what is it that wise men say? (only fools rush in)

Situation Room

JJ
Men, I have gathered you here to discuss a matter of utmost importance
Why not just talk in the Boyageurs chat?

JJ
Because I do not want Pikesy to see
Mitty
Are we planning a surprise party?
Comeau
oh, hell yeah
If that’s what we’re doing, we should invite Jackie too.

JJ
NO
DO NOT INVITE JACKIE OR HAYDEN
Comeau
?????
Drapeau
Jesus, what the fuck is the matter?
JJ, are you okay?

JJ

sorry for the caps but that was almost an emergency
I think Jackie might be cheating on Hayden
Taylor
What?
Mitty
No fucking way
Why do you think that, Jay?

JJ
Liana invited me on a day trip with her friends and their boyfriends
Comeau
So you're Liana's boyfriend now and not just her personal dildo?
JJ
This is not about me rn
We were in a little town in vermont and I saw jackie there
Mitty
With a guy?
JJ
with cliff marleau
Taylor
Well, we have to kill that guy
Comeau
a fucking bear???? never pegged jackie for a slut or a traitor
Mitty
Shit.
Drapeau
what a fucking whore
Mitty
poor hayden…
JJ, did you confront Hayden about this?
JJ
non capitaine, I have no proof
and there is a nonzero chance it wasnt them. i only saw them a few minutes and there far away
if one of you came to me and said my girl was cheating on me, i would want proof
Drapeau
your girl, who you’re totally actually serious about this time
JJ
this isn’t about me rn!!!!!!!
ANYWAY we have a game in boston in two weeks
Why would Jackie and Marleau be in Vermont?
JJ
to conduct their illicit affair capitaine!
you think everyone is as good and gold as you, but there snaked in the world!
Comeau
wow, poetic
Mitty
Fuck off, Gil. JJ’s right: we need proof.
What were they doing? Maybe they’re friends.
JJ
they were going to a wine bar together! that's a date! that's romance!
Drapeau
Why would Pike's wife be friends with a Bear?
Jackie likes wine, and Marleau makes his own beer. Maybe they have that in common. And this is assuming it even was them.
I'm just saying I don't like jumping to conclusions. And I trust Jackie.
JJ
that is how they get you, capitaine!
Who is the "they" in that sentence, JJ? Cause I don't like you guys calling any woman a slut or a whore, but especially the wife of a teammate. It's disrespectful and uncalled for. None of us are Dallas Kent and we don't need to be acting like him.
We absolutely do not know that Jackie is cheating on Hayden, and even if she is, that makes her a cheater, not a whore.
Drapeau
sorry cap
Comeau
jeeze, sorry princess
Mitty
Gils, come on: Shane’s right. It was rude.
JJ
when I say “they” I mean cheaters, capitaine. i would never dispreact women like that. you know I love them
Mitty
And we are jumping to conclusions.
JJ
this is a perfectly jumpable conclusion!
Drapeau
Okay, so what's the plan? Try to catch them together when we play boston? doesn't jackie stay home with the kids on roadtrips?
JJ
oui, but she has time to drive 2.5 hours to see her sidepiece in vermont!
Why don’t we just ask Jackie?
Comeau
are you crazy?
Taylor
Hollander, I love you, but you have the street smarts of a chicken egg
JJ
non capitaine!!!! She will lie, and then she will know we are onto her!
we must be smart about it
JJ
this is a perfectly jumpable conclusion!
Taylor
wouldn’t it make more sense to catch them in the act the next time boston comes up here?
JJ
but that isn’t for a while!
non, we keep an eye on Marleau while he is here
invite the bears out to one of our haunts
Comeau
ew, no. why would we want to party with those assholes?
JJ
it’s a strategy!
this is pike we are talking about!!!!! Out teammate! Our BROTHER

Hayden Pike

Hey Hayden, did Jackie and Cliff have a couples weekend to themselves recently?

Yeah, during our last three day break. Why?

[You sent several screenshots]

Oh, fuck.

We thought Burlington was safe because it’s so out of the way

What macho hockey asshole is vacationing in a gay tourist town in Vermont?

JJ, apparently

Not that he’s an asshole. He’s really worried about you, and doesn’t want you to get hurt.

That is kind of heartening

Hang on

Team Burlington

Hayden
Okay, we need to strategize
Jackie
Hayden read me in.
Marleau
what's going on?
Jackie
We were spotted:(
Marleau
in burlington???
JJ was there with his girlfriend.

Marleau
shit!
Hayden
We have a couple options here
We could come out. I know it's before we're ready, but that might be better than being investigated by the guys
Or, we could convince the guys that JJ is wrong, and he saw someone else in Burlington
Jackie
Does this mean we can't go back to V&V? That place is starting to be a home away from home:(
And we were supposed to go to Mac's birthday party!
Mac?
Hayden
Marty Mac
THE Marty Mac?
Jackie
He was Cliffy's mentor :D
Marleau
he lives in burlington with his boyfriend now
Marty Mac is gay??????
Hayden
I know right!
Marleau
he's turning 55 and milo (bf) is throwing a big thing at Vino + Veritas, the wine bar where jackie, hayden, and I “met”
Hayden
Where things got started with us
Marleau
we were going to invite you and rozie
but i guess that can't happen now?
It could! We would just have to be careful.
It's not like JJ's going to be there again, right?
I don't want you guys to have to come out before you're ready, is all.
Hayden
And you wanna come to Mac's birthday.
Also I would really like to meet Marty Mac, yes.
Marleau
wow, hollander voluntarily going to a party…
Jackie
We were going to invite him anyway!!
Hayden
So: it sounds like our best bet is subterfuge
We convince JJ he didn't see what he thought he saw
Maybe Jackie and I spent those days together at home
Jackie
Yeah!
Marleau
i'll talk to roz and cons. we can say we had a boys' weekend on those days
Their plan is to invite the Bears to a bar after our game in two weeks. You three should go and brag about what a good time you had.
Marleau added 2 people to the conversation
Marleau
alright, boys: cover's blown
Unknown Number
Fuck!
You saved new contact: Connors
Lily
we can trick voyageurs. easy.
Connors
I bet Dagenais knows all the good party joints anyway.
Hayden
Good talk, team
Connors
Heey: who all is invited to marty mac’s bday, cause... 👀
Marleau
yes, you can come

Team Burlington

Hayden
I think it worked!
Marly
yeah, they bought that shit wholesale
Jackie
Shane? News from the group chat?
Hollander
Nothing yet. I'll keep you guys posted.
Rozie
now we can start planning road trip to famous burlington, hm?
Yeah! Me, roz and marls can carpool
Hayden
And we can drive with Shane. We're bringing the girls, too. They love the bookstore, and Mac wants to meet them.
That's fucking precious
Jackie
This is the place we usually book if you guys wanna get rooms: tinyurl.btly/featherbed

Team Burlington

Hollander
Hey guys, I know it’s early but it looks like the plan worked:
Holander sent a screenshot

Team Burlington

Hayden
We’re leaving in a few minutes
Rozie
we are on road already. Marly is a fucking monster
He’s a real taskmaster, got us up and out like an hour ago
Jackie
We'll see you there ^-^
Marly says he misses you
Jackie
Tell him 💋💋💋💋💋😍😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘😘😘
Jackie
And Hayden’s driving but he says 😘😘😘😘😘🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭💋💋💋💋💋
He says “say something schmoopy back”
Rozie
what is this schmoopy? The little cartoon dog with the boy who is sad
Hollander
That’s Snoopy.
Schmoopy is like sappy, all lovely dovey
Jackie
Envisioning all the schmoopy things cliffy is saying 🥰
Hollander
He seems like a schmoopy guy.
Jackie
He is 🥰 🥰 🥰
Jackie
And I miss him!!!!!!! Long distance SUCKS and is BAD
Rozie
yes, I agree
He says he misses you too, jackie
Jackie
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
Jackie
Those are for Cliff but you can have one too, Connie 💋
Aw, shucks
Rozie
🥺
Jackie
And one for you Ilya 💋
Rozie
🥰

Team Burlington

We’re checked in:) gonna wait in the breakfast area for you guys
Rozie
marly is upstairs doing something silly and romantic to his and the pikes' room
Jackie
Oh! We’ve reached maximum schmoop!
Shane
ETA 40 minutes

---

---

Hayden Pike

I'm freaking out.

I’m sorry, I know you, C+J are probably having a romantic afternoon, but Ilya and I went to explore Burlington and I’m freaking out.

It’s just: we just decided we're friends like 5 minutes ago and now we're walking around and he's insisting on going into all the little shops around town and he bought me a candle holder shaped like a frog and a butch grandma told me to "hang onto him" and I'm freaking the fuck out, Hayden.

Don't reply to me if you don't want to, like seriously. Sincerely. I just need to freak out to someone, and it’s not like anyone else knows.

Sorry.

I think maybe he wants to hold my hand????

Okay, first of all, we're watching the Mighty Ducks with the girls. I can text, you're fine

Second: deep breaths buddy

Third: when you say "5 minutes ago", how literal are you being?

Sorry.

Not literally 5 minutes. We talked the night we found out about you can Cliff. I didn't think he felt that way about me.

You didn't think you were friends?

It's called fuckBUDDIES for a reason

Yeah, but we don’t like… talk about stuff, the way friends do.

We would just sort of... have sex, and then I would leave or he would.

Ah

But now you are talking?

Yeah.

And how do you feel about that?

I don’t know!!!!!

He keeps stopping to pet every dog we see and it's really cute.

Okay, let's try again: do you feel positively about hanging out with Rozanov rn?

Yes.

That's awesome!

Does he seem like he’s having a good time?

Yeah, but that might be because of all the dogs.

There are like, a lot of gay people here.

Vermont was the first state in the US to legalize gay marriage. Cliff says a lot of queer people flocked there to get married and start families.

Oh, I didn't realize they did it piecemeal like that.

This country is a bunch of smaller countries in a trench coat

I guess Canada is kind of the same way, but not like… legally.

That’s weird.

I know right?

But listen: have you told Rozanov you’re freaking out?

Why would I do that?

……...

Shane.

What?

I think you should tell him you're confused about how you feel about him and being with him

You should be communicating with your friends, whether you've been fucking them for 5 years or not

And for what it's worth: Roz cares about you. I can see it

He would want to know if you're anxious

Okay.

Go get ‘im tiger

*

Hayden Pike

How did you know you were in love?

Holy shit

Sorry.

No!

Why the fuck you be sorry? Stop that

I fall in love pretty easily so I might not be the most useful guy to ask advice. I knew I was in love with Jackie the first time I made her laugh so hard she snorted

I wanted to make her laugh all the time, maybe for the rest of my life

Hearing her be happy made me feel like I was flying

Did you tell her right away?

It was on like our third date. I held off

And then you got married 8 months later.

Yes?

And?

She made herring pot pie so good I saw the face of god.

I was supposed to NOT ask her to marry me????

Herring???

It’s her mom’s recipe!

I knew I was in love with Cliff the first time he kissed Jackie in front of me

Whoa.

Yeah:)

The two of them are it for me

Thanks Hayden.

Jackie wants to know where you guys got lunch.

The B&B owner's husband suggested Wildflour Bakery. They have really nutrient dense salads, and Ilya got a fried egg sandwich.

Fuck yeah, man. I love that place.

Have a good rest of your afternoon, okay?

I’ll do my best.

Marly

I think maybe I am doing this wrong

sorry, are you getting turned into origami swan by your husband and wife or can you text?

we're watching cartoons with the girls

and i think i'm more of an origami crane type guy

What’s up?

I asked Shane if he wanted to explore burlington together, and he said yes but he's being very...

what is word? like little rabbit that is scared

Skittish?

yes.

what am i doing wrong?

well, what’re you doing?

we are just walking around, going into the little shops by the B&B. Is lovely place. Many very friendly dogs owned by lesbian couples

we got custom scents built for us by a beautiful person of intermediate gender

green hair? glitter in their beard?

Yes, exactly.

Olive! They’re good people. jackie gets her soap from that place

and hollander's skittish about going shopping with you?

I guess?

I don’t know...

I tried to hold his hand and he flinched like he would be burned

were you outside?

Yes?

that might be the problem: hollander's been hiding for so long, being out in the open is scary for him

is scary for me too, a little bit

you should tell him that

??????

don't go all macho man on me now, roz: tell your boyfriend you're nervous about holding hands in public like your queer forefathers before you

he is not my boyfriend.

he's not your boyfriend Now. I'm manifesting

you are what?

putting positive energy out into the universe

how often do you hang out with olive when you come here? they say the same silly things

not silly if it works, brother

*

Marly

i want to be happy

And you’re not now?

no

I mean

i mean i want to be happy like you are happy, with the pikes

I want to be happy like Olive and their wife

I want

fuck

you there brother?

roz?

sorry. Was talking to shane

he wants to be happy too, I think.

but it is scary

it’s fucking terrifying, marly

I know

believe me man, I know

but you can't let fear rule your life

and you gotta remember you're not alone

what is the name of the song you couldn't stop singing that night?

a line is stuck in my head, can't get it out

"Can't help falling in love". Elvis.

my mama liked elvis

I never hear about your ma

I don't like to talk about her. it hurts, sometimes

and sometimes i cannot remember that i'm not 13, and my father cannot scold me for talking about her from an ocean away

?? why the fuck would he scold you for talking about her?

the way she died is not approved of. shameful

???????????????????

