cap's (not) girl needs entertainment

BEST metros players 💪💪💪

Guys
I'm so fucking bored
JJ
Didn't know you were capable of that, Capitaine
What's that supposed to mean?
JJ
Mon ami
What.
JJ
Absolutely no offense intended, of course
But you are boring as hell
So, I didn't think that you being bored is even an option?
Wow
You're a dick
Well, apparently it's possible for my boring ass to be bored
Hayden
Wanna trade?
I would love me some boring right about now
Or just some quiet time
Or a gun to end it all
I'm not picky at this point
JJ
Oh no, you have to raise your fucking kids that you and your wife had on purpose
I'm so sorry for you, Hayden
Must be rough
Hayden
Spare me with the sarcasm, dude
I know how it sounds
But both Jade and Ruby are sick
And very whiny about it
And Arthur is basically non-stop babbling on about his special interests
Which I would normally love, but right now I'd just prefer if everyone shuts up
I'm hiding in the bathroom as we speak
JJ
Father of the year over here
Hayden
Leave me alone 😭
And Shane, if you're so bored
Why don't you just text Lily?
I'm sure she can distract you
What?
Who's Lily?
I don't know a Lily
Hayden
Come on, man
Not this again
JJ
That tactic doesn't work on us anymore, Capitaine
We know that you have a girlfriend
Or something like that
(We don't judge)
((...Maybe we judge a little))
(((It's been at least 5 years since you started texting her)))
((((Make it official finally... God.))))
Named Lily
I don't appreciate the passive aggressiveness in your messages, JJ.
Hayden
Not denying her existence anymore, eh?
Shut up Hayden
Don't you have kids to neglect?
Hayden
Wow wtf??
Rude
I guess, I should go check on them, then
Betrayals really always come from the ones closest to you...
Can't have my childless best friend judge me for needing a brief moment of peace and quiet
JJ
That's not the comeback you think it is
But well, anyway
Shane, mon ami
Just text her
... Fine
You two are useless anyway
Hayden
Damn, you're mean when you're bored
😗

Lily 🌷🩷

I'm bored
And don't even dare say something like "But you are so boring, how can you be bored?? Is like water complaining it is wet."
Entertain me
ah hello
bratty hollander
who suddenly has become a mind reader it seems?
No mind reading necessary
I've heard it before, almost word for word
From Hayden and JJ, as well as you
I know you pretty well at this point
ah yes, you know me so well...
but you are friends with rude people
you should cut them off
Considering you wanted to say the same thing, I should cut you off too, then?
what
no when i say it, is funny
silly hollander
i am so much better than horrible metros players
and you would miss my dick
do not even try to deny it 😏
because you cannot 😏
Anyway
oh i see 😏
I'm still waiting for the entertainment I've requested
demanded*
Same thing
brat ❤️
🖕🏼
but you are my brat 😘
facetime then?
No, I can't
My mom's monitoring my phone use and would probably get suspicious if my allowed screen time goes up by 10 minutes
10 minutes?
are we in a rush today?
would take at least 40 minutes
i have not seen your pretty face in so LONG
It's not even been a week since we've last facetimed
like i said
LONG time
too long
WAY too long
Right, well...
Same point still applies
And there's also still the "No unnecessary exercise & stimulation" rule
I guess phone sex falls under both of those terms in a way
Unfortunately
hmm fine
very sad
would have loved to see your beautiful orgasm face
but i understand
cannot have it all 💔
I'm upset about it too, if that helps you
it does a little 😔
but i already have a brilliant idea to help with your boredom
Oh yeah?
What's your idea?
Hello?
...
Ilya?
Don't fucking leave me on read
Asshole
Read 8:10 PM

Boston's Darlings 💋

Dani
🗣️ Ladies!!!
🗣️ Roll Call!!!
Mel
Present!!
Emma
AM FUCKING HERE!!!
Stella
Hi everyone!
I'm also here :))
Emma
Always so polite
Stella
Well, at least one of us should have manners 😘
Emma
BOOOOOO
Boring Canadian 🙄
Stella
You just proved my point, good job Em ❤️
Emma
Fuck you Stella
Taylor
I'm just going to ignore their antics
I'M ALSO HERE!!
Mel
What do you need us for, Dani?
Seems urgent
Did we forget to plan something??
Dani
Nope, everything's still on track so far
But I have some INSANE news
You're going to lose your minds, I tell ya
Emma
Enough with the foreplay, Hammersmith
What's up??? 👀👀
Dani
You probably won't believe me
But I just secured the number of Rozzy's INFAMOUS-
Drum roll please
Emma
Fucking hell
The way you're teasing right now really teaches us A LOT about your sex life
I hope you're aware of that
Stella
Girl 😭
Taylor
Well
She's not lying
Dani
I'm still waiting for the drum rolls over here
But I mean, if you don't want to know
That's fine, too
Emma
See???
She's not even denying it anymore
Mel
Wanted to say that someone should save Brad
But I'll just assume that he's exactly where he wants to be
But okay, here you go
🥁🥁🥁🥁
Taylor
🥁🥁🥁🥁
Stella
🥁🥁🥁🥁
Emma
This is so fucking dumb
Whatever, I'll play along
🥁🥁🥁🥁
Dani
I just secured the number of Rozzy's INFAMOUS-
🥁🥁🥁🥁
JANE!!!! 🎉🎉🎉
He gave me her number to add her to this chat
Mel
NO FUCKING WAY
Stella
What???
Are they finally official??
Dani
He didn't say, but I guess so???
Stella
Wow, I never thought I'd see the day
Taylor
That's so exciting!!
But I'm a little worried
Dani
Why?
Taylor
Emma's been too quiet
Emma
Okay damn
I guess, I'm into edging now
The payoff was so fucking worth it
I feel great
Taylor
Oh nevermind.
There she is
Being an absolute freak, as always
Okay
Emma
Are you kink shaming me in my safe space?
Unbelievable
I really thought you're better than this, Taylor...
Dani
My God, please behave 😭
Roz said that Jane's pretty shy and we can't have her run away as soon as I add her
Be cool for once in your life, Em 😭
Emma
Dani
My darling
Sweetheart
Light of Brad Hammersmith's life
This infamous Jane is fucking Roz
For a few years now, from what I've heard
And I've seen pics of Roz's back after he spent a weekend with her
She's probably a bigger freak than him
And therefore also a bigger freak than me, too
Stella
I'm not sure if that's possible
Dani
Sure, whatever you say, Em
But please be nice
And this time, I mean all you
I'll add her now
Daniela Hammersmith added Jane (Rozanov) to the chat.
Dani
Welcome Jane!!
We're so excited to finally have you in the chat!!
Hello??
Sorry, but what's this??
And why am I here??
Dani
The Boston Raiders WAGs group chat!
Roz gave me your number to add you
Oh, for fucks sake
I'm going to kill him
Emma
Aggressive
I like it 😏

Lily 🌷🩷

Adding me to the Boston WAGs group chat??
REALLY???
THAT'S your brilliant idea???
yes of course
you demand entertainment while you are injured
and they are very entertaining
you can text them even when i am not available
sounded like a good idea to me
It's an absolute fucking insane idea
Plus, I'm not a WAG??
technically you are
No, I'm really not??
We're not even officially together yet
"yet"? 👀👀
... Shut up
The problem with me being in the WAGs chat is that I'm neither a wife or a girlfriend
Or a woman for that matter
i agree, wag is not the most inclusive term
but should work for now, no?
Did you miss the part where I said that I shouldn't be in the chat because we're not even together, or??
they do not have to know that
You want me to lie to them?
you are not lying
just bending the truth a bit
little white lie
no big deal
and about the "not official YET" part
marley's ex girlfriend is also still in the chat
soooooo
Oh.
and you need more lady friends
so you never have to talk to rose landry again
You'll never let this go, will you?
of course not
Right...
Okay fine
I'll stay in the chat
But don't get mad when I share all of your dirty secrets 😗
what??
jane????
get back here??
hollander???
SHANE????

