Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Jean-Jacques Boiziau| J.J. Dagenais/Carter Vaughn

Characters:

Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais, Carter Vaughn, Shane Hollander, Zane Boodram, Svetlana Vetrova, Ilya Rozanov, Kip Grady, Scott Hunter (Game Changers)

Additional Tags:

Jean-Jacques Boiziau - Freeform, Carter Vaughn - Freeform, Shane is a little oblivious but supportive, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, This shit kinda emotional ngl, Ilya Rozanov is Bisexual Fairy Godfather, Svetlana is here and hot, Scott is also here., Supportive Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), We're not going to the cottage, we're going to the ranch, because why is Carter from North Dakota for real?, Religious Guilt, Found Family, J.J. is a whore, Aight ima stop fucking around in the tags, wait i just remembered more, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Smut, So much smut, they are fucking, okay bye lol, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Being Assholes (Game Changers), Homophobic Language, Homophobia, no beta because fuck alla dat fr lol, Implied/Referenced Racism, Racist Language

Language:

English

Series:

Part 2 of Shane and Dem Boyz

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-22 Completed: 2026-04-24 Words: 41,552 Chapters: 12/12

Mec, j'ai besoin

Summary

J.J. reminded himself every morning to be thankful. To be thankful for life, to be thankful for being a successful defensive man on a successful hockey team, to be thankful for his family and most importantly - to be thankful for the brothers he accumulated by playing the sport that he loves. However, in this continuous basking of thankfulness and gratitude, J.J. has sometimes found himself feeling empty. He was told many times that he was a complex puzzle, full of excitement and whimsy but very hard to put together. On many days, he felt completed; all the pieces matching together - creating a picture of beauty, wonder, and sometimes grace. But there were plenty days where he felt the piece or pieces were missing. He sought day in and day out to figure that out.

or the J.J. looks for the missing piece and finds it in Carter Vaughn.

Chapter 1: Mutt

Chapter Notes

Hello wonderful people. I hope all is well with you.
This is part 2 of the Shane and dem boyz series. If you've read the first part (We Are African Americans... and Mark(Shane)) you would realize that this is now cannon for the world I am building. While you do not have to read the first fic, I highly recommend as parts of that fic will be intertwined in this one (plus it's really funny).
- Title Mec, j’ai besoin - French for “Man I Need” inspired by Olivia Dean’s song.
- Shout out to VanGoghingToSleep for having the same thought process as me. This entire fic is dedicated to them.
- This fic will take a different tone than the first one, fleshing out the characters of J.J. and Carter and building their love story.
- J.J will speak Haitian Creole (mostly with his family) and French (mostly with Shane)
- Translations that aren’t stated in the story will be in the end notes.
- Cw slight mentions of religious trauma.
- Also no beta, I am the beta. So if you read something weird, no you didn’t

Song: Mutt - Leon Thomas

J.J. reminded himself every morning to be thankful. To be thankful for life, to be thankful for being a successful defensive man on a successful hockey team, to be thankful for his family and most importantly - to be thankful for the brothers he accumulated by playing the sport that he loves. However, in this continuous basking of thankfulness and gratitude, J.J. has sometimes found himself feeling empty. He was told many times that he was a complex puzzle, full of excitement and whimsy but very hard to put together. On many days, he felt completed; all the pieces matching together - creating a picture of beauty, wonder, and sometimes grace. But there were plenty days where he felt the piece or pieces were missing. He sought day in and day out to figure that out.

When he was a teen, he thought the missing piece was hockey. He poured his entire life into the sport. He was the first one on the ice, and the last one to leave. He would watch the greats and mimic their moves, hoping to impress the various recruits.

By 20, he had hockey, but he still felt empty. He looked around his locker room, looking from solace from the other men. In his attempts of locker room commadore, he found himself attached to hips of Hayden Pike and what he moniker as MHL’s greatest, Shane Hollander.  He looked to Hayden for guidance and support and leaned on Shane for comfort as they navigated the league as one of the few minorities. And then 2014 happened, he found himself in a group chat with Shane, New York’s Carter Vaughn, and Ottawa’s newest rookie Zane Boodram. A chat centered on the struggles they faced as minorities, hoping to provide support for each other. It became family. J.J. assumed that this was the missing piece.

Then one day, Shane sat him and Hayden down. Shane’s eyes were brimmed with tears, holding on to the truth that would change the trajectory of their lives forever. When Shane slowly whispered the words “I’m gay” J.J. felt his stomach immediately turn. It was not one disgust or disappointment, but one of realization. While he pushed the initial reaction down to show his support to his friend, his frère, his capitaine, the thought haunted him for days. On the third day he called Shane with a slight panic in his voice but hoping that they both can support each other in the information he was about to share.

“I didn’t want to say it when you came out to us, because I felt that moment needed to be about you, but...” He took a deep breath, finally about to admit out loud about the life he has been living since he was 16 years. “Je pense que non, je suis bisexual Shane. Plusieurs fois, j’ai eu des relations sexuelles avec des hommes, et parfois je préfère même ça.”

J.J. thought that was the final piece. While he knew that he couldn’t live his truth out loud, he knew he would be able to confide in his brother. That was March 2017. Then the following May, after the concussion, the broken collar bone, and the Voyageurs out of the playoffs, Shane sat both down again. The following information shook his world.

“I’ve been in some sort of relationship with a player since my rookie year.”

“What about Boston Lily?” Hayden questioned. The silence between the three men grew loud as they started to put the pieces together. Without saying a further word, they knew that Boston Lily was now Ilya Rozanov.

It took a while for J.J. to process that information. That was supposed to be their rival, the evil compared to Shane’s good. The anti-Christ that no one spoke nicely about. Then the information started to bring more comfort to him. It wasn’t just him and Shane in the league who was holding on to what was deem a dark secret. J.J. finally thought that was the final piece.

June 2017, the Admirals won. J.J. found himself tracking Carter Vaughn’s movement as he celebrated on the ice, and then his world view change, Scott Hunter kissed a man. Frantically typing away in the shared group chat, he wondered what this meant. While they laughed at Boodram’s initial statement, it truly had him wondering, what does that mean for the league? J.J. found himself being a little less careful, feeling a little more free, willing to explore, flirt and get loose. The last serious relationship he had didn’t work. His mother questioning her loyalty and her intentions with her son. Once the woman was out of his mother’s sight, she sternly said to him “Pa fè fanm sa a tounen lakay mewn.”  Do not bring that woman back into my house.  Since then, he never brought anyone back to his mother. He wondered what her reaction would be if he brought a man home, if he would be welcomed -if J.J. would be welcomed.

He knew his up bringing - strict, religious, Haitian. There would be times his mother and aunts would pray for hours about his safety and hopes he don’t become a worldly person. His first tattoo brought him a cursing that still sends shivers down his spine. The first pictures of him out in the club triggered a five-hour prayer meeting amongst his aunts and the church elders. So, bringing a man home sounded like a horrible idea every time he thought about it. It didn’t mean he didn’t love his mother; it just made his love for her a little more complicated.

“Map renmwn ou toujou. Ou se ti bebe mwen Jean-Jaques.” I will always love you. You are my baby.  “Wi manman, mewn konnen.” Yes mommy, I know.

This brings J.J. to his current reality. December 2020 and the Voyageurs just beat the Admirals 4-3 in an exhilarating game. It was also the end of a grueling road trip that had the team spending a week on the west coast and another going up the east. A clear sign that the MHL scheduling department hates them. They won at Edmonton, and he met with a Haitian woman named Sophie. A statement win in Vancouver where he met with a blue eyed- blonde guy named Issac. A close loss in LA, where he drowned his sorrows in the arms of Emma from Compton and Cyril from Uganda.  Easy wins in Tampa and New Jersey, celebrated with quick blowjobs from names he couldn’t remember. It was indeed a road trip.

Exhausted couldn’t fully described what J.J. felt. His body was tired, his brain was out of it, and he just wanted to relax. This is how he and Shane found themselves at the Kingfisher, waiting to hang out with Carter. By this time, it was normal for those who supported Scott Hunter to visit the bar, contributing to the business and if nosey enough, to see the man that captured Hunter’s heart. Tonight was a slower night, as most patrons left when the clock went to zero. This was perfect. It gave the players time to catch up and not having to be bothered with fans trying to get into their space.

“Kip honestly should charge you guys double. I think that’s a fair deal.” Carter’s voice laced with amusement, snapped J.J. out of his thoughts. The three men laughed as three pints of beers were placed in front of them.  

“Sounding like a sore loser Vaughny. I expect better from you.” Shane said with a bright smile across his face, knowing that he scored the winning goal.

“Yeah, don’t be a mauvais perdant Vaughny.” J.J. stuck his tongue out. Carter rolled his eyes at the teasing before bringing his pint to his lips. J.J. felt himself take a deep breath as his eyes lingered as how the Carter’s pinks lips attached itself the glass. He found himself always being extra attentive to the older man but never dared to make a move. J.J. quickly picked up his glass, swallowing more beer than he intended. He needed to keep whatever he is feeling down. He would keep the filthy thoughts for later, where it was just himself on the hotel bed, stroking his dick at his wild imagination.

Shane turned to J.J. with a raised brow as he felt the man next to him tense. His eyes then darted towards to Carter, who was also watching J.J. with dark eyes, eyes that he hasn’t seen before, eyes that probably mean something different. Unsure on the quiet game that was being played between his friends, he quickly cleared his throat, snapping them out of their haze.

“Y’all okay?” Shane chuckled before taking a sip of his beer. J.J. quickly adjusted him in the seat, fixing his posture to elevate his already tall height. Carter quickly but his glass down as he nodded his head with a bashful smile.

“Well, I lost, so not really.” Carter quickly joked. Shane hummed at the response before allowing the conversation to bleed into one about what’s happening around the league, random pop culture tidbits and the occasionally weird flirting that was happening between J.J. and Carter.

Soon enough, the night was ending and two Voyageurs needed to get back to their hotel by the team’s mandated curfew.

“Vaughny, there is no need to walk us to our hotel. It’s only two blocks away.” J.J. mentioned as he zipped up his winter jacket, bracing for the coldness of NYC’s winter. Shane nodded his head in agreement as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“J.J. is right, I think us two big boys are perfectly fine.” Shane chuckled pushing the door for them to exit. Carter shrugged as he finished zipping up his coat and braced for the cold.

“Exactly, it’s only two blocks and I should be a good host.” He mentioned as the three got into step down the sidewalk. “Plus J.J. had to show me his Nintendo switch that he forgot to bring.”

“Sounds like a good point to me.” Shane shrugged. J.J. hummed as he looked up and made eye contact with Carter. J.J. swore to himself as he watched the man’s brown eyes twinkled under the harsh yellow tones of the city’s lights. As if he was communicating something, want, need, lust. J.J. swallowed, quickly setting back into the conversation that Shane was initiating. It was only two blocks; he kept reminding himself. Carter would check out the game console and leave. He would be to his own devices to live in his own filthy thought. The night could only go this way. J.J. would calm the beast that made him the teams slut, because this felt forbidden.

“Thank God we know how to walk quickly.” Shane huffed as the warm air of the hotel lobby hit their faces. “Why is it so fucking cold?”
 “As a Canadian, I’m surprised you’re complaining.” Carter laughed as their bodies moved towards the elevators.

“Just because I’ve lived in the cold all my life, doesn’t mean I like it.” Shane huffed, pressed the up button to call the elevator.

“Pareil, I am not made for this shit. I deserve to be in the tropics.” J.J. also complained. Carter laughed at the two men as the empty elevator opened. The three them took a step in, with Shane hitting the button for the 6^th floor and J.J. for the 8^th. The quick ride up was silent, as the men took in the moment to regain themselves. As the elevator reached to the 6^th, Shane gave his goodbyes, giving Carter a quick hug and reminding J.J. that they need to be downstairs for 7am.  Once the elevator closed again, J.J. found himself inching towards Carter more.

“Sheesh, a 7am call time, and it’s already 2:30, don’t worry, I wouldn’t keep you up late.” Carter mentioned with a bright smile. J.J. let out a deep chuckle as he ran his hands over his face.  

“I’m not worried about me reaching in time, I’m worried if you’re able to keep up.” J.J. smiled to himself at the flirt, as the elevator opened. Carter was a step behind, jaw slightly ajar at his statement J.J’s mind immediately imagined it opened wider, wondering how his lips would look wrapped around his dick. He let out a small growl, hopping that he could pushed the thought to the back of his head. He had to remind himself that those were thoughts for later.

As they got to the room, J.J. quickly pulled out the key card, pressing it against the lock until the door clicked. Pushing it open, he stepped in, letting Carter close the door behind him.

“Let me go get the switch.” J.J. mumbled as he rushed to his bag where the device was. He felt’s Carter presence looming behind him, and his thoughts were starting to mush into one. He had no idea where admiration started and where lust ended, but he had to do one thing before he went insane.

J.J. turned around with the console in his hand and quickly threw it on the bed. In two quick strides he moved towards Carter and pulled him closer by his jacket. The self-control, the restraint, all left the window as he pressed his lips against Carter’s. His brain finally catching up with his actions, chastised him, but was immediately put to rest as Carter kissed him back. Deeply, passionately, grabbing J.J’s face closer to him. As the kiss got sloppier, the two men quickly pulled back, with their heavy breaths filling the room.

“Merde”

Chapter End Notes

Ahhhh thank you for reading. I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Please share your thoughts in the comments, I love reading them. As I mentioned in the previous fic, I believe all these POC characters deserve the love, kindness and exploration. Thanks Rachel for birthing them, now I’ll give them life.

The next chapter will get steamy so yeah.
And yes, J.J. is a slut, a whore, because wym you don’t remember the names??

Translations:
Je pense que non, je suis bisexuel, Shane. Plusieurs fois, j'ai eu des relations sexuelles avec des hommes, et parfois je préfère même ça. - I think, no I am bisexual Shane. Many times I've had sex with men, and sometimes even prefer it.
Muavais perdant - sore loser
Pareil - same
Merde - fuck

Chapter 2: Just A Taste

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration: Taste by Coco Jones

Chapter Notes

Translations at the end.

“Holy Shit.”

Carter closed his eyes tightly as his body pulled away from the man in front of him. His brain replayed the moment, soft lips pressed against his, crushing, fighting for dominance, full of passion, laced heavy with lust and filled with something unidentifiable. His brain sprinted miles per hour trying to process everything. He was not just kissing a man, he was kissing a fellow NHL star, a man that just beat him on his home ice. A friend, a really, really, close friend.

“Holy Shit.” He mumbled softer. Carter slowly peeled his eyes opened, bracing for what’s next. The soft yellow lights of the hotel room filled his eyes as he saw the taller defensive lineman watched him with a pensive look, slowing rubbing his hand over his face.

“Vaughny I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to and –”

Carter quickly pulled J.J. by his shirt, smashing his lips against his once more. He felt the taller man’s tension release as his hands frantically roam against his body. The pair spent their time exploring each other’s mouths,

“Is this what you really want right now?” J.J. questioned as he grabbed the hardening dick in Carter’s pants. Carter let out a small moan, nodding his head in his response.

“Good, because I want it too.”

“Fuck. We have on too many clothes.” The men clumsy stripped – throwing the articles of clothing across the hotel room. Left only in their boxers, Carter looked down, seeing the size of J.J.’s dick pulse against the black boxer briefs.

“A picture would last longer Vaughny.” J.J. chuckled before pushing him down on the bed. Before Carter could respond, a long moan escaped his lips as the wetness of his tongue glided across his neck. He quickly wrapped his arms around J.J.’s broad shoulders, bringing their bodies as close as he could. J.J started to lick and suck on Carter’s neck, applying enough pressure to send the man beneath him into a frenzy. Carter sucked in a deep breath, as J.J slowly grinded into him, their clothed dicks rubbing against each other with a euphoric amount of friction.

“I can’t cum like this.” Carter breathed out before pulling J.J. into a deep kiss. J.J. laughed into the kiss, sneaking in his tongue once more. His hands roamed down Carter’s body, admiring the firmness that being a hockey player provided, stopping at the waist of his boxers. Carter felt his body jolt forward as he felt the slightly calloused hands of the defenseman wrapped around his dick. Under the fabric of boxers, J.J.’s hands moved at an agonizing slow pace, used the slickness of Carter’s pre-cum to slide his hands up and down.

“Now, I know you’re a man of many words.” J.J. whispered deeply in Carter’s ears, as he continued to his motions. “We don’t have much time, but you need to tell me what you want. I can provide it for you.” Carter whimpered at the promise, letting his eyes roll back.

“I need you, inside of me.” Carter breathed out, before looking J.J. deeply into his brown eyes. J.J. smirked as he sped his pace around Carter’s dick.

“Positive?”

“Yes.”

“Only, yes?” J.J. chuckled as he raised his brow. Carter rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed at this game the man was playing with him. He was on the edge, he wanted to be fucked, but now he was being asked to beg. Carter never begged.

“Yes, please. Please.” He whimpered out. Carter slightly chastised himself at how desperate he sounded. But seeing the lust took over J.J.’s face, wished he would’ve begged more.

“Your wish is my command.” J.J. chuckled as he took Carter’s boxer off. He quickly leaned off the man’s body, picking up from his waist – turning him over.

“Ass up.”

Carter quickly complied as he felt the bed shifted around him. From the peripheral of his vision, he noticed J.J was now completed naked, rummaging through his duffle bag. With the same level of urgency, a sleeve of condoms and a small bottle of lube plopped next to him on the bed, as it shifted again.

“There is so much I want to do to you. You don’t even know.” J.J. mumbled as he kissed down Carter’s spine. “So, so much. Bél.” Carter’s body shivered at the response, slightly moaning from every kiss.

“Fuck.” Carter moaned out as he felt the wetness of J.J.’s tongue pressed against his asshole. His eyes closed shut, savoring the pleasure that vibrated through his body, as J.J. worked his tongue around and in his hole.

“Fucking tasty.” J.J. mumbled, as he stretched his hands out for the lube. Carter heard the cap open, but unsure what was happening behind him. Suddenly, he felt the coldness of J.J.’s fingertip, slowly pressing at his entrance.

“I’m going to have to open you up a good bit, if you really want this dick Vaughny.” J.J. chuckled a bit as he pushed through his first finger into Carter. “And I know you really want it; your body has been begging me.” Carter let out a throaty moan, both at the now added pressure, and the words that filled his ears.

“Please, just give it to me.” He whined a little, pushing himself back, hopping the finger could go deeper. J.J.’s dark chuckle sent shivers down his spine, as he felt the second finger pushed through. J.J. long fingers were now slowly opening him up, reaching down just on the cusp of his prostate, sending waves of pleasure through his body.

“Do you think you deserve more?” J.J. quickly asked. Before Carter could properly formulate an answer, he felt J.J.’s tongue back in hole, aiding in the stretching process.

“This feels so good.” Carter moaned out as he pressed his head deeper into the pillow. While this wasn’t a new experience for him, J.J.’s skilled tongue and fingers were making him feel things he never knew he could. Maybe it was that the previous women that played with his ass weren’t skilled enough. Or maybe J.J. was too skilled.

“Oh, oh, fuck.” Carter’s dick twitched below him, as a third finger was now added. He knew he was leaking on the sheets below him, as J.J. started to speed up the pace. He wished that wasn’t the case, knowing that he could stay in this position for hours, leaving J.J. make him cum over and over and over again.

J.J. quickly removed his fingers, earning a whimper from Carter at the loss of contact.  

“Patience.” J.J. chuckled before slapping his hand across Carter’s round cheeks. Carter moaned at the contact, not realizing that he enjoyed being smacked across his ass. As he basked in the sting of the hit, J.J. quickly tore open the condom packaged, rolling it on his dick, and lubing up in the process. He squeezed more on to Carter’s entrance, preparing them both for what they were yearning for.

“Let me know if it’s too much.”’ J.J. mentioned as he pressed the tip against his Carter’s opened hole. Carter nodded his head in acknowledgement as his words mushed into a string of curse words when J.J. slowly pushed himself in. The process was slow, and slightly painful, haven’t had something that big in ass before. However, as soon as J.J. bottomed out, mumbling his own curse words in a mixture of French and Creole, Carter found himself quickly adjusted to the new size inside of him, and pushed his body into J.J. more.

“Shit, you’re so fucking eager.” J.J. mumbled as he pressed his hands down into Carter’s hips. “I’m going to fuck you so good. The entire hotel is going to know my fucking name.” Carter’s eyes rolled back as J.J. stared to snap his hips into a steady rhythm. Their bodies smacked into each other, filling the room with their groans and moans.

“Mwen pa ka kwé sa.” J.J. mumbled as he pulled Carter up, deepening the angle. Carter was pulled into a kiss, messy, and full of tongue and spit, as they were filled with pleasure from each other.

“So, fucking tight. You’re so fucking good Vauhgny. Keep throwing it back like that.” J.J. moaned. Carter let his head fall forward, as he felt that his orgasm was near.

“Boiziau, please.” He moaned out.

“Please, what Vaughny.” He grunted, speeding up his pace. Carter moaned out loudly, as he felt that familiar hand around his dick.

“Please make me cum. I’m so close.” He huffed, bringing his head up into the crook of J.J.’s neck.

“Because you asked so nicely.” J.J. chuckled. Carter’s eyes rolled back once more as the pressure built up through his body exploded. His cum spurted out onto the sheets in front of him, as J.J.’s dick continued to press deeply into his prostate. As he felt he couldn’t cum anymore, the man being him let out a loud moan, emptying himself out into the condom.

Exhausted, both bodies flopped down on the bed. Their heavy breathing replaced the moans in the room. J.J. – finally regaining some strength – slowly pulled out from Carter, and flopping down next to him. The two men let the couple seconds of silence fill the room, before Carter laughed a bit.

“Well shit.” He chuckled more, wiping the sweat from his hairline, still laying down on his stomach.  “I wasn’t expecting it to be that good.” J.J. laughed, as he slowly rubbed his hand down Carter’s back.

“I’m a man of many talents.” Carter rolled his eyes at him, before slowing pushing himself off the bed.

“I’m going to be sore in places I haven’t been sore in a while.” He groaned as he stretched his limbs. He felt J.J.’s eyes roam his body, stopping at his dick. “What you said earlier again? Take a picture it last’s longer?”

“Oh, shut up.” Carter barked out a loud laugh as J.J. threw a pillow at him. “Let’s clean up.” He groaned as he also got up from the bed. The men spent the next couple of minutes, cleaning themselves from their activities with a warm rag, sneaking glances from each other, and light kisses here and there.

When Carter was fully dressed and headed towards the door, J.J. quickly pulled him back in for a deeper kiss.

“Safe journey home. Text me.” J.J. said against Carter’s lips. Carter nodded his head before kissing the man one last time, savoring an opportunity he was unsure would ever happen again.

“I enjoyed this.” Carter chuckled, looking deeply into the man in front of him. J.J. laughed as well, as he ran his hand through his curls.

“Me too.”

“Have a goodnight.”

“Bonne nuit, Carter.”

Three days.

It’s been three days since that early morning rendezvous in the New York City hotel room.

It’s been three days since Carter has been losing his mind.

Every day he found himself replaying the moments. The way J.J.’s hands felt across his body, the way he felt inside of him, the way he moaned out his name when he orgasmed. It also triggered a series of thoughts as he chased his own desires. He found himself on top of his comforter, hands around his dick, stroking slowly, wondering how it would feel with J.J.’s mouth on him, being inside of him, or just being next to him.

Jean-Jacques Bioziau - the man from Montreal - was currently holding premium real estate in his mind.

Carter was thankful that he was able to turn off the J.J. induced thoughts as he touches the ice, the coldness of the rink’s air startling into a place he known as home, a place where he can zone out and focus on the pressure of making passes, making goals and winning games. But as soon he stepped off, and the adrenaline wore off, his thoughts went back to night, what it meant, and how the hell he would move forward.

It didn’t help Carter’s dilemma that there were always in constant communication with each other. Friends, good friends. He knew that they crossed into a territory that now came with a series of unanswered questions, but that didn’t mean he had to abandon their conversations, and definitely not abandon the group chat.

It was his idea and Zane would notice if he went quiet. He had no clue how to explain to the Ottawa alternate captain that he was losing it a little bit because he and their close friend had sex. This was uncharted territory.

Being the great captain that he is, Scott noticed the spiral in Carter’s eyes. As Zane would put it, they’ve been teammates since “Jesus was little boy”, and that brought years of trust and understanding. In that understanding, they also knew who was capable of having these emotional and tense conversations. Scott Hunter knew it was not him.

This is why Carter was not pacing around his kitchen with his finger hovering over Kip’s number. Scott told him whatever advice he needed, Kip would always be a good starting point, and that’s not just because that was his husband. If anything, Carter knew Elena would somehow be wrapped in it, and soon have a city-wide crisis support team. He wasn’t sure that it needed to go that far. Carter took one more deep breath, reminding himself to not chicken out. It was a simple conversation, one where he could maybe piece his emotions together, and one where he doesn’t have to think about J.J. every time he cums.

“Ah yes, Vaughny, I was awaiting your call.” Kip chuckled a little, turning down the volume of the television in his background. “What’s up.”

Carter took in another deep breath, being thankful for the man on the other line in advance.

“I, need advice on something. Well, I did something and I need advice on how to handle with it now. I don’t know, I’m a grown ass man this shouldn’t be this hard.” Carter rambled. Kip laughed a little lighter, filled with sympathy to the issue that Carter was trying to bring forth.

“Is the something you did considered a crime? I cannot go to jail as an accomplice Vaughny.” Carter let out a snort as he rubbed his temple lightly.

“No. No crimes, just.” He took a deep sigh. “I had sex the other day and yeah…”

“Carter.” Kip said with a reassuring voice. “I don’t particularly know you to be a staunch virgin. You didn’t just have sex huh? What makes this more complicated?”

“My sexuality.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Like I’m not worried about the whole being out issue, and what the locker room thinks. I’m on a team with MHL’s Father Gay. I just, I don’t know what it means for me.”

“Well, you don’t have to know what it means for you. Maybe you just liked this one time with a man. I know you’ve been experimenting with butt stuff with the eccentric women of New York. You’re just finding your niche. Maybe fucking men is a part of that.” Kip advised. Carter sighed as he leaned against his fridge. Sure, he didn’t mind the experimenting part, he was always curious, always opened, always willing to find a way to find fun.

“Okay, but what if it’s not just that I liked having sex with a man, what if it’s that I can’t get the man out of my head?” He huffed with a dry laugh. Kip made a cooing sound on the other side of receiver, immediately realizing that this was more serious than he initially thought.

“Then you have a crush.”

“I’m a grown ass man, Kip. A crush? Please.” Carter quickly defended himself. The concept of a crush felt juvenile, felt rushed, felt too true to be real. He did not have a crush. He refused to have a crush.

“If you believe that’s the case.” Kip giggled. “What’s the thought process then, since it’s not a crush.” Carter let out a loud sigh as he caught the amusement in Kip’s voice.

“I just, I don’t know. I keep replaying the night.”

“It was good huh?” Kip laughed.

“Great, it was great.” Carter huffed again. “And I keep thinking about that, and his smile, his eyes, his hands, what is he doing today. I just want to know everything.”

