Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Original Male Character (Conrad "Delzy" DelZotto)/Original Male Character

Characters:

Original Male Character(s), Conrad "Delzy" DelZotto, Shane Hollander (mentioned)

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe, My Hopes Are Prone to Elevate Universe, Delzy's the MC!, One Night Stands, (or is it a one night stand?), Banter, Awkward Flirting, ONE dumb hockey boy, and one nerdy social worker, Delzy thinks he's so mature, My foolish son, Blow Jobs

Language:

English

Series:

Part 2 of "My Hopes Are Prone to Elevate" Universe

Stats:

Published: 2026-04-18 Words: 5,491 Chapters: 1/1

Conrad

Summary

Conrad DelZotto was known to pretty much everyone as Delzy. Some teammates had to be funny and call him Zotto. His mom and sister still called him Connie. But most of the world couldn’t even remember that he had a first name, so it was the perfect way to go incognito when he needed to.

Set in My Hopes Are Prone to Elevate universe.

Notes

So many lovely lovely commenters on My Hopes Are Prone to Elevate have told me they want Delzy to find love, and girls (gender neutral), we are starting that journey here. This is just a one-shot to dip my toe into Delzy's story and set the stage for what will be a much longer fic.

Thank you Nico and Heather for helping me get this together and for just generally listening to me ramble about Delzy! And thank you dntat for helping me figure out who Ben is!

He only used his first name with strangers.

He always hated the name, but it’s useful to him now.

Conrad DelZotto was known to pretty much everyone as Delzy. Some teammates had to be funny and call him Zotto. His mom and sister still called him Connie. But most of the world couldn’t even remember that he had a first name, so it was the perfect way to go incognito when he needed to.

And right now, he needed to. Because the guy across the bar had been making eyes at him for the last 30 minutes, and he was easy to look at, and it was getting late, and Delzy was pent the fuck up.

The Ottawa Centaurs were in Sunrise, Florida. Which was not, NHL rookies were disappointed to discover every year, on the beach. Not even that close to Miami. But it was close enough to Fort Lauderdale that Delzy could get there and back for a quick hookup with no issues after their game. Perks of being the captain. Perks of Fort Lauderdale being one of the gayest cities in America.

So he slipped off his stool and walked around the horseshoe bar towards the man making eyes at him. Those eyes tracked him as he moved, and Delzy couldn’t help but let a smile tweak his lips slightly. He licked his lips as he sat down in the barstool next to his new friend. Without looking at him, while gesturing for the bartender to get him a refill, Delzy spoke.

“See something you like?” He asked with a casual air.

His admirer huffed a little laugh. “Am I that obvious?”

Delzy finally turned to him and shot him an incredulous look. “Were you trying to be subtle?”

The guy hung his head and fully laughed this time. “Subtlety isn’t my strong suit, I don’t think.”

Taking his beer from the bartender, Delzy turned to the guy, who swiveled to face him too. 

“What is your strong suit, then?” Delzy asked, already charmed by this guy. He looked like he was probably a few years younger than Delzy’s 35 years, with high cheekbones and soft eyes hidden behind plastic-rimmed tortoiseshell glasses. His plaid shirt was slim-cut, with the sleeves rolled up revealing strong forearms with a light dusting of hair. The shirt was accented by the skinny tie he paired with it, and it gave the guy a sort of hipster professorial look. 

“Uh, well,” he said with a resigned sigh, “statistics about homelessness among queer youth? Great with those. Generally very good at droning on about boring topics and driving away hot guys before I even know their names.”

Fuck, he was Delzy’s type. 

“I’m Conrad,” Delzy smiled at him and stuck out his hand. 

“Ben,” the other man smiled back, shaking Delzy’s hand.

“You know my name. Now, where’s this hot guy?” Delzy asked, pretending to look around the bar.

“I think you know full well that you are the hot guy,” Ben replied with a snort.

“Well, thank you.” Delzy smirked at him. “And what about those boring topics? You haven’t mentioned any yet.”

“Don’t lie and tell me you’re interested in the social and political determinants of poverty and the disproportionate rates of homelessness, drug use, and sex work amoung queer youth,” Ben rattled off skeptically.

“I would never lie to you about that,” Delzy said earnestly. “That sounds like pretty important stuff for someone to know a lot about.”

