Jane vs. The Boston WAGs

RYAN CARMICHAEL

CARMICHAEL

You got the number???

Marly???

MARLOW

SHHHHHHH

Yes, motherfucker

I almost got caught doing it

But yes

CARMICHAEL

Oh shut up

You and I both know this has been a long time coming

MARLOW

If he finds out

[Shares a Contact]

CARMICHAEL

I will miss you terribly

And tell emilyinmontreal how much you loved her

MARLOW

Fuck you man

UNKNOWN NUMBER

KAT

Hi!

Is this Jane?

I’m sorry if this seems forward, I’m Kat Carmichael!

Ryan Carmichael’s wife

I’m sort of an emissary from the Raider WAGs

JANE

I’m sorry, wtf???

How did you get his number???

KAT

I’ve learned not to ask questions when the boys do things

My guess is Marlow “borrowed” your number from Roz’s phone and passed it to Ryan

JANE

………..

😑

gdi, Ilya

Right after he gives me crap for leaving my phone unlocked

KAT

Tbh, I’m annoyed at Roz for keeping you from us

JANE

This has been a big misunderstanding

I’m not technically a WAG….

KAT

The way Marly tells it, you’ve been Roz’s longest relationship

And, tbh, I think it might do you some good to be around the other WAGs

JANE

I don’t know…

KAT

We mostly bitch about the boys and gossip about tv shows and the other teams

But we’re also there to support each other during roadies and when someone gets injured

Plus… you’d get some goss on your man

I’m sure he keeps some things close to himself

JANE

Maybe…

Alright. Sure

Why not

KAT

YES! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Okay… just a couple of things

😽♥️EMI ♥️😽

SHANE

Emi, I need a favour

EMI

No

SHANE

You don’t even know what I was going to ask???

EMI

Shane

Least favourite of the cousins

I am a very busy woman

Whatever your little hockey problem is, can wait

SHANE

😑

Fuck it, I’ll ask Lisa

EMI

Don’t you dare!

We both know Lisa will botch whatever it is

What do you want?

SHANE

Are you wearing a lot of make-up right now?

EMI

The fuck kind of question is that?????

SHANE

Answer the question, Park

EMI

🙄

No, Hollander, I am not wearing make-up right now

Why?

SHANE

Can you take a selfie and send it to me?

EMI

????????

WHY?????

SHANE

Because I need it

EMI

Um

No???

I’m not sending you a make-up-less selfie just because you need it???

For all I know, you’re going to give it to your weird hockey bros

SHANE

😑

It’s not going to my “weird hockey bros”

I just… I need a girl picture and everyone says you look like me but a girl

EMI

First of all

RUDE

You look like me but a boy

And not good enough

SHANE

😑😑😑😑😑😑

Let me call you. Can’t explain this over text

Call lasts 45:20 minutes

EMI

emiselfie.jpeg

YOU OWE ME HOLLANDER

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

Kat added Jane

KAT

Ladies! Meet Jane! 

LUCY

Jaaaaaannnneee!!!!!

Omg, wait, is this THE Jane???

MADDIE

MONTREAL JANE????

FÉLICITÉ

Bienvenue, salope ! 

Il était temps que tu aies mis Roz sous contrôle.

MADDIE

ENGLISH FELICITE! 

FÉLICITÉ

BITCH SHE IS MONTREAL JANE!!!!

You speak French, right Jane???

Pleaaaase be a French speaker

JANE

Yeah I speak French 😂

FÉLICITÉ

SUCK IT MADDIE!

Le français est la langue supérieure!

VANESSA

Hi Jane! 👋

Apologies for the circus

You’re like the first new girl in ages

JANE

It’s alright

VANESSA

Did Kat make you send a selfie?

JANE

Yeah 

I did tell her I won’t be able to come to stuff since I’m in Montreal

KAT

LOOK

It’s helpful if I know what you look like so we can find you easier at events

VANESSA

And we love you for it babe ♥️

JANE

So, who’s who?

KAT

As you know, I’m Carmichael’s wife

VANESSA

I’m Vanessa!

Dating Sebbins!

LUCY

Lucy

Newly Mrs Connors!

FÉLICITÉ

Je m'appelle Félicité

I’m married to Victor St-Simon

MADDIE

Oh look, Felicite’s brought out the ✨fancy e’s✨

Maddie!