“Well, if it looks like duck, and walks like a duck, and talks like duck…. well.” Kip started. Carter let out a loud groan as he threw his head back against the fridge.

“I got a fucking crush, don’t I.”

“Mhhhhm.” Kip laughed. “Look, I don’t understand all the nuances that go through figuring out being in a romantic situation as a player. I think maybe a conversation with someone else can help you figure out with what’s next. I will say, communication is important.”

“I’m terrified to know who that someone else is.” Carter laughed as he finally turned around to open the fridge, taking out a cold bottle of Gatorade.

“You should be. I’m suggesting Ilya.”

“Rozanov?!” Carter yelled as he closed the fridge door. “Definitely not. Also isn’t he painfully straight.”

“Look, it sounds ridiculous.” Kip laughed. “I know about the napkin you and Zane did. I am your side even though Scott refuses to believe it.”

“This damn napkin is going to haunt my life huh.” Carter shook his head. It was just one night of rambling based on pure speculation and pattern recognition. They would never bring it up to Shane and Ilya, but they were so certain that something is happening between them.

“Maybe, but, trust me with Ilya. He will help.”

“Explain to me, how?” Carter carefully asked. “I understand he is not terrorizing the streets of Ottawa but.”

“He helped Eric and Ryan figured out their shit in a very weird aggressive Russian way. You’re one of Shane’s closest friends, and I know he respects you. He will tease, but he will help.”

“Fine. If this doesn’t work, I’m beating your ass, smoothie boy.”

Chapter End Notes

- I took way too long to write this. But now we are out here.
- Carter is down bad. I mean, I would be too. But he is down bad bad bad bad bad.
- Thanks for all the comments so far. I truly enjoy reading them. Please leave more.
- If you want to interact with my and my unhinged thoughts, I made a stan twitter for this shit. Follow me there at @yamhead_ash

Translations
bèl - beautiful
Mwen pa ka kwé sa. - I can’t believe this.
Bonne quit - good night.

Chapter 3: Baby Steps

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration: Baby Steps - Olivia Dean

Chapter Notes

Translations at the end.

“Ah, I’ve been waiting on your call, Carter Vaughn.” The rumble of the Russian man’s voice said as he answered the phone. Carter rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh.

“Do you have to answer the phone sounding like a Russian terminator?”  Carter slouched into his couch, slightly regretting that he let Kip convince him to have this conversation. He had a good friendship with Ilya, but he knew that the man had the strong ability of being unserious all time.

“I mean, I feel it fits moment, Da?” Ilya chuckled. “Alright, I’m done, what’s on your mind Vaughny, that needs my wisdom.”

“Well… I don’t know how much Kip told you?”

“Kip only said you wanted to speak. Nothing more. He is a good friend, a good guy. I still don’t know why he is with old man Hunter, but we all can’t be perfect.” Carter let out an obnoxious snort at the shots Ilya threw at Scott. He never understood the dynamics between the two men. They got on each other nerves consistently but always found themselves around each other. If he was being honest, when Scott came out to him, he had a lingering fear that he was dating Ilya. He was never so grateful to see Kip.

“I truly appreciate him. Honestly, but yeah.” Carter sighed as he took a deep breath. He went over a million times on how we would approach this conversation without mentioning that this was another player, and that it was not J.J. He knew Ilya was close with Shane, he and Zane had a diagram on a napkin to support their theory. Didn’t mean he was ready to have such a blatant conversation about it. He just, needed to hear another perspective.

“Vaughny, I do not have all day. The people of Ottawa need to see my pretty face at this Christmas fundraising event.” Carter snorted at the Russian’s vanity but straighten himself up.

“Aight, Kip told me that you would give good advice, since you’ve helped Ryan and Eric... yeah.”

“You have a boy?” Ilya asked with amusement laced in his voice.

“I guess. I’m not sure. All I know I had really good sex, and then we’ve been texting, and then I think I’m catching feelings. This is so dumb, I’m usually so confident in this situation.” Carter rambled, finally getting the complicated feelings off his chest.

“Ahhhh. Well, Vaughny, do you have an idea on how this person might feel? Like is this – what’s the word – mutual?”

“I mean, I think so? Like I said we’ve been texting every day since it happened. It’s very flirty but also simple check-ins. I just don’t want to be living in a fantasy, and it was just a good fuck to them. You know?”  Carter sighed. He would hate if it was one time event, but would also hate it even more if he lost J.J.

“Hmm, honestly Vaughny. Talk to them.”

“I wish I could. I am stressing out about this Rozanov. This puts everything into question. Sexuality, relationships. Everything. I am the casual guy that chill with the freaky girls of New York.” Carter huffed, earning a small laugh from Ilya.

“No, Carter.” He said seriously. “You’re a guy that went the casual, whoring route post major break up. It’s like an unfortunate right of passage for the emotionally stunted.”

“I’m not emotionally stunted!” Carter slightly yelled, defending himself. Ilya let out a small hum before laughing a bit.

“I would disagree there. You’ve literally have not process that break up. You went straight into partying with the girls that touch your butt, to feel something.” Ilya chuckled. Carter let out a loud groan as the man on the line wasn’t totally incorrect. His last relationship ended on a sour note back in 2017. Scott came out, he was supper supportive, and his girlfriend at the time started questioning him and being strangely homophobic. He never unpacked those feelings; he just buried them.

“Look Vaughny, you don’t have to have everything figured out one time.” Ilya chuckled. “Trust me, I might be the king of not figuring shit out. Baby steps. Plus, if it’s good dick, it’s good dick.” Carter let out an obnoxiously loud laugh as he shook his head.

“You’re sickening Rozanov.” He said, coming down from his laugh. “I appreciate it though. Will I send that message right now? Probably not.”

“And you want to argue that you’re not emotionally stunted and avoidant. Okay Vaughn.” Ilya chuckled. “I have to go now, don’t fuck this up.”

“Aight. No promises bro. I appreciate it. Now go terrorize the streets of Ottawa.”

“Pshh, they love me.” He said before hanging up the phone. Carter let out another small laugh as he shook his head. He couldn’t believe his current train of thoughts, but Ilya was right. He would never admit that to the man, knowing it would inflate his ego to unprecedent levels. However, he needs to figure his shit out and talk to J.J. The texts were cute, the nudes were hot, but the feeling in his chest needed to be addressed. He opened the text thread between the two, seeing the last message was him reacting to a shirtless picture J.J. sent from the Montreal showers, with his uniform pants dangerously low. Carter took another deep breath as he felt a hardening in his pants. Slowly palming his dick, he quickly looked through the pictures throughout the thread.

He was going to send that message later.

J.J. found himself knocking on the door to Shane’s downtown apartment. He knew when his best friend opened the door, he was going to be met with a scowl. He was interrupting valuable time between the couple. However, J.J. needed to have this conversation with Ilya. He was putting it off for too long, and when Shane turned down to hang out with the team tonight, he knew because a certain man was in town.

“J.J., is there an emergency?” Shane immediately panicked as he saw J.J. in front of his door. J.J. let out a small chuckle, both amused and grateful for his concern.  Shane noticed the calmness in J.J.’s face, and immediately rolled his eyes as he let the man in.

“Now, why is Boiziau interrupting our time?” Ilya asked from the living room couch. “This better be a good reason.” J.J. let out an awkward laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck, toeing his shoes off at the now closed door. He saw Shane glaring at him, knowing he had to find something to make this back up to him.

“I actually wanted to talk to you Roz, I need some advice on something.” Shane scoffed at the sentence, walking towards the stairs that led to the second floor of his apartment.

“What advice can Rozanov give you, that I can’t?” Shane questioned as he threw his hands up in the air. “And why you couldn’t call him. Y’all have each other numbers.” Ilya laughed at Shane’s mini tantrum - slightly shaking his head.

“Мой котёнок, it’s alright.” He smiled. “Plus, Boiziau probably need to hear from a fellow bisexual.” Shane rolled his eyes as he let out a small huff.

“Fine. Whatever. Have your bi united conference or whatever. Just, Rozanov don’t take too long.” He said before walking up the stairs. “And Boiziau, je sais où tu habites.”

“Oui, capitaine.” The two men chuckled as they heard the bedroom door upstairs closed shut. Acknowledging that they were now both alone, J.J. plopped down into the arm chair across from Ilya.

“Alright Boiziau, let’s make this quick. I love an angry Shane as much as the next one, and it makes me hard. So...” Ilya said, making a rushing hand motion.

“Okay, I did not need to know all of that.” J.J. chuckled. “Or any of that actually.”

“You interrupted my time. I will say what I want to say.” Ilya huffed with a raised brow. J.J. put his hands up in surrender, completely understanding where the man was coming from.

“Long story, short. I think I’m catching feelings with the last hook up I had in New York. Like real real real feelings.” J.J. sighed.

“Ahh, and you’re coming to the former hoe turned housewife on how to deal with that.” Ilya laughed.

“Oui.” 

“I was going to ask if it’s with Detroit Sandra, but you said this was in New York. But she could’ve also flown out to New York. The reason I asked is because Shane really likes her, and if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that man was gay, I would be concerned.” Ilya chuckled at the end of his rant. J.J. watched the Russian man, amused by his adoration for his best friend.

“Nah. I really fuck with her though. She is good people.” J.J. smiled. “This is with a guy though. Like I’m alright just having flings with whoever, but as you may know, we all can’t be like Scott Hunter.”

“Ugh, please don’t bring up that dinosaur in my blessed home.” Ilya rolled his eyes. “But Da, I understand.” Ilya hummed, tapping his fingers against the couch for a second.

“Is this a person you think you can trust yourself with. Like you see a future. The sex wasn’t just too good?” Ilya questioned.

“It was good. So good. Some of the best I had.”

“I asked more questions than that Bioziau. We both can’t be awkwardly horny right now.” Ilya laughed. J.J. rolled his eyes as he sunk into the chair.

“Yeah, he is definitely trustworthy. We’ve been talking every day since. He makes me laugh. Blush even, and Rozanov, you know I don’t blush.”  He sighed again. “And I see a future for sure. It’s a little blurry. I’m not out to anyone but you guys. But I can see this being long term.”

“The bachelor life does get old. But I also don’t think you need to rush into being something. Just, don’t take as long as Shane and I did.” Ilya said pensively.

“Pa gen ka.” J.J. chuckled. “I am not doing eight or more years of yearning.”

“Okay, it was complicated.” Ilya argued. “You come to me for help, and now you’re disrespecting me. I can’t believe this.” J.J. let out a loud laugh at the Russian’s theatrics as he slowly got up from his seat.

“My bad. My bad.” He laughed. “But no, I think this does put it into perspective a little.”

“Talk to him Bioziau. Have a simple conversation. The last thing you need is someone asking you, ‘what are we’ in the middle of Boston after you got ramen.”

“What?” J.J. cackled as he shook his head.

“So much has happened in my life Bioziau. Be better than me. Figure your shit out now.” Ilya chuckled as he walked J.J. to the front door.

“Imagine this conference is still happening, and my boyfriend is not in my bed fucking me.” Shane’s voice echoed from upstairs. The two men watched each other with amused looks as they shuffle quickly to the door. 

“Horny Hollander scares me.” J.J. mumbled as he putted back on his sneakers.

“Horny Hollander excites me.” Ilya said with a big grin. J.J. rolled his eyes before muttering his goodbyes and quickly closing the door. As much as he loved the two of them, he did not want to hear what they were about to do. Plus, he had some fixing to do.

J.J. let out a soft groan as fell forward onto his bed. After leaving Shane’s house, he took a quick stop to his favorite Haitian spot in the city and got a quick order of bannann peze to snack on. He then took the long way home, taking in the city’s Christmas decorations and flare. Now he found himself, freshly showered, teeth brushed, finally making the hard choice. He picked up his phone from his nightstand, opening Carter’s chat.

J.J.: free to call tonight?

C.V.: I wish I was. Currently at a fundraising gala with the team.

J.J.: Boooo 🍅

C.V.: 😂, it’s for a good cause.

J.J.: and…talking to me is also a good cause.

C.V.: Loool, don’t be so full of yourself now.

J.J.: But you like when you’re full of me.

C.V.: fuck…

C.V.: yeah, but that’s not the point.

J.J.: whatever 🙄

C.V.: you get bratty when you don’t get what you want huh? What if you need someone to tame you?

J.J.: dirty talking at a fundraising gala? Naughty naughty.

J.J.: Also, I need you. You the only one to tame me.

C.V.: J.J.

J.J.: Carter.

C.V.: I know I’m not the only one lool. You don’t need to sweet talk me.

J.J. let out an annoyed groan as he read the text multiple times. He knew that Carter probably had some doubts about him. Shit, he would have doubts about him. But only the A from New York has plagued his mind for weeks. He tried to get off with his regular in the city but didn’t get far.

J.J.: I am so serious when I say this. It’s only going to be you.

J.J.: you’ve all I’ve been thinking about since that night.

J.J.: I like you. A lot. So much, it hurts.

J.J.: so yeah.

J.J. threw his phone on the bed as he saw that Carter read his messages. He took this moment to regulate his breathing. Even if Carter didn’t feel the same way about him, he took the first step. An important step. He didn’t let his feelings bubble inside. He let it out. He wished he could’ve said it on the phone, or in person. But this would do. All he could do now was breathe. Regulate his breathing. No panic calls to Shane or Ilya, they were probably on their third round. No panic calls to Hayden; he would’ve been too confused. He didn’t have time to explain everything to Zane. He should probably do that sooner than later.

J.J.’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringtone form his phone. He quickly picked up, seeing that it was Carter. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. He was at a fundraiser. He was occupied. He was calling him. J.J. snapped out of his daze and answered the phone with a mumbled greeting.

“I like you too.”

Chapter End Notes

- *in my Lebron James’ voice* Firstly, happy International Women’s Day.
- Wow men actually expressing their feelings early in the game???? Don’t worry, they will get emotionally stunted again. Trying to be realistic here.
- From Ilya’s pov, he has definitely pieced it together that the two men are talking about each other. He is now the captain of their ship and neither of them knows that.
- Shane is comfortable with both men, so he will be unhinged (I love unhinged Shane).
- The situation of asking what are we in the middle of the sidewalk happened to me. In Boston, in the streets of Alston looking for mochinut. I was never so flabbergasted. The ramen before was good, and the mochinut was better. Awkward time to try a new dessert for the first time though. I hope shawty is doing well lmaooo.
- Your honor, I love J.J. and Carter, so I will continue writing. Trying to give them depth, but please remember they are horny jocks. They will be touching their dicks at any moment.
- Anyways, as always leave your comments and check me out on the tweets at yamhead_ash.
- Byeeeeeeeee

Translations
Мой котёнок - my kitten
je sais où tu habites - I know where you live.
Pa gen ka - No shit
Bannann peze - Haitian fried plantain (green plantain fried twice)

Chapter 4: Pasyans ave'm

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration: Pasyans ave'm - Oswald

Chapter Notes

- This took way too long for me to write and then it’s longer than I originally anticipated lol. Good bit of smut in this chapter.
- Translations at the end.

January 2021

Bell Centre Arena

Montreal Voyageurs vs New York Admirals

Final: 3 – 1 MTL

J.J. smiled to himself as he and his teammates skated up to the customary post-game handshake line. He felt giddy – excited that they won the game against a tough New York team, and even more excited that he was about to spend time with Carter for the first time since they had sex at his New York City Hotel Room; for the first time since they confessed to each other on the phone that they liked each other. He knew they wouldn’t be able to get to each other immediately. It was customary for the three of them – Shane, Carter and himself – to hang out every time they played each other. However, he was slightly hoping that Shane was feeling antisocial tonight. He was being greedy. He wanted Carter to himself.

“Good game Boiziau.” Carter shook his hand with a small smile. J.J. shook his head replying quickly to the man in French.

“Merci. Bon jeu, Vaughn.”

J.J. replayed how Carter’s eyes brightened at his congratulations. In J.J.’s mind, it wasn’t anything special. He was just speaking his primary language. But it ignited something in the man he was currently obsessed with. Now, even more eager, he found himself in the locker room, using the ruckus of a win to quickly get ready to leave. As he was putting on his sweater over his button down, an exasperated Shane Hollander walked in from his media scrum.

“¿Capitaine, que pasa?” J.J. asked as he squinted his eyes at his best friend. Shane raised his brow in amusement as he shook his head slightly.

“I’m alright.” Shane chuckled. “Just exhausted from press today. Apparently, they had so many questions to ask.” Shane rolled his eyes as he went to pull his bag from his locker.

“Oh, you speak Spanish now?” Hayden laughed, barging in before J.J. could respond.

“You have to be multilingual like me to have all these life changing experiences in bed Hayd.” He shrugged, smoothing out the creases in his pants. He could already hear is mother counting every crease, wondering where she went wrong that her son is now walking around the streets of Montreal with crushed up pants.

“J.J., I am saying this with all love and respect, I do not want to be like you.” Hayden laughed. “I am a happily married man with four children.”

“And a much-needed vasectomy.” Shane added with a small huff. J.J. barked out a loud a laugh that caught the attention of the rest of the locker room. Once the other players realized that they were talking about Hayden’s great baby making skills, they joined in on the jokes, questioning on why he was planning to rival the baby making greats of Ghangis Khan or wanted to be referred to as Father Abraham. Taking advantage of the noise, J.J. quickly turned to Shane to ask about the plans for the night.

“I am beat J.J.” Shane sighed. “Really wanted to hang out with you and Vaughny, but I need peace and quiet right now.” J.J. nodded his head, as he tried to not let a smile creep up on his face. His friend and captain needed rest, and he would encourage such rest as much as possible, even if it was for selfish reasons.  

“Yes, rest is important. And maybe a call from Ottawa.” He whispered. He laughed as Shane quickly turned red, shaking his head.

“There is no peace in that.” Shane smiled as he picked up his phone. J.J. picked up his own as well, seeing that Shane apologized to Carter for skipping on tonight in the group chat. J.J. quickly opened their personal thread, suggesting that the hang out could be at his place, and sending the location just in case. He quickly received a thumbs up emoji and a ‘I’ll be there in an hour’ as a response.

“Alright, mon amis.” J.J.’s voice echoed through the locker room, quieting down his teammates. “Capitaine and I are not going out tonight. Be on your best behavior and don’t get too wild. We have an early practice tomorrow and I would hate for Capitaine make us do bag skates until our legs wiggle. Oui?” The locker room erupted into various noises as they argue about where to go tonight and not wanting to be skated to death in the morning. J.J. take this moment to put his hand around Shane’s shoulder and walking them out of the busy locker room.

As they arrived at their cars in the parking garage, J.J. gave Shane a brief hug and sent him away. As he sat in his sports car, he grinned to himself, pulling out as he sped through the Montreal streets to his apartment complex.

J.J. felt himself bouncing in excitement as he wiped down his kitchen counter for the third time since he got home. He had no idea why he was focused on that. He had zero intentions on taking Carter into the kitchen, but hearing his mother’s words motivated him to pull out the Clorox wipes once more.

Ou fè moun antre nan yon kay sal? You bringing people into a dirty house?

Shuddering down the quick disappointment, he pulled out the one candle Shane pressured him into buying and lit it. The apartment filled with the soft scent of vanilla, as he once again found himself rearranging the pillows on his couch. This wouldn’t the be first time Carter has been to his apartment. They’ve hung out many times since the formation of their group chat in 2014, but this time was different. This time Carter was coming over as someone he was romantically involved with. They were currently functioning in a grey area. They weren’t boyfriends, but they weren’t in a dumb situationship, or that’s what J.J. hoped. He was getting too old to be doing the tango in one of those.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the buzzer the system in his building. He quickly walked towards the intercom, letting Carter through the building’s security. As he closed his eyes to ground himself, there was a soft knock on his door.

“Bonjour.”

“Good night Bioziau.” Carter responded with a bright smile across his face. J.J. allowed the man to step into his apartment and watched him intensely as he toed off his shoes by the door. As soon as the thud of the duffle bag dropping on the floor echoed through the apartment, J.J. pinned Carter against the wall, pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss.

“Eager, aren’t we.” Carter chuckle lightly when they finally pulled away from each other. J.J. slowly licked his lips, pressing his body closer to Carter’s.

“I don’t think you understand half of it.” He groaned, before going back into another kiss. Their hands roamed each other bodies, tugging on the fabric that clad their skins, itching to be closer. As Carter threw J.J.’s shirt somewhere in the direction of the kitchen, J.J. chuckled, and grinded on him slowly.

“What do you want from me tonight, bèl?” J.J. whispered in Carter’s ear, before slightly nibbling it. He felt Carter’s body tremble of the touch – lips parting slowly to let out a quiet throaty moan.

“Whatever you want to do me. I just need you on me.” He whimpered out. J.J. let out a small sound of acknowledgement. Despite the aching feeling of his hard dick pressed against his sweats, he wanted to spend this moment taking care of Carter. He spent hours upon hours, thinking about how we would devour the man, and refused to leave his horniness to rush the experience. They had all night.

Another throaty moan escaped Carter’s lips as J.J.’s mouth skillfully went from his ear down to his collar bone. J.J. smiled to himself at the reaction, slowly cupping the hard-on in Carter’s jeans.

“Need me to fix that, bèl?” He mumbled into Carter’s skin. Carter hummed at the sensation, nodding his head aggressively.

“Utilise tes mots.”

“Mots?”

“Words, use them” He chuckled. Carter sucked in a deep breath as he looked down to see how the taller man was praising him.

“Yes, I need you so bad. Please, do something about it.” Carter huffed. J.J. smiled against his body before swiftly dropping to his knees. He pressed Carter’s body against the wall, nuzzling his face into the man’s crotch area.

“I’ve been dreaming about this.” He mumbled as he quickly unbuttoned Carter’s jeans, pushing them and his boxers slowly down. He hummed in satisfaction as Carter’s dick sprung up, pre-cum slightly oozing from its tip.

“J.J….” Carter moaned out. J.J. looked up at the man, blinking his eyes as innocently as he can in this his position.

“Oui, tell me.”  

“Gosh.” Carter huffed as he closed his eyes. “Please suck my dick.” A menacing grin spread across J.J.’s face as he lips wrapped around the tip of Carter’s penis. He slowly twirled his tongue around, letting the sounds that escaped Carter fuel his desires. After enough begging and pleading, he finally gave to Carter’s wishes, swallowing his entire dick. J.J. hummed as the size filled his mouth, his dick twitching as a reminder of how much he enjoys this. He moved his head up and down, creating a steady rhythm that increased the volume of Carter’s moans. As he continued praising the man with his mouth, his hands roamed Carter’s thick thighs, adding additional pressure to his sensitive spot.

“Fuck.” Carter let out as he threw his head back against the wall. J.J. chuckled, sending the vibrations through the man’s body. J.J. let his hands roamed to Carter’s ass, kneading the plump flesh slowly, before slipping his hand between his cracks. J.J.’s felt his entire body stall as he felt something cold between his cheeks.

“Merde” He huffed as he pulled off Carter’s dick. He looked up to see the man’s brown eyes filled with lust and desire. “Is that a butt plug?” Carter nodded his head, biting his lip intensely. J.J. let out a small chuckle as he leaned against his frame.

“Tu vas me tuer.” He sighed, taking in the sweet, yet musky sent of the man as he tried to calm his carnal desires. Unfortunately – or fortunately, they won as he quickly told Carter to step out of his pants and underwear, and swiftly picking up the naked leftwinger.

“J.J.” Carter chuckled as he was now thrown over the defenseman shoulders. J.J. smacked his ass in response – Carter letting out a throaty moan. J.J.’s quick strides brought them to his bedroom, where he tossed Carter on his bed.

“You have on too many clothes Boiziau.” Carter chuckled, as he perched himself up on the bed. J.J. chuckled as quickly took off his sweats, revealing he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Carter raised his eyebrow at him, giving him an amused smile.

“I can’t believe you prepped yourself for me.” J.J. mumbled as he crawled on the bed, hovering over Carter. “I wanted to take my time tonight, kiss you slowly, all over your body, but merde, you drive me crazy Carter Vaughn.” Carter let out a soft moan at his words, before pulling him into a filthy kiss. As their tongues fought for domination, J.J. snaked his hand down Carter’s body, pressing slightly on the metal that plugged his asshole.

“I want to fuck you.” J.J. groaned as they pulled away.

“Then fuck me.” Carter chuckled, looking at the dazed brown pupils in front of him. J.J. groaned again as he reached to side table for the bottle of lube and strip of condoms. He leaned off the Carter as he dropped the items on the bed. He then lifted Carter’s leg up - finally admiring the dark blue gem that shone between his legs. J.J. knew he was done for. Blue was his favorite color. He slowly grabbed the plug, toying with it slowly as he pulled out. Carter’s moans filled his ears, sending a pulsing to his dick. As the plug popped out, he took a moment to admire the opened hole. The hole that was opened and stretched for him. The hole that was ready for his aching dick.

Ignoring his desires once more, he leaned down, pressing the flat of his tongue against Carter’s asshole. He wanted to taste all parts of the man, and Carter’s heightened breathing meant that this was a right decision. He stuck his tongue into him, using his left hand to brace the man’s shaking body. He felt himself going to the rhythm of Carter’s sounds, cataloging which moments produces a higher moan, and which yields lower, ones. His cataloging was distracted as Carter’s fingers combed through his curls, bringing his face up from his admiration.

“As much as I love this, please, please fuck me.” J.J. nodded, already fuck drunk on Carter. He quickly kneeled into the bed, tearing the condom packet open. He rolled it on, lubed himself up, and pressed the aching head of his dick at Carter’s entrance.

“J.J. –” he didn’t allowed Carter to beg more as he pushed his entire length in. The men let out loud throaty moans, as J.J. slowly moved himself in and out of what he now considered the best place on earth.

“Don’t go too slow. Fuck me good please.” And fucked him good J.J. did.

February 2021

Canadian Tire Centre

Ottawa vs MTL

1 - 2 L

Up next:  Ottawa vs NY

There being a one-day gap between the Montreal and New York games in Ottawa, meant that there was a rare time when all four of the men were in the same city at the same time. Because of such phenomenon, the day after Montreal’s win against Ottawa, Zane, Shane and J.J. found themselves taking residence in Ilya’s home. The pair recently came out to Zane and Carter after Troy Barrett’s announcement during the Centaur’s pride night. This not only meant J.J. wasn’t holding the secret alone, but that they could use a spot other Zane’s own, where his wife – Cassie – was currently hosting a wine day with her fellow WAGS.

“What time Vaughny gets in again?” Shane asked as he snuggled into Ilya on the couch.

“They just landed, he said he is going to drop his bag off at the hotel and come straight over here.” Zane rattled off as he lounged in the arm chair across from them.  J.J. nodded at the information, as he continued to be sprawled out across the carpet of Ilya’s living room, throwing a small plush hockey puck in the air.  He was excited to see Carter again. After that night last month, he had to slowly convinced himself that he wasn’t falling head over heels for the man. Sure, the sex was mind blowing, sure they admitted that they liked each other, but the way that Carter had permeant residency in his brain should be studied by sociologists, psychologists and psychiatrists. It also led him to questions he never thought he would be asking before.

“Rozy, Bood, have y’all ever been pegged or topped before?” He asked, breaking the comfortable quiet that lingered amongst them. Ilya, the first to joke about anything, let out a loud laugh as Zane scratched the back of his neck.