Ben sighed. “You’d think. But it doesn’t usually get me laid.”

“Hmm,” Delzy hummed. “That’s too bad. I find it very hot.”

He wasn’t lying. No one but his sister knew this, but the hot nerd type was kind of Delzy’s secret weakness. He couldn’t help being attracted to a guy who was passionate about some academic niche that Delzy knew nothing about because he basically left school at 17 and never looked back. If he ever thought about settling down (which he rarely did), Delzy imagined it would be with a guy who actually did something useful with his brain, and didn’t dedicate his life to trying (and failing) not to get concussed. 

“Now you really need to stop lying.”

“Ben,” Delzy let his knee swing out to tap Ben’s, lowering his voice to a husky whisper. “I’d never lie about that.”

Ben bit his top lip and it looked like he was trying to hold back a smile. Delzy was ready to pounce — he wanted to be the one with that lip between his teeth — but didn’t want to scare Ben away. So they sat there, knees still touching, and sipped their drinks, nodding along to the music droning out of the tinny bar speakers.

“So, Conrad?” Ben asked lightly, finally breaking the silence. “You from around here?”

“Nope,” Delzy replied without elaborating, holding back a grin. “You?”

“Nope,” Ben echoed.  

“And we’re going to leave it at that?” Delzy asked.

“I guess so,” Ben said, sipping his cocktail with a cute little shrug. 

Delzy was used to finding random guys for one night stands on the road. Especially when they played teams in southern cities where no one really cared about hockey. But there was something about Ben that made Delzy more eager than usual. It was probably the glasses. And the self-deprication. It made Delzy want to prove to him how hot he actually was.

“And that must mean at least one of us has a hotel room, right?” Delzy asked. 

“Logic would suggest that, yes.” Ben nodded sagely. 

“Ben,” Delzy tapped his knee again. “Do you have a hotel room?”

Ben downed the rest of his drink and took a breath.

“Yes. It’s the hotel next door, actually,” he offered. “Do you want to…?”

Before Ben finished his question, Delzy was pulling out his wallet and slapping two twenty dollar bills on the bar, and getting out of his seat. 

“Yes,” Delzy said to a surprised looking Ben, whose eyes darted from the cash on the bar to Delzy and back. “Let’s go.”

Ben hopped up, but said, “Wait, I can pay.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Delzy replied with a shake of his head. 

“I can’t let you…” Ben started, looking back at the bar.

“You really can,” Delzy insisted. He didn’t want to add “I’m rich and have no one to spend my money on” but he would if he had to. 

With a sigh, Ben relented. “Fine, fine. I don’t make enough money to argue.”

“Good boy,” Delzy said, before he could stop himself. 

Ben cleared his throat, and Delzy saw color rising on his neck. “Uh, um… follow me, I guess,” he said, and walked towards the exit, Delzy grinning as he followed behind him.

When the door opened, they were hit with a wave of humidity and heat that were just unnatural for March, especially with the sun already going down — it felt so wrong when it was probably below freezing right now in Ottawa.

“I fucking hate Florida,” Delzy grumbled, wiping sweat from his forehead. 

“You and me both,” Ben chuckled. “Are you here often?”

“A few times a year for work,” Delzy answered, figuring that was vague enough. 

“Yeah, same.” Ben nodded to his left and gestured at the hotel entrance they had already reached. “This is me.”

They walked towards the elevators, neither of them speaking. Delzy noticed Ben tapping his key card against the side of his thigh, and without thinking, took his hand and stilled it. With a sharp intake of breath, Ben snapped his head to look up at Delzy. He wasn’t short, but at 6’5”, Delzy didn’t often hook up with men taller than him. Ben was probably 6’1” or so, and Delzy liked that he could look down at him just a little. 

“Nervous?” Delzy asked with a smile and a wink, releasing Ben’s hand to let him walk into the elevator.

“Why would you think that?” Ben asked with a little laugh, punching the button for the 14th floor.

Delzy took Ben’s hand again, now that the key card was back in his pocket. Ben let out a long breath then squeezed Delzy’s hand back. His fingers were long and slim, like the rest of him, but his grip was firm, and Delzy’s mind was suddenly wandering, imagining what that grip would feel like on his dick. He closed his eyes to will himself to not get hard in this damn elevator. But he was so pent up, and Ben really was so hot, it was a struggle. 

