Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau & Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Shane Hollander, Brad Hammersmith, Ryan Carmichael, Victor St. Simon, Original Hockey Player Characters

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, POV Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Texting, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov is a Menace, Ilya Rozanov Needs Therapy, Good Friend Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, A little bit of angst never hurt anybody, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Ilya Rozanov is going through it, Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug, Light Angst, Drinking & Talking, Secret Relationship, Crack, Fuck AI, Hollanov situationship era, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander's Freckles, Ilya Rozanov is Smart, Ilya Rozanov is a dumbass, POV Outsider

Language:

English

Series:

Part 3 of it's all fun and games

Collections:

*Heated rivalry melts my heart*, Always Read Again, made in japan, so obsessed i might actually watch hockey, LoonAYDoneRead, MCF (My Comfort Fics), Best Hollanov SMAUs, Lazer's Social Media fics

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-11 Completed: 2026-03-31 Words: 10,445 Chapters: 2/2

it's all fun and games until cap is in his feels again

Summary

Roz: it’s weird with her
Roz: idk if anyone else ever has this happen
Roz: but I can’t get enough from her
Roz: usually after sex with someone I am done
Roz: but the more I have of Jane, the more I want
Roz: weird, right?

Hammer: sounds like you’re falling for her, Rozy

Roz: no, no
Roz: like, sometimes I want to see her even after sex
Roz: or text her but not dick pics
Roz: weird feeling, like horny but for talking or hanging out
Roz: its confusing, hard to explain

Cliff: you’re literally just describing liking a person

Cliff Marleau's seen his captain through some crazy times and some wild crash outs. This is a little foray into some of the group chats and nights out with the boys. Especially when Cap is in his feels about his Montreal Girl.

Notes

Part 3 in the it's all fun and games series is here! This one is the third entry but chronologically it takes place prior to both parts one and two. It can be read as a standalone! Here we explore some of Ilya's crash outs and good times from Marleau's POV.

This is for fun and shouldn't be taken too seriously in terms of timeline. It's a mix of book and show canon, but the big thing is that in my timeline Shane and Ilya were fucking from the get-go like in the book, no two-year pause after a few blowjobs here! Anyway, just enjoy these big dumb hockey players caring about each other and having fun!

PLEASE NOTE/CONTENT WARNING: These are hockey players. They swear a lot, they are a bit crass and uncouth, and have unhealthy attitudes toward sex. They use drugs, drink to block out their emotional turmoil, have dismissive attitudes and language about/toward sex, women, and mental health. Please remember these big dummies ultimately love and respect each other, but be aware the attitudes/language are a bit toxic.

This unbeta'd and any and all feedback are most welcome. Hope you enjoy!

--

I've changed the rating to Mature as a friend pointed out that perhaps discussions of sex work, cocaine, and other party drugs falls outside of the scope of Teen, which, yes, good feedback, thank you! :)

Chapter 1

Chapter Notes

Fall, 2014

It was 23 games in, more than a quarter way through the new season, and they had 20 wins. Twenty fucking wins, baby! Cliff Marleau, Stanley Cup winner, was on top of the world. He and Roz were connecting like crazy on the ice and this was shaping up to be Cliff's best season ever. They’d been unreal in their game against Montreal last night, which they won 3-1. Roz and Cliff both got Gordie Howe hat tricks, and they both had the busted lips to prove it. It was way too early to even think it, it was a jinx actually, nearly sacreligious…but the knowledge sat in the back of Cliff’s brain, nonetheless. Back-to-back cups was a real possibility with the way everyone was playing. 

Cliff even had a plan for his personal life. He was a lot of things: great at hockey, great at sex, athletic, enthusiastic, fun, sorta funny. Cliff had a lot going for him. What he did not have was smarts. Which led him to a terrible habit in his relationships. Normally he’d get with a girl casually, then it'd be less casual. Maybe a vacation together, or some flashy gift. Then they’d be serious, then it’d all fall apart. Usually it all took about six weeks.

Nicole was like the fifth girl he was sure he could make it work with, and he wanted to be right this time. They'd just started tipping from casual to less casual, had a nice short trip to Aruba over a three day break. And it was on the plane ride back that Cliff did maybe the smartest thing he'd ever done in his entire life. He just...told her. Just, cards on the table: hey, I'm a hockey player with 10+ concussions. I haven't read a book since the fourth grade. I like you but I am very stupid. I am too stupid to make a relationship work unless you know how stupid I am and account for it. Please, always remember how stupid I am. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it, but just remember I never really know what I'm doing.

And she'd just laughed, and kissed him, and agreed to be exclusive. Smartest move of his life.

The Bears were more than half way through a roadie, but had two more games before heading home. He’d have a few days for Thanksgiving and Nicole was bringing him around to meet her law school friends. It wasn't her mom and dad, but it wasn't bad, either. He'd take it.

His phone buzzed. 

The Boys 

7:19pm

Gravy: club tonight?

Hammer: can’t move after that hit
Hammer: video games and takeout?

Roz: I vote video games and dumplings 

Hammer: Roz says no club? 

Roz: got my soul sucked out of my dick last night
Roz: mariokart is the only cure for this I think

Hammer: Montreal girl?

Roz: 😏

Cliff was happy either way. Club, Mariokart, whatever. He was in a good mood, his boys were with him, Nicole was smart enough for both of them, and he was playing like a beast lately.

Cliff: I'm up for whatever

Gravy: I need alcohol

Cliff: ?

Gravy: Sera broke it off

Hammer: thought you guys were good?

Gravy: we were
Gravy: but she said we’re done
Gravy: hoped she’d cool off by now
Gravy: but she hasn’t texted me this whole roadie
Gravy: i really fucking liked her, man

Cliff: ah, that sucks Gravy, sorry

Roz: but a few weeks without you she will call again, no?

Gravy: i fucking hope so

Roz: she will

Gravy: no offense Roz 
Gravy: but the fuck would you know about it?
Gravy: you never see the same girl more than twice

Roz: untrue! some repeats
Roz: Sveta, for one

Gravy: 🙄🙄

Cliff: I'm with Gravy, long term FWB don’t count

Roz: my Jane

Cliff: Montreal hookup? don't think that counts either

Roz: no, she is not just road girl
Roz: not just convenient 
Roz: she is the best

Gravy: yeah, she sucks your soul out your dick, we get it

Roz: no, it’s weird with her
Roz: idk if anyone else ever has this happen
Roz: but i can’t get enough from her
Roz: usually after sex with someone i am done
Roz: but the more I have of Jane, the more I want
Roz: is weird, right?

Cliff: same with Nicole
Cliff: the more i have the more i want

Roz: yes, right, like that

Hammer: sounds like you’re falling for her, Rozy

Roz: no, no
Roz: it's more like, sometimes I want to see her even after sex
Roz: or text her but not send dick pics
Roz: weird feeling, like horny but for talking and hanging out
Roz: it's confusing, hard to explain

Cliff: you’re literally just describing liking a person

Roz: no, i am not explaining right
Roz: i love sex with her
Roz: i love teasing her, she gets so annoyed
Roz: and when she gets mad and won’t answer i'm happy
Roz: because I know when i do see her she will angry-fuck me
Roz: with angry little kitten face 😾
Roz: it's the best

Hammer: Rozanov!
Hammer: you are straight-up into her 

Roz: no, let me try to explain it right
Roz: bc it is not like that
Roz: she has stupid boring takes on everything
Roz: reads boring books
Roz: doesn’t like to go clubbing
Roz: takes herself too seriously
Roz: but is crazy CRAZY
Roz: absolute fucking freak in bed

Gravy: Roz? falling for a sex freak? who’d have guessed!?