“Now, before we even get to answering that question, how we reach here?” Zane asked, slightly chuckling.

“Good question. And why you didn’t ask me?” Shane pipped in. The other three men in the room paused their laughing, to all squint their eyes at Shane.

“Moya Lyubov, and why would he ask that?” Ilya chuckled as he nuzzled his face into Shane’s neck.

“Love you with all my heart, but you’re capitaine bottom.” J.J. chuckled as he continued to throw the plushy up in the air.

“Captain bottom, he’s our hero.” Zane sung to the tune of Captain Planet’s theme song. Shane let out a small gasp as the room erupted into laughter. He took one of the couch pillows and hit Ilya.

“I thought this supposed to be a safe space.” He huffed despite the amusement in his voice. “Also, what do you know about Captain Planet, Mr. Russia?”

“Ahh yes, it would’ve been American propaganda to keep the environment safe, so against our filthy Russian oil.” Ilya sarcastically said as he pressed his body more against Shane.

“Whatever.” Shane chuckled. “I am curious to hear y’all answers though.”

“Yeah nah, I don’t venture too much into the butt stuff, big man. I leave da for allyuh.” Zane chuckled as his Trinidadian accent came out heavier. J.J. rolled his eyes with a laugh. He didn’t even know why he asked Zane, knowing that he was the poster child for heterosexual, despite being best friends with half of the queer people in the league. He turned his head towards Ilya who was chuckling to himself.

“A little tongue, a finger if adventurous but that’s all.” Ilya shrugged. “But even if I wanted to, I couldn’t get that done with this guy. If I remembered correctly, he told his ex-girlfriend Rose Landry that he prefers to be the hole than the peg, so.”

“Ughhhh, I hate you. Why would you bring that up.” Shane complained, as the others laughed at the infamous coming out conversation between him and Rose. J.J. knew that Ilya gave him shit about that, especially trying to have sex with women, knowing nothing did it for him besides men, and especially Ilya. So, seeing Shane getting flustered about the situation provided him with enough entertainment.

“Okay, why are you asking this question J.J.?” Shane quickly pivoted. J.J. shrugged as he started to throw the plushie in the air again.

“Just wondering.”

“That’s not a just wondering question Boiziau.” Zane insisted. J.J. sighed as he looked at Ilya’s ceiling.

“Don’t get me wrong, sex is great. Like my sex life is wonderful. Love being inside other people. I was just thinking about you know, being taken cared of sometimes. At least from that perspective.”

“That’s sweet and all, but you’re not just going to bend over and take dick for the first time just like that?” Ilya asked with a pensive look. “I don’t know, you don’t particularly look like you’re the type to deal with the smaller size.”

“Are you calling me a size queen Rozanov?” J.J. gasped as he now sat up from the floor.

“All I’m saying is.” Ilya paused as he looked between J.J. and Shane. “Something about flocking birds being near each other.” Zane snorted as both J.J. and Shane threw pillows at the Russian man. As they continued their assault, Zane got up to open the door for Carter, after reading the text that he had arrived.  

“So, you’re saying, Roz accused them of being size queens?” Carter chuckled after being quickly brought up to speed about the commotion. He plopped himself on the other of the couch, watching the men in amusement.

“It’s not an accusation. It’s the truth.” Ilya shrugged. Shane hit him one more time with the pillow as the group laughed.

“I am being accused. I don’t know about Shane Hollander.” J.J. added before turning to face Carter. He noticed that the look of amusement shifted to something else. He squinted his eyes, trying to regulate his breath before doing something drastic in front of his friends. “You think, I’m a size queen, don’t you Vaughny?”

Carter let out a loud laugh in response, before winking at him. Frustrated and now horny, J.J. grabbed the plushie and laid back down on the carpet.

“Anyways, let’s talk about how we beat the Centaurs last night.”

“It’s only because you have Hollander.” Both Zane and Ilya accused.

Carter found himself on his knees in the middle of the hotel room, gagging on J.J.’s dick. It became a feeling he was enamored with, something that fueled his wet dreams and masturbation sessions. What wasn’t apart of his wild imagination was when J.J. pulled him off his dick, spit dribbling down his face, asking him to do things differently tonight.

“Bèl, I want you in me tonight.”

Carter shivered at the thought. In their agreement, he was always the one bottoming. He thought that it was a silent agreement that they assigned themselves roles. So, when he found himself pushing J.J.’s long legs back towards his head – amazed at the big man’s flexibility, he was certain it was just a dream.

“I’m going to go slow, okay.” He kissed J.J., as he pulled the fingers that were opening him up slowly.

“I’ve fucked myself before bèl, take it however you want it.” His deep voice rumbled after they pulled away. Carter groaned, dick throbbing, ready to cross into a new pasture. He quickly sheathed himself and lubed himself up. As he pushed in, he felt his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

“You feel so fucking good.” He groaned, pushing in deeper. J.J.’s moans became hallowed, as he quickly wrapped his long legs around’s Carter’s frame. As he felt that J.J. was now adjusted to the new intrusion, he slowly moved his hips, ensuring that he hit the nerves of J.J.’s prostate over and over again. The sight below him was beautiful. J.J. was a mumbling mess, moaning his name, asking him for more. He was always taught that giving was important, so he gave.

The sounds of their bodies quickly filled the room, as Carter found himself in a steady rhythm, noticing that J.J. was on edge, he instructed the man to grab his aching dick, and stroke himself to the same pace. In minutes, J.J.’s body was arching off the bed, as white roped shot out of his dick. Seeing this sent Carter over the edge, cumming loudly into the condom. As he finally caught himself, he slowly pulled out, flopping on the bed next to J.J.

“Merde. I needed that.” J.J. chuckled before pulling Carter into a deep kiss. As they slowly pulled a part, Carter looked down at the mess on J.J.’s chest, as the white substance covered his tattooed body.

“Let me clean that up and take care of you.” He said, kissing his lips one more time.

March 2021

Freaking out was too simple of a description to describe what Carter was going through right now. He was going through his regular morning routine before his phone started to blow up. Group chats with players from across the league, persons he hasn’t spoken to from his hometown in years, and even the neighborhood group chat were all active, talking about the same thing.

Video of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov kissing the background of a fan mail sent from Hayden Pike.

He was furious. At whom? He was certainly furious at whoever that Brad guy was. He was conflicted when it came to Pike. Why didn’t he check the video before sending? Why did it felt to careless, especially knowing how Shane wasn’t ready to be out yet. He was also furious at the internet. At people perceiving his friends. Questioning their work ethics. Questioning their fucking Stanley cups. He was furious at those who made started threads about keeping this ‘woke’ nonsense of the league, and how Scott was enough, or how it was his fault.

Of course they found a way to rope Hunter into this. They always did.

But Carter was also scared. Scared at what the league would’ve done. Scared of how the teams would react. He was less worried about the Centaurs than he was about the Voyageurs. He knew that if there were stragglers in Ottawa, Zane Boodram would single handedly deal with them himself. In Montreal, based on the little J.J. has told them on how the locker room shifted when Shane came out to them a couple years ago, he wasn’t too sure about that response. He was scared.

And in a moment of selfishness, he was also terrified for himself, and J.J. It was obviously the reaction to two MHL players being together was not a positive one. It brought in a strong fear, which he quickly deemed rational if the same was to happen to J.J. and him. Of course, the story wouldn’t be as high profile. They were not Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. However, they weren’t scrubs either. They were Olympians, All-stars and cup winners. They were in the same conference. Sure, they had the privilege of being friends – publicly at that – it still didn’t seem too acceptable for them to be fucking, and for Carter to be falling dangerously in love.

Shit, this is not what he meant that one time when he said he felt like Beyonce.

His spiral was briefly paused when his phone rang. He didn’t realize that it was now the following day, having moved around in a zombie state. He knew he sent supportive texts to both Shane and Ilya. He knew he spoke to the rest of the guys in the chat, spoke to some Admirals and Kip. He knew he liked tweets that called Crowell a bitch for sending orders to bench them both. He just didn’t realize so much time passed. He quickly answered seeing that it was J.J. However, the spiral immediately resumed as J.J. explained the current situation. Between the locker room and the team office, he had no idea who he wanted to fight first. It was unfair. His friends did not deserve to be treated as such. Sure, they were famous athletes and alleged rivals, but they were also two men who fell in love.

Made him terrified again to fall in love.

“You know this is terrifying J.J.” Carter finally said, as he played with a loose thread on his t-shirt. J.J. let out a humorous laugh, one filled with exhaustion and all the other emotions that plagued his mine.

“I know. It’s just.” J.J. paused. “They don’t deserve this shit from no one. I yelled at Hayden. I’ve never yelled at him outside of hockey. He feels like shit, but fuck.”

“The league isn’t ready. It’s not ready for people like Hollzy and Roz.” Carter sighed once more, as he felt the tears in his eyes.

“I feel like you’re trying to say something else as well, bèl.” J.J. added. Carter took a deep breath, unsure where the words he was about to mutter would lead them.  

“They aren’t ready for us J.J.”

“And that’s their problem. Not ours.”

“But.”

“But nothing Carter. If this bullshit isn’t going to stop those two men from loving each other, why should it stop me from liking you. From being so damn obsessed with you, that it actually pains me sometimes. This isn’t a fear you need to materialize.” Carter swallowed as he felt tears slowly trickle down his face. J.J. was right, while he was allowed to be scared, it shouldn’t stop them. It shouldn’t stop him.

“You’re right.” He choked out, nodding his head despite J.J. not being able to see him. He heard a soft sigh on the other of the receiver, knowing that this has taken a serious toll on the man.

“I’m going to check on Shane, and then I’ll face time you later. Okay?” J.J. finally spoke.

“Okay. Send my greetings and be good.”

“Always.”

April 2021

Madison Square Garden  

Montreal @ NY

2-1 W

The regular season was winding down, and the playoff brackets were already set. So, when Carter found himself tangled between his sheets with J.J. the lost he experienced earlier was now a distant memory. Playing against Montreal was always hell anyways. It didn’t matter though. The two men enjoyed the fact that the game was an afternoon game and spent the evening exploring each other bodies. They went multiple times, with J.J. triumphantly fucking Carter into the crease of his mattress, to then praising his body. Then Carter returning the favor, giving a live demonstration on why backshot were now J.J.’s favorite position to be in. Now, with the sun set, and the buzzling live of Manhattan’s night live around them, they were slowly kissing, giggling and talking to each other.

“I can’t believe we’ve been at this for a couple months now.” J.J. chuckled as he traced a random image on Carter’s chest.

“It feels unreal yeah. Who would’ve thought.” Carter chuckled, taking in the moment. He turned his head slightly and saw a look of admiration and worship in J.J.’s eyes. He also knew that meant he was going to start speaking. And as much as he loved the deepness and raspiness of J.J.’s voice and his Quebecois accent, he knew that if the man started to speak, they were about to cross a threshold that he wasn’t sure he was ready for.

“Let me, show you again on how unreal it is.” Carter mumbled as he reached down and wrapped his hand around his dick.

Chapter End Notes

- Whew, this was emotional to write. It’s been a long week but here we are.
- I am curious to know how you feel about Carter’s fears. Is he being irrational?
- One thing about me, ima sneak in a lovey dovey hollanov scene into something.
- I also spent so long cross referencing a real NHL schedule, and then realized that the 2020-2021 season was a covid year which does not exist in the GCU (blessings) so this is based off the 2021-2022 schedule. I spent way too long on that but aye lol.
- Looking forward to your comments, and thoughts, and feels. Kay bye.

Translations
Merci, bon jeu - thank you, good game.
¿Que pasa? - what’s up
Mon Amis - my friends
bèl - handsome
Utilise yes mots - use your words
Merde - fuck
Tu vas me tuer - “You’re going to kill me

Chapter 5: I Don't Care

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration: I Don't Care - Michel Martelly

Chapter Notes

- Tw/cw for homophobic slurs.
- Tags have been updated to reflect such.
- Longer pieces of dialogue that are italics are in Haitian Creole.
- Translations at the end.

Eastern Conference Playoffs – Round 1

Game 7

MTL vs OTT

Final: 2-3 (OT)

Ottawa advances to the second round. 

J.J. found himself in the hallway in front of Montreal’s locker, pressing his head against the cool brick wall. He was standing next to a visibly frustrated Hayden, who leaned against the same wall with his head thrown back. They were waiting for Shane, who they knew was dealing with an unforgiving media scrum, particularly questioning the final play of the game.

Shane Hollander tripped.
Ilya Rozanov scored.

The Ottawa Centaurs made it to the second round of the playoffs for the first time in their franchise history.

The reigning champions have been eliminated.

Despite the current realities, J.J. was not afraid that Shane couldn’t handle the intensity of the media. He has seen his best friend tackle them for years – both as the poster child of the league, and through the obvious smear campaign from the commissioner’s office. No, J.J.’s worries lied within their own locker room. A blind mice could see that their locker room has been fractured. The cracks were always present. Folks saw Shane as a threat to their stardom, to their salaries, to their egos. Then Shane came out to them, and they finally found a reason to start picking at the cracks.

The fan mail leak was the final nail to the shaky coffin.

The cracks broke open. Members of the team refused to listen to Shane. Refused to listen to Hayden. Refused to listen to him. Because if one friend of the group was a cocksucker, then they all were cocksuckers.  Coaching staff provided no help. Successfully icing out their locker room leadership, just to prove a point. J.J. was at the point where he didn’t care what the locker room or team leadership thought about him. They could try all they want to ice him out, threaten him. He knew he was able to capitalize on the racist tropes he knew his teammates clung to. Do not provoke the big angry black man.  His worried lied with the man that was currently walking up to them with heavy eyes and dropped shoulders. Ilya made him promise to look out for him in the locker room. He didn’t need that promise to act upon it. Because whatever was about to happen in there, no one was about to lay their hands on Shane Hollander.

“You guys ready?” J.J. and Hayden both nodded their heads at their captain before pushing themselves off the way. J.J. led the way, pushing the door to the locker room open. The buzzing of disappointment and anger went to a complete silence as the three men walked in. J.J. felt the eyes sneered at Shane as he walked up to the locker room. He didn’t know which felt worse, the potential of them attacking Shane, or the sharpness of the silence.

J.J. quickly got his answer as a voice from the other side of the locker echoed through the locker room.

“So not only you’re a little faggot. You had to throw away the game for your scummy Russian cocksucker. Good job Hollander.”

Comeau. It was always fucking Comeau.

He quickly turned to Shane, who was facing his locker, taking deep breaths.  J.J. knew that the situation was already fucked, but when another voice chimed, and muttering of agreements flung through the locker room, he knew that he was right over the edge.

“Assez!” He yelled as he banged his fist against the locker room. The voices soften a little bit, but shocked filled through the room quickly. “I said, fucking enough!”

The locker room finally fell silent. J.J. took in a couple deep breaths before turning to Hayden to make sure that Shane was not having a panic attack. Once that was communicated, he turned to the room who was watching him with a mixture of disgust, shock and fear.

“I need you guys to understand this and understand this quickly. We fucking lost.” J.J. huffed as he straightened his posture. “And instead of sitting here, as a team trying to figure out where we as a team went wrong, you are accusing the one man that shows up day in and day out for your fucking asses of throwing away the game. So, fucking what, he tripped. But there were defensive and offensive lapses all fucking game. He was the only one who scored. We have been playing like shit.”

“Yeah, but it is still his fault…” Drapeau chimed in. J.J. quickly turned his head to face his fellow defense man with a scowl.

“How?! Explain to me in English! Explique-moi en français. Comment?!” J.J. shouted at him.

“It’s…” Drapeau stumbled. “L’homosexual. C’est de sa faute. Il nous a rendus méchants.” J.J. let out a loud humourless laugh, as he walked towards the man.

“Made us bad… comment?”

“The gay shit!”

“The gay shit? Did Shane Hollander personally grab your face and said, hey suck this dick?” J.J. sneered as he squinted his eyes at the man in front of him. He was about to grab him from his undershirt when the familiar voice cut through his anger.

“Boiziau!” Shane’s voice echoed through the locker room. “It’s not worth it.” J.J. took a deep breath as he stepped away from the man, not hiding the look of disgust that was plastered across his face. He was quickly snapped back into reality as Shane’s voice now echoed through the locker room.

“Yes, I fucking tripped. But if you think, that out of all the blood, sweat and tears that I’ve put into this team, that I would purposefully lose a fucking game, then you’re wrong.” Shane paused as he briefly looked at Hayden and J.J. “If I was a person who would throw away a game for someone that I’m with, for someone that I love, then you would never be able to say that you have three cups.”

“Wait… what are you saying Hollander?” The goalie, Mitty pipped up. J.J. closed his eyes quickly as he tried to not let his anger explode.

“I am saying that I’ve been with Ilya for every single one of those cups. Didn’t see me throwing away a game for no fucking Boston Bears.” Shane huffed, picking up his bag, not bothering to change out of his clothes. “Now excuse me, I’ll be going to talk to someone who actually gives a fuck about me, and not whatever this is.” This room returned to the eerily silence as he stormed out with Hayden trailing behind of him. J.J. saw the blond curls, pulling Shane into a hug just as the door closed. Once shut, the room erupted into noise once more, different players expressing their disbelief, mumbling more homophobic slurs, or just sitting in pure shock.

With the anger bubbling through his body once more, J.J. quickly put his stuff in his bag before taking another deep breath. Unfortunately for the rest of the locker room, he heard Comeau and Drapeau once again, stating they should’ve hurt Shane more in practice.

“Merde!” J.J.’s voice echoed through the room. The room went still as the blood through his veins went hot. In a minute, the team watched him with fear and confusion as a string of words left his mouth. He had no time to translate or switch languages. He didn’t care. They wanted unadulterated anger from him, and that’s what they got.

“You have no fucking business of being upset. You are all useless fuckers. Every. Single. One. Of. You. Three cups! He has given us three fucking cups, and you’re upset over a trip? You bitches do nothing but bitch and moan and bitch and moan and bitch and moan. You suck at practice. You suck during the games. But now it’s Shane Hollander throwing away games. You are dumb bitches. Good for nothing motherfuckers that deserve nothing good in this fucking life. I hope you all fucking rot.”

 When he final caught himself. He realized he curse them all out in creole. The words sitting heavy on his tongue, he stepped out of the room, making sure the locker room door slammed shut.

He was tired.

He was over their shit.

He didn’t care anymore.

A week later, J.J. still felt weird. After his blow up in the locker room, he went home, took a shower and poured himself a glass of Barbancourt. He spent the night replaying the game, everything that went wrong. And the trip. He knew it wasn’t on purpose, but he couldn’t help himself feeling defeated that it happened. Because he knew it meant one thing, it was about the change the trajectory of all their careers moving forward. In the middle of his thought process, he got a call from his mother. He spent another 45 minutes explaining the loss and what all went wrong. At the end, his mother ended the call with her benediction.

Se pou benediksyon Seyè Jezikri ban nou an, ak renmen Bondye gen pou nou an, ansanm ak pouvwa Sentespri k'ap fè nou viv ansanm lan toujou la ak nou tout. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all.

“I’m praying for the team, you and Shane Hollander.”

Since then, he felt that he was navigating in a weird space. He made sure to check in with Shane one last time before he went up to Ottawa. He visited Hayden and checked in with Jackie and the children. He went home for a day, indulging in some of his mother’s cooking, and avoiding all the pressing questions from his aunties and older siblings about finding a wife. He spent his time downtown, checking in on the bars and restaurants of his fellow Haitian and other Caribbean friends he made throughout the years. He was going through his regular post season routine, but it felt empty.

It was on the third day that he realized.

Carter has not messaged him since the game.

Of course, the group chat continued, especially since the Admirals and the Centaurs were currently battling in the second round. Shane pipping in with his critique of the games for both ends, and series of chirps between Zane and Carter. But Carter Vaughn has not personally messaged J.J.

It bothered J.J. more than he wanted it to. It wouldn’t be his first time a fling has left him on read and decided to move on. Shit, J.J. has done that many times. This time felt different. This time was different. Both men confessed their feelings for each other. Both men invested time in getting to know each other. Exploring their bodies, minds and soul. So, this silence felt like a slap to the face.  

It also made him irrationally angry. 

However, if Carter wasn’t going to speak to him anymore – that was his loss. J.J. always knew to be the one to bounce back. He did what he always did, went on a prowl. Spent time chatting up a beautiful woman at the bar. Her eyes glistening with lust, and her curls bouncing in a way that enticed him. She brought him back to her hotel room – as she explained to him that she was visiting from Vancouver. He performed, giving her head that had her voice strained by the time she orgasmed. But that was it, when it was time to pull his dick out, and give her what he proclaimed ‘the best fuck of her life’ – he paused. Her brown eyes started to remind him of Carter. Her smile started to mimic his. He closed his eyes shut before quickly apologizing to her. He couldn’t do it, because even as he told himself that it didn’t matter that Carter wasn’t speaking to him anymore, the man still plagued his daily life. Finding himself back on the streets of Montreal, he looked down on his phone to see that Carter and Zane were currently in the group going back and forth about their game tomorrow. His message to Carter continued to sit there, Read: 9:54pm.

Fuck it.

He didn’t care.

Chapter End Notes

- Well, that took a turn.
- This was strangely very emotional for me to write and I think it’s because I got a lot shit going on fr fr lol.
- Wrote this work again tehehe lol.
- The religious elements in reference to his mother is very important to understand the nature of their relationship and give an understanding on how J.J. views the world. In the books, you can see how those forms of socialization impacted how Ilya and Shane both seen their queerness. Ilya, while does not view himself as particularly religious, understands the nature and heaviness of the Orthodox Church and its practices, combined with the political and societal implications of queerness in Russia. Shane on the other hand deals with the combination of “not being enough” for both his white and Asian identities the tokenism of being the golden boy and model minority of the league while still navigating the harsh realities that western patriarchy presents for queer folks. I feel for J.J. the combination of both, while balancing the violence that’s inherently placed on him as being a Black man, the religious pressures of his youth, and everything that hockey presents itself with (patriarchy, racism etc.). Add that the person you’re slowly falling in love with is now ignoring you, and now we have created an emotional nightmare. I believe that what made me want to explore J.J. (and Carter, don’t worry we get in his head again next chapter) in a deeper level and do an intense character study. It’s easy to dismiss him as a bad person, or even homophobic based on his reaction to Shane and Ilya, especially after the trip. But with key moments such as the apology and reconciliation happening off screen in the book, it doesn’t give him any nuance. Anyways, this was a long rant just now lmao.
- The benediction is based off of 2 Corinthians 13:14 and it’s a similar version to what I grew up saying in church (in English ofc lol)
- Differently and I’m just writing this because it’s bothering me, my office has plants in it because idk, my boss (who is on sick leave) talks about plants giving his life blah blah, and now e have a friggen fruit fly problem and I am about to scream.
- Aight, until next time. Check me on the tweets at yam_headash, and make sure to subscribe to the series because I have like four more fics lined up lmao.

Translations
Explique-moi en français. - explain to me in french
Comment - how
L’homosexual. C’est de sa faute. Il nous a rendus méchants - The homosexual. It’s his fault. He made us bad.

Chapter 6: Fire

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration: Fire - Patrick Grayham

Chapter Notes

Translations at the end.

June 2021

New York City, New York.

Carter pressed play on what he knew the city, an entire region and maybe 80% of the world would describe as one of the best mixes known to man. DJ Private Ryan’s 2015 Carnival Starter Mix echoed through his apartment from his surround sound system, as Kip stood in his kitchen making a quick charcuterie board. Kip – who became one of his favorite people in the entire world – demanded a boy’s day. His reasoning?

“Carter, you usually spend your off season exploring the streets of New York. You’ve been to one party, and that was a team mandated event. What the hell is going on?”

And to Carter’s defense, he really couldn’t pinpoint what was really going on. So, he was grateful for the distraction and for the presence of his friend. He swayed his hips to Kes’ Fallin, singing about the feeling he cannot control as he found himself back into the kitchen. Kip looked up with an amused look, before going back to placing the various cured meats.

“I am thankful every day for being from Brooklyn, so I can understand what is being played right now.” Kip chuckled as he opened another pack. Carter nodded his head in agreement, thankful for the various cultures and experiences he was able to learn about when he was drafted to the Admirals. Carter always considered himself as a sort of anthropologist. He was always interested in the people he was around and their stories. As a part of a military family, he found himself learning about all types of people. From the Floridian costal life in Panama City, Florida, to creole customs and practices from their time in Bossier City, Louisiana,  to the complexities of the midwestern identity in Wichita, Kansas, to the one year of immersing in Japanese culture and customs, and of course to the place that he now calls home – to the life of the ranchers, and farmers in Minot, North Dakota.

“Phone.” Kip pointed out, snapping Carter out of his daze. As he looked down on the ringing phone, he chuckled to himself at the caller ID.

“Yesssi! Vaughny, wa you saying?” The boisterous voice of Zane Boodram echoed through the speaker phone.

“I’m alright Bood. Also, you’re on speaker and Kip is here.” Carter answer as Kip watched him with an amused look.

“Even better. What’s good Kip?” Zane asked.

“I’m doing alright, just prepping this charcuterie board with Carter.” Kip earnestly answered. Zane let out a small whistle as Carter can feel the man on the other side of the line thinking.

“Well, well. I’m about ten minutes from Carter’s place. Do you guys mind me crashing the party?”

“Of course not.” Carter added. “Mi casa es tu casa.”

“Awesome! I’ll be there shortly, and maybe with some rum. Or two bottles. I don’t know.” Zane added before quickly hanging up. Kip chuckled as he opened Carter’s fridge and pulled out another three packs of cured meats.

“I am always prepared for extra guests.” Kip smiled at Carter’s questioning look. Carter shrugged as he sat on the bar stool across from his friend, swiveling in his seat.

“Also, I am glad that Zane is showing up, so we can both discuss what the hell has been wrong with you.” Kip squinted as he pointed the piece of prosciutto at him.

“There is nothing wrong with me Kip. You’re overreacting.” Carter rolled his eyes as he continued his swiveling. Kip paused in his arrangement as he raised his brow at his friend. It was a look that could be compared to one of a mother that is scolding her children. It terrified him all the time.

“Carter Elijah Vaughn!”

“Christopher Grady!”

“You know you cannot lie to me. Something is wrong, and if it takes me, Zane Boodram, salty meats, and whatever alcohol he walks in with to get you to admit that something is wrong, so be it.” Kip said with a shrug.

“Ha. Salty meats.” Carter snorted. Kip took a piece of paper towel that was on the counter and threw it at him.

“Oh my gosh, you are such a jock!” Kip complained as he shook his head.

“You love jocks!” Carter laughed as he balled up the paper towel and threw it back.

“Such an unfortunate reality I live in.” Kip sighed. They pair went silent, enjoying the mix playing in the background, until Carter got a message that Zane arrived. Soon enough, Kip was greeted to Carter and Zane walking back into the apartment – with Zane holding a large shopping back.

“The illustrious Kip Grady, how are you doing?” Zane greeted Kip with a hug.

“Good as I can be.” Kip chuckled, leaning against the kitchen counter. “What brings you to New York?”

