Rating:

General Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Hockey Players Mic'd Up on the Ice (Game Changers), Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Ilya Rozanov Mic'd Up on the Ice, Shane Hollander Mic'd Up on the Ice, Crack, Autistic Shane Hollander, it's not important here, but it's important to me, Ilya Rozanov is Obsessed With Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Ilya Rozanov is a Little Shit, Hockey Chirping as Flirting, Chirping, Shane Hollander is Trying, Social Media, Twitter

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of Ilya "professional ragebaiter" Rozanov

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-02 Completed: 2026-03-21 Words: 4,398 Chapters: 2/2

Chirping 101 with Ilya Rozanov

Summary

Shane rolls his eyes and spits onto the ice. “Gonna play a clean game, Rozanov?”

Ilya laughs. “Unless you give me reason not to, Hollander.”

“That’s pretty weak.”

“Just like your backhand.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Ilya shakes his head, tutting. “Not good enough, Hollander, sorry. Want to try again?”

Shane huffs. “Don’t have time, gonna be busy kicking your ass.”

Ilya glances at the warm up timer, realizing belatedly that they actually only have a few more minutes. “Alright, fine. I will be expecting better during the game!”

“Expect whatever you want, Rozanov.” Shane pauses. “Except for winning. You’re not getting that.”

“Ooh, good one! Keep ‘em coming!”

-

In which Shane and Ilya are mic'd up during a Voyagers v Centaurs game. They get into a chirp-off. That's is.

Notes

Had this idea at like 10pm last night, wrote it in like an hour, and then ao3 went down so i had to wait. my wife has returned from war though, so here you go!

Chapter 1

It's the first Ottawa-Montreal game since the announcement of their foundation, so of course, they're both mic'd up.

“You ready to get your ass beat, Hollander?” Ilya calls out, grinning during warm ups. 

“Not if we kick your ass first, Rozanov.” Shane replies, skating over. “You mic’ed up already?”

“Da, yes.” Ilya taps to the small microphone that Harris had attached to his jersey just before he got on the ice. “You?”

“Yep.” 

“Want to give social media manager something to post about?” Ilya smirks mischievously. Shane stares at him warily.

“What are you thinking?” Shane starts stretching.

“Chirps?”

“Oh, c’mon. Seriously?”

“What?” Ilya gasps mockingly. “Shane Hollander, is no secret that you are bad at chirping. Maybe I can teach you, yes?”

“Fuck you, Rozanov.”

“Better! Good job!” Ilya reaches over to pat Shane’s helmet. “Swearing is good start! But best chirps are creative. Saying fuck off is not good enough.”

“Alright, asshole, gimme something to work with.” Shane rolls his eyes, for a moment forgetting about the crowd, the cameras, the microphones. Just standing next to his boyfriend, ribbing each other like they do every time they can.

“First lesson in chirping - goal is to make angry, yes? So pick something they are not good at, then say something about that.” Ilya shrugs. “Not hard. Pike is easy target - many things he’s bad at. Bad at hockey, bad at pulling out-”

Shane smacks Ilya on the shoulder, both of them barely feeling it through the pads and gloves. “Leave Hayden out of this, Ilya.”

“What? Is good target, easy to piss off. He’s very sensitive."

“Pick someone else.”

“Ugh, fine, boring.” Ilya blows a raspberry. “I pick you then? You have less things to pick at, but is still easy. Second best player, weak backhand, terrible diet-”

“Oh my god, you’re insufferable.”

“Yes, that is point of chirping.” Ilya grins. “Now do me!”

“Not on the ice, I won’t.” Shane shoots back.

“Ooh, good one! Very fast - you must have been thinking about it!”

“Me? Thinking about you?” Shane rolls his eyes. “Nope.”

“Clever.” Ilya spits on the ice, smiling. “You are good at come-backs, bad at starting. We work on… what is the word? Starting something?”

“Initiative?”

“Yes. We work on initiative.”

“Fine.” Shane rolls his eyes and spits onto the ice. “Gonna play a clean game, Rozanov?”

Ilya laughs. “Unless you give me reason not to, Hollander.”

“That’s pretty weak.”