Roz: the sex is so good
Roz: i am always thinking about it at least a little bit
Roz: but sometimes something (not sex) happens and I think, oh Jane will think this is funny 
Roz: and I tell her abt it after we fuck 
Roz: or I’ll text her 
Roz: and she’ll laugh and tell me to fuck off
Roz: and it's nice bc she is thinking abt me

Cliff: yeah, that’s not a casual hookup, man 

Roz: no, no, you are wrong
Roz: definitely casual, just best ever sex
Roz: so its in front of my brain usually

St. Vicky: hold on, lemme catch up 

St. Vicky: okay, yeah, no
St. Vicky: Roz you’re like actually in love with her
St. Vicky: genuinely, that’s what falling in love is

Roz: ugh NO
Roz: is a sex thing
Roz: sex so good it confuses my brain and my dick

St Vicky: (and his heart)

Roz: NO, not love 
Roz: last year we didnt even text for like six months 

St. Vicky: oh, yeah?
St. Vicky: how often did you open the text thread?

Roz: idk, once a week, maybe?

St. Vicky: bro…

Roz: mostly to reread old sexts

Roz: after we won the cup i saw her 
Roz: had the hottest sex of my life 
Roz: fucking unreal 
Roz: wish we recorded it 
Roz: but it's better we didn’t
Roz: you would find me dead from thirst with my dick in my hand

St. Vicky: jfc, dude

Cliff: once a week ain’t bad, actually
Cliff: when Nicole's mad I check texts like every five mins

Roz: see? not love
Roz: very easy to not think of her
Roz: very hard to not think of the sex
Roz: and I’m hard when I do think of the sex 😏

Gravy: ok, cool, split the difference 
Gravy: we’ll say you’re in love with the sex then

Hammer: so, mariokart?  

Roz: no, fuck mariokart 
Roz: let’s get fucked up

Cliff: hell yeah, brother

Roz: Gravy, we'll find some women

 
Gravy: meet you in the lobby at 10?

Hammer: you fucking idiots
Hammer: gravy, call sera and apologize

Hammer: roz, seek therapy
Hammer: like, copious amounts of fucking therapy

Roz: booooo, so boring

Cliff felt good, great even. He was drunk and loose. Gravy was tense, pent up and looking for something, but Roz was all easy laughter and eager movements. They owned that dance floor. There were girls and booze and party favors and VIP tables and the three of them were enjoying every fucking second of it. 

He kept half an eye on Roz and Gravy, they were going a little hard, sure, but nothing outrageous. Cliff just danced right along side them.

“Remember Captain Hook and the crocodile?” Gravy shouted to them, sometime after 2am. “Peter Pan was on TV a few nights ago and I finally got that whole thing! Like, the clock and ticking was him getting older, and Hook was chasing Peter Pan to like, destroy his youth because Hook can’t have it anymore! 

“What?” Roz looked him up and down with his funny little half-smile. 

“I just saw that and was like, oh, I get it! I get it now! Like, I feel like that sometimes! Like there’s a fucking clock-crocodile chasing me, you know? Time is coming for us, guys, and it’ll rip off our other hand, too!”

Cliff just moved his shoulders to the music. Hockey players could be depressing as hell when they remembered their bodies would break down eventually and their careers would come to a grinding halt. Cliff just wanted to dance. 

“I have no idea what the fuck you are saying!” Roz yelled back. “Don’t be sad tonight, sad is so boring! Boring to focus on shit we cannot change, like fucking passage of time. We are professional athletes, the eh, what is word, sand clock thing? It's going already. We are on borrowed time. Live while we can, okay?” Roz took shot glasses off the tray a server carried around and handed one to Cliff and Gravy, each. 

“Fuck yeah, boys. Live while we fucking can!” Cliff clinked his glass against his boys' they all threw back their shots. They danced for a while, drank some more, and Cliff had a blast and did not waste a single fucking second mourning the vulnerability of falling in love or the fleeting nature of life. Perks of being stupid, maybe.

Later the three of them stood shoulder to shoulder and smoked on the balcony. The sun was coming up. It was fucking beautiful, actually. Cliff hadn't planned to hook up tonight, obviously, but he couldn't help but notice that Roz and Gravy both they'd had their choice of a dozen beautiful women and instead they were out here on the balcony. Just looking at the skyline. Resolute in not looking at their fucking phones.

“You love Sera, you think?” Roz asked Gravy.

“I dunno. Can’t shake her, so maybe?”

“But you want more with her? Than just casual, I mean?”

“Yeah, probably, I think so.” 

“So, you fucked it up?” Cliff asked.

“Looks like,” Gravy agreed.

“But you do want her? And you could have her, still? If you do better?” Roz pressed on.

“Yeah, I think so. I think I could probably make it work if I fucking tried for once.”

Roz smoked his cigarette to the filter while he considered that. "So, why are you here, Gravy? Go do what Hammer said. Call her. Buy her gifts. Tell her you want her. Take her out for fancy dinners, take her to fucking Carribean, fuck her stupid and wake up next to her. Tell her you love her.” Roz didn’t look at either of them, he kept his eyes on the traffic below, the skyline, anywhere but at Cliff. 

“Big talk, Roz. What about you and your Jane? Vicky's right, it's like you're in love with her. You gonna tell me you don’t want more with her?” Gravy spat back.

“I don’t love her. I barely know her. We fuck a few times a year, send flirty texts in between. She likes it like this, occasional. She gets what she needs from me already, it’s not like I have much else to give." Ouch, that one sounded like it hurt, actually. "Our thing is just this, supposed to be fun. Easy. That’s all.” Roz shrugged.  

“Huh," Cliff said, looking at his own cigarette. "So you brought it up with her before? You’ve talked about it?”

And then Roz was back to all charm and easy smiles. “Well, it's hard to talk much with my dick in her mouth, but don't worry about me, Marly. We have fun. We blow off steam. We flirt and argue and fuck and it's good. Does not mean more than that.”

Well, that was bullshit. But Roz was a fully grown man. He could figure out for himself if he wanted more or not. Wasn’t Cliff’s place to challenge that. Fuck, Cliff had to focus on his own shit here. 

“Oh shit, Sera's calling," Gravy said as he ran off to find a quiet place to answer. 

Cliff and Roz shouted encouragement after him, although Cliff couldn't really think of a positive reason Gravy's ex was calling at 5am after Gravy had been dumb enough to post club pictures online.

Roz smiled, clapped a hand on Cliff’s shoulder and pulled him against his body. They stood like that a while, watching the traffic start to pick up. "Remember my rookie season, we came to team breakfast drunk? In Detroit, I think?" Roz asked.

Cliff laughed. "You were nearly benched, haha. Coach was so pissed at me, I was supposed to be watching you, he said."

"Yes, but you were very bad at that. Always gave in so easy."

"It's not even that, I told Coach you just outsmarted me at every turn. Not fair to ask me to keep you in check."

Roz laughed. "No, Marly, you are just a good friend. Never let me drink alone."

And they stood there, watching the sun come up.

March 2015

Everything was good. It’d be an uphill battle for the Cup, what with the way injuries had hit the team, but it wasn’t off the table, either. Roz was in a fucking groove. The Bears had picked up a new winger in Carmicheal before the trade deadline and he'd folded in seamlessly. He was a good addition to the team, a good match for the guys, and everything felt like it was coming together. Roz was steady for once, too. Usually, Roz had some wild fucking mood swings throughout the season. Bouts of depression, manic phases. But lately he was as close to mentally healthy as any young, famous, hockey player could be. And his play was solid. Whatever the kid was doing was working.

Nicole and Cliff were in a good spot too. They fought sometimes, sure, but they made up more often than they fought. She was fiery and took Cliff at his word that he was very dumb and any dumb thing he did was because of that, not because he didn't care. She still had limited patience, though, she was only human. Roadies were fucking killer, but it’s just the way it was. Nicole didn’t expect Cliff to be a saint, he still partied. Still hit the clubs with the guys. He just went home alone. It was working for them.

Cliff was fucking happy.

The Boys 

8:28pm

Hammer: what’s the move tonight?

Carmy: Roz, we doing the club? Your old hookup come thru?

Roz: yeah. eclipse, 10, vip section 
Roz: tell the team but we need a headcount if more than 15

St. Vicky: I’m outtie, gonna hit a titty bar with Marly

Roz: hot wings place?

