Preface

Incompletely Straight Forward Skillets
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/92132491.

Rating:
Not Rated
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories:
F/M, M/M, Multi
Fandom:
Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
Relationships:
Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike, Shane Hollander & Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Ensemble & Jackie Pike, Connors/Sorren "Mitty" Miitka
Characters:
Original Female Character(s), Jackie Pike, Hayden Pike, Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Anya | Ilya Rozanov's Dog, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Ensemble (Game Changers), Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais, Connors (Heated Rivalry), Sorren "Mitty" Miitka
Additional Tags:
Author Is Sleep Deprived, WAG Ilya Rozanov, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros WAGs Group Chat (Game Changers), Crack Treated Seriously, probably, so many OCs but I have one character to work with in canon, Autistic Shane Hollander, Canon Autistic Character, Supportive Jackie Pike, Good Friend Jackie Pike, Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Ilya Rozanov Gets A Hug, Good Friend Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Lily Beanz Verse
Stats:
Published: 2026-09-06 Updated: 2026-10-26 Words: 10,727 Chapters: 12/?

Incompletely Straight Forward Skillets

by ViceVirsaSabled

Summary

Ilya gets added to the Metros WAG chat. That is not the only thing that goes awry.

Notes

first attempt at a wag chat fic (which i love and need more of).
this takes place while ilya is still in boston. probably somewhere early 2017. he will probably remain a bear the entirety of this fic---maybe---it is not planned out so no way to know.

there will be a twist.

and a secret wound in.

find it.

See the end of the work for more notes

Chapter 1: This Circus is Entirely Too Familiar

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

received:

sent by: Jackie

Behave ladies

received:

We have a newbie

received:

sent by: Camile

WHOOOOOOOOOOOO

received:

FRESH MEAT

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Ali

Cami

received:

She said behave.

received:

sent by: Camile

🙁

note:

Jackie has added a number (xxx-xxxx-xxxx)

received:

sent by: Jackie

Heey girl, Sorry to jump u

received:

Im Jackie

received:

The boys took your # from Shane’s phone

received:

sent by: Connie

Heeeeeeyyyy girl

received:

sent by: Sophia

‘ello

received:

I never thought wed get a hollander wag u no

received:

U’ll like it here

received:

I hope

received:

sent by: Nova

FRESH MEAT

received:

FRESH MEAT

received:

FRESH MEAT

received:

sent by: Jackie

what did i say

received:

sent by: Nova

Behave :(

received:

But i dont wanna :((((((((((((

received:

sent by: Dora

hey girl

received:

Welcome tot he chaos

received:

*to the

sent:

sent by: Lily

Oh helo

sent:

Why am i here

received:

sent by: Jackie

lol, this is the Metros WAG chat

sent:

sent by: Lily

Oh.

sent:

thats what this is

sent:

Did hollander give my number?

received:

sent by: Georgia

U call him by his last name?

received:

Also hi, but who does that

sent:

sent by: Lily

Yes.

received:

sent by: Connie

is that like a sex thing

received:

sent by: Ellie

CONNIE

received:

U CANT ASK THAT

received:

DONT SCARE HER OFF

sent:

sent by: Lily

haha

sent:

I dont care.

sent:

is funny

sent:

hollander would murder me if i answer tho

sent:

u will not scare me off )

received:

sent by: Audrey

But like not really though, right?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Lol no he would probably not

sent:

So wat are all you wonderful ladies names?

sent:

So i can make contacts

sent:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Jackie

Oh we forgot introductions!

received:

sent by: Collin

Oh shit right

received:

sent by: Connie

Dont mind collin

received:

She swears a lot

received:

Also im Connie, with Miitka

received:

sent by: Collin

Hey u stole my intro!

received:

sent by: Connie

sorry not sorry

received:

sent by: Collin

well ANYWAY 👀

received:

Im collin

received:

J.J is my boyfriend for the moment

sent:

sent by: Lily

For the moment?

received:

sent by: Collin

he didn’t put up te dishes he used when we had dinner yesterday

sent:

sent by: Lily

I will get my shanya to smack him

received:

sent by: Ali

your shanya?

received:

Thats stupid cute omfg

sent:

sent by: Lily

Do not tell him i say it

sent:

Spooks like baby dear

sent:

Little kitten

sent:

Pomidor

received:

sent by: Jackie

anyway, I am married to the wonderful hayden pike

sent:

sent by: Lily

Ugh pike

received:

sent by: Jackie

what did hayd do?

sent:

sent by: Lily

:(

received:

sent by: Ali

fair

received:

He could be better

received:

sent by: Jackie

*le gasp* betrayal of the highest

received:

Whatrs the word

received:

sent by: Collin

Caliber

received:

sent by: Jackie

THATS THE BITCH

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Sophia

ANYWAY

received:

U cowards are getting distracted again

received:

sent by: Connie

Hey!

received:

Fuck u :)

received:

sent by: Collin

oh, so I swear a lot?

received:

sent by: Sophia

I had the pleasure of a 3rd date with Renaud

received:

and got added here

received:

I is sophia :)

received:

sent by: Dora

I am the beloved Dora the Explora lol

received:

But no seriously my name is dora

sent:

sent by: Lily

Wtf is dora the explora and why have inever heard of this?

received:

sent by: Camile

as nova said before

received:

FRESH MEAT YAY

received:

But also hi im camile or sometimes cami.

received:

I have been called carrot too.

received:

Idc

received:

Literally wtvr

received:

sent by: Nova

finally i am no longer the newbie

received:

Im nova btw.

received:

My bitch is gagnon

sent:

sent by: Lily

Is he as bad in bed as they say?

received:

sent by: Connie

I like her

received:

We’re keeping her

received:

sent by: Ali

haha yes do answer

received:

Connie has been asking forever

received:

sent by: Sophia

Omg im stealing her

received:

She’s mine now bitches

received:

:)

sent:

sent by: Lily

Sorry

received:

But no

received:

Shanya does not share

received:

Neither do i

received:

sent by: Nova

haha lol

received:

No, he’s not that bad

received:

U guys suck 😂

sent:

sent by: Lily

Yes

sent:

Yes we do

received:

sent by: Audrey

girl its not fair

received:

sent by: Collin

why didnt we get her sooner

received:

sent by: Audrey

Save some funny for us!

received:

But im aubdrey.

received:

*audrey

received:

The other number is brooke but she is hardly ever on

received:

Oh and georgia. She works late

received:

sent by: Connie

i bet shes asleep rn

received:

Prob

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Collin

we’re gonna find out

received:

@georgia

received:

Wake up bitch

received:

Georgia

received:

georggggiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

received:

sent by: Georgia

WHAT

received:

sent by: Nova

theres fresh meat

received:

sent by: Georgia

what does this have to do with me?

received:

I see no drama

sent:

sent by: Lily

Hi

received:

sent by: Georgia

OH SHIT

received:

I MISSED SOMEONE?

sent:

sent by: Lily

No

sent:

Apparently i am newbie

received:

sent by: Georgia

why did nobody get me

received:

sent by: Collin

connie did

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Connie

i did

received:

Suck it

received:

sent by: Georgia

o fuck u

received:

And fuck off

received:

Im going back to sleep

received:

sent by: Collin

come back less grumpy pls 🙂 🙏

received:

sent by: Georgia

🫵 🖕😘

received:

sent by: Collin

lol fuck u 2

sent:

sent by: Lily

What is going on

received:

sent by: Sophia

if only we knew

Chapter 2: Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls

Chapter Notes

I have a present for u alll.. aka a hint

Look in the names.