Married to Brad Hammersmith!

FÉLICITÉ

🖕

JANE

Nice to meet you all

Obviously I’m Roz’s… 

I don’t know how to define it

LUCY

tbf, none of us knew Roz was capable of having more than one night stands

FÉLICITÉ

What about that Svetlana girl?

LUCY

FWB don’t really count though?

VANESSA

Maybe let’s not talk about Svetlana around Jane…

JANE

I know about Svetlana, it’s okay. 

Rozanov and I aren’t exclusive or anything

KAT

Girl…

LUCY

Babe

From what I’ve heard from Connor

Roz gets absolutely smitten when you text

Full on heart eyes

JANE

I keep forgetting his name is actually Connor Connors

LUCY

OKAY IN HIS DEFENCE

FÉLICITÉ

Here we go…

LUCY

Connor is his middle name!!!

His ACTUAL name is Carson Connor Connors Jnr!

JANE

OMG

That’s actually worse

For real???

LUCY

Yes 😭

Is dad is Carson Connors Snr

Y’know, the Nascar Driver

So he decided to go by his middle name so people wouldn’t associate him with his dad

JANE

Let’s pretend I know anything about Nascar

LUCY

I didn’t know either until I met him

So all good

MADDIE

But seriously, Jane

Roz is down bad for you

👏Lock 👏 Him 👏 Down 👏

FÉLICITÉ

Seriously, babe

JANE

…..

I have a lot to think about

KAT (WAG Queen 👑)

KAT

Hey Vanessa, can I show you something?

VANESSA

Sure, babe. What is it?

KAT

janeselfie.jpeg

Who is this?

VANESSA

It looks like emilyinmontreal…

But not a picture I’ve seen before

KAT

I thought so too…

That’s the selfie Jane sent me

VANESSA

👀

GIRL

Is Roz dating emilyinmontreal????

WAIT

KAT

What?!?!

VANESSA

It can’t be emilyinmontreal

She blocked Roz like… a year ago

KAT

How on earth do you know that????

VANESSA

I CAN SENSE YOUR JUDGEMENT FROM HERE SO MAYBE DIAL IT DOWN

But I was literally watching when it happened

So Emily was doing a livestream about… I can’t remember

KAT

Still going to judge you for watching emilyinmontreal live streams

VANESSA

KATHERINE CARMICHAEL I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

Anyway…

So she was streaming something

Might have been skin care or whatever

Somehow, for whatever reason, Roz was in her chat

KAT

No!

VANESSA

YES

Wait, it must have been about skin care

Because Shane Hollander and his freckles came up for some reason and Roz… 

I have no idea why, but he said something along the lines of freckles being the sexiest part of someone???

He actually fought with Emily about it

And she blocked him

KAT

WOW

Gdi, I can actually see why the Hollanov shippers are so rabid

VANESSA

Omg 😂

Babe, don’t invoke their name

Imagine if they knew that bit of deep lore

KAT

😂😂😂

So we agree Jane isn’t emilyinmontreal?

VANESSA

Oh for sure

Hey, isn't Shane Hollander her cousin or something???

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

LUCY

Ladies

I need your hockey boy expertise 

KAT

What’s up?

FÉLICITÉ

No, you cannot make him shave the play-off beard

It’s “bad luck”

JANE

It IS bad luck

Do you want Boston to lose???

…..

Actually, I take it back

Lucy, tell Connors to shave his beard

MADDIE

JANE!!!!!

FÉLICITÉ

BITCH, WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS?!?!

VANESSA

Oh fuck

MONTREAL Jane

MADDIE

Say it isn’t so Jane…

JANE

😇

I support Boston whenever they play

As long as it’s not against Montreal

FÉLICITÉ

Quelle trahison !

LUCY

As much as I would like to shame Jane for her CLEARLY incorrect opinions I have bigger problems

(Although I actually love the play-off beard)

How do you ladies keep your boys from leaving gross hockey gear all over the house???

KAT

Oh honey…

You’re fighting a losing battle

MADDIE

Brad is usually pretty good about it

Emphasis on usually

FÉLICITÉ

I ban Victor from the bedroom until he cleans it up

JANE

Have you tried using blow jobs as reward for every gross bit of gear that gets into the hamper?

Because it works a treat on Roz

FÉLICITÉ

…….

Jane you genius!

VANESSA

I thought you guys were super casual, Jane?