Gravy: lmao, marly never shuts up abt it when we’re in Chicago 

Hammer: Nicole good with that?

Cliff: yeah, I mostly go for the wings
Cliff: best hot wings I’ve ever had 
Cliff: swear to god 

 

12:18am

St. Vicky: anyone know if Hollander has a sister?

Gravy: Shane Hollander? Idk, why?

Cliff: shut up, Vic, it’s obviously not

Roz: I think only child. why?

St. Vicky: one of the girls here looks EXACTLY like Hollander 
St. Vicky: could honestly be his twin

Cliff: pretty close match, ngl

Hammer: hahaha

Gravy: ahaha, that’s wild

Carmy: lmao, nice

Roz: hahahahaha

Roz: but what’s the bar again?
Roz: send address

Hammer: LOL

Carmy: lmao, Roz 

Roz: haha, no
Roz: but yes, really
Roz: tell me where?

Roz: where?
Roz: where is bar
Roz: ??

Gravy: Roz, you're doing fine here, what about that blonde chick?
Gravy: Roz?

Roz

12:20am

Roz: marly
Roz: where r you? ?
Roz: marly
Roz: marly
Roz: marleau
Roz: clifford fucking marleau
Roz: were the fuck are you?
Roz: don't after-midnight me you motherfucker

Team Chat 

12:23am

Roz: anyone!
Roz: what is this hot wing and titty bar marly is always talking abt?

Rook: gotchu cap
Rook: [location share]

Roz: bless!

Seb: bless? oh cap is DRUNK-drunk, huh?

Roz: rook gets out of one bagskate this week
Roz: seb doesd double 

Hammer: LMAO ROZ 
Hammer: is this a fucking joke??

Cliff: no one told the rook to never answer Roz after midnight?

Hammer: he’s like a gremlin, kid
Hammer: don’t feed him after midnight
Hammer: only causes trouble

Roz: unsportsmanlike conducts
Roz: betrayal from marly and seb and hammer 

The Boys 

12:25am

Carmy: Marly and Vic, Roz is headed your way, I think
Carmy: wasted btw
Carmy: just RAN outta here

Hammer: that was crazy, lmao 

Gravy: like a Russian sleeper agent being activated 

Cliff: yeah, he’s blowing up my phone

Roz

12:25am

Roz: im coming thru
Roz: just tell me 
Roz: i need to know to expect
Roz: this hollander stripper 
Roz: does she have freckles?

Cliff: LOL
Cliff: I love you, Roz 
Cliff: but you need some serious psychotherapy and shit
Cliff: this is deeply fucked 

Roz: hillandeer is ahead in the points race this season 😡
Roz: is it so crazy to want a lap dance from lookalike????
Roz: 😇 😇 😇
Roz: crazy to try for more than lapdance, maybe?    

Cliff: you’re gonna try to pull a stripper bc she looks like your rival?

 

Roz: depends. 
Roz: freckles?!??

Cliff: yeah
Cliff: cute freckles

Roz: stop looking. 
Roz: mine. 
Roz: freckles mine.

Cliff: the fuck???

The Boys

9:18am

Gravy: yo, Roz, you good?

 

9:40am

Carmy: Did he make it to you?

St. Vicky: for a min
St. Vicky: then he emptied the atm and booked a private room

Hammer: Roz
Hammer: Lmaooooo
Hammer: you’re actually twisted
Hammer: for real sick in the head, bro

Roz: what?
Roz: you would not take opportunity to fuck girl-version of your rival?

Cliff: i mean, idk
Cliff: prly not

Roz: lies. liars
Roz: american nonsense 
Roz: cowardice 
Roz: puritan hang ups
Roz: i weep for you

St Vicky: no, i think i get it

Gravy: Vic’s last girl looked exactly like his mom, it’s not helping your case, cap

Cliff: if we’re talking abt how fucked up Roz is
Cliff: can we talk abt that late-in-the-third hatty against MTL last year?
Cliff: cuz Roz was fully fucking hard in the locker room after

Roz: omg yes
Roz: was so beautiful 
Roz: half hard now thinking abt it

St. Vicky: man, you need to talk to the team doctor or something
St. Vicky: they got pills and shit you can go on

Roz: crushing enemies is good 
Roz: sex is good
Roz: dick gets confused 
Roz: such things happen with so many conquests 

Hammer: nope 
Hammer: no

Roz: it is ok
Roz: one day one of you will play good game
Roz: your poor dicks will not know what to do
Roz: but i am good friend and captain 
Roz: will find nice hockey rival stripper for you

Cliff: so, you had fun with the hollander-stripper, then?

Roz: when I marry my freckled beauty you can give wedding speech, marly

St. Vicky: she wear a hollander jersey for you, too, cap?

Roz: st simon, i cannot let this stand
Roz: my beauty wears my jersey when we fuck
Roz: you apologize to my beautiful wife or no wedding invite 

Cliff: not Roz falling for the stripper
Cliff: hearing wedding bells and shit

Roz: black tie event but hot wings for dinner

Cliff: omfg those hot wings at a wedding
Cliff: no bullshit, I actually think this could be a good move for you
Cliff: most guys shouldn't marry a stripper they just met
Cliff: but I legit think it would work for Roz

Gravy: marly really pimping cap out for some hot wings?

Sidebar (no Roz)

Carmy created Sidebar (no Roz) group chat
Carmy added you to Sidebar (no Roz) group chat

 

10:14am

Carmy: YO. Roz???

Hammer: yeah, he’s certif-fucking-fiable

Gravy: Seb saw the stripper leaving Roz’s room this morning, lmao
Gravy: even Seb was like, am i tripping or is that a girl-version of hollander

St. Vicky: genuinely Roz is so fucked up, haha

Carmy: no but seriously
Carmy: is this one of those insane crashouts you guys mentioned?
Carmy: like, do we address it?

Cliff: ehhhhh
Cliff: Roz crashes out sometimes
Cliff: this aint that tho
Cliff: he’s just super competitive and freaky as hell
Cliff: makes shit weird sometimes
Cliff: he got worked up talking about Lemieux's finals deke once

Hammer: lmao, i remember that
Hammer: no shame either
Hammer: found a girl and went to the club bathroom with her like four mins later

Cliff: he’s also has a thing about freckles

St. Vicky: oh yeah, Roz and freckles
St. Vicky: like, it’s a THING

Gravy: I’ve noticed the freckles thing before
Gravy: line ten girls up he’s going for freckles every time

Carmy: so if this isn't a crash out, what’s that look like?

Cliff: fighting a fan
Cliff: drug bender
Cliff: consistently dropping 10k+ on strippers 
Cliff: 3am posts with sad music
Cliff: thats when we intervened in the past

Carmy: intervene?

Hammer: take turns going over for videogames, works outs, shit like that

St. Vicky: keep him away from blow, he goes wild with it when he’s crashing out

Carmy: ok, fine but like
Carmy: I’m still hung up on the fact that ROZ FUCKED THE HOLLANDER STRIPPER

Cliff: he gets a little manic with it sometimes
Cliff: it’s fine, tho, it just means his play is abt to be INSANE
Cliff: watch, he's gonna be a fucking demon on the ice

Carmy: if you say so...

Cliff fucking told Carmy so. Bears went on a seven game winning streak, fueled in part by Roz’s intensity on the ice. He was locked in, fucking everywhere out there. He racked up assist after assist and goal after goal. He also led in penalty minutes, but Carmy was a beautician at killing the powerplay. It all went well, they were playing some unbelievable hockey. They locked their standings in for playoffs and were looking fantastic. Cliff couldn't help but think about the Cup, jinxes be damned.

But then their goalie got hurt, their reserve wasn’t as good, and fucking Shane Hollander and his Metros knocked them out of the playoffs in 6 games. It stung like it always did. But Cliff was more than a little amused by the glint in Roz’s eye every time he took the face off against Montreal’s captain. He wondered if Roz was thinking about the similar pretty brown eyes and freckles he'd had under him a few weeks prior.