The elevator finally dinged and Ben dropped his hand, leading the way to his room. Delzy walked a few steps behind him, taking the opportunity to check out his ass, which looked stupidly good in the khaki chinos he was wearing. No ass should look that good in chinos, except for maybe a hockey ass. Delzy sent another calming thought down to his desperate dick and stuffed his hands in his jean pockets to prevent him from reaching out to touch Ben before they were behind closed doors. 

When they finally got to the right room, Ben had to try three times before his key card would work, and he was getting increasingly flustered, which Delzy found increasingly adorable. He had a feeling this wasn’t the usual occurrence for Ben that it was for Delzy, and that was strangely endearing. Everything about this guy was strangely endearing so far.

With a click, the door opened, and Ben mumbled, “Jesus, finally,” and pushed in with Delzy right on his heels, laughing affectionately. 

Ben strode in and dropped the key on the desk, toed off his shoes, and stayed there, eyes fixed on the key card, and pointedly not looking back at Delzy who walked up behind him. He pressed in close to Ben, who was radiating tension, and rested his hands lightly on his hips. Ben’s eyes closed and he breathed deeply through his nose, then leaned the slightest bit backward into Delzy.

“What now?” Delzy asked, leaning in to whisper softly into Ben’s ear. 

“You tell me,” Ben replied, slowly turning around so they were face to face. 

Delzy kept one hand with a solid grip on Ben’s hip and brought the other to slide along Ben’s jaw and up the nape of his neck. Instead of answering, he leaned in to kiss him and Ben leaned in too, their mouths meeting in a much softer and more tender kiss than Delzy had been expecting. They pressed wet, open lips together, and brushed just the tips of their tongues together, lingering for long seconds before pulling apart. 

“You good?” Delzy asked, watching Ben’s eyes slowly drift open.

“So good,” Ben breathed with a smile. Then he grabbed Delzy’s face with both hands and kissed him again, much harder, insistent and demanding, and Delzy let go of any restraint and met Ben’s energy with a hot tongue sliding deep and possessive into his mouth. 

With arms wrapped around his trim waist, Delzy stepped backwards towards the bed, pulling Ben with him, unintentionally breaking their kiss. Ben whined softly at the loss of contact, and Delzy huffed a laugh. 

“Needy,” he teased, sitting on the bed to kick off his shoes before curling a finger into Ben’s belt loop and pulling him between his wide-spread thighs. Ben moaned in the back of his throat and ran a hand through Delzy’s thick hair. His lips were already looking kiss-swollen, and Delzy’s mind conjured an image of what they would look like stretched and wrapped around his cock, his own dick twitching at the thought. 

Enough hesitating. Delzy ripped Ben’s belt open and started pulling the hem of his button-down out of his pants. “Get this off,” Delzy grumbled, and Ben took over removing his tie and shirt, while Delzy reached behind his own neck to pull off his t-shirt and tossed it aside carelessly. That didn’t matter now. He lifted his hips just enough to slide his jeans off and rid himself of his socks along with them.

Ben had successfully stripped out of all clothes except the neat, white briefs he was wearing, which did very little to hide how hard he was already. Delzy’s own boxer briefs were straining against his erection, which grew even harder at the sight of the man in front of him. Delzy dragged his eyes up from his soft-looking stomach to the wide chest that was a few shades paler than his long, toned arms. His shoulders were broad but a little boney, and he definitely looked like someone who didn’t spend all his days in the gym, which Delzy appreciated. He was understandably obsessed with his own physique — it was his livelihood — but he preferred men who weren’t so gym-obsessed if they didn’t have to be. 

“Fuck,” Ben breathed, eyes raking over Delzy’s body. At first he preened, but then he realized that Ben’s eyes had landed on a yellow-and-purple bruise on his left ribs. It was from a few games back, he got slammed against the boards hard at just the right angle that his pads didn’t do much to help him. He’d kind of forgotten it was there.

“Don’t worry about that,” Delzy said, shifting uncomfortably where he sat. “Just come here.” 

“What happened to you?” Ben asked, ignoring Delzy’s brush-off. “That looks serious.”