I know I'll probably never meet your dad, but if do: putting him in a headlock

sorry about your ma, roz

and sorry it’s hard to talk about her

she had a beautiful singing voice

she wanted to sing opera, but she got pregnant with my brother, and our father was very hard on her

adding this to the list of justifications for putting an old man in a headlock

what key did she sing?

?

was her voice higher or lower?

higher, very high sometimes

soprano, nice

do you have any recordings of her singing?

no

I don’t think I can talk about this anymore

no problem, brother

you and hollander okay?

yes. i told him i was scared. he said he was too. we are in record store now, the one by the library

found sound. love that place

is nice. shane is looking for a present for his mama. she likes celine dion

very canadian of her

she collects vinyls. he’s trying to find a record she doesn’t already have

we’ve never talked this much. About anything

is this how being in love feels?

might be

is it stupid to hope that it is?

no, not at all

Team Burlington

Baby💕
We’re gonna head to V&V in a few minutes. The girls want to walk by the duck pond on the way
anybody have eyes on cons?

Connie
Took an audio tour. It ended at Vino & Veritas, so I’m there already
Kicking around the bookstore
Jackie
audio tour? 👀
he’s always doing those

Rozie
he has an app
Connie
voicemap.info
There’s tours for basically every city we go to on roadies, and I like to walk to collect myself. They’re done by local guides, so you get all kinds of fun insight
Heading out now
Rozie
shane and I are about ten minutes away
Jackie
We should get there a little after you then

Team Burlington

Jackie
What cocktail did everyone get! I really like the sappho sour
local woman sits next to her boyfriend and texts him questions

Jackie
I am polling the group!!!!!
we’re all spread out all over the place
I like the idea of a custom cocktail menu for a birthday. Might steal it
milo put this whole thing together. He’s crazy about mac

Holzy
I got The Mac as a mocktail. I really like the green apple flavoring.
Rozie
you mean mock cock?
Holzie
I was kind of ignoring that they’re called that.
Jackie
That’s what I call my strap😊
Baby💕
Jackie, babe, you don’t actually have to make that joke every time
sure she does
Jackie
yes I do!!!!!!
Rozie
why not? is funny
can’t believe the tops are unionizing

Baby💕
Jackie’s not a top
Jackie
hey!
Baby💕
ma’am you are vers at best
IF I catch you on a good day
Rozie
but she has top energy. Don't worry jackie. I let you into the club
the top club

Jackie
Also what I call my strap!!!!!
I need everyone to know that jackie put her drink down so fast to type that that she spilled it all over me

Baby💕
Jackie!
Jackie
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Connie
I got a marilyn, if we’re still talking about drinks
Mac’s a big monroe head

Rozie
confirmed bachelor. Is good, they have quality vodka here

Team Burlington

sorry to break the news roz: holzy might be leaving you for an older man

Rozie
they have been talking about hockey for 20 minutes
and that is after I started timer
Jackie
Kind of love that for him

Team Burlington

Rozie
Connie: there is a woman at the table next to you. she is checking you out
Connie
me?????
Rozie
why not? you are hot
Connie
I'm not hotter than any given lesbian, of which there are kind of a lot here
Jackie
Which woman????
reporting live from jackie's booth: she just tried to put her phone in the air like a parascope
Jackie
Bullying me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Baby💕
I'm so deeply in love with both of you it causes me phsyical pain
Rozie
Blue sweater with purple-y hair
Connie
Oh fuck
Jackie
That's our friend Arson!!!!!!!!!!
I'll introduce you
They're not a woman, though
genderqueer. they/them
Rozie
my apologies
Connie: that beautiful genderqueer person with crime for a name is checking you out and you should say hello
con and arson: match made in a courthouse
Jackie
!!!!!!!!!!
matchmaker's headed your way cons
Connie
Oh god

Team Burlington

Baby💕
I can’t find shane:((((((((
Connie
him and roz are checking on the kids. I think hollander needed some air
Baby💕
He gets overwhelmed :(((((((
the music in here is too loud!
it’s a normal volume, sweetness. You’re just drunk and love your friends

Baby💕
m not drnuk
Connie
uh oh
What uh oh?
Baby💕
no uh oh. I’m n0t drunk. And if I was,,,,,, it would be fine
Connie
Is this who I think it is?
[Image]
uh oh
Holzie
Why is JJ here????

Mon Capitaine

Capitaine! Is that you?
Is what me?
Are you in vermont? In burlington?
I am here for marty mac’s 55th birthday party!!
idk if you ever met julien gardenier. He was only with the voys for a year before he was traded, but he invited me
Oh!
Yes, I am in Burlington for Mac’s party. Where are you?
JJ?
We were wrong.
Wrong about what?
[image]
About that soullion jackie and her little bear boyfriend
JJ, don’t call Jackie that. She’s our friend.
She is no friend of mine!
I have to tell Pikesy
But first: that connard Marleau will get what’s coming to him
JJ, remember you’re in public.
So???
I'm just saying: don't make a scene. There's people here, and if you get caught on camera putting Marleau through a table, Roger Crowell will sign your suspension notice himself.
Ah, you are right as always mon frère. I will send Pikesy that picture. It will be difficult for him, but I know he would want to know
Hayden’s also here.
We should all talk.
??????
I don’t understand. How is Pikesy here and they are doing that shit? Where is he?
No one is so heartless, or stupid
Does he know??? He cannot stand up to her? Captain, what are you we going to do about this? It’s even worse than I thought… Hayden needs rescuing.
Come to the front of the restaurant. I’ll grab Hayden and the three of us can talk.

Pikesy

Hayden, mon chum, where are you right now?
JJ! I’m at a friend’s birthday:) What’s up?
What friend?
Marty Mac! Can you believe it? A mutual buddy introduced us. He’s 55, it’s soooo crazy
Don’t tell anyone but I’m a little drunk 🤫
Mac’s partner made a custom cocktail menu and I got. Aphrodite
Ode to Aphrodite. Like the Sappho poem
You know Sappho?
Hayden: I need you to focus
🧐
Cliff Marleau is also at Mac’s party. He is kissing and snuggling with your wife
[image]
Yeah he is ;)
:0 that’s such a cute picture of them!!!!
We hardly have any pictures together ;^;
Thanks, J this is really nice
??????
Shane says you want to talk:) We’re on our way
Did I say something wrong?

Mon Capitaine

I am leaving the party
I wish you would stay and listen to what Hayden has to say. I know he wasn’t the most coherent, but he was really excited to tell you about the whole thing. I know it’s been isolating for him to not be able to talk to the guys.
Did you know?
I found out today when I got here
Of course. I should have known you would never defend him and jackie if you knew
Defend?
cannot believe i went to bat so hard for him, and he is in that shit willingly
I would expect this kind of ugly behavior from one of them, but now Hayden says he’s “where he wants to be”? What a fucking coward.
i never thought i would be so disgusted with someone i considered to be a friend
You can't be serious.
You think your friend is a coward because he’s happy? You’re disgusted because he’s in love? Because his wife loves him?
I can't believe you are still on his side! After he stood there and told us he is HAPPY that his wife sleeps with another man!
I cannot emphasize this enough, J: you are mad because Hayden has feelings for someone. That is ridiculous.
he is a coward, and a liar and I can't believe we have to share the ice with him for the rest of the season
I’ve always been proud to share the ice with Hayden and that isn’t changing just because I know more about his personal life, or that I’ve met his partner.
Not even man enough to just be a faggot, he has to humiliate himself like this.
And after that performance they put on in Boston. “Boys weekend”, I am so sure. That cocksucker Rozanov was in on it. I bet they are passing Jackie around the Bears locker room like a joint.
I feel like I don’t even know you, JJ. You’re one of my closest friends, and I never thought you would treat people I care about this way.
I will not apologize, Captain. And I will not let you stop me from telling the boys. The team needs to know what kind of a liability Pike is..
It’s not really their business, JJ.
The last time boston was in montreal: it was hayden who missed that pass, non?
We lost 4-1, J. Lots of people were missing passes.
Not you. Not Taylor, or Wozniak. But Marleau scored that night
So?
You don’t think it is suspicious? That Pike was playing badly, and Marleau scored? He is a defenseman. Is not his job to score.
D-Men do score goals, occasionally, JJ. YOU have scored goals. I don’t like that you would accuse Hayden of cheating just because he loves someone on another team. That isn’t fair.
none of this has been fair

Team Burlington

We’re blown.

Lily
????
JJ saw Jackie and Cliff together. He was going to try to beat Cliff’s ass, but I talked him out of it.

Hayden Pike
Just JJ? That’s not so bad. Maybe we should just come clean
If that’s okay with you guys
Marleau
you think he’ll be chill?
Hayden Pike
JJ’s not homophobic! H's a good guy!!
Marleau
an amount of exclamation points only Drunk Hayden would dare use
Hayden Pike
I am not. Drunk. I am. normal.
Connors
this whole thing got started cause Dagenais wanted to stop hayds from being hurt: when he realizes there was never anything to worry about, he’ll be cool
Jackie Pike
I trust your judgments
He’s trying to take a picture of Jackie and Cliff to send to Hayden.

Hayden Pike
Let him:)
Are you sure?

Hayden
Yeah! Let him send it. I’ll explain, and everything will be,,,,, chillzone
And we’ve reached the “chillzone” stage of drunk Hayden.

Hayden Pike
Not! Drunk!
Marleau
Yeah, he’s normal

Team Burlington

I’ve got Hayden. We’re gonna talk to JJ. I think things will be okay.

Lily
good luck, moy lyubimyy
Hayden’s right: JJ’s not an asshole.

Marleau
okay, I see them. they’re talking
Jackie Pike
Should I go over there?
Marleau
I would wait
Connors
Yeah, Hayds and Holz will probably just bring Dagenais over once they’re done explaining anyway. We can all get another round together
Marleau
and hayden can have a water
Jackie Pike
How many did he have?
Marleau
like two and a half, but spencer’s on bar tonight
Jackie Pike
Ahhhhh
Lily
and that means pike is more drunk?
Marleau
spencer’s got gay pour
Lily
ah, yes
Connors
Help a straight man out
Marleau
ask arson ;)
Jackie Pike
Yeah!!! How are things going over there?
Connors
They’re cool! And they say hi
Jackie Pike
Hi Arson!!!!!!
Marleau
whoa, is that yelling Hollander?
Lily
I am going over there
Marleau
that will 100% make things worse, cap
Jackie Pike
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Shane yell!
Connors
I don’t think things are going as well as we hoped
Guys, I’m so sorry.

Situation Room

JJ
no need to worry anymore, boys. Jackie is definitely cheating on her husband, but it's okay because Pike let them put his cock in a cage
Mitty
Hello???
Drapeau
what the fjck
Taylor
????????
JJ, do you even hear yourself right now?.

You’re not listening to Hayden, either.

JJ
sure I am. Is what he said, non?
No, it literally isn’t.

Hayden and Jackie are ethically non-monogamous.

Mitty
THEY’RE WHAT
Comeau
okay I just woke up
Taylor
Hang on, back up
It’s 9 at night, coms
Comeau
fuck off
I'll let Hayden share the details he's comfortable sharing, but high level: no one is being cheated on. Cliff Marleau is their third, and according to Hayden they're considering getting serious soon.
Drapeau
serious?
Mitty
What could “serious” possibly mean in this context??
JJ
cuck chair permanently installed in the pikes' master bedroom
JJ, you haven't had nearly enough to drink to justify this behavior.

JJ
I am not drunk! I am outraged!
Like I said: Hayden should be the one to share details, but I've spent time with the three of them together, and they love each other.

It's actually really romantic.

Comeau
holy shit
Mitty
Romantic. Sure. It’s ~romantic~ that jackie think pike’s dick isn’t big enough, and she went crying to the fucking enemy.
Comeau
whos idea do you think it was
Taylor
my money’s on jackie: we were right. she is a traitor whore
Comeau
how much do you wanna bet the new brat isn’t even pike’s
Drapeau
Now that is a bad bet
you have left this chat

Team Burlington

We have the girls. Back to the B&B yes?

Marly
Hayden’s having a panic attack
Connie
Fuck!
Jackie
Where are you guys??????
Marly
Mac snuck us in the back room so hayds can have some quiet. we can meet you at the B&B
Jackie
Ilya: can you start back with Ruby and Jade? I want to check on Hayden
they will not go without three. we are waiting on sidewalk outside

Jane
I wanted to tell Mac how much it meant to meet him.
you have time now. connie is saying goodbye to arson

we say goodbyes, then go back to B&B and recover from your friend being asshole

Connie
Where are we meeting up?
outside by patio tables

jade is thinking maybe something is wrong, or hayden is hurt. I told them everything is okay but hayden is not feeling well. no talking about what happened out loud until mama can explain, yes?

