Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander

Additional Tags:

Childhood Trauma, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Post-Canon, Gift Fic

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-16 Words: 1,468 Chapters: 1/1

towels on the floor (tears in your eyes)

Summary

With a childhood spent with his mother cowering from his father and his adult life jumping from one-night stand to one-night stand when he isn't chirping people on the ice, Ilya never learned to have an argument with someone without laughing it off or ruining the relationship entirely.
His parents argued constantly, and his father had been cruel about it, too. He never wants to be like that, he'd rather die than hurt Shane, and the thought of Shane figuring out that he could do better than Ilya with his messed up mind and awful manners and leaving him is his worst nightmare...

Notes

Maybe one of these days I'll get around to posting my longer and better thought through Hollanov fic ideas. Today is not this day. I hope you'll still enjoy where the ficlet muse took me!

For Ela, for letting me ramble on and on about my fic ideas <3

The second summer in the cottage, Ilya and Shane are more relaxed with each other.

They have had a full year of dating and are happy to be together in person for several weeks. Ilya feels comfortable in the cottage, no longer like a guest in Shane's house but welcome in his and Shane's shared space.

As he gets more comfortable, Ilya also gets a bit sloppy, starts to leave his clothes on the floor, dishes unwashed still on the table until the next meal, towels bunched up where they won't dry...

It's the latter that really gets to Shane.

He can deal with the dishes - Ilya still does them eventually, it's not like they're piling up too much or like he expects Shane to do them all - and, while he would never admit it out loud, he quite likes the sight of Ilya's clothes in his space, even though he'd still never treat his own clothes that way.

But wet towels on the bathroom floor are going to ruin the towels and worse might lead to mold buildup in the walls over time, so can't Ilya remember to bring them outside to dry or throw them in the wash immediately? He has reminded him several times now, and this time he really has enough and it leads to quite an argument, nothing like their usual happy chirping, Ilya says he's nagging for no reason and Shane snaps back at him, irritated that he's not listening, his voice raising and getting higher as he gets more frustrated - 

Suddenly, Ilya shuts down, a strange blank look on his face as he reassures Shane that of course he will deal with the towels, it's not problem, he promises he will be good, no problem, he can do it - 

He sounds so unlike himself, and his grasp on English grammar sounds worse than it had been in years.

When Shane carefully reaches out to make Ilya look at him so he can ask what the hell is wrong now, Ilya actually flinches, and starts to babble that he understands if he messed things up but he swears he can be better...

"I'm not - I'm not breaking up with you over wet towels, Ilya!" 

He's not sure Ilya even heard him, his eyes still twitching and staring into the distance.

Shane manages to get him to sit down on the couch and crawls onto his lap, hoping that it will reassure him that everything is fine. 

"Hey, we'll figure it out. It's going to be alright, okay? I think you're having a panic attack, or something? I mean, I've never seen you have one before, but I'm pretty sure this is like when I have a panic attack. Or something similar at least. So just breathe with me, okay? I'm here, we're fine, it's just towels..." 

The familiar weight of Shane sitting on him, the smell of his cologne and the laundry detergent where his nose is pressed against Shane's shirt, and Shane's voice in his ear slowly brings Ilya out of his state of panic and terror.

He tries to apologize again, but Shane won't have it.

"You always tell me I don't need to apologize for feeling overwhelmed. Well, you don't have to, either." 

"Not for..." Ilya shakes his head. "I meant for earlier. I made you angry." 

"It was just a little argument, all couples have them, you can't agree on everything and so you argue and have it out and find a compromise or something, and it'll be okay."

Ilya looks rather dubious, and Shane takes his face between his hands, gently holding him in place. 

"I know you maybe... Don't have good experiences of how that's supposed to look like," he says softly, knowing the broad strokes of Ilya's parents' relationship by now, through the few details Ilya has shared with him from time to time, "but it's normal to argue and make up again, I promise. I'm not breaking up with you, I love you. I'm not going anywhere." 