“Just like your backhand.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Ilya shakes his head, tutting. “Not good enough, Hollander, sorry. Want to try again?”

Shane huffs. “Don’t have time, gonna be busy kicking your ass.”

Ilya glances at the warm up timer, realizing belatedly that they actually only have a few more minutes. “Alright, fine. I will be expecting better during the game!”

“Expect whatever you want, Rozanov.” Shane pauses. “Except for winning. You’re not getting that.”

“Ooh, good one! Keep ‘em coming!”

Shane shakes his head, laughing as he skates back to his team. Ilya grins at his retreating back and turns to his own team. 

-

The game is hard - good players on both sides. Haas scores, Bood assists. Then Shane scores with a Pike assist. 

Ilya gets the puck, skates past Hollander. “Too slow!”

“Faster than you at the All Stars!” Hollander calls back, catching up quickly. 

“Was basically a tie!” Ilya passes the puck to Bood, who passes it to Haas. 

“Sounds like something a sore loser would say!” Hollander catches the puck on his stick as Haas tries to pass it back to Bood, skating past all three of them quickly. He dodges the Centaur defenseman, passing to Pike. 

“Still drafted first!”

Hollander snatches the puck back. “More career points!”

Ilya checks his shoulder, snatching the puck again. “More career goals!”

“Points are more important than goals!” Hollander shouts, taking the puck back. 

“Goals win games!”

“I’ve got three words for you, Rozanov-”

“Yeah?”

“Three. Fucking. Cups!” Shane shoots the puck, grazing past Hayes’ left hand and slamming into the back of the net. 

“Oh fuck off, Hollander!” Ilya calls as he skates over. 

“Thought you said that fuck off was weak, Rozanov.” Hollander is grinning, face flushed from exertion. “Maybe I’m just better than you.”

“Hmm, maybe. Maybe not.” Ilya spits. “Still 2-1. One period left.”

“Better start preparing your presser.” Hollander grins, putting on a truly terrible Russian accent. “Hello, I am Ilya Rozanov, and I lost today. So sad. Is terrible that the Voyageurs are better than me.”

“I do not sound like that.” 

“Yes, you do.” Hollander keeps going. “Shane Hollander is best player in league and I am so sad that I will never be as good as him.”

Ilya laughs, can’t help it. “What? I have never said this! Liar!”

“What? You said it to me the other day?”

“No, I did not!”

“Yes, you did! You came to my mom’s house and said Mama Hollander, your son is better player than me. Is reason we are friends, I am learning how to play hockey from him. Very generous guy to spend his valuable time teaching second-best hockey player.”

“I hate you,” Ilya grins. “People think you are so nice, they look and say, oh, is Canada’s Golden Boy, perfect hockey player! They do not know you are secretly little shit.”

Shane shrugs. “People make assumptions. Not my problem. More fun for me.”

-

After the intermission, Ilya gets re-mic’d and heads to center ice for the face off. 

“Hello, Hollander.” 

“Rozanov.” Shane smirks at him. “Ready to get your ass handed to you?”

“Ooh, confident, I like it. So sad that you will go home crying tonight though.” Ilya grins. “Maybe you can come back to my apartment and cry on my couch, I think I even have sad rabbit food for you to… what is the word? The one that sounds like the tree but is sad?”

“Wallow?”

“Yes, I even have sad rabbit food for you to wallow on couch with.”

Shane laughs. “Hm, maybe I’ll take you up on that - but it’ll be you crying into your cookie dough ice cream, Rozanov. It’ll be fun for me to watch you wallow.”

“Clever,” Ilya spits. “You’ve got more where that came from?”

“I’ve got plenty.”

“Be careful, Hollander!”

Shane looks over his shoulder, confused. “Careful of what?”

“Oh, I thought I smelled smoke from how hard you were thinking of chirps.” Ilya shrugs. Shane laughs, shoving him. 

“Fuck off, asshole.”

“Weak!” Ilya grins. “Try harder!”

“You know what’s crazy, Roz?” Shane starts, already grinning. “They still worship me in Ottawa. Do you ever see the giant poster of me at your home rink and think, damn, can’t even get away from him here?”

Ilya cackles. “Oh, that’s good, Hollander! I think it’s kind that they keep the second-best player’s poster around - like Make-A-Wish for hockey players.”

