Rating:

General Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Mentioned Hayden Pike - Character

Additional Tags:

Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prank Wars, Shane Hollander Is a Menace, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Married Couple, Married Life, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander Walks Ilya Rozanov Like A Dog, Shane pranks ilya, That's it, thats the fic, Post-Canon, no beta we die like dallas kent, ik he's not dead but he should be, Crack, Social Media, TikTok

Language:

English

Series:

Part 4 of Ilya "professional ragebaiter" Rozanov

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-09 Words: 1,353 Chapters: 1/1

Pranking Your Husband (a Shane Hollander special)

Summary

Ilya had been a menace the past couple of days. Shane decided it was time to give his husband a taste of his own medicine. Cue a bunch of pictures of Hayden, an hour, some Scotch tape, and one very mischievous Shane Hollander.

Notes

this was another 3 am idea for a fic that i wrote in like three hours. it's probably not great but idc lol

kudos and comments appreciated !!

Ilya Rozanov is known for being, in the most gentle of words, a menace, both on and off the ice. He was known in Boston for pranks especially. He hasn’t changed much over the years, even after moving to Ottawa, even after getting married. If anything, he may have gotten worse. It’s just that now, his pranks are targeted at one man. His husband. 

 

So yes, Ilya Rozanov is a pest, a nightmare, a menace, and an asshole - he is also, unfortunately, the love of Shane Hollander’s life. 

 

And maybe Shane wants to be a menace too. He knows he apparently “stealth funny” according to Rose and has “resting poker face”, whatever the fuck that means, so he thinks he can pull it off. 

 

So right after Ilya leaves the house for physical therapy, Shane gets out his phone, redownloads TikTok after deleting it almost a year ago, and logs into his official account. 

 

He goes to the recording section, makes sure he looks at least somewhat decent in the lighting in the kitchen, and then hits record. 

 

“Hello TikTok. My husband has decided to be a menace to me more than usual recently, so I’m getting back at him. I’ve got a couple pranks planned. I’m very excited to fuck with him.” Shane is sure there is some kind of evil glint in his eyes. “We’re starting easy, though, I’m just taping up pictures of my best friend, Hayden, all over the house.”

 

The camera angle changes, now Shane is holding the phone and moving around the house. On the counter behind him you can see a pile of papers with various sized pictures of Hayden Pike making funny faces. 

 

“Ilya is at physical therapy right now, and then he’ll probably go straight to the rink, so I have about an hour before I have to leave to meet him there.” Shane holds up a roll of clear tape. “So let’s get to work.”

 

The camera angle changes. “We’re going to start in the kitchen.”

 

A wide shot, Shane picks up a mug. “This is Ilya’s favorite mug. Sveta, that’s Ilya’s best friend, bought it for him for his birthday.” The mug is white, but as Shane turns it around, you can see a picture of his face, glaring at the camera with the caption #1 Best Hockey Player. “He thinks it’s hilarious.” Shane rolls his eyes, smiling, then picks out a Hayden in a similar size to the picture on the mug and then tapes it over his face. He pauses, looks at it for a minute, and then laughs so hard he almost drops the mug. “Oops,” he mutters, carefully putting it back on the shelf.

 

The next segment footage is sped-up; Shane takes things out of the fridge, taping Haydens seemingly at random. He takes out another cup and a couple bowls and tapes a Hayden to the bottom of each. He does the same to a few plates, then puts them randomly in a stack with other, non-Haydened plates.

 

“Now for the bathroom.” 

 

Shane is particularly proud of his plan for the bathroom. Ilya has a routine after practice - decide on dinner, go to the bathroom, cook or order dinner, eat dinner, go to bed. There’s usually sex thrown in at random, but Shane was going to try and… discourage that tonight. He didn’t want to accidentally film a sex tape. Again. It's a long story.

 

In the bathroom, he begins sticking and taping.

 

Soap dispenser? Hayden. 

 

Toilet paper? Hayden.

 

Shampoo? Hayden.

 

Toilet seat? Hayden.

 

On the wall, exactly at eye level when you’re sitting on the toilet? Hayden.

 

On the wall, exactly at eye level when you’re standing in front of the toilet to pee? Hayden.

 

Shane looks very smug as he picks up the camera. “All done.”

 

The scene changes again to the bedroom. 

 

“Now,” Shane grins. “For the final touch.”

 

He climbs on top of the bed, and tapes a Hayden, the largest of the ones he printed, to the ceiling, right about Ilya’s side of the bed.