"I don't - I don't want to argue. I don't want to hurt you, Shanya." Ilya's voice is hoarse. 

"It's okay, you weren't hurting me! Irritating me a bit, that happens. It's, um, it's us against the problem? That's something my dad says a lot, when my mom gets into a snit... Um, so, we can figure something out about the towels, maybe you can just bring them outside you don't have to hang them up immediately? It's really more the moisture in the house I'm worried about, not the towels. Or just throw them in the washing machine, as long as the door is closed it doesn't matter that there's wet stuff in there until it's turned on, if that's easier to remember? It'll be fine, I promise."

Shane rambles, unsure whether they should even deal with this right now - the towels really aren't as important to him as Ilya's well-being is, but maybe Ilya will feel better once Shane has shown him that they can find a solution together? 

Ilya wants to agree immediately just for the fight to be over, to promise again that he'll remember from now on, but Shane is so earnest and gentle, his hand stroking through Ilya's curls, he breathes in deeply, relaxes into Shane's embrace and says the truth instead of trying to placate him with lies.

Shane is not an enemy. He doesn't have to lie to make him accept him. Shane has said he isn't going anywhere.

"I don't - if I remember it, I can just bring outside to dry. I don't mind doing that. I just forget, is all." Though maybe after the scare from today, he won't forget anymore, because any reminder of the terror of hurting or losing Shane might be enough to jolt him into action. But he doesn't want to tell Shane that, because he's pretty sure it will just make him sad. 

"Okay. Maybe we can find a better hamper that's airtight or something. Or I'll just pick up the towels and you'll do a different chore I guess. It's okay."

"Yes?" Ilya looks up. He kind of hates how needy he feels, that he needs the reassurance even after Shane has already been so gentle with him... 

"I promise." Shane presses a kiss to Ilya's forehead. "Thanks for being honest." 

"Always being honest with you," Ilya murmurs and snuggles back against Shane's chest. He means it too, he has tried to be honest with Shane ever since Shane has asked for them to be, the first time he came to the cottage. 

"Do you want me to call mom, tell her we're not coming for dinner tonight?"

It's tempting - a part of Ilya wants to curl up under the covers with Shane and ignore the entire world until everything makes more sense to him again - but he likes Yuna and David, and they haven't seen them yet since coming to the cottage last week, and...

"Do you think. When you were feeling bad last winter, and your mama hugged you. Like." The words are hard, harder even because he can't believe he's asking this. 

"Do you want a mom hug?" 

Ilya nods, embarrassed but glad. He closes his eyes, slowly relaxes as he lets Shane hold him.

With Ilya settled against his chest, Shane takes out his phone, opening the group chat with his parents and Ilya, then reconsiders and opens the private one with his mother instead. Ilya's embarrassed enough already, he wouldn't want the reminder when reading the messages later. 

'Hi mom, Ilya is feeling a bit down today, he still wants to come over but maybe we can keep it a bit quiet today, no shop talk? And he'd like a hug from you. Please don't ask why he's not feeling well unless he brings it up, okay?' 

Yuna immediately answers in the affirmative. Sometimes, Shane thinks that his mother eats and sleeps with her phone in her hand just in case she needs to momager react to something at midnight. It's convenient in this case, though. 

"You know, mom and dad argue a lot too," Shane muses. "You'll probably see it happen sooner or later, if we're going over there more often this summer. And they're always fine afterwards, even if they definitely don't even always stick to the them against the problem thing."

He hopes they won't argue tonight, when Ilya is already on edge, but maybe it'll help him to see it in the future, to know that it happens and doesn't have to be the end of a relationship, nor a sign that the relationship is an abusive one. 

Ilya nods again, murmuring something in Russian against Shane's skin. 

Shane rubs his back, leans his cheek on Ilya's hair. 

They're going to be alright.