“Ahh, it was a last-minute decision. Brought Cassie and Milo to visit some family. Then Cassie got taken away by my cousins, and my aunties hijacked Milo, so I’m like hey, let me find Carter.” Zane shrugged, putting the shopping bag on the table.

“I didn’t know you have family in New York?” Carter questioned as he went back to sit back on the stool. Zane paused in unpacking the shopping bag to squint his eyes at Carter.

“Dawg, I am Trini. Of course I have family in New York. What are you talking about?” Zane chuckled. Carter shrugged at him as Kip nodded in agreement.

“I am certain you know like Flatbush might as well be the Caribbean right?” Kip added on. Carter quickly thought about the times he found himself in Flatbush, Brooklyn. From when he was first drafted, to now. Thinking about the rapid gentrification but acknowledging that was the first place he heard Soca, and the first time someone gave him saltfish. Yeah, it made sense that Zane had family in New York.

“My bad. My bad.” He chuckled. Zane shook his head and went back into the shopping bag.

“My auntie sent me with a container of mango chow and a container with some doubles.” Carter and Kip looked with wide eyes as the two big containers plopped onto the counter.  “And I am not a lawless person of course I brought a nice, chilled bottle of Puncheon.”

“Oh no.” Carter cackled.

“We are going to be on our ass today.” Kip shook his head. Zane hummed as he turned to the kitchen cabinets where he knew the shot glasses were. He took out three of the fanciest ones Carter owned (which were Cozumel branded ones from the last Mexico trip he took) and cracked open the bottle. Pouring the three shots, he placed one in front of the men, before taking one in his own hands.

“To figuring out what the fuck is wrong with Carter!”

“Hey –”

To figuring out what the fuck is wrong with Carter!” Kip yelled back as the two men threw their shot back. Carter rolled his eyes and took his – quickly coughing at the burn that the rum ignited in his chest.

“Fuck.”

“That means, it’s good.” Zane chuckled.

“Also, nothing is wrong with me.” Carter huffed. Zane and Kip both watched with each other with amused looks before turning back to Carter. They were plotting on his demise, and as much as he told himself he wouldn’t break, he knew by the time the sun set, he would be a blabbering mess.

“Let’s get some food on our plates, and some drinks in our system, yes?” Kip said as he clapped his hands.

An hour later, the three men found themselves laying across Carter’s living room furniture, full on food, and nursing their third or fourth or fifth drink. Carter loss count. Knowing that he was thoroughly inhibited, he felt the questioning led by Kip right on the tip of his tongue.

“What’s happening Carter? Why aren’t you calling me from SoHo asking me if it’s okay to do shots off the bartender’s boobs?” Kip asked with a concerned look. Carter let out a small laugh as he shook his head. He really used to be running the streets of New York doing anything.

“Or calling me asking if this artist would be good, because you want to go to a fete?” Zane added, with the same level of concerned. Carter sighed as he slightly sat up, letting the dizziness of the alcohol hold him for a bit.

“And why is J.J. moping around every time I see him?” Zane added. Carter froze as he quickly looked between the men he considered some of his closet and dearest friends. He had no idea how to process this conversation, and whatever he was about to say was not about to guarded by the already limited filter he had.

“Fuck.” Carter groaned. “Okay, fucking fine.” He needed to figure out how to say this without saying that he really, really, really likes J.J. That he is hurting himself by not talking to him every day, that how the league treated Ilya and Shane made him retreat immediately.

“Hollzy’s and Roz’s outing kinda fucked me up.” He huffed. “It’s just, I don’t know, I saw how Scott was able to navigate this gay shit. Like yeah there is still some negative press, but that legitimately outweighs the fact that everyone loves Kip. I don’t know man. I just hate it.”

“You’re scared.” Zane added as he nodding his head.

“Of fucking course, I am scared. Look man. Kip, love you and Scott, but this shit gets tricky when you’re literally non-white. You know how many people already think that me and –” Carter huffed again. Kip and Zane glanced at each other quickly before turning back to Carter. “Think that me, Bood, Hollzy and Boiziau don’t belong in this fucking league. How we taint this shit for them. Their perfect white haven of a sport? Throw in some gay shit with that, imagine what the fuck that would be like?” He slouched back down, frustrated with all the words he just said. He was supposed to keep it in, bottle it up and go back to being the joyful and fun Carter that everyone knew. Carter wasn’t supposed to have real fears; he wasn’t supposed to freak out. He supposed to shake it off and move on. He was so deep in his thought, he didn’t realize that Zane moved to hug him, until he felt the heavy weight of a fellow winger pressed on him. The tears he kept in, slowly creaked out. Kip joined them awkwardly from the other side. It was now three drunk men in a large awkward bear hug – crying.

He was tired.

He needed this.  

After what felt like an eternity, the trio untangled themselves, slouching back into their respective seats. Zane – who wiped away any lingering tears – cleared his throat as he took a sip from his glass.

“I have a feeling that J.J. might be feeling the same way. He needs one of his best friends Vaughny. Talk to him.”

A week later, Carter found himself walking around The Lake in Central Park, taking in the sights of various people that enjoyed the nature during a particular hot summer day. While he felt better after what he considered one of the most emotionally exhaustive days of his life, he still knew he had to make a concerted effort to get out, move and get out of his head. Today’s activity was quiet. The walk allowed him to people watch, maybe interact with fans that recognized him, and be somewhat grateful for the green space in the middle of the concrete jungle (though sometime during the season Zane went on a long rant about the history on how Central Park was made and it changed his view on the park for the worse). 

As soon he was finished taking a picture with two young fans, he felt the phone in his pocket vibrate. Quickly finding shade under the tree, he answered the phone.

“Colonel.”

“Son, how are you doing this afternoon?” His father’s voice sounded through the receiver.

“I’m doing alright. And yourself? How are things on base?” He quickly answered.

“Good. It’s going well. Business as usual.” His father’s voice huffed. He knew that this wasn’t just a random check up call. His father – Colonel Patrick E. Vaughn – was Deputy Commander of the 91^st Missile Wing at Minot Air Force.  While Carter didn’t particularly enjoy the implications of such position, he has always had the utmost respect for his father, even if the conversations between them sounded more like Commander to solider than like father to son.

“That’s good. What you’re calling about?” Carter asked, deciding to break the ice early on.

“You know, your mother just got back from her girls’ trip in Los Angeles, and I she told me she ran into your teammate, Hunter.” His father stated as there was slight strain in his usual monotone voice.

“Ah yes, she sent me pictures from the trip. Including the selfie with him. It looked fun.”

“Yes, she had great reviews about the experience. However, it was noted that Hunter mentioned you weren’t acting much like yourself. While I am told that means you weren’t out partying and having fun – something I have personally told you to scale down on tremendously – “”

“Colonel…”

“Son. Let me finish.” Carter huffed. He was a grown adult and was ensure on why he was allowing himself to be lectured through the phone by his father. But as always, he let his father continue.

“So, yes. While this would be particularly positive news to me, it has been presented as a worry amongst your circles. Son, you only retreat when you’re avoiding something. I did not raise a son that was avoidant and afraid of conflict.” Carter snorted lightly at that comment. If it’s one thing the military taught him, was how to be avoidant. “Now, I do not want, nor care to be in your business, but if the concern is large enough that it’s mentioned to your mother by Scott Hunter in the middle of her trip, I implore that you address the matter now. Understood.”

“Yes sir.”

“Alright. Make sure to call your mother this evening. I will be on base.” His father said before hanging up the phone. Carter let out a deep breath, shoving the phone back in his pocket. As much as the conversation provided no clarity, was borderline condescending, his father had a point. This matter needed to be addressed.

Three days later after some support from Kip, Carter finally found himself opening the chat he has been avoiding.

Carter: I want to apologize for not responding to any of your texts. That was rude and disrespectful of me.  

Carter: when you have the opportunity, can we please talk?

Carter: I miss you.

Read: 9:56pm

July 2021

Ottawa, Ontario.

J.J.: we should talk.  At least we don’t make the wedding too awkward.

J.J.: Lunch, this afternoon at one. the café close to the arena.

Carter: see you there.

Two days before what the chat has deemed the wedding of the century, Carter found himself sitting across J.J. for the first time since April in downtown Ottawa. The wedding was going to be held at Shane’s cottage a couple hours out from the city, and all the guests were slowly pilling in. He wished that the conversation would’ve happened before, but J.J. was right, they needed to figure out something before people realized that they weren’t their usual selves with each other at the function.  The day was about Shane and Ilya, not whatever complicated feelings he was harboring right now.

It was difficult though. When he walked into the café, he already saw J.J. sitting at a table, dressed in the most casual summer wear – some running shorts that basically clung to his thick, muscular thighs, and a white t-shirt. It really wasn’t anything spectacular, but Carter was drooling at the thought, hoping the gold chain that sparkled on J.J.’s neck would swing in his face soon.

He needed to focus.

J.J. gave him a small smile, immediately called for the waiter to take their orders, and now they found themselves in the most awkward Mexican standoff as their drinks and pastries sat in front of them.

Carter knew this was his fault.

“Well…” Carter finally said after taking a sip of his latte. “I do appreciate you wanting to speak to me.” J.J. let out a small humorless laugh as he leaned back against his chair. Carter felt his dark eyes searching him, as if he could figure out the answer to why Carter just left him hanging, erasing all the progress they’ve made.

“You know Vaughn…” Carter cringed a little at hearing his last name.  This was confirmation that he was for sure in some serious shit. J.J. only called him his last name on the ice or when it’s something extremely serious.

“I am going to just cut the chase and say, that I am fucking hurt.” Carter watched the man shrug like it wasn’t heart breaking news. “I got eliminated in the playoffs, my capitaine and our best friend is going through some the worst moments of his life, and I said to myself, I cannot wait to talk to this man about this bullshit and figure out each other together.”

The dry laugh that accompanied the rant sent chills through Carter’s body. He found himself slowly slumping into the chair, filled with regret and shame. He obviously hurt J.J. He thought retreating would save them. Sitting here made him realize that it made things worse.

“I said to myself, maybe it was just the stress of the playoffs. Trying to get another cup in this tough ass conference. But when you guys were eliminated and I heard nothing. I just had to laugh to myself.” J.J. added. Carter feared that if J.J. continued his train of thought, the stabbing feeling that was heavy in his chest would hurt more, and the tears that were welling in his eyes would overflow.

This was bad.

“But what I think hurt more than not hearing from you as a person that I considered, I don’t know that we were in a direction to be in a relationship, was more the fact I didn’t hear from my friend. Vaughn, we’ve been friends for so fucking long, and barely a check in the group chat. Don’t you think I have all fucking rights to be very upset right now?” He said fulling leaning forward. “Carter, I put everything I got into us. Every fucking thing. Merde, peut-être trop. And look where it got me. Friendless, and fucking hurt.”

Carter took in a deep breath as he finally looked J.J. in the eyes again. His eyes were now also glossy, filled to the rim with tears. Carter fucked this up, and no explanation could truly erase what he did. He had to explain himself.

“The trip.” Carter started with a whisper. “It fucking terrified me J.J.” J.J. huffed as he raised his brow with a humorless smirk.

“And how do you think I felt, Vaughn? I was fucking there. I had to deal with the blow back. Shit I am still signed to Montreal, who do you think have to deal with the bullshit.”

“That’s exactly why I stepped back J.J. Fuck.” Carter groaned as he wiped his hand over his face. “That’s exactly fucking why. I saw how they ripped Shane a part. I did not want that happen to us – to you. I don’t know, maybe in my dumb permanently concussed ass mind, I thought this would be better. I guess I was fucking wrong.”

“You were.” Carter snorted at the answer before taking a deep sigh.

“I fucked up. I really did. And I hurt you and made myself fucking miserable. Gosh, I wish not talking to you was so fucking easy. But no, Kip literally had to stage an intervention.”

“Ah, that’s the day Bood fucked y’all over with Puncheon?” J.J. laughed a little. He took that as a small win.

“Yes.” Carter groaned again. “Look, I know a simple apology is not going to cut it. But I am really so sorry for ignoring you. It was a dumb tactic that did nothing but made things worse. J.J., ad believe me every single time I say this. I really fucking like you, and I want to continue to be with you in every capacity. I just, if I need to do the work to prove it. Give me the fucking work. Just please, I am so sorry and I am literally tempted to go on my knees right now and beg.”

“Please don’t.” J.J. sighed. Carter nodded his head as he looked at the man, hoping the response was at least somewhat positive.

“As much as I want to be mad. As much as the random girls at the Montreal bar I ranted too drunkenly one night told me to block your number and tell you to fuck off. I like you too much and it’s painful. But.” And of course, there was a but, there was always a but. “Things are not going back to normal. We are going to figure this shit out, and we are going to communicate. Carter I am too damn old for this shit.”

“Honestly… same. But I can work with that.”

“Okay. Now, what’s the over/under on Capitaine and Roz having their shit together for this wedding?”

The wedding was beautiful. Were his feet hurting because hard shoes into grass provided no stability and the couple failed to have chairs? Oh, absolutely. But that did not negate the fact that he had the privilege to see his friends, who were finally able to live their truth out loud, be surrounded by their loved ones. Now the drinks were pouring, the music that the Centaurs social media guy and Troy’s Barret’s boyfriend – Harris – was chaotically playing, brought the back yard to life. Everyone was dancing, drinking, passing around random children and babies, and having a grand time. Carter though, kept finding himself looking for J.J. They left the previous conversation on a cordial note, but the fact he hadn’t had sex in months, the liquid courage flowing through his veins and that J.J. was looking damn down criminally sexy, the tug in his pants were all about making bad decisions.

No one should look that damn good in a suit. It didn’t help that it wasn’t a traditional suit either. The navy-blue slacks clung tightly to his large legs that Carter was sure he would start a religion for. It was tied with a matching blazer – one that J.J. abandoned hours ago. Now was he his upper body was covered by a light pink dress shirt, one that could considered be painted across his broad chest, and the gold chain once again sparkling at him.

It was always that damn chain that got him.

His thoughts were broken when he felt a soft hand touch his shoulders. When he looked down, he saw Cassie watching him with an amused look.

“You’re staring.” She chuckled before walking away. Carter shook his head as he drained the rest of his cup, walking back to the makeshift bar. For as long as he knew Cassie, she was always adamant on how she knew the boys better than they knew themselves. It was obvious in this situation.

“Give me another tequila sprite please.” He said to David Hollander, who appointment himself as the wedding’s bartender.

Somehow Carter had four more tequila sprites and as the party wined down, convinced Zane and J.J. that they should all get an uber back into the city together. He was unsure on how the logistics for that went. He overheard Cassie telling them that wasn’t needed because they drove here in their SUV and she was already sober enough to do the drive. He hoped that’s how he got back to his hotel. All Carter knew that when he opened the door to his room, he found himself on his knees, finally unbuttoning those navy-blue slacks.

He was drunk. He was horny. He was finally worshiping J.J. Boiziau’s thighs.

Chapter End Notes

- Well, this chapter was brought to you by angst.
- While the chapter didn’t flow initially in the way I imagined it when I chose the song for it, I think the song still fits because a lot of earning ends up happening. And it would’ve been a significantly much better first dance song than Diamonds by Rihanna.
- Also, the thing Zane said about “of course I have family in New York, I’m Trini” is literally so applicable to entire archipelago. I swear, I do not know any Caribbean person who does not have family in New York. Like not one. Shit I got family in New York.
- I think this does a pretty decent job at explaining why Carter did what he did. He was wrong yes, but that man let fear dictate his actions. Like whew, baby no.
- I particularly wrote Carter in this way, especially his relationship with his father to show the contrast between him and J.J. J.J. had to do the bigger personality thing to find dominance within the locker room and his life. Carter was able to be a big personality with his friends in New York, which is a vast contrast on how he communicates with his father. Carter doesn’t see his father as an evil person, but as the strict and narrow rule book that Carter simple refuse to follow as an adult. The advice helped moved things forward, but jah knows Colonel Vaughn not being emotional at all. I think it’s important for that relationship to be established to get why Carter tends to flee a little. Anyways, hope that and more was established in this chapter.
- The amount of research that went in to figuring out the Air Force shit lmao
- Also, being extremely horny for J.J. even when he doesn’t really want to speak with you is so real. Like I too would be on my knees.
- I gave Carter the middle name Elijah because I asked my friend “what’s a middle name a light skin military brat would have?” And she said Elijah. So there we go lmaoooo.
- Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and looking forward to your comments.

 

Translations
Merde, peut-être trop. - Shit, maybe too much.

Chapter 7: Jealous

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration: Jealous - Nick Jonas

Chapter Notes

Translations at the end.

Carter pulled the bottom of his sweat soaked t-shirt to wipe the lingering sweat that was pooling at the top of his head. It was August, and North Central North Dakota and the 80-degree Fahrenheit day was showing its true colors. However, it was the first day for the week that it wasn’t thunder storming, which meant his mother asked him to go out and help the ranch hands with the horses. The family’s ranch was located off US-83 between Minot, and the Air Force Base.  They were one of the few Black ranchers in the state, and advertising the best, and high-quality cattle. So, as the good son to Patrick and Anita, he took his Black ass outside and deal with the horses. Now he was walking back towards their ranch home, thinking about the cold shower to cool down his body.

Walking into the kitchen, he noticed his mother pulling out a cast-iron pan from the oven, placing it on the counter. He peaked around, noticing the fresh cornbread, steaming with the crispy edges around the side. He was so happy to see it, as his mother was originally from Alabama and when she felt the spirit to throw down a good bit of southern cooking, it felt like a blessing.

“Boy, move your sweaty self away from my food.” Anita chuckles as she pushed him away.

“Momma, please. It looks so good.” He whined before smacking a dramatic kiss on her cheek.

“And it could look so great. The greatest. Get your stinky self out my kitchen. Clean up and we will have some turkey legs and other stuff with it for lunch.” She chastised with a big smile by pushing him away and going to check the pots on the stove. Carter chuckled as he took his phone from his pocket and headed towards his room on the way, he was stopped by the heavy footsteps of his father’s boots.

“Son.” He stated as he adjusted his uniform cap on his head.

“Colonel. Headed to the base?” He asked before giving his father a curt nod. Patrick nodded his head yes before staring at his son intently.

“The ranch is looking good?” He asked before reaching out and adjusting the collar on Carter’s t-shirt.

“As good as it can be. Susie was giving a little trouble, but she is doing great now.” He chuckled a little, thinking about his favorite horse. The horse reminded him about his self. Full of life, very excitable, but could also be extremely stubborn. Susie was basically Carter Elijah Vaughn.

“Perfect. And that issue that you were avoiding in June? That’s fixed?” Patrick asked, taking a step back and raising his eyebrow at his son. Carter let lout a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his neck. He wasn’t so sure if the issue itself a fixed, but they were on good terms. He texted with J.J. often, slowly getting back to level of comfortability they achieved in the beginning of the year. But to tell his father that it’s all fixed, well that would be a lie.

“Yes, it is.” He answered. Carter never said he wouldn’t lie about it. His father squinted and looked at him once more before nodding his head.

“I’ll see you later, son.” Carter let out a large breath that he didn’t know he was holding when his father headed towards the kitchen to tell his mother bye. He continued his way up the stairs, thinking once again about the much-needed cold shower, and good food he was about to indulge in. However, as he stepped into his ensuite bathroom, he noticed that his phone pinged with messages from what he considered the best group chat in the world.

4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: Hollzy and I are going to add someone to the chat and Roz is currently throwing a fit.

Thee Hollzy 🏒: 🙄

Thee Hollzy🏒: He will be fine.

Carter snorted at Shane’s response, knowing that the Russian man can be known for his theatrics. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to entertain the discussion at all.

Carter: 👀👀

Carter: who are we adding?? Why would Roz care?

Thee Hollzy 🏒: Svetlana.

Carter felt himself choke when he read the name. Svetlana was Rozanov’s best friend, and one of the most beautiful persons he has ever met. If he wasn’t so hung up about getting back in J.J.’s good graces, and wasn’t desperately in love liked him so much, he would’ve made more an effort to speak to her during the wedding. It also didn’t help that she was basically hockey royalty.

Carter: VETROVA???? As in Sergei Vetrov’s daughter???????

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: That’s the one 😂. She is Roz’s best friend. Cool people and she want to join the chat.

Carter: Well shit, I don’t see why not?? I believe she fits the criteria, POC and hot.

Thee Hollzy 🏒: that’s been the criteria all along??

Carter: maybe, or maybe I just made that up. Who knows…

Carter snickered to himself as he put the phone on the sink’s counter and finally started to peel off his sweaty clothes. There were no real criteria for the chat, besides them being good friends and a support system as persons of color. It’s been about seven years since he first made it and had no problem with the inclusion of Svetlana. She knew puck, and that’s all the mattered to him. Plus, his real issues lied with the Haitian man that plagued his mind. The one that pinned him down the hotel bed to the Ottawa last month - moving at an agonizing pace as ‘punishment’ for the emotional turmoil that he went through. Carter let out a huff as he wiped his face in frustration. He was letting his mind go back to that night again, one that fueled one too many masturbation sessions. Unfortunately for him, it was too late. His dick was already hard, throbbing and flushed against his stomach. He needed that cold shower more than ever. However, instead of being reasonable, he picked back up phone, as he stood in his bathroom – naked.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: Well, Roz is currently yelling “first they call my husband hot, now my best friend? Why is no one calling me hot?”

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: He is not taking this well.

Carter: 😂 It’s okay Roz, you’re hot too.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: He is now asking if that’s enough for him to join the chat.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: He is now arguing with Hollzy on how he doesn’t meet the criteria because he is white.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: Svetlana is also here by the way. She is now telling Roz that he is not just white, he is2 super white.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: “Okay but Shane doesn’t know any pop culture”

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: Hollzy just said that doesn’t mean Roz isn’t whiter than Russian and Canadian winters combined. 

Carter: 🤣🤣 oh Hollzy. A true comedian.

Despite being as naked as the day he was born, and unnaturally horny as hell, he found himself laughing at the banter that was going on the chat. His mind, once again slipped towards J.J. He hadn’t responded to the chat yet, and he questioned how the man would react. Would he make a concerted effort to flirt with Svetlana, would he join in the teasing about Ilya being white as snow? It was a series of question until the sound of a new text pulled him out of his thoughts.

Thee Hollzy🏒: Ilya is still ranting.

Thee Hollzy🏒: I’ll deal with him later.

Carter: I’m afraid to ask how….

[Shane adds unknown number to the group chat]

J.J 😁: Amis! I saw her name. Svetlana is FIONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…..

Well, that answered his questioned. Carter huffed as he felt his hear twisted in agony, and the suddenly feeling of anger filled through his body. Sure, he knew she was gorgeous. Everyone did. Did J.J. had to point that out in text in all caps, with, not one, not two, but 17 (!) e’s behind it? Did J.J. expressed his attraction about everyone else like that? Carter racked his brain and decided that he never heard J.J. referred to him with such reference. What made Svetlana better than me, that deserved 17 e’s being the colloquial term ‘foine’? Sure, she was hot, and Russian, and hot, and very smart, and hot but so was he – not the Russian part, but he had the charming well-traveled military brat thing going on. Carter huffed in frustration, as he inherently realized that he got jealous.

Jealous over a statement that either man – including the gayest of them all, Shane Hollander – would’ve made. In his fury of jealously, he thought it would address the bulging problem he had below. But somehow in his ever-twisted mind, it made him hornier. His mind switched immediately to him fucking J.J., letting that jealous rage out, and claiming what was hit.

Carter knew it. He was fucked.

After taking another deep breath, he picked up the phone to see what the fall would be out of J.J.’s confession.

(613) xxx-xxx: Well thank you Boiziau ☺️.

J.J😁: Oh.

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: 😭😭😭

Carter: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

Carter smirked at what was obviously a blatant rejection in his books. Good, because only he was allowed to have Jean-Jaquues Boiziau, and no one else was.

Thee Hollzy🏒: this is going to be great.

Thee Hollzy 🏒: Welcome Svet! 

Svetlana V.: Thanks Shane!!! I’m excited.

“My gosh, I am such a jealous bastard.” He mumbled to himself as he finally put his phone down. He opened the sliding door to the shower and turning the water to coldest setting available. Because if he was going to be a jealous bastard, at least he wasn’t going to be a flustered one.

The blistering summer heat was finally cooling down when Carter walked out of his favorite neighborhood spot with bagel filled with cream cheese and a new green tea drink that Kip insisted, he tried. The cool breeze that the looming autumn September brings always made him happy. Because when it got colder, it meant that hockey was near. That also meant all the Admirals were back in town, and he was ramping up to being the social guy of the team again. That meant he needed to make sure he attended birthday parties, baby showers, possible weddings, possible divorce parties (including ones from former WAGS for husbands were horrible people), and of course regular standings at the Kingfisher. The regular season looming also meant he would be able to see his friends from across the league at fixed times, and not just during ad-hoc ‘aye who free’ moments. He also had the schedule printed out and all games against the Centaurs and the Voyageurs circles. It was simple, he wanted to beat and then hang out with his friends. And for the games against Montreal – well he wanted to whoop their asses, and then of course touch one of their defense men asses. Sounded like the best of both worlds to him.

He was once again pulled out by his train thoughts as he finally plopped down on his couch, placing the drink on the coaster and the bagel on his coffee table, when the text chime echoed through the room.

J.J. 😁: [sent two photos both standing in front of the large mirror in his bedroom. In the first picture he had on a Dean Textured Short Sleeve Cream Button down shirt, snugged against his biceps and a few buttons undone, matched with a khaki pants and white sneakers. The second picture, he had on a tight fitted navy-blue polo, stretched across his broad chest and arms, black jeans, and freshly polished black dress boots]

J.J. 😁: bèl, choose a fit?

J.J. 😁: Before I ask capitaine (and somehow Roz)

Carter opened the pictures with a swiftness, and he zoomed in and around each one of them. J.J. looked, good, way too good. He had no business leaving the house looking that good and not going out in the streets of Montreal.

Carter: Second one. Chest looks surreal 🤤

Carter: but umm… where you’re going looking like that? You don’t own anything baggy or?

J.J.😁: super, that was my choice.

J.J.😁: remember Frédérique? He is hosting an event at his restaurant, and I would cry for some salt-fish fritters right now.

Carter rolled his eyes at the name Frédérique as he took a big bite of his bagel. Of course it was one of his events. J.J. was always going to his events. If he was being honest, he was about to join Rozanov in his distaste for Frédérique events and his world-famous saltfish fritters because that was the same place Shane met Rose. Fucking Frederique.

The saltfish fritters sounded excellent though. 

Carter: hmmm…
Carter: saltfish fritters do sound good.

J.J.😁: Il y a un problème?

Carter: Nope!

Carter: Have fun. Drink a lot. Eat a lot. You know

J.J.😁: Hmmm lmaoo

J.J. 😁: you’re jealous because I’m going outside looking hot?

Carter: You’re funny. I’ve never been jealous. I don’t get jealous. Jealous? Not me.

J.J. 😁: okay, so you would be fine if I don’t button up the polo shirt, and make sure to wear your favorite cologne and flirt with everyone at the bar then? Since it doesn’t matter?

J.J. 😁: many beautiful men and women will be there, and they all love them some Jean-Jaques. It shouldn’t be a problem because you aren’t jealous anyways.

