Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories:

F/M, M/M, Other

Fandoms:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Brad Hammersmith/Sebbin, Victor St. Simon/Arya St.Simon

Characters:

Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Brad Hammersmith, Sebbin (Heated Rivalry), Connors (Heated Rivalry), Ryan Carmichael, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Scott Hunter (Game Changers), Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

No Smut, No Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders (Game Changers), Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, The Boston Bears Share One Brain Cell, No Beta We Live like Ilya, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Dumb Hockey Boys, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Post-Canon, Cliff Marlow Loves Gossip, Ilya Rozanov is a Little Shit, Gossip, Texting Fic, Idiots in Love, Group Chats, Tequila, Trans Female Character, POV Sebbin

Language:

English

Series:

Part 9 of Just Game Changer things that my brain needs to write, Part 5 of Hammer/Sebbin is my close personal headcanon

Collections:

*Heated rivalry melts my heart*

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-19 Words: 1,924 Chapters: 1/1

Tequila Sunrise and the Dalton Investigation

Summary

The Boston boys have a mystery on their hands.
This one involves several tequila sunrises, Ilya Rozanov's heart eyes, Scott Hunter's help, and an out-of-control group chat.
Are they up for the challenge?

Notes

How many times have I read my own fics in the Hammer/Seb series and pretended it's for context and fact-check?
Too many times! These fics are tickling my fancy just the right way, and I cannot explain how happy these dudes are making me.

Texting fics are so much easier to code than social media fics tbh, and I do love description and beating around the bush and POVs so much, but these might be my new favourite. Thanks for reading, and enjoy! <3

Note: Connections may be made to Things You Learn at a Gay Bar in New York on an All-Star weekend and Will You Maybe Be My Valentine Or Whatever?, so recommended reading?

Sebbin

whose side are you on

Connors

are dad and dad fighting again

Carmy

wtf is it now

Marly

aww is someone not having a good time on vacation

Connors

your girl not fucking you enough @Carmy?

Carmy

no

she left

Marly

left?

rozyyy

LEFT?

Carmy

don't want to talk about this

what are dad and dad fighting about

rozyyy

don't change topic

i left hollander hard in bed for this

he's mad now

Marly

maybe we can add hollzy in here

anyone not in favor?

Sebbin

no

Viggy

no

Hammy <3

no

Connors

no

Carmy

no

Marly added Hollzy to the conversation.

Hollzy

what is this

ilya just told me

hi everyone

thank you for having me :)

Marly

hi hollzy

tell us @Carmy

Carmy

she called me boring

because i didn't want to get up at the ass crack of dawn on vacation to do yoga

rozyyy

???

Hollzy

like before the sun is up

what's happening

rozyyy

ohhhh

Marly

ohhhh

carmy's girl left in the middle of their ibiza trip

Hollzy

sorry Carmichael

breakups suck

rozyyy

you just need to find someone who likes boring

like my husband found me

he's so boring

i love him

hollander also likes yoga at ass crack of morning

i don't do yoga but i like to watch his ass sometimes

Hollzy

ilya

Connors

we know you love him buddy

Carmy

everyone and their mother knows

😑

Viggy

sucks for you dude

roz is not wrong tho

you need to date someone who appreciates your quirks

Hammy <3

fucking hell man

why are you still there

Carmy

i paid for the hotel

their tequila sunrise is mad good

Sebbin

bring me one

also sad you're single again

Viggy

you want him to bring you a cocktail from ibiza???

Sebbin

yes so?

Carmy

thanks guys

can we talk about something else now

like seb and hammer's thing

Hammy <3

what thing

did roz put you up to this

yes we're fucking going couple watching for valentine's again

all of you can fuck right off

Hollzy

what is couple watching?

Carmy

uh what

i was talking about seb asking whose side we were on

Hammy <3

oh ok

Connors

what was that about

Hammy <3

nvm nothing

Viggy

but i want to know

Marly

let it go man

Viggy

fine but tell me later

@Hollzy seb likes to watch people propose on valentine's

they go to like a fancy restaurant and watch couples get engaged

Sebbin

i like watching them without proposals too

Connors

we know

you love love and all that crap

tell us about the fucking bet now

Sebbin

so dalton is at least a little gay right?

