Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander

Additional Tags:

Established Relationship, Queer Themes, Canon Queer Relationship, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), But actually set in the TV show universe, Spoilers for Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Bisexual Ilya Rozanov, Gay Shane Hollander, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Ilya Rozanov is queer and European

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-08 Words: 1,122 Chapters: 1/1

I am. So what?

Summary

Ilya and Shane discuss their different attitudes towards being visibly queer.

Shane groans and when his husband sends him a concerned look, he lowers the hand with his phone and shrugs. “Mom’s forwarding me requests for interviews, I’m sure you’ll get them too,” he sighs. “It’s like every queer medium wants one. I’m starting to feel like now that we’re married, they expect us to put a rainbow flag in our driveway or something.”

They’ve been married for about a month and the noise around it hasn’t quite died down. Shane would much rather focus on other things. He is still mid-move from Montreál to Ottawa and they have camps and a foundation to run. Training will start again, soon, and Ilya’s teammates – Shane’s new teammates now – keep inviting them to social gatherings. He’s exhausted.

And every day, a new proposal for an interview lands in his inbox.

“We could,” Ilya shrugs from where he’s sitting next to him on the sofa and puts his now empty ice cream bowl down onto the coffee table. The living room still looks mostly like it did when Ilya lived here alone, but they’ve put up a few pictures. Neither of them has the capacity for a full remodel this summer, but Shane thinks it could be a fun project for the next one. They could escape to the cottage and let designers have their way with the space. “Put up a flag.”

Shane rolls his eyes and groans again, turning his attention back to the barrage of emails. He wonders how many he can say no to. 

Ilya gets up. He gathers the dirty dishes, both his and Shane’s, somehow carrying all the bowls and glasses all at once.

There’s quietness around him, suddenly, that Shane doesn’t like.

Something’s off.

Shane puts his phone away and follows his husband into the kitchen. 

“What’s wrong?”

Ilya is putting the dishes away into the dishwasher – the way he always loads it, which is wrong, scientifically, but Shane doesn’t call him out on that. 

“Is nothing,” Ilya rubs his nose as he closes the appliance with one hand.

“Ilya.”

His husband exhales and turns around to lean against the counter, fingers grabbing at the edge loosely. He’s not meeting Shane’s gaze. “I think is different for you,” he says. “Being queer. You’re…” He gestures towards all of Shane still without meeting his gaze. “Just some guy who happens to be gay.”

Shane takes no offense to that, because that’s exactly who he wants to be. 

But he doesn’t know what to say in response, because he doesn’t know where Ilya’s going with it. He’s always kind of assumed they were in the same boat, just two guys playing hockey who also happened to be attracted to men and fell in love with each other.

“Is different for me,” Ilya says, his accent getting a little thicker with emotion. “It’s… Is easy to hide in America. In Canada. People think, oh, he’s an eccentric foreigner, he has cute accent, is, how do you say, expressive… Is a whole thing, yes? Gay or European. And Rozanov likes girls and is European, so is fine.” He exhales heavily. “But in Russia, people kind of can tell. And some don’t care, but some do. My brother does, Father does, my father’s friends… So I tone down. The way I talk, the way I dress. I see an old guy in a suit or a uniform and I don’t even fucking dare to move.”

He grips the edge of the counter tighter. “Brother called me slurs before I even know what they mean. But you know what? I am that.” He says a word in Russian that Shane’s quite sure is a slur. Then he turns his head to meet Shane’s gaze and his eyes are a little watery. “I am. So what?”

Ilya pushes away from the counter and throws his hands in a frustrated gesture. “So fucking what? I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of toning it down. I’m bisexual, I’m married to a man and I love him and I love sucking his dick. And I don’t mind the world knowing. Actually, I want the world to know. Ilya Rozanov is European but he’s also really fucking queer and proud of it.”

Shane takes a deep breath. “And now your husband is asking you to tone it down…”

Ilya shrugs. He’s visibly upset but not in the way where he actually wants to fight, which is worse.

“I don’t want to do that,” Shane says and steps closer to him. “I don’t want you to hide anymore, or to tone yourself down. You’re right that it’s not the same for me.” He puts his hands on Ilya’s shoulders and is pleased when Ilya’s find his hips. “I don’t like being different. And this is another thing in which I am. I don’t like people looking at it, at me. It’s not that I’m ashamed, I’m not. I’m not. I have a hot fucking husband who loves me, how could I be ashamed of that? I just don’t want it to be a big deal. And it’s another thing where I’m expected to be a role model when it’s not something I chose. But I don’t want to make you feel like you can’t be yourself or like you can’t talk about us.”

“And if I want to do interviews?” Ilya asks softly.

Shane swallows. “Sure, we can do a few. There’s a lot of offers, but we can do some.” 

Ilya cups his face with one hand. “Maybe I can do some on my own. I’m much worse role model than nice Shane Hollander, but I don’t mind if I get to brag about my marriage.”

Laughing quietly, Shane leans into his touch. “I think you might be better. In this. All proud and shit.”

“So if I wanted to use pride tape in all games…?”

“Your tape job is your business,” Shane says and winces at how that comes out. “Ugh. I mean, it’s a terrible tape, but I trust you to learn how to play to win with it.”

Ilya laughs. His shoulders loose tension and he pulls Shane close. “And we can get a pride flag, yes?”

“A tasteful one,” Shane agrees. He’s never realized any of these things might be important to Ilya. Now that he knows, he’ll adjust accordingly.

Ilya’s face splits into a gleeful grin. “We’ll have it approved by an interior designer,” he leans in and presses a kiss to Shane’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Shane pulls back to give his husband a serious look. “I have one condition, though.”

“Yeah?” Ilya gives him a questioning look.

“I don’t want you to talk about sucking my dick in interviews.”