Boston's Darlings 💋

Dani
Jane?
I'm so sorry for just adding you out of the blue
I really thought that Roz would've talked to you about it...
Emma
RIP Rozzy
There goes the Cup this year 😔
You wouldn't have won it this year anyway
Emma
OK BITCH WHATEVER 😭
Taylor
Coming in with a chirp?
That's Roz's girl, alright
Not his girl
Not officially, at least
And I'm sorry for my first impression
I didn't know that Ilya's plan to fix my boredom would include me being added here
Emma
So, we're just a means to an end for you, Jane?? 😔
Your personal Jesters??
Is that all we are to you??
What?
No!!
Oh my God, I'm so sorry
I didn't notice how rude my message sounds
It's just...
He said that he had an idea and fucking left me on read for like 10 minutes
And this is what he came up with???
No offense to any of you, of course
I'm sure you're all lovely
But it's really not what I expected to happen today
Or ever, really
I'm sorry
Emma
OMG please calm down
I was just joking 😭
You're all good, I swear
Oh
Okay
I'm sorry
Emma
And please stop apologizing so much
...
Emma
Don't say it
I really want to say it again
Emma
God, you're just like Stella...
Are you Canadian by chance?
Yeah?
I thought you knew that already?
I'm from Montreal
Emma
WAIT PAUSE
ARE YOU MONTREAL JANE???
Yeah?????
Again, I thought you already knew that...
Emma
I may have failed to connect the dots there
Stella
OMG I'm from Montreal, too!!
I'm finally not the only Canadian in here anymore
It was horrible in here all alone 😔
I can imagine
You've been so brave, sticking up with all these Americans on your own until now
But don't worry, I guess I'm here to stay
For a while at least
Dani
Hell no, girl
You're staying forever
You managed to lock down Ilya fucking Rozanov
You're a legend
I mean, we're not officially together
So there's really no need for unnecessary titles
Emma
Definitely not unnecessary
You're a goddess walking among us lesser women
Locking down that absolute whore of a man
I'm feeling like a broken record already
But we're NOT officially together
I didn't lock him down or anything
So saying all of this really isn't necessary
Mel
You're maybe not officially a girlfriend yet, but this is probably the most serious I've ever seen Roz about a girl
Out of all of us here in the group chat, I know him the longest and the best too, probably
Since he's Cliff's best friend
Whenever I hear him talk about you, he gets super romantic
He'll of course deny it, but I even saw him blush 🤭
Emma
But "Russian's do not blush", of course
Mel
Of course
He's basically over the moon
Head over heels in love with you
Love?????
Let's not get ahead of ourselves...
We only just agreed to become more exclusive a few months ago
There doesn't need to be any talk of love
Emma
So, let me get this right...
You're not officially together, but you're exclusive with each other?
Basically, yeah
Emma
Girl what the fuck??
What??
Those are two very different labels??
It's very complicated, okay???
Dani
And that's completely fair
I don't expect a relationship, or whatever you two have, is simple when it comes to Roz
It does make me happy to hear that you two are back to talking again, though
Stella
True, I'm happy to hear it too
Roz was doing horrible the past few months
Taylor
Craig still complains that everything hurts
And he probably won't ever stop bitching about it
Yeah, sorry about that
That was completely on me
I'd rather not expand on that, though
If that's okay
Was a really messy time of our lives that we're still working through
Dani
Of course!
Never feel pressured to tell us anything, please
We'll always be here to listen and not judge
And whatever you should tell us will also never leave the chat
WAG secrecy and all that
Okay
Thank you
So, I know we got a little distracted, but I really need some names here
To save your numbers
And I also have no fucking clue who "Craig" is
Taylor
LMAO
Right, we completely skipped the introductions
Sorry! 😭😂
I'm Taylor! Craig Connors' girlfriend :)
Dani
I'm Daniela, Brad Hammersmith's wife
But I just go by Dani in here :)
Emma
I'm Emma Carmichael, Ryan's wife :)
Stella
Je m'appelle Estelle! But you can call me Stella ✨
And I'm Victor St-Simon's girlfriend
(Hopefully Fiancée soon 🤫)
Dani
Hell yeah!!! Get that ring girl!! 😚😚
Mel
And I'm Melanie or Mel, Cliff Marleau's ex-girlfriend
Dani
In case you're wondering why Mel's still here, despite being broken up with her player
The boys kept Cliff and we girls kept Mel in the breakup
Simple as that
Oh yeah, Ilya mentioned that she's still in the chat. That makes sense
Dani
If you want to share anything about yourself, go right ahead
No pressure, though ❤️
I mean, there isn't really much to share, I think
I've been told that I'm quite boring
Emma
But apparently Roz loooooves boring
Likes*
But sure
He's the one to call me boring most often
I can tell you that I'm from Montreal
And that I work in the sports industry, that's how I met Ilya
But I'm currently not working for medical reasons
Emma
HOLY SHIT WAIT
You're not pregnant, are you???
Mel
EMMA???
You can't just ask her that???
Dani
We're so sorry about her, Jane
No, it's fine. Don't worry!
I'm not pregnant
I had an accident a few weeks ago, so I can't go to work for a while
I'm fine, though!!
Or at least getting there
Dani
OMG!!
Glad to hear that you're fine, though!!
But I still hope that you'll feel better soon ❤️
Thank you :)
Taylor
Is that why you need someone to cure your boredom?
Yes please
My parents don't let me do anything
I'm surprised that my mom hasn't said anything about my screen time yet
And Ilya offered to facetime
But I'm not really supposed to have any too intense stimulation, because of my head injury
If you catch my drift
Emma
Of course 😏
So yeah, need to get entertainment from somewhere else
That sounded rude again, didn't it?
I'm sorry
Stella
Jane
Sweetie
You're all good
And you really apologize too much
Mel
Which means A LOT coming from Stella
Stella
From one Canadian girlie who apologizes too much to the other, you're good here ❤️
Okay
Thanks
I'm just not used to any of this
And I also have to be careful that my parents don't see that I'm in this chat
Would be really fucking hard to explain
Stella
Do they not know about you and Roz?
God no
Taylor
Why not?
They both absolutely hate him
And I'm supposed to hate him, too
Family solidarity, you know
Or something like that
Mel
But you don't hate him?
No
I don't think I ever did, actually
Even when it would've made sense
Emma
Okay damn, Juliet
My name is Jane?
Not Juliet?
Emma
Oh, you sweet summer child
My birthday is in spring?
I'm very confused
Does Ilya talk about another girl called Juliet?
Dani
No, sweetie 😭
Emma
You saying that your family hates him and that you should hate him too because of it, reminded me of Romeo and Juliet 😭
You know?
The Shakespeare play?
Oh.
I feel very dumb now
I should've gotten that reference...
Sorry about that
Taylor
You're all good, I also don't understand Emma's references most of the time
Stella
And again
You're apologizing too much
Right...
I won't say it again
Even though I kinda want to
Dani
You're actually so cute
I don't know what exactly I expected Roz's (not) girl to be like, but it sure wasn't like this
Is that a good or bad thing?
I can't really tell
Dani
Oh, don't worry!! Definitely a good thing :)
You're really sweet!! :)

