The Gang's All Here

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Yesterday 10:15 PM
Cassie
I feel like WAG isn't the appropriate title for us anymore
Hasn't really been since the incident™
Why are you trademarking me and Ilya getting outed?
Caitlin
Someone's gotta make money off of it 🤷🏼‍♀️
Since it was a FanMail I think Hayden technically made money off of it
Ilyusha 🩵
Our public humiliation was only worth $100
Lisa
What would we use besides WAG?
Selena
WHAB?
Harris
That's not terrible, not good but not terrible
Selena
Gee thanks, Harris 🙄
I don't really mind wag but I'm also a player so 🤷🏻
Nicole
Shane, Shut up
Lisa
We remember our good friend Jane the wag before Shane the player joined so shhhh
🖕🖕🖕
Nicole
Saps!
Cassie
Rude? lol
Nicole
No, shut up
Spouses and Partners – SAPs
Caitlin
Does that please you, Harris?
Harris
I like it 👍
Lisa
Roz has been pretty quiet
He's complaining to me that he was made for wag life and you're stripping it from him 🤦🏻‍♂️
Ilyusha 🩵
Do you know how hard I worked to lock down THE Shane Hollander???? I have finally reached my goal of being Shane's wag and you TAKE FROM ME
Don't listen to him. SAP is great 👍

*****

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 8:11 AM
Caitlin
I am invoking The Sisterhood of the Traveling Puck
Lisa
🤞
Selena
🤞
Cassie
🤞
🤞
Ilyusha 🩵
What is this? This is cult?
Shane removed Ilya from the Chat
Nicole
DAMN!
But also, 🤞
Harris
👀👀 🤞

Ilyusha 🩵

Today 8:15 AM
Add me back
Shane
You need to respect the Sisterhood of the Traveling Puck
What is this?
The group chat is safe and sacred. Nothing leaves the chat and you support at all times 🤞
Yes sir 🤞

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 8:17 AM
I am reluctantly allowing my husband back in the chat
Lisa
Before he's back can I say that the pictures that were put on the team IG of you at practice???? 🥵🥵
Selena
Not Lisa hitting on Shane while Roz is in exile
Shane added Ilya to the Chat
Harris
Absolutely wild but not inaccurate 😉
Ilyusha 🩵
I am back and on my best behavior 🤞
Nicole
[Sure, Jan.gif]
Cassie
Now that we're all back… What's up, Cait?
Caitlin
I know that logically it isn't that big of a deal but Evan promised that he would stay home today since there's no practice and he's got the day off. He was going to hang out with Susie and do a little project around the house for me so that I could get out of the house and have a Me Day. We talked about this days ago but I woke up to him coming out of the shower saying he and Nick were taking Young and Bergy golfing
Lisa
And you let me go on and flirt with Shane when you've got actual shit to deal with?
Cassie
Oh, sweetie, no. You have every right to be upset.
That's so bad I'm so sorry Cait.
Harris
Maybe he just forgot? 🥺
Selena
Ooooh Nick just left
I'm going to call him
Caitlin
No! Don't!
Nicole
[‘You want me to kill them?’ gif from Waterboy.]
Ilyusha 🩵
Shane and I will be there in fifteen minutes
We are excellent babysitters!
Ilyusha 🩵
And big strong hockey players who can definitely do whatever project you need done
Harris
Troy and I can be on call if you need help. We're not doing anything today
Caitlin
You guys really don't have to!
Ilya is already packing Anya a bag of treats and toys. We will be there soon 😘

Caitlin Dykstra

Today 9:25 AM
How is everything? Susie's not causing any problems for you?
Cait, you've been gone for like 30 minutes
Everything is going to be fine! Enjoy yourself!
I know, I'm sorry!!
[A picture of Ilya laying flat on the Dykstra's living room floor while Susie pushes a firetruck over his back.]
Thank you ❤️
Today 11:47 AM
[A picture of Susie sitting in her booster seat at the kitchen table with something half eaten in front of her. Ilya is in the background, standing at the stove.] Ilya is making blinchiki for lunch. Susie really likes the cheese ones.
Awwwwww cutie 💓 😍
What is blinchiki?
Like a Russian crepe but not as thin or wide. You can fill them with basically anything.
Yum 😋 After she eats she'll probably be ready for a nap. I should be back not long after.
Take your time!

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 3:05 PM
Lisa
How were the adventures in babysitting?
Good! Definitely easier than wrangling the Pikes
Ilyusha 🩵
I love my Montreal children but yes 1 is easier than 4
We will not be having 4
Harris
How many will you be having? 👀👀👀
Cassie
And when? 👀👀
Not for a while
Ilyusha 🩵
We will win a few cups and then I will retire to be wag and house father
Stay at home dad.
Ilyusha 🩵
Same same
Same same
Caitlin
Well if today is anything to go off of, you're going to kill it!
[1. A picture of Shane and Ilya asleep on the Dykstras couch. Susie is asleep and draped across Shane's chest, her head on his shoulder. Anya is asleep and laying across Ilya and Shane's laps. 2. A picture of a container in the fridge, blinchiki, with reheating and serving instructions on the lid. 3. A picture of a newly assembled bookshelf in Caitlin's office. The books are organized and there is an indepth and color coded chart of the system resting on the shelf. 4. A note left on the kitchen island telling Evan to rest up because tomorrow would be a long day at practice.]
Lisa
🥹🥹🥹
Selena
You guys want to watch mine for me????
Nicole
Seriously!!! Anytime you wanna take the twins let me know!