Carter let the piece of the bagel dropped from his mouth as he reread the texts J.J. just sent him. He shook his head in fury, in disbelief at the words he was reading. Like sure, he knew that they weren’t together, but they both agreed to not see any other people and try to work things out again. The thought anybody – woman, man, they/them – touching *his* man felt like a slap to his face. That was not happening under his watch, even though he was 367 miles away from him. Yes, he looked up the distance. His fingers worked quickly, pressing the call button next to J.J.’s contact.

“Bèl, comment ça va?” J.J.’s deep voice answered with a chuckle. Carter rolled his eyes as he huffed into his couch.

“Do not comment, no sa and va me, Jean-Jaques.” Carter’s stern response resulted in a deep belly laugh from the man on the other end of the line. “I’m so serious.”

“I know, bèl.” J.J. continued to laugh. “You’re very cute when you’re jealous.”

“I am not jealous.” Carter yelled out. J.J. let out a small hum, as Carter can already envisioned the smirk that was plastered across his face. “Okay, maybe a little, but you have no business going outside looking like that.”

“And guess what, bèl. While I’m outside, mixing and mingling, I’ll be only thinking about you. I’ll be wondering if Carter would like this drink, if he would like how the chef made the salad this time. would he finish the entire basket of fritters, would he let me bend him over my couch and fuck him hard, and fast or hard and slow, either way… hard. Simple thoughts.”

“Fuck…” Carter mumbled as the last set of words shot right through his body and to his dick. “Are you really sure you don’t want to just… stay on a call with me?” J.J.’s low chuckles sent shivers down his spine, making the apparent hard situation even harder.

“Bèl, I would love to. However, duty calls. Don’t worry, as soon as I get home, I’ll call you. How about this?” Carter hummed in response. “You finish doing your evening chores, take a nice shower, maybe jerk off a little bit, and open yourself up. Don’t cum. And when I call you tonight, I want to see my favorite dildo on your bed. Oui?”

“Fuck.”

“I said, oui?” J.J. chuckled again.

“Yes, fuck. I’ll be ready for you.” Carter slightly moaned. J.J. let out a satisfied groan, and then shuffling emerged.

“Bon. I will talk to you later.”

A few days before the official season opener, J.J. found himself sprawled out across his couch, scrolling through his phone. It was late, and in retrospect, he should be sleeping as he had an early practice in the morning, but his brain just kept buzzing. He could already hear Shane telling him about the important of a reduce screen time and doing stretches to help him fall asleep. However, he was currently participating in his favorite pastime – scrolling through the Carter Vaughn Updates pages on twitter. Sure, it sounded strange, or an obsession, but if it was one thing we was certain about, is that he was obsessed with the man. Hae also haven’t told anyone, besides somehow hinting to Ilya about it last year, that he was obsessed with man. He should have the conversation with Shane soon. But alas, that didn’t matter at this moment. What mattered as when he clicked on @vaughnyupdates, is the first picture and caption that he saw. 

Carter Vaughn Updates  @vaughnyupdates

Carter Vaughn, and Scott Hunter’s fiancé, Kip Grady, looks stunning at the Admirals Fundraising Dinner tonight in Manhattan, NYC

[picture of Carter and Kip, both dressed in traditional black tuxedos, posed for a picture in what looked like a gala hall].

 reply @vaughnyupdates

CUP IN NY AGAIN  @admiralhottie

Can I say something controversial? What is Vaughny is Scott and Kip’s third?

reply @admiralhottie

SCOTT HUNTER PLEASE BREED ME @hunter4life91

And if I tell you that’s the least controversial statement and there is a whole section of twitter dedicated to Vaughn being their third.

Reply @hunter4life91

Real Admiral Fan   @oldschooladmiralfan

I don’t care that Hunter is gay, but Vaughn is the straightest man around, he is not participating in this harem.

Reply @oldschooladmiralfan

SCOTT HUNTER PLEASE BREED ME   @hunter4life91

Okay grandpa. Go to bed. All the girlies in NYC would vehemently disagree with you.

reply @hunter4life91

Vaughny’s left nipple  @nycpuckgirl

Gays always use big words, talking bout vehemently…

 

J.J. huffed at the replies insisting that Carter was Scott and Kip third. They wished that was the case. Carter was his, and his alone. Like sure, they weren’t official, and there weren’t any titles and sometimes things do get awkward when the real feelings are being discussed, but Carter was his. It annoyed him that he went to the gala looking that good. The tux fit him perfectly, and all J.J. wanted to do was to rip him out of it. But the fact that Kip was standing so close to him, and the entire internet decided that Kip and Carter were now touching each other’s balls, he was annoyed. Pissed, actually.

J.J.: Don’t let Kip stand that close to you again.

Bèl 🌅: ????

Bèl 🌅: LOOL… ah the pictures were posted.

Bèl 🌅: who is jealous now?

J.J.: I’m not jealous.

J.J.: I just don’t like that the entire internet thinks you’re their third.

J.J.: Don’t they know that you’re mine. I am the one sucking your dick from the back. Not Hunter!

J.J.: enkyetiad.

Bèl 🌅: lmaooo it’s okay.

Bèl 🌅: all that matters, if that I know who is doing it.

Bèl 🌅: also, I’m about to take off this tux, I’m certain you would love to see it.

J.J.: fuck

J.J.: yes.

[J.J. is calling Bèl 🌅]

Chapter End Notes

- Imagine being so possessive over a man you can’t find the balls to call your boyfriend. Okay fellas, lettuce all relax lmao
- I said I was going to lock in and write this chapter and immediately opened a million and one tags about Minot, North Dakota, ranches in the ears, ND black population and cowboys, the gah damn Google Maps to see where exactly this is, thus the high way mention. It’s the neurodivergence man… it takes over lmao.
- Also, loved writing the scene with Carter parents so we can see some more character lore and the difference between his mother and his father (who he loves, his father just a hardass).
- If you’ve read the text fic, the first text comes straight out of chapter 2 when Svetlana is added to the chat, this is just from Carter’s perspective, because how dare you call that woman fione with 17 e’s even though I just said she was indeed very attractive. Men… once again.
- Also, Carter started calling Zane Doubles man, after Zane brought him doubles like three times. He loves them.
- And ofc I had to make J.J. jealous because baby, this is a two way street. They are both obsessed.
- Also, I know vehemently isn’t a huge word (in my opinion) but I needed some drastic explanation.
- Thank you so so so so much for reading, and I look forward to your comments. Love yaaa.

Translations
bèl - handsome
Super - great
Il y a un probléme? - there is a problem?
Enkyetiad - idiots

Chapter 8: It's You

Chapter Summary

Song inspiration - It's You by Tamillia

Chapter Notes

- Cw/tw: homophobic language; implied racism; religious trauma. Chapter is heavy, please take care of yourself.
- Dialogue in italics are in Haitian Creole
- Translations at the end.

J.J. frustratedly threw his gear into his locker, and the locker room filled with tension from the recent loss. While the season haven’t been terrible, it was a horrible loss. By December, the team is usually cruising through the schedule, with analysts debating how deep in the playoffs they would be able to make it this year. But they just lost to Los Angeles at the home in an embarrassing fashion. Sure, the score of 2-4 didn’t look too bad, but the ease the four goals happened, and the limited shot attempts they had at the net, made their fans yell in disappointment. It didn’t help that after a game against Calgary; they would be playing the Centaurs. J.J. could see the ESPN ticker right now: ‘Are the Montreal Voyageurs much worse without future hall of famer center Shane Hollander?’

And yes, J.J. knew the answer was fucking yes. It wasn’t because the on-ice talent wasn’t there. The team was more or less the same, except for a few new fourth liners and their captain - a center who played for Dallas – Johnathan Meyers.  Without Shane, he noticed that a lot of the practices he instilled in the organization is what made them better. Shane led practices with a surgical precision, preparing the team for anything their opponents would throw at them. If they lost, he would obsess over film and come back to practice with a mission to fix the broken plays. While he was stern with the corrections, he was never mean about it. The meanness stilled inside coach, who would use all the vitriol on Shane himself. J.J. was happy that his best friend was now in a better environment, but he was miserable.

It was not secret J.J. hated Johnathan with a passion. The locker room would sneer and said because he missed Shane and spur a series of homophobic reasons as to why. But that was not the reason. Jonathan was the definition of a bitch. Salop, he would mutter every time the center would pass by him. He did nothing to encourage the group but loud, violent speeches. He was never on time for practice, never paid attention to changes in plays and line ups, and have successfully iced out Hayden and him from the team.

He was so ready to leave the fucking team.

It broke his heart thinking about it. Canada was home, Quebec was where he grew up, Montreal was his city. The people here became his family, his comfort. He learnt how to love, take care of himself, and most importantly be happy. But happiness wasn’t here anymore. It was somewhere far away, and he could only pray to find it sooner than later.

“I don’t know why you’re sulking; it’s your fucking fault we lost!” Meyers yelled in J.J.’s face as J.J. threw the last of his gear into his locker. J.J. quickly turned his head to face the man. He didn’t see when Meyers walked up to him, nor was paying attention to whatever the conversation was. The complaint was also dumb. J.J. prided himself in being one of the best defense men there is in the league. He was a fucking all-star for Christ Sake. He knew what all went wrong during the game, and none of the shit was his fault. No one called assignments out to him, and when he instructed his fellow players to cover, they would ignore him. How was a game where only one person for the Voyageurs could score was his fault? However, not of that mattered right now. Meyers encroached on his personal space, and he wasn’t having none of that.

“Get the fuck out of my face Meyers.” J.J. huffed as he pushed the man away from him.

“It’s fucking cap. You faggots need to start learning some respect.” Meyers yelled back, pinning J.J. into the lockers. J.J. winced as he felt the impact of the metal on his back. It was slightly sore from the hard check he received earlier in the game. The anger that he was trying to keep in for the sake of the team was now bubbling over. Who the hell did this man thought he was, putting his hands on him.

“Yeah, just because you can’t suck Hollander’s dick anymore, doesn’t mean you have to play like shit.” Comeau yelled, adding fuel to fire. He heard Drapeau’s loud laugh, and snickers from the locker room. His breathing quickly intensified as pushed Meyers off him, and immediately swinging a punch across his face.  J.J. felt himself blacking out. When he regained conscious, it was Hayden dragging him off of Meyers’ body, and his fists covered in blood.

Good.

The room erupted, the noise all blended. He had no idea what anyone was saying. The coaches were yelling at him. He just assumed he is going to be benched a couple games, because he didn’t care. He picked up his bag, not bothering with anything or anyone and went straight to his car.

He was not dealing with that shit.

J.J. woke up the following morning with his body aching more than usual. He was out of his element, groggy, annoyed and his fists hurt. He looked down at the bruises that adorned his knuckles and remembered the beating he gave to Meyers the night before. He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to adjust to the light that filled his room. Finally feeling awake, he pushed himself off his bed to start his day. After a quick morning routine of using the toilet, washing his face and brushing his teeth, he pulled out the phone to see what he missed overnight.

The first thing he saw was an email from the Voyageurs management, with the email subject stating J.J. Boizaiu - Suspended for three (3) games. J.J. in his annoyance sucked his teeth as he read through the email thread. His agent already responded, stating that both her and J.J. understood the implications of his locker room misconduct. While he was grateful for his agent, he was even more pissed off that he got suspended. A suspension meant that he couldn’t be with the team, which included their upcoming trip to Ottawa. He switched from his email app to the phone app and quickly called her.

“Jean-Jacques Boizaiu.” J.J. sighed as she called his full name. His agent, Angelique Jean-Baptiste, was no nonsense woman of Haitian decent that worked for the agency he was signed to since he entered the league. After his first agent retired after his fourth year, he decided it was important to have someone on his team that would always try to get the best for him but kept him on the right path.

“Angelique. Bonjour.” He sighed wiping his hand over his face.

“Now, as much as I want to sit down and cuss your ass out in creole right now, I want you to explain to me in the bitter sweetness of the Queen’s language as to what the fuck happened for you to be suspended for three games?” Angelique’s voice questioned, stern and to the point.

“We lost in a very embarrassing fashion. I was just trying to get undressed and out of there like I’ve been doing all season when Meyers walked up to me and yelled in my face and called me a faggot. I am sorry Angelique, but I saw red. The next thing I knew that Hayden was pulling me off him and I had bloody knuckles.”’ Angelique let out a heavy sigh at the retelling of what happened last night. He immediately heard the typing, the clicking of the keyboard providing some form of comfort.

“Look, personally, you didn’t do anything wrong J.J. Actually, I would’ve loved for you to beat him until he was unconscious.” J.J. snorted at the fact. From the day one Angelique never liked Johnathan, and he was glad that they were on the same page.  “But as your agent, this is not going to look good for you. I’ve already asked your publicist to craft a statement for you to post. The team already leaked the news and will be posting the announcement on their social medias in ten minutes. I doubt this would do too much harm to your reputation outside of Montréal as you’re known as the ‘nice jolly guy’, however, many Montréal fans still have hostility for Hollander, which then bleeds onto you.”

“Which is dumb if you ask me.” J.J. mumbled as he rolled his eyes.

“It is.” Angelique sighs. “J.J.”

“Yes?” He also sighed.

“I’m going to get you out of there. I’m putting out feelers, hopefully by the trade deadline, we will have something.” J.J. nodded his head despite Angelique not being able to see him. He knew this was the right step for his career, but he was still terrified of losing what he considered home.

“Thank you, Angelique, you’re the best.” He finally replied.

“I know.” They both chuckled. “Do me a favor, no more locker room fights please. Also, some of your stans on twitter are analyzing all your interactions with Carter Vaughn.”

“Huh?” J.J. pipped up, confused on why she was bringing it up.

“Mhhhm.” She laughed harder. “Will speak to you later.”
J.J. looked down at the phone in confusion. Were he and Carter being that obvious?  J.J. shook the thought and open his safe place – the group chat.

4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only

Princesse Russe👑: J.J., what happened yesterday?????

Princesse Russe 👑: [sent link to ESPN article talking about his suspension]

Cassie’s Mari: Oh shit!

Capitaine 🏒: I’m sorry, what?

Capitaine 🏒: even if it was something so detrimental to the team – which I doubt! – why would you do it when you have one the toughest games?

Princesse Russe👑: I told you already Shane, that organization makes decision based on their hatred of you, and not for their own good. I’ve been in conversations with other front offices and they see Montréal as a laughingstock.

Capitaine 🏒: Good.

J.J. sighed as he realized that the news already broke. He quickly switched back to his email app and downloaded the graphic his publicist sent him and posted it on his social media. Once that was over with, he returned to the chat, finally ready to vent.

J.J.: Mwen rayi Ii isit la.

J.J.: Meyers called me slur. I blacked out, beat his, now I’m suspended for three games🤷🏽‍♂️

Cassie’s Mari: yeah because suspending the one good defensive player before you have to play Hollanov surely makes sense 🙄.

Capitaine 🏒: WHAT???

Capitaine 🏒: How long has this been going on J.J.?

Bèl🌅: No, I don’t like this. You’re not safe in the locker room.

Cassie’s Mari: Do they know that you’re bi?

J.J.: I’ve never told them, but I never hid it. Also, doesn’t matter, any allegiance to Capitaine meant you were gay so 🤷🏽‍♂️

J.J.: Honestly… this behavior has been happening since the beginning of the season. I’ve just been good at ignoring them. But Meyers and his hot breath was in my face…

Capitaine 🏒: sigh

Princess Russe 👑: we don’t play you guys until next month, but I can put a word to Cliff about Meyers…

Cassie’s Mari: (don’t let Hollzy see this) I’ve never been afraid to check someone extra hard you know… 

Capitaine 🏒: Good thing I didn’t see the previous message Bood sent.

Capitaine 🏒: on a serious note.

Princess Russe 👑: Oh, but this note is serious…

Capitaine 🏒: How the hell do you get out of there, what does your contract looking like?

Bèl🌅: ^^^

J.J.: I have a year left.

J.J.: Angelique is putting out feelers. But I don’t really have any leeway on where they would trade me.

J.J.: For all we know they might send me to the devil’s nest (Toronto).

Cassie’s Mari: ohhh hell nah.

Bèl🌅: YUCK

Princesse Russe👑: I rebuke that!

Capitaine 🏒: 🤮

J.J. chuckled to himself at his friends’ reaction. From conversations he had with Wyatt Hayes and Ryan Price, and from how much of a disgusting person Dallas Kent was, there was nothing in this world that would convince him to play in Toronto. He decided that if the universe truly hated him and placed him in Toronto, he would retire with a quickness. He didn’t need the money that much. His thoughts were disrupted by the ring tone he set for his mother. J.J. cursed to himself, knowing what the conversation would be about, and she would be particularly upset that he didn’t tell her about the suspension first.

“Bonjou manman.” He answered.

“Jean-Jacques, what are you doing getting suspended?” The sternness of his mother’s question prompted him to sit on one of stools in front of his island.  

“Manman, I am sorry. I know it’s not a good look right now. It’s just the person was antagonizing me. I reacted poorly.” He sighed wiping his hands over his face.

“Did you get in a fight, my son? Is that why?”

“Oui, manman.”

“Jean-Jacques.” She sighed heavily. “I’ve told you from small, you must not let them get to you. Remember the scripture says if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” J.J. rolled his eyes at the verse. Sure, he found the ideology good in practice, but how much ignoring he must do once it became a threat to his life.

“I know. I know. It’s just, it was my final straw.” He huffed. His mother hummed at his response, as he heard the shuffling of pots and pans. She was most likely in the kitchen, preparing to cook for lunch.

“Come home during those days. Let’s have a serious conversation about what’s happening in your life. I am not a fan of it.” She finally spoke. J.J. scrunched his face in confusion. Besides the hiccup with the team, things have been decently alright in his eyes. Obviously, he was under the gaze of his community, and needed to be a perfect role model, but that’s just their expectations. J.J. was alright.

“About what?” His mother sighed in response to his question, which added another layer to his confusion.

“Jean-Jacques, you’re 31.” J.J. groaned, realizing where this was going. “You aren’t married, you have no children. And people are talking about your behavior. I thought we agreed your time with men was just a phase.” J.J. closed his eyes as he tried his best not to yell at his mother. He wished this was a new conversation, uncharted territory that would present him with shock. However, his mother convinced herself that any time he was seen flirting with a man, that he was just going through a phase – a lack of judgement that was influenced by Satan.

“So when you come home, we are going to find you a nice woman to marry. Okay?”

“Manman.”

“I am so serious, you need a person that will keep you on the right path.”

“Manman. I don’t need a nice woman to marry. I have all that I want already. I am in love.” He paused, shocked at himself for the verbal conversation. “Maybe it’s best I stay put and get some extra practice. I’ll speak to you later.” Before his mother could argue with him, J.J. hung up the phone, and slouched across the island.

“What the fuck man.” He complained as he pushed himself up to start breakfast. As he sluggishly moved his way through the kitchen, he answered Hayden, his restaurant buddies and few other folks from around the league, before going back to the group chat.

4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only

J.J.: Exactly.

J.J.: Like I am very grateful for Hayden and this chat. I feel I’ve been on edge every day since training camp.

Bèl🌅: and then they wonder why they lose games in a disastrous way.

Bèl🌅: I am sorry J.J. You know we will always have your back.

Cassie’s Mari: for real. Like, I am so serious. Give me a list so I know know which muddaskunts to check extra hard. Let’s shake some things up!

Capitaine 🏒: if they aren’t too busy trying to kill me or Roz.

Capitaine 🏒: I am so sorry J.J. All of this sucks. I wish they weren’t such

Cassie’s Mari: Bitches. Dutty stinking bitches that should go and suck out dem modda.

J.J. let out a loud laugh at Zane’s outburst. It was the first time since yesterday he felt some form of joy, and he was thankful for that.

Capitaine 🏒: well, thanks Bood. I wasn’t going to say it that colourful. 😭

Cassie’s Mari: You’re welcome Hollzy ☺️

Bèl🌅: Bood 😂

J.J.: I needed that laugh. Bood you’re the best. 😂

Princesse Russe👑: So I not going to say what I want to say before I get accused for #tampering but…

Princesse Russe👑: You need me to make a call J.J.? I know some people.

Capitaine 🏒: Svet, you can’t tap into the scary Russian mobster stereotype.

Princesse Russe👑: and why not?? J.J has a problem. I’ll get someone to fix it. )))

Cassie’s Mari:  Oh…

Capitaine🏒: Vetrova.

Princesse Russe👑: Hollander.

Princesse Russe👑: What all are they saying in the locker room? 

Bèl🌅: Svetlana scares me sometimes… 

J.J.: Same…

J.J.: Besides the homophobia, they are just being more racist than they ever been

J.J.: I had to curse out Comeau twice for saying that I was sucking capitaine dick.

J.J.: Like even if I wanted to… Rozanov would’ve killed me. So???

Capitaine 🏒: ????????

Bèl🌅: true

Cassie’s Mari: very very true.

Capitaine🏒: ??????

Princesse Russe👑: is that enough information for me to make a call Hollander?

Capitaine 🏒: fine.

Capitaine 🏒: just, no blood.

Princesse Russe👑: No promises.

Capitaine🏒: sigh.

J.J. chuckled as he put his phone down to focus on his eggs. He cracked six eggs in a bowl, seasoned it with some salt, black pepper and a little paprika before whisking the eggs. He opened the container with his chopped onions and peppers and added to his bowl. The small skillet was already placed on the burner, as he poured in a little bit of olive oil, as the pan heated up. Once he decided it was hot enough, he seamlessly start the process of cooking his eggs. By the time he caught himself, he was sitting back down on the island, with the fried eggs on toast (a multigrain option Shane insisted he should start eating) with some avocado and a cup of tea.  That’s when he finally picked up his phone to see a personal message from Carter.

Bèl🌅: Can we call?

J.J.: Yes, please.

“Talk to me. I don’t like that you’ve been holding this in.” Carter’s voice softly came over the speaker. J.J. sighed as he cut a piece of his egg with his fork and chewed it.

“It’s just been hell since September. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed playing hockey this season.” J.J. huffed as he cut another piece. “It’s like I go there and I get iced out, yelled at, discriminated against, and then go home. It’s so fucking draining. I feel, dégoûtant.”

“Disgusting?” Carter asked as he translated the last word that J.J. said. J.J. hummed as he took a couple more bites of his food.

“Oui. It’s just, I’m so used to some semblance of brotherhood you know. And if we lose, it’s somehow my fault. Like yeah, Hayden gets some blame, but a lot of it falls on me.” J.J. sighed as he dropped the fork onto his plate. He took a deep breath as he tried to hold in the tears that were threatening to escape.

“I haven’t told anyone this. You know coach called me the hard R?” J.J. let out a humorless chuckle.

“Excuse me?!” Carter’s voice raised from the other side of the phone. “J.J. please tell me you filed a complaint to ethics or something.”

“Can’t be the ethics office for this league.” J.J. sucked his teeth. “Plus, he said it after I went to file a complaint about how the locker room has been nothing but terrible for me. I am just so frustrated and the fact that I really don’t have the power to determine where I want to go is just so much more frustrating.”  

“Jesus.” Carter mumbled. J.J. pressed his palms into his forehead, trying to ease the looming headache.

“And to make things even more fucking worse, I just had to hold my tongue with my mother because she believes I am going down the wrong path again, which is putain de connerie.”

“The wrong path? How?” J.J. huffed as he shook his head despite Carter being unable to see him.

“I am too old to be by myself. I need to find a wife, have children. Stop causing issues in the locker room. Stop talking to men, because that’s the worst act of them all. Je ne peux pas être moi-même. Je dois être le fils parfait. It’s frustrating bèl.

“I know I can’t really help, but what do you want for yourself J.J.? Like not what your team is reducing you as, not what your mother or your family wants? What do you want?”  You. J.J. wanted to yell from the mountain tops that all he wanted was Carter. If he didn’t have the logic to explain it, but he felt having Carter in his life would erase all his current transgressions. It would ease the pain. It would make navigating through the Dante’s Inferno a little easier and more peaceful. He couldn’t tell Carter that. Not now, especially not after what happened earlier in the year. They were taking their time, understanding each other better. Learning how to love, support. But J.J. wanted nothing more to belong to Carter Vaughn, and if his job wasn’t ruining his life, it would’ve taken up full real estate instead of the 80% of his brain.

“I want to feel happy.” And that’s with you. J.J. heard Carter hummed at his response, as if he knew the full implications of what that would look like.

“And that happiness includes?”

“Leaving the fucking Voyageurs and…”

“And?” J.J. laughed a little. He was not doing a confession over the phone.

“And figuring out who the fuck Jean-Jacques is.”

J.J. spent another 45 minutes on the phone with Carter talking about everything form upcoming games, to why the shade periwinkle was the purple, and finding out there were different shades of periwinkle. They rambled about Hex Codes until Carter had to leave for practice. As the called ended, J.J. felt better. He always felt better after speaking to him. Which made his earlier internal confession even more daunting. He had to tell someone, and he needed advice quick. With a small sigh, he picked up the phone, to text the one person who would understand his current dilemma.

J.J.: So.

J.J.: I’m in love with Carter.

Capitaine 🏒: Oh.

Chapter End Notes

- I agree with you about that reaction Shane. Because oh, this getting serious.
- If you’ve read the text fic (which I’m going to assume everyone has), you would notice that the text dialogue is taken from there. However, due to how I am fleshing out this story, there is some changes and more added context. In the text fic, the chat doesn’t really know about them, but the sake of J.J. having support, I’m going to make him confide to Shane. Sooo those are some key differences.
- Also, these texts are from J.J.’s point of view which the names obviously reflect. Russian Princess can be seen as romantic, but I promise you, it’s a very platonic name in J.J.’s eyes. Svetlana becomes the sister that they spoil (spoiler for the next fic? Idk)
- It was only while writing this chapter, I realized that I haven’t given J.J.’s mother a name lool. Found one (thanks to my bestie) but for how the narrative is written, I decided to keep her nameless for this chapter.
- It is important to note that his mother isn’t a villain in this narrative. She is just projecting on what she deems best for her son, despite the harms it cost. A lot if is rooted in Christianity, thus her quoting scripture despite the verbal and physical abuse her son is facing. Righteousness is more important to her than anything.
- Also, idk why these men never want to fully express their emotions. Sir you’re 31, you can tell the man you love him. It’s okay. Carter is down bad for you tooo.
- Writing this has become a form of therapy to me (I had to fire my new therapist after one session because she sucked. Like why are you on your phone while I’m crying ma’am) and it’s making me realize a lot about how I view myself in terms of sexuality etc.
- This is the recipe for the Haitian eggs J.J. was making: Haitian Eggs by Savory Thoughts
- Anyways, this was a long note, but thanks for reading as always, and I look forward to your comments. Check me on twitter at yam_headash.

Translations
Salop - Bitch
Manman - mommy
Mari - husband
Princesse Russe - Russian Princess
Mwen rayi li isit la - I hate it here
dégoûtant - disgusting
putain de connerie - fucking foolishness
Je ne peux pas être moi-même. Je dois être le fils parfait. - I cannot be myself. I must be the perfect son.

 

Scripture reference:
Matthew 5:39 - But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. (NIV).

Chapter 9: Lanmou Fasil

Chapter Summary

Song Inspiration - Lanmou fasil by Vayb

Chapter Notes

- This ended up being longer than I anticipated.
- Italics are Shane and J.J. speaking in French.
- The group chat texts are from the text fic amended to fit the story
- Translations at the end.