Lily 🌷🩷

sooooooo 👀
how are you liking the wags so far?
Can't talk
I'm busy with my new friends
you have replaced me already??
and wasting all of your precious limited screen time to talk to my teammates wives and girlfriends??
Of course
That was part of the plan, wasn't it?
NO
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
hollander pick up your phone
you are not replacing me
Geez, relax
I was just joking
you are having a good time, then?
I mean, I guess?
I feel like I'm especially slow at picking up references lately
But aside from that it's been nice
good
if they stop being nice, tell me immediately
i will kick their partners asses for you
Don't really know how that would be helpful, but thanks?
I'll keep it in mind, I guess?

Boston's Darlings 💋

Dani
Alright Jane
How do we best provide you with entertainment?
I haven't really thought about that, if I'm honest
I just know that both my whatever the fuck Ilya is and my two best friends weren't helpful at all
Emma
Seems like our darling Jane has some high expectations and standards
Not really, though?
My best friends told me to text Ilya
And Ilya had me added to the WAGs group chat
They probably just don't want to deal with me lol
Taylor
Baby, that's not really a "lol" statement 😭
What?
Oh
Huh, I guess it isn't
Emma
I can kick Roz's ass for you, if you want
That's really not necessary
Ilya said that he thought adding me here would help me to finally find some more friends
So, what do you guys normally do to waste some time in a fun way?
Girls* sorry autocorrect
Dani
It depends really
Most of the time we just use this space to complain about our men
Emma
Or talk about sex with our men 😏
My favorite topic 😏
Emma, I really didn't want to say anything before
But is your husband aware that he's married to the female version of Ilya?
And should I be worried about him potentially having a crush on my not-boyfriend?
Emma
BITCH WTF 😭😂
Also, "my not-boyfriend" fuck right off 😭😂
🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
Taylor
Jane, you're actually so right
It really is like this chat got infiltrated by a stinky hockey player 😭
Mel
The horror 🤢
I mean, Emma's not a player
And there are generally no players here
So, All's good?
Sorry for making that comparison lol
Dani
You spoke your truth and we respect it 🙂‍↕️
But to get back on topic, we could also play something here in the chat?
Could be entertaining, right?
Like what?
Emma
NEVER HAVE I EVER????
We haven't played that in SO long and I need to know all dirty details of Jane and Roz's sex life
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Please
Stella
Jane
Please say yes
Or this will continue forever
I mean, okay?
I've never played the game, though
How does it work?
What are the rules?
Mel
Usually it's a drinking game at parties
And there isn't really that many rules
Someone asks a "Never have I ever" question and you simply say if you have or haven't done it
Okay
But how do I win?
Dani
I guess, you'll win if you manage to outfreak Emma
Could be a good measurement
Emma
HEY
Okay, I can work with that
Let's do it
Mel
Jane secret freak confirmed??
👀
Emma
Told ya, she's a freak 😏
Stella
ALRIGHT
Let's start with something simple:
Never have I ever used someone else's toothbrush
Taylor
Have
Dani
Nope
Haven't
Emma
Definitely, yeah
Stella
I have, too
Accidentally 😭
EW WTF
NO
Dani
Now that's a strong reaction 😭
Do you even know how much bacteria is found in your mouth??
I don't want anyone else's bacteria in my mouth, fucking sue me
I may suck Ilya's dick regularly but I would NEVER use his toothbrush
I draw the line somewhere
Fucking disgusting
Emma
"Regularly" is a crazy thing to add to that sentence
But I respect it 👀
Taylor
Alright, sore topic it seems 😂
Let's move on, something a little more spicy, maybe?
Never have I ever called my current partner (or whatever Roz is to you, Jane) by my ex's name
Stella
Haven't
Mainly because Vic is the first partner I've been with
Dani
I haven't either
Emma
Me either
Ryan is much easier to moan than Percival, after all
Dani
Still can't believe you dated someone called Percival
Emma
Me either, girl
Me fucking either
Mel
I haven't either
My name isn't Ross Geller
Taylor
💀💀💀
Is this the first time we all haven't done something? 👀
Because I haven't either
Dani
Could be 👀
Mel
Though, our dear Jane has been awfully quiet 👀
Okay Listen
Emma
Jane you DOG 👀
I haven't called Ilya by the wrong name
But I have done it before, in general
Dani
👀
Taylor
👀
Stella
👀
Emma
👀
Mel
👀
I kinda said that I wouldn't talk about it
But fuck it, I guess
It happened in December last year
Emma
You do know that you have to tell us EVERYTHING now, right?
Dani
(Only if you feel totally comfortable, of course)
There isn't much to say about it actually
Ilya and I were no-contact for like 2 months last year, as you maybe know
Judging by the way Ilya tortured your men during that time
Again, very sorry about that
And well, I started seeing someone who has a very similar name to Ilya in a way
I got a little confused by everything that was going on in my life for a moment
And called her by the wrong name during sex
Emma
Wait-
"Her"?
Yeah?
Wait
Oh shit
I shouldn't have said that
Forget I said anything, please
Emma
Noooo, it's all good!
We're all super supportive of queer people ❤️
Like any decent human being should be, if you ask me
Dani
^
Mel
^^
Stella
^^^
Taylor
^^^^
Emma
I was just a little surprised, that's all
Oh okay
Great
Good to know
But now, I don't know what's worse
Accidentally calling my ex-girlfriend by Ilya's name during sex or the fact that I just told you all that 💀
Emma
Nothing embarrassing about it
We love us a Bi-Baddie 😚
I'm not Bi, though
Sorry to disappoint
I'm for the male population only
Emma
You mean, for Roz only 😏
You know what?
Sure
Emma
👀👀👀
I should've realized that about myself much sooner, if I'm honest
Apparently I suck at having sex with women so much, that she explicitly asked me if I'm only into men at our next date
Great conversation
Totally not embarrassing at all
Mel
Good for you for figuring yourself out, though!!
Everyone needs to make some "mistakes" to eventually get to their happily ever after
Hmm
I haven't looked at it this way, but I guess you're right
Thank you Mel :)
Mel
❤️
Dani
We love you so much already, Jane
And nothing will change that ❤️
I'll do the next one!!
Never have I ever had sex under while drunk
Mel
Definitely have, but I'm not proud of it
The first time I slept with Cliff, too 💀
So romantic...
Emma
Girl, same though
I mean, not with Cliff lol
The first time Ryan and I had sex we were both so shitfaced that we didn't even recognize each other the next morning 🧍🏻‍♀️
Stella
Your love story is so inspirational ❤️
Emma
At least I'm married
And not waiting to be proposed to for the past 3 years
Stella
So rude, but I can't even be mad at it
Because it's true 😭
Anyway
I haven't had sex while drunk
I just instantly fall asleep when I reach a certain level of drunk
Taylor
I don't drink, so I haven't
I don't really drink either
And whenever I did drink, I haven't really thought of having sex, to be honest
I did however wanted to jump Ilya whilst high as a kite on painkillers
When I was in the hospital after my accident
If that counts
Taylor
As one does
Emma
Definitely counts 👀👀
I don't understand why Roz calls you boring all the time
You're SO fun
Like, you didn't need to tell us any of that
But you did anyway
And I appreciate you so much for that
Well, you guys are the first people I can really talk to about all of this
Girls**
My "relationship" with Ilya, I mean
My best friends probably don't really care
I mean, they'd probably love to hear about it, but start hating it once I mention Ilya's name
They hate him, too
Dani
Not to sounds preachy
But it really sounds like you need better friends
Friends who'd at least give your not-boyfriend a chance when they meet him
And ignore their prejudices towards him
I make them sound worse than they are
They're great friends to me
But they're also dumb hockey guys
So yeah
Emma
You're best friends with 2 hockey players??
Yeah?
Taylor
What's Ilya's stance on this?
I mean, they're really just my friends
Nothing more
I don't even want to imagine anything else with them
Because EWWW, respectfully
Or disrespectfully, actually
Neither of them is my type
And like, one of them is a notorious serial dater, who can't keep a girlfriend for longer than a week, and the other is married with 3 kids and another one on the way
Mel
Ah yes, the perfect example of the duality of man
And Ilya doesn't have to care that I'm friends with them or worry about anything
Because he knows that I only have eyes for him
Dani
AWWWW 🥰🥰
Taylor
Jane!!!
That was so cute!!!
Emma
WHIPPED 🫵🏾
Mel
Man, I feel so fucking single right now
Emma
Could be because you are, in fact, single
Mel
Fuck you Emma
Emma
No thanks, I have my husband for that 😘
Anyway
MY TURN 😍
Dani
I'm scared...
Emma
Never have I ever have I ridden my man like a horse 😛
Dani
Oh!
That's surprisingly more calm than I've expected
Really???
Stella
Em has absolutely no filter
So, yes. This is very tame for her
Emma
Don't want to scare our new girl away
Stella
Well then 😀
At the risk of sounding very boring, I haven't
Dani
I haven't either 😔
Taylor
Me either
But not for a lack of trying
Mel
I have once, but surprisingly didn't really like it
And like, he's the man. He can put in the work
Emma
Jane, don't leave me alone with these boring bitches
Please tell you have
You don't have to worry, Em
I got you
Emma
OH????? 👀
REALLY???? 👀
All I can say is 🤠🤠🤠
Emma
HELL YEAH
THAT'S MY GIRL 🤠🤠🤠
Mel
Of course Fem-Roz and Roz's (not) girl bond over that 😂
This is actually so much fun
I'm actually a little sad that I didn't let Ilya add me before today
Dani
You're such a darling!!
An unhinged darling, but a darling nonetheless
We're very happy to have you too!! ❤️
Taylor
Does that mean, we've successfully entertained you?
Absolutely
You have done very well, my dear jesters
Haven't had this much fun in a long time
Mel
Aw yay!!!
Okay, I guess it's my turn now 👀
Newbies always go last, sorry Jane
Okay
Never have I ever used a fake name to hide my true identity