Connie
Understood o7
Jackie, marly, hayden: we will wait outside until you are ready
Jane
FUCK
Jane
Sorry.
Jane
I just.
Jane
Fuck!!!!!!!!!
Connie
Yeah
Jane
Hayden was supposed to be right! It was supposed to be okay!
sometimes people surprise you in bad ways

Connie
did we check on marls? I know hayden's in a bad way, but this sucks for everyone
yes he is fine. in fact, I think he is more okay than any of us combined. It's like everything is... what is word? Like in a fish tank, or in the sink when the water is hard?

Jane
Filtered?
Da. like everything is filtered through how much he loves Hayden and Jackie and their babies. nothing else can get through, because that is more important

Jane
Wish I could do that.
well, malry is white

and not top draft pick

not big shiny ambassador to the world

your filter has to deal with harder water. maybe lead pipe

Jane
Lead pipe?
da, lead pipe of racism

Connie
this is a pretty good metaphor, Roz
Jane
Did you read about that in the New Yorker?
no, hollander. I told you: new yorker is boring

Connie
I like the new yorker
you also like walking around town listening to old men tell you about architecture

Connie
I will have you know: the gay Burlington tour is narrated by a woman
nice grandma

Marly
headed your way
Marly
would like to state for the record: this supernatural calm that has come over me at present is only because we can’t all be scared shitless
Lady Pike
Talking JJ’s regular roster into a sex strike
Jane
You don’t have to do that, Jackie.
Jackie
HE WAS MEAN TO MY HUSBAND
Jane
Okay, yeah fair.

Team Burlington

we are all asleep, but i am staring at ceiling in stupid blue-green hotel room listening to shane breath and i have to tell you this, my friends

first of all: i love you

second: my mama used to say something to me, when I was afraid of talking to the other boys, or I was scared I would mess up during a game. I think some parents would say it is not scary, that I needed to stop being afraid

but instead, she would say: Это страшно, но ты смелый

it is scary, but you are brave

and I think we are all brave

together, we can be

Connie
Aw, Roz you ol’ sofite
Jane
You make me feel brave, Ilya

Loverboy

where’d you go ;^;
downstairs at the buffet. the girls were up before us
It’s been like that since they started school
Hey Cliff?
I’m making you a plate. R+J have jacks covered
Thank you
But that’s not what I meant
I love you
I love you, too
I am in love with you. You're not an experiment, or a phase, or a fettish. You are my boyfriend and my lover, and I want you in my life
I need you to know that.
I do. I'm sorry your teammates are assholes, but that isn't changing anything about how I feel about you or Jackie. I promise. I love you.
I'm hoping I can smooth things over with them
Is your trade request still pending?
We’re doing well rn so they probably won’t wanna shake up the lineup anytime soon
Makes sense
You guys are doing well! Proud of you baby 🏆
🥰
I’ll talk to management after new years, see where they’re at
That’s plenty of time for JJ and the gang to get their heads out of their asses
You think they will?
I want to believe in them
Shane didn't show me what they were saying in their secret chat, but they've had my back my whole career
🙏
Can’t wait to have you home where you belong, baby
me either, sweetness

Team Burlington

Lily (Shane)
shane and I are going to take walk through the park before lunch if anyone would like to join us
Connors
I think I might be headed the same way! Arson invited be birding
Lily (Shane)
Birding? To be bird?
Shane
Bird Watching
My Wife:)
I have a request ✋
Connors
What’s up jacks?
My Wife:)
Could you guys take the girls to the park? So Hayden Cliffy and I can have a little privacy 👉 👈
Shane
No problem.
Lily (Shane)
Da, we will take them walking and then go somewhere fun for lunch, yes?
plenty of time to fold marly into origami crane
Shane
A crane??
My Wife:)
Thaaaaaank you 🙏🙏🙏
Loverboy
👌
Texted Shane the address for a place the girls liked the last time we were in town. No guarantee Ruby still likes it
Jade's gonna want to know the names plants you guys see so maybe have google lens up and ready
DO NOT let Ruby climb any trees. She didn't pack the right shoes even though I asked her if she did
Loverboy
we're working on "independence", but also "consequences"
And if they talk you into going back to the bookstore, they're only allowed 1 (one) book each because they each bought two yesterday
Connors
📝 📝 📝
My Wife:)
🥵🥵🥵🥵.
Loverboy
down girl
My Wife:)
🥵🥵🥴🥴🥺🥺🥺
Connors
Get it jacks!

Team Burlington

Lily (Shane)
Ruby, Jade, and I have been talking and we have agreed that sticker books do not count as books
[image] And these two are for baby Arthur, so does not count
[image] And these are gifts from uncle ilya, so is also fine
Rules: followed
Connors
I want it in the record that i disapproved of this scheme
Lily (Shane)
Is no scheme! We are following rules!
Connors
I also want it in the record that Shane didn't shut any of this down because he was trying really hard not to climb Rozie like a tree
Shane
Fuck off.
Connors
No shame! It's hot when your person is good with kids!
Lily (Shane)
I do not think they are checking the chat
Connie
And who would in their position?
Lily (Shane)
Their Many positions, no doubt
Shane
We're just gonna get lunch at V+V. Text if you want us to bring you something.
We’ll call when we’re headed back.

Team Burlington

We’re down in the breakfast area
Lily (Shane)
Shane and I are tagging in
Loverboy
line change
My Wife:)
We can take the girls ^-^
Shane
Cons split off to hang out with Arson some more before we have to leave.
My Wife:)
They’re so cute together
Yeah, I hope that works out:)

Lily

Hi. Can we talk?
?
Hollander, I am next to you in bed
why are we texting when we can just roll over and talk with our mouths?
I know.
It’s a little easier this way.
Sorry if this is annoying.
But I feel like if I try to talk out loud I’ll freak out.
you are okay?
I’m fine.
I’m better than fine. I’m so happy, Ilya.
Despite everything that went down at the party, this weekend has been one of the best time I’ve ever had.
But I’m starting to get a little scared of what happens tomorrow.
When we have to leave, you mean?
Yeah.
What if it doesn’t work when we’re not here?
What if JJ spills everything and we get found out?
Would it even be safe for you? With Russia and everything?
baby, slow down
I am trying to type
Sorry.
is okay
I know you are scared. I am scared too
I will not lie to you: if we were found out, I would not be able to go home again
and that thought scares me. When I am home, I am often sad, but russia is my home. it is where my family is, where I was raised, and where my mother is buried
stop typing. I can hear your thumbs moving
but you are also home
you are also safe and warm and kind
and I want to be with you
I want to be with you, too.
if JJ tells people about Marly and the Pikes, we will be there to support them
that is what I meant in my messages last night: together, we can be brave
I do not understand what you mean when you say “what if it does not work”
what is working?
You and me. We’re working, functioning.
more than functioning, I think
I feel like I am thriving
And you feel like we can go back to the way it was once we have to leave Burlington?
way it was? no
not just fucking for me anymore
Oh, yeah of course!
I just meant, only seeing each other a few times a year, not being together all the time.
is only 5-hour drive
marly and the pikes have been doing this for while
we can do the same: see each other when we can, call on the phone instead of just texting
Marleau spends summers with them.
Would you want to do that?
I usually go home in summer
need to take care of my father. He is sick
Right, yeah.
but maybe for a little bit, in july
I will have to think about it, figure things out
Okay.
you feel better now?
Yes. Sorry.
is okay. I don’t want you to be making yourself miserable. And we still have some time before check out tomorrow
maybe we discuss what to do with our afternoon out loud?
Yeah, okay.

Lily

We just got to the border.
Good drive?
Pretty good. Hit a little traffic, but we planned for it.
“We” planned for it or you studied traffic patterns and decided when everyone should leave to get home at good time?
I have skills. I contribute.
Yes, мой шмель
What does that one mean?
Wait, don’t tell me.
I downloaded a translator app. I want to know if it’s a good one…
Bumblebee?
Da, are like busy little bee
Translator app? You are going to learn Russian?
Why not? If my boyfriend is Russian and speaks Russian, then I should, too.
I do not deserve you
:(
Yes, you do.

Team Burlington

Connors
Can I be vulnerable?
Sure bud:)
My Wife:)
of course bby
Loverboy
whats up cons
Connors
Arson has a cock and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing
Shane
Are you guys having a lot of in-person sex? Don’t they live in Burlington?
Connors
No
We haven’t actually? They wanted to take things slow, and I’ve never really done that
It’s actually been really relaxing
Loverboy
so why are we worried?
Connors
They wanted to sext last night and I pretended to be exhausted cause I got scared
Loverboy
well don’t lie about that
Shane
Scared of what specifically?
My Wife:)
You should tell them you're inexperienced in that area!
Connors
Scared of being bad at it i guess?
like, I don’t want to accidentally offend them, first off
I talked to Tanner about how to approach parts and stuff
Lily (Shane)
parts?
Connors
so like: a trans person might refers to their body parts differently than would expect like looking at them
The example Tans used was a trans woman having what you might call a dick, but she calls it her clit and so her sexual partners should too
Lily (Shane)
This seems like something you could ask about, yes?
Connors
That’s what Tan said, too
Lily (Shane)
could be sexy
talking about different parts of them, and parts of you
My Wife:)
Oooo, yeah maybe start there if you’re worried about sexting
Connors
That could be hot…
Shane
Are you worried about literally describing what you would be doing?
Connors
Yeah:/
Shane
Talking about how you've never sucked dick could be a good starting point, too. Talk about how you want to learn.
My Wife:)
Yeah!
Loverboy
also: talk about what's good for you, describe how you would do the same stuff to them
Connors
Oh shit…
Loverboy
did you forget you also have a penis?
Connors
Kinda?
Happens to the best of us

triangles are the strongest shape

So practice was fucked up today
Loverboy
oh no???
The news has definitely broken containment cause coulliard wasn’t in JJ’s secret group chat and he kept making jokes about me being castrated
Loverboy
The fuck?????????????
At first I thought he was just talking about my vasectomy, but like: 1, that’s old news and they already made all their stupid jokes about it, and 2: the homophobe brigade were all laughing like it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard
Loverboy
I’m sorry sweetness
It’s not your fault
My Wife:)
IT’S JJ’S FAULT
I’M GOING TO RUIN THIS MAN’S LIFE
He had the decency to look guilty 🙄🙄🙄

Team Burlington

Connors
Can straight guys be bottoms?
Don’t see why not
Shane
What? No?
Loverboy
If a guy prefers being penetrated over penetrating, he’s a bottom, no matter who’s fucking him
My Wife:)
You have something to share with the class, Connie? 👀
Connors
Well now I’m embarrassed to say…
Shane
I ✋ forgot about pegging.
And also Arson’s whole situation, I guess.
Lily (Shane)
My god, hollander
Could NOT be me
Loverboy
unrelatable
My Wife:)
Told you guys I was a top!
No one said that

Team Burlington

My Wife:)
Shopping for extra-wide mattresses/bed frames. We might need to get something built :/
Shane
I can put you in touch with my designer if you like.
My Wife:)
!!!!
Lily (Shane)
Mr. Real Estate
Connors
Are you guys really taking Marly away from us 🥺 🥺 🥺
Loverboy
don’t wanna uproot the kids
Lily (Shane)
they should have all of their parents with them
Connors
Yeah
But that’s my marly 😭😭😭
My Wife:)
Mine now😈
Connors
😭😭😭 😭😭😭
Excuse me, you have to share
Loverboy
plenty to go around babes

JJ The Jet Plane

Hey, JJ. Just thought I would reach out. I know we haven't really been clicking lately, but I'd like to talk things through
What is there to talk through?
You lied to me, you are consorting with our rivals
I do not want to talk to you
I'm sorry that we lied, but we weren't ready to come out yet. It's scary, you know?
Scary
Yeah, for instance the entire team could turn on me and start talking vial shit about my wife and my lover. I think that would be the worst case scenario, actually
Lover
Your bull, you mean?
Fuck off, man. My life isn't a fucking porn category
Non? Well you certainly seem to be working on it
I'm sure your dreams will come true
He loves me.
I’m sure he does

My Wife:)

Pick a color
For what?
Don’t worry about it ;)
I like you in blue
😘

Loverboy

Hows’ Arizona?
fucking hot
It's supposed to cool down over night, but the AC is out in my and Vic's fucking room
Woof
Can you crash with someone else?
Making the pilgrimage to chez ilya and con
Gonna take the longest shower of my fucking life
Yeah? Tell me about it

triangles are the strongest shape

My Wife:)
Miss you
Loverboy
miss you.
Miss you!!!