“Job hazard,” Delzy said with a little wave of his hand, as if it was nothing. And really, it was nothing. He’d had a lot worse in the last 16 years of his NHL career. But he understood that to someone like Ben, it looked bad. “My job is very physical. I promise you I’m fine. Or I will be when you’re touching me again.”

With a smile, Ben shuffled forward and raked another hand through Delzy’s hair, pulling his head slightly back to look up at him in a way that made Delzy’s dick harden a tiny bit more. “Fine. But tell me if I’m hurting you.”

Delzy grinned wickedly. “Maybe I like it to hurt a little.”

Ben rolled his eyes but licked his lips in a way that Delzy knew was shielding a smile, then climbed onto the bed so that he was leaning back against the pillows. Delzy turned to crawl over him, watching his eyes go from amused to heated and hungry. With his thighs braced on either side of Ben’s hips, Delzy took his face in his hands again and claimed his mouth with a forceful kiss, escalating their playful back and forth and finally taking what he wanted. Ben moaned into Delzy’s mouth and slid his hands up Delzy’s chest, running his fingers through the hair there, then running his thumbs over Delzy’s nipples, making him groan.

Pulling back, Delzy dragged Ben’s bottom lip with his teeth before releasing it and focusing his attention on kissing up his sharp jaw to his ear. A nibble on his lobe made Ben shiver and whisper a little “fuck” that lit Delzy up inside. He loved a vocal partner, and Ben was proving to be just what he wanted with all his moans and whimpers — and Delzy hadn’t even touched his cock yet.

“Like that?” Delzy asked smugly between kisses down Ben’s long neck.

“I like everything that’s happening right now,” Ben breathed. “Don’t stop, please.”

“Since you have such good manners…” Delzy chuckled and finally pulled away from Ben’s neck, instead starting to kiss his way down his chest. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”

“Jesus, um,” Ben let out a high giggle. “I don’t even know. Just keep touching me.”

Delzy pressed hot, open-mouth kisses down Ben’s stomach, savoring the salty sweat that had built up there on their short walk through the Florida heat and humidity. He smelled faintly sweet with it, like instead of body odor, he had some kind of beautiful personal aroma that Delzy wanted to inhale.

“Touch you where?” Delzy asked, now settled between Ben’s legs, mouth hovering over his clothed cock.

“You ask a lot of questions,” Ben sighed, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at Delzy with a smirk. 

Delzy just grinned and said, “Enthusiastic consent, you know?” He tilted his head like he was thinking. “Aaaand I kinda like making you sweat.”

“You’re sort of an asshole, aren’t you?” Ben laughed. 

“I’ve been called worse,” Delzy answered, then kissed just above the waistband of Ben’s briefs. “Now tell me… where should I touch you?”

“Shit,” Ben breathed. “My dick. Please touch it. I’m dying here.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Delzy said, mouthing the fabric covering Ben’s erection.

“Under the underwear, please,” Ben whined.

Delzy huffed a laugh, but relented his teasing and finally pulled down the briefs, Ben lifting his hips so Delzy could remove them completely. His cock was thick and a decent length, surrounded by kind of unkempt hair, which didn’t bother Delzy in the slightest. 

Placing a wet kiss to the base, Delzy breathed him in again and felt his own cock twitch. It had been too long since he had a dick in his mouth — with a home-game stretch in Ottawa that meant Delzy was stuck with his hand as his only company. So he was going to savor this as much as he could.

Ben’s legs fell farther open as Delzy worked his way up his length with messy kisses that were mostly tongue until he reached the head and took it fully in his mouth. Ben hissed out a long “oh god, yessss” and Delzy hummed contentedly around his dick. He sank down farther, pulling back up and sinking down again until he felt Ben hitting the soft palette at the back of his throat. That elicited a whimper, and Delzy looked up to see Ben, wet mouth hanging open and panting, his eyes glazed. 

There was something so satisfying about this reaction, and it was Delzy’s favorite part of sex, maybe even more than getting off. So he did the same move, sucking up then sliding down until Ben’s cock hit the back of his throat, a little harder this time.

“Holy shit, Conrad,” Ben breathed and Delzy almost laughed. It was so weird hearing his first name like that, every time. “Oh my god, that’s so good, what the fuck.”