Lily 🌷🩷

FUCK
hollander?
what is wrong?
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
shane??
are you ok???
Sorry, fuck
Yes, I'm fine
Just needed to freak out real quick
freak out why?
did something happen with the wags?
No
Maybe?
I don't fucking know
I'm probably just overreacting
what is going on in the wags chat right now?
Can't tell you
WAGs chat secrecy pact
shane
We're playing Never Have I Ever
spicy 👀
And Mel's question was whether anyone in the group has ever used a fake name to hide their identity
oh
that is very on the nose, yes?
Yeah
And now I don't know what I'm supposed to say
say no
you can lie
is ok
I don't want to lie
More than I technically already do
then tell them yes?
But what if they ask questions about it?
you tell them is private and none of the business
That seems rude, though
what are the others answering?
That they've never done it
not even in the club to make gross men go away?
wow
frankly, i am surprised
That's all you're taking away from this???
What am I supposed to do???
Help me
... Please
i can only repeat what i have already said
either you lie or you tell them the truth
ignoring them would be more weird than anything you could say in this situation
Okay...
Let's hope they don't end up hating me
no one could ever hate you and really mean it
you will be fine ❤️
and you can really tell them the full truth if you want
i am planning to tell my team that i am bi soon
do whatever you think is best for you
fine with me either way
You're sure?
yes
very sure

Boston's Darlings 💋

Emma
Jane suddenly got very quiet again 👀
That's usually a sign that she'll say something very unhinged
And I'm so ready for that 👀
Dani
Em, don't pressure her into saying anything please
It's fine if she doesn't want to tell us
Hi, yes sorry for the radio silence again
Had to talk to my mom
She wants me off my phone because I reached my screen time limit
Mel
You're all good! :)
You should really get some rest, dear ❤️
Emma
Yes, please rest
But first I need an answer 👀
So? 👀
I mean, I have used a fake name before
To get some guy off my ass, I guess
Like
In a Club, you know?
I'm actually surprised that neither of you have done that before haha
Dani
Hmm
I guess I never really saw the need for it before
But that definitely makes sense
Taylor
I'm not really a "going to the club" person, so I never had to do that either
No judgment of course
Men can be so gross 🤢
Yeah haha
I don't really go clubbing either, but I like to protect my privacy
I mean, I bought an entire apartment building for me and Ilya to privately hook up in
Emma
SHE'S A FREAK
I KNEW IT 😏
A fucking rich freak, too
Love to hear it 😏
You haven't even heard half of it
Can't reveal all my cards at once though, so you have an excuse to keep me around, I guess
But anyway, I really have to go now
My mom's about to rip my phone out of my hands lol
I'll talk to you another time
And thank you for keeping me entertained, I appreciate it ❤️
Mel
Was lovely to meet you, Jane ❤️❤️
Emma
So thrilled that I finally found my match 😍
See ya Jane ❤️
Dani
Bye bye, Girlie ❤️
Taylor
Bye Jane ❤️
Rest well!!!
Stella
Au revior, chérie ❤️

Lily 🌷🩷

so?
did you tell them?
Nope
I chickened out the last second and used the Club thing you said to lie
And that my mom's angry with me for still being on my phone
and that is totally fine, too
maybe you will tell them the truth one day
maybe you will not
but whatever you decide to do
it is your choice
You're surprisingly supportive about all of this
I fully expected you to laugh at me for freaking out
did not feel appropriate to laugh
Because that usually stops you?
maybe not before
but it does now
do not want to ruin us by being stupid
There's an "Us" now?
would be nice, no?
Yes, it would be
Mainly because Roz's (not) girl sounds stupid as hell
but is not lie either way
you are not my girl
you are my pretty boy with gorgeous freckles and slutty glasses 😛
They aren't slutty
to you they maybe are not
but to me they are 😛😛😛
You're ridiculous...
Facetime?
Incoming call from Lily 🌷🩷

