Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags:

Outing, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Homophobic Language, Mixed Media, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, maybe a little smut, as a treat, no beta we die like ilya’s dad, Smut in ch 2, Anal Sex, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Implied Suicide Attempt, Not Shane or Ilya, toxic workplace, The Metros suck, More smut in ch 10, Semi-Public Sex

Language:

English

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-03 Completed: 2026-03-11 Words: 24,989 Chapters: 10/10

Love’s A Show (I Would Die For You In Secret)

Summary

When a fan video accidentally reveals an intimate photo, Shane must come to terms with the world knowing his biggest secret.

Notes

Yay! A new fic! I’ve really been wanting to do something that’s a mix of social media, texting, and regular prose. This was supposed to be a one shot but very quickly has spiraled out of control and become its own beast, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being but I hope to post once or twice a week!

Title is from “peace” by Taylor Swift
Trigger warning: homophobic language/slurs, vomiting

Chapter 1

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander:  omg my dad is on a business trip right now and is at the same restaurant as Shane Hollander I’m dyinggggggg 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: WAIT HE JUST TOOK A VIDEO FOR ME 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: *video attachment* HE LOOKS SO GOOD IM GOING TO DIE 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: omg did he go say hi or anything???? 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: no! He said he didn’t want to bother him :( im just happy about the video tbh 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: ummmm hey girlie… i dont think you realize that you can see Shane’s screen for a second when he picks his phone up and it looks like there’s something private on there 🫢

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: holy shit is that a dick pic??? 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: I cant tell you what to do but I would definitely delete your video! 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: This post is now unavailable 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: …Did you just out Shane Hollander? 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: I’m going to fucking throw up 

BREAKING: Video shows Shane Hollander receiving explicit photos, calling sexuality into question. 

A video posted to Twitter shows Shane Hollander, captain and starting center of the Montreal Metros, out to lunch with friends and teammates Hayden Pike and Jean-Jacques “J.J.” Boiziau. In the fifteen second long video that has since been removed from the platform, an explicit photo from an unidentified male can be seen in a text thread on Hollander’s phone. Hollander is seen opening his phone, looking at the photo, sending a response, and closing his phone before setting it back on the table. Hollander has never publically commented on his sexuality, but did confirm a relationship with actress Rose Landry in 2017. Requests for comment from the NHL, the Montreal Metros, and Hollander have not been answered at this time. 

Farah: Have you been on social media today?

Shane: …did you ask me to go on social media today?

Farah: no 

Shane: Okay good I was worried I forgot to do something. But no, I haven’t. Is something going on? 

Farah: Do you have time to call me? 

Shane: Sure. One second. 

The first thought Shane has when Farah is purposefully vague about some social media situation is this: Someone knows. 

It’s a paranoid thought, one that has festered for years and years and usually the place his mind goes to immediately when there’s a crisis. Ilya tells him that he’s too tense, that they’re so careful about keeping their relationship hidden away that the chances of them being caught are basically zero. Shane reminds himself of this as Farah connects on the other end of the line, convincing himself that he’s just overreacting for the billionth time. 

“Hey Farah, what’s going on?” He asks as he settles on his couch, skipping over all of the pleasantries. He’s thankful that Farah is just as no nonsense as he is, because she jumps right into the meat of things. 

“Someone posted a video of you online getting a dick picture from who I can only assume if your idiot fiance, and it’s gone viral.” She says with no preamble, and Shane’s heart stops. 

“What?” He asks, his voice cracking. All it takes is one moment for all of his worst fears to come true, for his world to come crashing down around him. He feels the same way he did when his dad caught him and Ilya at the cabin, pure icy dread replacing the blood in his veins. 

“Take a breath, kid.” Farah reminds him, and he can practically see her frown lines from her tone of voice. He does his best, but the air gets stuck somewhere between his airway and his lungs, a stuttering gasp that gives him no good oxygen. 

“Does everyone know?” He asks, his voice brittle and weak. Farah sighs heavily. 

“It’s trending right now. Not that it makes it any better, but the first person who did it didn’t realize what was on your phone when she posted it. It looks like it wasn’t up for long, it was taken down as soon as someone noticed, not that that stopped people from saving it before she did. She’s losing her mind right now and seems to feel terrible, I’m pretty sure it was just a teenager excited about her dad seeing you out and about. Not malicious at all.” Farah says frankly, and Shane thinks that he might throw up. 

  “Fuck.” He says, mind spinning an unable to come up with anything better. 

His phone buzzes in his hand. He pulls the phone away from his ear and sees ‘Lily ❤️’ at the top, and his heart thunders in his chest. He knows the exact moment that Farah is talking about. He had been out with Hayden and J.J. when Ilya had texted him the incriminating nude photo that was currently being shared online for the world to see. It had been a mirror selfie, mercifully only from the neck down, but that is thre only redeeming factor. The rest was horribly salacious, Ilya dripping wet from the shower, gripping his hard cock in one hand while the other snaps the photo. It had made Shane hot all over when he got it, paired with the message ‘I have dessert ready when you get home.’ that had him shifting in his seat to hide how fast he had gotten hard from the promise the photo gave. It had been so quick, just a glance really, but obviously his lack of care had led to the predicament they were in. 

“Ilya’s calling.” He rasps, and Farah hums on the other end. 

“Conference him in.” She instructs, and he does just that, merging the call so they’re all together. 

“Moy lyubov, I am so sorry.” Ilya says quickly as soon as the call connects, his voice dripping with concern. “Where are you? At home? I am on my way now.” 

“Yeah, I’m home.” His voice sounds hollow in his own ears, and he thinks he might be shutting down, icing over all of the frantic things he’s feeling. 

“I’m also on the line, Ilya.” Farah interjects, and he’s glad that he doesn’t have to talk in that moment. 

“Good. Good. Have you heard from Yuna and David?” Ilya asks, and the sound that comes out of Shane is a mix between an exhale and the keen of a dying animal. 

“God, my parents probably saw your dick.” 

“Yes, your mom was the one who told me in the first place, but it’s really blurry, Shane.” Farah says quickly. “I mean, it’s obvious what the picture is, but there isn’t that much detail. I have my team sending cease and desist messages to all of the acccounts circulating the video and any screenshots of it. There’s also a bunch of fans claiming that they’re reporting it when they see it. I’ll be honest, it probably won’t do much, but it’s something.” 

He’s not sure if that makes him feel any better. Really, he still feels like he might throw up or die. Maybe even throw up and then die. 

“Are- are you okay Ilya?” He stammers. “I mean, it’s you in the photo-“ 

“I don’t give a shit. I have beautiful dick, people are lucky to see it.” He says nonchalantly, and Shane somehow manages to snort out a laugh. Ilya Rozanov is a lot of things, but self conscious is not one of them. 

Shane hums as his thoughts pivot, the pit inside of his stomach growing as he stands from the couch and begins pacing his living room. “What are people saying? Has anyone from the league called you? Has anyone figured out who it is?” 

Farah sighs heavily, and he can hear the clattering of her typing on her laptop on the other end of the call. “There’s a lot of speculation- a large majority of people are generally positive, saying they feel bad if this really was you getting outed, showing support and encouraging people not to spread the video. Some people are saying that it was a prank or something, and of course there’s some assholes being homophobic but we always knew that there would be. There were going to be bigots even if and when you came out on your own terms, but it’s been overwhelmingly positive.” She says, and Shane hums softly to let her know that he’s following along. 

He hears the sound of the last bits of a drink being sucked through a straw- probably a ridiculously sized iced coffee if he knows Farah at all- before she continues. “The league hasn’t called yet, but I’m waiting for it if I’m being honest with you. They’ve been pretending that you aren’t gay since you came out to your team, but knowing how Crowell works he’s probably going to want to deny it. As far as I’ve seen, nobody knows or has even guessed that it’s Ilya in the photo and due to the quality I really don’t think it’s likely. There’s speculation that it’s your boyfriend, but that’s it.” 

That’s it. Shane wants to snort. Oh good, nobody has figured out that the person who sent him nudes is his career long “rival”, just a secret gay boyfriend because Shane is obviously a Big Secret Gay. 

“I’m going to throw up.” He says out loud for the first time, the nerves reaching a fever pitch, and when his mouth starts to water unappetizingly, he sprints for the bathroom and pukes up the protein smoothie he had just been drinking. He can faintly hear Ilya and Farah asking him if he’s okay, but their words don’t register in his head as he retches, loud and ugly, into the toilet bowl. 

He flinches hard when a hand lands gently on his shoulder, and he jerks away from the touch, his heart thundering in his chest as he takes in the intruder. His dad is standing above him, a worried look on his face, his mom over his shoulder in the bathroom doorway.

”It’s okay, buddy.” His dad says softly, kneeling down beside him on the plush bathmat, settling his hand on the middle of Shane’s back. “We’re right here, it’s okay.” 

A lump catches in his throat, his eyes burn and the bridge of his nose tingles. “Everyone knows.” He croaks out, the words barely audible. 

“Goddamn it, Shane!” Ilya shouts through the phone, abandoned on the bathroom counter, his voice edging on mania. “Fucking answer me, are you okay?!” 

His mom grabs the phone before Shane can even think about reaching for it. “He’s fine, honey. We’ve got him.” 

Ilya swears in Russian, and if Shane could devote even one percent more brainpower to anything other than the nightmare that he’s living in, he’d probably be able to understand it. But he doesn’t have the energy to try and figure out what his fiancé just said. His tone gave him more than enough information. 

“I feel like I’m dying.” Shane whispers as his stomach turns again, and this time when he throws up, his dad rubs soothing circles on his back. It reminds him of when he was little and hated being sick, and any bout of illness came with tears and shutting down. The touch always grounded him, made him feel safe.

It does the same thing now. 

“I’ll be there in an hour, if I don’t get pulled over for speeding.” Ilya says, and anxiety takes hold of Shane’s heart. 

“Please don’t get pulled over or crash your car because you’re speeding.” He says, his voice tight as he sits back on his haunches while his dad leans forward to flush the toilet. 

His mom sighs softly as Shane peels himself off the floor, rinsing his mouth out with water from the sink. He desperately wants to brush his teeth, and he will as soon as he knows what the hell his next steps are. 

“Ilya, be careful, honey. We’ve got him until you get here. Everything is going to be okay.” She assures him and everyone else in the room. “Farah, I’m assuming you have a plan?” 

Shane hears his agent hum the affirmative, and then more clacking on the keyboard. A second later, his phone buzzes with a new message. 

“Ultimately the decision is yours Shane, but I just sent over a statement. Give it a read and let me know if you want to move forward with it.” 

He doesn’t even need to read it, he knows he really doesn’t have a choice.

Shane Hollander ✅ @ShaneHollanderHockey

Earlier today a video was released that featured a private, intimate conversation and photo shared between my long term partner and me. Though this was far from how I ever imagined I would share this news, and the choice of how and when was ultimately taken from me, I will put the rumors to rest. I am gay, and am proud to stand with the men who have come before me as trailblazers for the LGBTQIA+ community within the NHL- @ScottHunterOfficial and @Troy_Barrett. I ask for privacy as my partner and I navigate our new normal. Thank you. 

-Shane 

Scott Hunter ✅@ScottHunterOfficial: Proud of you, Shane. I’ve got a bar stool waiting for you the next time you’re in New York. 

Troy Barrett ✅ @Troy_Barrett: Paving the way is scary, but worth it. Wishing you and your partner the best ❤️

Becca @BeccaRaider81: holy shit he really got outed. Has anyone checked on the girl who posted the video????

Hannah @EmptyNetAnxiety: literally would never show my face again if I was her 💀💀💀

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: She’s one of my oomfies, she literally feels SO bad rn 

Thomas Flannigan @TomFlan: The NHL needs to put a stop to players posting whatever they want about their personal lives. The league is being overrun by queers. 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: Imagine being this homophobic in 2019. 

Thomas Flannigan @TomFlan: I want to watch hockey, not Faggots on Ice. 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: so out of over 700 players in the NHL, youre mad that *checks notes* three of them are openly gay? 

Hannah @EmptyNetAnxiety: last time I checked they were still playing hockey while being gay, get a life you fucking loser. 

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Summary

Twitter speculation, check ins from friends, and a moment of connection (and property damage)

Chapter Notes

Hey again! Here’s a little bit of angst and a dollop of smut before some more angst next chapter, enjoy!

Ashley @ashloveshockey: sooooo has enough time passed for me to say that Shane Hollander is a bottom 

Luca’s Jockstrap @ sirchirpsalot: GIRL bsffr, the man just got forced to come out an HOUR AGO and you’re making assumptions about the bedroom?????

Luca’s Jockstrap @ sirchirpsalot: probably a correct assumption BUT STILL

Hayden: hey buddy, how are you holding up? 

Shane: the internet is discussing if I take it up the ass or not 

Shane: how do you think I’m holding up

Hayden: sorry that was a stupid question.

Hayden: do you need Jackie and me to come over? We can call the babysitter

Shane: no thats fine, my parents and Ilya are here. 

Shane: thanks though. 

Shane: Has anyone from the team messaged you?

Hayden: yeah a few of the guys have, I’ve been ignoring it. Do you want me to pretend like I didn’t know that you were seeing someone?

Shane: you don't have to lie for me anymore than you already have. Just don’t tell anyone who it is? 

Hayden: you got it. 

Hayden: let us know if you need anything, we’re here for you, man. 

Shane: Thanks Hayd. I appreciate it. 

Rose🌹: hey babe, just wanted to let you know that I’m proud of you ❤️ 

Shane: Thanks Rose. 

Shane: Would have been better if I had gotten to make the choice, but can’t change that now 

Rose 🌹: I know 😢 do I need to go fight a bitch for outing you? Do you know who did it?

Shane: yeah, it was a total accident. A dad took a video of me that I didn’t know about to send to his daughter, who’s a huge Metros fan. He just caught a really bad moment. Farah says she’s just a teenager, it wasn’t malicious. 

Rose 🌹: oh shit

Rose 🌹: I can’t beat up a teenager 

Shane: nor would I ask you to. 

Rose 🌹: …so is it a bad time to ask for all the tea about your boyfriend 👀

Shane: fiancé, actually. 

Shane: and it’s Ilya Rozanov. 

Shane: okay turning my phone off now bye 

Rose 🌹: EXCUSE ME

Rose 🌹: WHAT

Rose 🌹: SHANE HOLLANDER YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON ME AND LEAVE 

Rose 🌹 : SHANE COME BACK

Rose 🌹: OH MY FUCKING GOD???? 

Usually, when Shane’s parents come to see him, it’s a given that they would stay at his house. He has the space and loves spending time with them, but that night after deleting all of his social media apps and eating a dinner that definitely doesn’t fit in his meal plan, his parents start to collect their things. 

“We got a room at the hotel down by the Tim Hortons. We’re nearby if you need us.” His mom says when he gives them a quizzical look, wrapping him a tight hug. 

He doesn’t say it, but he’s thankful that they recognized his need to be alone with Ilya after such a tumultuous day without him having to say anything. 

“We’ll bring breakfast in the morning. I’ll text when we’re on the way.” His dad says as he gives him and Ilya hugs, and then they’re gone, and the only sounds in the house are the drone of the tv from the living room and Anya’s soft snores from her dog bed. 

Shane still feels numb, and standing by his front door, knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are still watching the video, still sharing it and commenting on it and him, makes him want to curl up in a ball and never move again. To go and hibernate in the woods somewhere until people stop caring about him. 