JANE

We are

But sometimes Roz stays at my place in Montreal and I refuse to have his stuff stinking up my apartment

LUCY

I am so trying that, thanks Jane!

JANE

Happy to help!

KAT

You’re on thin ice for the treason, but that is a great tip

THE DECEPTICONS

LISA

Sooooo, random question for Shane

SHANE

What’s up?

EMI

👀

LISA

Do you know anything about Wyatt Hayes? Any rumours about him?

SHANE

Uh….

No, not really

Just that he’s an okay goalie

He’s not friends with Dallas Kent or anything

So I assume he’s a decent guy

LISA

Yeah, that tracks

Thanks Shane!

SHANE

No problem 😊

EMI

Wait, Lisa

Why are you asking Shane about this guy???

LISA

No reason 😊

EMI

LISA

LISA THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER

LISA TORIYAMA ANSWER ME!!!!!

SHANE

Jesus, Emi

Chill

EMI

YOU CHILL HOLLANDER

LISA

Emi

Do you remember our bet from when we were in high school?

EMI

…..

Vaguely

Omfg

IT ONLY COUNTS IF YOU ACTUALLY DATE HIM

HOOK UPS DON’T COUNT

LISA

Boo

Cross out Emi

crossoutneedy.gif

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

KAT

Hey ladies! Guess who just passed her probation period!

MADDIE

YES!!!!

Congrats Jane!!!!

FÉLICITÉ

Félicitations, salope!!!!

JANE

What?

VANESSA

Sorry, Jane, we generally have a probation period for new girls just in case it’s not a long term thing

LUCY

It’s longer for some of the guys compared to others

MADDIE

Like Marlow

He cannot keep a girlfriend

Bless his heart

JANE

So what does being off probation mean?

KAT

It means we order you a customised Raider’s jersey with your “Mrs” Player’s Name on the back and his number

So in your case it would be “Mrs Rozanov” with 81 on the back

We wear them to home games

The boys love it

VANESSA

Before you say anything about not coming to games

We still want you to have one

MADDIE

One of these days we’re meeting you Janey

LUCY

You’re one of us, girl

FÉLICITÉ

Even if you still also support another shitty team

MADDIE

We know, deep down, you’re a Raiders girly

JANE

I…

I don’t know what to say

KAT

Just text me your size and we’ll send it off to get made

VANESSA

You have to send us a pic of you wearing it!

LUCY

Yeeeesssss

😽♥️EMI ♥️😽

SHANE

Emi I need another favour

EMI

Uuuuggghhhhh

Shane I just spent like three hours touring a microbrewery with Sean

This is the last time I agree to collab with Lisa’s weird fucking brother

SHANE

I’ll bring you that fancy iced matcha drink you like

EMI

And mochi bubble waffles?

SHANE

Of course

I’m not a monster

EMI

Ugh, fine

Is this another photo for those hockey ladies?

SHANE

Does it really matter if you get matcha out of it?

EMI

Not really, but I will give you shit about it

SHANE 

Ugh

Fine

KAT (WAG Queen 👑)

VANESSA

Kaaaatttt

Did you see the photo Jane posted in the chat?

KAT

👀👀👀

I mean that’s definitely still emilyinmontreal, right?

VANESSA

Oh for sure

The jersey looks so baggy on her

What size did she order?

KAT

Let’s put it this way…

Our theory is pretty much confirmed

HOTTIES 💋

MADDIE

So… Jane’s not who she says she is, right?

FÉLICITÉ

Oh, for sure

I know Emily Park when I see her

And I know she’s not dating Roz

MADDIE

How the fuck do you know emilyinmontreal????

FÉLICITÉ

Because she’s besties with my little sister 😛

And last week she did a smash or pass on players

She said pass on Roz because “only one of us can have BDE”

MADDIE

She does not have BDE 😂

FÉLICITÉ

Right???

Although I found out she’s related to Hollander of all people

MADDIE

For real???

FÉLICITÉ

Y E S

Bitch I’m as shocked as you

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

FÉLICITÉ

JANE!

Guess what bitch?!

JANE

Uh…

FÉLICITÉ

We’re coming to Montreal!

MADDIE

Kat arranged a fundraiser with Jackie Pike and we’re coming up!

LUCY

Sooooo will we finally get to meet woman who clitmatized our boy???

