Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Brad Hammersmith/Sebbin

Characters:

Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Sebbin (Heated Rivalry), Brad Hammersmith, Connors (Heated Rivalry), Ryan Carmichael, Victor St. Simon, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

No Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders (Game Changers), Supportive Boston Bears | Boston Raiders (Game Changers), Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, The Boston Bears Share One Brain Cell, No Beta We Live like Ilya, Humor, Dumb Hockey Boys, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Post-Canon, Ilya Rozanov is a Little Shit, Texting Fic, Group Chats, POV Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau

Language:

English

Series:

Part 12 of Just Game Changer things that my brain needs to write, Part 7 of Hammer/Sebbin is my close personal headcanon

Collections:

*Heated rivalry melts my heart*

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-24 Words: 1,616 Chapters: 1/1

The Scientific Method of Queer Discovery

Summary

Hypothesis: Marlow could be queer.
Method: Exposure to research materials provided by Seb.
Peer Review: Conducted by the group chat.
Results: See findings inside.
Spoiler: He's not.

Notes

I'm back with a Boston Boys texting fic! Fyi this is pure crack and moves the plot nowhere, except to tell you nothing, but it should be fun? Enjoy!

P.S. Recommended reading is almost all of Hammer/Sebbin is my close personal headcanon, there are lots of recurring themes that can be read either before or after this fic :)

Marlow

so i've been watching lots of gay porn right?

Seb

you liked the stuff i sent you?

Marlow

i can't exactly say i liked it

Carmy

did you at least try skipping to the good parts

Marlow

what are the good parts

Seb

the parts where they're gay man

Hammer

why are you sending marly gay porn?

Viggy

you jealous hammy?

Hammer

fuck off

i meant atleast send the man threesomes or something to start

Roz

marly has been in threesomes already

sebby has right idea

Connors

seb did the same to me tho

man has some weird taste lol

Hammer

i'll send you some other shit

Carmy

send them to me too

also @Marlow don't worry if you didn't like seb's porn man

you might still like hammer's

he has better taste

Seb

no he doesn't

guess whose videos we try

Roz

you try both?

Hammer

yep

Seb

yep

but mine are still better

right hammy?

Hammer

sure

Connors

cough whipped cough

Hammer

🖕

Hollzy

is no one going to ask why marlow is watching gay porn?

Seb

no porn shaming here

Viggy

do you not watch porn hollzy

Connors

i thought gay dudes liked gay porn

Roz

shane does not need porn when i am the one fucking him

Marlow

i would actually believe hollzy is a virgin if he wasn't married to you

Hollzy

all of you can fuck right off

i'm not a virgin and i watch porn

Carmy

does that mean you still get hard if you watch women 🤔

Hollzy

i'm not answering that

Hammer

we know you're not a virgin hollzy

Seb

marly is just trying to figure out if he's bi or pan or whatever else

Carmy

btw turns out i'm pan

no thanks to seb

gwen is fucking awesome

Roz

YAYYY

Viggy

happy for you carms

getting back in the game after what's her name left you in ibiza

Carmy

you didn't have to bring that up

but thanks

Marlow

carmy my man!

same gwen who's dalton's sister?

where is my thank you for giving her your number

Carmy

thank you marly

Connors

damn dude

there's only one con

Carmy

no what she's perfect

Seb

fuck you for shitting on my porn

but also carmyyyyyy welcome to the pan club

we cook dude

want to come to sunday brunch with me and hammy's ma?

Carmy

as long as i don't have to cook

Hammer

that's cool carmy

they cook enough for an army

just go hungry

Hollzy

happy for you carmichael

uh sebbin and hammer's mom do brunch?

Roz

hammer's mother is amazing cook

can we also come?

Seb

yesssss

we miss you rozy

Roz

booking flight now

Hollzy

ilya!

we're in the middle of the fucking playoffs rn

but thanks for the invite sebbin

Roz

oh yes we will come after we win cup

what is con @Connors

Connors

con is carmy would be related to dalton if he goes serious with the lady

and we're all related to carmy

so we'll end up related to fucking dalton

Hammer

hart said dalton's an okay dude

Seb

seemed ok when we met him too

tho i think he might have a receding hairline soon

Viggy

why would you think that

Roz

i am surprised you remember sebby

you were very drunk on tequila sunrise

also yuck to being related to dalton

is like being related to pike

Hollzy

you like hayden

don't pretend you don't

but i agree with sebbin about the receding hairline

Roz

yes is obvious

sad for bikini girl

but i like jackie and children not pike

tho maybe pike is better than dalton

Hollzy

i'm telling hayd!

Roz

eh

Marlow

anywayyyy i thought dalton was a little squeamish

was almost ready to run from roz until hollzy took roz back

Hollzy

ilya was asking if his sister is single

and ilya is famously married to me

Connors

we know lol

Hollzy

i meant ilya didn't even clarify he was asking for carmy

so i don't blame dalton for being icked

Roz

did not think about that

i will tell him i would never cheat on my husband

𓅢 𓅢 𓅢

𓅢 𓅢 𓅢

𓅢 𓅢 𓅢

Rozanov

i would never cheat on my husband

Dalton

hi to you too

and good for hollander

why are you telling me this

Rozanov

yes hi

shane thinks you think i asked if your sister is single for me

i did not

was for carmy

Dalton

good to know you have marital fidelity i guess

who's carmy?