Ilya wraps his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Come take a shower with me. I want to wash the day away.” 

Shane likes that it isn’t framed as a question. He’s gently telling him that they’re going to take a shower and relax, and Shane is more than happy to not have to think for the time being. He can follow directions and not have to worry about making decisions. 

Ilya takes his hand and doesn’t let go of it as they trek through his house, up the stairs and into their bedroom. He doesn’t protest when he’s gently pushed to sit on top of the closed toilet, his mind pleasantly silent as Ilya turns on the shower steaming hot before disappearing back into their bedroom for a moment before coming back in with Shane’s engagement ring in his hand. He had bought the matching one after proposing to Ilya, but he had hidden it away in the safety of his nightstand except for the rare occasions he wore it around the house. 

“Strip, moy lyubov.” Ilya softly commands, taking Shane’s left hand in his before gently sliding the ring on his fourth finger. “I want you wearing only this.” His heart thuds in his chest, his blood heating in his veins, a stark contrast to the icy chill from only a few hours before. He does as he’s been asked, stripping out of his clothes and tucking them away in the laundry hamper while Ilya gets fresh towels from the linen closet, and then he’s leading them into the shower and under the spray. 

The heat of the water melts away the tension in his shoulders, and the reverent way that Ilya runs his hands over Shane’s body, gingerly cleaning him with a soapy cloth, does a good job of washing away the rest. He lets his mind go blank as Ilya washes his chest and shoulders, pressing kisses to his wet skin as he goes. He kneels on the floor of the shower as he moves lower, washing his legs carefully, letting the suds wash away before leaving a hot, open mouthed kiss on his hipbone. Shane shudders with a sigh, and when Ilya presses his tongue to the slit of his hard cock, his knees buckle. 

“Let me take care of you.” Ilya whispers, kissing the tip before swallowing him whole. His loud groan echoes off of the tile, his hands twisting into damp curls as Ilya takes him to the root, his nose pressed against the little bit of pubic hair he likes to keep. 

“Fuck, Ilya-” He breathes out, moaning and whining with every pass of Ilya’s mouth on him. It’s sloppy and wet and if he looks down he knows he’ll see his fiance stroking his own cock- he can hear the wet slap of skin on skin and feel the way Ilya moans around his dick every now and again. His free hand clutches Shane’s hip, and when it drifts around to circle and press against his hole, the blissful bubble that surrounds them pops. 

Ilya feels him tense, and pulls away, looking up at him with concern. “What’s wrong?” 

Shane sighs, his head falling back to the shower wall. “It’s stupid.” He mutters, because it is. Logically, he knows he shouldn’t give a shit about all of the speculation and talk about his life that is currently running rampant- the news of him coming out was being discussed on fucking ESPN before his mom had changed the channel- and he hates how much he actually does care. He cares a whole fucking lot. 

Ilya stands from the floor and takes Shane’s face in his hands, holding him steady. “Look at me, sweetheart.” 

Shane blinks hard, every cell in his body screaming at him to run and hide, but Ilya’s touch is firm and grounding until his gaze settles on his face. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He says, a gentle command. 

“Everyone’s talking about me, speculating about our relationship. I don’t feel like I’m me- Shane. Fuck, I hardly feel like Shane Hollander, hockey player, right now. I’m ‘Shane Hollander, potential bottom’.” He says, feeling idiotic even saying it out loud. When Ilya doesn’t immediately respond, he huffs out a sardonic laugh. “See? Stupid.” 

“Is not stupid.” Ilya says, shaking his head. “Do you want to fuck me? Is that it? Topping will make you feel better?” 

Shane’s nose wrinkles and he shakes his head. He learned a long, long time ago that he has no interest in topping. He likes- no, loves, getting fucked. He just doesn’t like everyone talking about how he chooses to have sex. It feels like one more invasion on top of all of the other ways his life has been put on display against his will. 

“I don’t want to fuck you.” He states plainly. “I just want people to stop talking about me.” 

Ilya frowns, brushing the pad of his thumb over Shane’s cheekbone. “They will not, probably not for a while. But I will block out the noise for us, yes? Can I make it go away for a little while?” 

Shane’s heart clenches in his chest, once again reminded by how thoroughly Ilya knows him. How he can say the exact perfect thing without Shane needing to say a word. 

“Yes, please.” He murmurs, letting Ilya pull him into a slow, deep kiss. He lets himself get lost in it, clutching onto Ilya as he gets backed up against the cool tile of the wall. This time when Ilya’s fingers brush over his hole, he doesn’t shy away from it. Instead he presses back into the touch, panting into Ilya’s mouth as he reaches for the bottle of lube they keep in the shower for moments like these. 

“So good for me.” Ilya purrs into his ear, nipping at the lobe. Shane whines softly at the tease, all but shoving the bottle into Ilya’s free hand before clutching onto his shoulder and pushing his hips forward until his cock grinds against Ilya’s. 

“Fuck, give me some.” He pants, holding his palm flat so Ilya can squeeze some of it in his palm, and then he wraps his hand around both of their cocks, jerking them off together. Ilya grunts against his neck, sucking a bruise into his skin as he slicks up his fingers and presses one into him. 

“Fuck!” Shane shouts, his eyes screwing shut and grinding his ass back as Ilya works him open, and he can’t even come up with a good retort when Ilya chuckles. 

“Good boy, fuck yourself on my fingers.” He praises, rolling his own hips into Shane’s hand as Shane indulges the request, grinding down against Ilya’s hand. 

He’s a panting, whining, begging mess by the time Ilya deems him ready, and Shane is half stupid with lust when Ilya gently maneuvers him how he wants him, opening the glass shower door and nudging Shane’s thigh until he sets his foot on the built in shower bench. Cool air rushes in, and Shane looks up through hazy eyes as Ilya sets his hands on his hips.

”I want you to watch.” He whispers into Shane’s neck, tilting his hips back just enough for him to press inside. He groans low in his chest when he sees the two of them in the mirror, Shane already looking cock drunk as he steadies himself by grabbing onto the shower door with one hand and the towel rack with the other. 

“Do you know what I see?” Ilya asks softly as he begins to move in slow, deep strokes. Shane whines pitifully when the head of Ilya’s cock drags over his prostate, his own neglected cock jerking. Ilya leans forward to murmur in his ear. “I see Shane Hollander, two time Stanley Cup Winner.” 

Ilya kisses cheek. Gives another slow thrust. 

“Shane Hollander, Olympian.” 

His shoulder. Another pump of his hips. 

“Shane Hollander, philanthropist.” 

Another kiss. Another thrust. 

“Shane Hollander, dog dad.” 

Kiss. Thrust.

He thinks he’s going cross eyed, or the mirror is starting to fog. He isn’t sure. 

“Shane Hollander, Rookie of the Year.” 

Kiss. Thrust, one for each word now. 

He thinks he might black out. 

“Shane Hollander, Second overall pick in the 2009 NHL draft.” 

“Oh, fuck you.” He chokes out, and Ilya nips at his shoulder, reaching around his hip to stroke his throbbing cock.

“Shhhh, no, I am fucking you right now.” Ilya says, and whatever come back Shane has dies in his throat as Ilya times the stroke of his hand with the stroke of his hips, turning Shane into mush. 

“I look at you, moy lyubov, and see a beautiful man with a big heart. You are so much more than anyone can ever say.” Ilya says against the skin of his neck, fucking him in earnest now, pressure and heat building low in his pelvis. He isn’t going to last much longer, not with Ilya whispering huskily in his ear while fucking him like it’s the last time they’ll ever do it. 

“You are all of these things, Shane Hollander…” Ilya says, scraping his teeth over the skin of his neck, right below his ear. “While also being my good little cockslut. Now, come.” 

His knees buckle as the heat in his hips explodes into a supernova, his cock throbbing in Ilya’s hand as he comes harder than he ever has before, He thinks he might scream, but his ears are ringing so hard he isn’t sure. He barely registers the creak and groan that rings through the bathroom, but he does register that he’s falling forward, his knees hitting the bathmat outside of the shower, the towel rack still clutched in his fist. Ilya does’t seem to give a shit about the property damage, following him to the floor and thrusting back inside of him, fucking him through the aftershocks of his orgasm before grunting and stilling behind him, pumping his cum deep inside Shane’s ass. 

“Holy shit.” Shane gasps, his heart pounding in his chest as he comes down from the high, smushed on the bathmat as Ilya collapses on top of him. They both take a moment to catch their breath, and then Ilya starts to laugh, his chest rumbling against Shane’s back. 

“We broke the fucking towel rack.” He cackles, pressing a kiss to Shane’s shoulder. “I love you.” 

Shane’s heart warms in his chest, and he lifts his head to look over his shoulder and steals a kiss from Ilya’s lips. “I love you too.” 

He figures he’ll freak out about fixing the massive fucking hole in his wall later. He’s still too fucked out to care. 

That, along with a lot of other things, is a problem for tomorrow. 

Hollander Fam ❤️🇨🇦🇷🇺

Shane: Can you guys pick up a drywall patch before you come over tomorrow? 

Shane: please don’t ask any questions 

Ilya: 😹😹😹

Yuna: …do I want to know? 

Shane: no, you don’t 

David: 👍

Scott Hunter: Hey, I know people are probably coming out of the woodwork to talk to you right now, so really no pressure to respond, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you need an ear. 

Shane: Thanks, Scott. I appreciate it. 

Shane: I’d actually love to talk if you’re free tomorrow. Might be nice to pick your brain about the whole “coming out” thing. 

Scott Hunter: Of course. Happy to answer any questions you have, and would love to hear more about your boyfriend if you’re open to talking about him.

Scott Hunter: I know I didn’t want to shut up about Kip once we were out. 

Shane: This is going to be cryptic as fuck, but I think you might regret saying that. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Scott Hunter: 😂 how bad can it be?

Chapter End Notes

Thank you for reading 🥳❤️

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Chapter Summary

Shane talks to Scott Hunter, and the internet is an ugly place.

Chapter Notes

Here it is! I hope this meets everyone’s expectations lol. Enjoy!

Also, chapter count went up. It’ll probably happen again.

 

TW: mentions of homophobia, mentions of suicide

JJ: Just say the word if someone in the locker room is a dick. We’ll shut that shit down quick. 

Shane: Thanks man. 

JJ: Kind of wish I didn’t learn about your boyfriend by seeing his nudes, but I’ll get over it. 

Shane: Kind of wish I didn’t get outed by the world seeing my boyfriend’s nudes, but I’ll get over it. 

Coach: My office after practice today. 

Shane: yes sir. 

Shane: Hey, hope it isn’t too early. Are you free to talk? 

Scott Hunter: Yeah, just got back from a run. Give me twenty minutes? 

Shane: Sounds good. 

Shane sits down in his office after breakfast the next morning, knowing that he’ll have a few minutes of peace to talk to Scott. His mom is on the phone with Farah still doing damage control, strategizing who is going to reach out to what sponsor to make sure they aren’t going to drop him. His dad and Ilya are up in the bathroom fixing the hole in the wall that both of his parents definitely know was a sex related casualty. He tries to not think too hard about the knowing look he got when they saw the damage. 

Instead, he thinks about what the hell he’s going to say to Scott. His breakfast sits uneasy in his gut as he opens his laptop and opens up the video call software, his knee bouncing nervously under the desk as the dial sound rings through the room. By the time the call connects and Scott Hunter’s face fills the screen, his watch is beeping on his wrist to let him know that his heart rate is high. 

Yeah, no shit. I wonder why. 

“Hey Shane.” He greets warmly, waving at him through the screen. 

“Hey, man. Thanks for agreeing to talk, I appreciate it.” He says back, giving him a stiff, awkward wave. 

Scott flicks the words away with a flick of his wrist. “Of course, I think I can speak for both of us and say that being outed is our worst nightmare, I just wanted you to know that you have someone in the league in your corner.” 

Shane snorts. “Yeah, kind of, but still. Thanks. It really does mean a lot.” 

There’s an awkward beat, and Shane isn’t even sure what he wants to say, and he’s saved by Scott clearing his throat. 

“You heard from anyone on your team yet? Your coach?” He asks, and Shane blows out a breath. 

“Kind of? I mean, the team knows I’m gay, I came out a while back. Hayden already knows that I’m seeing someone, so he was freaking out for me. JJ texted to check on me, but he seemed a little pissed that he didn’t know about the boyfriend. Which I get, a little bit. I’m going to talk to him later. Coach wants me to meet with him after practice today, but other than that nobody else has reached out. Which is fine. I don’t really have an explanation for them.” 

“You don’t owe them one, either. You don’t owe anyone shit.” Scott says fiercely, looking ready to go to bat for Shane, which he appreciates. 

“Yeah, I know, but their questions are just going to lead to more than I don’t know I’ll be able to answer. How did your team react? You know, when you came out. Must have been a hell of a shock, I know it was for us.” 

He doesn’t realize the slip, us, until after it comes out, and this is what he means. How something so simple can say so much- like the fact that now Scott can easily figure out that he’s been with Ilya for at least 2017. 

Why have you been dating someone for at least two years and never mentioned him? 

How long have you actually been together? 

Just who the hell is this guy?

If Scott picks up on Shane’s internal struggle, he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he shrugs. “Yeah, it definitely was a surprise, but overall they were really supportive once the shock wore off. It wasn’t nearly as big of a deal in the locker room as I thought it would have been. Crowell was a bit of a dick about it, but they couldn’t fire me or anything, not without opening up a can of worms that they wouldn’t be able to close.  I’m really lucky, I guess.” 

Something sours inside of Shane. No one on the Metros has been hostile towards him since he came out, but they’ve been far from warm and accepting. It must be nice to have a team around you that’s supportive. 

He wouldn’t know. 

“That’s nice.” He mutters, not really meaning the words. He sighs and leans back in his desk chair. “What was the media like? All the noise online has been… a lot.” 

Scott frowns at that question, his eyebrows drawing together. “Yeah, that was what sucked about it. Everyone wants to put in their two cents, give their opinion or write a think piece. You’ll probably have every magazine, talk show, and podcaster reaching out for an interview, if you haven’t already.” 

They have. His mom mentioned it at breakfast. He told her he has no interest in giving interviews or statements further than the one he’s already made. 

He huffs out a heavy sigh. “I just want to play hockey and live my life in peace. Is that too much to ask? I mean, this is going to sound super shitty, but I never wanted to be some big pillar of representation. Being the only Japanese-Canadian in the league is enough, now I’m the gay Asian guy.” 

Scott nods in understanding. “I felt the same way, man. I just wanted to play, but I didn’t realize how much it would mean to people. You’ll have people tell you how much it means, seeing someone like them out and proud, and it’ll make it all worth it. It’s been rewarding for me.” He says, and Shane can’t help the thread of resentment that pulls in his chest. 

“But I got outed.” He spits, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Where’s the power in that? I didn’t get to kiss my boyfriend after a victory lap, I got his nudes leaked on the internet by a fifteen year old. We haven’t even talked about if we’ll announce our relationship, he isn’t out and we hadn’t planned on coming out until after the wedding this summer.” 

His mouth snaps shut. 

Goddamn it. 

He had been so fucking careful with his secrets, and now he can’t seem to keep them. He sighs and looks up to the screen, cringing internally. For the first time, Scott looks surprised. 

“Oh shit, congratulations.” 

Shane snorts. “We’ll send you and Kip an invitation.” 