“D’accord.” Shane mumbled as he plopped down next to J.J. on his couch. He just sent Ilya off with what J.J. would describe as love-sick series of goodbyes before he headed towards the arena early than others for the captains’ meeting. Despite being suspended, J.J. thought it would be better to drive up to Ottawa and spend time with his friends. It was a better suggestion than sulking at home. He also was convinced by Cassie to join her and two other WAGS – Lisa Hayes and Caitlin Dykstra – to watch the game at her and Zane’s home, while assuming the role of uncle J.J. and watching Milo for a bit. He liked the thought of that, it also meant he didn’t have to feel weird about the game in public.

However, before all the festivities he was looking forward to, Shane demanded he come over so they could finally talk in person about the text J.J. sent him. Sure, he explained over text, and then a subsequent phone call. However, his best friend was a man that needed things explained to him as clear as possible. He wasn’t going to let this confession go by easily. Even if that meant he was staring at J.J. intensely, trying to figure out what was going on in his active mind.

“I know you’ve told me this approximately three times, but to just clarify, you are telling me that you’re in love with Cater Vaughn.” Shane stated in Quebecois as if it was more of a statistic than a confession.

“Oui.” J.J. chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. It made him nervous every time he thought about his real feelings about Carter. It also made him giddy, as if he was merely a teenager with a huge crush.

“Okay, okay.” Shane nodded his head. “And this is Carter Vaughn, left winger for the New York Admirals. The one from North Dakota. The one that’s our best friend and was talking shit in the group chat last night? That one.”

“That’s the only Carter Vaughn I know, capitaine.” J.J. said with a big grin across his face. Shane dramatically clapped his hands and sunk into the couch.

“And this happened because you hooked up December last year when we were in New York.” Shane asked with a raised brow. J.J. felt his face flush, thinking about that first night all over again. HHow

“Yup.”

“Damn, I’m really not perspective as fuck.” Shane shook his head before turning his full attention to J.J. “Look, I am rooting for you, but for fucks sake do not be like Ilya and I. Tell that man you love him sooner than later. It took me almost a decade.”

“I don’t have a decade, Shane.” J.J. chuckled. “Over thirty, I can’t play games. However, it’s something I want to do in person. Maybe with some flowers, over a nice dinner, and maybe a good fuck after.”

“Oh my gosh. You’re insatiable.” Shane laughed. “But I agree.” Shane hummed as he picked up his phone from the coffee table in front of him.

“You play each other in Montreal and then in New York in January. J.J. do not fuck this up!”

“You’re very invested in this.” J.J. chuckled, shaking his head at Shane’s enthusiasm.

“Of course, I am. You are my best friend, and you deserve happiness. Like true happiness. And the hell hole that is the Voyageurs locker room isn’t giving you that. Go out, be in love. Be happy.”

“You’re so right.” J.J. sighed as he leaned his head on Shane’s shoulder. “Maybe it should be about me for once, and not what other’s want for him.” Shane hummed in agreement as he ran his fingers through J.J.’s tight coils.

“Correct. You deserve peace, happiness and joy. I know life hasn’t been easy for you. Yet you’ve dedicated so much on your time making life easier for others. Be in love.” J.J. nodded his head as he closed his eyes to prevent the tears that were threatening to escape. He thought about the last conversation he and with his mother about what his purpose in life looks to her. How coach set his expectations for J.J. and demanded he only act within those constraints. How he prioritized the experience and pleasure of his hook-ups. How he made sure that the restaurants he invested in always had great chefs, great events, and great clientele. It was rare that people made things easy for him. Their friendship group has been the few that actually did, but this felt different. It was one thing for a friend willing to look out and support you. It was a next thing for someone willing to comfort, take care and love you. Carter Vaughn pulled all of that for hum.

“Thanks Shane. I truly needed this.” He sighed once more, finding comfort on his best friend’s shoulder.

“No problem. You always have my back, and I will always have yours.” He smiled before shaking his head. “But Bood and I owe Ilya and Sveta money. Fucking hell.” J.J. raised his head off Shane’s shoulder and raised a brow at him.

“Were y’all nincompoops betting on me?” He asked, with amusement lacing his question.  “Also, not good look for some Canadians losing money two Russians by the way.”

“Man, fuck off.” Shane chuckled. “And yes, Bood swore y’all just fucked one just because homies sometimes want to suck each other dicks.” J.J. erupted into a loud laughter as he shook his head. There were things that were always guaranteed in life – death, taxes and Zane Boodram being a fool.

“Zane Boodram hurts my head.” J.J. said still chuckling.

“I believed something was happening, but not this serious. Ilya and Sveta were convinced you guys were together, and they confirmed it was such at our wedding.” Shane smiled. J.J. gave Shane a wide grin as he scratched the back his neck again.

“Well. I did ask Rozanov for advice after the first time we had sex. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was doing his creepy gaydar shit and figured it out. I am curious about how Svetlana figured that out.”

“She said you guys were eye fucking each other the entire wedding.” Shane chuckled. “And then after she met Carter for the first time, he admitted to her that he was jealous of her because of the chat’s reaction when she joined. It was only you being quite dramatic when she joined.” J.J. grin turned into an amused smirk as he shook his head.

“Carter gets jealous very quickly. It’s hot.” J.J. chuckled, taking his phone out of his pants pocket.

“And I doubt you’re better. I know how possessive you can get.” Shane said as he pushed his finger into J.J.’s shoulder. J.J. watched him at an amused look as he replicated Shane’s action.

“You, Shane, ‘if that woman touches Ilya’s arm one more time, I don’t care this is a business meeting for the foundation, I will blow her up into pieces, Hollander is talking about possessive?” J.J. scoffed as Shane narrowed his eyes at him.

“She was too fucking close. That’s my husband.” Shane huffed as he crossed him arms. “Find whatever, I’m possessive too.”  J.J. laughed as he leaned into the couch once more.

“It’s okay Shane, we are the two dumb bitches that tell each other exactly.” The pair erupted into laughter, taking in the light and fun moment before tonight’s game.

J.J. found him on the floor of the Boodram’s living room with a sleeping Milo across his chest. Lisa, Caitlin and Cassie were all spread out across the various furniture, with wine glasses in their hands. They were currently in a mindless conversation as the broadcasters spoke about the starting line ups and the keys to the game. While he felt at peace, and enjoyed the company of the Ottawa WAGS, it felt weird not being on the ice or in the arena when he wasn’t injured. It also felt weird not playing in a must win game. He shook those thoughts out his head as he zoned back into the conversation the women were having.

“I went and bought three extra bags of Lavender Epsom salt this morning. I have a feeling this game is going to be more violent than usual, and Zane will be sore, and bruised.” Cassie sighed as she took a sip of her wine. J.J. snorted as he stored that information for when he needed to tease Zane in the future, but it was so fucking beautiful to witness the fact that his wife was thinking ahead and knew what would make him feel better.

“I already carved out a day of relaxation for Wyatt and I tomorrow.” Lisa chimed in. “He was extra fidgety about this game yesterday. We will be having a movie marathon, and then a couple hours on Overwatch.”

“Yeah, I told Evan that we are taking a mandatory fishing trip. Susie is already with her grandparents. He needs the day terribly.” J.J. hummed as he noticed how each woman was being intentional on how they planned to support their spouse after a tough game. It had him thinking on how he would support Carter, or how Carter would support him. Was he doing anything right during their long distance? He remembered after a brutal loss, he made sure to send Carter a box of his favorite chocolates, a good bottle of wine, as they had a virtual movie night. But was that enough? Was he liked enough by Carter to receive the same? He believed so. After their phone call on the day he got suspended, his door knocked and saw Frédérique with an entire spread of Haitian food, stating how he got marching orders to feed him comfort food from New York. That confirmed how much he was in love with the man.

“How much intention do you guys put in supporting your husbands? Do they do the same for you?" J.J. questioned. Because as much as he loves to see his fellow players cared for, he really hoped that they also took care of their spouses and children.

“Oh always!” Lisa said with a big smile. “Wyatt has to be one of the most caring men I’ve ever met in my life. A true sweetheart, with the biggest heart one could imagine. After a long and frustrating shift, a couple weeks ago – he literally took me out of the city and found a place that had all these retro comics and memorabilia. We spent that day just gushing around, forgetting about my shift, eating a lot of ice cream. Carrying me around. It feels simple but it’s what I needed.”

“Wyatt is truly one of my favourite people.” J.J. chuckled as he nodded his head. The goalie was the nicest person ever, and he was so happy he and Lisa had each other.

“I like to be spoiled.” Caitlin laughed. “So, I definitely get treated to a monthly shopping spree at my favourite luxury stores.”

“Zane, took out my braids for me last week.” Cassie shrugged. J.J. quickly looked at the woman with wide eyes as he laughed a little.

“Those small ass, long ass braids you had in?” He questioned. Cassie nodded with a big smile as he sunk into her seat. Yeah, these men cared about their wives. Especially if Zane would take down braids that were advertised as smedium, but J.J. swore could’ve been micro and was long enough to touch Cassie’s butt.

Their conversation quickly died down as the commentators called the first face off for the game. In center ice, the camera zoomed in on Rozanov and Meyers both sneering at each other. While stadium sound did not pick up the words, J.J. knew that facial expression from a mile away. Ilya Rozanov was pissed.

The puck dropped and Roz won the face off. It was quick as he zoomed down the ice, passing the puck to an open Boodram. It was then when J.J. knew the game was going to be hell. Because as soon as Boodram got the puck, Meyers flew in and checked him hard into the boards.

“I know that fucking man did not just do that to my husband.” Cassie yelled. J.J. sighed as he snuggled Milo’s body closer to him. He hated this already.

Carter stood in the middle of the Kingfisher as the televisions around the bar broadcasted the Montreal and Ottawa game. The bar was uncharacteristically full for a game night that wasn’t theirs, but everyone knew this game was going to be an emotional one. Once it became public that J.J. was suspended for three days due to ‘locker room’ misconduct, the gossip mill of the league went wild, and most of the league knew it was because a fight between J.J. and Meyers. No one truly knew the details like Carter did. However, the story was juicy enough as people were curious to see how his best friends on the Centaurs would defend his honor.

Carter though, felt like shitting bricks. Sure, he knew that J.J. was currenty at the Boodrams house watching the game, but it didn’t make it easier. His friends were being targeted on each play, with checks that everyone knew that was borderline illegal. The Voyageurs defense was struggling, as they J.J. sized gap presented an easy opportunity for the Centaurs to score. However, the violence gave Montreal the opportunity to score as well. So, now, halfway through the third period and the score was at an excruciating 2-2.

“Can they get this done with, quickly.” Kip mumbled as he stood next to Carter. Carter nodded his head as he quickly looked down at his text threat with J.J. J.J. was giving him the live reaction amongst the WAGS, and as of right now, Lisa was threatening to perform team wide lobotomies for Voyageurs. To Carter’s knowledge, he was unsure if she could even do such, seeing that she is a pediatrician. His attention was brought back to the screen as someone in the bar yelled ‘shit’ very loudly.

Zoomed in, was Shane Hollander, notorious non-fighter, Shane Hollander, throwing gloves on the ground and proceeded to knock the shit out of the new captain, Johnathan Meyers.  The crowd in the Kingfisher went wild – hooting and hollering as the commentators over explained on how this was unprecedented from the superstar center. But Carter knew better. From the beginning the promised each other that they would always protect their own. Meyers crossed the line in the locker room, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t do such on the ice. The fight however, sent Shane to the penalty box and gave Montreal the power play. Their frustrations were bled out on the ice, because as much as they tried, no puck was getting passed Wyatt Hayes.

2 minutes left in the game, Shane was back on the ice, and the line became Boodram, Hollander, Rozanov.

“This has to be it right?” Kip questioned as their eyes were glued to the screen. Shane won the face off and they sped down the ice. Carter doesn’t know if he blinked too long or everything was a blur, but all he saw was Zane shooting the puck and the red horn sounding off.

3 – 2 Ottawa.

The Kingfisher, a bar in New Yorker, started chanting, death to Montreal.

Carter could not believe it.

4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only

Svet 👑: Shane Hollander.

Svet 👑: A fight?????

Svet 👑: that was so fucking hot.

Carter: the Kingfisher is yelling death to Montreal btw.

Carter: It’s a chant right now

Carter: between the fight, and this, I am in shock.

J.J.😁: Zane might get another child tonight.

J.J.😁: Cassie is wilding right now

Carter: 😭

Carter: Baby, how are you feeling about the game though?

J.J.😁: Bèl, conflicted.

J.J.😁: I am so thankful for my brothers.

J.J.😁: capitaine, I always knew he was feisty.

Svet👑: the feistiest. Love him.

Thee Hollzy🏒: fuck that bitch ass Meyers, I hope his nose will never heal.

Carter: 😮

Svet👑: Vengeful Hollander is hot.

J.J.😁: I think I might cry. Thank you so much capitaine.

J.J.😁: Thank you Bood.

J.J.😁: I am so happy you guys won. Fuck.

J.J.😁: Mwen rayi yo anpil.

Carter: Same.

Thee Hollzy🏒: Same

Svet 👑: Same

Bood (Doubles Man) 🇹🇹: And if those muddaskunts think they could ever get away with how they fucking treat my people, dem better fucking think about da again.

Bood (Doubles Man)🇹🇹: fuckhole.

January finally came around and J.J. had a plan. Well, J.J. with the help of Shane had a plan. After their game against New York, he was going to take Carter out for dinner at his favorite fusion restaurant downtown and then go back to his place where he had a bouquet of white roses and orchids, a large box of pastries and a speech declaring his love and asking Carter to be his boyfriend. It was a perfect plan. Fool-proof is you asked him. However, the Voyageurs front office had other plans. The day before they were set to play the Admirals at home, he got another email from the front office. He held his breath wondering if it was going to be another suspension – unfortunately – to a season veteran like him, it was worse.

Subject: IMMEDIATE: J.J. Boiziau Assignment to Laval IceCaps (AHL).

The Voyageurs were sending him to the fucking minors for the entire month of January. He quickly called Angelique, wondering if there was any way he could file a player grievance against this. There was no reason for him to be sent down to the minors. He wasn’t rehabilitating an injury, and he was star defenseman for over decade. It was sabotage. After a frustrating phone call with Angelique, he had to report to Laval immediately. She figured this was to tank his trade value, in hopes they can get rid of him easily. He frustratedly updated the chat about the situation and emotionally explained to Carter how he regretted not be able to see him, seeing he had to get on a flight the next day to play on the west coast.

Despite all the hiccups January brought, he made sure Carter got his flowers and his pastries. J.J. refused to let any inconvenience stop him from making sure Carter is treated right. Even though he was once again, unable to properly express his love and care for the man, he was going to show up regardless. Loving Carter was easy. He made J.J. feel giddy inside, filled him with happiness and joy. It also helped that Carter also took care of him.

After the first game with the AHL team, Carter sent him his new obsession – Biscoff cheesecake. They spoke on the phone for hours, rambling about everything life has thrown against him. After his second game, unable to sit on the phone for hours, J.J. was met with a handwritten letter to his hotel room, and an unnecessary amount of gift cards to Tim Hortons. They were becoming louder and louder about their admiration for each other.

4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only

J.J.: Great game Vaughny! Loved the post-game interview.

Capitaine 🏒: I’ve known you for over a decade. Since when you willingly watch a post-game interview?

J.J.: uhh…. Since always? I need to be informed capitaine!

Capitaine 🏒: you never watched mine??

Cassie’s Mari: Well Hollzy, you’re post-game is pretty predictable.

Capitaine 🏒: Not it’s not!

Princesse Russe👑: “Well, we just went out there and do what we do best, which is play hockey. I am thankful for Iy – Rozanov for being a great captain. The rookies are also getting better.”

Capitaine 🏒: Okay! And that’s what needs to be said.

Cassie’s Mari: exactly my point. 😂

Capitaine 🏒: whatever.

Capitaine 🏒: still does not negate the fact that J.J. is watching post-game!

J.J.: wow, can I not support my friends?

J.J.: foule difficile

Cassie’s Mari: Ha. Friend. Okay.  

Princesse Russe👑: Just listened to the post-game… it was regular?

Princesse Russe👑: Am I missing something?

Cassie’s Mari: Nothing but a man that’s down bad.

J.J.: Don’t be a hater Svet!

J.J.: it was great. He was nervous and did a great job.

Princesse Russe👑: Hmmm….

Capitaine 🏒: okay then.

Cassie’s Mari: Hmm….

Bèl 🌅: Hey guys!

Bèl 🌅: also, thanks J.J. I appreciate it a lot 😁🫶🏼

Princesse Russe👑: Heart emoji…. Lightskin heart emoji….

Cassie’s Mari: 👀👀

J.J.: I also really like your suit tonight. The navy compliments your skin well.

Capitaine 🏒: ???????

Capitaine 🏒: you know, you’re not subtle.

Cassie’s Mari: 👀👀

Bèl 🌅: Thank you 🥹. I bet this color would look good on you too.

Capitaine 🏒: ????

Cassie’s Mari: Hmmmm

Princesse Russe👑: lightskin heart emoji… colour complimenting skin… this is…. Something…

Princesse Russe👑: 

Chapter End Notes

- Another emotional one, but gosh aren’t those two lovers.
- This was originally supposed to be a short, filler chapter and well… here we go.
- Also, the league is not just punishing J.J., they are targeting that entire circle because they are ‘trouble makers” we are going to learn more about that in the next chapters
- Also….. ShayJ BFFISM TO THE WORLD. Sorry, those are my babies and I will love them till eternity.
- I think the conversation with the WAGs was necessary to calm down his overthinking a bit. Sure he loved his boys, but sometimes you just need another perspective on shit.
- They are being obvious. The entire chat knows that they are together. They are just waiting for them to tell the chat that they are together.
- I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. There are three more chapters to go and then ROSELANA! So once again make sure you’re subscribed to the series.

Translations
Mwen rayo yo anpil - I hate them so much.
Foule difficile - difficult crowd

Chapter 10: Unconditional Love

Chapter Summary

Song Inspiration - Unconditional Love by Jah Cure

Chapter Notes

- Once again, longer than I anticipated lol
- Italics between J.J. and his mother are in Haitian Creole.
- The group chat texts are from the text fic amended to fit the story.
- Translations at the end.

If January was hell, then February was a new place beneath it. Carter found himself seated next to Zane and Shane as they sat in a conference room across from Roger Crowell and the league’s lawyers in the MHL’s New York Headquarters. J.J. face took up the desktop on his desk, being the only one to take the meeting over zoom. They also had Shane’s attorney with them. After the stunt the commissioner pulled regarding him and Ilya, he wanted to be as prepared as possible. They got the notice for the meeting at the beginning of the month – demanding that the four of them met with the commissioner. It was ridiculous, the chose the morning of Valentine’s Day for this meeting. 8am to be exact. Carter had to rush to Newark to get on the team flight Vancouver. Zane and Shane had a game against Brooklyn tonight, and J.J. was in Montreal, hoping he gets playing time against Chicago.  It was a shitty Valentine’s Day.

“So, I hope you young men know why you are here this morning.” Crowell stated with a tight smile across his lips. The three men in the room watched each other with a sigh, before Zane spoke up.

“Sir, your email was quite vague, and the timing of this conversation couldn’t be even less inconvenient. Hollander, Boiziau and I all have games to prepare for this evening, and Vaughn has a flight to catch to the west coast.”  

“Oh, so you’re the mouthpiece of this operation?” Crowell scoff. Carter scrunched his face in disgust, confused as to what the man was even implying. They concluded that Zane and Shane’s lawyer should do most of the talking. Shane was itching to blow up on Crowell again, Carter wanted to box him off, and J.J. established that he wouldn’t say one word to the man in English.

“Operation? Sir, can you be clear on what your intentions are? Unless the league’s strategy is to keep harassing the few players of color that are a part of their league.” Zane huffed as he crossed his arms. Crowell raised his brow; face plastered with an annoying smirk. Yeah, Carter was itching to slap it off his face.  

“There is viable proof that you four, including Svetlana Vetrova, which we’ve sent a warning letter to the Boston about, have been colluding to undermine the league.” Crowell said as his lawyer pushed various manilla folders in front of them. “You four have a group chat, expressing such dissent. You are obviously posing a threat to the institution.” Carter let out a humorless laugh as he opened one of the folders that were presented in front of them, seeing various pictures from of them, most taken from a distance with their group chat opened. The pictures were all dated from October 2021 until December 2021. The pressures from the league exploded in January.

“Did you hire a private investigator to spy on my client?” Shane’s lawyer spoke up. The league’s lawyer quickly went on a tirade on how they had a plausible reason to such. Carter looked up on the screen to see J.J.’s annoyed facial reaction, typing viciously away on this phone.

“So, you decided to follow my client and his friends based on the sole idea that they might hate the league’s leadership?” Shane’s lawyer questioned one last time.

“It was detrimental to the league, especially people with such a large following as them.” Crowell chimed in. J.J. and Zane both loudly sucked their teeth, as Shane let out a maniacal laugh.  

“So, racists, homophobes, abusers of all kinds don’t deserve this treatment, but four men who hate how they’ve been treated in this league, can’t complain?” The lawyer confirmed one last time. Crowell just huffed as he leant back into his chair, acting like he won a prize.

“And you called this meeting to tell us this? Or is there is some actual repercussion that you’re trying to present?” Zane asked. Crowell’s smirk turned into a full-blown smile as he looked around the room. His eyes twinkled as if he was enjoying the entire process. Carter grabbed the table in front of him occupying his hands to not slap the man in front of him.

“Consider this, a warning letter. One more issue from you guys, and you will never, ever see the ice in my league again. Ask Boiziau about the AHL.” He chuckled. The three men looked at each other with wide yes, as J.J.’s boisterous laugh emitted from the conference room speakers.

“Roger Crowell. You’re truly, one of a kind.” The screen went blank, as J.J. exited the zoom call, leaving Carter slightly confused. He wasn’t supposed to leave early. But maybe it was better for that to happen then for J.J. to curse the man out.

“Well. Since that’s all. We will be leaving.” Zane said as he pushed himself out of his chair. Shane and Carter followed in suit, grabbing the files that were handed to them.

“Do expect official correspondence from me Mr. Crowell.” Shane’s lawyer said. With pained smiles across their faces, the group of them excited the conference room with a bigger chip on their shoulders.

J.J. took a deep breath as he entered his home. They day drained him. From the bullshit meeting in the morning, to the eggshells he has been navigating as he was reinstated back with the Voyageurs, it’s been exhausting. He didn’t see much time on the ice, and due to the emphatic 4-0 win against Chicago, the team acted like they really did not need his presence. If this was earlier in the season, he would argue about it. But now, he had to energy to worry about the team. Angelique told him the other day that is more than likely that he would be traded. He was just waiting for the announcement.

J.J. went through his post-game wind down routine, of taking a secondary shower, having dinner and plopping down in front of the television to see the highlights from the rest of the games and from the ongoing PWHL season. As much as the sport didn’t love him right now, he would always find comfort in hockey. He sighed, sinking into the couch, sticking his hand in the waist band of his sweats. As he felt himself slowly dozing off, the phone that sat next to him lit up, displaying an incoming call from Carter.

“Bèl, comment ça va?” J.J. quickly asked as he answered the phone. He noticed that Carter was leaning against a bright tiled wall, and music was playing loudly through the background.

“I’m okay.” Carter sighed, as he wiped his hand across his face. A small smile tugged on J.J.’s face as he took in the man’s appearance. Even in exhaustion, he was still beautiful. His tight coils were longer than usual, meaning he missed his usually haircut appointment, but it sat on top his face, slowly bouncing with his movement. He couldn’t see more than just his face, but noticed as blue collar, which J.J. assumed was to one of his button ups.

“Baby, I just hate that this is how my Valentine’s Day is going. I want to be up under you, not in some random bar in Vancity.” He huffed. J.J. let out a small chuckle, nodding his head in agreement.

“I want to be up under you too.” J.J. groaned as he threw his head back. He immediately got a flashback from the last time they were together. It’s been too damn long. “But all of your gifts will be at your place when you get back to New York from your road trip and I hope we can get time to see each other when I play in Jersey.”

“That sounds great, honestly.” Carter sighed as he leaned his head against the wall. “Wait, did your gift reach as yet? I swear to God if I have to yell at the Canadian post office.” J.J. chuckled as he shook his head lightly.

“I got the notice for it, but I was out already. I have to sign it off. I will get it in the morning. It’s okay Bèl.” J.J. smiled. Carter let out a huff as he closed his eyes a bit. “But you know what’s really going to be nice for me?” Carter opened his eyes slowly, raising his eyebrow.

“Sors ta queue. Je veux le voir.” J.J. chuckled at Carter’s wide eyes he looked down and then back at the screen quickly. This wasn’t the first time he told Carter he wanted to see his dick in French, and it surely wouldn’t be the last.

“Okay, wait.” Carter leaned off the wall as he went to double check that the single bathroom that he was in was locked. “Someone is going to think that I’m taking a shit, man.”

“Let them think. I want you to jerk off for me.” J.J. pulled down his sweats and boxer as Carter angled his phone on the ground, where he can see his entire body. He watched intently, slowly palming his dick, as Carter unzipped his pants, and pulling own dick out of his boxers.

“Spit on your hand and touch yourself for me bèl.” J.J. groaned out lowly. Carter quickly followed his instructions and let out a small moan as he slowly stroked his dick. J.J. wrapped his hand around his, copying the same motion.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” J.J. continued. “The way you stroke yourself, thinking it’s my hands on you. Is that’s what you’re imagining?”

“Baby…” Carters moaned out. “I need you so bad. I need you to fuck me.” J.J. felt his dick jump at Carter’s words, speeding his pace up.

“I want to fuck you too, bèl. I want to be so deep inside of you that the only thing that you remember is my name. Speed up, take some of that pre-cum, rub against your hole.” J.J. let out a pretty loud moan as Carter pushed his pants down, spread his legs opened so he could have better access. Carter’s whimpered went straight through him, as he felt all the blood in his body rush to his dick.

“Just like fucking that. You’re such a slut for me huh? Touching your hole in this pub bathroom. Thinking about all the ways you want me to fuck you. That’s what you’ve been thinking about all day huh?”

“Yes, please.” Carter moaned out, as he stroked and rubbed himself. “I need you. I need you I need – fuck. Baby, can I cum please?”  J.J. let out a loud groan as he also felt himself on the edge.

“Viens pour moi, bèl.”  J.J.’s and Carter’s moans filled the space as their orgasms ripped through them. J.J. chuckled as he watched how Carter painted the floor and cursed to him on how he had to clean it up. Carter pulled off rolls of the paper towel, wiped himself off, the floor, tucked himself back and then headed to the sink to wash his hands. J.J. was still on the couch, with his dick slowly rehardening at the sight in front of him.

“I’ve done a lot of crazy shit in the bathroom before, but fuck.” Carter chuckled as he finally picked up his phone. “You sure know how to work a fella out.” J.J. let out a deep laugh as he shook his head.

“I’m going to leave you get back with your teammates. I’ll most likely be asleep when you get back to your room.”