Boston's Darlings 💋

Mel
Hey Girls
I know it's the middle of the fucking night
But is anyone awake?
Emma
HERE!!
I'm also awake
Emma
Our dear Jane awake past 10 pm??
What has the world come to...
Shut up, Em
Facetime with Ilya went a little longer than planned
I'm sure you understand
Emma
Oh 😏
Of course 😏
Get it girlie 😏
You're impossible...
Sorry about that, Mel
What's up?
Why are you awake?
Mel
I may be freaking out a little
My mom had to drive me to the ER
Holy fuck
Are you okay??
Emma
What happened??
Mel
Yeah, I'm fine...
I mean, I guess so?
I woke up with these super intense stomach cramps earlier that came out of fucking nowhere
I tried painkillers, but they didn't really help
So, when it became too unbearable, I called my mom, who immediately came by and drove me to the hospital
Judging by the fact that you're awake and not in surgery right now, I'll assume the pains weren't related to you appendix?
That's where my brain went immediately
Mel
Yeah, no
They thought that too at first
But it's not that
And honestly, thank God for that
Emma
What is it then?
Mel
I'm fucking pregnant
And the pains were preterm contractions or something like that, I actually don't really know
The baby (????????) and I are fine
But I mentally checked out after I was told that I'm pregnant
Emma
Holy shit
WHAT???
You're pregnant???
Why didn't you tell us??
Mel
Oh you know, I wanted to surprise you and all that. Thought it could be fun?
Or maybe I didn't tell you, because I didn't fucking know until now???
What do you fucking think Emma???
Be so fucking for real right now
Emma
Right...
I'm sorry
This is so much information to get at 3 in the morning
Mel
Imagine how I feel right now
So uh...
Should we say congratulations or offer you condolences?
I don't know what's more appropriate right now
Mel
Let's actually go with neither for now
At least, until I finally wrap my head around this...
Alright. That's totally understandable
How far along are you?
Do you know?
Mel
Apparently 34 weeks already????
Oh wow
That's like halfway through the third trimester then?
If my math's not completely off
Mel
Yeah, that's right
So probably very appropriate for me to freak the fuck out
Emma
WAIT
PAUSE
34 WEEKS???
THRITY
FOUR
WEEKS
????
Mel
Yes
Emma
I literally saw you yesterday???
Your stomach is flat as a fucking board???
How the fuck is there a baby the size of a fucking pineapple inside of you right now???
I've been doing some research on pregnancies lately, since my best friend is having another child soon
And apparently cryptic pregnancies are a thing?
Could be something like that?
Mel
Yeah, that's what the doctor said
My body ignored all symptoms of pregnancy, because my brain denied it as an option
So I'm not showing yet
But that will probably drastically change within the next few days. Now that my brain also knows about it...
Emma
Hmm
Yeah, sure but still
That's fucking INSANE
Mel
Fucking tell me about it
The baby's not even my biggest issue, if I'm honest
Because now, after the initial shock, I'm actually kinda excited?
I think???
Could also just be the adrenaline, who knows
And also like, how the fuck do I tell my ex-boyfriend that I'm having his fucking baby???
Are you sure it's Marleau's baby?
Mel
Has to be
Math checks out, at least
I haven't slept with anyone since we broke up
Emma made fun of me for it, because apparently he did
But I don't know
I was just too sad to even think about sex
I'm so sorry...
Mel
And while I'm already being a whiny bitch on main
I want my Cliff back
I miss him so fucking much
And I'm just not just saying all that because I'm having his fucking baby
Emma
Fuck, I feel really bad for joking about you being single all the time now...
I'm so sorry, Girl 😭❤️
Mel
No, it's fine. I didn't want you all to know how I really felt about the breakup.
I laughed about it in the moment
And I get that I'm being pathetic about all of this
But right now, I'm just so sad
Could also be because of hormones
I don't know 😭
You're not pathetic...
May I ask why you and Marleau broke up?
Mel
There wasn't really a reason for it
No arguments, fights or anything like that
We just grew apart, I think
At least that's what it felt like in the moment
But honestly, we both just kinda gave up?
It's hard to explain...
And you want him back?
Mel
Yes
So fucking much...
Okay
I'll see what I can do
Mel
What do you mean?
Don't worry about it
But keep an eye on your phone

Lily 🌷🩷

ILYA
WAKE UP
oh hello 😏
is my needy jane ready for another round already?
do not have to ask me twice
let me wake marley so i can kick him out again
I'm not texting you because of that
I actually need to talk to Marleau
what.
why??
what do you want with my best friend now??
Talk to him
Like I said
It's really important
🤨
ok fine
i will wake him
And then give him your phone
Hurry up
yes yes
you little brat
one second
Hello?
Marleau?
Yup
So you're the infamous Montreal Jane, huh?
What an honour
I've heard many things about you 👀
I'm sure you have heard lots about me, but we don't really have time for smalltalk right now
I need to ask you something
Listen
I'm sure we'd all have a great time
But I don't know if Rozzy's too happy about the idea of adding a third
??????
What the actual fuck??
Can you be serious for once in your life??
This really is NOT what I wanted to ask you??
Calm down 😂
I'm just messing with you 😂
I can see why you and Ilya are best friends...
But anyway
I need to ask you something about Mel
Oh.
How do you know Mel?
I've been in the WAGs group chat for a few weeks already by now
Wow, big step
You and my boy are finally official then?
No, we're not
And my relationship, or not-relationship, is not the important part right now
Stay focused for once, my God.
Right, sorry
So, what about Mel?
Is she okay?
Yeah, she's fine
I don't really know how to best go about all of this
So I'll just ask it straight out
?
Do you still love her?
And please be honest, it's very important
Yes, I do
Really?
I love her so fucking much it hurts
Not to sound pathetic or anything, but I really thought she could be the One
Like THE ONE
The one I'd settle down for
To marry and have kids with one day
You know?
I see...
Why don't you try to get back together with her again?
I don't think she's interested in any form of reconciliation...
She is, though
How do you know?
Did she say something like that?
I can't give you any details
WAGs secrecy and all that, you understand
Just trust me
And call her
She's awake right now and really needs someone to talk to
Okay
I will
Thank you
I'll give the phone back to Rozzy now
He's shooting daggers at me right now lol
Good night, Jane
Night Marleau
Good luck
hello i am back
so what was this about?
you are playing matchmaker now?
Seems like it 🤷🏻‍♀️
Is he calling Mel?
yes
he went outside to have a private conversation with her
Good
And when he comes back, you have to be a good and supportive best friend
Got it?
bossy
i love it 😏
Rozanov.
yes, of course i will be good best friend
but until then 👀
facetime?? 👀
No
I'm going to sleep
My work here is done
you are so cruel
my beautiful jane
always so mean to me
You'll live
Good night Ilya
barely, i think
but when i die, it happens while i am thinking of you and your beautiful freckles
good night shane ❤️