Marly

he has the hot bikini gf

Hammy <3

is it gay tho if his girl has a dick

i don't think it is

Marly

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Connors

i knew it!

Viggy

no you didn't

also how do you know @Sebbin

Sebbin

i have eyes

Viggy

she's there?

Hammy <3

they're both here at this thing

@Roz @Hollzy are you still fucking

Sebbin

cuz you're late

rozyyy

hollander only takes two min to come

Hollzy

shut up ilya

we're in the elevator

i hate being late

Carmy

me too

rozyyy

yes boring and boring don't like being late

more boring

Carmy

fuck off rozy

dalton must be a secret tho

Hollzy

didn't connors say he knew

Hammy <3

he always says this when someone comes out

Viggy

connors actually has terrible gaydar

Connors

you're just jealous

i also totally clocked hollander

rozyyy

everyone clocked him

shane is super gay

Hollzy

fuck off ilya

i'm normal gay

Connors

i was the first one to walk in on seb and hammer

Viggy

just means you have the spatial awareness of a housefly

Connors

your chirps are fuck all

what does that even mean

Carmy

means you've hit your face on the glass too many times

Connors

😑

where did @Marly go

he loves this stuff

Marly

i'm on my way

can't miss this

Sebbin

do you even have an invite

Marly

i'll be your date

Sebbin

hammy's my date

Hammy <3

i'll come meet you outside if they don't let you in

rozyyy

marly did you forget you're also hockey player

Marly

right 🤦

Viggy

wait we should have been able to see her dick in the bikini pictures

Sebbin

different girl

Carmy

who's this chick then

Hammy <3

idk

how should we know

Marly

i'm coming to find out

arya is with me

rozyyy

explains dildo socks

she def has a dick

Hollzy

should you even be gossiping about this

rozyyy

boooooooo

Marly

don't make me regret adding you hollzy

Carmy

just got another drink

Sebbin

is it another tequila sunrise

Hammy <3

come here seb

i'll buy you one

Connors

awwwww

Viggy

picture?

Hollzy

isn't that an invasion of privacy

rozyyy

*attached picture*

Viggy

i see what you mean

Connors

i don't see it

Marly

do we think he got traded because of this

rozyyy

ah fuck

Viggy

because of those dildo socks?

Sebbin

edmonton is a better team anyway

Hammy <3

yeah

they were ok with Hart

Carmy

only as long as he didn't come out when he was playing

rozyyy

forgot about him

we should ask if he wants to coach at camp

Hammy <3

we'll coach too

Connors

and me

i can't live with my parents

maybe i should move to ottawa?

Marly

almost there

bring back some of your dad's candles @Connors

Connors

always do

Hollzy

are candles a euphemism for something

you're looking to trade?

Connors

lol no my dad makes candles

also no trade

i'm retiring with these fuckers this year

Hollzy

who else is retiring?

Sebbin

me and hammy

didn't roz tell you

this tequila sunrise is so good

rozyyy

you said it was secret

Hammy <3

but you also don't know that @Hollzy

want another @Sebbin?

Sebbin

yessss

thanks hammy <3

Hollzy

🤐

Viggy

one of you should talk to dalton

rozyyy

we should ask hunter to do it

he is gay elder

Sebbin

dalton's probably not gay

Hammy <3

we didn't think he was

maybe bi or pan

Connors

no one can tell with that much accuracy

Carmy

def not you lol

Connors

🖕🖕🖕

aren't seb and hammer the gay elders

Viggy

don't you remember what happened with price?

Marly

i'm here

they let me in

oh they're right

*attached picture*

*attached picture*

*attached picture*

Carmy

she's hot tho

🔥

dalton has good taste

rozyyy

hollander can ask hunter to talk to dalton

Hollzy

why me

rozyyy

you want me to ask dinosaur

Hollzy

no i'll ask

Marly

ooh Johnson's brought his girl too

she's pregnant af

*attached picture*

Viggy

arya is friends with her

Marly

yep she left me alone 😭

*attached picture of arya with johnson's gf*

Viggy

my wife looks hot

rozyyy

did you send her dick pic?

*attached picture of different angle with arya smiling*

Sebbin

come drink a tequila sunrise with me

Connors

will hammer buy marly one too?