But also hi, an update has arrived. Enjoy!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

sent by:

1:35 AM

received:

sent by: Audrey

Girls

received:

Whos awake rn

received:

sent by: Collin

bitch its 1 am

received:

sent by: Sophia

why is u awake

received:

Dude

sent:

sent by: Lily

Me

sent:

Annoying

received:

sent by: Audrey

sorry lol

received:

sent by: Audrey

Im at a club with some friends and im just standing here

received:

Guess what happens

received:

sent by: Sophia

who needs to die

received:

sent by: Jackie

no killing soph, im going back to sleep, hayd finally drifted off

received:

I better come back to no murder plots

received:

Deal?

received:

sent by: Sophia

deal 🙁

received:

sent by: Audrey

i got hit on

received:

With the shittiest pick up line

received:

But like…

received:

I totally laughed

sent:

sent by: Lily

I am awake now

sent:

What he say

received:

sent by: Audrey

No actually it came from a girl

sent:

sent by: Lily

Oh

sent:

And you did not freak out?

received:

sent by: Audrey

no girl

received:

Ofc not

received:

Why would i

sent:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Sophia

before u send that

received:

If i see a single slur

received:

I will personally smakc u

received:

When we meet

received:

nuderstood?

received:

sent by: Connie

🤣

received:

Nuderstood soph?

received:

sent by: Sophia

fuck u

received:

*understood?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Yes yes

sent:

I would never

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

That was strong reaction

received:

sent by: Sophia

i have tRaUmA

sent:

sent by: Lily

typing indicator...

sent:

I get the knife sharpener

received:

sent by: Audrey

annoyingly jackie doesnt liek us threatening people

received:

sent by: Collin

what she doesnt see wont kill her

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Jackie

i see everything.

sent:

sent by: Lily

Wow

sent:

ScArY

sent:

))))

received:

sent by: Collin

🙁

received:

Wtvr

received:

Im going back to bed

received:

Night bitches

received:

sent by: Audrey

night

received:

sent by: Audrey

I will make this easier

received:

typing indicator...

received:

brb

contact name: midnight club

note:

4:52 AM

note:

Audrey has added a contact (Sofa)

note:

Audrey has added a contact (Lily Bean)

received:

sent by: Audrey

there

received:

Now we wont bother them

received:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

Why my name that

received:

sent by: Sophia

I regret that u can make custom names for us

received:

sent by: Audrey

haha bitch u cnat stop me

received:

cant*

sent:

sent by: Lily

So who needs to die

sent:

Was she at least nice

received:

sent by: Audrey

Yes

sent:

sent by: Lily

Why is sophia a furniture

received:

sent by: Sophia

u dont know the half of it 🤣

received:

Its not the only furniture ive been.

received:

There was a couch 2

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Wait

received:

Audrey u never told us what she said

received:

sent by: Audrey

🤣😂

received:

Fine fine

received:

She said

received:

And i quote

received:

“Ur so hot i could cook eggs on you titties” 😅

sent:

sent by: Lily

HAHAHA

sent:

WHY

received:

sent by: Sophia

i know i shouldnt have laughed but 👀

received:

don't cancel me

sent:

sent by: Lily

I need to has this said to me

received:

sent by: Audrey

have*

sent:

sent by: Lily

🖕

sent:

Shut up i am tird

sent:

Tired

sent:

))))

sent:

I go back to bed bow

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

10:09 am

received:

sent by: Audrey

okay ladies

received:

Now that its an acceptable time to be awake

received:

(I can here the sarcasm connie)

received:

sent by: Connie

hear :)

received:

sent by: Nova

ugh

sent:

sent by: Lily

((((

sent:

Same

sent:

I have no sleep

received:

sent by: Audrey

sorry gurl

sent:

sent by: Lily

I thought was gIrl not gurl

received:

sent by: Collin

haha lol, yes girl it is

received:

This bitch failed spelling in second grade

received:

sent by: Audrey

IT WAS ONE TIME

received:

and i told you that in confidence

received:

sent by: Collin

shit my bad

received:

sent by: Nova

ANYWAY

received:

gurls

received:

Audrey prob was gonna say sowmthing else

received:

sent by: Audrey

thank u nova

received:

Yes i was in fact gonna

received:

so AHEM ladies

received:

Whats the worst pick up line youve had used?

sent:

sent by: Lily

This should be interesting

sent:

will probably end in murder ))

received:

sent by: Jackie

no

received:

Bad lily

sent:

sent by: Lily

☹️

received:

sent by: Connie

im back what did i miss

received:

Oh

received:

Damn it yall are supposed to get me when thjngs happen

received:

Oh georgia will want to be here for this

received:

@georgia !!

received:

Gossip is heeeeere

received:

sent by: Georgia

what

received:

OH YAY

received:

sent by: Nova

the adhd is strong witg this one

received:

sent by: Georgia

sxrew u

received:

Screw*

received:

sent by: Nova

love u to gurl

received:

sent by: Collin

“hey, are u a tempered glass container because i wanna put a hot load in u”

received:

sent by: Georgia

ew what the actaul fuck

received:

sent by: Connie

wheres the eye bleach

received:

I need it

sent:

sent by: Lily

me two

sent:

and a hot iron okhrenet' prosto

received:

sent by: Sophia

ew why am i awake

received:

Oh shit whatd i miss

received:

ugh ew wtf

received:

Yalls is a lot worse than mine

received:

sent by: Ellie

what was urs

received:

sent by: Nova

ELLIE UR HERE

received:

sent by: Ellie

yes. I was oBsErViNg

received:

sent by: Sophia

just the tenesee ten i see one

received:

sent by: Jackie

*le sigh* ill get the knives.

received:

sent by: Collin

OMG we converted her to the violent side

received:

sent by: Jackie

Also mine was ‘call me a soda the way im popping off’

sent:

sent by: Lily

HA

sent:

okie who was this. was little funny

received:

sent by: Jackie

it was hayd

received:

But to be fair

received:

I asked him for a picm up line after i was dared to talk tk him

received:

*pick

received:

Ugh i hate my keyboard

sent:

sent by: Lily

I am like a blue collar worker about to do some hard work with how i need you to spit on me

received:

sent by: Nova

what.

sent:

That is my worse one

received:

sent by: Connie

worst?

sent:

sent by: Lily

yes Typo.

received:

sent by: Connie

right.

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

Never mind

Chapter End Notes

HEKNOWSHEKNOWSHEKNOWS

Chapter 3: Knock, Knock. Who's There? ✨️ TrAuMa ✨️

Chapter Summary

someones gotta suffer a teeny tiny bit, right?

Chapter Notes

so i meant to credit the dude responsible for the pick up lines last chap. so kudos to dispydotjpeg.
we got some angst now! however i suck at is so 👀 shhhhh u dont see it.
also god i feel bad for ali but like... it was her or collin and no. collin is becoming my fav :)

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

12:58 PM

received:

sent by: Ali

…heys guys

received:

Can u talk to me for a bit

received:

sent by: Ellie

whatss up?

received:

sent by: Jackie

sure

received:

How ya doin?

received:

sent by: Ali

i dont know yet.

received:

Im scared

sent:

sent by: Lily

I am here now

sent:

My phone blows up

sent:

Oh

sent:

What happened

received:

sent by: Collin

shit

received:

It’s not back right?

received:

sent by: Connie

i see collin has brought out the grammar

received:

What up

received:

Wait fuck i missed something didnt i

received:

sent by: Ali

i need a distraction.

received:

Im at the oncologists for a check up

received:

Waiting for my results.

received:

The doctor made a face

received:

sent by: Jackie

oh fuck

sent:

sent by: Lily

Hold on

sent:

I have to look up that word

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Oh no

received:

sent by: Connie

…oof?

received:

I dont know how to help

received:

sent by: Ellie

did they find something?

received:

sent by: Ali

maybe

received:

I dont know

received:

Ive been nauseated a week or two

received:

Maybe 3 but i thought i was just sick.

received:

101 fever as of 3 days ago.

received:

sent by: Collin

shit, u sure ur not just sick?

received:

sent by: Ali

it could be

received:

Doctor said most likely

received:

But…

received:

I weigh myself twice a week and i went down 3lbs

received:

I had a check up anyway and there doing scans

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

I am a little confused

received:

sent by: Collin

do you wanna share with her or no?

received:

I can also tell her privately if you would rather

received:

sent by: Ali

okay

contact name: Collin

note:

1:03 PM

received:

hey.

sent:

Okie

sent:

Oncologist

sent:

Google says cancer doctor, yes?

received:

Yeah,

received:

Jesus i feel so bad for her.

received:

A few years ago she fought lymphoma

received:

I cant remember the specific diagnosis but something that sounded like mantis i think

received:

Maybe some other bug

received:

She won, obvii

received:

That was before she met berkes and they go together

received:

got*

received:

But the relapse percent i s higher for whatever she had than some other cancers

received:

Those can happen any time throughout life after

sent:

What does that mean again?

sent:

Relapse?

received:

Oh, right

received:

Sorry

received:

Relapse is like… when something comes back later on after a period of time

sent:

I thought period was this .

received:

It is.

received:

Wait

received:

…

received:

English isn’t your first language is it

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Fuck

received:

Its okay, i wont tell if u dont wnat me to

received:

Back to the topic

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Relapses can happen anytime so ali has to get check ups every however often

received:

And she’s been experiencing what google tells me are te symptoms again

received:

So her oncologist is running tests to see if it is a relapse

received:

Might not be

received:

But it could be and thats the problem

sent:

Oh

sent:

Thats bad

sent:

Yes?

received:

Yeah

received:

We dont want that to happen.

received:

God i hope it isnt one

received:

From what i know and what shes told me she barely survived last time

received:

Thats why her hair is short, for when you meet her

sent:

Can she not grow her hair back?

received:

No she can, but the radiation therapy

received:

Or maybe chemo?

received:

Damaged her hair growth thingies and so it grows slower and so she just keeps it short

received:

Says she doesnt want to suffer with the awkward phase of growing it out for longer

sent:

ah.

sent:

Thank you for telling me

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

1: 13 PM

note:

30+ Missed Messages

received:

sent by: Ellie

did you see coulliard ate shit on the ice the other day?

sent:

sent by: Lily

I understand better now

sent:

Ooh yes i see this

received:

sent by: Ali

i did in fact see that

sent:

sent by: Lily

I laughed my ass of

received:

sent by: Connie

are u a dog or cat person ali

received:

I must know

received:

sent by: Ali

uhhh

received:

Prob caat person

received:

*cat

received:

sent by: Connie

cool cool

received:

U have betrayed me but i will deal with that later

sent:

sent by: Lily

DOG

sent:

I AM DOG POERSON

sent:

DOGS ARE THE BEST!!!

received:

sent by: Jackie

u knwo what im not surprised

received:

received:

cat

received:

sent by: Ali

haha lol

received:

Thats great

received:

Im gonna keep that

sent:

sent by: Lily

Why he punch himself

sent:

(((

received:

sent by: Ali

OH SHIT THE DOCTORS BACK

received:

WISH ME LUCK

sent:

sent by: Lily

WHY HE PUNCH HIMSELF?!

received:

typing indicator...

sent:

HELLO?

contact name: Te Bear 🧙 Project

note:

1:24 PM

received:

sent by: Sebbin

Guys

received:

Carmy

received:

Dude

received:

Ur at dunkin right

received:

sent by: Carmichael

sigh

received:

Yes

received:

sent by: Feller

there is no way u just said sigh

received:

Christ

received:

sent by: Marlow

grab me something to pls

received:

I dont even care what

received:

Also dont you dare say it seb

received:

i can here the gears turnign in ur tiny ass brain

received:

sent by: Sebbin

:(

received:

but i waaaaaanna

received:

sent by: Connors

: i still vote we should get this bitch drug tested

received:

Theres no way he aint high rn

received:

sent by: Sebbin

🙁

received:

But its soooooo cool

received:

sent by: St-Simon

no more GODDAMN FIDGET SPINNERS

received:

I am so fucking done

received:

i stepped on one of those suckers at prective yesterday

received:

sent by: Carmichael

fine what do u bitches want

received:

sent by: Connors:

a fucking cat :(

received:

sent by: Feller

Old man st simon is back again

received:

sent by: Connors

I sent a pic of one to some friends and now i wanna pet my sisters cat mila

received:

She lives two hrs away tho

sent:

sent by: Ilya

…a cat?

received:

sent by: Connors

yes. and?

received:

i dont care that u like dogs better

received:

Im not having htis argument again

sent:

sent by: Ilya

No no not that

sent:

Nvm

sent:

Caramel i want a donut

received:

sent by: Carmichael

ugh fine 🖕

Chapter 4: Houston, I Have So Many Problems

Chapter Notes

Here we go with the first bit that isnt just texting. Keep in mind i wrote most of this on my phone, so... yeah. Be mindful of mistakes but i absolutely encourage ppl pointing out something wrong so i can fix it.
Also i actually had a beta reader this time so credit to Mars1nThe5tars who is wonderful and i owe my first born to

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: Jane

note:

2:14 PM

sent:

What timw should i come over

sent:

Jaaaaaaaane

sent:

Shanyaaa

received:

Delete that.

received:

Uh i dont knwo?

sent:

There you are

sent:

How about now

received:

What? No!

sent:

y not

received:

We havr a game to play in a hour!

received:

Have*

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

So?

sent:

I want to come over (((((

received:

Ugh fine

received:

You better be fast

sent:

Yes yes 🏃‍♂️

sent:

I am 2 blocks away

received:

Oh

received:

You know the code.

Ilya did not waste time. 

Shane had stood up the moment he'd let the door close behind him, their stances mirroring each other. Neither moved, even if their time was limited.

Ilya took a step closer as the seconds ticked by. “Hi.”

The corners of Shane's mouth turned up, probably against his will, Ilya supposed. But he smiled back anyway. Shane matched his step after a moment of silence. “Hi,” the shorter man practically whispered back.

Not that Shane would ever admit to being shorter, unless under duress. 

“So.”

“So?” Shane repeated.

Ilya let out a breath. “Пожалуйста, не убивай меня. I may have done something.”

Shane's eyes fluttered as he sighed. “Jesus Christ. Okay, does anyone know? About…”

He shook his head. “Eh, no, not technically.” He knew he was letting his accent wrap around the words to sweeten Shane's reaction, but he was only a man. 

Shane slid a hand down over his face. “Okay… so what did you do then?”

He decided he better get the words out before he gave his beautiful—whatever they were—a heart attack.

Ilya took another step forward, gently resting his hand over the edge of Shane's jacket, smiling somewhat abashedly. Shane's head tilted at that. “So.. your team may or may not have swiped my number from your phone.”

He blinked in surprise. “Oh.” His chest raised and fell a few times in quick succession before he practically hissed out. “I'm going to murder them. What did they do?”

Ilya shrugged and mumbled out, “IgotaddedtotheWAGchat-”

Shane raised an eyebrow, a silent ask Ilya knew meant ‘please repeat that.’ He sighed and made an attempt to speak it slower. “They added me to the Voyageurs’ WAG’s chat. And I stayed…”

“They what.” The missing question in Shane's tone told him they would be banished to bagskates at the next practice, which, fair enough. It could have gone very wrong, stealing his number off their captain's phone. 

It was also a breach of his privacy. “Are you mad at me?” Ilya asked tentatively.

With another sigh, Shane slowly shook his head. “No. But… you stayed?”

He nodded. “Is nice group of women. They seemed so.. what is word, welcoming? I was curious.”

“Like how I make you curious?” Shane teased.

“No, no, not like that, Shanya, is just you.” 

“Mm, Shanya is back now?”

Ilya laughed softly, “Of course, is back. It makes you smile.” Annoyingly, Shane did have to admit, he was in fact smiling.

“Fine.” His smile spread, like he'd stopped holding it back as he draped his arms over Ilya’s shoulders, closing that last bit of space. “How have they been? I've heard Jackie keeps a tight grip on them.”

“Yes, yes. Wonderful ladies. Very welcoming.” He smiled wider at that. 

“Good. I'm glad.” His face had turned teasing, much to Ilya’s disbelief. “Do you enjoy being my WAG?” 

His face made it very clear he was trying not to laugh, but Ilya indulged him, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Very much. Is fun to be… just Shane Hollander’s WAG, not Rozanov. Not the Russian menace. Just… me.” He pulled back to smile at him. “But.. I want to talk to you about one of the WAGs.”

Shane cocked an eyebrow in response. “Oh? I thought there was like… WAG chat solidarity or something like that. I think I've heard some of the guys talking about that.”

“I think yes. But is not that.” 

He nodded. “Okay… what is it then?”

“What if I told you, maybe I think one of WAGs is.. like us?”

Shane blinked a few times, trying to process. “Like… you can't mean what it sounds like.”

Ilya rested his forehead against Shane’s and whispered, “Shanya, I don't think you are alone. Not here-”

“Obviously,” Shane noted softly.

Ilya rolled his eyes and continued, a fond smile decorating his features. “But I don't think you are there, either.”

Shane sucked in a slow breath, letting his words sink in. Whispers, “Who?”

Ilya pulled back, so Shane could see his smile as he murmured, “I think you should talk to Miitka. Perhaps.”

Shane chuckled softly. “Who taught you ‘perhaps'?”

“Your mom.”

Shane playfully shoved him onto the bed, laughter mimicking Ilya’s. “Oh, fuck you!”

That just made Ilya laugh harder. “That was the plan, yes?”