*****

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 7:23 PM
Lisa
FMK
Harris
I am sat!!
Cassie
Here we goooo 👏👏
If you send 3 pictures of me again I'm leaving the chat
Ilyusha 🩵
No send them
Selena
I'm sure you have better pictures of Shane than whatever Lisa can find online
Lisa
👀👀👀👀
Ilyusha 🩵
😈
I will remove you again
Nicole
Are we not doing fmk anymore?
Lisa
Right I got distracted by Triple B Hollander
Harris
Triple B?
Caitlin
Boring
Cassie
Bummer
Lisa
BIG FAT ASS
Shane left the Chat
Ilya added Shane to the Chat
Selena
Honestly this is more fun than fmk

*****

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 9:18 AM
Nicole
Nicole Boyle, here, reporting to you live post Naked Morning™
Cassie
Good morning to you too 🤣
I hate that this is still a thing
Caitlin
You started it!
If anything Ilya started it!
Lisa
Duty 🫡
Selena
Duty 🫡
Cassie
Duty 🫡
Caitlin
Duty 🫡
Nicole
Duty 🫡
Harris
Now this definitely feels like a cult 😬
Ilyusha 🩵
See!! I said this!
Also, congratulations on naked morning Nicole
Selena
Was this regular naked morning or a dishes naked morning?
Nicole
Dishes
Ilyusha 🩵
YOU DID TELL THEM SHANYA
I don't know what you're talking about
Harris
Do I get to know what we're talking about???
Ilyusha 🩵
My husband BETRAYS ME
You're being over dramatic
Caitlin
Months ago Shane gave us the advice to tell our husbands that if all the dishes get put into the sink instead of scattered around our houses then they could watch us do the dishes naked because it works on Roz
Harris
Oh! 😳
Since you're so upset Ilya I'll just throw the gloves away, don't worry about it! 😊
Ilyusha 🩵
No!! No is fine. Do not worry!
Cassie
🐕🚶‍♂️

*****

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 6:21 PM
Selena
Good luck tonight, boys!!
Caitlin
Yeah! Kill Chicago!
Cassie
Harris, where are you tonight? I know Lisa is at work but we've got open spots on the couch here if you wanna join us
Harris
God I wish 😔😔 I'm still at my office doing work I don't know when I'll be done. I've got the game on though
Today 7:49 PM
Lisa
I've got like 20 seconds to breathe, pee, and eat. What's the score?
Harris
We're at 1 - 0 right now! Shane scored on an assist from LaPointe. Hazy's stopped 3 shots on goal!
Lisa
MY MEN ❤️
Today 8:25 PM
Cassie
The game went to talking heads after that hit
Harris
It looked brutal 😬😬
Lisa
What happened?????
Caitlin
Krashevski laid Shane out
Lisa
Is he okay?!?!??!
Harris
I'm trying to get in touch with staff at the game to find out
Nicole
Thank you, Harris ❤️
Today 8:43 PM
Harris
Shane is being taken to the hospital, Roz is going with him. He's awake and responsive
Lisa
Any sign of concussion or fracture?
Selena
Dr. Lisa is on call!
I'm glad he's okay that was a savage hit
Harris
Haven't heard yet, Lisa
Today 11:41 PM
Ilyusha 🩵
Shane is okay
Lisa
Ilya! Thank god. What did his doctors say? What about you?
Ilyusha 🩵
Minor concussion. Dislocated shoulder. Minor cheekbone fracture. He will be out for a few weeks.
I am okay. I would be better if Barrett and Dykstra let me kill Krashevski
Lisa
Oof he's gonna be in some pain for a while
Ilyusha 🩵
Yes but he is on good medicine now. [A picture of Shane in a hospital bed. His right cheek is swollen and discolored but he is smiling lopsidedly at the camera with soft, glassy eyes.]
Caitlin
Oh… he doesn't know where he is
Cassie
Not a thought behind those eyes
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Lisa
Get off your phone you have a concussion!!!!!!!!!

*****

🏒Real Housewives of Ottawa🏒

Today 2:31 PM
Ilyusha 🩵
Lisa I need second opinion
Do not drag Lisa into this!
Lisa
Uh oh what is it?
Ilyusha 🩵
You know how my husband got his face broken by ugly Russian defenceman from Chicago?
Lisa
I remember, yes
Ilya.
Ilyusha 🩵
Doctor said he must wait a month to suck my dick again
Seems excessive
Shane removed Ilya from the Chat
Ignore him and his last messages
Caitlin
Shane you weild too much power
Harris
Well shit 🤭
Lisa
Well depending on the severity of the fracture and widening the mouth too much for too long could lead to prolonged pain and possibly shift bones that may cause facial flattening
Oop he's gone
Facial FLATTENING?!??
Lisa
Oh yeah it can be pretty gnarly
Cassie
Shane don't let your face go flat
Selena
What would Lisa do if you had to stop doing sexy photoshoots because you sucked your husband's dick too soon?
Nicole
I know we've joked about death by Russian dick before but please don't ruin your face for Russian dick
Please stop talking about my husband's dick
Lisa added Ilya to the Chat
Lisa
Ilya if Shane sucks your dick before his fractures fully heal it could quite literally make his face flat
Ilyusha 🩵
Could ruin freckled cheeks?
Lisa
Yes
Ilyusha 🩵
🚫Don't touch me, Shanya!🚫
Shane left the Chat
Harris
BOOOOO
Ilya added Shane to the Chat
Caitlin
🍅🍅🍅
I hate you all and I'm going to bed!

*****

*****

Ilyusha 🩵

Today 6:15 PM
Good luck tonight! Not that you need it 😘
Thank you Солнышко
Today 7:45 PM
Tell Barrett that Larr is overcompensating on his left side, he should be able to deke and blow past him
You are ridiculous
Enjoy watching your sexy husband win game for you
You'd have a better chance of winning if you told Barrett to put more pressure of Larr 😘

End Notes

Thank you for all the support and encouragement it means the world 💛