triangles are the strongest shape

Want you
Roadies fucking suck
My Wife:)
What’re you up to baby?
Fucking myself into the goddam mattress
Shane’s in the hotel gym like an animal and I fucking want you
Fucking god, I want you in me
Loverboy
which one?
Either
Both
Wanna be in cliff while jackie fucks me
My Wife:)
You have the best ideas
Loverboy
Was kinda digging “both” but this sounds just as fun
want me face down for you?
No wanna see you
Kiss you
My Wife:)
You think you could hold it together long enough to fuck Cliffy the way he needs, baby?
Love watching you fall apart on my cock
I can
I fycking want it
Loverboy
and if you can’t, that’s okay too
if you cum, could lay on top of me while you get fucked
you know jackie loves to take her time with you
fuck

Team Burlington

My Wife:)
Is Ilya okay? I saw he didn’t come back on the ice after that hit
Loverboy
looked worse than it was. he’s on medical rest for our next game
Shane
On Saturday?
Loverboy
yeah, why?
Shane
Saturday is a rest day for me
I told you about impromptu roadtrips!
Lily (Shane)
🥺

Team Burlington

Connors
aaaaaaahhhhhhhh
My Wife:)
!
Shane
What’s the matter?
Connors
My mom asked me if I was seeing anyone and I said yes like an idiotttttt
How do we feel about your mom 🧐
Loverboy
we like her
Lily (Shane)
she is nice lady
Connors
She's a good mom, I've just never had A Person before and she's freaking me out talking about Arson coming to solstice celebration with the family
Shane
Do you want Arson to meet your family?
Connors
Kinda?
I don’t even know how I would ask
Shane
"My mom asked if I was seeing someone the other day and I mentioned you. She invited you to spend the holidays with us. Is that something you would like?"
My Wife:)
Just👏 be 👏blunt👏
Lily (Shane)
Hello I am Shane Hollander and I have never taken my own advice once in the whole of my life
Connors
Uh oh?
My Wife:)
Are you guys fighting 😭
Loverboy
is this why rozie was moping the other day?
Lily (Shane)
he comes over, he wants to snuggle on couch
Shane
We actually don’t need to discuss this in a public forum.
My Wife:)
The accused will remain silent until the charges have been read
Lily (Shane)
I say yes of course, i love snuggling you kotenok
So far so good…
Lily (Shane)
20 minutes later, I am sitting on couch, covered in cum, watching the love of my life walk out of my house because he experienced and emotion and panicked about it
Holy shit
Loverboy
Hollander you dog
My Wife:)
Shane!
Shane
I want it on record that I already apologized.
Lily (Shane)
pants I was wearing are handwash only
My Wife:)
SHANE
Connors
Wow, can’t believe we have to have hollander executed by firing squad
Shane
And I came back right away!
Lily (Shane)
da, after I leave three (3) very sad voicemails because the love of my life abandoned meeeeeeee
Shane
I got really overwhelmed. I’m sorry.
Ah yes, the Hollander Exit
My Wife:)
The what!
Connors
Hello???
If Shane doesn’t know what to do in a situation, he just leaves
You gotta grab him and bring him back down to earth
Loverboy
literally?
Literally. Or else he’ll just keep going
Lily (Shane)
📝buy leash… 📝for boyfriend…
Could work!
Loverboy
love of your life, huh roz?
Lily (Shane)
my sun and moon
my dearest darling
my morning star
Shane
Okay.
Lily (Shane)
the apple in my eye
Shane
ILYA
and it’s “of your eye”
Lily (Shane)
my honey lemon
Shane
I’m putting my phone down now.
Lily (Shane)
my sweet baboo
Connors
Sweet baboo?
Lily (Shane)
he is the linus to my sally
the schroeder to my lucy
My Wife:)
Shane! Why does your boyfriend only identify with the peanuts characters who are PINING!!!!!!
Connors
I think he really did put his phone down
@Shane get back here
My Wife:)
Shane!!!!!!!
Shane
I also want it on record that Ilya is in our text thread talking about how he’s going to turn me inside out next time we see each other, so I think he’s fine actually.
My Wife:)
!
Connors
Get it, cap
Lily (Shane)
^-^
Loverboy
oh but pet names are embarrassing, okay

Team Burlington

Jane
[Jane deleted a message]
Connie
HELLO
Pike
Well good morning to you to
Marly
oh word
Lady Pike
Love that for you bby!!!!!!
Jane
Sorry!
I’m so sorry, holy shit.
Marly
no keep going. you were doing great
Lady Pike
🗞️
Marly
😁
wait!!! I did not see!
Lady Pike
I’m sure Shane will resend it to just you
Pike
If he hasn’t burst into flames
Shane 🥺
Shaaaaaane
he not answering my messages((((((
Pike
Aw, buddy
Lady Pike
Oh sweetheart don’t be embarrassed!
Marly
you really were doing great
Connors
It happens!
Jane
Hi.
I just needed to take a lap.
Sorry, again.
Lady Pike
It’s okay!!!!
Pike
It’s all good
Kotenok!
Jane
Okay, closing this chat now.
Connoe
That one means “kitten” if anyone else was wondering

Team Burlington

Lady Pike
We’re out of shredded cheddar
📝
Jane
Understood.
Connie
Mailing you some rn
Lady Pike
Oh damn it
Don’t mail us cheese 🤣🤣🤣
Connie
Signing you up for a cheese of the month club
Marly
is that a thing?
Lady Pike
Ooo!
Connie
Arson is signed up for a pickle of the month club:) they turned me onto it
!
send link
Connie
DMing you
Marly
arson turned you on, huh?
Connie
Oh no
Pike
(Putting shred ched in the grocery order)
Lady Pike
(Thank you)
Connors
shred ched
Marly
shred ched
Lady Pike
Chredded sheddar? Is that anything?
Pike
I’m gonna say: no.

Team Burlington

Jane
Ilya did you buy another sports car?
yes
did not have one in blue
Jane
Oh my god.
Connie
Saw the insta post cap. Looks sick
Jane
You can only drive one car at a time.
you have 2!
Jane
Yeah, one for winter weather and one for warmer weather. It’s practical.
You're saying you do not want to ride around with me with the top down and the wind in our hair, lyubimyy
Jane
No, I hate riding in convertibles
Lady Pike
I’ll go with you Ilya!
excellent!
Pike
Hey.
we can go to the beach)))
Marly
Roz.
Lady Pike
I've been meaning to get my nails done. We can go to the salon ^-^
Pike
Hey!!!
da, maybe make weekend of it
Pike
Heeeeyyyy!!!!!!!
Marly
🔫
Lady Pike
:3c
Connie
Go jackie go!
you are jealous, pike? jackie and I are gal pals
And neither her boring husband or her silly boyfriend have convertible for her to ride around in, so is up to me
Pike
We have a moon roof in the van:)
ugh
Jane
Baby, do you paint your nails.
no, but I like a manicure
sometimes I do clear polish
Jane
Why?
Just curious.
I never considered it myself, but I know some guys do.
Lady Pike
You could pull off painted nails Shane:)
when I was sleeping with women, was way to communicate that I take care of myself, groom well
and also, made me feel put-together, pretty
Pike
Sometimes the girls want to paint my nails and I always tell them no cause the guys will give me shit.
Marly
booooooooo
Next time we are all together, we do nails, yes?
Connie
Yeah! Fuck those fuckers!

Team Burlington

Pike
Guess who has to attend two (2!) sensitivity trainings because they got called a faggot:)
???
Connie
For fuck’s sake
names
Pike
No, Roz
Jane
Comeau, Couillard, McDaniels, Evans, Miitka, and Drapeau. Taylor didn't say it but he was laughing.
Connie
All of them?????
Pike
Shane holy shit
Jane
I’m sick of it
Lady Pike
I Comeau's wife is getting me in contact with Coulliard's new girlfriend ^-^
Jane
Does she know about the new mistress yet?
Lady Pike
In LA?
Jane
No, in Vancouver.
Lady Pike
I will ask 💗
Connie
Trying to think if I know anyone who would be helpful here…
Marly
are you guys okay?
Jane
I’m pissed the fuck off.
Marly
wait why the fuck do you guys have to do the training shit?
Jane
"All involved parties". I'm gonna set something on fire.
Connie
If anybody asks, you were hanging with me the whole time
Marly
roz and jackie both disappearing is mildly terrifying
Pike
Jackie's sitting at the kitchen island typing on her phone and laptop at the same time, muttering to herself
Jane
I'm even angier at JJ right now. He wasn't involved this time but he also didn't say anything when it was happening.
Jane
Fucking disgusting.
Pike
Shane did you get this email about fines?
Jane
Fines?
Marly
FINES!?
Jane
I don’t have anything in my inbox
Pike
Interesting
Marly
fines for what?
Pike
Two grand for “incitement”
Jane
I’m calling my lawyer.
Pike
Shane, don’t. You don’t have to fight my battles for me
Jane
I was just going to ask if there's any way to fight that kind of thing. But if you'd rather ask for advice yourself that's understandable.
More time for me to commit. Arson.
Pike
Love you, buddy
Connie
Please don’t commit my partner
Marly
🤣🤣🤣
cons you’re the funniest bitch alive
Jane
Okay, I needed that.
Lady Pike
My husband is convulsing on the kitchen floor what have you people done
Ah
Connie you’re the funniest bitch alive
Marly
but ahem. partner, huh? 👀
Connie
Yeah:)
We're gonna be long distance for a while longer but we're making a go of it
I really like them >///<
Lady Pike
!!!!
Marly
happy for you brother
very happy for you, Connie
does your sister work for Dallas Five-Points?
Connie
Yeah, she’s a physiotherapist for them. Why?
Couillard reportedly bragged to several new york admirals that he fucked the wife of their then-alternate captain. This AC now plays for dallas. I think we should inform him before montreal plays dallas next week
talking to carter vaughn’s wife about it
Connie
I’ll text her
Marly
Holy shit how far down this rabbit hole are you
Jane
How could you possibly know Carter Vaughn’s wife???
Her sister had lifelong dream to fuck NHL star. We were at same bar
Jane
Amazing.
Connie
…
How… how was it?
she is a bit older than me, but less experienced. Was good to show her a nice time
also got to check fucking on new york fire escape off bucket list
Connie
WOW
Marly
fuck yeah, roz
Pike
Just gonna check on Shane really quickly if that’s alright with everyone
You doing alright buddy?
Jane
I’m fine.
Pike
And that’s so awesome
Marly
I believe in you, hollander
📝 have sex with shane on new york fire escape
Jane
No.
📝 📝 seduce boyfriend on rooftop in brooklyn
Jane
No, not necessary.
Marly
if Hollander won’t go, I volunteer
Pike
You will not!
Lady Pike
🙅‍♀️ Nuh uh
Marly
🙇 😘
📝 📝 📝 have threesome with boyfriend and bestie
Lady Pike
Ilya!!!! Ma’am!!!!!!!!!
Pike
BRB driving to Boston
Jane
Who taught you the word “bestie”?
Connors
Connie
I always think threesomes would be too much pressure
Marly
helps if you tag in
Connie
Tag in???
MArly
Yeah, like take turns
not everyone has to be doing everything at the same time
also tends to be better if everyone is attracted to each other
three some with woman and straight guy? Awful. Terrible vibes. Never again
three some with two bisexual women? Second hottest thing after shanes back dimples
Jane
Okay.
Lady Pike
Wait, Ilya: didn’t you and Cliffy used to…
Marly
take a girl to paris once in a while? yeah
Jane
I’m sorry???
I always got vibe off of marly that he wasn't straight. I think first time we "shared" a hookup confirmed it in my head
Marly
why didn’t you say anything
did not want to risk being wrong I guess
also did not seem like my business
Marly
I appreciate that, but I also kinda hate how long I spent in the closet with no queer friends. After Mac retired, it was really lonely
yeah
Pike
Yeah:/
Jane
Yeah.

Team Burlington

Marly
hollander did you drive here last night?
Pike
???
Connie
Yeah! Why’s my captain look like he fought off an actual bear
Lady Pike
Cause he fought off a voyageur 👀
😊😊😊
Pike
First Shane ever misses an optional practice and it’s to maul his boyfriend
Lady Pike
🥺🥺🥺
Pike
🤔
Marly
Babes, I can’t drive to Montral rn. you know that
Pike
Quitter talk
Lady Pike
😭😭😭
Marly
BABES
Jane
I regret nothing.