“I get a discount at Aloras, what do you get? Kicked out?”

“Don’t need a discount, I make more than you!”

Shane opens his mouth to respond, but the puck drops and he lazer-focuses on that instead, snatching it away from Ilya by barely a second, skating off. “Too slow, Rozanov!”

-

kay <3’s centaurs @calikaykay

Getting mic’d up hollzy and rozzy was NOT on my 2018 bingo card but fuck it we ball, this is amazing 

l-> max loves hollzy! @play_it_right

I’m cracking up at roz trying to give hollzy chirping lessons

l-> kay <3’s centaurs @calikaykay

Breaking News: Hollzy isn’t actually bad at chirping! He just only chirps with Rozanov (??)

andy (j.j.’s wife) @jjsfave

Everyone was screaming about PR friendship, but look at these idiots, they are ABSOLUTELY besties, c’mon

[clip of Ilya and Shane chirping at each other during warm-ups, Ilya shoulder checks Shane and Shane laughs]

Jenni (hockey era) @hopeful_aromantic

I’m cracking up, why are they like this?

[clip of Shane and Ilya chirping:
“More career points!”

“More career goals!”

“Points are more important than goals!”

“Goals win games!”

“I’ve got three words for you, Rozanov-”

“Yeah?”

“Three. F*king. Cups!”]

l-> andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

Three words for you Rozanov! THREE. FUCKING. CUPS. hollzy you will always be famous

junie 4 shane @playin_u_2nite

Hollzy’s chirping is so funny - what do you mean he’s talking about how ottawa is his hometown and bragging about the fact that he gets discounts?? 

andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

Real talk, the way Ilya trusts shane to help him with english is so sweet - and the way shane never mocks him for it, literally just offers the words?? They are besties your honor

l-> tessa @hollanovtruther

They are more than besties your honor!

l-> andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

.. not now, twitter user hollanovtruther

Lilah is ✨famous✨ @freakier_than

Their dynamic is so funny oh mygod. Petition to have them Always Mic’d Up plssss

justin rhymes with boston @dreaming_days

Hollander doing a terrible russian accent to mock rozanov is so funny , i’m sorry shane baby that sounds nothing like him

Davíd 🏒@hockey_hater213

My husband is cracking up at the clips of the hollander-rozanov chirp off, i’m busy dying at the fact that they are both playing their asses off and STILL being hilarious on mic. 

💐 MARIA 💐 @daylightstar

I will never be ok about these two i fear… they are unfortunately too fucking funny

Rami @holeander

Cackling, their dynamic is so funny. “I make more than you” is a crazy chirp, rozzy lmao

-

Ottawa wins it 3-2 with a goal from Bood, and then a last second goal from Rozanov. Ilya grins victoriously at Shane as the other Centaurs circle the goal to cheer. 

“Hollander!” He calls over, making Shane skate to him. “Guess you will be eating sad rabbit food on couch tonight!”

Shane rolls his eyes. “Good game, Rozanov!” He waves and skates off ice, chatting with Hayden. Ilya chuckles, high-fiving Haasy and hugging Bood.

-

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @official_roz81
I am better chirper and better player than @hollander24_official so he eat sad food on couch
[blurry picture of Shane sitting on a couch with a plate of grilled fish, rice, and vegetables, glaring at the person taking the picture]

l-> Shane Hollander ✅ @hollander24_official
Fuck off, Rozanov

l-> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @official_roz81
Weak chirp boo tomato tomato 🍅🍅

l-> Shane Hollander ✅ @hollander24_official
Who the fuck is teaching you these things???

Chapter 2

Chapter Summary

the boys get mic'd up again

After the “success” (cough, cough - money-making virality - cough, cough) of their first Mic’d Up game together, they’d been asked to do it again. Ilya had agreed excitedly, Shane slightly less enthusiastically. 

Shane is the one who approaches Ilya during warm ups this time.

“Gonna play a clean game, Rozanov?” He says, trying not to smile. 

“Unless you give me reason not to, Hollander.” Ilya returns, recalling their exchange the last time they had played together. “Are you going to cheat today?”

