck
You're right
Ilya
See, is not so bad
Shane
Who was talking to you
St. Simon
OOOOOO BURN
Hammersmith
Does no one else think it's weird to be talking to a captain of another team in our groupchat
Connors
No? It's been a while at this point, it's not like we're discussing plays
Varkov
Yeah, we don't really talk about hockey here
Ilya
Yes, the CIA knows we are not colluding
St. Simon
Are you still on that? The CIA isn't actually reading all of our messages
Connors
That's what you think
St. Simon
Yes, that's why I said it
Zadonsky
They might be though
Do you have proof they're not?
St. Simon
Well
No
Oregan
Exactly
So you don't know for sure if they are or not
Therefore
Everything is done in Minceraft
Dubek
Lol minceraft
Oregan
Fucking Minecraft, you know what I meant
Dubek
Petition to only call it minceraft from now on?
Varkov
Petition approved
Cliff
Did anyone save their hair? PR said it would be a good look to donate it and I agree
Ilya
It is in a little bag but I am not allowed to open
St. Simon
Why?
Shane
I will be attaching it back as soon as I see him again
Sebbin
I
I don't actually think that's possible
Shane
Oh really?
Sebbin
No, you're right, it's possible, I take it back, I said nothing, ignore me
Carmichael
If it's being donated and only half the team did it, doesn't that imply that half the team refused to do a charity thing
St. Simon
Oh fuck
Shane
Great idea, you should all be bald now
I expect photos when you're done
Ilya
You would make them all bald?
Shane
I don't want to hear a word from you, you took it away from me
Cliff
Pretty sure his hair belongs to him and not you Hollzy
Ilya
No, he is right, is his hair, that is why it is in a bag
Oregan
You guys have a weird dynamic but I fuck with it
Zadonsky
Only fucking they'll be seeing till Cap's hair grows back
Ilya
Моя любовь say that's not true
Please don't
Carmichael
Maybe you should move this convo out of the group
Sebbin
BOOO I wanted to watch
Zadonsky
Kinky
Sebbin
wait
NO
NOT LIKE THAT
GUYS
PLEASE
COME BACK
Chapter End Notes
Wow it's been a while. I have vague plans for the rest of the fic but I've also had zero motivation for writing recently. So thank you for sticking around! This fic will be complete one day, it is just a journey that we are still on to get to that point
What bet did they lose? Idfk. Some bet was made with a group of them, Carmichael said losers have to shave their heads, Ilya was one of those losers
If anyone has funny bet ideas, please feel free to share!
I've been trying to hint at something between last fic and this fic and it's very (VERY) slowly building momentum. Big ole smooch if anyone guesses right <3
Chapter 13: Bears Boys + Jane
Chapter Notes
*throws chapter at you and runs away*
Sebbin
If I say I have a question, will you come back
Zadonsky
Depends on what the question is
Sebbin
I want to clarify that I didn't think of this
One of my friends did
Oregan
Who do you know outside of this team
Sebbin
I have friends!
Dubek
Sure you do bud
And what did your "friend" want to know?
Sebbin
Is it still considered incest if it's two guys
Shane
Jesus fucking Christ
Cliff
Someone take his phone away
You are banned from asking questions
Carmichael
Actually I think that's a valid question
Cliff
You are also banned
Carmichael
But if the problem is the resulting kid, that wouldn't be a problem if it's two guys
St. Simon
So if it's a brother and sister who are both sterile, that's supposed to be okay?
Carmichael
I mean
If they can't procreate
Shane
What's the total number of concussions this team has had
Because I think you hit your limit way before now
Ilya
Oh so it is bad if I say I am in love with Jane but it is fine if you say that siblings can have sex
How is this fair
Hammersmith
It isn't
Ilya
Exactly
Oregan
I think we need to start vetting your friends first Seb
How did you even get on that topic
Sebbin
Oh
Uh
Idk
Varkov
I regret checking my notifications sometimes
St. Simon
If one of us has to see it then we all have to see it
Sebbin
Shane
I know you are a grown adult who can handle himself but are you sure these friends of yours are actually good friends to you?
Sebbin
I think so
They really didn't mean anything by it
It was kind of like when Cap told us about himself
And some of the guys had some stupid questions
Shane
Why was it like that though, that's such a weird thing to ask
Sebbin
Oh
Okay please don't tell anyone else
Not yet
Shane
Okay, I won't
Sebbin
I think I'm gay
Shane
Oh wow
Thank you for telling me
Did you come out to that friend group?
Sebbin
Yeah and they started asking weird questions, just like the team did
Shane
I'm starting to think that straight men think way too much about how gay sex works
Sebbin
RIGHT??
But that's how they landed on the incest question
I think one of them knows someone who is married to a second cousin or something
Shane
I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but just in case, incest is bad even if the ability to make children doesn't exist
Sebbin
I know that!!!
…
now
Shane
I highly recommend making sure you're anonymous but sometimes questions like that might be better asked on Reddit and not in the team chat
Sebbin
At least it isn't the official chat
Shane
Yes, because I am not allowed in there
Sebbin
Yet
Shane
No no no, no yet. There is zero discussion of yet
Sebbin
OH
RIGHT
My lips are sealed
Shane
Your lips are sealed because there's nothing to talk about
Sebbin
Exactly
Chapter End Notes
Hahahaha it totally hasn't been over a month since the last chapter
In all honesty, specifically for this fic, and even with the first in the series, chapters are suddenly written when I come across something that makes me go "That would be funny to see a group of jocks talking about" and if I don't find anything, no chapter exists. So we'll slowly get to the end of this fic, it just may take longer than anyone anticipates
The specific question for today came from this podcast: Mike & Vittorio's Guide to Parenting. If the link doesn't take you to the right timestamp, it's 53:40 to 54:46. Never heard of these guys before but a clip came up on my feed of that moment and I knew someone had to ask the Bears that question
Also, given certain casting decisions, I want to make it clear that I am Pro-Palestine and anti-zionist. Fuck that guy.
Afterword
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!