The team was out for drinks, commiserating about their loss. Roz was smirking at his phone, texting some girl. Probably his Montreal girl, the way his face flushed. 

“Ahh, there he is, the blushin’ Russian!” Cliff chirped at him. Roz got pissed when Cliff teased him about blushing. 

“You know your eyes were straight-up twinkling during face offs with Hollander, right?” Gravy asked. “Good memories of pretty girls?” 

The boys hooted. Most of the guys knew that Roz had RUN to the strip club to find the Hollander-Stripper. And he didn’t seem appropriately shamed over it. He wore it like a badge of honor. Kid was fucking twisted.

“Ehh, no, not really. Hollander’s pads just reminded me of your mother’s shoulders, Gravy. They say she is built like a linebacker so I shot my line on her back, yes?” More shouts and hoots from the guys, Cliff laughed too. Roz was funny as hell.

"But don't worry, Gravy, I am not ready to be stepdad yet, I just keep your mom as my number four girl."

“You’re fucking deranged, Rozy,” Hammer said, shaking his head.

Cliff loved his idiot captain.

Chapter End Notes

Carmichael, new to the team: oh wow, this is such a fun team to join!

Cliff and the boys: yeah, we're happy to have you!
Cliff and the boys, *whispering*: shhhh, but just so you know…sometimes Roz crashes out. he gets depressive, or super angry, or manic and we all try to rein him in. you're on deck for that!

Carmy, later: wow, he, uh, left a Rozanov-shaped hole in that wall trying to get to the Shane Hollander stripper
Carmy: he really does crash out, huh?
Carmy: this is the sort of thing you warned me about
Carmy: time to rein him in?

Cliff and the boys: no?
Cliff and the boys:this is literally nothing
Cliff and the boys: doesn't rate. at all

Carmy, terrified: oh, cool...cool, cool, cool

---
I feel it's important for non-book readers to be aware that, canonically, Ilya has a girl he regularly hooks up with who looks a lot like Shane. Just saying. (I DIDN'T INVENT THIS AMOUNT OF EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, I JUST USED IT FOR SILLINESS)

Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

Just a reminder that these are hockey players who say offensive and crude things sometimes. They mostly mean well. I got a little invested in my OC Gravy and figuring out how the boys would support and rib each other, but it's all in fun.

There is some Russian from a drunk and sad Ilya (translations in the end notes). A massive, MASSIVE thank you to butterfly_cosmos for providing Russian! 💕

Thank you all for the comments, kudos and support! I promise I am reading all the comment but haven't had the time to respond to each one. I appreciate all you have to say and will try to make my way back--just in general 💕 THANK YOU FOR READING AND SUPPORTING! 💕

This is unbeta'd and any (polite and helpful) feedback is most welcome!

Pre-season, 2016

It's a new year, a new shot at the Cup. 2015-2016 had been good. When their play was on, it was on, but unfortunately it moved between crisp and tight, and sloppy, disconnected play. It was mostly due to injuries and Coach playing around with the lines, trying to find the right chemistry. The Bears made playoffs but lost in game 5 of the Conference semifinals, and had to watch the fucking Metros take the Cup for the second year in a row. 

Still, it’d been a good year and they were ready to come back and hit the ice twice as hard.

As Alternate Captain, Cliff was part of early pre-season with Roz, watching the rooks and the call-ups try their hand at training camp. Cliff was impressed. With the talent the team had and what the new group was bringing, Cliff could already see the kind of game they’d be able to put up. This year would be fucking beautiful. They were not letting the fucking Metros take the Cup again, even if Cliff had put Hollander through the glass himself.  

Yep, everything was good…except for the mood Roz was bringing to the table.

He was stiff and irritable. Two-hundred and eighteen pounds of fuck off. Roz always came back from summers in Russia with anger to burn. Like it settled into him during his time at home. So, he’d do this, move through the pre-season like a caged tiger. Explosive, hungry energy, just waiting for a chance to pounce. Roz went 200% during team workouts, he went full speed on the ice, and he had zero patience for anyone. Nothing he said was easy. None of it was charming. Usually he’d burn energy and anger like a madman during training, and pull out of it in time for the preseason games. By the time they hit the ice against other teams, his head would be back on straight. He'd be sarcastic but light, and cocky, and Ilya fucking Rozanov.

But from their first day at camp, Cliff could see Roz was worse than ever this year. He’d snarl one and two word answers whenever Cliff would try to check in and get a sense of what the fuck was happening. Eventually, Cliff listened to enough of Roz’s rants after taking a call in Russian that he pieced it together. His dad was sick, probably dying. Which sucked. It was objectively shitty on, like, a human level. 

But it also meant the boiling rage just beneath Roz’s skin probably wouldn’t burn itself off by the season-opening games this time. Which was…interesting. An angry, fury-filled Roz wasn’t the easiest thing to deal with, especially not when he was angry enough to be reckless. But, then again, the last time Cliff had seen Roz this pissed about Russia and his family was after the terrible showing at Olympics. And, despite spending half the season corralling Rozanov and sharing babysitting responsibilities, the Bears had won the fucking Cup that year. So, maybe it wasn't the worst thing if Roz was running on those fumes. 

The day before full-team training began, Cliff stood on his balcony, sweat dripping down the back of his neck from the late summer heat. He could feel it. It was different this year. There was something in the air. It was their fucking year.

The Boys

11:45am

Hammer: sup, ya beauticians! 
Hammer: everyone ready for tomorrow?

Gravy: HELL yeah! 

Carmy: cap, marly, how’s the new talent looking?

Cliff: really fucking good

Roz: passable.

Cliff: passable? fuck that
Cliff: insane talent at camp
Cliff: cup-run year, for sure

Roz: don’t get so fucking excited
Roz: months to go
Roz: no giddy school girl shit
Roz: we work for it 

St. Vicky: you good Roz?

Roz: i’ll be good when we take this shit seriously
Roz: getting excited that rookies can pass
Roz: wtf? 
Roz: you think Montreal is celebrating after camp?
Roz: or NY? or Toronto?
Roz: no, they are working 

Hammer: oh, Rozy WANTS that cup

Roz: first practice tomorrow
Roz: we are serious abt training this year 

Carmy: aye, aye, cap! 
Carmy: we lock the fuck in

Gravy: fuck yeah!

St. Vicky: we doing a team dinner or something?
St. Vicky: get everyone hype for the preseason? 

Cliff: end of week
Cliff: management is renting out a place

Roz: we’ll take the kids clubbing after
Roz: train them how to party
Roz: don’t want rookies to crash and burn bc no one taught them how to drink

St. Vicky: let’s fucking go!!!

Carmy: fuckin’ A!

Sidebar (no Roz)

12:08pm

Carmy: so…
Carmy: Cap came back from Russia in a mood

Gravy: he always does
Gravy: you think he dopes in Russia?

Cliff: YO keep it off phones
Cliff: everyone delete that

St. Vicky: deleted. and no, it’s about his family
St. Vicky: he’s always pissed about family stuff
St. Vicky: but it’s gonna be worse this year 
St. Vicky: his dad is like, dying or something

Cliff: yeah it’s a brain/memory thing
Cliff: like that chick in the notebook

Gravy: oh like alzhimers?
Gravy: allzhighmers* 
Gravy: allshimers**

Hammer: hahahahaha
Hammer: how many concussions is that now?
Hammer: it’s Alzheimer’s, you fuckass

Gravy: alright, whatever
Gravy: i play hockey i don’t have medical degree, fuck 

Hammer: medical degree? do you even have GED?

Gravy: idk wtf that is

Carmy: wait, so Roz’s dad is dying from alzheimer’s? 

St. Vicky: yeah and he’s gonna be really pissed
St. Vicky: so everyone be on deck for that shit

Carmy: pissed? not sad?

Cliff: mmm, more likely to hit something than cry, yeah

Carmy: but he wants to do a club on Friday though
Carmy: can’t be too bad, right?