 

 

As Shane had promised, practice was brutal. He made sure of it. By the time he let his teammates relax, one of them had almost thrown up.

He sat on his own bench in front of his locker, breathing hard but otherwise fine. With a clap to get their attention, he started. “Anybody know why we did bagskates today?”

Hayden flipped him off. “I can bet I had nothing to do with it, Shane. Why did I have to suffer?”

Shane shot him a look. JJ coughed once. “I assume this means you found out about Lily?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

Renaud sighed as he plopped down on the bench opposite his captain. “Fuck, listen, we're sorry, but our WAGs have been begging to get her in there!”

JJ butted in, “Collin threatened a sex ban, we had to, Hollzy.”

He rolled his eyes, hiding, hopefully successfully, how fast his heart was beating at the thought of them going through his phone. “Whatever. Did you find anything else?”

Drapeau shook his head from where he stood by his locker, stripping off his gear. “Not that I can think of, no, Cap.”

Shane let out a breath, halfway to a sigh, but holding it in so they wouldn't question him. Then, he nodded. “Cool.”

A stray shirt smacked him in the face, and he turned to stare in the direction it came from. “Mitty,” he stated.

The rest of the room chorused, “Ooooooh, you're in troooouuuble.” 

Soft snickering could be heard, but Shane ignored it, instead, preferring to stand and motion towards the door with his head. “Out in the hall.”

At least Mitty made a point to look dejected, head dropping with a sigh as he stepped out into the hallway. Shane followed him only a moment later, although dawning a shirt he hadn't been wearing in the locker room.

Once the door had clicked closed, Miitka launched into an apology. “I am so sorry, Hollzy, I didn't think it would actually hit you.”

Shane let his serious face fall and make way for his smile. “No, no. You're fine. It’s not about that.” He glanced up and down the hall before motioning for the goalie to follow him as he walked further down the hall. “Let’s go a little farther down here.

“Oh, uh,” Soren started. “O..kay?” His hands slipped into his pockets as he followed his captain. 

About halfway down, Shane stopped, looking around again, before nodding to himself. “This should be good.” He sucked in a slow breath. “Okay, so. This may be… wrong. We may be jumping to conclusions, but I figured it would be best to talk to you, Mitty.”

He blinked. “Right. Okay, cool, and who would be ‘we'?”

Shane seemed to pause at that before offering a sheepish, but very clearly fond smile. “Lily.”

“Oh, okay.” He leaned against the wall, taking his weight off of his left foot. And if it's because it hurt, no one needed to know. “What's up, Cap?”

His eyes tracked Shane’s adam's apple as it bobbed when he swallowed. “It's about.. your girlfriend. I think Lily told me their name is Connie?”

The way Soren froze at the pronoun switch told Shane exactly what he needed to know, but he continued on anyway. “Lily noticed… something. And I wanted to talk to you about it. Just in case.”

“It's- I don't know what you're talking about.” 

Except Shane didn't believe him, purely because of how pale his face had become. Shane raised his hands placatingly, “I have a feeling you do, though.” He swallowed, clearly somewhat nervous himself, which did help slightly ease the panic threatening to choke Soren up. “I, or well, Lily has a theory… about Connie. That, maybe, Connie isn't… a Connie.” The way Mitty's eyes went wide spurred Shane on to start talking faster, lowering his voice in the process. “We're not going to tell anyone, we promise, just…” Deep breaths, Shane. “Maybe… we want you to know you're- you aren't alone in this.”

The way the other man froze this time was somehow different, he could tell by his body language, and the way his shoulders fell just a few millimeters. “Oh.”

A short pause, and then, “Oh.”

 

Chapter End Notes

Hope u enjoyed, this is kinda inspired by some other fic i read but idk which one cause i read... too much fanfic lol. Again, thanks to my beta cause it would be very inconsistent if it werent for them

Chapter 5: A Hoodie a Day Keeps the Assholes Away

Chapter Notes

Wow 2 chaps in a day look at me being productive 🫠
This one is shorter cause... you will see
I apologize for this

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: Jane

note:

6:21 PM

received:

I talked to him.

sent:

Who?

received:

Miitka?

received:

You know, the guy you told me to talk to?

received:

My player who you suspect?

sent:

Oh

sent:

Yes yes how it went?

“Oh.” A beat of silence. Then, “There is no fucking way-”

Shane offered him a semi-sheepish smile accompanied by a shrug. “That depends. Are we… correct?”

The way Soren swallowed before he nodded is all the answer he needed, but he waited anyway.

“I- holy shit.” The goalie practically whispered. “You, THE Shane fucking Hollander, have a boyfriend? Wait, what about Li-” Mitty paused as his brain seemed to recalibrate. “Oh, Lily isn't a Lily, is she?”

Slowly, with his smile spreading over his face, Shane shook his head. “And so do you, Soren Miitka.” Shane finished for him.

The smile that split Soren's face at that statement would be the entirety of the reason he would later let Ilya brag about being right.

 

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

7:13 PM

received:

sent by: Camile

hey girls

received:

Quick question

received:

sent by: Jackie

shoot

received:

sent by: Connie

quick answer

received:

sent by: Nova

whats up gurl

received:

sent by: Camile

how do u girls get ur men to pick up their goddamn socks

received:

sent by: Connie

while i dont typically have to deal with that

received:

Can say i have heard blowjobs work great

received:

sent by: Collin

can concur, does work for jj

sent:

sent by: Lily

Yes

sent:

Works wonders

received:

sent by: Nova

wouldnt have thought shane left soxks around but u go queen i guess 😅😆

sent:

sent by: Lily

never said shane did

sent:

Head is wonderful reward for picking up socks

sent:

Very motivational 😁

received:

sent by: Collin

u know what

received:

Whatever works for u

sent:

sent by: Lily

I cannot look at socks right anymore 😕 😩

sent:

I miss shanya

received:

sent by: Connie

isnt he at home?

received:

They dont have oract9ce rn

received:

Jesus fuck i spelled that so wrong

received:

Practice lol 🤣 😂

sent:

sent by: Lily

No

sent:

I do not live in montreal

sent:

We do not see each other much (((

sent:

Мой помидор

sent:

(

received:

sent by: Nova

what the heck does that say

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

I did not mean to send that

sent:

Fuck

sent:

None of you saw that

note:

(1 message has been deleted)

note:

(3 messages have been deleted)

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Camile

Okaaaaay

received:

Anyway

received:

Patrice will not pick up his socks

sent:

head for every day socks not on floor

received:

sent by: Nova

yes

received:

Agreed

received:

sent by: Connie

okay what just happened

received:

I am so.confused

sent:

sent by: Lily

not a word to shane or your men

sent:

Understand?

received:

sent by: Nova

eah no wag chat solidarity and all but i think were all a bit confused

sent:

sent by: Lily

U ladies can keep secret yes?

sent:

Shane probably thinks me here is mostly joke

sent:

I lied

sent:

I am not girlfriend

sent:

We are not anything

sent:

Fuck

sent:

This was mistake

note:

(Lily has left the conversation)

Chapter End Notes

Again thanks to my beta reader who is the best :)

I apologize for the cliffhanger

More angst was needed so i did it

As context, ilya was kind of panicking a little. He hadnt meant to send the text and he did, so he went back to delete it and realized how fond his texts sounded, qnd how fond they in fact were and he started panicking slightly.