 

Shane clambers down and winks at the camera. “Top that, Rozanov.”

 

The video cuts to black, then opens to a view of the floor. You can hear a door closing, and then Ilya's voice. “What do you want to do for dinner, moya lyubov? Thai?”

 

“Yeah, we can do Thai. You want your usual?”

 

“Yes, please!” Ilya calls, heading to the bathroom. Shane flips the camera towards himself and holds a finger to his lips, shushing the viewer.

 

There’s a pause. Silence. Then-

 

“Shane!”

 

“Yeah, baby? What’s up?” Shane is visibly trying not to laugh.

 

“Why the FUCK is there fucking picture of Pike in the bathroom?!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“There is PIKE on the WALL!”

 

“There’s a what on the where?” Shane is covering his mouth with his hand, obviously trying not to let his husband hear him giggling. 

 

“Why… Why is there a picture of Hayden Pike in our bathroom…” The camera flips to show Ilya opening the door to the bathroom, looking visibly confused and frazzled. “Why are there more than one? Is on toilet paper and soap too!”

 

Shane forces his face into submission. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

 

“Shane. Shane, moya lyubov-” Ilya stares at his husband. “Why is there Hayden Pike in bathroom?”

 

“I don’t know, baby, I have no clue how that got there.”

 

“You are liar.”

 

“Me?! Why would I lie about this?” Shane looks appropriately affronted by the accusation. 

 

Ilya squints. “I don’t know. But only explanation.”

 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry, yeah, I taped Hayden’s face to the wall- I thought it was funny!”

 

“You are asshole.”

 

Shane cracks up, laughing so hard the camera shakes. “Sorry, baby.”

 

The video cuts to black again, and then returns, Shane’s phone propped up somewhere in the kitchen. Ilya is putting take-out containers down, then reaching into the cabinet to get out dishes. He plates up their food and goes to pass the plate to Shane when he freezes. He lifts the plate higher.

 

“Shane?”

 

“Yeah, baby?”

 

“Why is Hayden Pike on our plates?”

 

Shane laughs again and doesn’t answer. Ilya looks visibly distressed. “Shane... How many did you tape?”

 

Shane shrugs, starting to eat.

 

“Oh no…” Ilya whispers, barely caught on the microphone. “Is revenge plan...”

 

Shane smiles.

 

The video cuts to black again, then returns to a view of Shane’s face as he climbs into bed. “Ilya’s in the shower, but he’ll be coming in here in a minute. This has honestly gone better than I thought it would.”

 

The video cuts to black again, then returns to a dark room. There’s audible rustling as Ilya gets into bed.

 

“Are you asleep already, sweetheart?” He whispers. 

 

“‘Bout to be.” Shane mumbles, yawning. More rustling as they rearrange themselves. 

 

“Okay, goodnight, I love you.” A pause. “There was a Pike on shampoo bottle.”

 

“Ya tebya lyublyu.” Shane replies sleepily. “I know there was.”

 

They settle in and it’s silent for a few moments.

 

“Shane?”

 

“Hm, baby?”

 

“Is that Pike’s face on ceiling?” 

 

“I dunno… is it?”

 

“... I’m going to get you back for this.”

 

“I’d love to see you try, Rozanov. Goodnight.”

 

The video ends.

 

-

 

Shane posts the video the next morning after editing it all together. 

 

The comments go crazy.

 

-

 

@realifeshayla

Shane’s evil little smirk, oh my god i love this man

 

@hayhaybaybay

This is diabolical shane… i love it

 

@hockeyhoh

Rozzy coming out of the bathroom looking so confused is ✨ A R T ✨

 

@hpikefan

“Why is there hayden pike in bathroom?” “I don’t know” SHANE YOU LIARRR

 

@ewesrnayme

Ilya: “How many did you tape?” shane: 😈 heheheheh 😈

 

@yeyrawhizard

“...Is that pike’s face on the ceiling…” he sounded so tired pls shane i’m crying

 

@gareeeeet

Pranking each other is a love language (source: trust me bro)

 

@fskaterboy

“Oh no… is revenge plan...” ilya you need to RUN

 

@fvckmtl

I can’t believe Canada’s Golden Boy is pulling this shit with the Russian Rage Machine 

 

@haydenpike✅

THAT’S what you wanted all those pictures for???? 

 

@roz81_official✅

My own husband… betraying me… there will be price to pay… watch your back, Shane Hollander…