Shane glares at Ilya. “I am not going to fucking cheat at hockey.”

Ilya smirks smugly. “Ah, so you will cheat at other things?”

Shane rolls his eyes. “Jesus Christ, I’m not having this argument again.” Shane starts to skate away, but Ilya shouts after him.

“Coward!”

Shane spins around, already red in the face. “Coward?! You won’t shut up about this! Every fucking day for the past week-”

Ilya crosses his arms. “Cheaters don’t get peace, Hollander.”

“I didn’t fucking CHEAT, oh my god.”

“Tell that to my eyes that saw you cheating.”

“I was not cheating, I was exchanging my 20s for a 100!”

“You took money from bank!”

“I exchanged my smaller bills for a larger bill, it’s not cheating.”

“So you admit that you took money from bank!”

“I didn’t steal the money, oh my fucking god, Rozanov. It’s exchanging! I had too many 20s! The amount of money in my hand and in the bank didn’t change!”

“Sounds like cheating.”

“Oh fuck you, I’m not having this conversation with an actual cheater.”

“I do not cheat!”

“Stacking is against the rules of Uno!”

“Boring rules, I don’t need to follow!”

“So you admit that you were breaking the rules!”

“Boring rules! Uno is supposed to be fun!”

“Uno is fun, when you follow the fucking rules.”

Hayden skates over. “Are you seriously having this argument again? Guys. Please. I’m so tired of hearing about this!”

Ilya shoots a look at Hayden. “Then go away, Pike, we don’t need your impush!”

“Imput.” Shane corrects. 

“That’s what I said!” 

Hayden throws his arms in the air. “The twins don’t argue as much as you two do! Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry, Hayd.” Shane winces. “Somebody is still being a sore loser.”

“Am not sore loser! I am a winner! You cheated!”

“I did not fucking CHEAT! You’re just mad you lost!”

“I’m going to kill you, Hollander.”

Shane gets closer to Ilya, eyes sharp. “I fucking dare you to try, Rozanov.”

“I’m walking away from this conversation!” Hayden calls, skating back to the bench.

“Have fun losing again!” Shane shoves Ilya’s shoulder and skates away. 

“I hate you, Hollander!”

“Hate you more, Rozanov!”

-

kay <3’s centaurs @calikaykay

‼️HOLLZY AND ROZ ARE MIC’D UP AGAIN ‼️THIS IS NOT A DRILL ‼️

l-> max loves hollzy! @play_it_right

I’m dying what the fuck are they even arguing about???

l-> kay <3’s centaurs @calikaykay

I think that they?? Were playing monopoly (???) And apparently roz thinks that hollzy was cheating??

andy (j.j.’s wife) @jjsfave

I’m crying these two are so funny… bringing your game night arguments onto the ice is crazy, boys, i NEEEEEED you to lock in!!

andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

Pike getting involved and then immediately leaving is so real actually. He really said, i gotta stop them from committing murder,... nvm y’all go at it, imma gtfo of here before i get caught in the crossfire

-

They both skate to center ice for the face-off.

Shane is in Hockey Mode, focused. 

Ilya… is in chaos mode. Shane is pretty sure he has no other modes. He has exactly two settings on the ice and they’re Asshole™️and Chaos Gremlin™️. Tonight, the switch seems to be flipped to Chaos Gremlin™️.

“Hey, Hollander.”

Shane doesn’t respond.

“Hollander!”

Shane doesn’t even glance his way, a smirk on his face.

“You are ignoring me? Very rude!”

Shane huffs, but still doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to give Ilya the satisfaction of getting under his skin. Not after what happened last time. 

“You know who wasn’t ignoring me last night?”

Shane glances up at him, remembering exactly what happened last night, fear already flooding his bones as his eyes shift from Ilya’s face to the microphone on his jersey.

Ilya leans in closer. 

Grins. 

And whispers, “your mom.”

Shane glares at him, face turning red. “Motherfucker-”

Ilya leans back and laughs, bright and loud. “Yes, is what we were doing last night!”

“I’m going to kill you-”

The puck drops. Ilya catches it and shoots it to Barrett. Shane flies across the ice after it, more mad about the fact that Ilya’s stupid distraction joke worked. 