MADDIE

The Roz Tamer herself???

FÉLICITÉ

The She-Bear of Montreal???

VANESSA

OMG 😂

KAT

Ladies, please

Let’s not overwhelm Jane

Butmaybewillwegettomeetourfavemontrealgirly????

JANE

Unfortunately ladies

I will have to pass

MADDIE

WHAT????

BOOOOOOOO

FÉLICITÉ

Um????

Explain yourself salope

JANE

I would love to come along and meet you all!

Seriously, you’ve all been so welcoming

But

VANESSA

There’s always a but

JANE

BUT

Roz and I are kind of not public with our relationship?

For certain reasons, it would be really bad for our relationship to be public

Plus… I’m kind of working that night

Sorry

KAT

We understand Jane

FÉLICITÉ

We don’t like it

But we understand

MADDIE

You’re not married already or anything

Right?

JANE

That’s not the reason

But I promise I will tell you all

Some day

VANESSA

We’ll hold you to that

Otherwise we’ll set Lucy on you

FÉLICITÉ

She’s a hair puller

LUCY

😈

KAT (WAG Queen 👑)

KAT

Soooo….

Jane = Shane confirmed?

VANESSA

Absolutely

HOTTIES 💋

MADDIE

Bless his heart

He thinks he’s being subtle

FÉLICITÉ

Why are men so stupid?

MADDIE

No, babe

Why are hockey players stupid

FÉLICITÉ

Fair

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

MADDIE

Has anyone heard from Jane lately???

LUCY

Do you think she and Roz broke up?

VANESSA

She’s still in the chat… 

KAT

I tried contacting her and she messaged something about she and Roz being a break

FÉLICITÉ

Is that why Roz has been such a dur à cuire during practice???

Because Victor has been coming home complaining about practice

LUCY 

Same with Connors

MADDIE

Jane, babe, can you just let us know what’s going on?

KAT

Yeah, Jane, please let us know

I won’t kick you out if it’s more a break up than a break

We’ve grown fond of you

VANESSA

We’re just worried

😽♥️EMI ♥️😽

EMI

ROSE LANDRY?????

SHANE HOLLANDER!

I HAD TO FIND OUT YOU WERE DATING ROSE LANDRY OFF THE INTERNET????

WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED TO THE BOSTON GUY????

SHANE!

FUCKING ANSWER ME!

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

JANE

Ladies!

Help!

I fucked up super massively and I’m freaking out

VANESSA

JANE!

Babe, what’s wrong

MADDIE

Omfg!

FÉLICITÉ

Who do I have to murder?

LUCY

Whatever it is Jane, we can help

KAT

Whatever it is, we’re here for you

JANE

I was out with Rose and I ran into Rozanov at this club in Montreal

I didn’t know he was there and then I fucking saw him on the dance floor

He looked so fucking hot

So

Fucking

Hot

KAT

Woah, Jane, sweetie

MADDIE

What the fuck…

LUCY

Girl

JANE

He was dancing with this girl

And I couldn’t stand it

I wanted to go over there and pull her away from him

Because who the fuck does she think she is???

But I didn’t because I’m a fucking coward and I ruined everything

And then I ended up taking Rose home with me

Biggest fucking mistake

Because sex with her sucked

Even though I did everything the internet says to do!

But no

I fucked that up to!

Ilya has moved on and I will never find the kind of love I had with him because I’m fucking unable to figure out romantic relationships

KAT

JANE!

Babe, you need to calm down

I’m going to call you, okay?

Are you safe?

VANESSA

Does anyone know Jackie Pike’s number? Maybe she can send someone to help?

MADDIE

Oh! Great idea Van…

JANE

FUCK

Please ignore everything I just texted…

I’m so fucking sorry….

Jane has left the chat

FÉLICITÉ

Tabarnak! 

KAT CARMICHAEL

KAT

Jane, please pick up

Jane, I know you’re reading these messages

JANE

I’m so sorry Kat

Please stop calling

I can’t…

I can’t do this 

I can’t lose you too

KAT

SHANE HOLLANDER

ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE 

Call lasts 1:56:25 minutes

JANE

I still can’t believe you figured it out

KAT

Shane, babe

You were not that subtle

Also

Drink some water and get some sleep

I am adding you back to the chat in the morning

KAT (WAG Queen 👑)

VANESSA

Is Jane okay?