“Yeah.” Carter sighed. “I wished you were here with me. Also, your dick is looking extra suckable tonight.” J.J. laughed loudly once more.

“Ah oui, I knew you only cared about my dick.” J.J. fake pouted as he looked down. Carter giggled as he shook his head. His giggling paused as a loud knock came from the door.

“Alright. I have to go now for sure. Bye baby.”

“Bonne nuit, bèl.”

March 4^TH, 2022. It was the MHL’s trade deadline and J.J. knew that this was his last day as a Montreal Voyageur. The feeling couldn’t have been any more bittersweet. He paced around his living room the commentators from the MHL network giving their insider reports, and latest scoops on what movements would happen through the day. So far, nothing major has happened yet. Some draft capital was moved between teams, and fourth liners moved for cash considerations. He had his ringer off, ready for whenever Angelique called him. The anticipation was still making antsy, as if ants were calling all over his skin.

Princesse Russe👑: The deadline is today. Are you guys okay?

Capitaine🏒: No.

Bèl🌅: No

J.J.: Non

Cassie’s Mari: my butthole has been clenched all day.

Capitaine🏒: do you need tips on how to relax it or?

J.J. snorted loudly at Shane’s message. While it wasn’t totally an insane question, asking Zane that question couldn’t be any more hilarious.

J.J.: 😭😭

Bèl🌅: LOOOOL

Cassie’s Mari: No?????

Cassie’s Mari: I hate gays bro. Why would I?

Cassie’s Mari: Anyways, I always hate this day. Everything changes.

Bèl🌅: Scott told me a big change was happening for us, and I really hope so. Our offense can only do so much.

Princesse Russe👑: told you. You are not making it far with that defense.

Princesse Russe👑: My sources tell me that Montreal is making moves. I hope you’re ready J.J.

J.J.: I am not.

And he really wasn’t. Getting out of the Voyageurs locker room was a blessing. Leaving the city of Montreal, his favorite places and all of his connections, was a terrible feeling. He was just hoping, in whatever the Voyageurs do, they wouldn’t continue to fuck him over.

Capitaine🏒: If they trade you, it would not be Toronto. Trust me.

Capitaine🏒: Ilya hired an Etsy witch to make sure that wouldn’t happen.

Cassie’s Mari: Strange things happen in the Hollander-Rozanov household.

J.J.: Thanks?????

J.J. looked up from his phone when he heard the broadcasters announced that a new trade was announced. His mouth dropped opened as the known insider – Alexander Richardson – read off the stipulations of the trade.

“The Montreal Voyageurs are trading their first line left winger, Hayden Pike to the San Francisco Mission for defenseman Kevin Benjamin, a 2023 fifth round pick, and 2024 sixth round pick – which rights belong to the Houston Drillers. This is an interesting move by the Voyageurs that are moving from their veteran winger and getting rid of his contract. However, the Mission got someone with locker room leadership and years of playing wing next to Shane Hollander, which would improve their odds of getting to the cup this year.”

Cassie’s Mari: WHAT?????

J.J.: ??????????????

Capitaine🏒: oh fuck.

J.J.: THEY ARE TRADING HAYD TO SAN FRANSICO???? THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

Capitaine🏒: We are currently on the phone with him and Jackie right now. It’s a lot of mixed emotions.

Princesse Russe👑: San Franciso is good for him, but Montreal are some fools. You trade your star winger for fifth and sixth round picks, and one you don’t own? Have some shame.

Bèl🌅: that’s…. Wow.

J.J.: Shame left this organization as soon as they let Shane walked Svet.

Cassie’s Mari: damn right it did. Foolishness.

J.J.: Yeah, I’m out of here for sure. Especially if they shipped Hayden with such a quickness.

Princesse Russe👑: yeah you’re next for sure.

Princesse Russe👑: ANOTHER NOTIFICATION

Princesse Russe👑: черт возьми

J.J.’s hand trembled as he stood in front of the television as Alexander Richardson read off the next trade.

“The Montreal Voyageurs are trading their star defenseman J.J. Boizaiu to the New York Admirals in a three-way trade with Anaheim Hammerheads. The Hammerheads will receive the Admirals’ third line winger, the Finnish Leevi Hanninen, and their 2024 fourth round pick. The Voyageurs will receive Anaheim’s 2023 fifth round pick, and cash consideration. This immediately improves the Admirals defense and addresses the rumored locker room problems between Boiziau and the rest of the Voyageurs.”

Cassie’s Mari: OH MY GOSHHHH. LETS GOOOOOO

“Jean-Jacques Boizaiu. You are a now a member of the New York Admirals.” Angelique’s voice sang-song as he picked up the phone.

“Holy shit Angelique. New York? And they got worse?” He finally spoke as he plopped down onto his couch.

“Yes J.J.” She chuckled. “New York. Now this means that you’re off the team immediately. Luckily for you, the Admirals land tomorrow morning, and you will be on their bench. We have to work on the logistics of getting your locker room cleared and how to move you to New York. Do you have a place you can stay temporarily, or do I ask the team to set you up with a nice hotel?”

“I can stay with Carter.” He mumbled as his brain tried to catch up to the fact that he is now playing for the Admirals.

New York.
With Carter.

“Oh, I bet.” Angelique chuckled as she typed away. J.J. scrunched his face at his words, but was immediately distracted by the

J.J.: 😮

J.J: My agent is talking to me right now and I am stuck on the words New York.

Bèl🌅: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Bèl🌅: THIS IS SOOOO GREAT. I LOVE THIS. THANK YOU MONTREAL FOR BEING INCOMPETENT.

Princesse Russe👑: A three-way trade, and they don’t even get the player. Montreal, you are losers.

Princesse Russe👑: you would think with being 5^th in the conference they would make choices to be better….

Princesse Russe👑: They just letting anyone be GMs.

Capitaine🏒: told y’all the Etsy witch wouldn’t send him Toronto.

Bèl🌅: HOLLZY. I COULD KISS YOU ON YOUR MOUTH.

Capitaine🏒: This is Rozanov. No you could not kiss him on his mouth.

Princesse Russe👑: Go away Ilyusha! Let Carter kiss men on mouths!

Capitaine🏒: He could kiss any other man! Not mine!

Cassie’s Mari: I mean… J.J. would surely like that.

Bèl🌅: Huh???

Capitaine🏒: I’m back.

Capitaine🏒: huh??

Princesse Russe👑: the wind that makes men to kiss each other is strong today.

“Manman.” J.J. said as soon as his mother answered his phone call. The initial shock and hype around his trade had died down, and all the coordination with Angelique was being finalized. He knew he needed to speak to his mother, no matter what weird space they were functioning in right now. 

“Jean-Jacques. New York huh?” She hummed, waiting for his response. “Are you sure that’s a safe spot?”

“Why would New York be any more unsafe than my time with the Voyageurs?” J.J. asked as he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

“I’ve already told you, I am not too comfortable with you around Scott Hunter. I’m certain he is a nice guy, but we are trying to get you back on the right path.” She casually mentioned. J.J. closed his eyes tighter before he cleared his throat.

“Manman-”

“And son, I know you’re going to try to explain to me that there isn’t anything wrong. But I am worried about you. What if leaving the team will make things worse for you. I want you to be safe and happy.”

“Manman. I’ve told you many times – that team was making my life miserable. They did everything they could to bring me down. I’m going to a team where I will be okay. Things are going to be so much better. I need you to be happy for me.”

“But… Scott.”

“What about Hunter manman? Is it because he is gay? That doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to you!” His voice raised. He took a couple seconds to regulate his breathing.

“It should!” She yelled back. “This is the temptation that is going to come for you, my child. Aren’t we supposed to steer away from that?”

“Manman.” He huffed, trying to be as stern as possible before the tears escaped. “I am going to say this one time, and one time only. There is no temptation. I am bisexual. I like women and I like men. If you cannot accept that, then you cannot accept your one and only child. I am not cursed. I have not been marked by the beast. I am me.”

“Jean-Jacques.”

“No no.  Do not cry your way out of this one manman. I am a grown man. I can live the life I want for me. Look, I love you but everything you want is in complete contradiction than what I want. I am in love with a man and being in New York I will be closer to him. So hey, accept or don’t accept it. I’ll be in New York this week.” He heard his mother sniffle on the other end of the line, as he knew she was one step closer to bawling.

“Visit before you leave.” With that the call ended. He sank into the chair and took even deeper breaths. She was going to accept this. He needed her to accept this. It was only them. It was just Jean-Jacques, his mother Odette with a group of aunties that he still wasn’t too sure how they were related. Sure, she was married to his father, but he found himself in France over 25 years ago looking for better work. It also came with siblings that he saw maybe three times in his life. He saw the joy of his mother wither away each year. Her focused changed from finding a new life and purpose in Quebec, to being tied down to the church and preaching her version of the gospel. It was exhausting for the both of them.  So yes, he didn’t really like her or her mindset right now. However, his love for her goes deep. But so did his love for Carter. If she wouldn’t be able to accept that, he couldn’t continue this back and forth. She thought he would be the next prodigal son. J.J. just wanted his mommy and her love.

Chapter End Notes

- Everyone, let’s boo Crowell. Imagine being mad because the baddest in the league don’t fuck with you.
- When J.J. and Carter see each other in person for the first time in months… holes will be dug out. Just some horny boyssss
- Wrote most of this (besides the smut) at work because it’s not like I actually have things other than do.
- Original text fic I had San Jose… cannon is San Francisco… ope Bay Area shit regardless.
- The way I had all these schedules opened to make sure that all the dates were lined up lol.
- Sis. Odette (finally gave her name), please ease up on my boy please. If he wanna suck dick, he could suck dick!!!
- The prodigal son reference is from The Parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15: 11-31. I was going to give my breakdown of the story, but click the link for the wiki page lmao.
- As you can see, the chapter count has decreased lmaoo I feel like I’m the opposite of most writers on here. But that doesn’t mean anything! Story will wrap up in 12 chapters, which means there are two more chapters left :(
- Good news! Roselana fic is NEXT. I’ve been planning it out and just for context pulled inspiration from some songs that are in my Sapphic Shrooms playlist. Sit with that.
- Aight, enough long talk. I hope you enjoyed, and I love your comments.

Chapter 11: Why Not More

Chapter Summary

Song Inspiration - Why Not More by Coco Jones

Chapter Notes

- Translations at the end

Pablo Torre Finds Out ✔️ @pablofindsout

“You will never, ever see the ice in my league again. Ask Boiziau about the AHL.”

Pablo Torre sits down reporter Daniel Smith form The Athletic and Hockey Future Hall of Famer Shane Hollander’s mother, Yuna Hollander, as they discuss the MHL sanctioned ‘witch hunt’ against players of color and players who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and what it means for players that identify as both.

[video clip of Pablo, Daniel and Yuna in the Pablo Torre Finds out studio, as they listen to the clip of Roger Crowell threatening Shane, Zane, Carter and J.J.]

reply to @pablofindsout

Pablo Torre Finds Out ✔️ @pablofindsout

No Coloreds. No Queers. MHL Commissioner is stalking bis BIPOC and LGBTQ athletes and their allies.

[link to the full podcast on YouTube]

Reply to @pablofindsout

Boodram’s Left Nipple @centaursluver

Holy shit. Roger Crowell, you will start to cough in two days.

Reply to @pablofindsout

Hollzy I love you @terrimash

Oh, this is disgusting. I hope Shane and his boys sue the hell out of the league.

 

Quote Retweet

Daniel Smith ✔️ @danielsmithjournalist

Thank you to @pablotorre and @yunahollander for the help with this investigation. It is a shame that even when you’re the best in the league, they see you as a threat. In our full report for @theathletic, league sources have told us that Commissioner Crowell has been targeting Shane Hollander, Carter Vaughn, J.J. Boiziau and Zane Boodram individually since they were drafted, and collectively after an interview with Sports Illustrated that highlighted their friendship.

Pablo Torre Finds Out ✔️ @pablofindsout

“You will never, ever see the ice in my league again. Ask Boiziau about the AHL.”

Pablo Torre sits down reporter from The Athletic Daniel Smith and Hockey Future Hall of Famer Shane Hollander’s mother, Yuna Hollander, as they discuss the MHL sanctioned ‘witch hunt’ against the players of color and players who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and what it means for players that identify as both.

[video clip of Pablo, Daniel and Yuna in the Pablo Torre Finds out studio, as they listen to the clip of Roger Crowell threatening Shane, Zane, Carter and J.J.]

 

reply to @danielsmithjournalist

Vaughny Marry Me @admiralsmylove

.@MHL @RogerCrowell PUSSY ASS HOE. WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?

Quote Retweet

Yuna Hollander @yunahollander

I consider these young men as my sons. The fact that the MHL and Roger Crowell have the audacity to breech their privacy to prove a personal agenda is not only incredibly unprofessional, but extremely discriminatory – something the league insists it’s not. Thank you @pablotorre for having me on and thank you @danielsmithjournalist for your diligent work.

Pablo Torre Finds Out ✔️ @pablofindsout

“You will never, ever see the ice in my league again. Ask Boiziau about the AHL.”

Pablo Torre sits down reporter from The Athletic Daniel Smith and Hockey Future Hall of Famer Shane Hollander’s mother, Yuna Hollander, as they discuss the MHL sanctioned ‘witch hunt’ against the players of color and players who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and what it means for players that identify as both.

[video clip of Pablo, Daniel and Yuna in the Pablo Torre Finds out studio, as they listen to the clip of Roger Crowell threatening Shane, Zane, Carter and J.J.]

reply to @yunahollander

Yuna Hollander @yunahollander

I am also here to note that Shane Hollander, Jean -Jacques Boiziau, Carter Vaughn and Zane Boodram have filed a case against the Major Hockey League and Commissioner Roger Crowell for intimidation, racial, gender and sexual identity discrimination.

reply to @yunahollander

Voyageurs Hate Account @shaneholelander

Ope. @RogerCrowell do you know you have 30 minutes.

shane hollander’s left thigh  @Igocrazyforholly

Just finished watching the episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out and I want to say things that would get me investigated by the Canadian Security Intelligence Servies and the Federal Bureau of Investigation 😃

Pop Base ✔️ @popebase

Breaking: MHL’s star and First Husband Shane Hollander and his close friends are suing the MHL for racial, gender and sexual identity discrimination. This comes after the group found out the league hired a private investigator to follow them around and accuse them of undermining the league.

reply to @popbase

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

Honoured to be called one of Shane Hollander’s close friends. I’m adding this to my list of achievements.

 

ESPN ✔️@espn

Sources: Commissioner Roger Crowell claims the allegations made against him of targeting Shane Hollander and Zane Boodram of the Ottawa Centaurs, Carter Vaughn of the New York Admirals, and J.J. Boiziau of the then Montreal Voyageurs and now New York Admirals are baseless and that the league was functioning under due diligence.

reply to @espn

Haasy I love you @hollanov89

And I thought Adam Silver and Cathy Englebert were dumb commissioners but SIR you take the cake.

reply to @espn

Ilya Rozanov ✔ @ilyarozanov81

Calling my husband a liar. Okay.

Roger @rogerhockeylvr

Commissioner Crowell is right. Those men have been tainting my sport for far too long and I am finally glad he has noticed this and decided to fix it.

reply to @rogerhockeylvr

Mr. Micheal Halley @mrbesthockeydad

Go Home Roger! Hockey is supposed to be an inclusive, fun sport, no space for bigots like you

reply to @mrbesthockeydad

Ilya’s bicep @rozylover81

Tell them again Mr. Micheal!!

reply to @rogerhockeylvr

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

Roger, go haul your dutty stinking crasis muddaskunt.

reply to @trini2bone

Boodram’s Left Nipple @centaursluver

Idk what he just said but I’m going to stick beside him and say PERIODDD.

 

Svetlana @lana

It’s particularly heartbreaking as a woman in this male dominated industry, that I would be targeted based on who I consider friends. The Bears front office has officially filed a complaint against the league on my behalf, and I have given both my verbal and legal support towards the lawsuit filed against the league that was filled by Shane Hollander, Jean-Jacques Boizaiu, Zane Boodram and Carter Vaughn.

reply to @lana

Carter Vaughn ✔@vaughny

Love you Svet!

reply to @lana

Shane Hollander ✔ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

🩵 thank you for everything. We got this. Love you Svetlana.

Reply to @lana

Ilya Rozanov ✔ @ilyarozanov81

Я люблю тебя. Держи голову выше.

Reply to @lana

J.J. Boiziau✔ @jjboiziau

Princesse Russe, je vous adore. Merci.

 

Voyageurs Hate Account @shaneholelander

Wait, I know we are all serious and stuff right now (as we should be), but J.J. and Svetlana is kinda buzzy, don’t we think?

[screenshot of J.J.’s response to Svetlana’s tweet]

reply to @shaneholelander

Carter Vaughn ✔ @vaughny

Nah.

reply to @shaneholelander

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

Hmmmmm… I wouldn’t say that.

reply to @shaneholelander

Ilya Rozanov ✔ @ilyarozanov81

@lana  @jjboiziau 🤣🤣🤣 see this.

reply to @ilyarozanov81

Svetlana @lana

Sorry to shaneholelander, but nah. That’s not happening.

reply to @lana

J.J. Boiziau✔ @jjboiziau

Ils veulent ma mort.

reply to @shaneholelander

Shane Hollander ✔ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

Your twitter handle concerns me.

 

J.J. Boiziau✔ @jjboiziau

🖕🏾🖕🏾

[link to Send The Addy by Flo Milli]

reply to @jjboiziau

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

[links to Shabba Modda Pot by Dexta Daps]

“This is the third game for the Montreal Voyageurs since they’ve traded their winger Hayden Pike and defenseman J.J. Boiziau. The results post trade deadline has been disappointing so far. They’ve lost to Vegas and at home versus Carolina. While both games were close, it is imperative that we can see the major defensive hole in their game without Boiziau. Tonight, Boiziau will be in the Bell Centre, but sitting on the Admirals bench as he awaits to be cleared by medical. I am certain this must be an emotional experience for Boiziau.”

J.J. spent on the game on the bench next to the coach Murdock and the rest of the coaching staff, observing the Admirals and their schemes from their perspective. He noticed it immediately, the defensive gaps that Svetlana warned them about in the beginning of the season. He thought to himself how he could contribute to plays, ensuring that their goalie – Tommy Andersson – didn’t have to endure the puck hurling towards him all the game. He hated to admit it; the Voyageurs were putting up a game. However, he felt it was different than the last two games that they played after his trade. They were more aggressive this time, as if proving a point on how strong they were mattered to the Admirals. He saw Hunter get into a verbal match with Meyers. He saw Carter checking Comeau extra hard during a play in the 2^nd period.

That, that made him feel something. He didn’t want to think too much about it, especially while he was sitting next to Murdock. He’ll thank Carter for his hard work later.  

J.J. was antsy. Every minute that went buy made his nerves worse. It was something about stepping into the Bell Centre for one last time that made his skin itch. Sure, his locker was cleared, his things that he was moving with were packed and already enroute to New York or put in storage. His time in Montreal was soon over. As soon as he walked through the Montréal-Trudeau Airport in the morning, that was it. Obviously, he was keeping his ties in the city. He could never abandon the city itself. But the hockey that belonged to the city, he was ready to get rid of it.

“Fuck.” He heard Murdock cursed as the final buzzer went off. He looked up to the score board, seeing that the game was tied 3-3. Five more minutes of hockey. J.J. turned his focus to the huddle, as Murdock yelled out assignments and plays for the overtime period. As he was listening to his new coach, he turned his head to see that he was being stared at from the Voyageurs bench. Looking straight at him was Meyers and Comeau, with smug smirks across their faces. J.J. rolled his eyes as he noticed Meyers mouthing at least three slurs against him. It was a pity they didn’t play the Voyageurs for the rest of the season – he would’ve finished what he stared in the locker room.

The referees’ whistles blew, indicating the start of the overtime period. J.J. was on the edge of the bench, fully locked into the game. They had to win this. He would feel extra sick if that wasn’t the case.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gearing up for one hell of a game tonight. With the overtime period ending at 3-3 the teams are now preparing to participate in a shootout. For the sake of Voyageurs fans and fans that are up watching this game, we hope it ends quickly.”

The first two attempts were good, but not good enough. The score was still tied and while Andersson was holding his own in the net, J.J. wanted this to be over with. J.J. held his breath as he watched Carter skate to the middle of the ice towards the puck. With a level of grace and speed, he noticed that Carter found the perfect opening and hit the puck towards the net, right pass Drapeau. The goal buzzer went off, and the entire bench erupted into cheers. As those on skates jumped on the ice to hug Carter, J.J. turned to the now miserable Voyageurs bench and flipped them off. 

This was officially a new beginning.

The late flight into Newark from Pittsburg had Carter exhausted. It was a tough OT loss against them, and the road trip and everything that came from it had him exhausted.  Each team played hard, and he was still feeling the bruising from the Montreal game. It also didn’t help that he felt slightly uncomfortable, still in his game day suit since they went straight to the airport from the arena. That didn’t matter though. What mattered was the fact that he was currently laying his head against J.J.’s shoulder as the black car drove them into Manhattan. They agreed that J.J. would stay with him during his ‘adjustment’ period. Especially since it was March and the season would hopefully be done for them in June, it didn’t make sense for J.J. to rush and find an apartment, especially when the Admirals already told J.J. they are ready to commit to him long term. Carter on the other hand was just hoping that J.J. would just move in with him completely. His Manhattan apartment had more than enough space for the both of them. Them living together permanently also meant that Carter hoped that they would officially be boyfriends.

Sure, the duo was exclusive. There was no one else taking up the valuable real estate in his mind other than J.J. But every time he thought it would be the right time to ask him to be his boyfriend, something happened. The assignment to the minors, the stupid meeting with Crowell, the trade deadline. But Carter knew he was going to ask this week. They were going to settle in, play some great home games, and he would ask J.J. to be his boyfriend.

A very, simple task.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, as J.J. slowly played with his curls. The partition was up, and he was fighting the urge to not channel his inner Beyoncé – because he was very close to becoming Yoncé on her knees. But he was home, that was home and the man’s shoulder he was leaning against on, would officially be his soon.

They got to Carter’s apartment around 1 am, and Carter wanted to do nothing more than take a shower and crash in his bed until practice later that day. To his surprised, when he unlocked his door, he noticed white petals across his floor. He turned around to see J.J. bringing in their suitcases with a big grin across his face. As J.J. closed the door behind him, he turned to the light switch and toggled the light so the foyer and living room could be dimly lit. Carter squinted his eyes at him before turning back around. He quickly toed off his shoes and followed the petals into the living room.

“J.J.” He whispered as he took in the scene in front of him. There was a flower arch with white roses and orchids, with a heart in the middle and a led sign saying, “please be mine.” He quickly turned around to see J.J. with a bouquet of the same flowers, unsure where he got them from.

“Carter Vaughn.” J.J. chuckled before taking a deep breath. Carter watched the man with tears pooling in front of his eyes. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to yell at him a little, because he was supposed to be first. But no, the man he loved, the most perfect man in his eyes, was in front of him with a bouquet of his favorite flowers, about to ask him to be his boyfriend.

“These last couple of months has truly been a journey.” The pair both laughed. “However, I couldn’t be any more grateful of having you by my side through everything. It’s not just your support. Everything about you. I love. Carter Vaughn, I love your smile, the cute frown you make when someone confuses you, the loudness of your laugh, the sweetness of your giggles. I love how you’re never afraid to command the room. I love you how you love others, how you love your community. I love how you play hockey, how you go out and have fun, but still beat everyone’s asses. I love your dedication. I love you’re driven.  I love how well you take my dick.”

“J.J.” Carter sucked his teeth with a small smile as J.J. laughed. Tears were officially running down his face, but somehow, the man found a way to be crude.  

“It’s true.” J.J. shrugged as his grin got a wider. “And, Je t'aime. Je t'ai toujours aimé. Tu es un de mes meilleurs amis et maintenant, je veux être à toi. Carter Vaughn, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Fuck yes.” Carter huffed out before pulling J.J. into a long a kiss.

Carter hovered J.J. as he kissed him from his neck, moving slowly down his body. Their suits were thrown all over the apartment, as the pair raced to ravish each other. His kisses paused as blew over J.J.’s left nipple and then swirl his tongue around it. J.J.’s breathing hitched as Carter took his time, licking and sucking. Once he felt that one got enough attention, he moved towards the right one. He felt J.J.’s breathing got heavier, as the man’s arms wrapped around him, pressing his dick against Carter. Despite the rushing feeling through their bodies, Carter took his time.

“Baby, let me worship your body.” Carter smiled a little as he felt J.J.’s body shiver at the words. He kissed down J.J.’s torso, nibbling, and then kissing the spot again. He continued this until he reached the crevasses of his abs, taking a long lick across the lines.

“I knew you were obsessed with them.” J.J. chuckled which earned him a small hit on his thighs. Carter continued his worship, as he kissed down to J.J.’s hip, skipping over his crotch and down to his thighs. He went down to his calf on his left leg and went calf up on his right.

“Bèl, I love you, but please do something with my dick.” Carter chuckled as he spread J.J.’s legs wider, giving him a full view of his dick, balls, and ass.”

“I think I’m too tired to properly fuck tonight, but.” Before J.J. could respond, Carter wrapped his lips around his dick, pushing himself down to the base. J.J. moaned loudly at the sudden contact and the sight in front of him. Carter sighed around him, moving diligently up and down his shaft while slowly playing with his balls. He used J.J.’s moans as his own personal soundtrack – setting a solid rhythm for to get off. As Carter felt his own dick leaking with precum, he brought his hand to stroke himself a couple times, swiping off the precum. He took the same finger and started to slowly rub circles around the entrance of J.J.’s hole.

“Fuck mwen. Pa sispann.” J.J. moaned out, mumbling a string of words in a mixture of French and Creole. Carter sped up his pace, as he also pressed his body into the bed. The filthy yet satisfying feeling of orgasm by giving someone head was always mind-blowing for him, and he couldn’t be more thankful that it was happening now. Carter pressed J.J.’s body down into the bed as he took him down one last time. J.J. moaned loudly, shooting ropes of his cum down Carter’s throat. In response to feeling, Carter moaned around his dick as he felt himself spill out on the bed underneath him. As the pair finally regained their senses, Carter pulled J.J.’s dick out of his mouth, resting on his thigh with a sigh.

“Bèl. Let me finish you off.” J.J. said softly, as he ran his hand through Carter’s curls.

“No need.” Carter hummed. He felt J.J.’s body shift and then erupt into light laughter.  He obviously saw the mess he made.

“Oh, Bèl. Come lay with me.” Carter slowly dragged him up, settling on J.J.’s chest. Despite how fifthly their bodies and bed were at the moment, he couldn’t wish for any other way to spend his night.

“I love you, baby.” Carter mumbled as his eyes closed.

“I love you too, bèl.”

After a 5-3 win over Washington, J.J. was pulled to the side to do a quick media scrum. It was his first game in Madison State Garden as an Admiral and one in which he put on a masterful defense clinic. The scrum wasn’t too bad. Questions about adjusting to a new team, getting his minutes back up on the ice, and what he is looking forward to season. It was when a national reporter from USA Today asked him about his time with the Voyageurs and if it’s tied to the lawsuit against Crowell is when he let out a dip sigh.

