Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories:

Gen, M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ottawa Centaurs WAGs Ensemble

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs WAGs Ensemble (Game Changers), Cassie Boodram, Lisa Hayes (Game Changers), Selena Chouinard, Caitlin Dykstra

Additional Tags:

Ottawa Centaurs WAGs Group Chat (Game Changers), Texting Fic, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Fluff and Humor, Secret Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Ottawa Centaurs Find Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Established Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Crack Treated Seriously, Shane Hollander is Obsessed With Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Player Ilya Rozanov, Texting, WAG Shane Hollander, Relationship Reveal

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of What is a RHOO?

Collections:

HollaNov fanfics I Love, These are the stories and series that I have at least reread twice., Heroes hive👀, Lazer's Social Media fics, RainyBugs_Hollanov_Yay!, so obsessed i might actually watch hockey, how dare you make me feel emotions (/pos), pepperroxd’s library, Nohn's Favorites, I need sunshine ☀️🏒 ~ Heated Rivalry (Game Changers) fics, depressed rat’s finished works, Read & Loved Media Fics, TDH Game Changers / Heated Rivalry, Social Media Fics, No thoughts just gay hockey

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-28 Words: 4,517 Chapters: 1/1

Real Housewives of Ottawa

Summary

After deciding to be less intense about guarding their relationship, Jane joins the Centaurs WAG Group Chat.

SELENA: Don't tell Nick I said that

CASSIE: This is the super secret wag space nothing leaves this chat without express permission 🤞

LISA: 🤞

CAITLIN: 🤞🤞

NICOLE: Sisterhood of the traveling puck 🤞

JANE: 🤞

Notes

This is fairly canon to TLG but I've taken some liberties and changed a few things - nothing too drastic though.

Enjoy!

LILY: You are sure you're okay with it? Is silly

LILY: I know we talked about being less… strict? But I don't expect you to jump this.

JANE: It's okay, really. I might be fun. Besides, it would be nice to have people I can actually talk about our relationship with that aren't related to me, or hate you.

LILY: Okay 💙

CASSIE: Ladies… I have such a fun announcement.

LISA: Oh?

SELENA: Do tell!

CAITLIN: Did you finally convince Zane to bring up making a Centaurs calendar to Gen?

CASSIE: No.

CASSIE: BETTER

LISA: Better???!?

SELENA: Jane? Who is Jane?

CASSIE: Jane… is Ilya’s WAG

JANE: Uh… hi?

NICOLE: No fucking way

LISA: ROZ HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!

CAITLIN: SINCE UH WHEN

SELENA: Holy shit no way

CASSIE: Sorry, Jane. They're just excited. Ilya has been keeping you under wraps!

JANE: It's alright, I get it.

JANE: We've been very private

CASSIE: You're probably confused and overwhelmed. I'm Cassie – Zane's wife.

LISA: Lisa 👋 I'm married to Wyatt!

CAITLIN: Caitlin 😊 Married to Evan

NICOLE: Nicole Boyle! Josh's wife!

SELENA: I'm Selena, Nick Chouinard's wife

JANE: Nice to meet you all.

SELENA: Where has Roz been hiding you!?

JANE: I don't live in Ottawa so whenever he has time off he comes to see me

LISA: Awwww

CASSIE: Where do you live?

JANE: Near Montreal.

JANE: Definitely closer than when he was in Boston, but still feels too far away.

NICOLE: You guys were together when he was with Boston?? How long have you been together?

JANE: It's been a few years

CASSIE: Years?! And he's never mentioned you or brought you around? Were you close with his Boston team or wags?

JANE: As a die hard Metros fan we didn't think they'd be very receptive 😬

CASSIE: Ah. Enemy territory.

LISA: Good thing we don't win enough to be a threat for Montreal lol

SELENA: We're more of a threat to ourselves atp

SELENA: Don't tell Nick I said that

CASSIE: This is the super secret wag space nothing leaves this chat without express permission 🤞

LISA: 🤞

CAITLIN: 🤞🤞

NICOLE: Sisterhood of the traveling puck 🤞

JANE: 🤞

CASSIE: FMK

LISA: YESS

NICOLE: uh oh

CASSIE: Hayden Pike. J.J. Boiziau. Shane Hollander.