KAT

Yeah, he’s okay

I’m adding him back tomorrow

VANESSA

Oh thank fuck

I think Mike was prepared send out a search party

He saw how upset I was

KAT

Ryan was the same

VANESSA

Our boys are alright sometimes

KAT

Yeah

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

FÉLICITÉ

So… do we change Jane to Shane now?

JANE

No… I’m happy to stay Jane

Besides, I’m not out to anyone else and it looks less suspicious

MADDIE

So, wait, does Roz have a codename too???

VANESSA

Oooooh

Yes!

I bet it’s something like Ilyana 

JANE

Actually it’s Lily

LUCY

Awwww

Jane and Lily, sittin in a tree

FÉLICITÉ

F U C K I N G

KAT

FÉLICITÉ!

FÉLICITÉ

AM I WRONG?!?!

JANE

😂😂😂

She’s not wrong…

KAT

JANE!

MADDIE

Girl!!! 🤣

LUCY

OMG, where has this Jane been???

JANE

A closet 

FÉLICITÉ

Fuck the closet

JANE

AGREED

VANESSA

I like out of the closet Jane

I hope more people get to meet him

JANE

🥹

BRB need to snuggle my Russian

FÉLICITÉ

Get some Jane!

THE DECEPTICONS

LISA

Hey Emi

Emi

Eeeeemmmmiiii

Influencing is not a real job and make-up is dumb

EMI

Bitch take it back

SHANE

That’s what gets your attention

EMI

Shut up Hollander

What is it Lisa?

LISA

Pay up! 

I got a hockey boyfriend

EMI

What????

SHANE

You and Wyatt Hayes are a thing?

Congrats!

LISA

Awww, thanks Shane 🥰

EMI

Gdi

Okay, fine

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

JANE

Hi ladies!

Thank you for all the messages 

I’m fine

Concussed with a broken collar bone

KAT

Oh thank fuck

FÉLICITÉ

That hit was intense!

MADDIE

I know everyone keeps saying it was clean

But FUCK it was hard

LUCY

Marlow was so upset

VANESSA

Screw Marlow, what about Roz???

Jane, babe, did Roz come and visit????

JANE

Yeah 🥰

My Ilya came to see me

LUCY

Awwwww

FÉLICITÉ

You’re still a little high aren’t you?

JANE

Yeah 😂

I’m going to stay with my parents while I recover

KAT

Want us to send you anything?

JANE

I’m good, thanks Kat

KAT

You’re welcome sweetie

THE DECEPTICONS

SHANE

LISA

LISA

Oh hey Shane

SHANE

I just got the mail!

I really wish I could go!

But I can’t drive myself and my mom is still mad

LISA

I know 😭

But I had to invite you both

EMI

I’ll be there Lisa!!!

Shane, I could drive you

SHANE

How do you plan to explain this to my Mom?

EMI

Easy

I’m attending a wedding 

You agreed to be my plus one

“But Auntie Yuna, he needs some air”

LISA

That might work

SHANE

Okay, but what about pictures?

LISA

Oh Wyatt and I are only allowing photos on disposable cameras

No other cameras

Aunt Yuna won’t know

SHANE

Okay

This probably won’t work

But I want to come

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

LUCY

Are you ladies watching this???

FÉLICITÉ

You mean Scott Hunter coming out in the most Scott Hunter way?

Hell yeah

VANESSA

Holy shit

This is wild

MADDIE

Jane????

You okay babe???

JANE

I…

This is incredible

Shit, hang on, Ilya’s calling

KAT

This is going to change everything

FÉLICITÉ

I’m ngl

Scott Hunter was not the one I thought would be gay

MADDIE

Who did you think would be gay???

FÉLICITÉ

Troy Barrett

MADDIE

No way

VANESSA

Girl

LUCY

Whhhhyyyy???

FÉLICITÉ

I don’t know!!!!

JANE

Yeah, Troy Barrett is not gay

KAT

Did you know Scott was gay?

JANE

No…

But I find it very hard to believe Troy is anything but straight

VANESSA

What did Ilya want?

JANE

He’s coming to my cottage for two weeks this summer 🥰

KAT

Awwwww!

FÉLICITÉ

I wish Victor had a cottage

When we go back to Canada we just go to his parent’s house

MADDIE

Jane I am so jealous

🏒RAIDERS FOREVER🏒

ROZANOV

Okay fuckers

First pre-season game against Montreal

You better be fucking ready to make them cry

CONNORS

So ready!