Team Burlington

I came out to my mom and dad tonight
Hayden Pike
🎉🎉🎉
Jackie Pike
How’d it go 👀
Good! I think I always knew it would go well, but there was always a part of me that thought I would get a failing grade in Good Son if I made things harder on them because I'm gay.
Marleau
booooo anxiety brain
Hayden Pike
Glad it went well, buddy
Jackie Pike
Can I ask what exactly you said?
I told them I've been wanting to share something personal with them for a while, and that I want them to know me better.
Jackie Pike
📝
Connors
Are you coming out to someone Jacks?
Jackie Pike
My mom doesn’t know that I’m queer, or that we’re poly and I’ve never had a secret from her before. It’s really been nagging at me:(
And I want to tell her before we start the process of moving Cliff, just so she has time to adjust
Connors
You have sisters right?
Jackie Pike
Yeah, one older and one younger
Connors
When Tanner came out to the family, he told us siblings first and then we were all there when he told mom and dad
So we could support him
Jackie Pike
Oh shit…
Thanks Connie:)
Connors
Anytime 👍

Team Burlington

Connors
Not that I don’t have a vested interest in it continuing, but WHY are yall playing like shit rn
There’s a big disconnect in our locker room at the moment.
Hayden Pike
It’s my fault
Jackie Pike
NO IT IS NOT
Marleau
Hayden.
They’re bullying you like children. I wish you would let me talk to Coach.
Hayden Pike
Theriault won’t do shit
He might if we frame it as a play issue.
He keeps screaming that we need to get our shit together. We can’t do that if the problem-players continue to conduct themselves like this.
Marleau
Problem players?
Lily
names.
I’m not putting a hit out on anyone. These guys have it in them toget the fuck over it and play hockey. We just have to figure out how to make them do that.
Connors

Team Burlington

Jackie Pike
Good news: Tera and Roxanne were really cool about the whole coming out thing
That’s great Jackie.
Connors
Nice!
Marleau
wait for it
Jackie
Bad news: my mom doesn't understand polyamory At All and started talking about sisterwife cults
????
Connors
Bruh
Jackie Pike
More good news: Tera was able to steer her in the more-correct direction with her powerful nerd knowledge
Did you guys know the guy who created Wonder Woman based her on wife and their girlfriend?
Connors
Whoa!
That’s really cool.
Lily
Is there more bad news?
Jackie Pike
Yes:) she is sending me the numbers for divorce attorneys:)
For fuck’s sake.
Hayden Pike
Jackie, your dad is calling me
Jackie Pike
Be right there
Marleau
oh boy…
Do your parents know about the whole thing, Cliff?
Marleau
it's just me and my ma and nona
it took a while to wrap their heads around it, and I'm pretty sure nona doesn't realize I'm also dating Hayden, but they're chill
Connors
That’s awesome, man
Yeah, I’m glad.
Lily
you can all go fuck yourselves
Connors
Ah fuck
Marleau
sorry about the totalitarianism, buddy
Lily
🙄🙄🙄 so inconsiderate to those of us with shit families and homophobic governments
Jackie is my only friend
Jackie Pike
Is your mom crazy too?
Lily
No, my mama was not crazy, but my father is asshole and my brother is like talking to nest of angry wasps
Connors
Bad!
Hayden Pike
Extremely
Marleau
we hate those guys
We hate those guys.
Connors
Those guys? Don’t like em
Hayden Pike
👎👎👎
Jackie Pike
Getting the feeling we don’t like these guys…
Because we hate them.

Jean Jacques Deganais

Capitaine, will you come out with us tonight? Get hype for handing the Bears their own asses!
I’m not interested in socializing with a bunch of immature assholes who have been bullying my best friend for two months.
Besides, my partner is coming into town tomorrow and I’m getting ready for their visit.
PARTNER!
Cap, you cannot just drop that so casually!
Why did you not tell me you have a girlfriend?
All of the people in my life who I believe care about me know about my partner, and have met them.
You are not currently on that list, JJ.

---

Ursids of Unusual Size

St. Vic
is anyone else watching montreal at toronto? What the fuck is going on?
I know right?
St. Vic
what is wrong with these idiots?
why are they letting them to that?
I’m watching at Marly’s place. Shit’s fucked
Hamham
No invites to the watch party?
Marly
double date
Hamham
YOOOOO
Sebs
HEY WHAT
Carpenter!
daaaaaate?
Carmy
SPILL SPILL SPILL
St Vic
who is the girl, cons?
Their name is Arson and they’re not a girl
They use they/them
Hamham
Arson????
Carpenter!
You’re laughing. Mr. and Mrs. Felony named their darling baby Arson and you’re laughing
Carmy
they might've named themselves that
themself?
Hamham
tell us about them, concon
They're chill. They don't know anything about hockey so I've been explaining how wack this wack-ass game is
St. Vic
you should bring them around next team dinner!
Carpenter!
for sure!
Sebs
Are they a vegan? Cause every they/them I know is also a vegan
St. Vic
is that stereotyping, Sebbin?
Sebs
I’m just saying!
St. Vic
well you should say something else
They’re not vegan, but they are vegetarian
“Cheese is delicious” -Arson Wells, 2016
Hamham
ah, a person of taste
Sebs
This doesn’t limit restaurant selection as much
St. Vic
hey you know…
we have not met marly’s person either yet
Carmy
HEY YEAH
Holy shit
St. Vic
oh my gd???
Hamham
what the fuc whatthe fuck
Carpenter!
Is he okay?
Feller
What are we freaking out about?
Sebs
turn on voys/guardians
Carpenter!
Pike just went down hard
St. Vic
this is what I was saying before: kent was picking on pike and the voys didn’t do anything
what is wrong with them???
Sebs
holy shit, get his ass hollander
Carpenter!
Isn’t Troy Barrett Kent’s little pet?
Hamham
yeah, that's probably why shane grabbed him instead of michealson
Carmy
GET HIS ASS!!!!
St. Vic
Star wing goes down and only his best friend drops gloves? what the hell???
Hamham
barrett's gonna need new teeth, holy shit
Marly
they hate him
Sebs
?????
Hamham
what
St. Vic
What do you know, Marleau?
Marly
they fucking hate him and they're all assholes and I fucking hate them
marls had to take a lap
Hamham
good news is, pike's awake. he was moving his arms when they put him on the stretcher
Sebs
marly’s that worked up?
Hamham
barrett's gonna need new teeth, holy shit
him and pike are buddies
Sebs
oh shit!
Hamham
ahhhh, this is why you guys went out with the voys that time when they came down here
St. Vic
awful, to see a friend go down like that
Hamham
did hollander get ejected???
Carmy
YOOOOOO
Sebs
I don’t get it: what did pike do to get them to hate him like that?
doesn’t make sense
Hamham
yeah! What the fuck?
Rozie
does not matter what he did. nothing justifies this
Sebs
I know, I just don’t get it
if any of us took a hit like that, we’d grab the nearest opposing jersey and swing
Carpenter!
Is Marly okay? Did he come back?
Rozie
he is on the phone with shane
Trying to make sure Pike’s wife know what’s up
Carpenter
He’s a good guy
St. Vic
I can’t watch anymore of this pissing game
Hamham
hey can we talk about how cap called hollander “shane”
Rozie
Fuck off, Hammersmith

Team Burlington

Rozie
connie is taking Jackie to the airport now. the babies will stay with me and Marly at his place
Marly
breaking the rules and getting mcdonald’s twice in the same week
Rozie
they deserve it
Jackie
SEE IF THERE WEREN’T THHREE OF US I DOULDN’T MAKE SURE THE KIDS WERE OKAY AND ALSO GO TAKE CARE OF HAYDEN
IT’S ALMOS TLIKE THIS IS A PERFECTLY VALID AND FUNCTIONAL WAY TO RAISE A FAMILY
Marly
deep breaths, love
you’re right, but please don’t blow a blood vessel
Hollander
I just got to the hospital. Don’t know if they’ll tell me anything, but it was that or sit and stew at the rink.
Rozie
are you okay dorogy?
Hollander
No.
Physically, yes.
I’m going to fucking through up
Jackie
Do it in comeau’s duffle bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ursids of Unusual Size

Carmy
No Marly for the game tomorrow?
Carpenter!
???
Hamham
Is he okay?
Carmy
Donno, coach just emailed lines
@Marly 👀
He’s taking care of some family stuff
Carmy
oh shit!
St. Vic
Did someone pass? Should we send flowers?
Marly
yeah: saint joseph's health center room 8009
send get well soons
Sebs
o7
Hamham
on it, marmar
Carmy
How long are you gonna be gone?
Marly
I’ll be back for next home game
St. Vic
Take all the time you need

Team Burlington

Jackie
Concussion and a wrenched shoulder. Minimum 3 weeks rest and recovery, with a brace. He has weekly doctor's appointments until then. They want to monitor him for a little while longer, then he'll be cleared to travel
For now, they have him on painkillers so he’s a little whoozy
Holander
Glad it wasn't worse.
Hayden
I’m gonna tweet IM BISEXUAL and then turn off myphone
Hollander
You shouldn't be looking at screens.
And you shouldn’t post anything while you’re high on morphine.
Hayden
I can do whatever I want!
Except ☝️ have boy friend
I miss my kids
Hollander
They miss you too, Hayds. They'll be in Montreal by the time you get cleared to travel.
Rozie
they are having nice time with papa and uncle ilya
Hayden
I miss my wiiiiiiiife
Hollander
Jackie isn't there with you?
Jackie
I’m downstairs getting food
Hayden
She’s literally. So faraway rn
Marly
Hayden George, get off your phone
Hayden
:(

St. Vic

Connor C. Connors.
Victor St-Simone.
What do you know?
About what?
About Marly and his girl
I mean, I’ve met her. She’s chill. They like each other a lot
They don’t wanna be in the spotlight rn is all
Why?
I will tell you what I think I might know, and you tell me if I am wrong, oui?
Ok
1. Marly was celebrating his anniversary in Montreal, with someone he only sees when we are in Montreal
2. Marly is schmoopy and romantic about this person, and took a lot of my advice about being long distance and was really grateful for it
3. Despite this, and them being together for a year and a half now, Marly doesn't talk about this person in mixed company, and they don't come out with us when we are in MTL
4. Marly has a loved one in hospital rn, but is not saying any more than that, and I saw his mamon at the farmer's market today, so it isn't her or his nona
Thus, my conclusion: Marly's Montreal girl is a man, and they are sick, but Marly does not think we will be accepting of him and his relationship
There’s a Montreal girl, Vic
I think you are lying to keep him from being outed
And I will not breathe a word of my theories to anyone!
But: I think we should make more of an effort to be welcoming and inclusive of gay teammates. Marly cannot be the only queer man in the NHL, in any case
I found an infographic

Team Burlington

Hayden
There’s a bunch of. stuff. Here.
Holander
Good morning. You still shouldn’t be looking at your phone.
Jackie
The Bears sent flowers! [image]
Hayden
And litttle teddy bears
Why are teddy’s bears so cute????
Jackie
Okay, I took Hayden’s phone
But look how cute!
[Jackie sent seven images]
One of them is from JJ and I'm putting it in time out away from the others
Rozie
bears wanted to support marly
they don't know the whole situation, just that someone he loves is in hospital
About that…
Marly
what’s up cons?
So, St. Vic was texting me last night, and he might’ve figured some stuff out
Hollander
Fuck.
Wait! Don’t panic!
[you sent a screenshot]
And then he sent me an infographic about being inclusive in the workplace
Marly
I’m gonna talk to him
Jackie
Wait what’re you gonna say?
Marly
to fuck off
Hollander
That would be my instinct in this situation, too.
Rozie
but is not same thing, yes?
I think Rozie’s right
Rozie
is marly and the pikes’ decision, but st vic is coming to table with idea of being queer ally already
so maybe will not be bad?
Marly
Dagenais blew up at Hayden because of the poly thing, not just because he’s queer
Rozie
this is true
Marly
I just don’t wanna deal with this shit while haydens hurt
And fuck, man
I can’t fucking deal with it if vic’s an asshole
Jackie
I’m gonna call you
Marly
💕
Sorry if I overstepped
Rozie
you were just informing them of the situation
I know, but sometimes I feel like I’m too in the mix
Rozie
? in the mix? You are our friend
Hollander
You mean cause you’re straight?
Yeah
Rozie
ah
fully forgot that shit
because you are queer in-law
I’m gonna take that as a compliment, I think
Rozie
it is
Hollander
Isn’t “culturally queer” a thing? Like when a straight person has gay parents.
Sure, but I don’t think that gives me the right to tell someone to come out
Rozie
you were not doing that
Hollander
That’s literally not what you were doing.
Isn’t it?
Rozie
connie can you not read?
Hollander
No, it isn’t.
I know I said I agreed Cliff should tell St-Simone to fuck off, but I think I would also want to know if that was happening, first of all.
We’re all a little raw right now. I think you’re being hard on yourself.
Maybe
I just
I fucking hate it man
Hayden
Got my phone back suckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohno
No!
Hollander
Hayden, you shouldn’t be looking at screens.
Jackie
He started crying:(
Marly
Jacks had me on speaker
I don’t think you overstepped at all, con
I’m just fucking exhausted
Hollander
Crying like he was in distress or crying cause he really wanted his phone and he’s high?
Hayden
I miss my friends:(
Jackie says I get fiveminutes
Everybody suht up
I love you!
I LOVE you
Second of all: ia m sad but I also want cliff to have a better time than I’m having
Which: sounds like he will if he comes out to vic
BUT
He does not want to and so: will not
BUUUUUUT
Nothing wrong with infographics
Marly
he means it’s fine if vic continues to think my montreal girl is a guy. I’m just not gonna engage
Will operate accordingly 👍
Marly
not looking forward to knowing which of the bears is homophobic
Rozie
we will be okay, marly

JJ The Jet Plane

Mon chum, I am sorry
I am sorry you are hurt, and that I did not knock that barasard Kent's head off when he did it
I am sorry I have caused you pain
It was wrong to say those things, to expose you to the team like that. I have never heard such awful things from these men that I love. I am ashamed to have started the ball rolling on how terrible they are being. I do not expect you to forgive me for what I said, but I needed to apologize for what I have done to you and Jackie.
And Cliff:(
Qoui?
And sorry to my boyfriend 😭😭😭
I literally love him so much and you said mean things about him
He is really your boyfriend?
HE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
But madame jackie?
Yeah:)
Yeah what, stoner?
I’m not stoned. It’s not Weed
To answer your question: she is my wife.
Hayden, mon chum, maybe we talk in person, yes?
Okay:)
I can go home tomorrow! Come by in a couple days?
Hi, JJ. This is Jackie. I have Hayden's phone for his screen break. He was on painkillers when he sent that invitation, and I want you to know I don't like the idea of you coming to see him at home, but if he still wants you to come when he's sober, that's okay.
Madame Jackie, I am so sorry.
I understand. Hayden can re-invite or uninvite me when he is sober
Hey! Sober me thinks you should come over for dinner.