“It is unfortunate that my time with Montreal ended the way it did.” He started as his Québecois accent coming out stronger than it was throughout the availability. “When I am able to tell my story, I think many people will be looking at the organization differently. But as of right now, I am focused on my time with the Admirals, and anything regarding the lawsuit will go through its due process.”

Christina, their newly promoted communications manager, wrapped up the scrum after that, ushering the reporters out of the hallway. J.J. gave her a small smile as he walked towards the home locker room. As he pushed the door opened, he saw Carter standing on the bench next to his locker, with a Bluetooth speaker on shoulder playing a song that sounded a lot like Ja Rule.

“I got a hundred guns, a hundred clips. Nigga I’m from New York, New York. I got a semi-automatic that spits. Next time if you talk, you talk.” Carter rapped as he wrapped his arms around a very still and concerned Scott Hunter. The other players in the locker room either nodded their heads to song or watched Carter with the same levels of concern.

“Oh, so this is how we celebrate home wins?” J.J. laughed, as he walked up to Scott and Carter. Scott shook his head as Carter turned to rapping towards J.J. J.J. had the most lovesick smiled plastered across his face, as he watched his boyfriend act a fool.

Ah yes, boyfriend. That made him giddier.

“I don’t know. For some reason Vaughny just felt like showing off?” Scott said with a shrug. “I also have no idea what this song is or what he is insinuating.”

“Word that niggas wanna murk you is in the air. A double shot of ‘gnac and the purple is in the air. And I’m not cocky, I’m confident. So, when you tell me I’m the best, it’s a compliment.” Carter rapped as he turned back to Scott. J.J. laughed as he patted Scott’s shoulder.

“It’s New York by Ja Rule.”

“By whom-?” The locker room immediately erupted into a debate on who Ja Rule is and if he is still relevant to the city. While the others were yelling at each other, Carter hopped down from his bench and looked at J.J. with an amusing glint in his eyes.

“Hi baby.” He whispered, so only J.J. could hear him. J.J. looked around the locker room before turning back to Carter was dressed in his under shirt and compression tights.

“Bèl.” J.J. smiled.

“Good game.” Carter’s demeanor changed from boyfriend to locker room bro. “We must celebrate tonight fellas. It’s Boiziau’s first win in MSG! I say let’s take over the Kingfisher tonight!”

Despite being out of the playoffs, J.J. still felt himself smiling as he cleaned his locker at the practice facility for the summer. They weren’t going to be spending much time in New York, so he just kept a few things for the times they pop in to do workouts or fool around on the ice a bit. For the first time in a long time, he felt some semblance of peace. Of course, everything wasn’t perfect. He would’ve loved to beat New Jersey and facing Carolina in the second round. However, his body is also grateful for the rest. No matter how well you take care of your body as a professional athlete, it will protest, and J.J.’s left shoulder was ready to pick up a sign and head to the streets for mistreatment. The off-season also brought more joys, he would be able to spend more time with Carter, visit his family in North Dakota and officially meet his parents. He would be able to go back to Montreal for a week or two and taste test Frederique’s summer menu, while checking in on the new café he invested in. He would be able to swing to Ottawa and catch his best friends go on a run for the cup. There were enough fulfilling ways to spend his time, but as of right now, he just wanted to cuddle with his boyfriend. J.J. loved saying the word boyfriend. While they never officially told their friends, he kept going around saying ‘my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend’ to the point where Zane cussed him out for never telling them how they made it official. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to tell people how, it’s just that J.J. forgot to explain and just started to parade Carter around.

J.J. chuckled to himself as he zipped his bag he turned to Carter who had a big smile waiting for him.  The pair grabbed their bags and stared to give out their goodbyes to the guys who were still in the locker room. As they finalized their goodbyes, Carter gave him a goofy smile that indicated he was about to do something impulsive.  

“Hey guys, so quick announcement.” Carter said as he stood by the door in front of J.J.

“I am like the kitchen appliance your fry eggs in, and J.J is my boyfriend. Alright bye.” J.J. let out a loud laugh as Carter grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the locker room. Carter could hear the confusion amongst his teammates as they tried to decode what he told him. That didn’t matter to him though. It was summer and he had his man. As they got to the parking garage, Carter pushed J.J. against his car and pulled him for a deep kiss. When they finally pulled away, J.J. looked at him with low eyes and a sultry smirk.

“Let’s get home Bèl. I have plans for us.”

Carter Vaughn ✔ @vaughny

🏳️‍🌈

[attached to tweet are four pictures. one: a picture of Carter waving an Admirals themed Pride flag at New York Pride; two: close up of Carter’s face with the pansexual flag painted on his cheeks; three: Carter kissing the bare back of a Black man, where you can’t see the other’s man face, while they are in a kitchen; four: Carter at the Kingfisher with Shane, Svetlana, Zane and J.J.]

reply to @vaughny

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

You’re so fucking possessive, was the second picture necessary?

reply to @trini2debone

Carter Vaughn ✔ @vaughny

Yes. Like df.

reply to @vaughny

Shane Hollander ✔ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

🩵🩵 love you Carter!

 

Vaughny Marry Me @admiralsmylove

Excuse me??????? OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHH

J.J. Boiziau✔ @jjboiziau

A couple queers and a man that’s still trying to convince us he is straight.

[selfie of J.J., Shane, Carter, Svetlana and Zane.]

reply to @jjboiziau

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

Convince????????? Literally me – a ruler – straightest thing around. 📏

reply to @trini2debone

Svetlana @lana

There are rulers that can bend.

reply to @lana

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

Leave me aloneeeeeeeee bro 😭😭

reply to @trini2debone

Svetlana @lana

Also, your wife told me she believes you’re gay for Shane so…..

reply to @lana

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

To be fair, everyone is gay for Hollzy 🙄

reply to @trini2debone

J.J. Boiziau✔ @jjboiziau

Nah, that’s true

reply to @trini2debone

Carter Vaughn ✔ @vaughny

Facts

reply to @trini2debone

Shane Hollander ✔ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

How the hell did J.J. coming out meant everyone be gay for me??????? Also, no thanks.

 

Boodram’s Left Nipple @centaursluver

Wait… does this mean…. They’re both together or???

reply to @centaursluver

Zane Boodram ✔ @trini2debone

At this point my left nipple, who isn’t.

reply to @trini2debone

Shane Hollander ✔ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

Stop being ambiguous on twitter Bood. We got practice.

Chapter End Notes

- I cannot exactly remember which fic I read but they mentioned Pablo in it and I said yup, that’s what we need. For those who do not know the great Pablo Torre, he is a sports journalist that focuses on long form investigative pieces and has a podcast titled Pablo Torre Finds Out. If you’re into sports in any kinda of fashion, I would check it out. If not, he has some fun non sports episodes (he interviewed Maury once lol).
- As a basketball girlie I had to throw shade at the commissioners for the MNBA and WNBA, not sorry.
- I originally wanted J.J. to post the link to Back in Blood by Pooh Sheisty, but then they might actually call the feds on him and say it was a threat. Shabba Modda Pot was a great addition from Zane because true “long time me nuh kill a man.” And as my friend says “never is a long time.”
- THEY ARE FINALLY BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHH.
- Also, while they’ve never actually told their friends that they are boyfriends, they just started saying “my boyfriend” randomly and never proceeded to clarify. Everyone knows, they are just being facetious because it’s funny.
- One more chapter after this. Like woooooow. I can’t believe it. Thank you so much everyone that has read this little piece of my imagination. You’ve been the best.
- One more chapter means…. Roselana soon reach muahahahaha. So subscribe to series!
- Take care of yourself and have a beautiful weekend. Much love.

Translations
Я люблю тебя. Держи голову выше. - I love you. Keep your head up.
Ils veulent ma mort. - they want me dead.
Je t'aime. Je t'ai toujours aimé. Tu es un de mes meilleurs amis et maintenant, je veux être à toi. - I love you. I've always loved you. You're one of my best friends and now, I want to be yours.
Fuck mwen. Pa sispann - fuck me. Don’t stop.

Chapter 12: Se Ou Mwen Vie

Chapter Summary

Song Inspiration - Se Ou Mwen Vie by Michel Martelly.

Chapter Notes

- This is the final chapter, please read through all of it and the end notes.
- Translations at the end.

When J.J. got the phone call from his mother that she and his aunt were in town visiting a distant cousin, he felt his chest tighten. He had to admit, he was currently living in la-la-land; focusing on adjusting to the new city, plans for the summer, and spending as much time with Carter. Of course, the reaction of both coming out was severely mixed, but J.J. decided that this summer he was going to be tunnel visioned about his happiness. Any negative comments were outweighed in his mind by all the positive ones. They also didn’t officially announce their relationship to the public, but everyone knew at this point. J.J. liked it like that.  The court case was also moving, as the preliminary hearings were being held in the beginning of July. None of them had to be present, as Shane’s lawyer and Yuna did all the groundwork. He was just happy that something was being done and hoping that the league did not try to settle out of court.

So, yes, when his mother called and demanded that he meet her and his aunt for lunch – he started to spiral a bit. The perfect bubble he created with Carter and his friends quickly burst. The last serious conversation he had with her, left him feeling hallow and empty, fearing that he would lose his mother. But through long and emotional conversations with both Shane and Carter, he decided to take up her invitation. Carter also decided that he was joining them.

Fuck.

Now J.J. felt his hands get clammy as they sit in the booth that was situated in the back of a Haitian Restaurant in Flatbush, with a plate of fried goat and fried plantain in front of him as his mother and aunt eat their black rice with stew snapper. Carter took the safe choice of some wings with some mild sauce, because as much as he was there to support J.J., J.J. knew he was also extremely nervous.

“Se konsa.” Odette finally spoke up before taking a long sip of her lemonade. “This is the boyfriend?”

“Oui, manman.”

“Hmmm...”

“What’s the problem?” He asked. Carter gave him a tight smile, as he fixed his posture. Odette, and her sister Claudine both looked at Carter and then at J.J.

“I don’t like him.” She simply said to him in creole before going back to her food.  Before J.J. could respond to his mother’s criticism, his aunt jumped in.

“Like, your mother can come to terms with the gay thing. I don’t know why, but she can. However, just look at him. There is nothing good. I’ve read about him. Partying, drugs, all those bad stuff.”

“Matant Claudine.” J.J. firmly stated.

“No, your aunt is correct. That’s not a good influence Jean-Jacques. I don’t care that you’re in love or whatever, but this man will not lead you to righteousness.” His mother shrugged as she ate the flesh of the snapper and pulled out the bone. J.J. turned to Carter who had a pained expression across his face. He knew that Carter couldn’t translate the conversation word for word, but J.J. knew that Carter knew that his mother and aunt were talking bad about him. It hurt even more as he remembered Carter stating how much he liked meeting his mother when they first met when they were just friends. J.J., in attempt to not show is anger, or his sadness, pulled out his wallet, dropped two fifty-dollar bills and got up from his seat. Without saying a word to anyone else, he ushered for Carter to get up, where he took his hand and they walked out of the restaurant in silence. After walking a few block, J.J. leant against the wall of a building and finally let all the tension in his shoulders go. This also meant that the tears were flowing soon after, turning some a slight whimper into a full sob. Carter pulled him into a hug, rubbing circles into his back as he comforted him. J.J. couldn’t believe, no matter how much he tried, and push, his mother would not come around. And for the few times that she was starting to understand, his aunt would whisper in her ear, and all his heard work was gone. It was painful. A part of soul has rejected him and now he was in the middle of Brooklyn trying to figure things out. It felt like he had no mother.

“Baby, I’m sorry it didn’t go well.” Carter finally said as J.J. pulled back a little. J.J. nodded his head as Carter wiped away any lingering tears with the pad of his thumbs before kissing his lips softly.

“They said you weren’t good for. Bèl, that’s the dumbest thing someone has ever said to me, and I work with hockey players for a living.” He chuckled, as tears still filled his voice. Carter gave him a small smile before kissing his lips once more.

“Baby, people’s opinion about us doesn’t matter. Not now, not ever. We’re going to be okay. Let’s get home.”

“You’re drooling by the way.” Anita laughed as she walked up to Carter. Carter rolled his eyes at his mother’s teasing as he continued to look at what prompted her statement. They were currently back in North Dakota, watching J.J. learn how to clean a horse by one of their handlers. Not only did he look particularly good as he always did, but he was shirtless, and the suffocating summer heat had gotten to him.

And now Carter felt like he was in heat.

“But I will say, my son. You sure know how to choose them. That’s a handsome young man.” Anita snickered as she joined her son in eyeing his boyfriend.

“Mom, please.” Carter huffed, not being able to eye fuck his boyfriend in peace. J.J. finished brushing the horse, and then quickly made his way towards Carter and Anita. His brown body glistened under the sheen of sweat and the sun and Carter tried everything within him to not get hard.

The smirk and raised brow J.J. gave him proved his efforts to be futile.

“Bon journee Ms. Anita and bèl.” J.J. smiled.

“And he has an accent too. Carter, my baby.” Anita cooed as she softly hit his arm again.

“Mom, you keep embarrassing me.” Carter chuckled and he shook his head. He wasn’t even upset with his mother, because he understood where she was coming from. It had a major impact on him too.

“That’s my job as your mother baby.” She turned and pinched his cheek. He was a grown ass man, and his mother was pinching his cheeks in front of his boyfriend. He turned around to see J.J. watching them in amusement, while wiping off the sweat with his t-shirt.

“Ughh, if you say so.” He mumbled despite the bright smile on his face.

“Well, I am certain you two boys are hungry. Please go take a shower, as much as I adore the handsomeness of J.J., I do not need y’all stank asses in my house. Food will be ready when you’re done. Just, don’t take too long.”  

“Yes ma’am. We will be there shortly.” Carter smiled.

“Mhhhm…”

In the secondary house on the ranch, Carter found himself on his knees, licking the sweat on J.J.’s abs. Sure, they were just supposed to get in, shower, and head back to the main house for lunch. He was certain it was tasty, but his cravings right now were the salt slicked skin of his boyfriend. Man, he loved this man so much.

“Bèl, please, if we start, we will never make it to lunch.” J.J. groaned out. Carter paused in his worship and flutter his eyelashes.

“Baby.” He cooed out, pressing his head against J.J.’s clothed crotch. J.J. sighed as he ran his hands through Carter’s curls.

“How about this, we shower – quickly – go eat lunch, and then when we come back, I’ll press you so deep into the mattress you’ll become a part of it.” J.J. told him, before bending down to kiss his lips. Carter sighed at the content, agreeing with the measures. He was going to get that dick tonight.

Lunch with his mother was always a nice time. They were currently sitting around the island, eating the chicken and dumplings she cooked. It was delicious, as always. Delicious enough that J.J. had two bowls. It was also nice, because Carter felt that he could channel his inner messy boots and partake in the gossip his mother always provided.

“And that’s why now, Ashley is dating Thomas, despite having a child for his brother Tobias.” Anita shook her head as she finished telling the tale on how Ashley went from dating the twin’s cousin, to Tobias and now to Thomas.

“Ms. Anita, what does that mean for Marge? Didn’t you say she was also with Thomas?” Carter snorted at J.J.’s question, amused that his boyfriend was so involved in the conversation. It made happy. He knew J.J. was longing for some sort of maternal interaction after the last time they saw his mother. Sure, he still spoke with her here and then, but it was more for formalities and less than a son checking up on his mother. It hurt his heart every time he thought about it. So being in this situation right now, there was no way his day could go bad.

“Good afternoon, everyone.” His father’s, Patrick, voice echoed through the house. The trio responses with their series of greetings as J.J. gave Carter a concerned look.

Okay, so maybe his day could shift a bit.  Since he came out, his father has been particularly distant. He didn’t explicitly state that he was disappointed or couldn’t support his son and his boyfriend. Especially not when his mother and his aunts on where on a large group call excited for him and trying to decipher who back he was kissing in the picture that he posted. But things have felt weird. Since he came home, his father has found a way to spend more time on base, not be around where he was. They’ve also spoken a total of five times since he has been home. It was a lot, but he wasn’t going to let it dictate his vacation.

“Patrick, honey, there is chicken and dumplings in the pot on the stove, if you’re hungry.” Anita chimed in before finishing her bowl. Patrick nodded his head as he walked around the island and kissed her forehead before looking at the pots.

“So, what did you two young men did today?” He finally asked, turning to face them with a thin-lipped smile.

“Umm, Colonel, we were out with the horses today and I learnt how to clean them.” J.J. chimed in quickly. Carter watched him with a small smile as he played with the little of the food left in bowl.

“Good, glad to see there is still some form of manliness in this house.” Patrick stated with a small huff.

“Patrick.”

“Colonel.”

“What?”

“What is really the problem Colonel? You’ve been avoiding me since I got home and I genuinely do not appreciate that. If you have a problem with me and boyfriend, at least say so and not acting all fucking weird man. It’s annoying.” Carter ranted with a deep sigh. Patrick stared at his son and then to J.J., trying to compute the audacity he just witnessed in front of him.

‘Son-”

“No, Patrick, Carter is correct. You’ve been acting weird.” Anita looked at her husband with a stern look. Patrick left out a huff as he looked at his wife and his son and shook his head.

“I’m heading back to base.” He mumbled before walking out of the kitchen. As soon as the front door closed shut, the tension in the room broke. Carter plate his hands in his face, taking deep breathes. Loving someone shouldn’t be this hard.

“I’m sorry Carter. I really don’t know what has gotten to your father, but trust me, I will fix this. He will not act like this to my son and the love of his life.” Anita shook her head as she took the empty bowls from them. “This is the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time, and Patrick just have to accept that.”  

J.J. leaned towards him and kissed him on his forehead.
“Bèl, I love you and I got you. Okay. All will be fine.”

4 Your (Colored) Eyez Only

Capitaine🏒: everyone ready to report for camp in a couple days?

Cassie’s Mari: Yes sir. Spending some time at the lake with the wifey and my child.

Cassie’s Mari: look how cute we are?

Cassie’s Mari: [sends family picture on the beach]

Princesse Russe👑: 🥹 everyone is so adorable. I love this Bood.

Capitaine🏒: So beautiful!

Capitaine🏒: this is the current situation at the cottage.

Capitaine🏒: [sends selfie on him laying on Ilya’s chest and Anya on his lap]

Princesse Russe👑: Awwww. My familyyyyy

Princesse Russe👑: [sends picture of Rose sitting across from her at a café]

Princesse Russe👑: 🤭

Princesse Russe👑: #singlenomore

Boodram: YESSSII.

Boodram: Look at yuh!

Capitaine🏒: Oh that’s why Rose had an emergency meeting Boston. Hmmmm

Capitaine🏒: I know what you are Rose Landry!

Princesse Russe👑: 😉

Princesse Russe👑: She said you can’t call her gay as the captain gay.

Cassie’s Mari: 😂

Capitaine🏒: whatever.

J.J.: Amis! Excited for camp. Everyone is cute.

“Bèl, look at all these cute pictures everyone is sending.” J.J. mumbled to Vaughny as he showed him the family picture Zane sent to the chat. They were currently under the covers after another heated session, limbs tangled up with each other.

“Oh, they are so adorable.” Carter whispered as he looked intently at the picture. J.J. basked at his glow, giving him a soft kiss on his forehead.

“You think I can get you pregnant?” J.J. asked with a big grin across his face. Carter quickly turned to his head to face him – squinting his eyes.

“Do you,” carter paused, with the emphasis on you, “think I can get you pregnant?” J.J. erupted into a deep laughter, before peppering Carter’s face with kisses.

“There is only one way to find out, bèl.” J.J. smiled before placing a dramatic smack against Carter’s lips. Carter let out a small giggle, as his face quickly blushed, and picked up his phone from the table. “Wait, let’s at least send a picture.”

J.J. pouted as he ran his hands down Carter’s back. “But Bèl.”

“Picture first, baby.” Carter giggled. J.J. groaned as he tucked his face into Carter’s neck. He eventually looked into the camera as Carter rapidly took a series of selfies. J.J. smiled as Carter chose what he considered the perfect picture, sent it to the group chat and put his phone back on the dresser.

Bèl🌅: [sends picture of Carter with a big smile and J.J. kissing his neck].

Capitaine🏒:  So are we finally acknowledging that you two are boyfriends and that y’all are at that ranch fucking?

Princesse Russe👑: mhhhm. I should cuss y’all out.

Cassie’s Mari: imagine everyone knew y’all together but we had to all pretend nothing was going on…. foolishness

Capitaine🏒: is this a soft launch?

Cassie’s Mari: there is nothing soft about that picture Hollzy. Those men are hard!

Princesse Russe👑: 

[incoming call, Princesse Russe, Cassie’s Mari, Capitaine🏒]

Princesse Russe 👑: Carter Elijah Vaughn and Jean-Jacques Boiziau, pick up the damn phone.

J.J. was hovering Cater, kissing down his neck once both of their phones started to ring. He let out an annoyed groan as he looked over to see it was from the group chat. Sucking his teeth loudly, he declined the call on both phones and turned back to Carter.

“What if it was important?” Carter asked, with amusement and lust dancing through his brown eyes. J.J. rolled his eyes before kissing all over his face again.

“They just want to yell at us. They can do that later.” He chuckled before looking at Carter with a big grin. Carter sighed contently, angling his head up to kiss J.J.’s lips.

“I love you so much, baby.”

“Bèl, tu es l’homme dont j’ai besoin.”

THE END

Mec, j’ai besoin

written by yamheadashcoops

“But I’ll let m guard down for you.

Said I’ll put my guard down for you.

Said I’ll be vulnerable

So you can break my heart if you want to.”

✧Mutt – Leon Thomas✧

“All up in my conscience

I don’t want another touch

Without you there

If I’m being honest, I’m falling in love”

✧Taste – Coco Jones✧

“I won’t fall back

If I fall forwards

At least I have that

At least I have that”

✧Baby Steps – Olivia Dean✧

“Se pa sèl nou menm sa rive

Se pa sèl nou ki konn fache

Problem yo tout kote

Padi ke se sèl nan nou menm li ye”

✧Pasyans Ave’m – Oswald✧

“Kite konpa a mache

Men se nou menm ki rive

Chak swa nou frape

Lè n'ap jwe se konsa moun yo mande n

Se konsa nou ye”

✧I Don’t Care – Michel Martelly ✧

“I say baby you’re so fine

Let’s burn up this place tonight”

✧Fire – Patrick Grayham✧

“We're the only ones invited

Say there's no one else for you

'Cause you know I get excited, yeah

When you get jealous, too.” 

✧Jealous – Nick Jonas✧

“Baby it’s you

My one and only

Baby it’s you

Baby, you’re the man of my dreams.”

✧It’s You – Tamillia✧

“Nan dòmi m ap chèchew (mwеn chèchew)

Menm je klè m pa wè w (ou ale)

O ou s on lago kache ki met

tout vi mwen tèt anba”

✧Lanmou Fansil – Vayb✧

“You never see it coming

Then the next thing you know

Unconditional love

Unconditional love”

✧Unconditional Love – Jah Cure✧

“What kind of spell did you put on me?

Ayy, main squeeze, stay focused

Don't get complacent with me, no, please”

✧Why Not More – Coco Jones ft YG Marley✧

Se Ou Mwen Vie

If you are my life

✧Micheal Martelly ✧

October 2022

Madison Square Garden

MHL Opening Night

New York Admirals vs Ottawa Centaurs

“It’s opening night for the Major Hockey League, and man, don’t we have a good one for you tonight. Live from Madison Square Garden we are kicking off the season with the New York Admirals against your 2022 Stanley Cup winners, the Ottawa Centaurs.”

“It’s a special time for all hockey fans to watch these greats take the ice at the same time. This opening night is also extremely important for the Admirals, as their Captain – Scott Hunter has announced that this is his last season.”

“Scott has not only brough the Admirals their lone cup in the 21^st Century but is also the first player in the league to come out a gay, paving away for many other queer players.”

“Hunter is not alone on the ice. The moniker ‘First Husbands of Hockey’ Shane Hollander and Captain Ilya Rozanov of the Centaurs, alongside the Admirals’ A Carter Vaughn, and recent acquisition last season, J.J. Boiziau are also on the ice. Some has coined this match the battle of the couples.”

“Couples or not, this has been deemed as one hell of a match up. If we look into the keys to the game brought to you by Allstate….”

 

“What’s the dinner plan for after we embarrass you on your home ice?” Zane asked as he skated up to J.J. and Carter who were working on their pre-game drills.

“You mean, after we embarrass you?” Carter chirped back with a snort.

“Please, not embarrassing.” Shane complained as he skated up to the group.

“No, we are just talking about how we are going to beat y’all asses and then have a nice dinner after.” J.J. smiled, as he stood up straight on his skates. Shane and Zane both rolled their eyes. “But dinner is at this new restaurant I opened with a chef friend here. On me.  Also, Roz is tormenting Hunter right now.”

The four men turned their heads to see Ilya rambling off ever dinosaur joke he could’ve thought of. Shane sighed and then looked back at his friends.

“I’m going to put a pause to that right now. Puck drop in 15 minutes. Better show up.”

Mec, j’ai besoin

Man I Need

Inspired by Olivia Dean

Featuring

Jean- Jacques Boiziau

Looks like we’re making up for lost time

Carter Vaughn

Need you to spell it out for me

Shane Hollander

Bossa nova on all night

Zane Boodram

It’s like a type of alchemy

Svetlana Vetrova

Introduce me to your best friend

Ilya Rozanov

I can some and slot right in

Kip Grady

A satellite ain’t never that far

Scott Hunter

I, I kinda wonder where you are

Tell me you got something to give, I want it

I kinda like it when you call me "Wonderful"

Whatever the type of talk it is, come on then

I gotta know you're meant to be the man I need

Talk to me, talk to me

Mec, jai besoin

The Playlist

1. Mutt – Leon Thomas
2. Taste – Coco Jones
3. Baby Steps – Olivia Dean
4. Pasyans ave’m – Oswald
5. I Don’t Care – Michel Martelly
6. Fire – Patrick Grayham
7. Jealous – Nick Jonas
8. It’s You – Tamillia
9. Lanmou fasil – Vayb
10. Unconditional Love – Jah Cure
11. Why Not More? – Coco Jones ft YG Marley
12. Se Ou Mwen Vie – Michel Martelly
13. Man I Need – Olivia Dean

Fin.

Chapter End Notes

- Firstly, I want to thank you to VanGohingToSleep for solidifying this idea in my mind. It has been such a fun time writing this story.
- Thank you to everyone who has read this story. It means so much for me that you’ve enjoyed this fic.
- I believed that this was a great writing exercise for me. As we know, hockey is white sport and our players (even the fictional one) of color need support and love and fun!
- I know the parts with both of their parents are unresolved. I wanted to have this big come around for J.J.’s mother, but I also wanted to be a little more realistic for myself. That shit wasn’t going to happen quickly and Carter as the party boy wasn’t fitting Odette’s standards.
- Patrick just being a hardass and struggling to understand his son (as we see their relationship is a little impersonal).
- As this story comes to a close, means a new one will be here soon. So subscribe, subscribe to series because the roselana fic is next!
- Love you, thanks for reading once again and I am looking forward to your comments!

Translations
Se konsa - so
Tu es l’homme dont j’ai besoin - you are the man I need.