Boston's Darlings 💋

Dani
Oh my fucking God
I just woke up and read back all the messages
Mel, are you okay??
Do you need anything?
I can be on your doorstep in 5 minutes
Mel
I'm good
Really good actually
Better than I thought I would be after these news
Taylor
Holy Shit
I go to sleep at a reasonable time for ONCE in my life
And suddenly there's a Raiders' Baby on the horizon??
Glad to hear that you're doing okay, though
All things considered
Mel
Thank you ❤️
Emma
Sooo
Congratulations?
My condolences?
Congratudolences?
What is it?
Mel
Congratulations would be nice actually
Emma
Well then
Congrats on the goblin!! 🎉🎉🎉
Stella
Congratulations, sweetie 🎉
If you should ever need something, don't hesitate to reach out ❤️
Dani
What Stella said! ❤️
Congrats, my Love 🎉
Taylor
Congratulations!! :))
Hi, I'm awake now too
Congratulations Mel, I'm sure you'll be a great mom :) 🎉
Mel
Thank you all so much ❤️
And Jane
Good that you're here, because I need to talk to about something
Yeah? 👀
What's up? 👀
Mel
How the fuck did you do it??
I have my ways 👀
Stella
What did she do?
Nothing bad
At least, I hope that everything went well?
Taylor
Sounds suspicious 🤨
Mel
I don't know how she did it
But she got Cliff to call me last night when I was freaking out
We talked for hours
So, I haven't actually slept yet lol
Before I could even say anything about the Baby, he said that he wants us to try again
Like, get back together
Dani
A matchmaker in our midst??
That was so nice of you, Jane!!
But how did you know that he also felt that way?
I asked him
Taylor
And he just told you the truth?
Yeah!
I texted him through Ilya's phone last night, because I knew they're bunking together
He was surprisingly honest when I asked him if he still has feelings for Mel
Which made it a lot easier
I didn't say anything about the baby, of course
Just that he should call her and that it's important
Happy to see that it worked
Mel
It worked so well. I'm over the fucking moon
Thank you SO much
Maybe one day, Roz will get to call me Lady Marley after all
Dani
Crossing my fingers for you, Girl!! ❤️
Emma
Melanie Marleau
Sounds SO good, if you ask me 🙂‍↕️
I'm so happy for you, Mel
Seriously
And again, I'm so sorry for making jokes after the break up
That was really uncool of me
Mel
Thank you for apologizing, but it's really not necessary
Love you, Girl
Nothing will change that ❤️
Emma
❤️❤️❤️
Mel
And Jane
If there's ever anything I can do to repay for you this, let me know
I'll do everything in my power to make it happen ❤️
Well, if you're really serious about that offer
You could make sure that Ilya comes to my cottage this summer?
I asked him weeks ago, when I was in the hospital
And he still hasn't given me an answer...
Just "maybe or maybe not, only time will tell"
Fucking asshole.
Taylor
Doesn't he usually go to Russia every summer, though?
Yes, but he's miserable whenever he goes back there
So, I offered him to visit me instead
Fair, I was high on painkillers when I asked him, but still...
Just imagine
Up to 2 weeks with him
Not just a few hours every few months
Uninterrupted and private in a gorgeous cottage by a quiet lake
Without neighbours
Emma
No neighbours, huh? 😏
I know why that's important criteria 😏
So you and Roz get to be as loud as you want, without complaints 😏
You freak 😏
Dani
Emma.
I mean
She's not wrong
Dani
Please stop encouraging this behaviour, Jane...
She'll only get worse...
Emma
You're just jealous that Jane and I are besties now 🙄
Dani
Ah yes, of course.
That has to be it.
We are besties?
Emma
Of course!! 🤩
How could we not be besties???
I've waited so long for someone to match my freak
And now that I have you, I'm never letting you get away 🤩
Sounds like a threat
Emma
If you want to interpret it that way, I don't mind
As long as you'll know that I'm serious either way 👀
And don't worry bestie, we got you ❤️
Mel
Yeah!!
We'll make sure your boy will come to your cottage!! TRUST 😤
❤️

Lily 🌷🩷

did you tell the wags about your summer plans?
I did
and that you invited me?
Yup, sure did
Why?
they are trying to convince me to come to your cottage
are basically not leaving me alone
emma even followed me to the bathroom
said that i cannot "avoid her forever"
and that i "will give in"
What can I say?
They're good friends
Who only have my best interest in mind
OUR best interest, even
they are being noisy
sticking their noses into business that has nothing to do with them
Well that could be, because I made it their business?
I asked them to talk to you
To try and convince you
As a favor for getting Marleau and Mel back together
why did you ask them to do that?
Because I really want you to come
I think it could be really nice
Just us for a while
No need to hide
Doesn't that sound nice to you, too?
it does sound nice
in theory
'In theory'?
yes
but it would only make things more complicated
That doesn't have to be the case
And like, we won't know if we don't try?
Ilya?
I would be really happy if you come
And "come" 😉
Okay wow, I really thought that would make you answer again
Well, whatever...
Just think about it
Please
Read 12:21 PM

Boston's Darlings 💋

Dani
My God, Jane
Your not-boyfriend sure is a piece of work...
Emma
A stubborn fucking bastard
That's what he is
Dani
I didn't want to say it like that
Taylor
It's the truth, though
For once I'm agreeing with Emma
Stella
Never thought this day would come, but I agree with Emma, too
I'm quite irritated by his stubbornness
Mel
I even threatened him that he won't be the Godfather of our baby if he doesn't go to your cottage
But that didn't work either
Sorry girl, we really tried everything 😔
Oh, that's okay
Thank you all for trying, though
I appreciate the effort, even if it remained unsuccessful
I also tried again, but he just left me on read
Dani
You okay, darling?
Eh...
I guess so
I didn't expect him to change his mind
No matter how much I would've loved it
Liked it*
Mel
I just don't understand why he's so against the idea in the first place
I don't understand either
He's giving me such mixed signals lately
Some days he's excited to be with me
And talks about actually getting together and all that
Like officially
But then at the same time, he doesn't want to come to my cottage and spend a few weeks of the offseason with me?
I'm thinking if he would actually want to end it before it gets more complicated, he should just get it over with
And not lead me on like that, you know?
Taylor
God...
Men are really doing everything in their power to constantly piss me off
Mel
Girl, I doubt that he would actually end things
There must be more to this
Because he's OBSESSED with you
Basically doesn't shut up about you
It makes absolutely no sense that he doesn't want to spend the summer with you??
Emma
As Rozzy's long lost twin (in spirit) I can say that I don't understand either
But maybe he'll come to his senses
Yeah, maybe...
I'll try to not get my hopes up, though
Gotta stay realistic...
Dani
🫂🫂