The shock wears off quickly, and Scott chuckles, shaking his head slightly. “So, can I ask who the lucky guy is?” 

As if he was summoned, the office door swings open and Ilya strides into the room with a shit eating grin on his face. 

“Shane, call the museum, one of their fossils escaped!” He chirps, and even though he’s out of frame, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who’s speaking. Shane watches as Scott’s face loses color, a look of horror spreading as his jaw drops. 

“No.” 

Shane sighs, and nods once. “Unfortunately.” 

Ilya slinks across the room and drapes himself across Shane’s lap, putting himself firmly in frame. “Hello, Hunter. You are looking very old today.” 

“Get off of me.” Shane grouches, shoving Ilya until he’s in  a more comfortable position. 

“Goddamn it, I had an idea, but I hoped it was wrong.” Scott sighs in disbelief, shaking his head. 

“You knew?” Shane asks, his voice going up an octave. 

Scott is quick to shake his head. “No, I had just noticed a few things over the years, though for a long time I was just imagining things. But seriously, Shane? Rozanov? He’s an asshole.” 

Ilya shakes his head. “Only to senior citizens.” 

Shane smacks his thigh. “Will you fucking knock it off?” 

Ilya glances down at Shane with a lopsided grin, and leans down to press a kiss to his lips. “Fine, I will play nice.” 

Ilya’s definition of nice isn’t even close to Shane’s, but he’ll take what he can get. “Thank you.” 

Ilya turns back to the screen. “Ask questions. I know you have them.” 

“I mean, it makes total sense now why you didn’t want anyone to know.” 

Ilya tuts, “That is not question. Is it time for your nap?” 

Shane smacks him again. “Ilya, please.”

”Give your dog a nuzzle, Hollander.” Scott chirps back, and he can’t help but snort. 

“That’s a good idea.” He muses. Ilya frowns at him, but Shane presses a kiss to his cheek to mollify him. It does the trick. 

“Okay fine,” Scott says, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. “How long have you been together?”

Ilya smiles brightly. “We started fucking before our rookie season. Saw each other casually until 2017, have been official since then.” 

Scott’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of his head. “Holy shit, really? You two have been seeing each other for ten fucking years?” 

Shane nods. “Yep, and kept it mostly a secret the whole time. My parents have known the whole time and Hayden figured it out, Ryan Price walked in on us making out at one of the hockey camps, but that’s it.  Would have kept it a secret even longer if Ilya could keep his dick in his pants.” Shane grouches, and Ilya tuts. 

“I do not think you want me to keep my dick in my pants.” He teases, and Shane gives him a glare. 

“Too soon to start making jokes.” He says, and Ilya gives him a soft look, cupping his cheek in his hand.

”Sorry, moy luybov.” He whispers. He knows that Ilya feels partially responsible for the situation, but Shane doesn’t want him to carry that guilt. 

“Damn. So you think you’ll make it official after getting married? Aren’t you worried about what the league will think? I can think of a few people who would be pissed.” Scott says, and Shane frowns. 

“Yeah, no shit, and yeah we are. That’s what's made this whole thing ten times more complicated. Neither of us want people to think that we’ve ever let each other win or not played as hard against each other, because that’s the furthest thing from the truth.” 

Scott lifts an eyebrow. “Anyone that says that hasn’t seen you play against each other or is just fucking blind.” 

“I love beating him. Is good foreplay.” Ilya says with a grin, and Shane rolls his eyes. He’s not wrong, some of the best sex they’ve had has been after the most brutal of losses for the both of them, but they don’t need to tell anyone that. “As for the league, Yuna and Farah will have a plan, I am not worried. They can’t fire us, would be a lawsuit. And I will fight anyone who gives us shit, easy.” 

“Yeah, super easy.” Shane deadpans, and Scott snorts. 

“Well, whatever happens, we’ve got your back.” 

It feels good, knowing that they have another ally. Hell, having anyone know about his relationship. It’s someone he can actually fucking talk to about the love of his life, and that’s as freeing as it is terrifying. 

They talk for a while longer until Shane forces Ilya to get off of him because his leg is falling asleep, and Scott tells them that he has to get ready for practice. Ilya also needs to get on the road sooner rather than later to make it back to Ottawa for a team meeting, even though he had told Shane that he would skip it if he needed him to stay. As much as he wants Ilya to stay, he had told him that it was fine, and that he was past the point of a total breakdown. 

He knows that the worst isn’t over, probably far from it. There’s more bullshit and fall out to come, but he feels better, lighter after his conversation with Scott. Like he isn’t so alone. 

For now, that’s enough. 

Kendall @ThreeBlindRefs: Literally if I ever see the girl that outed Shane on the street it’s ON. SIGHT. 😤👊🏻idgaf if youre 15 outing someone is so fucking shitty 

Penny ✨@MetroMania24: Hey @HockeyGirlHollander how does it feel to be the massive fucking piece of shit that outed Shane Hollander? 

🏒laura 🏒@PowerPlayPike: tbh if I outed Shane Hollander i would literally just go kill myself 

Chapter End Notes

Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos, and bookmarked. I always write stories that I would want to read, so it feels good to know other people like reading them too!

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter Summary

Things go from bad to worse for everyone.

Chapter Notes

I feel like I should preemptively apologize for the angst in this chapter, and I wish I could say things go up from here, but unfortunately things do get a little worse before they get better.

TW: homophobia/bigotry, suicidal ideation/attempt (very lightly alluded to, not Shane or Ilya), online hate

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: Everyone hates me but nobody can hate me as much as I hate myself 😔✌️

 Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: I’m so sorry to everyone I’ve hurt. I’ll make sure I can never do anything like that ever again. 

His first practice after the leak kind of sucks. Everyone stares at him, and not in a subtle ‘I’m staring but will look away when you catch me’ sort of way, but in the unrelenting ‘I’m staring and I don’t give a fuck if you know it or how it makes you feel’ sort of way. Part of him wants to turn right back around and go home, hide away for a little bit longer. Pretend like his team isn’t looking at him like they don’t know him. But the other part of him wants- no needs to shoulder through this. He needs hockey more than he needs just about anything else on the planet. 

Still, he does his best to ignore the side glances and whispers, because even though everyone is staring at him like they know what his fiancé’s dick looks like, no one actually says anything to him. 

He figures that’s better than them being outright hostile. 

He’s grateful for Hayden and J.J., who stick close by him as they get out onto the ice to warm up, falling into their stretching routine. 

“So,” J.J. says casually, a mischievous grin on his face. Shane’s mostly forgiven him for the dickish text he sent- he gets the leak was a surprise to everyone. He understands that J.J. is probably a little upset that Shane never mentioned a boyfriend, and he plans on fixing that soon, even if he is worried that he’ll go nuclear once he figures out it’s Ilya. “When’s the wedding, Hollander?” 

Shane blanches, and he feels like he might just throw up again, right there on center ice. His eyes cut to Hayden, who looks just as surprised by the comment as him. There can’t be another leak, can there be? 

He clears his throat awkwardly, keeping his voice low as he responds. “How do you know we’re engaged?” 

Now it’s J.J’s turn to pale, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

Shit.

Shane’s never really been good about knowing when people are joking with him and to not take what they’re saying seriously, and it seems like he just fucked himself because of it. 

“I think I have a lot of explaining to do.” He says softly, and J.J. scoffs.

”You fucking think?” He spits, looking hurt and offended. “I thought you were one of my best friends, Shane, but now I’m not so sure if you’re hiding your fucking wedding from me.” 

His eyes cut to Hayden, and though it didn’t seem possible, J.J. starts to look even angrier. ”How are you not freaking out too? Is it because you already know who it is? That you knew Shane was fucking engaged?” 

Hayden cringes, and the look he gives Shane is more than enough to confirm J.J.’s suspicions. 

“Well, fuck me I guess.” He snorts humorlessly, getting up from the ice and starting to skate away. Shane scrambles after him, his heart sinking to his toes. 

“Look, you have every right to be pissed at me, but I swear I have a good reason why we kept things so private. I swear to god if Hayden hadn’t guessed and been right I never wouted have told him either. Just give me a chance to explain. Come over tonight after practice, I promise I’ll tell you everything.” 

J.J. gives him a skeptical look, and Shane thinks he’s going to tell him to fuck off. Finally, after a long moment of agonizing silence, J.J. sighs. 

“Fine.” 

Coach blows his whistle and starts practice before he can say anything else. 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: Is anyone friends irl with Stella??? Her last tweet is kind of freaking me out… 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: we’ve never met in person but I have her phone number, she isn’t answering my texts and all of my calls are going straight to vm. I’m freaking the fuck out trying to find someone who is an actual irl 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: do you know her last name? Could you find her on insta or facebook and try to find her parents?  

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: yeah I follow her personal insta, I’ll see what I can find

Penny ✨@MetroMania24: imagine outing someone and then trying to make people feel bad for you 🙄

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: are you fucking serious??? She’s a fucking KID who made a mistake and people are being awful to her 

Penny ✨@MetroMania24: sorry I’m never going to defend a homophobe and it’s honestly embarrassing that you are 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: you need to log off and go touch some fucking grass. Go fuck yourself. 

Things go from tentatively awkward to downright terrible when he walks into Coach Theriault’s office after practice, hair still wet from the shower and his duffle on his shoulder. 

“Close the door, Hollander.” He says gruffly, not looking up from his laptop. Shane swallows thickly but does what he’s asked, biting the inside of his cheek as he takes a seat in the chair in front of his desk. He has a theory that Coach purposefully picked the most uncomfortable chairs possible, so that if you ever have to sit in one, you know you’ve fucked up. At least, that’s how he feels sitting in one now. 

He sits ramrod straight as he anxiously waits for Coach to finish typing, and when he finally stops and looks up at Shane, he isn’t ready for what he has to say. He had told his mom and Farah that he didn’t need them present, but he’s kind of regretting that now. 

“I don’t care where my players stick their dicks.” His coach starts, and Shane already wants to dig a hole somewhere and bury himself in it. “But I do care when my players fuck up and end up on the news because of where they stick their dicks.” 

Shane thinks it would be a really bad time to say that he doesn’t stick his dick in anything, so he stays quiet and lets Coach Theriault continue. 

“We’re going to make a statement saying we support you or whatever the fuck the PR department decides is best, I don’t really give a shit about how they manage the optics. That isn’t my job. My job is to make sure we play some damn good hockey. All I need to know is that this boyfriend of yours isn’t going to keep you from playing damn good hockey. So, is there anything I need to know? Is this some random you met online? A fuck buddy? Who is he, and is he going to give me a reason to be pissed the fuck off if the world finds out who he is?” 

Shane wonders if he has a shovel at home to dig his hole. 

“Um, he isn’t out. We aren’t going to come out as a couple until after playoffs.” Shane says, shifting nervously in his seat while being purposefully vague. He really hadn’t planned on being asked to tell his coach he it was he’s dating, and he hadn’t come up with anything good to say. 

“I didn’t fucking ask that, did I, Hollander? Is he a celebrity? Someone high profile?” 

“You could say that.” He says, wondering what Farah would do if she was there with him. She’d probably be handling it much better than he is right now. 

Coach doesn’t look impressed by his non answer. “Goddamn it, Shane, I’m about half a second from fucking benching you. Crowell is up my ass, and I’ve had to spend the last eighteen hours cleaning up your fucking mess instead of prepping for our game against Dallas. Stop wasting my fucking time.” 

Fuck it. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get out of this office without coming clean, even though he’s getting really pissed that he’s basically being forced to out Ilya. 

“It’s Ilya. Ilya Rozanov, and he’s not a fuck buddy, he’s my fiance.” He bites out, curling his hands into fists at his sides. 

Coach stares at him slack jawed, like that was the last name that he ever expected for Shane to say. They’re in a silent standoff for a long while, and the longer it lasts, the redder Coach’s face gets. He even sees the vein in his forehead start to throb. 

Shane slowly inhale through his nose, trying and failing to steady his nerves. “Is that all, Coach?” 

He’s being a bit of a smartass, and his comment obviously isn’t appreciated if Coach’s response tells him anything. 

“Is that all?” He says incredulously, his voice getting louder with every word. “Is that all!? You make international fucking headlines because you’re getting fucking cock pictures at one in the afternoon, ruin my evening, then have the fucking audacity to come in here and tell me your fucking a rival team’s fucking captain and you ask me is that fucking all?” 

Shane clenches his jaw. He’s worked his ass off over the last decade to always be the dependable one. He’s first in the locker room and last to leave every single fucking day, showing up to every optional practice and work out, meeting with rookies to make them feel welcome even though he hates those awkward fucking dinners, and all it took was him falling in love to be treated like shit. He’s known that it would be a disaster if anyone ever found out about him and Ilya, but the reaming he’s getting is worse than anything he could have ever imagined. He doesn’t deserve this. He would put money on any of his straight teammates not being treated this way if they were in some sort of scandal. 

He kind of wants to put a pause on the whole meeting and reconvene when he has Farah and maybe even his lawyer, but Coach is on a roll now. 

“What a fucking disaster.” He laughs humorlessly, shaking his head as he leans back in his seat. “And what are we supposed to do if we’re up against Ottawa in the playoffs? Fucking hope and pray you don’t decide to throw the game so your little boyfriend can get another Cup?” 

“Fuck you.” Shane spits, speaking without thinking for the first time in maybe his entire life. Coach’s face goes blank, like he can’t believe the mild mannered Golden Boy really just said that to him, and part of Shane can’t believe that he just said that either. But he’s also had a really, really shitty past twenty four hours, and being accused of letting Ilya win stabs him somewhere deep in his gut and makes all of the anger and frustration of the last day come erupting out. 

“Excuse me?” Coach asks, leaning forward in his desk chair, his pen nearly snapping in the death grip he has on it. 

“If you can really look me in the eye and ask that of me, then you need to look back on every single game we’ve ever played against Ottawa or Boston and ask the same thing. Every game I have played for Montreal, every goal I have scored for us, the two fucking Stanley Cups I’ve brought home, have all been while I have been with Ilya. I have been with him in one way or another for the past decade, before I ever even stepped on the ice as a Metro. He is the love of my life, but I would rather die than let him win a game. We have never played easy against each other, and you fucking know that, and that is not going to change. Not before, not now, and not after we get married this summer and he’s my husband. Until the day I retire, I will never go easy on him, and it’s incredibly fucking insulting for you to suggest that I would.” 

Logically, he knows he’s probably fucked up in a million different ways by everything he just said, but he doesn’t regret it. At least he doesn’t regret it in this moment. 

He’s done with this conversation though. It’s time for him to go. When he stands and grabs his bag, Coach is seemingly pulled from the shocked stupor Shane’s brazenness had put him in. 

“Sit down, Hollander. We aren’t done.” He says, his voice tight, and Shane shakes his head. 

“Call my agent.” 

And then he walks out, not looking back. There’s only one place he wants to be after all of the emotional upheaval of that conversation, and it’s a long fucking way from the Metros practice facility. 

Shane’s Handlers (aka Mom and Farah) 

Shane: Farah, things went to hell with Coach. Call him please. Make sure I still have a job. 

Mom: What happened???

Farah: On it. 

Mom: Shane?

Shane: I’m going to Ilya’s. Have Farah catch you up after she talks to Coach. 

Lily ❤️: Call me when you’re done talking to your coach 

Lily ❤️: Everything will be okay, moy luybov ❤️

Shane: It went bad. 

Shane: I’m on my way to Ottawa. I need you. 