SELENA: oooh Metros round

LISA: Fuck Hollander Marry Boiziau Kill Pike

JANE: That was quick

CASSIE: Lisa has a thing for Hollander

SELENA: She has a competency kink

LISA: Yes how weird to find the best forward in the league hot 🙄

CASSIE: Fuck Boiziau, Marry Hollander, Kill Pike

NICOLE: Same, actually

SELENA: I'm with Lisa, actually. Have you SEEN Hollander's Calvin Klein ads???? 👀👀👀

CASSIE: You know what that's actually so fair

CAITLIN: When Evan and i were dating he got so upset that i had those pictures saved on my phone 😅

CAITLIN: That being said! Fuck Hollander, Marry Boiziau, and Kill Pike

CASSIE: I love that we all chose to kill Pike

LISA: Jane, thoughts?

JANE: Help

JANE: The wags are playing fuck marry kill

LILY: Who are the choices 😈

JANE: Hayden, JJ, and ME

LILY: Oh is easy choice

LILY: Fuck and marry you. Kill other 2.

JANE: You are so unhelpful 🙄

LILY: I am most helpful and dont say something stupid like you would fuck pike 🤮

JANE: 🤮

JANE: Fuck Boiziau Marry Pike Kill Hollander

LISA: MY MAAAN 😭😭

NICOLE: Interesting

JANE: I like tall men with accents 🤷🏻‍♀️

SELENA: lol FAIR

CASSIE: Jaaaaane

CASSIE: Are you excited to have your man in your city~~?

CAITLIN: Are you going to the game?!

JANE: So excited 😊 I've missed his stupid face. FaceTime doesn't do it justice.

JANE: I've got work tonight but we will see each other after

LISA: Long distance is the WORST. Wyatt and I did it for a while when Toronto traded him and I was applying at hospitals here 😮‍💨

LISA: Stay strong, girl ✊🏻

JANE: It's better now that we are in the same country at least

SELENA: omg going through customs for dick 💀

CASSIE: Janie is truly gods strongest soldier

NICOLE: 🫡

CASSIE: @Lisa Your man is really bullying your man out there

CAITLIN: It's rough, man

LISA: I'm at the hospital and can't watch. What's happening?

SELENA: Hollander has taken like 10 shots on goal

NICOLE: And made two Hazy is holding his own but Hollander is making him work for it

CASSIE: Hollander is on fire tonight. He literally JUMPED over Holmberg when Pike knocked the kid over

LISA: My man my man my man

CAITLIN: You're ridiculous 🤣

CASSIE: Oof Roz just bodied Hollander into the boards

CASSIE: And laughed about it

SELENA: He's too excited to see his girl tonight to care about anything else lol

NICOLE: Josh said that Roz SPRINTED out of the locker room

CASSIE: The man has places to be!!

CAITLIN: Take care of our captain, Jane

JANE: 🫡🫡

LISA: @Jane !!

JANE: Yes?

LISA: What did you DO to Roz?

LISA: [A photo taken in the Centaur's locker room. Ilya is shirtless and laughing, clearly pushing at Bood's arm. There are obvious scratches down his shoulders and back.]

CASSIE: OKAY JANE

CAITLIN: I know we said to take care of him but did you have to rip him to ribbons!

JANE: He's fine, He's a big boy

CASSIE: 👀👀

JANE: I was sent a picture by Wyatt's wife today

LILY: Of what?

JANE: Your battle scars

LILY: Did you tell the wags how I got them? That a very pretty boy attacked me while I fucked his brains out?

JANE: I hate you

LILY: No you don't. I have scratches that say otherwise

JANE: FaceTime tonight?

LILY: I will be there

LILY: I love you

JANE: I love you too ❤️

NICOLE: If Josh leaves one more half empty glass of water around my house I'm going to murder him!

CAITLIN: YES! Evan makes a bowl of something for a snack and then leaves it wherever!

JANE: Tell them if the dishes end up in the sink you'll do them naked and they can watch

CASSIE: JANE! 😳

LISA: omg!

LISA: Does it work though?

JANE: There is a house in Montreal and one in Ottawa that never has dishes sitting out 🤷🏻‍♀️

NICOLE: ✍️✍️✍️

CAITLIN: Jane's out here keeping her house and her man in check and doing dishes in the buff!

JANE: Well… I wear dish gloves because I will peel my skin off if wet food touches my hands.

CASSIE: Are they at least cute gloves?

JANE: Is there such a thing?

SELENA: Oh… baby.

LILY: Is there a reason that I was handed two gift bags at practice today?

JANE: Is this a riddle?

LILY: Bood and Hayes handed me identical gift bags and said they were told to give them to me

LILY: One tag says Montreal and one says Ottawa

LILY: They are signed from RHOO

LILY: What is a RHOO???