He kept going, not letting up, until Ben sank his hands into Delzy’s hair and pulled. 

With a filthy slurp, he pulled off. 

“Everything okay?” Delzy asked, breathless from having a cock down his throat.

“Yes, fuck yes. I’m just… I’m gonna come,” Ben blushed and Delzy wanted to bite down on his thigh, it was so cute. 

“So come,” Delzy said with a lick to the head of Ben’s cock before sinking back down on it and bobbing hard and fast. Ben’s hands were back in his hair, and Delzy glanced up and saw that his eyes were squeezed shut in pleasure. That wouldn’t do.

Pulling off just slightly, Delzy said, “Eyes open. Look at me.”

Ben’s eyes flew open — his pupils blown and lids heavy. Delzy held his gaze, and he came hard with a sweet moan down Delzy’s throat within seconds. Delzy pulled off slowly and swept a hand down his beard, watching the rise and fall of Ben’s chest slow back to a normal pace, and climbed back up the bed and pulled Ben in for a languid kiss.

His eyes were soft and hazy, and Delzy felt unreasonably fond of this man he just met, so he leaned down to kiss him again.

“That was fucking amazing,” Ben breathed. “You’re way too good at that. I don’t think I can properly return the favor.”

Delzy laughed and nuzzled into Ben’s neck. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He meant it, that was plenty for Delzy. He could just jerk off next to Ben, and he’d be more than fine.

“No, no, oh my god, no, I didn’t mean that, I want to,” Ben said earnestly, sitting up and pushing Delzy onto his back. “It’s just… well…”

“What?” Delzy furrowed his brow, looking up at Ben’s hesitant face.

“I haven’t done this in a while,” He answered with a shrug.

“You picked me up in a bar tonight, but you haven’t done this in a while?” 

“Uh, I’m pretty sure you picked me up.”

“Either way,” Delzy laughed. “You want to suck my cock?”

“Fuck,” Ben whipsered and closed his eyes. “So much.”

“So, here,” Delzy pulled off his boxer briefs, and finally freed his erection, which was still achingly hard and desperate to be touched. “Go slow if you need to. I’m telling you, your mouth on my cock is going to feel good no matter what.”

Ben laughed and rolled his eyes, then his expression went dark and hungry as he looked down Delzy’s body, over his hairy chest and hard stomach, the yellowing bruise on his ribs, down to the rigid length that was resting against his thigh. He took off his glasses and reached to place them on the nightstand, and then he leaned down to kiss Delzy, slow and sensual, then pulled back and settled himself between Delzy’s knees.

“Touch it,” Delzy instructed, and Ben immediately took his erection in his hand and stroked a few times. “Good boy, just like that.”

“The ‘good boy’ thing should not be so hot,” Ben said as he reached out his other hand to cup Delzy’s balls, making him hiss with surprised pleasure. 

“You’ve never been called a good boy in bed?” Delzy asked through breaths that were too shallow already.

“No,” Ben whispered, then leaned in to lick a stripe up Delzy’s length.

“But you’re such a fucking good boy,” Delzy said with a groan as Ben sank down onto his cock, and slowly pulled back up. “So good.”

Delzy was losing his cool already, and he wanted this to last longer, but Ben’s mouth was so hot and wet, and he was sucking so deliberately, and Delzy wanted to come so bad. Ben hummed in satisfaction as Delzy moaned, “That’s it, just like that, you’re gonna make me come so fast.”

Ben sped up, keeping it shallow, but Delzy didn’t need more than that, and in another minute, he was panting, “Ben, fuck, I’m gonna come.”

Rather than sink down to swallow, Ben pulled off and sat up on his knees, and started stroking Delzy's wet cock, aiming towards his own stomach when Delzy jerked and game with a gasp, watching as his release splattered over Ben’s lower abdomen and a little bit into the hair at the base of his cock. It was so unexpected and insanely hot, and Delzy just stared, breathing heavily as Ben’s hand slowed to a stop. Ben’s eyes were on Delzy’s cock and the cum painting his stomach too, looking as dazed as Delzy felt.

“Shit… that was hot as fuck,” Delzy breathed a shallow laugh.

Looking down at him with wide eyes, Ben replied, breathless, “I don’t know what that was, I’ve never done that before. But yeah. Damn. Hot.”