Lily ❤️: of course, I’ll be home when you get here. 

Lily ❤️: what about your game tomorrow? You’ll have to leave early to get to morning skate

Shane: it’s optional. I’ll skip. 

Lily ❤️: skip morning skate? When have you ever missed a practice? 

Shane: there’s a first time for everything, and I don’t really give a fuck right now. I’ll see you in a few hours.  

Shane: I’ve got to have a rain check on tonight. Sorry. 

J.J.: fucking seriously?

Shane: yes, seriously. Things went to shit with coach, so I’m driving to see my fiance. I’ll be back for the game tomorrow. 

Shane: I promise I’m still going to tell you everything, but with him is where I need to be right now. 

J.J.: whatever, man. 

Shane: I can’t deal with JJ right now. Tell him everything, I don’t fucking care at this point. 

Hayden: Are you sure? 

Shane: Yeah. Coach forced me to tell him who was in the picture, made me out Ilya, then said I was going to throw the playoffs if we’re up against Ottawa so Ilya can get another cup. I cussed him out and walked out. 

Shane: I’m going to Ottawa for the night, and JJ is pissed that I flaked. I can’t deal with it, so if he wants to know that bad, just tell him. I’ve got bigger things to worry about. 

Shane: like if I still have a fucking job after the way I just talked to Coach. 

Hayden: Shit. Okay. 

Hayden: Drive safe. 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: This is Stella’s father. She is safe, but will be offline indefinitely. Thank you to her friends who found me and reached out, and shame on every single person who said such awful things to my daughter. Frankly, I did not know humans could be so vile. I beg of you to have some empathy and humanity and remember that words have a profound impact, especially on the young people of the world. 

Chapter End Notes

I promise I’ll make up for the angst with some fluff next chapter.

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Chapter Summary

Farah has a phone call. Hayden gives J.J. a piece of his mind, and Shane has a quiet morning with Ilya.

Chapter Notes

A lot happens in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy! Also, chapter count went up again. It will probably go up more before I’m done.

TW: brief mentions of suicide attempt. Allusions to Ilya’s depression

Direct Message to @HockeyGirlHollander

Farah Jalali: Hello, my name is Farah Jalali and I represent Shane Hollander. Please have a parent or guardian reach out to me at XXX-XXX-8325 or FJalali@holderreps.com at your earliest convenience. Thank you. 

Read

________

The morning after sending the direct message she isn’t sure will ever be seen, Farah’s phone lights up with an unfamiliar number. She’s quick to answer it, flipping her work status on her laptop to ‘on a call- do not disturb’ as she brings the phone to her ear. 

“Farah Jalali speaking.” She says coolly, leaning back in her desk chair.

”Hello? This is Chuck Plemmons, you messaged my daughter Stella on Twitter.” A gruff voice with a slight country twang says on the other end, and Farah almost sighs in relief. She hadn’t run what she’s doing by Shane or Yuna, not wanting to add any more stress to their lives, but after keeping tabs on the young girl’s social media, she felt the need to reach out. The internet had not been kind to her since the video had been leaked, especially when no one in Shane’s circle had any ill will towards her. 

“Yes, thank you for getting back to me so quickly, Mr. Plemmons. I appreciate you giving me a call.” She says neutrally, and she hears a quiet snort on the other end of the line.

”Do I need a lawyer for this call, Ms. Jalali? Because if anyone is getting in trouble for this whole ordeal, it should be me. I’m the adult here, and I took the video. I wish I never had, if that means anything to you.” He asks bluntly, and Farah has to fight to not laugh at the poor man. 

“No sir, I am Mr. Hollander’s agent, not his attorney. I can assure you we are absolutely not planning any sort of legal action against you or your daughter.” She says gently, tapping her nails against her desk. 

There’s a beat of silence, then a soft hum. “Alright then, what can I do for you?” 

Farah sighs. “Well really, this call is about what we can do for you. I’ve been keeping tabs on your daughter’s social media since the leak occurred and we pinpointed where it had come from, and it has not been pleasant, to say the least. Truthfully, I wanted to personally reach out and assure you that there is no ill will on our end, and to check on your daughter.” 

There’s another long pause, and then a heavy sigh. “Is this on the record?” 

Farah purses her lips together, shaking her head even though it won’t be seen. “I’m not a reporter, Mr. Plemmons. This conversation is just between you and me. Shane doesn’t even know I’ve reached out. I can send you an NDA if it would make you more comfortable.” 

”No, that’s alright.” He says, and sighs again. “It’s been a shit show, Ms. Jalali. I know that things probably have not been easy for your client, but things have been real hard around here for us, too. I didn’t even know she had the account until I saw an article talking about the video I took being viewed millions of times. I swear I was only trying to do something nice for my kid, showing her that I had seen the player we’ve been watching since she was in kindergarten. If I had known how this would shake out, I would have never taken the video. Hell, I wouldn’t have even gone to the restaurant. Her stepmom and I have tried to talk with her, make sure she knows that it isn’t her fault, but she’s so young. She cried for hours after it happened, sent herself into an anxiety attack. Her sibling’s queer- and I don’t say that as a slur, that’s what they identify as- and all Stella could talk about was how awful she felt for accidentally outing her idol. How she would hate anyone that did that to Soren. She’s the kindest kid you’ll ever meet, has the softest heart. So having thousands of messages telling her that she’s a terrible person, that she should just go die… she took that hard. She-“ His voice cracks, thick with emotion, and so does Farah’s heart. 

“She’s safe now.” He finally says. “She was about to do something real bad, but we got to her before she could. I broke the damn doorframe from the wall getting into her room, but I’ve never been so scared in all my years. She’s uh,…she’s in the hospital right now. Going to be there for the next couple of days, and then her stepmom and I are going to talk about what options there are. Might be inpatient, might be outpatient, we aren’t sure yet what she’ll need. I just can’t have my little girl thinking the world would be better without her, so we’ll do everything we can to move on from this.” 

Farah is used to high stakes. She has nearly a decade of experience in sports management, and is used to big emotions. She’s had men scream in her face, belittle her, talk to her like she’s a little girl and not a tenured professional in her field. She’s never once let the words get to her or let her composure break. But in this moment, she’s fighting back the tears that want to fall. 

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Plemmons. I want you to know that Shane would never call for the vitriol that Stella has received, he would hate it, actually.” She says softly. 

She hears Mr. Plemmons clear his throat on the other end of the line, and when he speaks, his voice is still heavy with emotion. “I appreciate you saying that. I’m sure you can’t tell me anything, but I sure hope we haven’t made his life harder with all of this. Though I think we probably have.” 

Farah worries at her bottom lip with her teeth. She has to tread carefully here. She might have said that she wouldn’t share this conversation with anyone, but he has made no such promise. She’s always been good at reading people and going with her gut, and now it’s telling her that the poor man on the other end of the phone has had more strife in his life because of the situation than he could ever want. She feels like she can trust him to not run to the media. 

“He’s managing.” She says diplomatically, cringing as she remembers the absolute hell she rained down on his asshole of a coach the night before. She kept him from being benched or fined only because she threatened to sue the ever loving shit out of Theriault and the team for the shit he pulled in his meeting, on behalf of both Shane and Ilya. Yuna had been ready to single-handedly end his bloodline, and talking her down had been a herculean effort. “He has a very good support system around him. He isn’t mad, not at you or at Stella. He knows that it was an accident.” 

“That’s good. That’s good. I’m glad he’s got good people around him.” Mr. Plemmons says with a soft hum, sounding genuine. 

They talk for a little while longer, but they don’t linger on the phone. They’ve both said all that needs to be said. 

When they hang up a few minutes later with Farah promising to stay in touch and making herself available for whatever their family needs, she slumps down in her chair, wishing it was late enough in the day for a glass of wine.  

There’s only one direction to go from here, and that’s to loop in Shane. 

Hayden: You need to lay off Shane. He’s got too much going on right now for you to not be in his corner. 

J.J.: Easy for you to say, you already know all of his fucking secrets, apparently.

Hayden: He never told me anything, not at first. I guessed and he confirmed. 

Hayden: And since you want to be a dick about it, you get to hear it from me, and if you say a word to anyone I will beat you into the fucking ground. 

Hayden: It’s Rozanov. They started fucking before their rookie season, and fell in love along the way. They’ve been together officially for about two years and are getting married this summer after playoffs. I know he’s a dick on the ice, and he’s still kind of a dick off of the ice, but he loves Shane. It’s like they’re both completely different people when they’re with each other. They bring out the best in each other, and when he isn’t being an asshole, Rozanov isn’t that bad. He adores Jackie and the kids, and they call him Uncle Ilya. He plays dress up and tea party with the girls. The twins both had the stomach flu while we were gone on an away series and Ilya drove from Ottawa to help Jackie take care of the kids. He held Amber for like five fucking hours straight because she was going through a sleep regression and didn’t want to be set down and Jacks needed to rest. He gives me shit all the time, but he’s shown up for my family more times than I can count. So if you want to be a dick to Shane because of who he fell in love with, keep it the fuck to yourself. Actually, I just wouldn’t fucking talk to him until you can get your head out of your ass and be a better fucking friend. Yeah, I know he kept a major fucking secret from you, but he has a very good reason for it. Do you know that Ilya could be in major fucking hot water with Russia if he’s outed before they’re ready? That if he has a career ending injury he could have his visa revoked and be deported? Do you know what it’s like in Russia for gay people? It’s really fucking bad. So maybe instead of throwing yourself a fucking pity party because Shane kept something for you, take a step back and realize that nothing about this has been about you. It isn’t about you, so stop making Shane feel like shit because your feelings are hurt. He literally got outed to the whole fucking world not even 48 hours ago. Every news station is talking about him. Everyone is speculating about his life and he’s fucking drowning, and you’re adding another scoop to the shit sundae with your moody passive aggressive bullshit. You’re making his life harder, so you need to stay out of it until you get your shit together. I love you like a brother, but damn am I tired of your shitty fucking attitude about this. So fix it or stay the fuck away.          

J.J.: fuck. 

J.J.: That’s a lot to take in right now, but you’re right. 

J.J.: Thanks for the kick in the ass, man. I needed it. 

Hayden: Anytime. Now go fucking apologize. 

J.J.: I will.

J.J.: God, out of all of the gay men in the world, he had to choose Rozanov? 

Hayden: he’s bi, but yeah, I fucking know. 

J.J.: Hey man, you have every right to tell me to go fuck myself and I would deserve it, but I owe you a big apology. Hayden told me everything and made me realize I’ve been a massive dick. Let me make it up to you? 

Shane: I’d like that. 

Shane wakes up slowly and surrounded by snoring. He’s smiling before he even opens his eyes, Ilya warm and solid at his back and Anya sprawled out against his front. As if it’s a sixth sense, Ilya stirs behind him, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck as he comes awake. 

“You shouldn’t let her sleep in the bed.” He whispers, and Ilya snorts. 

“Maybe if you weren’t an absent father she wouldn’t be sad and need to sleep in bed with me.” He quips, and if his eyes were open, Shane would roll them. 

“Fuck off.” He grumbles, and Ilya scoots closer, throwing his leg over Shane’s hip and nuzzles his neck. 

“No.” 

Shane smiles and lets himself be snuggled, soaking in the quiet peacefulness of the morning. He had been a mess the night before when he got to Ottawa after spiraling for the entire two hour drive, and as soon as he had walked into Ilya’s house to find him waiting by the door, he had lost it. He crumbled the second Ilya’s arms wrapped around him, his descent to the ground softened by Ilya’s gentle grip, and when he started gasping with heavy, labored breaths, unable to get out any real words, Ilya just held him and cooed sweet nothings into his hair until he felt like he could breathe again. He always hated the feeling of losing control of himself, when everything got too overwhelming and he imploded, but Ilya was a soft place to land. 

“How are you feeling this morning?” Ilya asks softly, his fingers tracing light nonsensical patterns on Shane’s arm. 

“Better than yesterday.” He says truthfully. “I’m worried about the game though. I hardly trust my own bench to have my back, let alone another team.” 

Ilya huffs, and Shane doesn’t need to see his face to know that he’s frowning. “Tell me if anyone is shitty. Hunter and I will make them pay for it.”

That makes Shane open his eyes for the first time, his eyebrows furrowing together. “What are you talking about?” 

Ilya shrugs. “We talked. Anyone gives you shit, we will beat the shit out of them on the ice. I will probably have Troy join as well.” 

Shane raises an eyebrow. “What are you, the queer Avengers?” 

“Does that make me Scarlet Johansson?” Ilya teases, and Shane rolls his eyes. 

“You don’t have to defend me, Ilya. People will start to ask questions.” He says. The last thing they need is speculation. 

“Everyone knows we are friends, that was the whole point of starting the foundation, yes? They will think I am being good friend, not sucking your dick. Even though I will suck you if you ask nicely.” Ilya retorts, reaching under the blankets to grope Shane’s ass, but he shakes him off. 

“You’re going to even if I ask you not to, aren’t you?” Shane asks, and Ilya gives him a big, dopey smile. 

“Maybe.” 

Shane rolls his eyes, but isn’t able to respond before his phone starts buzzing on the nightstand. He reaches for it, and Ilya whines when the movement pulls him out of his arms. 

“Ignore it, come back.” He huffs petulantly, and if it was anyone other than Farah calling, he probably would. He hadn’t spoken to her the night before, but she had spoken to Ilya and let them know that he wasn’t going to be in trouble with the team after bitching out his coach. 

“It’s Farah.” He says simply, and Ilya groans, throwing his arm around his waist and pulling him back in as Shane answers the call, turning it to speaker. “Good morning.” 

His voice must still be rough with sleep, because Farah instantly apologizes. “Oh shit, I hope I didn’t wake you up.” 

“You’re fine, we’ve been up for a few minutes. You’re on speaker and Ilya’s here too.” He says, brushing off her concern. 

“Good morning Farah.” Ilya mumbles, not nearly as concerned with appearing awake and alert as Shane is. ”Please do not tell me my dick is on the internet again, it is too early for that.” 

Farah snorts on the other end of the line. “Well, your dick is still on the internet, and I have seen it more times than I ever wanted to, but I am happy to report that there are no new images this morning.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Shane huffs, scrubbing a hand over his face. Is this his life now? Casually talking about Ilya’s junk at seven am? ”Is everything okay?” 

“There aren't any major blowups, but I did want to loop you in on something, even better that I have both of you.” 

Shane’s heart seizes at the grave tone of voice she has, and both him and Ilya sit up in bed, realizing that even though she told them not to worry, it is something serious. 

“What is it?” Ilya asks her, shooting Shane a worried look. He hears her sigh on the other end. 

“The girl who first posted the video has been getting ripped apart on social media- hate mail, death threats, think of the worst things you could possibly say to someone, and she’s hearing it.” Farah starts, and Shane’s stomach drops. 

“Why? It was an accident, she’s just a kid. Yeah it sucks getting outed, but she didn’t mean to. Nobody has any reason to be giving her shit.” He says, and Farah sighs again. 

“The internet sucks, Shane. People are trying to defend you in the worst way possible, and it turned into a witch hunt. I wanted to let you know on the off chance someone writes an article, but last night she made some pretty concerning posts on her account. I reached out and spoke with her father this morning, and he told me that she tried to take her own life because of all of it.” 

“Fuck.” Ilya breathes out, looking pale as a ghost. Shane takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Ilya looks like he’s about to throw up as he inhales shakily. “And did she?” 