Boston's Darlings 💋

Emma
So, Stella
Wanna talk about it?
Stella
Shut your mouth, Emma
No, I don't want to talk about it 😭
What's going on?
Emma
What?
You don't know?
YOU?
MONTREAL Jane?
Don't know what just happened?
Oh
I see
Fuck you Emma
Emma
😘😘
Love you too!!!
Dani
I'm still a little lost here
What happened exactly?
Emma
The Montreal Metros
AKA Stella's favourite team
Didn't make it to playoffs
They lost SPECTACULARLY to fuckass Ottawa out of all teams
And are therefore out for the season
Yeah, sure
Just pour more salt into the wound
Feels great
So fucking great
Taylor
Don't tell me you're a Montreal fan too...
Of course I am??
How's that even a question??
I'm from Montreal??
And actually, you know what?
While we're already at it
FUCK BOSTON!!!!
Stella
I don't like cussing, but I'll make an exception for this very important chant
FUCK BOSTON!!!!!
YOU SUCK!!!!
Mel
Great, we have two of those now
Enemies among us
Unbelievable...
Taylor
Wait Stella
I thought you only liked the Metros because of family bias
Family bias?
What do you mean?
Dani
Stella's cousin plays for the Metros
Oh nice
That's so cool
Who?
Emma
Their very own #16
The (shitty) defenseman JJ Boiziau!
Oh
Cool
I didn't know that
Stella
Hey!!
He's not a bad player!!
He's second best on the team!!
After Shane Hollander, of course
Emma
Of course
Stella
And for the record, I'm not just a Metros fan because of JJ
Or because I'm originally from Montreal
I just think they're a great team
Mel
And let's be honest here
You also think Shane Hollander is hot
Really?
Stella
Of course I think he's hot
I have eyes?
Dani
Don't tell me you're still not over your little crush on him
Emma
Let's be so for real
That wasn't a "little crush"
She had a fullblown obsession with the guy
Stella
Don't make me sound like a creep in front of Jane 😭😭
You're so mean, Emma 😭😭
Emma
I can be even meaner 😈
Stella
Please don't 😭
Emma
Jane, did you know that our dear Stella tried to flirt with Hollander a few years ago?
Before she got with Vic
And Hollander completely ignored her advances?
Oh wow
Really?
Emma
AND him snubbing her is actually the only reason that she got together with Vic in the first place 🤣
Stella
It's really not that funny 😭
Taylor
It's a little funny 😬
Dani
I also found it a little funny 😬
Sorry, darling
Mel
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't laughing when you first told us that story 😬
Stella
You're all horrible people.

Lily 🌷🩷

Not to alarm you or anything
But I'm going to fucking die
Was nice knowing you
???
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
shane answer your fucking phone
this is NOT funny
shane
shane
shane
shane
shane
shane
what is going on?
talk to me
shane
if this was a joke to see my reaction
i am not laughing
shane
shane
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
answer me now or i will call your mother
Fuck
I'm here
Don't call her
Not that you even could
Since you don't have her number
can find it easily
do not underestimate me
what is happening?
are you ok?
talk to me please
No, I'm not okay
I'm going to die of fucking embarrassment
And it's YOUR fault
Because it was YOUR idea that I join your team's WAGs chat
oh ok
i see
you are ok then?
not dying?
just embarrassed?
No. I'm not JUST embarrassed
I'm fucking MORTIFIED
I can never talk to these girls ever again
what happened?
I just learned that Stella is related to JJ
JJ.
You know him, right??
FUCKING JJ??
MY BEST FRIEND??
She's his COUSIN
oh
YEAH
And I also learned that she used to have a huge fucking crush on ME
And she doesn't know that she's talking to ME
I'm going to kill myself
let us not do anything hasty, yes?
please
they do not know that you are you
so technically there is no reason for you to embarrassed?
Of course there is??
Because what if I fuck up and accidentally tell them who I really am??
Then Stella will know that I know about her past crush on me
And that I apparently completely ignored her flirting with me
And that me telling her off is the ONLY reason she went for St-Simon in the first place
She'll be fucking MORTIFIED
And also very angry with me
No, even worse actually
SHE WILL HATE ME
FUCKING DESPISE ME
This is horrible
I never should've joined the chat
shane calm down please
you are having a panic attack
i feel it through the screen
this really is not that bad
maybe you will all laugh about this one day
I don't think I'll ever laugh again
I have to leave the chat
Delete all their numbers
Pretend that I've never met them
Maybe join a witness protection program and just fucking disappear for good measure
I'm sure I can play Hockey in Europe, right?
You should know that as a European
Any recommendations?
shane
breathe
everything will be ok
and you are not moving to europe
Missed call from Lily 🌷🩷
please answer the call
i will help you calm down, yes?
You'll laugh at me, as soon as I pick up the call
Don't even try to deny it
no
i will not
first i will help you calm down
and then i will laugh
like any good not-yet-boyfriend would
Okay
Fine
Whatever
Call again, I'll answer
Incoming FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷

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Boston's Darlings 💋

Emma
Wait-
Did Jane fucking tell us that she-
HE is a man
And we completely ignored it??
Thank you for the acknowledgement???
It's been 3 fucking days???
Dani
Wait what??
When did you tell us??
Like I already said
3 fucking days ago
Mel
Yeah, no shit 😭
She meant, how the fuck did we miss you telling us?? 😭
Taylor
I scrolled up
She told us in the middle of our Scott Hunter related freak out
So, no shit we missed it 😭
Shit Sorry, he*
Any pronouns are fine, actually. Just please continue to call me Jane
Especially here in the chat
I felt comfortable with telling you about it, but no one else is really supposed to know yet
Ilya wants to tell the team that I'm a man soon, but we haven't talked about the specifics
So, please don't mention it to your partners yet
Taylor
Okay, noted ✍🏻
We'll keep our mouths shut
Dani
Don't worry darling!!
WAGs chat secrecy has you covered ❤️
Thank you ❤️
Emma
Yeah, perfect. You're still Jane in here, no problem
BUT STILL!!
We were freaking out about Scott Hunter tongue fucking his handsome boyfriend
Stella
That's a pretty graphic description
Emma
Shut up Sweetie, not now
Mommy's busy crashing out
Stella
I'm older than you?
Emma
So, as I was saying
They were tongue fucking each other
On the ice
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION
FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE
AFTER winning the fucking Cup, might I add
And you thought "Oh yeah, perfect time to tell them my biggest secret"
It felt like a good time to do it
Emma
Baby, I love you so much
You're my favorite little freak ever
And you actually being a guy will never change that. You could be a teapot for all I care
BUT WHAT THE FUCK
Because no, it really wasn't????
Dani
I hate to say it but I have to agree with Emma...
Emma
HEY??
Dani
That was the worst possible time you could've chosen to tell us
Mel
I have to agree, too
We were so preoccupied that it went over all of our heads
Not all of your heads, but okay
Continue the victim blaming, though
That works too, I guess
Emma
Okay, Mr. Sassy
Wait-
Who noticed it??
Stella did
She texted me right after I said it
Dani
WHAT??
Taylor
Huh???
Stella???
Mel
Seriously??
Ms. Everything-Goes-Over-My-Head noticed it and we didn't??
Stella
You're all so rude to me. I'm not that bad at picking up things??
And honestly, I won't apologize for being a good friend to Jane 🙄
I thought he needed someone to talk to, since he was ignored by you lot, so I texted him privately.
Easy.
Emma
But why didn't you tell us??
Stella
It was not my story to tell
I was waiting for Jane to bring it up again
Emma
Yeah, fair
But Jane...
Why didn't you tell us sooner that we missed your confession?
Well, I'm a very private, but also pretty anxious person, as you should know all too well by now.
And despite Stella telling me that neither of you would have an issue, my brain kept telling me that you were uncomfortable with me, a man, infiltrating this female safe space and that's why you ignored it.
That you were hoping I'd never address it again and just continue like before.
I don't know...
Sorry...
Dani
Oh baby 😭
You have nothing to apologize for!!!
Jane, or whatever your real name is (you don't have to tell us, if you don't want), I'll speak for all of us when I tell you that we don't care you're a man
You're our friend and we love you!!
You're still Jane, our Captain's not-girlfriend
Mel
"Not-girlfriend" in more ways than one apparently
Emma
Mel coming in with the zingers
I love to see it
Mel
And I don't have an issue either
Technically, I can't even do anything but sing you praises, since you got me and my Cliff back together ❤️
Emma
And Dani's right, we love you no matter what!! ❤️
Taylor
I agree with all that has been said, as well :)
Stella
And you already know my thoughts on all of this, from when I talked to you THREE DAYS AGO 😇
Emma
Yeah, yeah
Rub it in 🙄
Dani
I'm glad to hear that at least one of us was perceptive enough, though. 🥲
Don't even want to imagine how you've felt, when you thought we were ignoring you on purpose. 🥲
But I'm curious as to why you suddenly decided to tell us?
I mean, obviously because of Scott and his boyfriend coming out, but was it just that?
Mostly, yeah
But I also started to feel really bad about the constant misunderstandings that I've caused in here
Ilya found them incredibly funny, but I just got more anxious
Emma
What misunderstandings are you talking about?
Wait-
Oh my fucking God
OF COURSE pregnancy isn't something you "personally have to worry about"🧍🏾‍♀️
You're a fucking man 🧍🏾‍♀️
Yeah, that's one misunderstanding I wanted to clear up 😀
Emma
Honestly, I'm just relieved that I didn't accidentally make fun of an infertile girl
You should still learn to be more careful with what you say when and to who
For future reference
Emma
I'm working on it, I promise 🥲
And if hearing that helps, Ilya said me not getting pregnant is certainly not for a lack of trying on his part
Emma
Didn't peg you for the guy to have a breeding kink
But shows what I know
That's really not what I meant, but okay
I didn't even want to tell you, but I guess the King has become a Jester himself
Gotta entertain the Queens with my bullshit
Taylor
That's an insane thing to just tell us
I love it, though
Dani
Taylor??
Taylor
What?
This is how I'm officially announcing that I gave up the fight and I am now also embracing my inner freak
Like Emma, the ultimate freak, would want it from me
Mel
We lost Taylor to the freaks???
TAYLOR???
SERIOUSLY???
Emma
That's my girl ❤️
I'm also not fighting it anymore
Not that I've ever really did, I guess
You already know so much, what's some more details, right?
Emma
And that's my boy ❤️
My two favorite little freaks ❤️
But back to the serious stuff for a moment, though...
Aside from the misunderstandings, I also just really wanted to tell you.
I felt like I've been lying to you ever since I joined the chat and I started getting mad at myself for keeping it a secret for so long.
Because, I didn't know then if you'd be comfortable with me still being here, as you all said this chat is your safe space to complain about men. Mainly your own partners, but men nonetheless.
And me being a man, I thought I was intruding from the start.
I've been breaking my brain on how to finally get it over with and tell you.
Obviously, I was also hesitant at first because Ilya wasn't out to the team yet and while he said that he'd be okay with me telling you the truth about me, I still didn't want to risk anything, just in case.
I'm not implying that I thought you'd be homophobic or something, I know you're not, but I still wanted to be as cautious as possible. Again, just in case...
But then Scott Hunter did what he did.
And you were talking about how his actions will change the Hockey world in a hopefully very positive way and I don't know, I just got carried away, I think.
Probably should've known that your minds were all elsewhere, though.
But well, at least I've said it now.
I'm very thankful that you're still letting me be part of this chat, despite me lying to you for months.
Stella
Jane, sweetie
I already told you that you didn't lie to us
You're just using a different name and different pronouns in this chat for safety reasons
Which is totally understandable
You're still the same person, no matter what your name is or what gender you identify as ❤️
Dani
^
Mel
^^
Emma
^^^
Taylor
^^^^
Thank you, I love you all, too. So much ❤️
Even though, I would've preferred to have this conversation a few days ago.
That much emotional stress wasn't good for my poor heart lol
Emma
Boy 😭😭😭

Lily 🌷🩷

So
so?
I finally had the conversation with the WAGs about me being a guy
oh? how did it go?
did they say why they did not react to your message before?
Yeah, they did
Turns out you were right
The messages simply got lost in the excitement
They told me that I'm still their friend and also still welcome in the WAGs chat
good, am very happy to hear it
was not worried, of course
but is nice to have confirmation either way
I'm so relieved I could cry
And you're also coming to the cottage
Things couldn't be better right now
i am also very excited that i am coming to the cottage
and will be "coming" a lot, too. probably 😏
I should've known that this would come back to bite me
you usually know me so well
I do, I guess
But, there's another thing that I wanted to talk to you about. If now's a good time?
always a good time to talk to you
what is it?
I'm writing a grocery list for our trip to the cottage and I have a few questions
is still a few weeks before i will come to visit
you know that, right?
why are you already writing the list?
I know that
I just like to be prepared
You should know that by now
of course, but you really do not have to stress
i am like a succulent. a very sexy, russian succulent
easy to take care of and difficult to kill ❤️
That may be true, but I want everything to be perfect when you're here
It took me long enough to convince to come after all, I really have to deliver a premium experience now
it will perfect no matter what
just being able to see you for 2 weeks straight, no interruptions
Stop being cute
This is important
I really want to get this list done before my parents come home
Don't want them to ask who I'm buying a case of Coke for
Because I don't know if I could explain it without sounding suspicious
you are buying a whole case for me?
what happened to "ilya you should not drink so many sugary drinks. is very unhealthy. can kill you. and who will give me best fucks i have ever had when you are dead?"
I never said the last part, asshole
It's not untrue, though
I want you to stick around for as long as possible
But I also know that making you drink nothing but water is incredibly unrealistic
smart man
because you are correct
i will limit myself to 1 or 2 cans per day, yes?
Sounds good
Certainly better than your usual 5...
no comment
Do I need to send you the article about the side effects of too much caffeine and sugar again?
no, do not bother
i did not read it the last time and will not read it this time either
Well... At least you're honest
But back to my list
Stop deflecting, please
yes, we will talk about your list
if you promise facetime after? 😍
If I get the list done before my parents get home, I'll Facetime you after
we better hurry up then 🤤
what do you want to know?
i have no allergies or intolerances
Yes, I know that
I was just wondering what kind of foods you like in general
Or, would generally tolerate...
will tolerate even your shitty bird food diet, as long as it makes you happy
will eat literally anything
especially your ass 😛
Rozanov.
i am sorry
I know for a fact that you aren't, but okay. Whatever.
Is it too soon to suggest Tuna Melts as an option?
we can have tuna melts
if you promise that you do not run away after eating them to immediately start dating a pretty movie star
No need to worry about that
The only person I want to date is a handsome Russian Hockey player
you have very good taste, hollander
i say yes to tuna melts then
any more questions or can we just say that you will surprise me with food when i am there?
You're so impatient
sure am 😏
i want to see your pretty face 😏
I guess, I can just surprise you then
perfect 😏😏
we are done then, yes?
good.
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
hollander pick up
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
shane
shane
shane
Missed FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷
God, you really are impatient
Let me get to my room first, damn.
hurryyyy upppppp
Aren't we needy today...
Okay, ready now
ok 😛
Incoming FaceTime call from Lily 🌷🩷

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