Hammy <3

sure

you want one too @Hollzy

Carmy

you can sniff a candle @Connors

rozyyy

why didn't you ask me :(

also shane only drinks ginger ale

i already got it for him

Hollzy

thank you though Hammer

Scott says he'll talk to Dalton

Hammy <3

I'll buy you one too @rozyyy

Marly

oh hunter's fast for a fossil

*attached picture of hunter talking to dalton*

Viggy

my wife refuses to go back to the hotel so we can have phone sex

rozyyy

my husband also said no

and we can have real sex

he doesn't love me anymore

Hollzy

we can't leave yet

i need to talk to some sponsors

Connors

sugar daddyy

Sebbin

i'm on my fourth tequila sunrise!

Carmy

he'll be too drunk to fuck if you don't cut him off @Hammy <3

Sebbin

i'm never too drunk to fuck hammy <3

Viggy

you know you don't have to write <3 everytime you write hammer's name right?

Hammy <3

it's fine

i can fuck him if he's too drunk to fuck me

it's hollzy who has to worry about roz fucking him

Hollzy

what's ilya doing now

i leave him alone one min

rozyyy

this tequila sunrise is so good

my husband abandoned me

i'm drowning my sad in this

Hollzy

it's drowning your sorrows

fine we can go but don't you want to know about dalton

rozyyy

yesss ok i will slow down drinking

Marly

this tequila sunrise is suprisingly great

*attached picture of hunter walking away from dalton*

@Hollzy i need you to come talk to hunter so we can find out what happened

Hollzy

coming

rozyyy

yes my husband is always coming

Hollzy

you're an asshole

DON'T SAY IT

Carmy

😂

Connors

😂

Viggy

i had grenadine

making myself a tequila sunrise

*attached picture*

what did hunter say???

Hollzy

that was the most awkward conversation ever

scott was mortified

Sebbin

looks good @Viggy

Hammyyyyy <3 i want another where are you

Marly

seb and hammer you were so off man

that's his sister

still has the hot bikini gf

Carmy

is his sister single?

rozyyy

i will ask

Hammy <3

roz no

Marly

*attached picture of roz talking to dalton*

i'm going over there

Sebbin

*attached picture of hollzy dragging roz away while dalton looks scandalized and marly looks delighted*

rozyyy you need another tequila sunrise!

rozyyy

shane is fun police

i love him so much

will you put me in cuffs hollander

then you can fuck yourself on my cock

i'm all yours

Hollzy

you're mine anyway

i love you too

and this is a group chat

no more alcohol tonight

Connors

we've heard worse

Carmy

so is she single?

Marly

i'll give her your number

his hot girl was busy so he brought his hot sister

he's straight

Viggy

huh

can you tell arya to go back to the hotel now

her dress is really working for me

Hollzy

can't you text her yourself

Hammy <3

she said she can go to the bathroom for a quickie call if you want

Viggy

thanks hammer

@Hollzy my wife needs help with good ideas

Hollzy

you are all so weird

Sebbin

*attached picture of tequila sunrise*

one more so not dalton obv but is it gay if you fuck a girl with a dick

or get fucked by i guess

Hammy <3

i already told you

no it's not

Carmy

i like girls

she's a girl

what does it matter

Viggy

i agree with hammer

not gay

ok bye arya is calling

Marly

she's a chick

so not gay?

@rozyyy

Hammy <3

*attached picture of roz staring at hollander with heart eyes*

Hollzy

i don't think so either?

but i'm not an expert

rozyyy

hollander barely knows about being gay

but no not gay

*attached picture of hollander from way too close*

my husband is soooo pretty

Sebbin

hollzy smells so nice

Hammy <3

*attached picture of roz and seb a little too close to hollander*

we're going to go back to the hotel now

Sebbin

yayyy hammy <3

Carmy

again with the <3

do you need to tell us something

Hammy <3

go drown your sorrows in the tequila sunrise

Connors

call me @Marly

what are you not telling me

Carmy

i would ask again but dalton's sister texted meeee

her name is gwen!

Hollzy

happy for you man

ilya and i are going back too

rozyyy

*gif of 18 yr old rozanov doing a thumbs up with overlay text 'Success!'*

i will go get lucky now

@Marly we will talk tomorrow

Marly

ok night!