“No,” Farah says softly, and Shane can see Ilya visibly relax just a fraction. “Her friends online were able to get in touch with her parents and they got to her in time. They had to break her door down and everything. She’s in the hospital on a psych hold for the next few days, but she is alive. They don’t know what the next steps are, but they’re going to keep her offline indefinitely and get her the help she needs.” 

Shane watches Ilya swallow, his eyes going slightly blank and his jaw clenching. “I will pay for the bills.” He finally says after a long minute of silence, his voice rough with emotion. Shane squeezes his hand harder. “All of them. The hospital and treatment, therapy for the rest of her life if she needs it. Even the house repairs, for the door. They will not worry about any of it.” 

Farah doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then, “Okay. I can make that happen. They will probably try to reject it, but-“ 

“Insist on it. Do not take no for an answer.” He says fiercely, and Farah hums. 

“And when they ask why Ilya Rozanov is insisting on paying their daughter’s hospital bills?” She questions gently, not trying to be difficult but showing them every possible outcome. It’s what they pay her very well to do. 

“Tell them the foundation is paying for it.” Shane offers, and Ilya doesn’t look exactly happy with that idea, and Shane quickly adds, “You can still pay for it, if you feel that strongly about it, but it’s a good way to protect your privacy and maybe make them more comfortable accepting it. I mean, we’re probably talking thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars here.” 

“I don’t care how much it is, or how it gets to them, just that it does.” Ilya says firmly, and Shane brings his hand up to his lips to press a gentle kiss to it. 

Farah makes an affirmative noise, tapping away at her computer. “Consider it done, Ilya. Shane, as much as you hate making statements-“ 

“I can say something. Send me over whatever you think is best and when to post and I will.” He says with a nod. 

“Sounds good. I’ll let you get back to your mornings then, hopefully soon I’ll call with good news.” 

Shane snorts. “We can only hope. That’s for letting us know, and keep us updated on how the girl is doing? Maybe let them know from me personally that I’m sorry that people are being terrible, and that there’s no hard feelings from me?” 

“I will. Her name is Stella.” 

“Stella, got it. Thanks, Farah.” 

She lets them go after that, and when Shane sets his phone back on the nightstand, he rolls over to find a troubled look on Ilya’s face. 

“Are you okay?” He asks gently, tucking himself into Ilya’s side, wrapping his arms around his torso. Ilya sighs and melts into the touch, resting his chin on top of Shane’s head, holding him tight.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” He says honestly. “It is hard, hearing that she felt so bad. I feel like it is my fault.” 

“Ilya-” Shane starts, because that’s an absolutely ridiculous thought. 

“I sent you the photo. How many times have you said that it is stupid and dangerous to send photos like that? You were outed from the photo I sent. That little girl would not have tried to kill herself if I had never sent it. It is my fault.” 

“Baby…” Shane sighs, tilting his chin up to look at Ilya. He hates that this is the first he’s hearing about the guilt he’s been carrying. They’re almost three days post leak, and he hates that Ilya has been feeling bad and hiding it. He understands why, he figures that Ilya didn’t want to make it about him, but it is. The leak, however unintentional, violated both of them. Shane in his sexuality, Ilya in his body. 

“This isn’t your fault.” Shane says softly, shifting until he can look at Ilya dead on, taking his face in his hands. “You can’t carry that on your shoulders, it isn’t fair to you. You had no way of knowing that things would end up like this. If you had sent that photo a minute later, if he had taken the video a minute later, if they had zoomed in a little bit more while watching it, then none of this would have happened. It was just a set of really shitty timing and really shitty circumstances. You have no control over people being shitty online, that’s on them, not you. This is not your fault.”

Ilya bites down on his cheek, eyes glossy with tears. “It is hard to believe that, when my brain tells me such ugly things.” 

Shane frowns, stroking the pad of his thumb over the apple of Ilya’s cheek. “Listen to me instead. I’m not mad at you, I don’t love you any less than I did three days ago. If anything, I love you more. You’ve been my rock, and I want you to lean on me the way I lean on you. Neither of us are alone in this. I don’t blame you for anything that has happened, and we’re going to be okay.”

Ilya’s face softens slightly, leaning into the soothing touch.  He knows that his words aren’t a magic cure, that he can’t fix the dark places that Ilya goes to in his own head with love. But he can reassure him, and be there for him, and be Ilya’s soft place when the world around them is too rough. 

Ilya sighs, closing his eyes and nuzzling into Shane’s hand. “We’re going to be okay.” 

Shane Hollander ✅@ShaneHollanderHockey: I want this to be clear, if your “defense” of me includes harassing a teenage girl and pushing her towards an irreversible decision, then you are no fan of mine and go against everything I stand for and believe in. Despite the chaos of the last few days, I can look back and be grateful that I no longer have to hide an integral part of who I am, or my relationship with the man that I love. If you want to support me, you can visit TheIrinaFoundation.com or follow @TheIrinaFoundation and make a donation to support LGBTQIA+ and mental health initiatives across Canada and worldwide. Thank you. 

*Attached photo: two sets of socked feet propped up on a coffee table, pressed together. Their hands are intertwined and resting between their legs.* 

The Irina Foundation @TheIrinaFoundation: quoted a tweet, “We love and stand by you, Shane! ❤️🏳️‍🌈

Ilya Rozanov ✅@ IlyaRozanovOfficial: quoted a tweet, “I lost my mother to suicide at a young age. It is a decision that breaks hearts and families in a way that can never be repaired. I stand with my friend and co-founder against hate both online and off.” 

Ilya Rozanov ✅@ IlyaRozanovOfficial: Also stop asking me if his boyfriend is hot 

Ilya Rozanov ✅@ IlyaRozanovOfficial: (he is) 

Chapter End Notes

Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos, and bookmarked!

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Chapter Summary

Shane faces the fallout of being an outed player in the NHL. Things reach a boiling point.

Chapter Notes

Sorry for the delay! Hopefully the next chapter will be done by the end of the weekend.

TW: homophobia, slurs

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: oooo Daddy’s mad at y’all 🙈😬

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: HATERS GET FUCKED 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: GET!!!!! FUCKED!!!!!!

Ashley @ashloveshockey: what do you mean y’all fucked up SO BAD that Mr “Never Comes Online” had to come tell y’all not to be shitty 💀

Shane: Made it back to Montreal, about to head to the arena. Love you ❤️

Lily ❤️: I love you too ❤️

Lily❤️: Good luck tonight, show them that you are Shane fucking Hollander. 

Shane: I’m going to try. 

Lily ❤️: Do you not believe me? Do I need to come fuck you in front of the mirror again?

Shane: I don’t know if the towel rack can handle being broken again. 

Lily❤️: 😹

Live Now: Montreal vs Dallas Game Commentary 

Ramos: Good evening everyone and welcome to what has very quickly become an incredibly anticipated match. I am your host, Dan Ramos, joined by my cohost, Luke Cross. How are you doing tonight, Luke? 

Cross: Thanks Dan, and I’m great. Like you were saying, just a few days ago this was set to be your run of the mill hockey game, but overnight has become something that everybody is going to be watching. 

Ramos: For anyone who’s been living under a rock the last few days, starting center and captain of the Montreal Metros, Shane Hollander, made headlines earlier this week when a video was taken of him receiving an explicit photo from who we now know is his long time partner, which he later confirmed online. He is the third player to come out in the last few years- behind Scott Hunter from the Admirals and Troy Barrett of the Ottawa Centaurs. 

Cross: That he is, and while I hate that he wasn’t able to do it on his own terms, it is good to see the sport becoming more inclusive. 

Ramos: I agree with you, the NHL and Metros made a statement ahead of today’s game showing their support for Hollander. You just have to hope that the support is extending into the locker room and places that the cameras don’t see. 

Cross: Only time will tell for that one, Dan. For now, let’s play some hockey. 

Cross: And at the end of the second period we’re sitting at 2-0, Metros. I’ll tell you what, Hollander is on fire tonight!

Dan: That he is, Luke. He’s responsible for both of Montreal’s goals tonight, it really seems like he’s been able to block out all of the noise and focus on his game. A lot of people were wondering if he would be distracted tonight, but he’s as calm and laser precise as he always is. 

Cross: It seems like he’s the only one, his defensemen have missed more than one check on him, he really is getting beat up tonight, but he’s not letting that stop him. 

Dan: Yeah, and that’s a testament to how good of a player Hollander is, to be able to get hit so many times and still be able to perform at such a high level. I look forward to seeing more of that energy as we go into the final period. 

Hollander Fam ❤️🇨🇦🇷🇺

Ilya: If his team lets him get hit one more time I am going to burn the arena down

Ilya: this is bullshit 

Ilya: their defense is bad but not this bad 

David: We know. 

David: Yuna is too stressed to text but she agrees. 

Ilya: She will help me burn it down 🥰

David: Don’t give her any ideas. 

Every inch of his body is sore as he peels his gear off after the game, bruised muscles screaming with every move he makes. He winces as he finally removes the last of his pads, leaving him in his sweat soaked under layers. 

”You good?” Hayden asks softly, and Shane gives him a look that tells him everything he needs to know. He isn’t about to accuse his teammates of letting the other team beat him to shit, but from where he’s standing, that’s what it feels like. 

“Hollander!” Coach shouts from the entrance to the locker room, looking at him with barely masked resentment. Things had been understandably tense between the two of them since their confrontation yesterday, and neither of them are hiding the fact that they’re both pissed with the other. Shane looks over at him, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Yes, Coach?” 

“Media wants to talk to you before you hit the showers.” He says, and then walks back out before he can respond. He groans quietly and winces as he stands from his cubby, wishing more than anything that he had the option of saying no. 

“Want us to come with you?” J.J. offers, and from the other side of the locker room, Comeau snorts. 

“Aw, are your boyfriends offering emotional support? Can’t handle a little media, Hollander?” He taunts, and Hayden and J.J. both go stiff beside him, bucking up for an argument. Shane can’t even be bothered to get angry. He’s exhausted and annoyed at this point. 

“My boyfriend lives out of town, actually.” Shane says with a shrug, and Comeau’s face twists in confusion. 

“What?” 

“I’m not dating Hayden or J.J., I mean you know Hayden’s married, right? You were at their wedding. They’re just being good friends since my life has become a shit show and my actual boyfriend can’t be here in person. But he did promise me a good time over a video call if I played well tonight, so I’m going to handle the media and go get laid. Hopefully you have someone waiting for you even though you couldn’t block to save your life tonight.” Shane says with a nod, and then he strides out of the locker room, not wanting or needing to hear what Comeau has to say in response. 

He isn’t sure what’s made him so bold lately. Maybe getting outed and being at the center of a media circus makes you stop giving a shit about a lot of things. All he knows is that his teammates, the men he thought of as brothers for a decade, let him get beat to hell on the ice tonight. They didn’t bat an eye when he got checked harder than was ever necessary, didn’t speak up when slurs were hissed at him by the other team. J.J. and Hayden hadn’t heard the worst of it or else they would have done something, but he told them to let it go. He wasn’t going to give the other team a power play as a reward for their bigotry. 

As promised, the media is waiting for him outside the locker room, and he gives them a brief nod. 

“Good evening.” He says politely, crossing his arms over his chest as the bright light of cameras surround him. 

“Shane, Elle Olivers from Hockey Tonight, how are you feeling after tonight’s game?” The first reporter asks, and Shane’s thankful that it’s an easy one. 

“It’s always great to come away with a win, especially a shut out. You can’t ask for more.” He says with an easy smile, because he means it. Even though his team didn’t have his back, he still scored the only goals of the game, and their goalie was never going to let pucks into the net to spite him. 

“How do you think the events from this week affected your game, if at all?” Another reporter asked, someone he couldn’t see because of the lights but vaguely recognized by their voice. 

He knew that the questions about him being outed were coming, and he had been dreading them, but Farah had coached him on what to say while he was driving back from Ottawa that afternoon, and he was thankful for the prep. 

“I don’t think about anything else on the ice but the game in front of me, and I think the results of the game reflect that.” He says with a curt nod, leaving it at that. It’s kind of a lie- he had to ignore the sounds of boos when he skated out, which were thankfully drowned out by louder cheering, and his coach still wouldn’t look him in the eye, and half of his teammates wish they could fling slurs at him the way the other team had, but he had always been able to block out the bullshit once he was on the ice. Hockey was his refuge, and he wasn’t going to let anything taint it. 

“There has been speculation regarding who the man in the video might be, do you care to comment on that?” 

Shane lifts an eyebrow. “As I mentioned in my original statement, he is my long term partner, who has been incredibly supportive the last few days. As for any speculation on who he is, I kindly ask for our privacy to be respected. We will come out when we’re ready.” 

“Is there any reason why you are holding back on confirming his identity?” It’s the same person as the first time, and Shane has to fight to not roll his eyes. 

“Do we need a reason?” He says, not really caring if he sounds bitchy. “He isn’t out, just like I wouldn’t be if I had any say in it. On that note, I want to publically and clearly say that I have no ill will or anger towards the individuals who took the original video. Those that went on to continue spreading and sensationalizing my private life are a completely different story, though. Nobody owes anyone the details of their lives, and every member of the LGBTQIA+ community should have the time and space to come out in their own time, and their own terms. As for me, I just want to play hockey, and that is what I plan to do. Thank you for your time.” 

He strides away, not having anything more to say to the prying reporters. There will probably be headlines about it before he even leaves the arena, but after the day, no days, he’s had, he doesn’t even care. 

He just hopes the next game day is better. 

Live Now: Montreal vs St. Louis Game Commentary 

Cross: Welcome back everyone. For those just now tuning in, we are heading into the third period of yet another absolutely brutal game for the Montreal Metros, especially for their captain, Shane Hollander. 

Ramos: That’s right, Luke, and you can tell he’s starting to feel it. He’s doing his best, and even as banged up as he is he can still skate rings around lesser players, but it has got to be rough getting as beat up as he has been the last few games. 

Cross: Makes you wonder what’s going on behind the scenes on the Metros bench. Normally you’d have an enforcer out there straightening things out long before this point, but it seems like his teammates are conveniently not seeing them. 

Ramos: And as we start with the third period it looks like it might be more of the- oof! And Hollander takes a hard hit from St. Louis right winger Jake Devreau. That one looks like it hurt. 

Cross: You’re telling me, Dan. Knocked him right off his feet, and it looks like that might have been the straw to break the camel’s back. Hollander is now up from the ice and seems to have a few words for Devreau. Do we know if anyone is mic’d up tonight? What I wouldn’t give to know what’s being said down on the ice right now. 

Ramos: Whatever it is, it sure looks like a heated exchange and- oh! Hollander’s gloves are off! 

Cross: That is not something you see everyday, folks. As far as I know, we have never seen Hollander fight in his entire career in the NHL. 

Ramos: And he’s going to be the one to throw the first punch, and he is not backing down! I don’t know what’s happening down there but Hollander looks M A D mad! 

Scott Hunter’s blueberry smoothie @AdmiralsAnimal02: so like is Shane Hollander getting beat to shit at every game now or what? 

Ashley @ashloveshockey: it is not a good look that Shane’s team suddenly can’t defend him and the other teams suddenly need to check the fuck out of him at every opportunity… smells like homophobia to me :/

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: One game is a fluke but its been THREE GAMES of Shane getting beat to hell. This is literally fucking DISGRACEFUL and EMBARRASING for the @NHL. Are you really going to let him keep getting beat up like this????