Chapter 6: How to Run from the Mess You Made

Chapter Notes

This one is a liiiiiittle short so i apologize, but i finally figured out where i wanted to go with this chapter.
enjoy!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: Jackie, Collin

note:

7:34 PM

received:

Uhhh… col, u know what just happened?

sent:

No.

sent:

Well

sent:

I might have an idea

sent:

Maybe

received:

Could u talk to her?

sent:

I can certainly try

contact name: Collin, Lily

note:

7:36 PM

sent:

Hey girl

sent:

Pls talk to me?

sent:

I dont know what just happened

sent:

But i want to help?

sent:

Please let me

received:

I cant

received:

Blyad

note:

(1 message has been deleted)

sent:

Wait

sent:

I know that one!

sent:

Russian right?

received:

Fuck.

sent:

Please just talk to me lily

sent:

We care abouyt you

sent:

The girls and i

received:

You have known me barely 6 days

received:

Why?

sent:

Youre shanes girl

sent:

Of course we care about you

sent:

And beyond that

sent:

Weve grown to like you

received:

I am not hollanders girl

sent:

With the way he texts you with that smile of his?

sent:

Maybe you arent but he wants to be

received:

We cannot.

received:

Ever.

received:

We are nothing.

sent:

From what jackie says, hayden used to tease hollzy about going to go hook up with you

sent:

Which makes u something the last i checked

received:

Is not the same

received:

U dont understand

sent:

Then make me understand

sent:

Please?

sent:

I want to be there for you

received:

Hollander thinks is joke that you all think i am his girlfriend

sent:

Okay, maybe you arent then

sent:

But we want to keep you anyway

contact name: Jackie, Shane

note:

7:37 PM

received:

Hey shane?

sent:

Yeah?

received:

Did something happen with Lily?

received:

She kind of freaked out in the WAG chat

received:

And like, i know im not supposed to share outside of it really but this seems important

received:

At least maybe to you?

sent:

Oh

sent:

What happened?

received:

(screenshot.jpg)

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

I’ll text her.

contact name: Lily, Jane

note:

7:41 PM

received:

Lily?

sent:

What

sent:

U miss my dick that much?

received:

That’s not what I’m here to talk about and you know it.

sent:

I’m fine.

received:

Based on the conversation I just had with Jackie, no you aren’t.

received:

What’s going on?

sent:

Like you care

received:

Maybe I do?

received:

Have you considered that?

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

U cannot

sent:

We cannot

sent:

U know this jane

received:

That doesn't mean I have to let you clearly fucking panic.

sent:

Fuck off

received:

No. Not until i know you’re okay.

received:

Now how about you tell me why you panicked?

sent:

How do i know u are not panicing

received:

I don’t think I would be texting if I was.

received:

Did you consider that?

sent:

Consider?

received:

Think about*

sent:

Da. thank u

sent:

At least i am not ignoring u

received:

Again.

sent:

I said I was sorry

received:

Now would you like to tell me what happened?

sent:

…youy will be mad

received:

You haven't told me so I can’t promise I won’t, but I highly doubt it.

sent:

I sent something in russian

received:

Oh.

received:

Okay, thats not great.

received:

But we can work with it.

sent:

U are so media trained hollander

sent:

Is boring

received:

Delete that

sent:

Ugh fine

note:

(1 message has been deleted)

received:

Would it be easier for you to explain on the phone?

sent:

Maybe?

received:

Okay.

sent:

Okie.

note:

(Call lasted 1:04.23)

Chapter End Notes

i did originally want to have ilya back in the chat by this chapter, but i also figureed half way through writing this that that would be a better starter for next chapter so i apologizze for the wait

i cannot belive this is at 2000 hits, holy shit

Chapter 7: History, Huh?

Chapter Notes

So sorry im late i had to wait for school wifi cause we didnt have any at home.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: Collin, Lily

note:

9:08 AM

received:

Hey girl?

sent:

Hm?

received:

The ladies wanted to know if u wanted to be added back

sent:

typing indicator...

received:

We totally dont have to if you donmt want to

received:

But ur our friend now so we would love it if u wouild come back

received:

would*

sent:

dont know if i am ready to be back yet

received:

Tomorrow then?

sent:

Maybe

received:

Just text me whenever and i can add you back

received:

And outside of that

received:

U can talk to me about anything okay?

sent:

Is more complicated than that

sent:

but thank you

sent:

I will think about it

received:

Okay

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

9:11 AM

received:

sent by: Jackie

@collin what did she say?

received:

sent by: Collin

she said not yet

received:

Oh and that she’ll tet me when she wants back in

received:

sent by: Connie

my concern is mainly that she wont 🙁

received:

I liked her

received:

sent by: Ellie

thats cause she matched ur freak

received:

sent by: Connie

lol prob

received:

But no he was cool

received:

she*

received:

Wait

received:

sent by: Dora

wait what?

received:

sent by: Nova

what if…?

received:

We’ve all certainly heard the rumors about shane by now

received:

sent by: Collin

i ddnt thing they had any merit ut

received:

*but

received:

yeah

received:

What if?

received:

sent by: Ellie

that could be why she said they werent dating?

received:

Why she wasnt a girlfriend

received:

sent by: Collin

if thats true we cant say anything

received:

sent by: Dora

what about the other girls?

note:

(13 messages have been deleted)

received:

sent by: Jackie

Problem solved

received:

sent by: Dora

make another chat for this

received:

Cause now i have questions

note:

(3 message have been deleted)

received:

sent by: Connie

on it

contact name: group chat

note:

Connie has added a contact (Jackie)

note:

Connie has added a contact (Collin)

note:

Connie has added a contact (Dora)

note:

Connie has added a contact (Ellie)

note:

Connie added a contact (Nova)

note:

10:45 AM

received:

sent by: Connie

yes?

received:

sent by: Ellie

why is it named group chat\

received:

sent by: Dora

exactly

received:

sent by: Connie

sut up i was trying to be quick

received:

sent by: Collin

haha sut

received:

sent by: Connie

: *shut 🖕

received:

sent by: Collin

:)

received:

sent by: Jackie

BACK ON TOPIC

note:

(Nova has renamed the conversation to: Brut Satans)

received:

sent by: Nova

problem solved

received:

sent by: Dora

thank u nova :)

received:

I always forget u speak more languages

received:

leave some for us monolingual bitches lol

received:

sent by: Jackie

👀Dora, Nova

received:

What did i say

received:

sent by: Dora

back on topic :(

received:

sent by: Jackie

thank u

received:

Now

received:

sent by: Collin

okay

received:

So u guys think the rumors might be true?

received:

About hollander?

received:

sent by: Connie

i mean…

received:

Maybe?

received:

Ive heard it around the league for a while

received:

sent by: Dora

oh right i forgot u work for the league

received:

sent by: Jackie

right..

received:

We went with that excuse. I forgot

received:

sent by: Nova

me too

received:

sent by: Connie

its not an excuse

received:

sent by: Ellie

i can hear the excuses all the way in california

received:

sent by: Connie

yourr in california?

received:

Why?

received:

sent by: Ellie

dude i live in california

received:

I met couillard when the boys played LA

received:

The queens and all

received:

sent by: Collin

oh yeah i remember that

received:

sent by: Jackie

ANYWAY

received:

Focus girls

received:

sent by: Nova

*gurls

received:

sent by: Jackie

idc nova abt ur preference in spelling

received:

Shane is my friend and i dont like talking behind his back

received:

BUT

received:

sent by: Collin

it could cause some problems

received:

sent by: Connie

definitely does

received:

sent by: Ellie

and how would you know for sure con?

received:

sent by: Connie

no reason

received:

I dont

received:

At all

received:

sent by: Nova

re we really not going to discuss this?

received:

sent by: Connie

nope

received:

sent by: Jackie

no

received:

sent by: Nova

okay whatever

received:

But do we really think shane could be..?

received:

sent by: Collin

come on girl

received:

Youc an say it

received:

U can*

received:

sent by: Connie

i agree, yes

received:

Say it

received:

sent by: Nova

gay

received:

Do we really think he’s gay?

received:

sent by: Connie

thank u.

received:

Its not a slur

received:

it s just a word

received:

It wont hurt u

received:

sent by: Nova

fuck u too i guess

received:

I just wasnt sure if i could say it sinc eim not

received:

U know

received:

Queer

received:

sent by: Collin

connie u should give her permission

received:

sent by: Connie

sure whatever lol

received:

U have my permission to say “Gay”

received:

sent by: Jackie

with the number of women i have tried to set up with shane

received:

And hayden too

received:

Its… likely, i suppose

received:

That maybe hes not into women.

received:

Wrong group and all.

received:

sent by: Connie

oh on that note, this does not go back to any of the boys got it?

received:

sent by: Ellie

understood

received:

sent by: Nova

wasnt planning on it

received:

sent by: Collin

ofc i know that

received:

I mean, jj would be fine

received:

sent by: Connie

mitty too, but still.

contact name: Collin, Lily

note:

9:59 PM

sent:

I want back in

sent:

please

Chapter End Notes

We got our lily back!!!!

Also i feel like the girls kiiiiiinda know abt connie but like... not 100% sure. Like they know but they dont know know

Do we want them to know know?

Additionally, do we want a shane and mitty chap next update or more wags with lily?

Chapter 8: Rabbit Hole Full of Binary

Chapter Notes

I feel bad for being late and i was productive ao enjoy an apolgy drama/ reveal chapter and a little bit of ilya being vulnerable!

contact name: Collin, Lily

note:

9:59 PM

sent:

I want back in

sent:

please

received:

On it!