St. Vicky: LOL
St. Vicky: it can

Carmy: do we try to keep him out of clubs?

Cliff: no, just be ready to step in and stop a fight

Hammer: and don’t let him take anything that’ll amp him up
Hammer: if he’s partying, steer him to sedatives/booze/downers only (delete this)
Hammer: and everyone bring a sharpie

Carmy: a sharpie? 
Carmy: like a marker?

Hammer: if he gets slurring-drunk I write Marly’s number on his arm

Cliff: you write on my arm?

Hammer: no, on Roz’s
Hammer: so you can bail him out or pick him up or whatever

Cliff: wtf?
Cliff: that shit was you???
Cliff: i had to drive out to agawam to get him from fucking six flags the cup year
Cliff: said he didn’t know whose number was on his arm, he just called it

Hammer: hahaha, coach was so pissed you guys missed practice

Cliff: fuck you, hammersmith!!
Cliff: they make you sign in to their little jail cell thing 
Cliff: we both got banned from six flags
Cliff: now I gotta take my niece to universal in the spring

Cliff: nobody write my fucking number on Roz’s arm
Cliff: why am I the designated Roz-driver?

Hammer: you got the A, man

St. Vicky: you do got the A, marly

Gravy: I can’t actually drive 
Gravy: so don't put me down

Cliff: oh, dui?

Gravy: yeah 😔

Carmy: he’s lying
Carmy: he couldn’t pass the written exam
Carmy: his mom told me

Hammer: LOL
Hammer: Gravy, deadass can you read?
Hammer: bc you need to get like 3 questions right on that test
Hammer: and it’s multiple choice 
Hammer: and it’s for children
Hammer: like, for 15 year old children

Gravy: everyone put Hammer’s number on Cap’s arm

Cliff: seconded

Cliff, Vic, and Hammersmith had a side bet going. Who was Roz going to hit first? Cliff bet he wouldn’t make it through training without fighting a teammate during a scrimmage. Vic said a preseason fight, and Hammer had money on a barroom brawl. 

In the end, Roz got a 4 game suspension, a $75,000 fine, and St. Simon made a cool two grand. It was a pre-season match in Philly when a defenseman named Cecily hit one of the Bears’ rookies. The hit was late, square in the numbers, and straight into the boards. An automatic suspension for Cecily. 

Roz went nuts. 

Cliff fought his way past two Philly forwards just to help the refs pull Roz off. Cecily was barely conscious, incoherent and muttering and Roz was still hitting him. Roz even caught one of the refs with a mostly-believable-as-unintentional elbow as Cliff finally shoved him off the ice. Hammer had the foresight to stand beside Roz until they walked toward the tunnel which was extremely fortunate because when a fan clapped sarcastically, Roz fucking lunged. All teeth and blood. If Hammer hadn’t been there to bear-hug Cap and frog-march him to the locker room, there’d be an assault charge too.

“Pay up,” Vic smirked when Cliff and Hammer returned to the bench.

Fall 2016

“How did you tell Nicole you wanted to be exclusive?”

Cliff looked up at Roz. They were waiting in the private lounge for the pre-flight check to be complete so they could board. Roz looked down, face pinched. Like it was some major annoyance to be asking Cliff for advice.  

Admittedly, Roz’d been a bit calmer the last few days. Well, less angry, if not actually calm. He still had that tightness about him, that barely-contained energy spilling out. But in the last few days it had tipped toward the kind of giddy mania that accompanied his good moods. Cliff had hoped maybe Roz was finally getting into the groove of the season, but maybe Roz was nervous and excited about his girl.

“Uhh, I took her on vacation, and on the flight back I told her that I’m like really, really dumb.”

Roz raised one eyebrow at him. “She did not know this already?”

“Fuck you, you asked me, man. I just told her that I usually fuck stuff up because I never know what I’m supposed to be doing, and like, I wanted to be with her but I needed her to know how dumb I am. And that anything I do or say that she doesn’t like I probably didn’t mean it that way, and like, whatever she tells me to do, I’ll do it.” Cliff racked his brain for a minute, trying to remember if there was anything else that was relevant. “And…yeah, then we went exclusive.” 

Roz just blinked down at him a few times. “The foundation of your relationship is you are too stupid to hold accountable, and that she should remember this whenever she talks to you?”

Cliff thought for a minute, but yeah, that about summed it up. “Uhh, I guess?”

“You are worst person to ask, I don’t what the fuck I was thinking,” Roz said and turned away, muttering to himself in Russian. Cliff caught the word durak which he knew meant "dumbass" and several variations of “fuck” or “fucking hell” but everything else was well beyond Cliff’s limited knowledge of Russian curses. 

Hammer looked up at Cliff. “Maybe he should tell her he’s horny but for hanging out, that’d probably sweep her off her feet, right?”

Cliff and Vic laughed as they gathered their shit to board the plane.

The Boys

11:14am

Roz: feeling the need to celebrate 

Cliff: no suspension or fine?
Cliff: that hit against Dillion was borderline at best

Roz: no, was textbook hit
Roz: get your fucking eyes checked
Roz: and dilly is fine
Roz: he called your mother a whore, btw

Cliff: he calls everyone’s mom a whore
Cliff: that’s like his only thing

Roz: not me
Roz: he did once
Roz: and then I checked him so hard he blacked out and told him to keep my dead mother’s name out of his mouth 
Roz: and now he doesn’t know what to say to me
Roz: so I always win 😊

Cliff: you’re a fucking menace

Roz: yes
Roz: and i need to celebrate, good roadie! all wins!

St. Vicky: fuckin’ a

Roz: evening flight later, so strip club for lunch?

Cliff: pass

Hammer: pass

Gravy: i’ll celly with you
Gravy: can we do something else though?

Roz: like what?

Gravy: idk, smoke weed and play video games?

Roz: so fucking boring
Roz: come to my room

Sidebar (no Roz)

9:20pm

Gravy: okay, this week has been good, actually
Gravy: Roz actually seems happy 
Gravy: maybe we’re on the other side of this?

St. Vicky: God, I fucking hope so
St. Vicky: if not I’m pushing molly on him for the next two weeks
St. Vicky: can’t take much more of this moody bullshit

Carmy: molly another girl?

St. Vicky: i’ll put it in his fucking water bottle, idc

Hammer: aww, baby Carmy

Carmy: oh, that molly
Carmy: wait, what happens in two weeks?

Cliff: metros come to Boston
Cliff: automatic high for Roz
Cliff: nothing improves his mood like playing Hollander

Gravy: don’t get me wrong
Gravy: I’ll be happy to see the Russian timebomb defused
Gravy: but like, his whole thing has helped the team
Gravy: like our cup year
Gravy: we’re insane out there rn

Hammer: fuck off, gravy!
Hammer: you don’t give a shit abt that
Hammer: you’re just enjoying the 100k he dropped on strippers across three states this week

St. Vicky: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PLAY FIFA WITH HIM! 

Gravy: WELL he wanted strippers, Vic!
Gravy: I’m his chaparone, not his mom

Gravy: actually, one of the girls looked a bit like Scott Hunter
Gravy: not hollander-stripper level lookalike or anything
Gravy: but, you know, similar…ish

Cliff: oh god, Roz fuck her too?

Gravy: nope, I made that joke and he was PISSED
Gravy: he said, and I quote, “Scott Hunter is the fucking crypt keeper, if my dick got near anything that even looks like him it’d age by 50 years and I’d start shooting dust, but go get some Gravy, then you'll never need a viscetomy” 

Carmy: LOL

Gravy: vicectomy
Gravy: vasectimy 

Gravy: whatever the fuck

Hammer: like, you’re functionally illiterate, right?
Hammer: i know we joke but seriously the team can get you a tutor

Gravy: fuck off

St. Vicky: wait
St. Vicky: this is gonna sound weird
St. Vicky: but, not fucking the hunter stripper...cap's gotta be feeling better, right?

Carmy: 100k on strippers he doesn’t want to fuck is better?