JANE: Oh my god

JANE: Did you guys buy me dish gloves and make your husbands give them to Ilya?

CASSIE: Whaaaat? Us?

LISA: Who would do that? Certainly not us.

JANE: 🤦🏻‍♀️Ilya is freaking out

CASSIE: Merry Christmas, Captain!

JANE: It's a silly gift from the wags

LILY: Can I open them?

JANE: Go ahead 🤷‍♂️

LILY: Is rubber gloves? [A photo of several pairs of colorful rubber dish washing gloves spread out on Ilya’s kitchen counter. Some have pretty fabric attached at the tops.]

LILY: Did you tell the wags about the dishes thing????

JANE: I cannot confirm or deny what was discussed in the wag group chat I have been sworn to secrecy

JANE: Sisterhood of the traveling puck 🤞

LILY: Will you wear the pretty blue ones when you visit this weekend?

JANE: As long as the dishes are in the sink 😇

NICOLE: I am already stressing about Christmas dinner and plans

NICOLE: Josh's parents wanted us to go see them but my parents are going to be in town and the twins are TERRIBLE in the car for too long

NICOLE: Someone commiserate with meeeee

LISA: Lol Wyatt and I are staying home because I'm on call but Kristy, Eve, and Issac are coming to visit! We're going to take them to the canals to skate

CASSIE: Fuuuuun

CASSIE: Zane is more focused on the boxing day bbq

CAITLIN: We're going to Manitoba 😮‍💨

JANE: Ilya doesn't do Christmas Christmas

SELENA: What does that mean?

JANE: In Russia, Christmas is celebrated on January 7th. It's a whole thing. So, we don't do a whole lot. We do some gifts but we're probably just going to have dinner with my parents and hang out.

CAITLIN: Oh, that's cool

CASSIE: Are your parents in Montreal too?

JANE: No, Ottawa.

LISA: EXCUSE ME

NICOLE: You're going to be IN Ottawa and you didn't think to tell us???

JANE: I'm only there for Christmas unfortunately

SELENA: [Mean Girls ‘Boo you whore’ gif]

JANE: Sorry, it's really just going to be Christmas morning with Ilya, dinner with my parents, and back home

LISA: Ugh, that sounds so hard

NICOLE: Sorry I was just giggling to myself that Jane said she's spending Christmas morning with Roz and you said its so hard

CAITLIN: You are a mother!!! 🤣

CASSIE: How do you think she became a mother?

JANE: To be fair, he will probably be too excited about the Foosball table I'm getting him to think about anything else 🙄

SELENA: There could be multiple uses for the Foosball table 👀

JANE: I just thought about those little plastic guys poking me in the back and I hated it

SELENA: Striking Foosball table from Jane's Fuck it Bucket, got it

JANE: Fuck it bucket?

CASSIE: Places you'd wanna have sex - it was a silly thing we talked about months ago

SELENA: I'm waiting for summer so I can cross hammock off my list!

JANE: Oh God, don't do it on a hammock. Ilya almost killed me two summers ago when the thing tipped over!

NICOLE: Lolol! Holy shit!

CAITLIN: Crushed to death by naked Russian!

JANE: He wasn't fully naked

JANE: And, honestly, there are worse ways to go.

LISA: JANE!

JANE: Can I be a bitch for a second?

CASSIE: YES

NICOLE: Please do

LISA: I just went on break and I am SAT

SELENA: 🍿🍿

JANE: I stay off social media for the most part, right? It's just not for me. But whenever I log on I see all these girls talking about Ilya, either they're drooling over him (which I GET the man is quite literally a marble statue of a man) or there are the ones who talk about how they'd slept with him before

JANE: My boyfriend is no Saint, I know! We were very casual before we were officially together. But I kind of want to spray those girls with water like unruly cats

CAITLIN: 🔫BEGONE🔫

SELENA: That is rough I'm sorry

CASSIE: Yeah, the internet has no boundaries

LISA: I'm sorry, I have a short break and need to clarify

LISA: You and Roz were… friends with benefits?

JANE: Less friends more benefits

JANE: We would meet when we were in the same place and pretended for a long time we didn't actually like each other 🤷🏻‍♀️

NICOLE: And now look at you – a wag!

CASSIE: Merry Christmas! Hope you're all having a great day! [A photo of a very pregnant Cassie with her slipper covered feet up on Zane's lap.]

CAITLIN: Merry Christmas! Susie is having a blast with her new toys! [A photo of little Susie sitting in the box of some new fabulous toy that is lying forgotten next to her.]