-

Jenni (hockey era) @hopeful_aromantic

Not ROZANOV bringing YO MAMA JOKES to the FACEOFF!?!?!

l-> andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

“Motherfucker!” “Yes that is what we were doing last night” roz i need you to find a SINGLE SERIOUS BONE IN YOUR BODY

junie 4 roz @playin_u_2nite

Me when i’m at the "rage-baiting hollander" competition and my competitor is ILYA MOTHINGFUCKING ROZANOV

[picture of Shane death-glaring Ilya]

Kier ✨ @gettapuck

I will never be normal about these two i fear…

-

After the first period, Montreal is up by 2 with Ottawa only having 1 on the board, and Ilya decides it’s time to be annoying. Again. He skates over to where Shane is grabbing his water bottle. 

“Is not fair, I am working so hard, Hollander!” Ilya groans. “Everyone else is leaving me to get dry-”

“Hanging you out to dry.” Shane corrects absently, taking a drink.

“Yes, yes, they are hanging out while I get dry, whatever-”

“No, that’s-” Shane frowns, then shakes his head and laughs softly. “Yeah, okay.”

“I am working like single mother!” Ilya huffs, ignoring Shane. “Working like that one Rebecca MacIntosh song!”

Shane stares at Ilya like he has two heads. “What?”

“You know! A single mom who works two jobs-”

Shane shakes his head. “Jesus, Rozanov, that’s Reba McEntire.”

Ilya doesn’t acknowledge the correction. “Who loves her kids and blahblahblah-” He adlibs, clearly forgetting the words.

“Who loves her kids and never stops.” Shane corrects, a confused but entertained smile on his face.

“With jeaned-up hands and a heart that’s on fire-”

“What?” Shane nearly falls flat on his ass from how hard he laughs, startling even himself, grabbing the wall to keep himself upright. “What the fuck does that even mean, Ilya?”

“I am a spiiiider-” He flubs his way through the rest of the chorus, skating in small circles around Shane, before - thankfully - stopping to grin at Shane.

“... I don’t think- ha, that you know the words to that song.” Shane is fully cackling now, Ilya grinning smugly at him.

Ilya just laughs with him.“I can’t believe I finally found song that Shane Hollander knows! You never know songs I sing!” 

Shane rolls his eyes, still grinning. “That’s because you have fucking awful taste in music. And of course I know Reba fuckin’ McEntire. She’s, like, my dad’s favorite… Oh goddamit, did my dad show you that fucking song!?”

“Yes! David has great taste.” Ilya winks. 

“Asshole,” Shane smacks him in the shoulder, still laughing. “I hate you so fucking much.”

Ilya cackles like a maniac and skates back to his bench. “Hate you more, Hollander!”

-

andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

They have game nights, ilya is besties with shane’s dad,,, oh the bestieism is REAL with these two…

l-> tessa @hollanovtruther

… i have something to say,,,

l-> andrea (drea’s version) @shanetheicon_

… not now twitter user hollanovtruther… not now…

l-> tessa @hollanovtruther

IF NOT NOW THEN WHEN, ANDREA !?!? W H E N !?!? WHEN!?!! ?! WHEN WILL YOU ALLOW ME TO SPEAK MY TRUTH!?!

Lilah is ✨famous✨ @freakier_than

Ilya not knowing the words to the song… just making them up… jeaned-up hands…  i am a spider… oh rozanov you will always be famous..

justin rhymes with boston @dreaming_days

It’s so funny to me how rarely we get to hear shane curse, even in other mic’d up events. Compared to this one, where he is CUSSING up a STORM. Rozzy truly brings out the worst in him and i love it

-

“Going to finally get off your ass and play, Shaney?” Ilya greets, subtly looking over Shane for any signs of injury after a hard check in the second period. He looks fine, but will probably have a nasty bruise tomorrow.

Shane huffs. “Fuck off, asshole. Don’t call me that.”

“You always call me mean names, is so rude!” Ilya gasps. “Is always fuck off, Rozanov, you’re such an asshole- ugh Rozanov you are asshole and I hate you- you are annoying asshole, Rozanov- you are terrible friend, Hollander!”

“Shut up.” Shane rolls his eyes. “I’m very nice to you.”