Rozanov

what are these words

stupid language

Dalton

just meant that it's good you're faithful?

Rozanov

like dog?

Dalton

what no it's a compliment

Rozanov

ok bye

Dalton

wait who's carmy and why does he need to know if my sister is single

rozanov?

ROZANOV YOU FUCKER TELL ME

𓅢 𓅢 𓅢

𓅢 𓅢 𓅢

𓅢 𓅢 𓅢

Roz

i texted dalton

said he is happy for shane that i am like faithful dog

Hollzy

i love you too?

Viggy

i mean dude also brought his sister to all stars

so props?

might not be happy about you tho carmy

Roz

*attached screenshot of dalton asking who carmy is*

Carmy

suck it

you know you love me

he will too

eventually

Marlow

ohohoh

@Carmy can you ask gwen why dalton got traded

Carmy

i'm not asking her that

we've only been out twice

Connors

so ask on the third date

Roz

ask if it was because of dildo socks

should i ask him myself

Viggy

no let carmy find out first

or we'll never know if it's true

Hollzy

that's not why you shouldn't

but if it stops you

Marlow

@Carmy this is an opportunity to solve a real mystery

Carmy

i don't know

Marlow

PLEASEEEEEE

Roz

come on carmy

Carmy

fine

Hollzy

you shouldn't feel forced to ask if you don't want to @Carmy

Seb

no what are you doing @Hollzy

let the man find out

Roz

don't be party pooper hollander

Hollzy

don't be an asshole ilya

Seb

you two are so cute

but flirt off the group chat

Connors

lol what have you and hammer been doing in here for the last decade then

Hammer

do you not know what flirting is

we don't do it in here

Carmy

wtf have we all been seeing then

Viggy

we've seen them suck each other off in person instead

Seb

this ☝️

Roz

sebby and hammy you have to show hollander your chats

he needs examples of good sexting

Hollzy

i'm not going to read their private messages

Hammer

not sure how useful they'll be anyway

Seb

we don't sext

Marlow

why not

Seb

we live together and room on roadies

we're together all the time

Hammer

when would we have time to sext

Viggy

also why would hollzy need to sext

you live together now

Connors

aren't you two together right now

Roz

*attached selfie of ilya and shane on the couch*

he is reading chat on my phone

Carmy

what happened to hollzy's phone

Roz

he puts low brightness and can't read anything

Hollzy

high brightness is bad for your eyes

Connors

lol isn't it harmful even if you read on roz's phone

Carmy

😂

Hollzy

shut up i'm not reading on his phone

he has to make a brand post soon

i'm making sure he doesn't add his own comments to the pr approved one

Viggy

fair i have to do that with connors too

i talk more to his rep than he does

Connors

no you don't

Viggy

when was your last text with him

mine was yesterday after you fucked up that energy drink post

Carmy

what did he do

Viggy

copied the text twice

Marlow

😂

can we go back to my porn problem

Roz

what is problem

Connors

go jerk off man

problem solved

Marlow

i can't

that's the problem

hammy's stuff is not doing anything for me either :(

Hollzy

feels like you're trying to make yourself gay?

i don't think it works like that

Roz

don't worry Моя любовь

no one will ever be as super gay as you

Hollzy

you're an asshole

i'm a normal amount of gay

but marlow does not seem to be

Roz

are you being homophobic hollander

Hollzy

I'M NOT

Marlow

hollzy might be right

Hollzy

see?

Marlow

i thought i'd give it a try

i'm just regular straight i guess

Seb

sorry marly

i can send you some regular porn if you want

Marlow

no thanks

i've seen the regular porn you see dude

Hammer

why did you think his taste in gay stuff would be different

Connors

idk dude

i did the same thing

i knew and still asked seb

Carmy

me too

Marlow

do you all think the porn i see is weird too?

Roz

not weird

hollander liked the countdown one you sent marly

Hollzy

uh yeah it was fine

Roz

fine?

you came like fire bomb

Hollzy

so did you

Connors

not a competition

you both have weird taste

Carmy

marly's is less weird imo

Seb

fuck off see if i help any of you again

Viggy

no one's left to ask you seb

you've successfully made us all see it

Roz

don't worry i like your porn sebby

is good

Hammer

i like it too

Connors

we know lol

Seb

ok i only like hammy and rozy now

maybe also hollzy

let me send you some

Hollzy

um you don't need to

i'm sure your taste is fine

Seb

*link*

*link*

Viggy

too late

Seb

*link*

*link*

*link*

Hammer

i took his phone away but these are actually good hollzy

Roz

hollander likes them a lot

bye i need to fuck him now