John Peters @JPeters84: It’s hockey, if the little fairy can’t handle it he can get the fuck off the ice and let the real men play 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: Those are some big words for someone who has no Stanley Cups and a receding hairline. 

Alysa @GoldenSkater26: Holy shit Shane looks PISSED right now at whatever St. Louis’ right winger just said 

Alysa @GoldenSkater26: oh my god now they’re arguing what the fuck what the fuck 

Alysa @GoldenSkater26: OH SHIT THEYRE FIGHTING ARE WE REALLY SEEING SHANE HOLLANDER FIGHT RIGHT NOW 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: DID ANYONE JUST HEAR THAT OR WAS IT JUST ME 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: DID SHANE JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID BECAUSE IF HE DID DEVREAU DESERVES EVERY HIT HE GETS 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: SHANE’S FIGHT FOR ANYONE CURIOUS *video attachment* 

[The video is blurry and taken rink side, presumably a fan at the game. It shows the moment Shane drops his gloves and lunges for Jake Devreau, grabbing him by his jersey and yelling in his face.

Shane: Say that again! Say it again to my face you motherfucker! 

Devreau: What are you gonna do, Hollander? Huh? What are you gonna do about it? 

Shane throws the first punch, his face seething with anger. The crowd roars around them as the two grapple. Devreau fights back, but Shane obviously has the upper hand. Referees stand by, ready to break up the fight. As soon as they fall and hit the ice the refs swoop in to pull them apart, but Shane doesn’t stop yelling or throwing punches. Most of what is said is drowned out by the crowd. When the two are finally pulled apart, Shane is being held back by two refs. Of the two players, Devreau is much worse off. A visible gap can be seen where one of his front teeth used to be. 

Shane: What now, Devreau? How’s it feel getting your ass beat by a “cocksucking faggot” huh? Try that shit again, you pussy! Try talking to anyone like that again and see what happens! 

Margo ✌️@HockeyTimeee: Look I’d rather eat glass say something nice about the Metros, but things are not okay on that team right now and no one can convince me otherwise 

Hannah @EmptyNetAnxiety: Is there an HR department for hockey because Jesus Christ if that’s what he’s been putting up with I would fucking sue 

Becca @BeccaRaider81: Really need someone to stand the fuck up for Shane right now, I mean there’s got to be at least one person in the entirety of the NHL who has his back. 

Chapter End Notes

Shane is in his feral era 💅🏻

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Chapter Summary

Shane reaches a breaking point. Scott makes a statement, and changes are put into motion.

Chapter Notes

Tada! Where as last chapter was incredibly difficult for me to write, this one practically wrote itself. Chapter count has gone up, but things are starting to wrap themselves up. Enjoy!

Ilya was waiting for him when he got home. He must have sped all the way to Montreal from Ottawa to beat him there, but it had taken him longer than usual to leave the arena after the game. Coach had reamed him for the fight, mostly because it had landed him in the penalty box, and the power play that followed allowed the St. Louis to score and take the win. He had argued back, saying that he wouldn’t have been benched for fighting in the first place if anyone on the team bothered to defend him from the barrage of homophobia he had been swamped with. Shane had stormed out of his office again, just about ready to throw hands for the second time that night. After that, he had endured the stares and glares from his own teammates in the locker room, and it had taken everything in him to not give them a piece of his mind, too. 

He was just tired. So, so tired. 

He knows that Ilya can see it too.

”Come here.” He whispers as Shane drops his bag by the front door, knuckles and split lip throbbing. He practically falls into Ilya’s arms, feeling like he’s finally home after over a week- probably the worst week of his life- without seeing him. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” He admits, whispering the words he’s thought plenty of times but hasn’t been brave enough to verbalize. 

“Me either.” Ilya responds, carding his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, nuzzling into his shoulder. “It kills me, watching you get treated that way. I am mad. Your parents are mad. My team is mad. We do not like seeing you be treated so badly, but we don’t know how to make it stop.” 

Shane doesn’t know if there is a way to make it stop. There’s not one person he can point his finger at, it’s the system, the culture, as a whole that needs to be changed, and he’s not naive enough to believe it can be done overnight, or even in a single season, if at all. 

He knows that getting checked and chirped is part of the game- he’s been trash talking since he was in peewee hockey, but what he’s been put through since he was outed is so far past what’s acceptable, it’s almost horrific. The fact that his team is allowing it just rubs salt in the wound. He’s starting to dread games and practices, knowing that he’s going to get the shit beaten out of him at one and the cold shoulder at another. He’s done bag skates every single practice, and he knows it’s for the way he talked to Coach, even if the guy will never admit it. 

“I don’t know what to do, Ilya.” He says with a sigh, pulling back from the embrace to look at him. Ilya frowns, cupping Shane’s cheek in his palm. 

”I want to come out, to tell everyone about us. So you do not have to do this alone.” He says softly, and Shane understands where he’s coming from, but he still shakes his head. 

“No, you’d just be putting a target on your own back. I want for us to come out because we want to, not because the league is full of bigots.” He argues, and Ilya’s frown deepens. 

“Shane, my team would not let what has happened to you happen to me. The same way Scott has not dealt with it either. Your team has not protected you, so the hateful ones think it is okay to say terrible things. It will only get worse, and you are going to get hurt worse than you already are if we do not do something. Let me protect you, moy luybov.” 

His gut sinks, because he knows it’s true. The Centaurs rallied around Troy Barrett when he came out, and Ilya has no worries about coming out to them when the time comes, either. In all of his talks with Scott, he’s never mentioned the sort of treatment Shane has received. His team was shocked but receptive, not hostile. Unlike Shane’s own. 

For the first time, Shane admits to himself something that he never thought he would: he needs to leave the Metros. The sooner the better. 

The Dream Team (Farah, Mom, and Lily❤️) 

Shane: Farah, waive my no trade clause. I want out of Montreal. Also I want to file a formal complaint against the league.

Farah: I’ve had the email drafted since the first game. Want to read it before I send it?

Mom: I helped write it. I also took pictures of your house yesterday when you were at practice. I have a real estate agent or a rental agency lined up. You can sell or rent whenever you’re ready. 

Lily❤️: I have always admired your efficiency, Yuna. 

Mom: Thank you honey ❤️

Shane: Jesus, mom. 

Shane: But I trust whatever it is you’ve written, just send it, Farah. 

Farah: You got it. As for trades, any preferences where you go?

Shane: I hear San Francisco is nice this time of year. 

Lily ❤️: Shane 😒

Shane: I’m kidding, obviously. 

Shane: There’s only one place I want to be, Farah. Can you make it happen? 

Farah: I’ll do my best. I’ll keep you updated. 

Hayden, J.J., Shane

Shane: Hey I know it’s late, but I’ve got something I need to tell you two. Can you come over now?

Hayden: Yep. Got to finish one last bedtime story and I’ll head your way. Maybe 45 minutes? 

Shane: That’s fine. 

J.J.: Headed your way now 

J.J.: Hayden will you read me a bedtime story 🥹

Hayden: only if you wear footie pajamas 

J.J.: I can make that happen. 

Shane: Jesus 

Shane: Also Ilya’s at my house right now but he’s promised to behave. 

Shane: I also need you two to promise the same thing. 

Hayden: I’ll try my best

J.J.: I still can’t believe you decided to marry Rozanov. I mean, if you wanted a gay hockey player, Scott Hunter was RIGHT THERE 

Shane: He’s not my type 

J.J.: and what is your type? Asshole Russians with a god complex? 

Shane: unfortunately, yes. 

Shane: Drive safe. See you in a little bit. 

Scott Hunter: Hey. Good job beating the shit out of Devreau. He deserved it. A whole lot of people in the league need an ass kicking right now. 

Shane: Thanks. The penalty wasn’t fun, but it was cathartic. 

Scott Hunter: I bet. You mind if I say something about the bullshit? Someone’s got to, and I’m afraid it isn’t going to be the league. 

Shane: I don’t want you to get in any hot water with your team or Crowell. 

Scott Hunter: Don’t worry about me. I don’t give a shit right now, this is bigger than hockey at this point. You don’t deserve this, any of it. 

Shane: I’m not going to stop you. 

Shane: And I know I don’t, thanks for being willing to speak up. 

Scott Hunter: Of course. I want the league to be a better place for the guys that come after us, and right now? This isn’t it. 

Shane: It isn’t. Keep this between us but I filed a grievance yesterday. And if things go my way, I won’t be with Montreal too much longer. 

Scott Hunter: damn. I hate that for you man, but I wish you the best. Any idea where you’ll go?

Shane: I’ll give you one guess. 

Scott Hunter: god help us all. 

DEVELOPING: Scott Hunter speaks out against NHL, “This is not good natured taunting, this is hate.” 

By Tyler Eckert 

For those that keep an eye on sports- the hockey world is what you want to be watching right now. Waves have been made across the National Hockey League over the past week after the incidental outing of the Montreal Metros super star, captain Shane Hollander. Despite statements of support from the NHL and Metros organization, the attitude on the ice is anything but. Hollander has been on the receiving end of vicious checks, far more violent than what you typically see during a hockey game. In addition, the altercation between Hollander and St. Louis right winger Jake Devreau might hint at chirps that go beyond school yard insults players usually toss back and forth. Hollander has yet to make a statement citing any blatant homophobia on the ice, but he isn’t the only player with skin in the game. Earlier today, Captain of the New York Admirals, Scott Hunter (who is also the first NHL player to come out as gay) took to twitter with a scathing comment for not only his fellow players, but the league and fans alike. Read his statement below: 

Scott Hunter✅ @ScottHunterOfficial: *image attached*

[I am both saddened and disgusted by the display I have seen from my fellow players on the ice the last few days. I will be the first to acknowledge that hockey has always been a brutal sport that is not for the weak or faint of heart. Getting hurt is common, and every man I know has been chirping at their opponents since their peewee days. It is as much a part of the sport as pucks and skates. But the violence and vitriol directed at Shane Hollander is far beyond what is normal or acceptable. At the end of the day, playing hockey is our job, and the arena, our office. In no other place of business is such blatant bigotry ignored and excused. No one should go into work knowing that they are going to be discriminated against, have slurs used directly to them, and subjected to targeted attacks for their sexuality, all under the guise of “playing the game”. This is not good natured taunting, this is hate. Shame on anyone- be it player, fan, or team staff, that has failed not only Shane Hollander, but every queer member of the NHL, those of us who are out and those who are not, by not standing up to intolerance. I encourage everyone to think about the kind of culture we want in the league, and stand up for what is good and right. Thank you.]

The NHL has yet to respond to Hunter’s claim, and this story is developing. 

Becca @BeccaRaider81: THANK GOD SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING 

Becca @BeccaRaider81: SCOTT HUNTER YOURE OLD AS FUCK BUT YOU STILL GOT IT BABY #NHLisoverparty 

Troy Barrett ✅ @Troy_Barrett: quoted a tweet, “I am incredibly grateful to be on a team that has loved and supported me on my coming out journey, but I am not ignorant enough to believe that my experience is the same as everyone’s. There is no room for bigotry anywhere in this world, including on the ice. I hope we can all reflect on what steps need to be taken to make hockey a place where everyone is welcomed without fear of retribution and hate.” 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: THATS MY BOO TROY BARRETT, TELL ‘EM BABY #NHLisoverparty 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: FUCK THE NHL!!!! FUCK ROGER CROWELL!!! FUCK EVERYONE WHO IS LETTING THIS HAPPEN #NHLisover party 

The Dream Team (Farah, Mom, and Lily❤️) 

Farah: Check your email Shane. 

Lily❤️: Good news???

Farah: It’s a pay cut, and he isn’t going to be on the first line, but I negotiated as best as I could. It’s a good deal though, best case scenario. 

Lily❤️: good thing he has a rich (almost) husband 🤑

Shane: 🙄

Mom: I’ve got the moving company lined up. We’ll need to figure out what stays and what goes. You should probably clean out your little hidey holes around the house before they do. 

Shane: Jesus, mom. 

Mom: I’m not the one who keeps lube hidden around the house 

Mom: Ours is in the bedside table, like normal people

Shane: MOM 

Shane: JESUS 

Shane: STOP

Lily❤️: 😹😹😹

Farah: Let’s get back on track, people. 

Shane: When do I go? 

Farah: Effective immediately. First practice is tomorrow at 10 am. 

Shane: Sounds good. I’ll be ready. 

Chapter End Notes

I wonder where he’s going 🤪 see you next time!

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Chapter Summary

Announcements and amends are made.

Chapter Notes

Things are wrapping up! I upped the chapter count, but really the next chapter is the last and chapter 10 is more of a silly little bonus chapter, but the main story will be wrapped up next time! See you then!

Daily Hockey News @HockeyWatch: BREAKING: Shane Hollander traded to Ottawa Centaurs. Link in bio for the full story. 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: oh my god????? We got Hollander????

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: This was not on my 2019 bingo card 

Ashley @ashloveshockey: so do we think Shane asked to leave Montreal or what??? 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: as valuable as he is, there’s no way he doesn’t have a no trade clause in his contract, which means he asked to be let go. 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: which means the Metros fucked up BAD 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: FUCK YOU @MontrealMetrosOfficial I HOPE YOU NEVER WIN A STANLEY CUP AGAIN (sorry to the intern who has to read this, I mean the Metros as an organization for not defending their star player, not you specifically, unless you were complicit in his treatment, then fuck you too) 

Ottawa Centaurs ✅@CentaursOfficial: *photo attachment* Welcome home, Hollander! 

[The photo shows a cubby in the Centaur’s locker room, S. Hollander on a plaque at the top.] 

Hayden, J.J., Shane 

J.J.: fuck, this sucks dude. 

Hayden: Jackie said she’s mad at you for leaving us 

Hayden: but she’s madder at the team for driving you away 

Shane: trust me, this is not how I thought the season would go. 

Shane: but I think it’s going to be a good thing in the end 

J.J.: I hope I never have to go against you and Rozanov together on the ice. People should be afraid. 

Shane: yes, they should be. 

Shane: love you guys. 

From: FJalali@holderreps.com

To: ChuckPlemmons82@gmail.com

Subject: Personal Invitation from Shane Hollander 

Chuck,

I hope your family is doing well, we continue to keep you and Stella in our thoughts. I received your last email, and am very happy to hear that Stella has been released and is making progress in her outpatient program. If she is fit and cleared to travel, Shane would like to fly your family out to Ottawa to attend his first game with the Centaurs, with a private meet and greet before the game. He wants me to assure you that he will handle the cost of everything, and would be honored by your presence. His first game is slated for next Saturday, please give your response as soon as possible and what airport you will be traveling out of and I will handle all travel arrangements. 

Best, 

Farah Jalali 

Walking into the locker room for his first practice with the Centaurs, Shane is a bit of a wreck. He’s met a handful of his new teammates already through the charity and playing against them, but for the vast majority, he only knows of them conceptually. Through stories Ilya has told him over the last season and a half that he’s been with the team. 

Still, he knows that this is going to be better than where he was. It has to be, because he can’t imagine anything worse than the end of his tenure with the Metros.  

Ilya stops him right before they get to the locker room, gently taking his hand in his. “I want to tell them about us. If we are going to play together, it is going to be as a couple, no secrets. Not with the team, at least.” 

His heart melts a little, softening in his chest. The ask is so earnest, so hopeful, and Shane can’t imagine denying him. 