“No! You’re so mean! Bully!”

“You’re so dramatic, Jesus Christ.” Shane spits onto the ice.

-

Adriana 💫 @starstuddedplay

Shane apparently CONSTANTLY calling ilya an asshole despite the fact that shane has cursed exactly like 12 times on mic over the past ten years… oh our media trained boy has been hiding a potty mouth,,,,

Jack @jackinov

“Finally going to get off your ass and play” to a man who has already scored two goals and then got checked into the boards really hard- rozanov you are insane and i love you.

🏆 kade 🏆 @hockeywho

Ilya calling shane “SHANEY”... girl i need to STUDY HIM like a BUG

-

“You suck, Rozanov!” Shane shoots off as Ilya snatches the puck from his stick.

“And you swallow, Hollander!” Ilya retorts, grinning as he passes to Haas.  

Shane chokes, glaring at Ilya. “Fuck off, you fucking asshole-”

“Ah, see! Terrible friend!” Ilya snatches the puck back from Haas.

Shane tries to steal it. “I hate you!”

Ilya dodges, soaring down the ice. “You love me! I’m your best friend!”

Shane catches up, stealing the puck and shooting down the other direction. “Hayden is my best friend, you are the bane of my existence!”

Ilya gasps, affronted, already catching up, trying to snatch the puck back. “What? Pike is higher on friend list?”

“Yep!” Shane grins, dodging him and shooting the puck towards the net.

Hayes is just slightly too far to the left to block it - goal! 

-

Davíd 🏒@hockey_hater213
HOLLANDER SCORES 3RD GOAL TONIGHT, HAT TRICK HOLLANDER IS BACK!!!

💐 MARIA 💐 @daylightstar
Rozanov getting upset that apparently Pike is higher on Hollander’s List of Friends was NOT on my bingo card but it IS hilarious, so-

Rami @holeander
The way i’m cackling at my screen bc of two grown ass men arguing about best friend rankings like they’re in elementary school WHILE SKATING AT 15 MPH and PLAYING HOCKEY… i will unfortunately never be normal about them.

-

“What game is next?” Ilya asks as they wait for the Zambonis to clear the ice during intermission. They hadn’t gotten de-mic’d yet, so they’re just sitting at the bench waiting for the PA to come over and take their mics. 

“For game night?” Shane asks, taking another swig of water. “I think it’s Scrabble.”

Ilya frowns. “No, we played Scrabble last week, we play cards this week.”

“No? We played Monopoly last week, so Scrabble is next.” Shane’s brows furrow as he double checks his mental schedule. “Yeah, because it’s Yatzee, Uno, Monopoly, Scrabble, then cards. This upcoming week is Scrabble, and then the week after it’s cards.”

Ilya huffs. “Damn. I was going to teach you Mongolian Rummy.”

“How different is Mongolian Rummy from normal Rummy?”

Ilya shrugs. “Pretty different. New rules, different number of cards… I think you’d like it. Lots of boring rules.”

Shane laughs. “Noted. We’ll play Mongolian Rummy after Scrabble.”

“Fiiiiiine.” Ilya grumbles. The PA - Trevor - comes over to take their mics. They head to their separate locker rooms for their strategy sessions.

-

Josh @joshyhockey

Shane having their game night rotation memorized, that’s so on brand for him.

🌞 rhema 🌞 @rozzyhore

They have WEEKLY GAME NIGHTS!?!?! Y’all i am NOT OKAY

Theo @scrabble_enthusist

SCRABBLE MENTION!!!! FUCK YEAH SCRABBLE MENTION!!!

l-> andy (j.j.’s wife) @jjsfave

Username checks out ✅✅

-

“Hey, Rozanov.” Shane says as they settle in for the face off.

“What, Hollander?” Ilya’s eyes light up at Shane initiating the chirp-off.

“If I’m ranking my friends, you’re number three.”

Ilya blinks, and then scowls. “Who the hell is number two?”

Shane shrugs, a smirk settling on his lips. “Rose. It goes Hayd, Rose, then you-”

“Fuck off, Rose can’t be number two!”

Shane tilts his head. “Actually… you know what, you might be fourth.”