LISA: Wyatt and Issac have taken over my dining table with LEGO. Safe to say Christmas has been fun. [A photo of Wyatt at a large table sitting beside a young boy, both meticulously going through the directions to build a very large and impressive LEGO set.]

SELENA: Merry Christmas!!!! [A photo of Nick and Selena standing in front of a large Christmas tree wearing matching pajamas.]

NICOLE: IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE [A photo of of the Boyle twins sleeping peacefully in the middle of a crowded living room.]

JANE: Merry Christmas! [A photo of a shirtless Ilya from the shoulders up sitting on a couch, a Christmas tree is behind him. He is drinking something from a mug with a mountain of whipped cream on top. A hand is reaching from behind the camera, brushing away a bit of cream from Ilya's top lip.]

CASSIE: I have chips, pretzels, soda, juice, and these dried fruit things I've been living on the last 2 weeks!

CAITLIN: I made dip!

LISA: I am going to stop at that bakery by the hospital when I leave to get some cookies before coming over.

NICOLE: Yummy! I have everything to make a charcuterie board when I get there.

SELENA: I have a bottle of wine for those of us not growing a small human

CASSIE: UGH jealous

CASSIE: Also I'm pretty sure there's cider from Harris left in the beer fridge out back of anyone wants it

LISA: Yes Please!

JANE: I have a black coffee I am sadly drinking while I finish packing for my work trip 😔

CAITLIN: Aw Janie 💛

SELENA: Black coffee? Are you a serial killer???

JANE: I don't really do dairy

JANE: Or sugar

JANE: Or “good food” in general according to Ilya 🙄 The man who somehow looks the way he does despite having the diet of an unsupervised toddler at a birthday party

NICOLE: Drag hiiiiim

CASSIE: Well I hope you enjoy your trip! I wish you could join us in watching the guys play in New York

LISA: I have a good feeling about tonight! The Admirals are going down!

JANE: Ilya said he is going to break Scott Hunter's hip because he is so old and shouldn't be on the ice – that it's elder abuse for New York to keep him around

CAITLIN: Holy shit Roz 🤣

NICOLE: I rescind my previous statement of ‘drag him’ Roz is actually very funny and is so precious to me

JANE: Me too 🥰

SELENA: JANE LIKES A BOYYYY 🤣🫵

CASSIE: A SMELLY HOCKEY PLAYING BOY 🤣🫵

JANE: You're all dumb and I'm going to finish packing!

LISA: JANE AND ROZ SITTING IN A TREE

CAITLIN: F U C K I N G

LISA: K I S S I N G

CASSIE: omg Cait! 🤣🤣

NICOLE: 💀💀💀

CASSIE: I can't believe we won

CAITLIN: I'm still in shock

JANE: I didn't answer my phone fast enough so Ilya sent me a voice memo of him yelling in Russian

LISA: Do you SPEAK Russian???

JANE: I'm learning! Ilya plays a dumb game where instead of pet names or whatever he calls me his [random Russian noun] so I can learn 🙄 Before he left for this roadie he called me a shopping cart

JANE: I asked him to teach me years ago and he used it as an excuse to be dirty

NICOLE: I never thought I'd think being called a shopping cart would be cute or romantic

CASSIE: Okay but did he teach you the dirty words 👀👀

LISA: What words did he say he'd teach you 👀

JANE: He said I only needed to know the important phrases like ‘harder, please' and ‘yes, sir’ 🤦🏻‍♀️

SELENA: AND DID YOU LEARN THEM

JANE: да

CAITLIN: Google says that means yes!!!!!!

JANE: I'm going to call Ilya and go to bed!

CASSIE: ”Go to bed”

LISA: Okay we believe you 😉

CASSIE: DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

CAITLIN: Two in a row???? Who are we the Metros?!?

LISA: The Metros lost in Washington 👀

CAITLIN: WE'RE BETTER THAN THE METROS

CAITLIN: Oop sorry Jane

JANE: No, the Metros played like dog shit against Washington

SELENA: We love a brutally honest queen 👸

NICOLE: I wish I could call Josh but they're getting right on the plane to Tampa 😔

CASSIE: Checking in on you all. Everyone okay? Anybody need anything?

CASSIE: My house is open if anyone needs to talk or not talk

CAITLIN: I'm okay, I made Evan stay on the phone with me when we were going to bed last night just so I could make sure he was breathing

NICOLE: I'm a little shaken up still. It's a lot to process by myself with the twins

LISA: I'm off today, do you wanna bring them to Cassie's and we can help watch them while you decompress?