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

10:14 AM

received:

sent by: Collin

i got news girls!

received:

sent by: Nova

gurls*

received:

sent by: Collin

🖕

received:

Not the time nova

received:

WE GOT OUR LILY BACK

note:

Collin has added a contact (Lily Beanz)

note:

(90+ unread messages)

sent:

sent by: Lily

Lily beanz?

received:

sent by: Nova

hey gurl ur back!

received:

sent by: Connie

relax girl

received:

sent by: Audrey

we cant scare her off again

sent:

sent by: Lily

I did not get scared

received:

sent by: Sophia

oh ur finally back!

received:

YAY

received:

@jackie lilys back!

received:

sent by: Jackie

oh hey girl

received:

Gld ur back

received:

glad*

received:

We missed u 🙂

received:

sent by: Sophia

@ellie get up

received:

We have our royalty back

received:

sent by: Ellie

ooh noice

received:

Hey lily :)

sent:

sent by: Lily

Hi ellie

received:

sent by: Camile

oh hey

received:

U good girl?

received:

I couldnt figure out why u left

sent:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Jackie

which u TOTALLY dont have to tell us if u dont want to

received:

sent by: Sophia

but pls do

received:

sent by: Nova

SOPH

received:

sent by: Sophia

wHaT?!

received:

sent by: Nova

i will pm u

received:

Brb

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

I will tell

sent:

But none of it goes to shanya da?

received:

sent by: Audrey

da?

sent:

sent by: Lily

*yes

sent:

Should probably explain, yes?

received:

sent by: Collin

you dont have to if you dont want to

sent:

sent by: Lily

No no is fine

sent:

I should

sent:

I..kind of lied

sent:

Shane and i are something

sent:

Kind of friends

sent:

but we fuck

sent:

But we are not together

received:

sent by: Sophia

but we’ve heard how much shane smiles at his phone while texting u?

received:

Why arent you?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Is complicated.

sent:

And it has been noted my english is not great

sent:

is not my first laguage.

sent:

Where i am from would not be good with shanya

sent:

Or me but mostly him i think.

received:

sent by: Connie

oh

received:

Whats ur first language?

received:

your* i guess

sent:

sent by: Lily

Lol i have been speaking english for 12 yrs

sent:

I know the letter thingies

received:

sent by: Jackie

abbreviations?

sent:

sent by: Lily

da

sent:

@connie russian

received:

sent by: Connie

oh

received:

Huh.

received:

Wait

contact name: Connors, Ilya

note:

10:23 PM

received:

Hey roz?

sent:

Yes?

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Lily..?

sent:

WAIT

sent:

CONNIE?

received:

Holy shit

sent:

И не говори

Chapter 9: There's a Connors in My Walls

Chapter Notes

Aaaaand we got ilya back in the chat

It both makes me happy and frustrated cause doing the coding thingy for the wag chay is annoying to keep the sides and names right

Enjoy!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

6:06 AM

received:

sent by: Camlie

hello ladies

received:

Sorry ive been gone for a while

received:

Busy 🙂

sent:

sent by: Lily

I thought u hated morning?

received:

sent by: Camile

no i love mornings

received:

I go on a run after i wake up

received:

Why would i hate them?

received:

sent by: Dora

i thought u did too

received:

sent by: Camile

i know for a fact that u do, why u awake?

received:

sent by: Dora

never said i slept

sent:

sent by: Lily

oof

received:

sent by: Dora

i dont like u anymore :(

sent:

sent by: Lily

Boohoo

sent:

Mornings suck

sent:

So do hangovers

received:

sent by: Camile

u have a hangover?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Went out with connie last night ((((

sent:

We drank two much

received:

sent by: Connie

ugh :(

sent:

sent by: Lily

Should have gone with cocktails

received:

sent by: Dora

what did u drink?

received:

also u got to meet connie?

received:

sent by: Connie

shots and beer :(

received:

Twas a mistake

sent:

sent by: Lily

Tf is twas?

received:

sent by: Camile

basically was

sent:

sent by: Lily

Stupid english

received:

sent by: Connie

agreed

received:

Uggggghhhhh

received:

sent by: Camile

go back to sleep lol

received:

I dont need vengeful wags on my tail 😂

contact name: Connor, Ilya

note:

10:32 AM

sent:

Are u alive still?

received:

Annoyingly

received:

Wish i wasnt

received:

:(

sent:

Do not wish this

sent:

Bad connor

sent:

Or should i say connie?

sent:

I can get mittys number ad send him this

received:

No

received:

Pls dont

sent:

Too late

received:

Roz

received:

Rozy

contact name: Lily, Jane

note:

10:40 AM

sent:

Jane

sent:

Jaaaaannneeee

sent:

Shanya

received:

Delete that

sent:

There u are

sent:

I need mittys number

note:

(1 message has been deleted)

received:

Why?

sent:

His wag did a bad

received:

…Did a bad?

sent:

I must snitch on him

received:

Fine.

received:

(Contact attached: xxx-xxx-xxxx)

contact name: Connie’s Worst Half, Unknown Number

note:

10:46 AM

sent:

Hello miitka

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Hi?

received:

Who is this?

sent:

Lily

received:

Like hollzys lily?

sent:

What other lily do u know?

received:

..none.

note:

(Contact named: Hollzy’s Lily)

received:

But nevermind that

received:

Who gave you my number?

sent:

Shane

received:

Oh

received:

So…

received:

Are we gonna talk about what we know about each other?

sent:

No

sent:

I am here to snitch on connors

sent:

(Attached screenshot)

received:

Shit

received:

Did he tell you?

sent:

Technically no

sent:

I am friends with bears wags

sent:

so i have his number

sent:

And how he types is…

sent:

Certainly a pattern

received:

Youre english is good

sent:

Haha yours is not

sent:

Wait

sent:

How do u know that?

received:

I would assume the russian textbooks in hollzys house are for u yeah?

sent:

He has russian books for me?

received:

Oh

received:

Did u not know?

sent:

No )))

received:

I will talk to him again about the jokes

received:

When i call him later

contact name: Jane, Lily

note:

10:53 AM

sent:

U have russian textbooks?

received:

I have what now

received:

I mean yes but what?

received:

How do you know that?

sent:

Miitka snitched on u )))

received:

Oh

received:

Shit.

received:

Uhhh

received:

Too far?

sent:

No no

sent:

Is cute

sent:

мой маленький помидорчик

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Isnt that like a vegetable?

sent:

Close

sent:

Is tomato

sent:

My little tomato ))

received:

You know what?

received:

I will except it.

received:

Its betetr than some others

received:

better*

sent:

Mmm

sent:

Yes

sent:

моя шлюха

received:

Fuck you

sent:

Okie

note:

(Lily has started a call)

note:

(Call lasted 1:02.36)

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

12:19 AM

received:

sent by: Ali

@jackie how did you know you were pregnant?

Chapter End Notes

God i feel bad for putting ali through this but 👀

Chapter 10: We're All a Big, Depressed Family

Chapter Summary

Im sorry ali

Chapter Notes

Im so sorry im late

Im working on a foc to add to this world

Also my stepdad just got spinal surgery and i had to help him for a few days, not to mention a bot of verbal shutdown in there lol
Ive been so busy in school recently that i forgot to write and i just didnt know where to take it but it will be worth the wait

This chapter looks rl short cause its only two chats, the first one is super long i promise

Additionally, i have no knowledge of pregnancy so may be completely off in the small mentions, ignore it

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

12:19 AM

received:

sent by: Ali

@jackie how did you know you were pregnant?

note:

6:09 AM

received:

sent by: Camile

oh shit uhh

received:

I can ask my mom?

received:

@ali u good?

received:

sent by: Ali

idk yet

received:

Maybe?

received:

Im prob freaking out over nothing

received:

sent by: Camile

@jackie hey girl get here rrn

received:

I am not much help im sorry girl

received:

sent by: Jackie

this better be important

sent:

sent by: Lily

Read back

received:

sent by: Jackie

oh shit

received:

Uh, i started throwing up on the regular

received:

Food tasted weird

received:

Then i missed a period

received:

sent by: Camile

oh lily ur here!

received:

Why didnt u talk sooner?

sent:

sent by: Lily

I will be no help to this conversation

received:

sent by: Ali

why not? Im sur eu have great insights

sent:

sent by: Lily

I could ask my brothers wife

sent:

But that is about it

received:

sent by: Camile

what abt ur plans for having kids lter?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Oh i cant get pregnant so

sent:

Not helpful

received:

sent by: Ali

oh shit

received:

Sorry i can take this elsewhere

sent:

sent by: Lily

Tf is else where

received:

sent by: Jackie

like.. Not here?

sent:

sent by: Lily

no no is fine

sent:

I will try to help best i can

received:

sent by: Ali

im sorry girl

received:

Thats… god i cant even imagine

sent:

sent by: Lily

No its fine

sent:

Adoption yes?

sent:

Is easy

received:

sent by: Camile

okay so what can i do?

received:

I could go buy you a test or two if u want?

received:

sent by: Ali

yeah

received:

yeah okay

received:

that works

received:

thanks

received:

sent by: Camile

lily u wanna come with?

sent:

sent by: Lily

cant

sent:

I dotn like ib montreal remember

sent:

In*

received:

sent by: Jackie

what

received:

No, no we were not aware of this

sent:

sent by: Lily

oh

sent:

No i do not live in montreal

sent:

Did ur men not tell u about ‘boston lily'?

received:

sent by: Camile

Yeah that sounds familiar

sent:

sent by: Lily

good

sent:

is me

sent:

I am boston lily

sent:

Not montreal lily 🙃

sent:

Can we get back to ali now

sent:

She is more important

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Ali

oh

received:

She is more important

received:

sent by: Camile

Jackie?

received:

Come with me to the drug store?

received:

sent by: Jackie

yeh sure

received:

Give me a few mins to make sure the twins are still asleep and arthur settled with hayd and then

received:

yeah

received:

shouldi pick u up?

received:

sent by: Camile

that would be great thx

received:

Patrice has the car rn

note:

6:22 AM

received:

sent by: Jackie

Here @camile

received:

sent by: Camile

on my way out rn

note:

7:03 AM

received:

sent by: Ali

girls cross ur fingers

received:

tests are timing

sent:

sent by: Lily

timing?

received:

sent by: Ali

going*

received:

Idk words are hard when im stressed

sent:

sent by: Lily

Yes english is an stupid language

received:

sent by: Jackie

a*

sent:

sent by: Lily

Stupid language

sent:

Wtf are these articles?!

sent:

I hate them

sent:

IT IS ONE SINGLE OBJECT

sent:

I CAN USE COMMON SENSE TO FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE

sent:

STUPID

received:

sent by: Ali

timer went off

received:

Cross ur fingers girls

received:

again

sent:

sent by: Lily

I will cross everything

sent:

Mamas cross will bring u luck

received:

sent by: Jackie

we're here for u

received:

No matter the answer girl

received:

typing indicator...

received:

sent by: Ali

NEGATIVE

received:

OH THANK FUCK

sent:

sent by: Lily

This was result u want yes?

received:

sent by: Ali

yes

received:

Not that i dont want kids

received:

But i rlly shouldnt have them myself

received:

I have so much history of health problems i dont want them at risk for

sent:

sent by: Lily

ah.

sent:

yes

sent:

me to

sent:

too*

received:

sent by: Ali

can I ask what u have?

sent:

sent by: Lily

I dont have yet

sent:

But could

sent:

dad had alzheimers

sent:

is genetic

sent:

dead now.

received:

sent by: Jackie

Oh I'm so sorry

sent:

sent by: Lily

no dont

sent:

he was assole.

sent:

not like me

sent:

bad kind

sent:

he is gone now and is good

sent:

My neice doesnt have to meet him ever

sent:

Слава богу

received:

sent by: Camile

still, that sucks

received:

sent by: Jackie

did he… do bad things?

received:

to you?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Depends what you count

sent:

Is different in russia

received:

sent by: Ali

did he ever u know

received:

hit u?

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

yes.

sent:

But is fine.

sent:

Normal

received:

sent by: Jackie

lily that is definitely not normal girl

received:

Are you okay?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Да

sent:

Yes

sent:

Of course

received:

sent by: Camile

its not okah that he hit u though

received:

no parent should hit their kid

received:

sent by: Ali

what abt ur mom?

received:

Did she.. not stop it?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Dead.

sent:

Has been a long time.

received:

sent by: Jackie

oh

received:

Im so sorry

received:

Can i ask how she died?

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

sent by: Lily

pills.

sent:

is fine.

sent:

Was 14 years ago.

received:

sent by: Ali

well now that im not stressing as much about my thing

received:

Do u wanna talk about it?

sent:

sent by: Lily

no

sent:

but thank u.

received:

sent by: Camile

if you need to talk to us we're here.

received:

sent by: Jackie

always.

contact name: Connors, Ilya

note:

11:21 AM

received:

Hey Cap?

sent:

?

received:

im sorry abt ur mom

received:

Thats… not great.

sent:

I dont want to talk about it.

received:

Okay.

received:

But if u ever do im here.

received:

typing indicator...

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Because i get it.

Chapter End Notes

God i feel bad for making ali go through it
But we got ilya/lily opening up!

Also i forgot to name chap 9 so i went back

Chapter 11: The Ballad of JJ Bozaiu, the Good Friend

Chapter Summary

I love jj :)

Chapter Notes

Felt additionally productive so here we go

I love jj and collin is one of my favs, so she gets a little developement

Anything in italics is supposed to be in french but i dont know french, so you get italics because translate sucks lol

Thank you again my woderful beta :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: Lily, Jane

note:

6:01 PM

sent:

I think Im going to come out to JJ.

received:

What

sent:

You think i shouldnt?

sent:

I mean, i think he would be good, yeah?

received:

No no

received:

Is not that

received:

Just as what?

sent:

As what?

received:

Did u pick a label?

received:

Gay, bi, pan, whatever?

sent:

Im not gay.

received:

I didnt say u were

sent:

Just…that i like guys.

sent:

And maybe girls, i just havent found the right one yet.

received:

Right

received:

Shane

sent:

Delete that

note:

(1 message has been deleted)

received:

think for a second

received:

Most people would not be waiting to be attracted to women

received:

They just would be

sent:

Shit

sent:

Am i gay?

sent:

I cant be gay

sent:

Fuck

note:

(Lily is calling)

note:

(Call lasted 2:12.47)

contact name: JJ, Captaine

note:

8:20 PM

sent:

Hey JJ?

received:

Whats up captaine?

sent:

Are you busy right now?

received:

Nope.

received:

Whatcha need?

sent:

Do you have time to stop by my house for a bit?

received:

Of course

received:

Is something wrong hollander?

sent:

No.

sent:

At least, not right now, and I hope not later either.

As soon as Shane sent the text, he could feel the panic swelling in the back of his throat, but it needed to wait. He could panic later on the phone with Rozanov after he got this done.

The seventeen minutes between the read receipt and the doorbell were probably the most nerve wracking moments of Shane's life so far—no actually that title belonged to the moments waiting for Ily- Rozanov that first time they met up.

Shane stood up—after taking a deep breath, of course—when the doorbell rang. Letting JJ in, he guided the surprisingly quiet man towards his living room.

JJ took a seat before he spoke, “Hollander?” The shorter man pulled his legs up against his chest at that, immediately telling JJ something was wrong, so he corrected his address, “Shane. What's going on? You look like you're panicking.” 

When JJ placed a reassuring hand over Shane's knee, he took in a full breath for probably the first time since he'd opened the door. Maybe even since he'd been off the phone with Rozanov.

He had to drop his head to rest on his knees before he could even mumble out, “I need to tell you something.”

JJ scooted further into his space and slung an arm around his shoulders. “It's okay. Breathe, Captaine. For me?” He continued only after Shane followed the instruction. “Okay, there you go. Would French be easier?”

He nodded and slowly lifted his head, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “JJ, I think I might be gay.” 

The Quebecois man blinked in surprise, before quickly recovering. “Oh. Oh! So… Lily?”

Shane had to clear his throat and wipe away the tear that had slid down to his jaw. “..Is a man, JJ. Always has been.” 

Nodding, he smiles and leans his head against Shane's shoulder. “Okay, Captaine. I'm still here, and I'm not leaving. Okay?”

Uncurling his legs, Shane leaned into his embrace and murmured into his shirt, “Thank you, JJ.”

“No problem.” He seemed to hesitate for only a second. “So can I ask questions or not?”

He laughs softly and retorts, “You just did.”

“You know what I meant, jackass.”