“What the fuck, Shane? Who the hell is above me?”

Shane grins and winks. “Svetlana and I have been talking a lot recently-”

“Sveta is not allowed to be your best friend, Sveta is MY best friend!"

Shane laughs, “Too late!”

The puck drops.

Shane gets it.

-

🌈  cj 🌈 @hokeypokey

NOT SHANE RANKING ROSE LANDRY AS NUMBER 2 ON HIS BEST FRIENDS LIST

[lia #24] @hollzywho

Hollzy’s bestie list being

1. Hayden Pike (rookie year bestie)
2. Rose Landry (movie star ex girlfriend)
3. Svetlana Vetrova (charity cofounder/bestie/rival’s childhood bestie/ex-girlfriend)
4. ILYA ROZANOV (charity cofounder/bestie/rival)

is truly iconic

shuaiba @lovehockey

Ilya’s reaction is so priceless - 🤬 wtf do you MEAN sveta is YOUR best friend, 🤬 she can’t be YOUR best friend, 🤬 she’s MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!! 🤬

-

“Hey, Hollander-” Ilya says as they skate to the side, avoiding a fight between Comeau and Dillon that had quickly involved everyone else on the teams. “I was talking to your mom yesterday-”

“You called my mom yesterday?” Shane blinks. 

“Yes, yes, I was asking for her matcha cookie recipe - not the point, anyway-” Ilya waves him off. “You know what she said to me?”

Shane can already sense where this is going. “What did she say?”

“She told me oh, Ilya, you sweet boy, you are so kind to me! You call me just to talk, not like my terrible other son who never calls me-”

Shane looks affronted at this and glares at Ilya. “Okay, that’s just demonstrably false!”

Ilya turns and looks at him like he’s grown two heads. “What?”

“I call my mom-”

“No, no, whatever, yeah, what the fuck was that word?”

“False?”

“What? No, I know what the fuck false means, I’ve been speaking English for ten years, fuck you. What the fuck is the other word?”

“Demonstrably?”

“Yes! What the fuck is that?”

“Like, I can prove something, like I can demonstrate something. So demonstrably false means I can prove something is fake or untrue.”

“Well, I can duh-monster-ably prove that I’m a better son than you.”

“Fuck off, Rozanov.” Shane rolls his eyes, trying not to smile.

-

H <24 @hollzyhatty

Their teams: bloodbath, fighting, teeth on the ice

(off to the side)

Roz: btw i’m your mom’s favorite son

Hollz: no the fuck you’re not???

rozzy’s wife 🏆@playboyroz

Not roz calling hollander’s mom for her matcha cookie recipe??? I can’t with them, omggggg

lane @beenechoed

Guys- hey guys- hey, boys- fellas, your teams are fighting rn- y’all gonna do anything about that orrrrr??

Sayl @sh24fan

I was so prepared for roz to make ANOTHER “i fucked your mom joke” and then I got blindsided by “your mom likes me more than you” - never change roz,,,, never change

-

The game ends with 4-3 for Montreal. Shane skates over to Ilya as they get off the ice and cocks a smirk at him. 

“Good game, Rozanov.”

Ilya huffs. “Always a good game with you, Hollander. You pick dinner, yes?”

“Yup.” Shane grins. “I was thinking salad, maybe some grilled salmon-”

Ilya groans. “Oh come oh, Hollander! I already lost, you don’t have to kill me-”

“It’s healthy!”

“It’s boring!”

“I won, I pick dinner, those are the rules!”

“Ugh, you suck, Hollander.”

Shane’s eyes brighten and he waves as he skates off, shouting over his shoulder, “and you swallow, Rozanov!”

-

Shane Hollander ✅ @hollander24_official

He’s a sore loser at Monopoly AND hockey @official_roz81

[selfie of Ilya scowling at a Monopoly board, a bunch of visibly mortgaged properties in front of him, Shane grinning in the foreground]

[picture of Ilya sitting at the same table and flipping off the camera, a plate of pasta in front of him]

l-> Ilya Rozanov ✅ @official_roz81

I still think you cheated 😒😒😒

l-> Shane Hollander ✅ @hollander24_official

Sucks to suck, loser 🤷🤷