Team Burlington

Jackie
JJ Dagenais in my house rn
he behaving himself?
Holander
Do you want me to come over?
Jackie
No, it’s fine
Ruby just came up to me and asked if we have to be nice to him and it was really hard for me to tell her you should always be nice to guests
Connie
True and real
how’s it going otherwise?
Jackie
They're sitting on the patio having a heart-to-heart
I’m over-cooking his quesadilla
Connie
Get his ass
Holzy
If Hayden forgives JJ, I am prepared to as well. He was really torn up about not jumping in when he got hurt.
Rozie
you are allowed to forgive him
I will not be
Holzy
And I think that’s fine.
Connie
When does Hayden get to get back on the ice?
doc said two more weeks
Jackie
2 weeks
Ah!
same hat
Connie
If I were you, Shane (and I know I'm not and I'm certainly not captain of anything) I would hold off until he gets back in the locker room. If the shit starts up again and Dagenais doesn't jump in to defend Hayds with you, you need to have a conversation with him.
Is what I would do in your position, I mean
Holzy
I understand.
And I agree, but after Hayden got hurt, JJ was the only person on the team who reached out.
Jackie
And he did send flowers…
Holzy
He was the only one to send something, and I know I’m the only one on the team who visited while we were still in Toronto.
Jackie
Hayden is laughing at whatever JJ just said, so maybe they’re okay
Connie
🙏

Team Burlington

Baby 💕
You guys talking about me in here?
how’s it going?
Baby 💕
Good! I’m so fucking relieved
Holzy
Relieved?
Baby 💕
Yeah, I feel like I have my friend back
that’s so amazing sweetheart
Jackie
"I don't understand how you could share your lovely wife" Get good, Dagenais
Connie
Fuck offffff
Holzy
I don't think that I could do polyamory, but the three of you are great together.
Baby 💕
Guys, be nice. He’s trying!
Rozie
maybe he should Try not saying stupid shit
i dont really think of it as sharing?
idk, it's hard to explain
like: when i was growing up, it didn't feel like i "shared" my house with my ma and nona. it was my house, and also their house. our house, our hayden, our jackie
Connie
Never beating the loverboy allegations
Jackie
😭😭😭babyyyyyyy
Rozie
ah yes, the famous schmoop
Baby 💕
Love, do you mind if I show those messages to J? He really is having a hard time just wrapping his head around the poly thing
go ahead. happy to help
Jackie
I’ve got my eye on him…
Holzy
He was the only one to send something, and I know I’m the only one on the team who visited while we were still in Toronto.
Baby 💕
He’s trying!
I just…
Guys, he’s trying
I miss my friend
Holzy
I miss him too.

St. Vic

Good morning mon frère
morning vic. what’s up?
How is your person doing, who was in hospital?
he's a lot better now. doc says he can go back to work in 2 weeks
Excellent!
It has been good to have you back in the locker room, though I understand why you needed to take some time
for sure
I wanted to say: we all really missed you in the locker room, and I am glad you’re back, not just because we need you on the ice, but because you make it a good place to be. I missed your energy, the way you bring mellow vibes to an otherwise very high-energy space, and because you are one of my dearest friends
wow, vic that’s really sweet
And I also hope that you are glad to be back, and that all of us are giving you what you need as well
what I need?
Oui, what it is: energy, space, shoulders for leaning
I hope you feel support I guess is what I mean
I do feel supported
thanks

triangles are the strongest shape

I think vic’s chill
like not an asshole
Jackie
Are you going to come out to him?
if that’s okay with the two of you
Baby 💕
I would be okay with you telling him about us, but you don’t have to
Jackie
Yeah:)
I’m not sure I could do that
Baby 💕
What’d you mean?
the two of you are a part of me
I don’t think I could tell someone about me without also telling them I’m so, so in love
Jackie
😭😭😭
Baby 💕
Wanna kiss you so bad rn holy shit
Jackie
I think if you want to come out to Victor you should
Baby 💕
Yeah!
wish me luck

St. Vic

this have anything to do with that infographic you and cons were passing around?
Non!
Maybe…
You know: the NHL is only major men’s sports league in North America that has never had an openly-LGBTQ+ player
I’m aware
I think it is a shame that this we game love so much sometimes does not love our brothers back
Is just something I have been thinking about
and you’d stand with them?
Oui, of course
I really appreciate that, vic
cons told me you guessed that my montreal girl is really a montreal guy
I haven’t told anyone else about my theory, but you and Connors were “double dating”, so…
yeah, he’s met my boyfriend
!!
and my girlfriend
!!!!
Marleau! You dog!
we’re a triad, idk if you know what that means
I am familiar!
I cannot believe there is a Montreal girl AND a Montreal guy
This is really going to throw of the betting pool…
you assholes were betting on whether I was dating a guy???
Non!!
Only about why your girl was secret
Like the pool about Capitaine’s Jane. Same thing
what’re the top theories?
Most popular rn is that she is a movie star, since so many movies film in Montreal
Hammy thinks she’s a super spy
of course he does
other people think maybe she is in politics, or she is married
you have money on that one?
of course not mon frère. I know you are a man of honor
put a couple bucks down. might win on a technicality
!?
You are a fucking legend, Marly

Gilbert Comeau

You piece a shit
*Of shit.
You said all that crap about masculinity and the league being white to those reporters and now people are calling me racist
Do you remember the first time I got undressed in your eye line and you made a loud comment about being surprised at my dick size?
Oh fuck off
You know it wasn't like that
I don't.
Excuse me?
I don't know it wasn't like that. I don't know it's not like that when you make comments about my mother being a mail-order bride, and I don't know it's like that when you insinuate that my friend is being sexually abused by his lovers, or that he’s less of a man for having a boyfriend.
Would you rather people know you're a homophobic, misogynist piece of shit or know that you're a racist asshole?
Pick your poison, Gil.

Jean Jacques Deganais

Capitaine?
Yes?
I wanted to apologize
I'm not really the one you need to be apologizing to.
I reached out to Pikesy too
But you experienced me at me worst, and for that I am also so, so sorry
I’ll be honest with you, JJ: I felt betrayed by your actions back in Burlington, and I hated the idea that you would mistreat Hayden the way the other guys were doing.
Thank you for apologizing, and for reaching out to Hayden. The locker room has been fucking miserable and it’s so nice to know that he and I aren’t alone anymore.
I’m sorry I let you be alone all this time
Wait!
Do not answer if this is inappropriate…
You say you AND Hayden were alone. You mean only that you were the only one defending him?
(Because your friend JJ who is very sorry is a coward and did I mention how sorry he is and how he is reading about being an ally?)
If you’re asking if I’m also queer, the answer is yes. I’m not open about it (obviously) but a few people do know.
And I would thank you not to tell anyone.
Your secret is safe with me my friend! I promise
May I ask about your partner? You mentioned them before
He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me
I’m so happy for you, Capitaine. And I would be honored to meet them, if you were okay with that
I’ll think about it

Lily

JJ wants to meet my partner
is that something you want?
I’m not sure. I don’t want him to react badly, and I don’t want you to get exposed to homophobia if he does.
I can handle whatever Dagenais has to say. You are the one who has to see him every day, dorogoy
That one means sweetheart, right?
da
:)
marly’s schmoop is rubbing off on you I see
I do think JJ’s turned over a new leaf. Hayden getting hurt really woke him up to the reality of the situation.
I cannot promise I will be nice to him, but if he wants to try, why not let him try?
I think realizing you are dating Russian menace and best player in NHL will test his newfound ally…ness
Allegiance.
that cannot be right…
And you’re the second-best player in the League
I love that you think that

Team Burlington

Jackie, how would you feel about having JJ in your house again?
Jackie Pike
Mildly fine with that
Why?
We have a 3-day break next week, and Hayden is on the mend, so I thought maybe the Boston crew could drive up and visit? And maybe we invite JJ to lunch or something?
Lily
brunch
is much gayer
??
Marleau
I’m down
miss my babies
Jackie Pike
🥰🥰🥰
Hayden Pike
I think that’s a great idea!
Connors
And we can do manicures like we talked about that time!

Madame Jackie

Do you have any food allergies? I didn’t ask before
None at all Madame Jackie ^-^
Thank you for giving me a chance. I'm really looking forward to brunch
Ruby is holding a grudge against you, just so you know. We're working on not using violence to express her emotions but I cannot and will not guarantee she won't kick you in the shin
Do you have her mites yet? She has the soul of a defenseman
I will take my licks with honor
❤️

Miitka

I’m having brunch with capitaine and pikesy if you want to come
I’m sure they would not mind
Nah I’m good
You’re gonna make yourself a target
If those assholes want to come after me let them
I should not have tolerated their bullshit for so long
Whatever man
I’m keeping my head down until I hit free agency next season
Fair enough...
You would really leave?
I can’t do this toxic bullshit anymore. It’s not even funny at this point, it’s just tearing into people for no reason
What do I care if Pike’s a cuck? I had my laugh. Let’s talk about literally anything else
I don’t think that’s the situation
Whatever they wanna call it
:/

Miitka

Miitka.
Oh my god.
???
I cannot tell you specifics but holy shit
What? Did you walk in on Pike and Marleau spitroasting the wife?
NON
And do not speak so disrespectfully, asshole
🙄🙄🙄
It’s about capitaine…
He is dating someone and that someone is…
It is unacceptable
? wym?
I have to support him
He is my friend, and he asked me to be chill
But he could do so much better
Hollander doesn’t even hook up. How bad could this girl be?
Worse than you could imagine
In what way? Is she ugly?
Non!
My god. First of all there is no such thing as an ugly woman
Sure
What is it then?
She’s a Raiders fan
Oh
Well, that’s lame but it’s not like, an emergency
I know, I was just… jarred
For sure
Marleau is here btw
I don’t need to know about that
It’s not what gilbert thinks 🙄🙄🙄🙄
The three of them are acting like a couple, completely normal
I don’t think the “three” of them can act like a “couple”
You know what I mean! They’re in love. The kids call Marleau papa:)
Ew
:(

Miitka

[image] We’re doing manicures
Again: I really don’t need a play-by-play of your playedate with the freakshow
Who is that with the purple hair? Hollander’s girl?
Non, Connors
Connors is there??
Ouais, he is friends with Capitaine and Pikesy. No idea how that happened
Through Marleau, I guess
Could’ve gotten cap’s girl in the pic
Non, she moved out of the frame when I said I wanted to take a picture
Fucked up
She’s recognizable. Her and Capitaine don’t want to go public
??? Like a movie star?
Not quite, but you would recognize her. I understand why they feel a need for privacy
Hollander’s dating fucking Carmen Sandiego, got it
You’re not painting your nails, are you?
[image] I went with Voyageurs blue
Oh my god
J, you can’t come into practice like that. It’ll be a fucking blood bath
It’s just paint 🙄 who cares!
[image] I look good!
Fucking Marleau’s doing it?
He let the Pike twins pick his colors! He’s a good papa, I think
I will join him and do a little glitter, too
Braver man than I
Yes, I know

Mon Capitaine

Who are you texting so much?
Is everything okay?
If you’re in that stupid fucking groupchat liveblogging this whole thing, I swear to god JJ.
Non capitaine, I haven't opened that groupchat in weeks
I was talking to Miity
About what?
Sorry to be nosy, but you promised.
I did promise, Capitaine. And I am keeping that promise
I did tell him I was having brunch with all of you and Pikesy, and he said some fuckshit and I needed to correct him
Okay.
Thank you for telling me.
Sorry I snapped.
Anyone would, in your position

Situation Room

Miitka
JJ's got the inside scoop on the pike mess
The wife fully has marleau playing house with them. Kids calling him “papa”
Miity!!!
Miitka
What?
You asshole. I told you that in private for a reason
Comeau
holy shit
think she watches pike take it up the ass form marleau?
Drapeau
She seems like that kind of weirdo
Miitka
Y’all are way too obsessed with what three of them get up to in the bedroom
Taylor
Jesus, Pike is pathetic. I can’t believe I ever looked up to that guy
Stop this! Hayden is out friend and our teammate
Drapeau
Since when are you defending him?
They invite you to their freak circle or something?
Comeau
Yeah, are you fucking pass around pike too?
Fuck off. We all misunderstood their relationship and what was going on, and we were assholes about it
It is like Capitaine tried to tell us: they are ethically nonmonogamous. Polyamory
Taylor
Poly-whata?
Comeau
Some shit manipulative bitches made up so they can run around on their men
Taylor
How’s the divorce coming along btw, Coms?
Comeau
Get fucked
Drapeau
😂😂😂
The three of them love each other. They’re a family
Drapeau
Whatever
Miitka
Sure…
Taylor
fag shit
You have left this chat

Pikesy

Today was really good, man. It was nice to see you
You as well mon chum!
I'm glad you're feeling better. Cannot wait to get back on the ice with you:)

mon agente fantastique

I don’t want to renew my contract with Montreal after this season
Eh?? For why?
As much as I love Montreal, and have loved playing here, for our fans and out community… the locker room culture here has turned toxic in a way I cannot stomach any longer
Okay. Shit. Where were you thinking instead?