“Okay.” He says softly, squeezing Ilya’s fingers softly before pulling his hand away, letting Ilya guide him into the locker room. It’s already bustling with activity, with guys laughing and joking at their cubbies, loud music blaring from a speaker in the corner. 

“Roz!” Someone calls when they notice the two of them entering, and Shane’s so nervous he wants to turn right back around and go home. Home, which is now Ilya’s- no, their- house. Because for the first time in their two years of dating and decade of seeing each other, they now actually live in the same town. They finally live together. It’s one of the few good things to come out of the whole outing situation. 

“And Hollander!” Someone else exclaims, and suddenly, every eye is on him. It looks like the whole team is already there, and Shane idly wonders if Ilya told them to be there early to greet him. 

Suddenly there’s a barrage of welcomes and cheers throughout the locker room, and it all seems genuine. There’s no sideways looks, nobody is standoffish or cold, instead he gets more pats on the backs than he could have anticipated, and he makes a note to study the roster and pictures when he gets home to start learning everyone’s names, since they all seem to already know him. 

“Alright, alright! Listen up, motherfuckers!” Ilya shouts over them, settling the team down. When they quiet down, Ilya flashes him a small smile. ”As you’ve heard, we have a new teammate today, he is new to hockey and very shy, so make sure-“ 

“Oh, fuck off.” Shane scoffs, elbowing Ilya in the ribs, which makes everyone laugh. 

“Okay, fine, I will be nice. Team, this is Shane Hollander. Shane Hollander, this is Team. He is with us now because his old team is a bag of dicks, and we will make sure they never win another Stanley Cup so long as I am playing in this league.” Ilya declares, and the room erupts into cheers. Shane can’t help but smile. It’s almost surreal, how welcome and accepted he feels after only a few minutes. 

“Thanks for the warm welcome. You all don’t know how much it means to me.” Shane says, and Zane Boodram, the alternate captain, snorts. 

“Oh, we have an idea. I can’t wait to play against Montreal and give them a taste of their own medicine. It’s fucked, what they did to you.” He says hotly, and Shane has to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from getting emotional. 

Ilya claps his hands together once, getting everyone’s attention again. “We are having team dinner at our house tonight so you can get to know him better. Wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, children, and dogs are welcome. Especially the dogs.” 

Everyone nods at that, happy about the invitation, but it’s the team’s goalie, Wyatt Hayes, that picks up on the specific wording first. 

“Are you two living together right now while he finds a place?” He asks, and Shane feels his cheeks heat as Ilya shakes his head. 

“No,” He says, an impish smirk on his face as he loops his arm around Shane’s waist, pulling him in close. “We are living together because he is the love of my life.” 

And then, without any fanfare, Ilya tips Shane’s chin up and kisses him in front of their whole team. 

All things considered, it’s one of the least dramatic ways Ilya could have announced their relationship, and for that Shane is grateful. 

He’s smiling when Ilya pulls away, and Shane gives his waist a tiny squeeze before they turn to the whole team, who’s looking at them with a mix of shock, amazement, and horror. 

“Oh shit, really?” One of the rookies says, and Ilya snorts. 

“Yes, really, we have been together for years. We are getting married after playoffs. You are all invited.” 

That’s what sends the room into chaos. There’s shouting and questions hollered in their direction, and Shane’s head spins with the onslaught of noise. 

“Wait!” Someone, who Shane’s almost positive is Evan Dykstra, holds up a hand. “That was your dick in the leak Roz?” 

Ilya snorts, and Shane blushes. “Da, was my dick. You are all welcome.”

”Jesus Christ.” Someone else groans. 

“What! You see my dick all the time in the showers, is nothing new!” Ilya argues, and Shane slaps a hand over his mouth. 

“Can we please stop talking about your dick and go practice?” He asks, and Ilya smiles against his palm. 

The rest of the team nods in agreement, giving Shane more pats on the shoulder and back as they all filter out of the locker room, heading towards the rink. When they’re the last ones left in the room, Ilya pulls Shane into another tight embrace, kissing the side of his head. 

“Is it really that easy?” Shane asks softly, and Ilya kisses him once more. The team seemed surprised, but otherwise didn’t bat an eye at their news. There should have been an uproar, a protest, a sideways look at the bare minimum based on his prior experience. Instead, there was nothing more than disgust at seeing Ilya’s dick hard. 

Ilya smiles against his mouth. “It’s that easy.” 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: SURPRISE, BITCH.  BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: BUT YALL FUCKERS BETTER BE NICE TO ME BECAUSE MY DAD HAS AN ACCOUNT NOW AND THE PASSWORD TO MY ACC 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: oomfie I missed you! Welcome back 🥰

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: YAY!!!! glad to have you back, let me know if someone starts shit, I’m ready to fight 😤

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: Noooo don’t be mean 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: honestly I could be meaner 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: i missed y’all so much 😭

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: OH ALSO FUCK THE HATERS IM ABOUT TO MEET SHANE HOLLANDER 

*this post has been deleted

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: SORRY DAD I MEAN SCREW THE HATERS IM ABOUT TO MEET SHANE HOLLANDER 

Walking into a rarely used conference room within the arena, Ilya isn’t quite sure what to expect. He’s joining Shane to meet with Stella Plemmons and her family under the guise of being the co-founder of the Irina Foundation, but really everyone that knows about them knows that meeting the girl that had turned their lives upside down is just as important to Ilya as it is Shane. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Shane whispers to him right before they enter, already dressed for the game- Shane’s first since joining the Centaurs. 

The last week since Shane had been traded had felt like a dream. They had woken up together every morning, cuddled in bed with Anya, with no timeline or two hour drive looming over their heads. They went on a run together, ate breakfast, then would drive together to practice, where they didn’t have to hide their relationship in front of anyone. Then they would go home, make dinner side by side and crash on the couch for a few hours before going to bed. It was simple and regimented, but it was everything Ilya had ever wanted. 

And as he walks into the conference room and sees a lanky teenage girl dressed in a brand new Centaurs jersey with Shane’s number on it, he has no one else but her to thank. Her eyes go wide behind thick rimmed glasses when she sees the two of them, looking like she can’t believe that they’re actually standing in front of her. 

Then, without anyone saying anything, she bursts into tears. 

“Oh, shit.” Shane whispers, freezing up for a moment, looking at him with a panicked look. Ilya bites down on his cheek and gently nudges Shane forward, urging him to hug the poor crying girl. 

“Hey, why are you crying? It’s okay.” Shane says softly, using the same tone he takes with the Pike twins when they get upset while Ilya and Shane are babysitting. Stella continues crying- heavy, heaving sobs, as Shane gently collects her in his arms, pulling her into a hug. 

“I-I’m s-so s-sorry!” She gasps through her tears, the words muffled by the fabric of Shane’s jersey. Ilya watches as Shane clutches the girl tighter, shaking his head. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, none of this is your fault. I’m not mad at you, my boyfriend isn’t mad at you. We don’t blame you for anything that’s happened. It’s okay.” He says, soft but insistent. 

Ilya wants to swoop in and comfort her too, to reassure her just as much as Shane is, but he knows that right now, that isn’t his place. Instead he surveys the other people in the room- a tall, burly man with a thick beard wearing another one of Shane’s jerseys, a thin woman with dark curly hair, and another teenager- one that’s a slightly older and more androgynous version of Stella. He steps towards them, letting Shane and Stella have their much needed moment together. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” He says to the man who he assumes is Stella’s father, extending his hand out to shake. “I’m Ilya.” 

The man- Chuck, if he remembers right, takes his hand and shakes it. Ilya can feel the man’s callouses against his palm. He sees the remnants of bruising and scratches on his knuckles, and idly wonders if he got them from breaking Stella’s door down. He doesn’t ask. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rozanov. We really can’t thank you enough for what the foundation has done for our family, it doesn’t feel like we deserve it.” 

“You do.” Ilya insists without hesitation. “When we heard about what happened, it was important to me to make sure everything was taken care of. No family should have to go through that.”

Mr. Plemmons’ eyes go glassy as he presses his lips together, obviously biting back emotion, and then he reaches for Ilya, pulling him into a tight hug. Ilya hugs the man back with just as much fervor, squeezing tightly for a moment before he lets go. 

“Thank you.” He chokes out, and Ilya gives him a nod, for fear that if he opens his mouth that he might get choked up, too. 

He meets the rest of Stella’s family after that, getting hugs and words of gratitude from her stepmom and sibling, and by the time he’s cycled through all of them, Stella has calmed down enough for them to all actually have a conversation. They very purposefully don’t bring up the leak, and avoid all mentions of Stella’s suicide attempt, because really, that’s not what the meet and greet is about. 

It’s about closure, for all of them. Closing this nightmarish chapter in their lives so they can all find some peace and move on. 

By the end of their time together, the mood in the room is drastically different from what it was when they entered. Lighter, somehow. Ilya can sense it in Shane as they tell Stella goodbye, promising that this won’t be the last time they see each other, and step out of the conference room to head back to the locker room. Ilya glances around, making sure they’re alone in the hallway before tugging Shane in and giving him a quick kiss. 

“Are you okay?” He asks gently, brushing his knuckles against Shane’s. Shane gives him a small smile, brushing his knuckles back against Ilya’s. It’s something so small, so insignificant, but it also isn’t lost on Ilya that he’s standing in an area with his fiancé about to play together for the first time on a team that knows about them and accepts them for exactly who they are. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined this being his life, and it makes the hell they went through to get there worth it. 

Shane’s smile widens. Ilya thinks that maybe Shane is making the same realization. “Never been better.” 

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Chapter Summary

Everyone gets a happy ending (except for the Montreal Metros)

Chapter Notes

And this is it! One more silly goofy bonus chapter/epilogue but this wraps the main storyline up. Thank you to everyone who has been so loving towards this fic. I always go into storytelling with the mindset that I am going to write something that I would want to read, and it always means a lot when others are just as excited as I am. I hope y’all like this ❤️

Hollander Fam ❤️🇨🇦🇷🇺

Mom: Good luck tonight baby, you’re going to do great!

Shane: Mom this isn’t even my first game with Ottawa 

Shane: It’s just another game.  

Mom: It’s really not, though. 

Dad: Good luck, boys. Proud of both of you no matter what. 

Ilya❤️: Thank you Papa David 😻

Ilya❤️: we are going to make them pay for how they treated Shane 

Rose🌹: Good luck! We finished the shoot early so I’m parked on the couch and ready to watch you and your (hot) fiance kick ass 😎😍

Shane: Thanks, it means a lot

Shane: Also please don’t inflate his ego anymore than it already is 

Rose🌹: I mean, the big dick energy is deserved 

Rose🌹: I would know, I’ve seen the picture 

Shane: please stop

Rose🌹: I love you!!!

Shane: love you too 

Live Now: Montreal vs Ottawa Game Commentary 

Ramos: Good evening and thanks for tuning into probably the most anticipated hockey match in a very long time- the Montreal Metros versus the Ottawa Centaurs. More notably, this will be the first game that Shane Hollander will be playing against his former team since his sudden departure last month. I am your host, Dan Ramos, joined by my co-host Luke Cross. What can we expect to see tonight, Luke? 

Cross: Thanks Dan, glad to be here, as always. I think tonight is going to be one to watch, for sure. The Centaurs have been on a winning streak since Hollander’s trade, while that can’t be said for Metros. They’ve lost all but one match since he left, and from where I’m sitting it looks like his absence has definitely left them in a lurch. As for Hollander, his transition to Ottawa has been nearly flawless, he’s playing harder and better than ever. 

Ramos: I couldn’t agree more, even on the second line, he’s still making himself known as a star player on the Centaurs. Fans speculated that this would cause some chafing with his longtime rival and the Centaur’s captain and first line center, Ilya Rozanov, but that couldn’t be further from reality. Can we talk about how seamlessly those two play together on a power play? It’s like they can read each other’s minds. 

Cross: You can say that again! Watching those two together is like watching a dance, the chemistry they have is just out of this world, but is that really that surprising? I mean you have two generational talents that can only outplay each other, get them on the same team and you’ve got a force to be reckoned with. 

Ramos: Absolutely, and I think Montreal should be nervous going into this game tonight. While he hasn’t made any direct statements about why he chose to leave his team of ten years so suddenly, I think it’s not too far of a stretch to say that he did not part on good terms. Hollander has been playing like he has something to prove but tonight, it’s personal. 

Cross: I think you’re right on the money, Dan, and I can’t wait to see it. We’re about twenty minutes to puck drop, and what I wouldn’t give to know what’s going on in the locker room right now. 

Ramos: Me too, Luke, me too. We’re going to take a quick break, but stay tuned, we’ll be back shortly for what is sure to be an incredible game. 

Deep within the Centaur’s arena, Shane feels like a live wire. He’s never been so nervous for a game in his life, and is about ready to crawl out of his skin with anticipation. 

“Alright!” Ilya calls over the din of the locker rooms, bringing everyone to attention. “Here is the deal, I hate Montreal. Their coach sucks, their players are dicks, and they do not care about their players. I want to embarrass them. I want them to go home bleeding.” 

Shane had tried to tell Ilya that this was just another game and that he didn’t need to make a big deal out of it. Ilya had told him, sweet and lovingly, that he was out of his fucking mind if he was going to pretend like the game against Montreal was just another day. He was furious with the team that had treated Shane so terribly, and he wanted to make them hurt. Shane had decided that it wasn’t worth trying to convince him otherwise, because he was mad, too. He had given ten years of his life to a team that didn’t protect him when he needed them the most. He would never say it out loud, but watching them crash without him gave him a sick sense of vindication, but also made him sad for Hayden and J.J.

“They are going to be playing mad, and they will be dirty. We will be dirtier.” Ilya announces, which makes his teammates cheer around him. They’re as blood thirsty as Shane and Ilya, and the way they’ve rallied around him without question since he joined the team is almost overwhelming. He feels undeserving of their loyalty, like he hasn’t earned it yet, but they show him every day that he does. He hasn’t taken a hard hit since he’s joined the team, they’ve protected him on the ice better than he could have ever asked for. 

“Do I need to step out for this pep talk?” Coach Wiebe asks from where he’s leaning against the wall by the doors, and Ilya turns to him with a mischievous look. 

“Yes, probably. You need… what is the word? When you can say you didn’t know something was going to happen?” Ilya asks, and Shane snorts besides him. 

“Plausible deniability?” He supplies, and Ilya nods. 

“Yes, that. So shoo. Get out.” He tells Coach, and it throws Shane off. Coach Wiebe is so much more laid back than Coach Theriault ever was, and it still freaks Shane out how Ilya speaks to him sometimes. Shane is pretty sure Theriault would have slit his throat if he ever told him to shoo, but Coach Wiebe just snorts and claps Shane on the shoulder. 

“One thing before I go- first and second line is switching tonight. Hollander starts, and I want him to score so quickly, Montreal doesn’t know what’s hit them. You think you guys can do that?” 

The team roars around him, stomping their feet and jostling Shane back and forth. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” Wiebe says, giving them all a short nod. “Ice in five.” 

He leaves them with that, and once he’s cleared out of the room Ilya turns back to the team. “One hundred dollars to anyone that makes a Metro bleed. Five hundred for every tooth lost, and a thousand to anyone who ends up in the penalty box for beating the shit out of anyone that fucked Shane over. Shane, is anyone safe tonight?” 

Jesus, he’s putting fucking bounties out. 

