Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags:

Social Media, Twitter, Texting Fic, Post-Episode: s01e06 The Cottage (Heated Rivalry), Diary/Journal, Angst and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, The Millenial Urge to Treat Social Media like a Diary, References to Sex, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, References to Depression

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-04-07 Words: 3,471 Chapters: 1/1

Vent Posting on a Burner Account

Summary

Lily's Jane @jane1221
Too many hockey players that think anyone gives a shit about them outside their circle. Nobody thinks about you Drapeau! You look like every drunk uncle

Lily's Jane @jane1221
Watching Ilya Rozanov play with the Centaurs feels like watching Michelangelo draft the sistine chapel. Messy now but its going to be the most beautiful team in the league when hes done

Ilya: my love
Shane: What?
Ilya: you are the best thing that has ever happened to me

Notes

The coding done for this fic is enough to fry my brain. Thank you to Twitter Work Skin by starskin, iMessage Skin by Azdaema Codes, and Floating Translation Code by SupergirlMiraculous who did the actual hard work

All Russian is google translate

Lily 💛

Today, 4:32 PM

Shane

I know we have a plan, and its my plan

But I don't know how much longer I can keep biting my tongue with these homophobic assholes

I think I'm getting an ulcer

Ilya

i will do whatever you want me to do sweetheart

just tell me play and i will do it

you want to come out we come out

Shane

No, I don't want to come out

Shit i mean

Not like that

I want to come out, I want to get married and let everyone know that you're mine

Ilya

🥰Я тебя люблюI love you

and you are mine

Shane

I just don't want it to be because I'm tired of holding back when coach is telling me I should refrain from 'extra curriculars' if its going to affect my play

Kent hooked me and sent me into the boards last game

We haven't even seen each other this week

Not that you'd leave me limping when you know the Metros had back to back games

Ilya

he said this to you?

i will kill him

no i will send Yuna after him for inappropriate comment to player

does he talk to andropov about std that nearly caused doping scandal

does he talk to pike about not sleeping before home games because of his million children

Shane

I just want to play hockey

Being gay, being in love with you hasn't changed anything about me

We're the best players in years and we've been together the whole time

I'm sorry, I know I've complained about this before

Ilya

twit…/user/lily1410

you could try this

Shane

I didn't know you felt that way?

Ilya

not all the time

that is the point of a diary yes

to write what you feel and get it out

this is better, like void can just spit it out right when youre feeling it

fake name real feelings

Shane

And you think I should…

Ilya

does not have to be twitter

could be that tumble place

or a real diary or the notes on your phone

does not have to be anything this just helps me sometimes to not dwell

Shane

I love you, more than anything

Ilya

Я тоже тебя люблюI love you too

Lily 💛

Today, 7:21 PM

Ilya

my love

Shane

What?

Ilya

you are the best thing that has ever happened to me

Shane

🥰

Love you too

Did something happen?

Ilya

just some girl named Jane in my mentions, she seems very smart

Shane

You know I don't know how Twitter works

Ilya

you are a beautiful liar

when i see you in 2 days i am going to kiss you everywhere 140 times

Shane

Everywhere?

😳

Lily 💛

Today, 8:54 PM

Shane

Next time you come over you should fuck me however you want

Ilya

are we not already doing this?

Shane

However, whenever, wherever

Ilya

this jane girl is good influence on you

Shane

🙄

Ilya

no take backs!

whenever?

Shane

Yes

Ilya

wherever?

Shane

Yes

Ilya

on the kitchen counter?

in the doorway when i first get there?

if i wake up hard while you are asleep?

Shane

All included under when and wherever

Ilya

you are the most beautiful and perfect person who has ever existed

the stars aligned when i got to see you in that ugly canadian town

every second we are apart is like dying a thousand deaths

Shane

Okay, it's just sex. You're being dramatic

Ilya

just sex? моя любовьmy love

you have the most beautiful mind of our generation

any generation

hockey genius

sex genius

Shane

Facetime?