Mon Capitaine

Are the guys giving you shit?
Yes, but I am trying not to let it bother me
I don’t understand how they could turn on all of us like this, you me and pikesy
You really don’t get it?
Well…
I suppose what I mean is that I didn’t expect this from them
I feel like I’ve been turning a blind eye to bullshit in this sport for so long, that I started to tolerate it more than I should
I get that. You can’t call it out every time, or you’re seen as a problem.
Exactly! So you go oh, that’s not so bad. That’s not bad enough to complain about it. That’s not so, that’s not so bad
Over and over until you’re laughing and joking with people who don’t even really see you as a person
Yeah. This is what we were trying to prevent by lying about Cliff and Jackie's couple's weekend.
I understand that now
And I’m even more sorry for what I did
You started from a good place, JJ. And I’m glad you’re the kind of person who will call out cheating when you see it, but I wish you had listened to Hayden and I at Vino & Veritas.
Yes, me too

Team Burlington

Jackie
Literally staring at our driveway rn waiting for Hayden to come home
I feel like a war widow
When will my husband return from practice…
how do we think it went?
Holzy
It was the normal amount of awful. It’s so nice to have Hayden back with us, especially now that JJ has come around.
But I feel like the three of us are on an island together.
fucked up
Baby 💕
Hey, I just got out of a meeting with Theriault and the GM
Jackie
Oh no?
Holzy
Why didn’t I hear about this?
Baby💕
Not sure, but…
Baby💕
So, when I was negotiating my contract with Montreal, I gave up a no-trade clause for a slightly higher salary, cause I knew I wanted to start saving for the kids and college funds and stuff
are you saying that for the reasons I think you’re saying it?
Jackie
Oh my god
Baby💕
They handed me an envelope with my trade notice in it, and told me “I think you know why this is happening”
Rozie
Shane just got up and left his condo
Baby💕
What?
Rozie
He didn’t say anything, but he read Pike’s messages and put on his shoes and left. He is still wearing pajama pants
Jackie
Love, where are you?
Baby💕
In my car in the parking lot. Should I try calling Shane?
Rozie
his phone is here
where are they sending you, sweetness?
Baby💕
I haven’t opened the envelope yet
What if it’s like Washington? Or Arizona?
What if they founded a new team in Alaska just for me?
well, they probably didn’t do that
< span class="grouptext">Connie
HAYDEN OPEN THE ENVELOPE
Baby💕
???
Jackie
Don’t yell at my husband >:(
Connie
Sorry, Jackie. But Hayden! Open it!!
team just got an email. Open that thang
Baby💕
Holy shit
Jackie
Okay this changes some things
Rozie
welcome to the bear cave, pike!

Coach LeClaire

Why is the PR girl emailing me about you?
PR woman. I gotta stop calling a girl. She’s 29
Why is Cindy emailing me about you and Hayden Pike?
not sure…
he just got traded, I know
Yeah, Montreal handed him over for two draft picks and song.
Idiots. Let’s see how long it takes Hollander to rebuild his routine without his best wing.
Why is the GM calling me right now Marleau????
could be a couple things
Get. To. My office. Now.

Mom

Shane Hollander.
Yes?
Did you tell the general manager of the Montreal Voyageurs to go fuck himself?
Yes.
Why?
Because he traded Hayden in retaliation for him being queer.
Oh!
Okay then.
Farrah is contact with Boston right now. She’s going to CC you on some stuff. I’m sorry for acting impulsively but I’m not going to apologize for walking away. I know I haven’t been very open with you and dad about what’s been going on, but I can’t fucking do this anymore, mom. I’ll play in a rec league in Ottawa before I step into a locker room with those assholes again.
Couples things:
1: I am so, so proud of you for staying true to yourself and sticking to what you believe in, and for standing up for your friend. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you, also being queer and seeing Hayden mistreated. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
2: Shane Hollander is not playing in a rec league. I need to hop on a call with Rolex. Do not post anything. Keep an eye on your email, and texts from Farrah. I love you.
I love you, too.

Dad

Your mother tells me you might play for Boston.
Yeah. I know it's a long way to visit.
But it's a nice drive.
Can I ask if supporting Hayden is the only reason for Boston specifically?
What’d you mean?
Well, might there be a special someone waiting there for you?
The plan was to introduce you over the summer. We’ve been seeing each other for a bit, but we just got together officially recently.
That’s wonderful, son.
I’m so glad you have someone, and that it worked out that the two of you can be closer.
And I’m so sorry you had to leave Montreal the way you did.
Yeah, me too.
Maybe we’ll come down to Boston for part of the summer and spend some time as a family.
That sounds awesome.

Team Burlington

Ilya’s been helping me with Visa stuff. I’m gonna forward you a couple things.
Hayden Pike
Nice, thanks
Jackie and the kids are staying in MTL until the school year finishes, and we'll transition them over the summer
Marleau
not beating the divorce allegations
Jackie Pike
🙄🙄🙄
Hayden Pike
The upside is: I’m moving in with Cliff for the rest of the season
Marleau
😎
Lily
Shane isn’t moving in with me because he hates me((((
That’s not what I said.
Connors
🧐 Idk Hollywood that’s it sounds like to me
I just don’t know if I’m ready for that!
Jackie Pike
Awwww
Marleau
roz, don’t be clingy
Lily
😭😭😭 I will be all alone
Connors
I’ve got an extra bedroom if you’re looking, Holz
Lily
Ah! That is perfect!
Why is that perfect?
Marleau
Rozie and Cons live in the same building downtown
Connors
You can have the east-facing bedroom
Amazing
Lily
🎉🎉🎉
Jackie Pike
Now we just have to Arson to Boston…
Connors
Whoa whoa whoa

Ursids of unusual size

Hammersmith has added you to this chat
Hammersmith
🔫If you got traded for being racist you have tell us right now or else it’s entrapment
🏳️I did not get traded for being racist
Carpenter
Like the League would take something like that seriously
I got traded for being queer
Carpenter
WHAT
Hammersmith
Boooooooo
Sebbin
yo what the fuck
Carmichael
Their loss!!!! Their LOSS!!
Hammersmith
Welcome to Boston, friend:)
I’m like actually tearing up right now, this is crazy
Thank you
St-Simone
I think I know things……………
Hammersmith
👀
Sebbin
What’s up Vic?
St-Simone
I THINK I KNOW SOMETHING
Carpenter
Okay? Spill?
Hammersmith
Again I say 👀
Lily (Shane)
Vic, do not say things you cannot take back
St-Simone
I’m going to explode. I have to text Marly
Carmichael
Is something wrong is this just gos?
Carpenter
If it’s gos I wanna know now. like wtf?
Loverboy
You idiots being nice to my boyfriend?
Yeah, they’re chill
Carpenter
WHAT
Hammersmith
😱😱😱
Sebbin
????
Carmichael
HELLO????
Dubek
BOYFRIEND
Koslov
Stop right now WHAT
Feller
My phone is going to explode what is going on
BOYFRIEND!?
St-Simone
I HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG
Carmichael
Waaaaaiiiit your Montreal girl
Hammersmith
Hell yeah brother
Sebbin
Um?
[Link: https://www.instagram.com/actualhaydenpike]
Sebbin
Isn’t that your wife in those pictures?
Yeah:)
Carpenter
Say more right now
Hammersmith
This is either the best or worse thing that’s ever happened to me
Loverboy
She’s also ☝️ my girlfriend
Sebbin
Aaaaah okay. Cool
Connors
Oh good I’m gonna unclench now
Lily (Shane)
Yes, that was fucking terrifying
Assholes. Why did you not say you planned to come out?
Loverboy
I’m gonna be honest: did that by accident
Lily (Shane)
For fuck’s sake
BABE
Connors
I have to lie down
Hammersmith
Wait wait wait!!
How did this happen?
Loverboy
okay, so
Carpenter
This is gonna be good
Carmichael
Wait I have to tell my wife
Can I tell my wife?
Sure:)
Sebbin
Getting ideas Carmy?
Carmichael
Not! Necessarily!
Loverboy
okay, so
Feller
Hang on. Really quickly.
Just super fast.
We owe st vic so much money
Hammersmith
FUCK
Loverboy
lol

JJ the Jet Plane

How are you doing mon chum?
Good! Better now that I’m all settled in
How are things back home?
Awful. Annoying. Stupid.
I hate these people. I cannot wait to get out of here. And there is no way we’re going to the finals, not with Comeau at the helm
Comeau??
Oh my god
That is what I said!

Triangles are the strongest shape

My Wife:)
The bed’s really empty without you:(
How are things in Boston? Have Nona and Ma gotten to visit yet?
I actually Reallydon’t wann talk about our in-laws rn, babe
My Wife:)
?
Did something happen?
No!
No, everything’sakgg
Fine
My Wife:)
Can I call you?
Yespl
pleas
Loverboy
no, he has to text
My Wife:)
:( ?
Loverboy
using two parts of his brain
Babt he’s sodeep
Loverboy
type properly baby, or you won’t get your reward
My Wife:)
!!!
Sahfoie
Sdsss I
My Wife:)
This doesn’t look like proper typing to me :/
Loverboy
tell Jacks how good it feels, sweetness
jackei
Jack
I;
Loverboy
he’s so pretty [image]
My Wife:)
Awwwww ^-^ he gets so stupid when he’s getting fucked
‘m not stupid
Loverboy
that was almost a full sentence

Dad

Have you contacted a lawyer yet?
I decided I’m not going to sue the Voyageurs org
Sue? Sue for what?
Harassment, and inaction in the face of that harassment
But like I said, I decided I’m not going to go through the whole ordeal
Why else would I need a lawyer?
Sometimes I worry about you, son
A divorce lawyer
???
For what?
You’re being impossible on purpose
I’m just trying to understand! Who’s getting divorced?
Hayden. You cannot remain married to this poor woman while running around with that D-man. I don’t have a problem with you being gay, but you’re going to set a bad example for the kids. How would you feel if they stayed with someone they were cheating on?
I would expect none of the kids would cheat on their partner, just as I am not cheating on either of my partners
I understand that your mom and I splitting up really affected you and your brother, but the solution is not staying in a bad situation
My situation is actually very good. Cliff and I are having lunch with his Ma and Nona and then we’re going to facetime Jackie and the kids
I really wish you would take this seriously

My Wife:)

Hiiiiii
Hi baby
Hayden!
Jackie!
How drunk are you?
😡
A lil 🤏
Love that for you
I miss you 😡😡😡😡
You’re so far away😡
It’s not fair 😡
I miss you too
I miss the kids so much
They miss you! Ruby has concocted a scheme to end the school year early so we can move down sooner
How viable is it?
Oh not At All
First of all: she Cannot burn the school down, even with Jade and her friends helping
That would be a setback, yeah

Ursids of unusual size

Sebbin
asked the equipment guys to order more pride tape if anyone else wants to use some
Lily (Shane)
excellent idea. we should all be gay as possible for game against montreal
Hammersmith
You’re saying we should make out with each other
Carmichael
Nadine says I’m only allowed to kiss guys who are also married
St-Simone
This is a rule you have always had?
Carmichael
No, she’s just reading over my shoulder
St-Simone
Hi nadine
Lily (Shane)
hello mrs. nadine
Hammersmith
hi nady!!!
Carmichael
She says hi:)
We’re doing pride tape?
Sebbin
Why not?
Hammersmith
I vote yes
Lily (Shane)
there is bi pride in equipment room already if you want it, pike
Loverboy
oh nice
Sebbin
What’s the difference?
Connors
The bi pride flag is pink, blue, and purple, for attraction to women, men, and nonbinary people
Basically every queer identity has their own flag, and the colors generally mean different things
St-Simone
Merci Monsieur Research
Sebbin
Ohhhhh. I thought it was just the rainbow one and the pink and blue one for trans people
Connors
No, there’s a bunch
Sebbin
I wonder if we could get a hold of tape for all the different colors
You guys aren’t just doing this for me are you?
Loverboy
also me
Sebbin
Partly, but also cause fuck montreal
Carmichael
Fuck Montreal!!!!
St-Simone
It will not make you uncomfortable, will it mes frères?
Loverboy
sounds good to me
I guess I just got used to keeping my head down
Pride tape is great
Lily (Shane)
no need to hide anymore
Carpenter
Carmy: my fiancé says we can kiss if we want, she just wants to see
Carmichael
Rad!