He knows better than to try and convince him to take it back, so instead he clears his throat. “Pike and Boiziau. They’re friends, they were the only ones who had my back.” He states, and Ilya nods. 

“You heard him, nobody touches Boiziau or Pike, which will be easy since he is so slow and bad at hockey.” 

“Ilya.” Shane chastises, but Ilya just smooths his hand down Shane’s back. 

“I am mostly kidding,” He says, not sounding sincere at all. “So, you all know what to do, and Montreal goes home crying and bleeding and scared to show their faces in our town ever again!” 

The team cheers again, congregating into the center of the room, chest bumping and fist bumping before slowly filing out. Ilya catches Shane around the waist, capturing his lips in a hard kiss, which makes the team wolf whistle around them. 

“I love you. We are going to make them sorry.” He promises, and Shane’s heart lifts. 

He’s ready. 

Cross: And we are back and just moments away from puck drop here at Montreal vs Ottawa, and the energy in this building right now is absolutely electric!

Ramos: Too right, Luke. I’ve never heard a crowd be as loud as they were tonight when the team hit the ice, especially for Hollander. It seems like everyone is out to show their support tonight. 

Cross: His team more than anything, it’s not often you see teams come out with rainbow stick tape outside of Pride Night, but it certainly is a nice touch tonight. 

Ramos: It really is, and it looks like Hollander is on the starting line tonight as get ready for the first face off, talk about making a statement. 

Cross: I don’t think that’s super surprising, to be honest. While he might still be green when it comes to coaching, Brandon Wiebe is second to none when it comes to bolstering his players, and it seems that putting Hollander in first is a very easy way to show that Ottawa has his back. 

Ramos: I totally agree with you, and it looks like they’ve got Olsson out for their first line center, which is a first. Definitely not what I would have done, but it seems like Montreal is still trying to iron out the kinks in their roster. And now, here comes the puck drop- and it’s an easy grab for Hollander! 

Cross: Like taking candy from a baby- and he’s absolutely flying down the ice, wow what a beautiful pass to Dillion, and he sends it down the boards back to Hollander and- GOAL FOR HOLLANDER! 

Ramos: The entire arena is on their feet, what a stunning play from Hollander! Ottawa is on the board within the first ten seconds of play, and I think that might just set the tone for how the rest of the match is going to unfold. 

Cross: If it is, then we certainly have an exciting game ahead of us. 

Cross: Welcome back everyone! We have just finished what should be our last break of the broadcast, with just two minutes left in what has turned out to be an incredibly brutal game for the Montreal Metros. 

Ramos: You can say that again. Ottawa has been downright savage tonight, I’m not sure there’s a single man on Montreal’s bench that’s going to walk away without at least one bruise or bump. They’ve had to send multiple guys back to medical for minor injuries- there’s a dentist in Montreal who’s about to make a killing fixing some of these guys’ smiles. 

Cross: I’ve never seen so many teeth get knocked out in a game before, or gloves drop so many times. 

Ramos: Too right, Luke. Ottawa has been itching for a fight all night and has not held back one bit. You’d think giving Montreal so many power plays would be an advantage to them, but with only minutes left in regulation they’ve yet to score a single goal, while Ottawa is up by three. 

Cross: I’ve got to say it, do you think they might be thinking that maybe they messed up somewhere along the way? 

Ramos: You know you can’t say anything for certain, but if I were them, I would definitely be thinking that tonight if I wasn’t already. 

Cross: And there goes the final buzzer, final score Ottawa three, Montreal zero, and the Centaurs have never looked happier to be walking away with the W. 

Ramos: I’d say so, they’ve got Hollander under a dog pile! 

Cross: They were definitely playing for him tonight and that shows. What’s more surprising to me is that it looks like more than half of Montreal’s bench is already heading off the ice without shaking hands. Not a great look for them if you ask me. 

Ramos: Come on, don’t they teach this in little league? A very poor display of sportsmanship for them, that’s for sure. 

Cross: I think with that, we’re going to wish everyone a good night. Thank you for watching with us, we’ll be back tomorrow night for Tampa versus Dallas. I’m Luke Cross-

Ramos: and I’m Dan Ramos. Ladies and gentlemen, goodnight! 

Centaurs Babyyyyy! 

Hayes: THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!! 

Hayes: Monks is ready for us 😎🤩

Barrett: We’ll be there 

Barrett: Great game tonight, boys. Proud of all of you

Bood: Cass and I will be there! 

Haas: I am coming as well. 

Rozanov: Shane and I will be there eventually, but I need to congratulate him properly first 😈

Hollander: Oh god…

Rozanov: You will be saying that soon, but you do not have to call me god

Rozanov: Ilya is fine 

Hayes: 😂

Bood: Shane you deserve to get your dick sucked after the way you played, enjoy it 😎

Shane: Ilya, look what you’ve done

Rozanov: aw, but you look so cute when you’re all red and embarrassed 

Hollander: ILYA PLEASE 

Rozanov: Also what you will be saying soon 

Bood: HAHAHAHA

Hayes: God I love y’all. See you soon 😉

Before he knows it, the season is over. They make it to the playoffs and get to the second round before being knocked out by the Admirals, which is fine by Shane. Montreal didn’t even make it in, which is somehow even more satisfying. They ease into summer without a care in the world, taking a few weeks at the cottage before heading back to Ottawa for hockey camps, and then with camp over, there’s only one thing left to do. 

The morning of his wedding, Shane wakes up to Ilya pressing featherlight kisses to the back of his neck, his hands wandering around his waist. 

“I get to marry you today.” He whispers, damn near giggling into his skin, and Shane’s heart leaps in his chest. 

“I can’t wait.” He says softly, turning over to face Ilya, taking in his sleep rumpled hair and pillow case creased smile. He kisses that smile, melting into it when Ilya clutches him tight, soaking in the quiet peacefulness of their morning. 

It doesn’t last long before Anya starts barking, popping up from her dog bed on the floor and taking off out of the bedroom and through the house. 

“Knock knock! Is everyone decent?” He hears his mom call, and Shane snorts, tucking his face into the curve of Ilya’s neck. 

“Well, there goes morning sex.” He grumbles, and Ilya laughs, smacking Shane once on the ass before rolling out of bed. 

“I love you.” He says, planting a kiss on Shane’s forehead. 

“Love you, too.” 

He watches him from the bed as he pulls on sweats and strides out of the room after Anya. 

He’s not too disappointed, not when they have their whole lives ahead of them. 

Rose 🌹: HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!!!! CANT WAIT TO CELEBRATE WITH YOU 🥰

Hayden: On our way, hopefully wont be late- had a meltdown getting the girls dressed. Can’t wait, man. 

Centaurs Babyyyyy! 

Bood: anyone there yet? 

Hayes: Yeah just got here

Hayes: their cottage is fucking insane 

Young: Do you think they would let me borrow it to impress girls 

Bood: absolutely not 

Young: a boy can dream 

Haas: Ten minutes out 

Bood: Can’t believe Dad and Daddy are getting married today 🥹

Haas: who is who

Dillon: Come on Haasy what kind of question is that 

Young: Ilya is daddy 

Hayes: big facts 

Ilya: Shane has never called me daddy but I bet I could convince him 

Shane: ILYA 

Ilya: don’t you mean daddy? 

@ShaneHollanderHockey and @IlyaRozanov81

[A photo set, the first photo shows Shane and Ilya standing under an arch, the lake glittering behind them. They are dressed in suits and are holding each others’s hands while facing each other, bright smiles on their faces. The second is a close up of their intertwined hands, gold bands on their fourth fingers. The third is the two of them under the same arch as the first, sharing their first kiss as husbands.] 

ShaneHollanderHockey: Yesterday, surrounded by our closest family and friends, I married the love of my life. Ilya Rozanov, you are everything I never knew I needed. You are my rock, my safe place, and my best friend. The years we have spent together have been the best of my life, and I can’t wait for the decades to come. я тебя люблю. 

IlyaRozanov81: I love you ❤️ 

IlyaRozanov81: also because everyone will wonder, yes it was me in the photo ❤️

ShaneHollanderHockey: ILYA 

IlyaRozanov81: 😘

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: WHAT

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHANES SECRET BOYFRIEND IS ILYA ROZANOV AND IT WAS ACTUALLY HIS SECRET FIANCÉ BECAUSE NOW THEYRE HUSBANDS???? 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: WAIT WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: CONGRATULATIONS TO MY CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS SHANE HOLLANDER AND ILYA ROZANOVA 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: SORRY YOUR NUDES GOT LEAKED ILYA 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: BUT CONGRATULATIONS TO SHANE FOR GETTING ALL THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: *photo attachment* 

[Stella, in her Ottawa Centaurs jersey, standing between Shane and Ilya]

I GUESS THIS MAKES A WHOLE LOT MORE SENSE NOW???? 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: THANKS FOR BEING SO NICE TO ME EVEN AFTER I LEAKED YOUR NUDES 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: CONGRATULATIONS???? 

Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Chapter Summary

A new video leaks. It’s somehow not as bad and worse at the same time.

Chapter Notes

This is it! A touch of smut and fluff to round things out. Thank you so so so much to everyone who took the time to read this fic, I’m glad you all have loved it as much as I loved writing it.

TMZ @TMZ: EXCLUSIVE! Heated Rivalry turned Heated Honeymoon- NHL stars Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov caught getting hot and heavy on their honeymoon in Spain. Link in bio for the exclusive video. 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: just came online and the first thing I see is a video of Ilya Rozanov grinding on his husband and grabbing his dick IN PUBLIC 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: i just know they’re FREAKY FREAKY 

Ashley @ashloveshockey: I just know they fucked nasty after leaving that bar 

Hannah @EmptyNetAnxiety: The streets are saying they fucked nasty iN THE BAR 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: IT WASNT ME THIS TIME GUYS I SWEAR IT WASNT ME

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: MY DAD CAN GIVE ME AN ALIBI NEITHER OF US WAS IN A GAY BAR IN SPAIN LAST NIGHT 

Stella’s Dad @ChuckParsons1: You shouldn’t have watched that video. It is not appropriate. 

Stella’s Dad @ChuckParsons1: But I can confirm we did not have anything to do with this video. 

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: I LOVE YOU STELLAS DAD!!!! 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: ITS GOING TO BE AWKWARD AS FUCK WHEN WE HAVE DINNER WITH THEM IN A FEW WEEKS BUT IM GLAD THEYRE HAVING A GOOD HONEYMOON 

Stella @HockeyGirlHollander: DAD’S MAKING ME LOG OFF NOW BYEEEEEE

⛸️Mel ⛸️@ilyaaaaaasgirl: #FREESTELLA 

Bood’s Left Skate @CentaursBaddie: #FREESTELLA 

Shane has never been so desperate for Ilya. Not in the ten plus years they’ve been together has he been filled with so much raw need. 

Maybe it’s because it’s their honeymoon. Maybe it’s because they’re out and proud and happier than they ever thought they’d be. Maybe it’s the vodka shots Ilya convinced him to take (but the liquor had been so smooth pouring into his mouth from Ilya’s, he couldn’t resist.) Maybe it’s the pounding bass in their veins and the sweat covering their skin. He isn’t sure, but he doesn’t care. Not when Ilya has him pressed against the stall door in the bathroom of the gay club they’re in, his hand wrapped around his cock as he nips and teases the skin of his neck. 

“Ilya please.” His words slur, drunk on liquor and lust as Ilya grinds against his ass. “I need you t’ fuck me, now.” 

His husband chuckles against his neck, twisting his hand over the crown of his cock in a way that makes him see stars. “So impatient, moy lyubov.” 

“Ilya!” He gasps when he feels his fingers slip between his cheeks, teasing his rim with light circles. He pauses then, practicality taking over. “Wait, fuck, we don’t have lube.” He whines, just drunk enough to consider using spit even though he’s well aware that it isn’t good enough. Not for the way he wants Ilya to rearrange his guts. 

Ilya laughs softly, nipping at the flesh of his earlobe. “Shane, we are in a gay bar.” He says, squeezing the base of Shane’s dick so deliciously tight that his knees buckle. He feels his other hand move from his ass, but he doesn’t have time to think about what he might be doing before Ilya raises his voice over the din of the restroom. 

“I will give a hundred dollars to anyone who can give me lube right now!” He calls, and if he was sober, Shane might just be embarrassed by the round of cheers that erupt from the other side of the stall, and then multiple hands are holding packets of lube over the top of the door. Ilya shoves hundred dollar bills into a couple of hands, snatching the packets and ripping one open with his teeth, and Shane can hardly take another breath before-

“Fuck!” He groans, his forehead falling against the door with a soft thump as Ilya slides inside of him in one long, smooth thrust. He’s grateful that he’s still loose from the sex they had before they left for the club 

Ilya fucks him quick and raw and dirty, one hand pumping his cock while the other wraps around his throat, tugging his head backwards for a messy kiss while squeezing just tight enough to make his head spin. The stall door is rattling under his chest with every thrust, and he knows that everyone in the bathroom is well aware that he’s getting fucked. 

Too bad he doesn’t care. 

It’s over far too soon, with Ilya groaning his name into his neck before coming inside of him with a strained groan, and as soon as he’s finished he pulls out, drops to his knees, and spins Shane around so he can swallow him down. It only takes two bobs of Ilya’s mouth on his cock before he’s coming down Ilya’s throat, his fingers twisted in golden curls. 

When they finally pull themselves together enough to leave the stall, their met with thunderous applause that makes Shane’s whole face burn. Ilya just smiles next to him, their hands intertwined and in desperate need of washing. 

“It’s our honeymoon!” He announces with a big, drunken grin, showing off his ring, proudly displayed on his left hand. 

That makes the tiny bathroom erupt once more. 

The rest of the night, they’re given more free shots than Shane got after winning the Stanley Cup, but it isn’t Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, NHL stars, that are receiving them. Instead, the well wishes and alcohol are to a newlywed couple that everyone knows just fucked in the bathroom because they were too in love and obsessed to go home. In a random bar in Spain, they can just be themselves. Just two men who fell in love. 

It’s the happiest Shane has ever been. 

The hangover the next day borders on lethal. His mouth feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and tastes like a bar mat. Shane groans as he burrows underneath the plush hotel pillow, only to be disturbed by Ilya snuggling up to him and pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck. 

“I have medicine when you are ready.” He whispers, pressing his hand close to Shane’s mouth so he can gently drop the tablets inside, and Shane keeps his mouth open, waiting for the plastic straw of his water bottle that he knows is coming. When it does he takes a sip, relishing the cool water on his tongue before swallowing the pills down. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles miserably, his head pounding in time with his heart. 

“Of course, moy lyubov.” Ilya says softly, pressing another kiss to his cheek. The asshole probably isn’t hungover at all, something Ilya always attributes to his Russian genes. Shane considers divorce at that moment. 

“There is a video from last night, someone took it at the bar and sold it to a gossip magazine.” He tells him after a moment, and Shane sighs. 

“Is it bad?” 

Ilya hums. “I am grabbing your dick.” 

So yeah, it’s not the best. But it also isn’t a scandal. They’re married and on their honeymoon and got handsy. It’s a little embarrassing, sure, and he doesn’t even want to think about his parents seeing it, but it’s nothing worth fretting over. 

He’s sure that later, when the hangover has subsided enough for him to put his head above the covers and look at his phone, that there will be texts and emails and a million things said online that won’t be worth the time to read. All of that can wait though, because for now he’s warm and tucked into his love’s solid arms, and that is all he needs.