“Yes,” Shane sat up a little straighter after their laughter subsided.

JJ cleared his throat and shrugged, “Okay, so.. have you been with a guy before?” He responds with a pointed look. “Oh, right, Lily. Okay, uh, scratch that one… what about before Lily?” The shorter man shook his head. “Other than Lily?”

This time, he nodded, “Yeah. But unimportant.”

“Are you telling me because it's, like, serious with Lily?”

Shane vehemently shook his head at that and JJ raised his hands in mock surrender. “Got it, got it. That's all I've got right now.” He nodded, but it seemed stilted, so JJ leaned forward to pull him into a tight hug, the way he knows Shane likes. He relaxed into his touch almost immediately.

 

contact name: JJ, Captaine

note:

9:34 PM

received:

thank you for trusting me shane

sent:

Thank you for not freaking out and leaving.

sent:

And for the hug.

sent:

It helped a lot

note:

10:56 AM

received:

Hey cap

received:

U said i could still ask questions, yeah?

sent:

Oh god

sent:

What did you think of?

received:

so… what are the limits on questions?

sent:

There isnt like a number

received:

I meant like boundaries for what i can ask

sent:

Oh

sent:

Uh

sent:

I dont know? Just dont be a jackass I guess

received:

Okay

received:

Then i have another question

sent:

Shoot

received:

How do u suck a dick?

sent:

Wtf jj

sent:

I said dont be a jackass

received:

No!

received:

Merde

received:

That wasnt meant to be a bad question!

received:

Like literally how?

sent:

As in like instructions?!

received:

preferably

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Do i want to know why?

received:

i mean its kinda simple

received:

Ish

received:

So u know my girlfriend collin?

sent:

Yes

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Lily sometimes talks about her

sent:

Says shes cool and all.

received:

Yeah well

received:

Long story short

received:

Shes trans

received:

Like was born a dude

received:

But feels like woman inside

received:

And she is, but she doesnt want surgery so like…

received:

I want to learn for her

sent:

Oh

sent:

Okay that is both way to much information and stupidly sweet wtf JJ

received:

Lol, so?

sent:

Just call me

note:

(JJ is calling)

note:

(Call lasted 34:41)

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

12:50 PM

received:

sent by: Collin

Who tf taught JJ to give head?

Chapter End Notes

This is for kaythehawk who kept thinking collin was a guy
Nope
That was never the plan (technically neither was this but i liked it better)

Shane deserves better than in canon, so i gave him it

Chapter 12: "An Example of Poor Planning and the Questioning of Existence" a Memior by JJ Boziau

Chapter Summary

HEKNOWSHEKNOWSHEKNOWSHEKNOWS

Chapter Notes

Yall shoulda had this chapter this morning but my code up and broke on me when i went to upload it so i had to redo like two of the text chains a d fix a bunch of random breaks
But never mind that, i am apparently on to terrorizing jj.
At least ali is safe this time :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

12:50 AM

received:

sent by: Collin

Who tf taught JJ to give head?

note:

11:36 AM

sent:

sent by: Lily

HE HAS NOT BEEN?!

sent:

EVER?!

received:

sent by: Brooke

oh wait what

received:

@Collin

received:

Pls tell me u havent let him go without

received:

sent by: Collin

…uhm

received:

No?

received:

No?

received:

sent by: Nova

gurl

received:

Wtf

received:

U let him get away with that?

received:

sent by: Collin

i mean, im not upset abt it

received:

I get it

received:

sent by: Camile

i get tht its… complicated

received:

But like…never?

received:

sent by: Collin

no

received:

But its fine

received:

I totally get it

sent:

sent by: Lily

That does not make it okay!

sent:

If u do it, he should reciprocate

contact name: Connors, Ilya

note:

11:39 AM

received:

Reciprocate

received:

Big word

sent:

Ik )))

sent:

Shanya taught me

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

11:40 AM

received:

sent by: Collin

@ jackie

received:

U good if i explain?

received:

sent by: Jackie

its not my place to dictate what you can and cant share with us

received:

Even if some of us already know

sent:

sent by: Lily

Now i am confused

sent:

I am missing pieces, Дa

received:

sent by: Collin

yes lol

received:

So jackie do i have the okay?

received:

sent by: Jackie

oh yeah of course

received:

I wont stop you

received:

sent by: Camile

u dont have to tell them for my sake lol

received:

sent by: Collin

nah ik

received:

But jj’s rep doesnt deserve this

sent:

sent by: Lily

Clearly jj deserves it if he has not ever

received:

sent by: Collin

no like i dont expect him to

received:

Cause im trans

received:

Havent had any of the surgeries either, so like…

received:

I wasnt gonna ask it of him if he didnt want to

contact name: Bozaiu, Unknown Number

sent:

Who taught u to suck dick

received:

Wtf

received:

Hello?!

sent:

Hello bozaiu

sent:

who

received:

Who is this?!

sent:

Wow

sent:

Your pigeon brain cannot figure out

received:

Oh

received:

Rozanov?

sent:

What

received:

Ur the only one who calls me pigeon brain

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Fuck

received:

Its better than some others

received:

Wait

received:

How tf did you know that?

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Oh no

received:

I laughed and collin wants to know hwts funny

sent:

Oop

sent:

Is okay

received:

typing indicator...

received:

Rozanov

received:

Why did collin just ask f i was talking to lily?

received:

Like hollzys lily?

sent:

I know nothing of this

sent:

At all

sent:

Who is this lily?

received:

Wait holy shit

received:

LILY?!

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Fuck

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

Shane will murder me

received:

Jésus putain de Christ

contact name: JJ, Captaine

note:

JJ, Captaine

received:

ROZANOV?!

received:

WTF SHANE

sent:

what?

note:

1:32 PM

received:

Okay im calm now

received:

Jesus fucking christ

received:

I guess hes the closest to hockey u could actually get but still

received:

Wtf shane

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

I am still just as confused

sent:

Why are we talking about Rozanov?

sent:

(Unsent) Please dont be what i think it is

sent:

(Unsent) how did you find out?

received:

Shane

received:

Hollzy

received:

U know what im talking about

received:

Lily?

received:

Not smooth

sent:

typing indicator...

sent:

typing indicator...

received:

Oh fuck

received:

Fuckfuckfuckfuck

note:

(JJ is calling)

note:

(Call lasted 41:21)

received:

Better?

received:

Im not mad

sent:

I got that

sent:

Still going to freak the fuck out on the phone later but better for now

sent:

Jesus

sent:

You werent suppsoed to know

received:

I am not one to judge for this captaine

received:

U know this

sent:

I do.

sent:

As much as i wish i didnt.

contact name: ✨ (W)onderful (A)nd (G)racious ✨

note:

1:43 PM

received:

sent by: Collin

holy fucking shit

received:

@lily?!

sent:

sent by: Lily

Not a word

sent:

Understand?

received:

sent by: Camile

what?

received:

sent by: Collin

yes of course, but HOLY SHIT

received:

sent by: Jackie

??

received:

Whats up lol?

received:

sent by: Collin

can i tell them ik?

sent:

sent by: Lily

Fiiiiiiiine

received:

sent by: Collin

i found out who lily is

received:

sent by: Nova

awe damnit i wanna know!

received:

Come on be a gurls gurl

received:

sent by: Collin

as much as i wish u could know so we could freak out together

received:

No

received:

🙂

received:

Love u tho :)

received:

sent by: Nova

lyt :(

received:

sent by: Jackie

is she as beautiful as who i bet she was?

sent:

sent by: Lily

YOU MADE A BET?

received:

sent by: Collin

yes and clearly im winning it

received:

@jackie she is th emost beautiful woman u will have ever met :)

sent:

sent by: Lily

))))

received:

sent by: Brooke

but like… he learned for u?

received:

sent by: Collin

yeah 🙂

received:

sent by: Collin

Its actually like super sweet that he went out of his comfort zone for me

sent:

sent by: Lily

Fine

sent:

He can live

Chapter End Notes

I love protective ilya
And collin is still my fav of the girls but like... eh who cares
We all have favs.
I cant belive were at 6400 hits
I never thought i would get this far
It reminds me of my wattpad era -oop

Afterword

End Notes

anybody think they can figure out the twist yet?
There will be more. i am still learning how to do coding things.
hope yall enjoyed!

Also! U guys know what i think we want? A new wag!
...or two?
Which guy do we think should get the upgrade from background character to main partner?

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