💙Lovely Jane💙💍

Today, 5:13 PM

Shane

There's pelmeni from that place you like being delivered in 20 minutes

If you don't send me a picture of it, I'm calling mom and having her go check on you

I love you, that goal in the third period off Haas' assist was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen

I'll be home as soon as I can. 11:00 tomorrow at the latest

Ilya

you have been peeking in my diary

Shane

I can't do something nice for my fiance without having ulterior motives?

Ilya

Прости, что я всё так усложняю. Мы проходим через это уже так долго — казалось бы, это не должно причинять такую сильную боль, но каждый день превращается в настоящую агонию. Я не хочу взваливать это на тебя; я знаю, что тебе сейчас тоже нелегко.I'm sorry I'm making this so hard. We have been doing this so long it shouldn't still hurt so badly, but everyday is like agony. I don't want to put this on you, I know you are struggling as well

Shane

We're a team, Ilya, if I can help you let me help you

I don't want you hurting and hiding it from me

Ilya

your russian has gotten much better

Shane

Deflect all you want, as long as you know I love you and I want to know when you're having bad days

You can't be the fixer every time, let me do something when I can

Ilya

olena does not deliver

Shane

She does when she finds out that that sweet Ilyusha is sick

Ilya

i am not sick! you cannot lie to olena she will never give me blini ever again!

Shane

You might not be puking your guts up but tell me without lying that you're feeling your best right now?

Ilya

im fine

Shane

Ilya.

Ilya

i dont know how much longer i can do this before i break

Shane

Let's do something then, we'll call Farrah tomorrow. I'm tired of never being close enough to you too, mon chermy dear

Ilya

french is very sneaky hollander

Shane

How is this for sneaky, I'll tell her I'll take a pay cut if it means I can come play with you

Ilya

[Picture of bowl of pelmeni on a granite counter top]

Shane

je t'aimeI love you

Ilya

я тоже тебя люблюI love you too

Lily 💛

Today, 9:56AM

Ilya

i thought we weren't saying lover anymore

no ilya dont use that word it is so gross

i love you i love you but not lovers

Shane

I don't know what you're talking about

Ilya

of course not

Мой лживый любовникMy lying lover

Моя микроволновкаMy microwave

Shane

The microwave is not a liar just because it burnt your popcorn

You aren't supposed to use the popcorn button

Ilya

THEN WHY IS IT THERE???

you are distracting me

who is getting banned from the press room

and are they going to have their typing fingers broken when they are

Shane

Hot

I doubt he's in anyone's press room. He's just some jackass who played bad hockey in high school and always thought he could play at our level and now he's got a podcast no one listens to that he calls journalism so his kids might actually respect him.

Ilya

hot

now tell me how small his dick is

Shane

Wish I could. Those skin tight khakis told a different story 😏

Ilya

not so sad you cant tell your terrible jokes

Shane

I'm starting to feel crazy, Ilya

Like I just want to keep you.

Ilya

no one is taking me малышbaby

Shane

That's not what I mean.

Fuck.

I just

You're supposed to be a secret.

Ilya

I know this.

Shane

No!

Fuck!

That's not what I mean!

Ilya

would a call be better

Shane

No, I'll just fuck that up. We've been spending too much time upset with one another just because I can't get my words together

Ilya

shanya

Shane

Just give me a minute. Let me say this right for once, please

Ilya

Of course

Today, 11:32AM

Shane

At first, when we were just having fun or pretending that this wasnt as serious as it actually was, it was fine keeping it a secret.

Not fine fine, but it makes sense you don't shout about the guy that you've hooked up with twice from the rooftops. For a lot of reasons for us, but even normal people don't do that

But then we were more serious, and we had to be a secret and you were something I only got to have for a few hours and had to share with the world but no one even knew that I was sharing because we weren't supposed to be anything

And even now that we've got the foundation and the public friendship, we still cant really be what we really are.

Or maybe we can, and I'm a coward.

But for the world, they have this conception of who we each are and that's fine. I realize it's not real, but what is real is me having to always share you with everyone and I only get to have this one piece of us that's ours

And I'm selfish.