Cliff: yeah, i’m with Vicky
Cliff: if he was still spiraling he’d have been after her

Carmy: so, when he fucks a hollander-stripper he’s fine, just a little manic
Carmy: but if he fucks a scott hunter stripper he’s a seething pit of rage and sorrow?

Cliff: i mean, yeah?

St. Vicky: hollander’s game is immaculate
St. Vicky: hunter’s been playing like ass
St. Vicky: that’d be some self-loathing shit if he hit

Cliff: yup
Cliff: exactly

Carmy: ???

Cliff: some of us live the game, man
Cliff: it’s fine, don’t be weird about it

Carmy: I feel I’m actually being very normal here

Gravy: Hammer, did you sign me up for fucking Hooked on Phonics???

In the days leading up to the first game against MTL of the season, Roz was practically vibrating. All puppy-dog joy, no more fucking caged-tiger energy. He was on fire on the ice too. Six straight wins and the team was clicking. So when Roz showed up for the game looking like a kicked puppy, Cliff was left scratching his head as to what in the fuck had happened. 

Roz’s pre-game peptalk was limited to a small, “Try not to fuck up out there,” followed by a complete disassociation during the game itself. It was shit. Roz might as well have not been there at all. The only good thing was that Hollander was off too. He didn’t exploit the Bears’ sloppy play the way he’d usually have and in the end fucking Gravy scored the only goal of the game.

Shit was weird for a few days. Roz didn’t party or drink. He showed up to practices and their next game but didn’t have that current of fury pushing him. He was barely fucking there. Half the time Cliff looked at him he seemed ready to throw himself out a window. Every once in a while there’d be a quick flash of anger, something raw and livid, but it’d die down just as fast. Cliff was used to the sustained anger. He was used to Roz being nothing but snarls and yelps for weeks at a time. What he wasn’t used to was…whatever this version of Roz was. Practically fucking suicidal. 

His dad was sick back in Russia, Cliff knew. Must be fucking frustrating to be a continent away. And he must be freaking out about trying to go exclusive with his Montreal girl, because their first game in Montreal was just a few weeks away and Roz was worse than ever. Cliff was resolved to try it bring it up, maybe talk about him and Nicole and see what Roz had to say.

Then he got a 9-1-1 text from Hammer a few days after their near-loss to Montreal.

Sidebar (no Roz)

6:20pm

Hammer: we’re at break-glass-in-case-of-emergency levels here
Hammer: cap’s crashing out

Cliff: bender?

Hammer: worse
Hammer: [instagram post from @therealrozanov, picture of the Charles River through a rainy window, mazzy star’s fade in to you playing over it]

Cliff: mazzy star??
Cliff: fuuuuuuuck

Hammer: I’ll take tonight, Chinese food and video games, I guess 

Cliff: i’ll babysit him at the clubs this roadie

Carmy: what are we supposed to do?

St. Vicky: keep him out of jail, out of the ER, and off the news

Carmy: but like, how???

Hammer: distract and deflect, man, distract and deflect
Hammer: work out, play video games, hit the clubs, eat, sleep and breathe puck
Hammer: don't leave him space for anything else

It was a brutal roadie. Roz was pissy, sad and withdrawn. He was too sad to talk much, and just pissy as hell whenever he did. He didn’t even want to hit the clubs, but seemed to need to go out somewhere. He needed to drink, seemed to need the noise and the movement. At least his gameplay was on. That was good, it was better than Cliff had expected, really.

The third night of the roadie, Roz and Cliff sat at a booth in the back of a crowded bar. 

“How are you and Nicole?”

“We’ve been on again off again a while, off again the last month. But we’re gonna get dinner when we’re back in Boston. I dunno, man. Nicole and I have ups and downs. We sorta moved in together but she keeps kicking me or herself out, so it’s more of the same, really.”

Roz looked at him, confused. “And this works, you like this?”

Cliff shrugged. “Sure. We’re together and it’s good, then we fight, split up, we fuck, make up, get back together and play house again until the next fight. I dunno. It works.”

“This is working?”

Cliff sipped his drink. “Yup. Works for me. Why, you wanna talk about your shit? Is it your girl? Your family? What?” 

The face Roz made was downright terrifying. Cliff internally readjusted the likelihood that Roz would be arrested on this roadie. Like, for stabbing Cliff for asking nosy questions, maybe.

“No, Marly, I don’t wanna talk about my fucking shit,” Roz spat. “About how I fucked it all up. My father always said I’m ungrateful, can’t be happy with what’s given, ask for too fucking much. Should have listened.” Roz threw back another shot. “I’m going to find a woman. Maybe you should call yours, you stupid prick.”

Cliff gave a forced laugh because holy shit. So, this was Roz heartbroken, then. His girl sent him packing. Cliff kept half an eye on Roz as he moved around the bar and flirted with some freckled brunette. It didn’t escape Cliff’s notice that Roz slipped out the backdoor a half hour later, alone.

Dec, 2016

Admittedly, Shane Hollander was probably the player with the most break-through mainstream fame, but it was bonkers that his relationship with Rose Landry was fucking everywhere. They’d been pap’d a few times and it was all over the fucking news. Even the local Boston stations were mentioning it. It was enough they had to face Hollander in Montreal in a few days, Cliff really didn’t need the pretty boy’s face all over his TV too. 

He flipped to another channel and drank his protein smoothie while he watched Antiques Roadshow. 

Sidebar (no Roz)

6:34pm

Carmy: we need more intervening
Carmy: he’s posting fucking tori amos and drake?
Carmy: like, mins apart
Carmy: wtf is this vibe, even?

St. Vicky: putting the damage on slaps
St. Vicky: but i cannot listen to marvin’s room again

Hammer: I’ll do tonight at his house
Hammer: someone else pull up too, could use backup to keep conversation moving

Cliff: nicole is pissed at me again, so I’m in for tonight

The Boys

6:40pm

Hammer: got the new FIFA!
Hammer: Cap, I’m coming over 
Hammer: anyone else in?

Roz: whast it mean if regular hookup left angry last time we fuck
Roz: never text me back?
Roz: like a month ago?
Roz: then abd this week posts pics with someone? 

Gravy: uhhh, it prly means she’s with the guy she’s posting
Gravy: sorry, cap

Roz: should i text? send dm on insta?
Roz: like, ‘hello, r u missing all 9 inches of me?’

Cliff: you been drinking, Rozy?

Roz: yes, dubmass
Roz: очевидно блять

St. Vicky: no, man, wtf
St. Vicky: put your phone in the fridge, now
St. Vicky: don’t text her shit

Roz: да нормально все
Roz: Нехуй губу раскатывать просто
Roz: Не срослось и ладно
Roz: Больно конечно. Ну поболит и перестанет

Hammer: you're doing the robot language thing again
Hammer: is this a 'don't translate I'm just venting' or a 'I can't figure out English, please translate' thing?

Roz: Да похуй, делай что хочешь. Я больше об этом не заикнусь. Позорище ебаное.

Roz: Боженька есть, потому что кто тогда сделал совершенство. Но он жестокий потому что хуй тебе, а не совершенство
Roz: Тело один хрен все помнит. Но может хоть тупое сердце забудет.

Roz: iam god's weakest most worthless solider

Gravy: oh, nooo, cap, not true, we love you

Roz: marly, when nicole is mad
Roz: how you fix with her?

Cliff: idk. I just let her cool off then beg her to take me back
Cliff: I’m in for FIFA. I’ll bring tacos

Carmy: why’s your girl angry, Roz? what happened 

 

Sidebar (no Roz)

6:42pm

Cliff: Carmy SHUT THE FUCK UP
Cliff: distract, don’t dig in

Carmy: maybe he needs to talk about it?