They smiled sleepily at each other for a minute, both starting to fade in the post-sex haze. Then Ben climbed off the bed and shuffled to the bathroom to clean himself up.

Normally, this is when Delzy would be pulling his pants on, saying thanks, and heading back to his own hotel without a glance back. But there was something calming and comfortable about this whole evening with Ben that had him lingering lazily in the bed. If it wasn’t so late at night, he might even consider going another round, but he knew should probably leave soon. 

After coming back from the bathroom, Ben had pulled on his briefs, sat on the bed, and leaned against the headboard. Delzy was still flat on his back, not ready to move, so he allowed himself to lie there, and nestled his head up against Ben’s hip and looked up at him. He really was handsome, even without the nerdy glasses Delzy so enjoyed, and he wanted to look at him just a little bit longer. It didn’t help that Ben was idly running his long fingers through Delzy’s hair in a way that made his eyelids droop sleepily.

“So. Conrad?” Ben said softly, looking down at Delzy. “That’s not a very common name for someone your age.”

“I don’t know if I’m as young as you think I am,” Delzy hedged. 

“You can’t be older than 35,” Ben furrowed his brow and cocked his head, studying Delzy’s face. “No greys, maybe just a few in your beard.” He moved his fingers from Delzy’s hair to scratch into his beard, and if Delzy were capable of purring, he would be.

“Okay, yeah, you got me,” Delzy huffed. “You ever see the musical Bye Bye Birdie?”

“Sure, I think so,” Ben answered questioningly, then realized with a laugh. “Oh! You’re named after Conrad Birdie?”

Delzy grinned up at him, “Ding ding ding. My mom loves musicals, and that was her favorite when she was a little girl. She was so disappointed when it turned out I can’t sing or dance.”

“I’m sure you have other talents,” Ben teased, then slid down the headboard until he was face to face with Delzy. “You showed me some tonight.”

Fuck, he was cute. Delzy wanted to say so many things, like he could show Ben more of his talents. Or that his talents would land him in the hockey hall of fame one day. But he couldn’t say either, so he just leaned in and kissed him softly, not with enough heat to start anything, but just enough to remind Ben that yes, Delzy was very talented.

Ben sighed and flopped his head down onto the pillow under him once they broke the kiss, eyes still closed, lips tipped up at the corners. Delzy needed to get out of here. He was getting way too charmed by this dorky man and his soft lips and his fingers that were somehow still in Delzy’s hair. 

With a sigh, he disentangled himself from Ben and said, “I should probably get going, it’s getting late…”

“Oh, right, of course.” Ben’s little smile was gone, and Delzy was once again suspicious that a one-night-stand wasn’t something he did often. “Um… thank you?”

Delzy stood up straight from where he’d been pulling on his boxer briefs and said with a grin, “Thank you. You were exactly who I needed to meet today.” 

“Same here,” Ben laughed, getting out of the bed. “Do you think, I’ll, uh, ever get the chance to meet you again?”

Delzy’s heart sank. There was a part of him, a part he kept deeply buried and mostly pretended didn’t exist, that wished he could say yes. If he allowed that part to surface for even a second, he’d ask Ben to exchange numbers and ask him when he’d be in Florida again and check their schedules and… But, no. That part stayed repressed. He knew it wasn’t healthy, he knew that. Hollander kept telling him that, as if a 23-year old who had been in one queer relationship for a few years had all the wisdom in the world. Nevermind that he was right. Delzy couldn’t afford to get attached to anyone right now.

“Probably not,” Delzy said, soft and apologetic, unable to be cold to the kind and disappointed face looking back at him. Then, he made a fatal error, saying with a laugh, “Unless you’re going to be in Ottawa, Canada anytime soon.”

Ben’s face froze. So Delzy froze, jeans on and shirt in hand. 

“What?” Delzy asked after a beat. 

“Ottawa?” Ben asked with a confused expression.

“Yeah, that’s where I live most of the time…” Delzy trailed off.

“And your name is Conrad?”

“Yeah, I think we established that,” Delzy huffed a laugh. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I live in Ottawa,” Ben said blankly. Then tilted his head to the side, assessing Delzy like he was a riddle. Then his jaw dropped. “Oh my god.” 