SELENA: I could come get some baby snuggles

CAITLIN: I can bring Susie too!

NICOLE: You guys are the best 😭

CASSIE: @Jane Are you okay, honey? Have you talked to Roz?

JANE: Yeah, yeah. We talked and FaceTimed last night. And this morning. I'm still a bit freaked out

JANE: Ilya is very good at compartmentalizing and not always talking about how he's feeling but he seems okay enough

JANE: I'm just having a little moment because I have to fly home from my work trip soon

LISA: Oh, Janie, that's so scary but you'll be fine!

SELENA: It will be okay!

CAITLIN: We're here for you 💖

LISA: Heyyyy

JANE: Oh, hey Lisa. What's up?

LISA: I'm not going to beat around the bush and just ask

LISA: Wyatt mentioned that he saw a ring on the necklace that Roz always wears and I was just wondering (100% between us I SWEAR) what that's all about

JANE: This does not leave this chat

LISA: The information will have to be tortured out of me and even THEN I'll tell ‘em to fuck off!

LISA: Sisterhood of the traveling puck 🤞

JANE: Ilya and I are engaged

LISA: AHHHHHHH

LISA: Holy shit JANIEEEE

LISA: CONGRATULATIONS omg how'd it happen??????

JANE: With like 1000 (electric) candles all over

JANE: And then he KICKED the coffee table to the side and we… on the rug 🫣

LISA: Get it girl!! Omg I'm so happy for you guysssss

JANE: Thank you, Lisa. Really.

NICOLE: Matheson

CASSIE: Are we smashing and passingggggg

NICOLE: The boys left for their roadie and the twins won't sleep so I'm bored

LISA: Pass

CAITLIN: Smash

CASSIE: Also smash

JANE: Pass

SELENA: Smash

NICOLE: Smash

CASSIE: How about that center Boston signed after Roz left? Fitz?

CAITLIN: [Mariah Carey ‘I don't know her’ gif]

JANE: 6’ 2, decent passing, okay shot percentage, not super quick but agile, hits like a freight train

LISA: Jane coming in with the scouting report lol

NICOLE: I looked up his picture. Smash

CASSIE: Smash

CAITLIN: Pass

SELENA: Smash

JANE: Pass

LISA: Smash

SELENA: An easy one: Shane Hollander

CASSIE: Smash

CAITLIN: Smash

NICOLE: Smash

LISA: SMASH 🚨

SELENA: Down girl lol

JANE: Smash I guess

LISA: YOU GUESS

LISA: [Several photos and screengrabs from different ads Shane Hollander has done - many shirtless, or wet, or both.]

SELENA: I love how she just has those ready 💀

CASSIE: Jane I am mad at you

CASSIE: Not mad I'm just hormonal and need an outlet and I've chosen you

CAITLIN: Why are you mad by proxy at Jane?

CASSIE: It's Valentine's weekend and her man is in her city

CASSIE: And now she's not even replying!

SELENA: Baby reread why you're mad and see if you can figure out why she's not replying

LISA: GET IT JANIE

CASSIE: Now I'm more mad

JANE: 👋

NICOLE: Ooooh now she makes an appearance 🤣

CAITLIN: Cassie's gonna flip lol

CASSIE: Now you've decided to grace us with your presence!

JANE: Ilya needed a snack and some gatorade 😋

SELENA: Jane's a freak!

LISA: It's been like 5 hours 😳

CASSIE: 😡😡😤

CASSIE: (I'm not actually mad Im glad you're having fun)

NICOLE: Fun 🤣

JANE: Oop duty calls 🫡

LISA: BRB changing Roz's name in my phone to Duty

CASSIE: So…

CASSIE: Shane?

CAITLIN: We know you've probably got a lot going on right now. But we're here. We support you.

NICOLE: We're here when and if you want to talk.

SELENA: Absolutely 💖

LISA: Whatever you need

SHANE: First, Thank you for reaching out. It means a lot. And that some of the guys reached out to Ilya. Second, I'm sorry for not being truthful. Ilya and I have been a thing for… many years. It's always been a secret. We originally planned to just wait until we retired to be out but then things changed. We got a little lax and we even made plans to come out this summer after we got married. But here we are. You all have been so supportive and kind and I really appreciate it. I never lied to you guys, other than the name thing, and kept all your secrets too. It was nice to be part of a group that is so supportive and caring. Thank you again, and I'm sorry.