St. Vicky: lmao, yeah great idea
St. Vicky: let's ask ILYA FUCKING ROZANOV the angriest Russian in the world
St. Vicky: the one who has been banished to a foreign country since he was 17
St. Vicky: who prly won't see his dad again until he's in a casket
St. Vicky: whose girl is now fucking someone else
St. Vicky: the one who started babbling in Russian about god and perfection and the cruelty of the universe
St. Vicky: let's ask him to dig in on why he's angry and sad even though there's nothing he can do to change it

Hammer: and 1/5 of his support network cannot read in any language 

Gravy: ouch

St. Vicky: what part of distract and deflect did you miss, man?

The Boys 

6:44pm

Roz: i ask my Jane
Roz: to spend night
Roz: we never do this, but s he say yes 
Roz: i make lumch  
Roz: we fuck, we relax, hang out
Roz: i  talk about like, fuckin g other people
Roz: how i like fucking women 
Roz: but was tyr to say i maybe don’t want that anymore
Roz: bc i just wan t my jane
Roz: all I really say tho is my hane has a good and pretty mouth

St. Vicky: jfc, dude

Roz: and sh ej ane laughed and kiss me
Roz: then i cum, she cums, she runs away 

Carmy: oh, yeah, that's, wow
Carmy: I don’t…

Roz: now I see the fucking pictures 

Carmy: shit man, sorry 

Cliff: yeah, sorry, Roz

Roz: is fine.

Roz: Нихуя не осталось. Ни матери, ни Джейн. Только батя при смерти.
Roz: Хотя бы в хоккей пока еще можно играть

Hammer: sucks, Roz sorry

Hammer: marly I’ll do tacos

Sidebar (no Roz)

6:48pm

Cliff: anyone else put that shit through google translate?
Cliff: waaaaaaay worse than usual
Cliff: he's talking about wanting nothing, having nothing but hockey

St. Vicky: yeah…hammer and marly, get the fuck over there
St. Vicky: bring him lots of weed and tacos
St. Vicky: cuz he’s about to kill himself 

 

11:43pm

Carmy: he talk about his girl?

Hammer: mostly he muttered Russian to himself and threw up

Cliff: he started talking about Hollander’s stats at one point, too
Cliff: asked what counts as a sustained dip in play
Cliff: said hollander's off his game
Cliff: we’re off to MTL in a few days, so idk, maybe the rivalry can pull his focus?

The Montreal game was the worst Roz had played in weeks. Since the last time they faced the Metros, actually. He was barely fucking there. They lost, 1-0, and aside from slamming Hollander into the boards twice as hard as usual, he might as well have sat out. The only signs of life came after the game when Roz was suddenly pissed again and wanted to hit a club. Cliff thought it was a terrible idea, but he was still on the outs with Nicole, so he went along. Half the team did.

Team Chat

11:20pm

Seb: yooooo!
Seb: Rose Landry is here with fucking Shane Hollander, haha

Cliff: oh, word? I saw that they were together

Rook 2.0: fuck! I should have come out

Connors: yeah, I saw them at a table
Connors: she is crazy hot and famous, wtf

St. Vicky: insane pull, tbh

Seb: Roz, you here still, or did you leave with that girl?

Cliff: he left earlier

Seb: nice, that chick was crazy hot

She was, actually. She was super hot, and Roz had practically fucked her on the dance floor. But then he left, and Cliff could clearly see that same woman was now making out with someone else. Which didn’t make much sense. Roz had that look in his eye, he needed a fuck or a fight or probably both and then he was going to tear shit down anyway. So why the fuck would he sneak off without a hook up? 

Roz

1:42am

Roz: marly, you have ket?

Cliff: no, man. no

Roz: ugh
Roz: i’m gonna fucking kill someone

Cliff: yooo??

Roz: jane was at the club tonight

Cliff: oh, shit
Cliff: that's why you ran off
Cliff: what do you wanna do?

Roz: put my fucking fist through something

Roz: took all of two weeks to find someone else
Roz: fucking years at this point, marly
Roz: it all meant nothing, the whole time?
Roz: wtf?

Cliff: idk, man
Cliff: it’s shitty, I’m sorry
Cliff: we'll work the heavy bag next practice

Cliff: want to come to my room?
Cliff: we can watch Shrek again

Roz: fucking no

2:35am

Roz: but if you download the second one i will watch tomorrow

January 2017

Roz was still delivering on the ice but off the ice he was a liability more than ever, and that was bleeding into games, too. He got a one-game suspension for a late fight with some mouthy right wing from fucking Columbus. He got a speeding ticket on 93 that should have been felony given how fast he was driving. Cliff had to tell him to careful what the fuck and how much he put in his car and to remember there was a difference between "personal use" vs. "intent to distribute."  Roz's knuckles were always bruised and bleeding because he couldn't let a day go by without beating the shit out of a punching bag. Between Cliff and the rest of the boys they stopped at least four bar room fights. 

Even Coach pulled Cliff aside to ask what the fuck was going on and what Cliff was doing about it.

“His dad’s dying and his girl broke his heart. We’re keeping an eye on him, but what else are we supposed to do?”

Coach didn’t have an answer either. 

The big question was how the fuck Roz would do at the All Stars game. He was the only one from the team going, which meant no one could keep an eye on him. He was liable to fight half the guys there for no fucking reason, and there were enough public events and social drinking that Cliff was sure it was going to end in an arrest or, at the very least, a media scandal. 

Sidebar (no Roz)

10:14am

Carmy: today’s the day 
Carmy: do we think he’ll survive all star weekend?

Hammer: nope

St. Vicky: no

Cliff: prly not, no

Gravy: nope

Carmy: ‘k

Cliff: I put it out to a few guys in the ppb chat
Cliff: vaughn says he’d keep an eye out

Gravy: ppb chat?

St. Vicky: pretty party boys. it’s a secret chat 
St. Vicky: for the hottest, funnest players 

Hammer: sorry, you didn’t get the votes, Grave
Hammer: it was unanimous. too ugly

Carmy: i didn’t ask and don’t wanna know, don't tell me

Hammer: carmy was two votes shy

Carmy: oh…thanks? 

Hammer: marly has admin privileges and didn’t override for either of you

Gravy: but why does he get an override vote? marly isn't THAT pretty

Cliff: it's shit like this, graves

St. Vicky: he handles admin business, man

Gravy: wtf kind of business is there?

Hammer: pretty boys take their partying seriously 😎😎😎

 

10:15pm

Cliff: Vaughny says Roz is fine

St. Vicky: fine like leaving everyone alone?

Cliff: fine like, he's good
Cliff: wore a fucking hawaiian shirt, sat at the bar
Cliff: joked around with Hollander, I guess
Cliff: played sharks and minnows in the pool with a bunch of kids
Cliff: all charming and shit

Carmy: maybe he got better?

Gravy: maybe his girl took him back?

Hammer: he looked good in the skills comp
Hammer: sharp, cocky, his usual self

St. Vicky: do we think it's like when depressed people act fine but then they start giving away all their shit and kill themselves?

Cliff: vaughn was at the game practice
Cliff: said Roz and Hollander were insane on the same line
Cliff: said the game is gonna be unreal tomorrow, exhibition or no

Gravy: wait, I have a question though
Gravy: like, exactly how pretty do you have to be to be in the chat?
Gravy: what's the threshold? who’s the ugliest guy in there?

St. Vicky: hammer, for sure

Cliff: yeah, it’s hammer

Hammer: me by a mile, but I make up for it bc i’m FUN

Gravy: fuck, okay, Hammer isn’t like HOT-hot but I guess he’s hotter than me
Gravy: is he hotter than Carmichael though?
Gravy: I feel like Carmy is hotter than Hammer, no?

Carmy: oh god just leave me out of this conversation

Gravy: who else is in the chat?

Hammer: you can't hang out with us, sorry, bro

Gravy: is cap in it? hollander? barrett? scott fucking hunter? who??