SEBBINS

Let’s gooooooo!

MARLOW

So ready!

CARMICHAEL

Oh shit

Marly and I are about to make history

I just saw Montreal Jane in the flesh

ROZANOV

What the fuck are you talking about???

Did you hit your head Carmichael

MARLOW

Oh shit it is her

ROZANOV

NO

NO ONE IS APPROACHING HER

CARMICHAEL

Sorry Cap we’re going in a tunnel byyyyeeeee

ROZANOV

BAG SKATES! BAG SKATES FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS

JANE

LILY

Jane

Love of my life

Where are you???

JANE

Hello to you too?

I’m just leaving practice to go meet my cousin at a cafe

Why?

LILY

Carmichael and Marlow seem to think they’ve spotted you?

JANE

Wait… I think know what’s happened

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

JANE

Hey Kat

Did you show your husband the selfie I sent you?

KAT

No????

Oh wait…

VANESSA

Oh that’s not good

KAT

I think I saw Ryan go through my albums

He might have seen it then

I swear I was going to delete it

JANE

Well he just told Ilya he saw “me” at the cafe I’m meeting my cousin

FÉLICITÉ

The cousin who’s face you used to catfish us?

JANE

Salope, tu sais pourquoi j'ai fait ça

FÉLICITÉ

Tu sais que je le dis avec amour 😘

MADDIE

ENGLISH

BOTH OF YOU

😽♥️EMI ♥️😽

EMI

Hey Hollander

Why are two weird hockey guys approaching me asking if I’m Jane?

SHANE

TLDR, Kat’s husband looked through her phone and found your selfie

The one I sent pretending to be Jane

EMI

😑

Gdi

Alright

How long will you be?

SHANE

Not long

EMI

😑😑😑

You are so lucky one of these guys is hot

RAIDERS WAGS 🖤💛🖤💛

KAT

Okay! 

Two things!

Number 1

JANE

JANE

What???

KAT

The council has decided

JANE

What council???

VANESSA
Jane, shush

KAT

In light of our beloved Captain Ilya Rozanov being traded to lawless Ottawa

FÉLICITÉ

BOOOOOO

MADDIE

BOOOOO OTTAWA

JANE

You know I’m from Ottawa, right?

LUCY

Jane, hush, let them process this

KAT

WE HAVE DECIDED

That you may remain a Boston WAG

JANE

But… Ilya’s going to be playing for Ottawa

KAT

Yeah but we decided we’re going to keep you

VANESSA

You’re not getting rid of us that easily Hollander

FÉLICITÉ

We get the feeling you don’t have anyone else to talk to about Roz

MADDIE

And we really like you

LUCY

Once a Raiders WAG, always a Raiders WAG

KAT

If we like you

JANE

🥹

Ladies…

That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me

I love you guys

FÉLICITÉ
AWWWWW

MADDIE

We love you too bitch

LUCY

Wait, Kat

You said two things

KAT

Oh yeah!

Ladies…

Kat has added Emi

KAT

Meet Emi!

EMI

Sup, bitches!

JANE

😑

Love the family loyalty Park

EMI

🙄

Hollander

It was a love tap

Get over it

JANE

I had a concussion!

And a broken collarbone!

EMI

He apologised!

VANESSA
Wait???

Marlow is dating emilyinmontreal???

FÉLICITÉ

Oh that’s why Marie was asking Victor all those questions about him!

EMI

Wait…

Is that Felicite St Germain????

MADDIE

That’s her maiden name???

FÉLICITÉ

BITCH YOU KNEW THAT

KAT

Ladies, please!

JANE

Welcome to the chaos Emi

CASSIE BOODRAM

KAT

Hey Cassie!

I don’t know if you remember me, but it’s Kat Carmichael from Boston!

CASSIE

Oh hey Kat!

I was about to message you!

I was wondering if you had the number for Ilya Rozanov’s girlfriend/wife?

Zane mentioned there was someone…

But Rozanov has been quiet about it

KAT

Oh sure!

[Shares contact]

Her name’s Jane

I told her to expect to be added

CASSIE

Thanks Kat!

End Notes

Inspiration has been pulled from subcorax, flashytonystark, uglygreenjacket and so many others.

There will probably be more of these.