CASSIE: You have nothing to apologize for. You were in a hard place and did what you thought was best and safest. We understand.

SELENA: And we love you! You're one of us whether you like it or not!

CAITLIN: Yeah! And it really sucks that the league is making them bench the both of you. It is so fucking stupid.

NICOLE: So dumb. Is your team at least supportive?

SHANE: No, not really. My coach is furious and the team is disgusted - not that I'm gay. I told them that already and like, they were less than thrilled or whatever, but they are pissed about the Ilya of it all.

LISA: What absolute fucking assholes

LISA: What are you guys going to do now?

SHANE: Our agent is writing a statement for us to post online. My coach told me not to, so I don't know. And we have a meeting with Crowell in Montreal, which is terrifying.

CASSIE: Crowell (derogatory)

CASSIE: If you need anything we're here! And now that we know it's you… you should come join us for a game night when you're off!

SHANE: Thank you, that's really nice. I'll let you know.

CASSIE: Shane, baby, you know we love you

CASSIE: But you're going down!

SHANE: I'm excited to see them try 😘

CAITLIN: I love having sassy hockey Hollander here

LISA: Good luck, don't score too many goals!

SHANE: No promises 😉

NICOLE: How are WE in overtime in the play offs against the Metros???

SELENA: Game seven at that!!

CASSIE: Shane and Roz are facing off!!!!!!!

LISA: I'm gonna be sick I can't watch 🫣

CAITLIN: ROZ INTERCEPTED THE PASS TO BOIZIAU

CASSIE: omgomgomg

NICOLE: Oh oh no

CAITLIN: We won!!! Holy shit!!!!

SELENA: Poor Shane that trip looked painful

LISA: I will burn down the Bell Centre for you Shane

NICOLE: We can take my car it has more room

CAITLIN: Can we stop for Tim's on the way?

NICOLE: Obviously, we aren't animals

SHANE: You guys are very sweet. I'm alright.

SHANE: And I'll be in Ottawa for games 3 and 4. Ilya got tickets for me and my parents

CASSIE: We are going to meet our BFF Jane?!

SELENA: Sorry I was on a call, do I need to pack to destroy the city of Montreal or no?

SHANE: No lol

SELENA: Damn

SHANE: Hey so Ilya and I are planning to get married in July and my mother has requested addresses for actual save the dates to be sent out

CASSIE: Actual save the dates? Were you just going to text us the week before to see if we were busy or not???

CAITLIN: lol a u up text as wedding invite feels very Roz tbh

SHANE: Fuck off 😜 We are very busy right now and things are up in the air

NICOLE: Has Montreal said they're going to renew your contract?

SELENA: Do you WANT them to?

SHANE: I don't know. Right now I am focusing on my birthday coming up and spending the summer at the cottage with Ilya and the hockey camps and getting married

LISA: That is a lot

SHANE: We will cross that bridge when we get to it but right now I need addresses before my mom kills me please and thank you 😊

LISA: SHANE

LISA: WELCOME TO BIRTH!!

SHANE: Thank you! 🤣

NICOLE: 🎶This is your birthday song it isnt very long🎶

CASSIE: Happy birthday!!!!!!

SELENA: Happiest of birthdays to youuuu!

CAITLIN: Happpppy birthdayyyyy!!!

SHANE: Thank you, really 🥺🥹

SHANE: I am being replaced

CASSIE: ??

SHANE: [A photo of Ilya asleep on the couch with their dog, Anya, curled up between his legs with her head on his thigh.]

LISA: Aw you can't be mad at little Anya

SHANE: That's my spot 😔 I got up to go to the bathroom and she stole it

CAITLIN: You sound like Susie 🤣

SHANE: I'm leaving them on the couch and going to bed

SHANE: Surprise

SHANE: A photo of Shane smiling and wearing his brand new Ottawa Centaurs jersey.]

CASSIE: HOLY SHIT

SELENA: Am I dead?!?!?! Did I die in my sleep????

LISA: The scream i just let out made Wyatt fall off the couch and I don't even care!

LISA: The Shane Hollander is joining the Centaurs!!!!!

CAITLIN: Oh my godddddddd

NICOLE: How soon until the team sells child size Hollander jerseys?

CASSIE: Get a Roz one too so you can have the set!

SHANE: You guys are ridiculous

CASSIE: Wait if you're a centaur now does that mean…

SELENA: Oh, it does.

SHANE: Mean what?

ILYA: Hello ladies 😏

Works inspired by this one

Art inspired by "Real Housewives of Ottawa" by Selective_Attention by skargasm