“Oh fuck,” Delzy said, realization hitting him a second after it hit Ben. 

“You’re Conrad DelZotto?!” Ben asked, stunned, then kept talking before Delzy could answer. “I didn’t… I didn’t even think. Out of context, why would you… and we were in a gay bar… and you always have a helmet on! And your name is Delzy! But the bruise… Oh, holy shit.” Ben had started pacing next to the bed, and Delzy needed to get control of this situation. 

“Ben,” Delzy grabbed him with a hand on each shoulder. “Hey, can we talk about this? You’re freaking out. I’m probably about to freak out.”

“Yeah I’m freaking out! An NHL player just sucked my dick? That’s… I don’t even like hockey!” 

Delzy couldn’t help but laugh, and he hung his head. “Okay, well, thanks for that. But, seriously. This… you understand why I didn’t tell you my full name, right?”

“Right… yeah… sorry, I don't usually hook up with apparently closeted professional athletes,” Ben snorted.

“But wait, why the fuck are you here? How did I find the one gay guy from Ottawa who's in Fort Lauderdale?” Delzy was starting to freak out now. He dropped his hands from Ben’s arms and turned, pushing his hands into his hair and tugging lightly to ground himself, or to keep from shouting. 

Ben approached him now, with a light hand on his back. “Conrad… Delzy… it’s okay.”

“Is it?” Delzy turned to him and asked, panic rising in his chest. “I’m so careful. So fucking careful. I can’t believe I let myself get too comfortable like this.” He finally looked at Ben, whose face looked as scared as Delzy felt. “Why are you from fucking Ottawa?”

“I’m here for a conference…” Ben answered softly. “There’s one here every year for people who work with HIV… and, whatever. That’s really not important. Conrad. Should I call you that? Delzy? Fuck, this is weird. But, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Delzy realized he hadn’t been breathing, and finally let out a long breath, Ben’s words easing him just enough.

“It’s really fucked up of me to ask you to do that, but… thank you. I really… I can’t… I’m usually so much more careful than this,” Delzy sighed, feeling defeated.

“Meaning you fuck guys in cities where no one cares about hockey and hope they don’t know who you are?” Ben asked.

“Well… pretty much,” Delzy shrugged and returned the pitying smile Ben was giving him. “It hasn’t really failed me in 15 years.”

“Wow,” Ben said. “That’s a long time to keep that secret.”

“Tell me about it,” Delzy rolled his eyes. He pulled on the t-shirt that he had balled up in his hands and took another deep breath. “Look, I’m really sorry, Ben. I really like you, you’re like… exactly my type,” he huffed a laugh. “And if my life weren’t… what it is… I’d probably want to see you again. But I just can’t. I kind of have to pretend like this never happened.”

“I’m exactly your type?” Ben asked disbelievingly, seeming to have missed the rest of what Delzy said. “You, professional athlete. Me, professional nerd. I’m your type?”

“Okay, well, glad that’s what you took from that,” Delzy chuckled. "You’re really hot. You know that right?”

“I guess I’m okay…”

“Ben.” Delzy —who was already in this so he might as well get a little more out of it — pulled Ben to him by the waist. “You’re really hot.” And he kissed him. Slow and deep, pressing his tongue into Ben’s hot, sweet mouth and breathing him in one last time. When he pulled back, Ben looked happy and dazed again, and that’s how Delzy was going to remember him. 

“I guess I can’t argue with a kiss like that…”  Ben chuckled. “But that kinda makes this whole thing suck even more.”

“I know,” Delzy said, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I gotta go now, I’m sorry.”

“Right, yeah. I’m sorry too.” He deflated and Delzy felt his stomach twist into a knot of guilt. 

“And you’re not going to tell anyone about this?” He hated asking, but he had to, one more time. 

“No, absolutely not. I’m not in the habit of outing people.”

“Thank you.”

They stood there looked at each other for a long moment, Ben still in his underwear, looking so fucking good and making Delzy regret this life he chose for the first time in a long time. 

“Maybe I’ll see you around Ottawa?” Ben asked, his face the image of someone who knew he was lying to himself but saying it anyway. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Delzy said, lying back to make this easier. 

He leaned in and kissed Ben on the cheek, then walked out the door without looking back.