I want to keep that piece, it's mine, it's ours, and I have to give so much of me and you and us all the fucking time. And now they want to demand that I share this piece too

And I want to be yours, I want to be yours in public. I want everyone to know that soon I'll be Shane Rozanov and you'll be Ilya Hollander and I want to kiss you on the ice when I take home another cup. I want to be like any other couple who can have dinner together and hold hands in public and to leave a hickey on your neck so those Instagram models stop messaging you fucking everywhere

But I want to be the one to tell people. I'm so fucking tired of this thing that is mine, ours, being taken from me. I know its probably controlling and I need to just let it go. But we haven't gotten to fucking choose once who or when we came out to anyone and I'm tired of people thinking they can just have whatever they want from us just because we're what kind of famous

I'm going to choose you every time, Ilya, and I'm tired of people taking little pieces from us

You can talk now

Ilya

Мой утренний светMy morning light

Моё солнышкоMy sunshine

Моя луна и звёздыMy moon and stars

you have my everything, those people are nothing. have nothing

you are my heart and soul

are we in problem solving mode now or can i just tell you more how much i love you

Shane

If you have a solution, I would love to hear it.

Ilya

what if we did what farrah suggested

hard launch

you have already been sent contract to review, yes?

Shane

We were going to wait until the end of the season

The wedding

Ilya

i know моя любовьmy love

but that is a lot of waiting, yes

could be our turn to take from people

Shane

Let's do it

Ilya 💖🖤

Today, 2:01PM

Ilya

did they say anything to you when you were cleaning out your locker

i wish you would have waited for me

Shane

Nothing they haven't been saying all season

Ilya

fuck them

they can replace centaurs as worst team in the league

will make it even funnier when drapeau and comeau get sent down to beer leagues from worst team in history

Shane

Thank you

Ilya

for saying the truth

if it gets you sweet i will say whatever you want

your clothes folding before sex gave me a new fetish

i did also notice when they changed formula of your favorite protein powder

you maybe are right about how i tape my stick

Shane

Wow, put my phone down to return my keys to the office and I come back to this

Maybe I should disappear more often

Ilya

dont even joke about that

Shane

I meant, thank you for being so patient for me. For waiting for me to be ready even though it took too long to matter

Ilya

is this you finally opening up or are you having half this conversation without me

Shane

You're being obtuse on purpose

Ilya

the angle?

Shane

What?

I just know that I haven't made this easy on you. You didn't want to wait anymore and I made you and we'll probably be dealing with the cracks to the foundation that's caused for a while…

And I just wanted to make sure you know that I'm not oblivious to it. I know that I have this reputation

Ilya

shane

shanya

stop

Shane

I'm just saying I'm not oblivious. I know I'm not good with cues all the time, but I know when someone is having to put up with my bullshit

Ilya

there is no bullshit no real estate metaphors needed

we are a team

Shane

Я тебя люблюI love you

Ilya

Я люблю тебя больше всего на светеI love you more than anything

and i am glad you talked to me and i did not have to hear this from your diary

Ilya 💖🖤

Today, 12:17PM

Ilya

you are very mean man, shanya

Shane

I don't know what you're talking about

😇

Ilya

im sorry

i will never do it again

they are already picked up

and i washed all the sheets and changed the ones one the bed for when you get home

Shane

Thank you, baby 🥰

Keep reading my diary and you can sleep with Anya tonight 💖

Ilya 💖🖤

Today, 12:29PM

Shane

If you even think about responding to that tweet the way I know you're thinking about responding, I'm spending our last free weekend at my parents and I'm taking Anya with me

Ilya

would never dream of calling you a sub in front of the thousands of twitter followers you have watching your diary

not like you have not already told them you are sex god who is inventing new ways to be fucked every day and that all of your stupid ex-team mates are sad virgins who only know missionary

Shane

And if you ever want hear anything else that comes out of this beautiful mind you'll make your next reply something good

Ilya

always for you моя любовьmy love

but be honest with me first

its kind of sexy playing lily and jane yes?

we do again?

Shane

Guess it depends on how Lily responds