St. Vicky: 🤐

The Boys

8:45pm 

Cliff: Rozanov! what a fucking game!! 
Cliff: you and Hollander??
Cliff: so goddamn BEAUTIFUL out there

Roz: i am a god
Roz: i am unstoppable
Roz: my greatness is unknowable

Cliff: Hollander did pretty good too

Roz: yes
Roz: we are compatible like that
Roz: is good for everyone else we are not always on same line
Roz: God took pity on you all, split us up 

Roz: i no longer think God is cruel
Roz: i think he gives us talents and desires and sets us on our path
Roz: and i am one of his favorites, his chosen

Hammer: just a guess, but you hear from your girl again, cap?

Roz: yes!!
Roz: my jane 😍
Roz: i heard yesterday
Roz: THEY BROKE UP!!
Roz: going to fuck her brains out tonight

St. Vicky: fucking hell
St. Vicky: good on you, man

St. Vicky: wait, she’s flying into Tampa???

Roz: she had work thing
Roz: here, in florida
Roz: coming to meet me tonight

Cliff: oh hell yeah!!
Cliff: congrats man

Hammer: nice, Rozy!

Cliff: and like…you’re good, right?
Cliff: like, we can cancel the suicide watch?

Roz: marly.
Roz: i am not a child
Roz: you idiots do not need to babysit me
Roz: normally i’d be pissed and say FUCK YOU MARLY
Roz: but my jane has me in a good mood
Roz: everything is fine
Roz: it has BEEN fine
Roz: did not know you were so sensitive you’d call in conspiracy just bc I’m in pissy mood
Roz: but i’m actually a hockey god 
Roz: and a sex god 
Roz: and you can all go back to fucking off now

Cliff: sure, of course
Cliff: enjoy the crazy unhinged sex with your girl

Cliff: can i delete the shrek movies from my harddrive?

Roz: no, Shrek has nothing to do with my bad mood
Roz: just good movie series
Roz: any other dumb questions?

Gravy: yeah, Cap, are you in the secret chat for hot/pretty players?

Roz: oh, Gravy
Roz: there are many such chats
Roz: and you aren’t pretty enough for any of them

Roz: don’t waste time being sad, tho
Roz: do your hooked on phonics!
Roz: once you can read, we can add you to the book club chat
Roz: current book is 100 years of solitude 

Gravy: there’s a book club chat?

Cliff: eric bennet runs it

Gravy: marly, you’re in it???
Gravy: you read books??

Cliff: i don’t but i like to read Roz’s essay answers

Roz: marly proof reads my responses
Roz: we both learn new english words this way
Roz: is fun

Carmy: wait exactly how many group chats and side clubs are you all in?
Carmy: i’m only in like two others…

St. Vicky: i’m in lots

Hammer: tons

Cliff: just like eight or nine

Gravy: none?? 
Gravy: are you the only fuckers in the league that like me?

Roz: actually, I got kicked out of the recipe chat 
Roz: aucoin kept asking for authentic russian recipes
Roz: but i hate his team so i kept rickrolling
Roz: ignored the warnings and jonesy banned me for rest of season
Roz: anyway, I need a recipe idea for my Jane 

Roz: want to cook for her when I am in montreal next month
Roz: tuna melts did NOT work out last time

St. Vicky: roz.
St. Vicky: cap.
St. Vicky: buddy.
St. Vicky: did you… 
St. Vicky: did you make your girl a tuna sandwich, tell her you liked fucking other women, say she had a good mouth, then go on suicide watch when she found herself another man for a hot minute?

Roz: yes?
Roz: why are you saying like this?
Roz: i was GOING to say i want to be exclusive
Roz: that half the girls i’m with have brown eyes and freckles bc i can’t get enough
Roz: but my jane ran away before I got that far
Roz: was it not a good plan?

Gravy: even i know that was dumb, cap

Cliff: I told you, man
Cliff: should have started it off by telling her you’re the dumbest motherfucker she ever met
Cliff: if you did she prly would have heard you out and you could have explained it better
Cliff: just saying. works for me with nicole

Roz: …
Roz: is that actually a smart plan? 
Roz: oh my god
Roz: i can’t believe fucking marly’s advice might have worked

Gravy: wait, so you’re exclusive with her now?

Roz: no, we are going slower than that
Roz: talking and chatting more
Roz: we’ll see how things go

Gravy: so, like, you’ll keep sleeping around or you don’t care if she sleeps around?
Gravy: are you gonna make her a WAG?
Gravy: also, does this mean Jane has freckles?

Roz has removed Gravy from The Boys chat

Roz: i’m going to see Jane any minute now
Roz: cannot deal with fucking gravy asking every stupid thought in his ugly little head

Cliff: he’s gonna be insufferable until he finds a group chat

Roz: maybe there is one for stupid, ugly players he can join?
Roz: Carmy, can you add him ?

Hammer: LOL

Carmy: yo, wtf?? 
Carmy: my other player group chats are the ‘11 draft class
Carmy: and the big bang theory watch group

Roz: yes, the second one

Cliff: literally the second one

Hammer: you actually are hot enough for the ppb chat, Carmy, but come on, man
Hammer: like, you see why we can’t add you, right?

Carmy: I do see it
Carmy: like, I get it

Roz added Gravy to The Boys chat

Gravy: ugh, i’m sorry, i’m sorry
Gravy: don’t kick me out again, i’ll be cool, i swear

Roz: wait...shut up
Roz: want to say thank you all, even though your dumb interventions were not needed
Roz: and I'm not a baby, I am fine and was fine and would have been fine
Roz: but thank you for the strippers, and clubs, and drugs, and video games and Pixar movies
Roz: thank you for making noise and distracting me 
Roz: like baby looking at jingling key set

St. Vicky: awww, we love you too, cap!

Cliff: we do, Roz, glad you're doing good, man
Cliff: was fun to be with you anyway
Cliff even when you're a bag of dicks

Hammer: love you, cap!

Carmy: we really do

Roz: love you idiots
Roz: now everyone fuck off
Roz: shutting my phone off for the next 12 hrs

Cliff: lmao, 12 hours? 
Cliff: hell yeah, brother!

Hammer: Roz and Montreal Jane not beating the freak for freak allegations

Roz: 🍆 💦 😇 🍆 💦 👅 🍑 🕰️

Gravy: idk exactly what Roz means by all that but I get the jist
Gravy: just happy to be back in the chat

Hammer: it's gist not jist

Gravy: what the fuck is the point of phonics if there are exceptions to every fucking word???
Gravy: idk why I bother!

Chapter End Notes

Russian translations:

очевидно блять - obviously

да нормально все - It's okay
Нехуй губу раскатывать просто- This is why we shouldn't want things
Не срослось и ладно - Then it's okay if we don't get them
Больно конечно. Ну поболит и перестанет - And it only hurts a little. Pain is fleeting, really.

Да похуй, делай что хочешь. Я больше об этом не заикнусь. Позорище ебаное. - I don't care, do whatever you want. I'll never talk about it again. It's fucking embarrassing.

Боженька есть, потому что кто тогда сделал совершенство. Но он жестокий потому что хуй тебе, а не совершенство. - I think God exists because there is perfection, but God is cruel because those perfect things are forbidden.
Тело один хрен все помнит. Но может хоть тупое сердце забудет. - My body can't forget, but maybe my stupid heart can.

Нихуя не осталось. Ни матери, ни Джейн. Только батя при смерти. - There is nothing. No mother, no Jane, just a dying father.
Хотя бы в хоккей пока еще можно играть - At least we have hockey.

 

 
----
 

After Shane is pap'd with Rose Landry:

Ilya: I know that God is real because I have known the sublime perfection of my lover's body against mine. But I also know that God is deeply cruel, for that bliss is now beyond my reach forever and all the world feels cold without it. To walk only an hour in the sunlight is to walk in the darkness forevermore.

Cliff and the boys: oh no! shit, man, that sucks

After Shane and Ilya talk at the All Stars game:

Ilya: God loves me, Ilya Rozanov, personally. I may in fact BE a god. Who else could have such talent, such passion? Who else has glimpsed the fabric of the universe after experiencing mind-altering orgasm after mind-altering orgasm? I may have transcended humanity, somehow

Cliff and the boys: hell yeah, brother!