Ursids of unusual size

Lily has added you to this chat
Lily
everyone welcome our new second-string center
Carpenter (#33)
Coach said he wants You to move to wing, roz
Hello! I wish the circumstances of me joining you guys was different, but I'm really excited to join such a dedicated, high-performing team.
I can't wait to get on the ice with everyone and get to know the team.
Hammersmith (#99)
Get a load a’ this guy…
Lily
hollander is very professional
is admirable
not going to fit in here though
Carmichael (#18)
Yeah! Relax, Hollander
St-Simone (#42)
Oui, it’s chillzone here
Oh my god has Hayden already infected you guys?
Carpenter (#33)
Pikers?
Hammersmith (#99)
Isn’t chillzone a Marly thing?
Sebbin (#06)
Yeah that’s marls
Oh?
Hayden’s been saying “chillzone” like that for years, especially when he’s drunk.
Carpenter (#33)
WAIT
Carmichael (#18)
Stoppppp Pikers must’ve infected Marly first and he got the rest of us
St-Simone (#42)
That’s so cute
Sebbin (#06)
omg
Hammersmith (#99)
I love love 🥺
Marleau
😎 guilty
Hayden Pike
Chillzone is a perfectly acceptable turn of phrase
No.
Carpenter (#33)
Boys, we appear to have inherited some kind of in-joke
Hammersmith(#99)
Fantastic
So, you all are really cool with Hayden and Marleau?
🔫 Like actually.
Sebbin (#06)
Yeah!
Carmichael (#18)
Oh for sure
Hammersmith (#99)
we love parleau:)
Carmichael (#18)
Why wouldn’t we be chill?
Carpenter (#33)
Homophobia is real, carms
Parleau?
Hammersmith (#99)
it’s their ship name:D
and it works with their wife too, since she’s also a Pike
Hayden Pike
They’ve been really cool, Shane. Promise.
Marleau
we’re all good
Sebbin (#06)
Yeah, it’s chillzone over here
Amazing.

Dad

How are things in Boston so far?
They’re really good actually… I was expecting it take longer for me to feel at home, but the team has been so welcoming, and I feel like Ilya, Hayden, and I are really falling into step on the ice.
That’s wonderful to hear, son. Your mother and I have tickets to the Boston/Montreal game coming up. Looking forward to it.
You guys didn’t have to pay for tickets.
We don’t mind. You can pay for them when we come down to Boston. And maybe we’ll be able to sit with your young man.
No, that won’t be possible.
:( Why not? I know you said you planned to introduce us over the summer, but you know we’d love to meet him.
That isn’t what I meant, Dad. You won’t be able to sit with my partner during the game because he’ll be on the ice with me.
Well, how ‘bout that.

Ursids of unusual size

Sebbins (#06)
I'm surprised we have the cap space for both of y'all and cap tbh
Connors
And we didn’t lose anyone else, right?
Hammersmith (#99)
Meijers got sent down, but he’s been angling for it for a while
Carpenter (#33)
Yeah, I think the big league pressure was getting to him
Hammersmith (#99)
Ohhh we should all go to one of his games to support him
Connors
For sure!
You guys go to feeder team games?
Carmichael (#18)
yeah, all the time
Lily
the big dippers are our little babies. we have to show them we care
To answer Sebbins' question, I took a significant pay cut as part of my contract with Boston.
Lily
hollander is connie’s sugar baby, living in his apartment
Connors
Hey now.
Lily
sleeping on his dinosaur bedsheets
I brought my own bedding to Boston, Ilya.
Connors
They’re dragons, actually. Arson thinks they’re cool
Lily
📝Arson is seeing bedsheets
Sebbins (#06)
No one calls me Sebbin except Coach. Sebs is fine
Sebs, sorry.
Sebs (#06)
You’re all good
St-Simone (#42)
Our first Canadian Apology™, I think
Are you not also Canadian, St-Simone?
St-Simone (#42)
?? I am French!
Oh! I thought you were Quebecois.
St-Simone (#42)
I’m from Lyon!
Whoops!
Carmichael (#18)
There are Frenches in Canada. I’ve seen them
St-Simone (#42)
I will stab you, Carmy. I just fucking will
Carpenter (#33)
Holzy, you don’t have to answer this in the groupchat but why’d you take that cut? Were teams not fighting over you?
Carmichael (#18)
Yeah, the Avs have to be throwing up rn
I got a few offers through my agent but I was only ever considering Boston. I can negotiate a higher salary after the first two season with the Bears, but I wanted McSheehy to know I was serious about signing and staying with Boston. Plus, I wanted a no-trade clause, which took me down a little more.
Hayden Pike
:( sorry buddy
Jackie said I’m supposed to pinch you if you apologize for any of this shit.
You were literally being harassed.
Connors
Yeah!!!
Carmichael (#18)
I mean, obviously none of us were there but the situation in Montreal sounded fetid
Carpenter (#33)
you guys were a nightmare to play against
Hammersmith (#99)
The vibes were fucking Bad. It’s good you got out of there
St-Simone (#42)
Any team that would trade you for having a hot boyfriend doesn’t deserve you
Marleau
aw vic, you think I’m hot?
St-Simone (#42)
I have eyes, Marleau
Lily
plus I hear hollander is dating rich supermodel, so he does not need money
Hammersmith (#99)
Supermodel👀
Connors
Wait I thought he was my sugar baby
Lily
yes but that is not for love
Connors
Oh I see
Hammersmith (#99)
yeah yeah, shut up about your bit. Supermodel 👀
Sebs (#06)
Didn’t Elsa Greenberg say in an interview she was dating an NHL player?
Hammersmith (#99)
Oh shit!
I'm not dating a supermodel 🙄.
I don’t know who that is, also.
Sebs (#06)
You don’t know who Elsa Greenberg is??
Lily
not everyone is addicted to watching The View
Hayden Pike
Shane signed with Boston because he wants to join my polycule
Feller (#68)
Starting a fucking collection???
Hayden Pike
Yes:)
🙄🙄🙄 Don't make jokes like that, Hayd. You know half the Voys think I'm also sleeping with Jackie.
Marleau
the other half think we keep hayden in a cage at home
Sebs (#06)
??? Hello??
Carpenter (#33)
Okay I need So much more backstory rn. Why do they think Hollywood’s in the ‘cule?
Lily
he stands next to Jackie sometimes
Hayden Pike
Shane and I are good friends and so when they found out about Parleau they were gross about it
Cause obviously if Jackie has 2 partners, she must be fucking every guys in her life
Hammersmith (#99)
Woooow
Carpenter (#33)
Losers
Carmichael (#18)
Are you dating anyone, Hollywood? My wife Nadine organizes the WAGs' wine night and stuff
I am dating someone but we can't be out right now.
Carpenter (#33)
Oh fucked up
Hammersmith (#99)
:( hate that for you
It's alright. We're making the most of it.

Lily

I'm not sure I understand the sugarbaby jokes you're making in the groupchat.
what is not to understand?
you know this word, yes?
I know what a sugarbaby is, but Connors isn't supporting me or anything. We split the rent evenly.
ah
is just teasing, zaychik
I did not mean literally, and I do not think the guys believe connie is supporting you. and I did not mean anything by it
I don't want anyone to think I'm not pulling my weight.
anyone who sees work you put in on the ice will see that you pull much more than your own weight
I'm sorry you cannot be paid what you are worth right now
It's alright. I understood that my actions would have consequences. And it's not like I'm not still making a decent amount, just way less than with Montreal.
and you still have rolex money
And mom says she's in talks with Speedo.
???
you are not serious
What’s wrong?
lyubimyy... in tiny speedo swimsuit....
I’m going to pass out
You’ll be fine.

Seasoned Professionals

Carpenter (#33) has added you to this chat
Suzuki (#41 Centaurs)
Oh fucking finally
Hello?
Carpenter (#33)
Welcome to team melanin, Hollander
Chatfield (#50 Whalers)
This is our groupchat for NHL players of color
Suzuki (#41 Centaurs)
And I was the only Asian in here!!!! Hi shane:)
Khaira (#61 Drillers)
Hey >:(
Suzuki (#41 Centaurs)
Sorry!
*east asian. I gotta stop doing that
Carpenter (#33)
You really do
Chatfield (#50 Whalers)
Carpy’s the one who started the chat, so it’s mostly folks he’s played with on Boston and NY
But welcome!
Carpenter (#33)
Trying to add more people when we can
Khaira (#61 Drillers)
We mostly complain, and coordinate hang out when some of us are in the same place
Oh! Cool!
I could’ve used something like this back in Montreal if I’m being honest.
Greaves (#37 Bluebelles)
Were you all alone up there:(
No. I don't know if you know JJ Dagenais, one of our defensemen. He's Black. We could add him to this chat if we wanted.
Greaves (#37 Bluebelles)
Great idea!
*their defensemen. That feels so weird.
Greaves (#37 Bluebelles)
Yeah I get that. I was in Florida for 4 years before moving up to Ohio.
Carpenter (#33)
Hopefully Boston starts to feel like home soon. And yeah, we can add Dagenais.
I mean, if he's chill. THe way youve talked about the Voys, idk if you want that energy in here
JJ's working on some stuff, but he's chill
Carpenter (#33)
Rad. Add him.
You have added Jean Jacques Dagenais to this chat
Jean Jacques Dagenais
Hello? What is this?

Ursids of unusual size

Marleau
What do we want on the pizzas?
Hammersmith (#99)
pep+peppers
Carmichael (#18)
Onions?
Carpenter (#33)
Let’s do like, one meat lovers and one onion+mush
Hammersmith (#99)
Are we getting cinnamon sticks?
Marleau
obviously we’re getting cinnamon sticks
Lily
get salad for hollander
You don’t have to get me anything special.
Lily
@Marly get salad for no one in particular
Marleau
Holz you want chicken or bacon on your salad?
Really, it’s fine.
Hayden Pike
Cobb salad with grilled chicken and dressing on the side for no one in particular
Guys.
Connors
Get loved and cherished, idiot

Team Burlington

Jackie, I met a few of the Bears’ WAGs today. Have you talked to them at all?
Jackie Pike
They added me to the groupchat
They’re so nice!
Connors
I asked Arson if they wanted to join the chat but they’re nervous
Jackie Pike
I’ll text them!
Lily
too bad Shane is also Bear now, could be in groupchat with the gorls
🙄🙄🙄
Jackie Pike
Are you guys gonna come out?
(Wouldn't that be dangerous?)
Lily
would be, da
as long as I have russian passport, I cannot be openly queer or with shane
but I don’t think I will be returning to russia very often after this summer. I promised my niece I would visit this year, but after that, I do not know
I want to be happy, and returning there will not do that
Marleau
sorry things are hard with your family, cap
I am really excited to be playing on the same team, though.
Lily
yes, me too
Jackie Pike
Cuties!!!

Team Burlington

Jackie Pike
I’m bringing the kids down for the team barbeque!
Connors
Nice!!!!
Arson’s coming too:)
Hammersmith said it was a potluck but I’m not sure what to bring.
Lily
real food only
first rule of team barbeque
I am bringing pelmeni
Marleau
do something vegetarian. We’ve got a few people who don’t eat meat and there’s never that many options for them
I can do that.

Lily

Made it back to my place.
you could come upstairs…
I want to get used to sleeping in a new place.
I could come down there👉👈
Yeah, okay.
!!!
on my way lyubimyy!!!

Team Burlington

Jackie Pike
Just got the kids to bed
Oh, whoops. Wrong chat
Lily
good night baby pikes
Connors
Sweet dreams 💕
Marleau
miss all of you like crazy
Hayden Pike
Can’t wait to see you again, babe
Love you
Jackie Pike
Love you
Marleau
love you
Connors
Love you!
Lily
love you 💕💕💕
Love you.