Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:

Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid

Relationship:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Characters:

Zane Boodram, Evan Dykstra, Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov

Additional Tags:

Zane Boodram POV, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, The centaurs are the best fucking team in the nhl, Relationship Reveal, Zane Boodram is a good teammate, Evan Dykstra is a good teammate, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Ottawa Centaurs Group Chat (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs WAGs Group Chat (Game Changers), WAG Shane Hollander

Language:

English

Series:

Part 2 of Crashing 'Verse

Stats:

Published: 2026-02-02 Completed: 2026-02-10 Words: 11,001 Chapters: 3/3

Ilya Rozanov's Honest-to-God Motherfucking Boyfriend

Summary

So now they were heading to see Roz. Bood couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t pulled the A card for this hospital trip mostly to get to come and see Roz. No, not just Roz. Roz and his boyfriend. Roz and the honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend that none of them had known that he’d had. Roz and the boyfriend he all but definitely moved to Ottawa for. Bood was over the fucking moon. There was no way in hell Rozanov was ever missing another barbecue.

 

A short sequel of sorts to 'Crashing' in which Bood and Dykstra make a trip to the hospital the day after Shane drives down to be with Ilya after the plane crash. Revelations, tenderness, and humour ensue.

Notes

This work is a direct follow on from my other Shane/Ilya fic 'Crashing'. It's not required reading, but a lot of the context for what is happening here is in that story.

Otherwise the cliffsnotes are: the Centaurs' plane crash went a little worse. Shane drove down to Tampa. Ilya told the team his boyfriend had come to see him, but not who it was. Enter: this fic.

Chapter 1

Zane Boodram had had a hell of a couple of days.

The team was still in Tampa after the crash. All in all, they’d been pretty fucking lucky. Most of them had walked away with nothing worse than whiplash, some heavy-duty bruising, and some mild concussions. And of that group, most of them had just been triaged on site, only a few of them making the trip to the hospital for shock symptoms or light monitoring. But considering that two pilots were dead and four teammates were dealing with critical injuries, Bood thanked every fucking lucky star he could that the worst he’d be recovering from was a sore-as-shit neck and a fucked up sleep schedule.

Sleep hadn’t come easy to any of them, though. Not with Roz, Chouinard, LaPointe, and Young all still in the hospital, and memories of the crash still fresh. And so, even with families back in Canada and a bone-deep longing to never set foot in Florida again, none of them had been particularly keen to head home and leave any team members behind.

It did kill Bood, more than he cared to think about, to still be here in Florida while both Cassie and the kid he almost hadn’t stuck around long enough to even get to meet were back in Ottawa. He was gonna get home, and hug her so fucking hard, and then lie down in their bed with his head on her stomach and feel their kid kick him in the ear as many times as it wanted to. He was gonna be the best fucking dad in the entire goddamn world because for a few heart-stopping minutes just over a day ago he really thought he wasn’t going to get to be one at all.

And now, he was stuck here, in fucking Tampa. Itching to get back to his family and also knowing that he could never leave any of his boys behind.

But all four of their injured boys were stable now. Roz’s boyfriend — Roz’s honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend — had shown up at some point yesterday. Selena’s flight had gotten in this morning, and she’d been in with Chouinard when Bood and Dykstra had dropped by his room a few minutes ago. Young was getting discharged later today, and LaPointe’s parents were apparently getting in later this afternoon. So, his boys were taken care of, they would all be okay.

Wiebe had told them all to book flights, get themselves the hell home to their families, when he’d joined the team for dinner last night at the hotel. There’d been some good-natured laughs about it, and then he’d threatened to give them all two days to get gone or he’d personally have them deported. Bood’s flight was early that afternoon. Quite a few of the guys were on the same one. But they hadn’t wanted to ditch, any of them, without saying goodbye to the boys in the hospital.

Holmberg was staying another night in Florida to fly home with Young after he was discharged. So there was slightly less guilt on that front. And they hadn’t wanted to overwhelm anyone by having a whole hockey team flood the hospital before their flight. So, Bood, as the A, and Dykstra, who by general consensus was agreed to be the one who would best lift everyone’s spirits, were here to do the rounds.

They’d stopped into Young’s room first. Just a quick hello, a ‘how are you doing kid?’, a few bad jokes from D. Young had got off relatively easy — they all had, considering — but easy compared to the other three. A broken collar bone, a fractured arm, and a pretty gnarly case of whiplash. He’d been kept overnight because they’d been worried about concussion, and about something on the x-ray of his neck that they thought might be a fracture but turned out was nothing. But he was all clear now, and all too fucking ready to be out of Florida.

LaPointe was rougher. He’d been on top of the engine, had wound up with some pretty nasty burns on his left side when they crashed. They’d had to cut his skin open so it didn’t constrict the blood flow to his arm. LaPointe had sent them all photos — weirdly excited by the grossness of the whole thing — and Bood was pretty sure they’d made Haasy hurl. Dykstra too, though he wouldn’t admit it. But he had looked particularly green when they’d been in visiting the kid. LaPointe was stable now. But it sounded like he was in for a pretty long and complicated recovery, and the doctors wanted him in hospital for a few more days before they let him fly anywhere. No one had wanted to mention when, or if, he’d be back playing hockey.

Chouinard had been asleep when they’d gone in to see him. He’d caught some debris to the side. It had punctured, not too deep and it hadn’t hit any major organs, but the blood loss had been pretty scary. He’d stayed conscious for the whole time they were waiting on the plane. Which meant the paramedics had moved Roz first. Hazy had been the one with Nick, putting pressure on the wound with his hoodie and a belt, keeping him joking until the paramedics had come back a few moments later to get him out. He’d still looked pale when they’d visited. But Selena had looked calm, unworried, had said he’d been up and laughing with her when she’d got in early that morning. She’d text them if he woke up before they left the hospital.

So now they were heading to Roz. Bood couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t pulled the A card for this hospital trip mostly to get to come and see Roz. No, not just Roz. Roz and his boyfriend. Roz and the honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend that none of them had known that he’d had. Roz and the boyfriend he all but definitely moved to Ottawa for. Bood was over the fucking moon. There was no way in hell Rozanov was ever missing another barbecue.

“My money’s still on adrenaline junkie,” D leaned in to whisper to him, grinning slyly, as they made their way down the hospital corridor. “I’m talking skydiving, base jumping, maybe even one of those crazy assholes that solos giant rocks and mountainsides and shit.”

Bood shook his head. “You’re delusional. You’re off the fucking planet, D. You and I both know he’s gonna be some party-animal with game so good that Roz threw away the whole lifestyle. I’m talking some Troye Sivan motherfucker. Y’know: looks like an elf from lord of the rings, dances like a stripper, has Roz absolutely goddamn wrapped around his little finger. Totally whipped.”

There was a strange look from a nurse that passed by them. Bood shrugged it off. He knew he was right about this.

“Who’s Troye Sivan?”

Bood raised his eyebrows. “Singer. Australian. Used to be on Youtube. Makes great fucking music. Cassie and I are really into him. I’ll shoot you a Spotify playlist. But, like. Hot. And Cassie says he’s a twink. Which, isn’t that a thing? Don’t the big, strong, gay guys — or bi, I guess, for Roz — like the twinks?”

D laughed. “That’s fucking homophobic, bro.”

“What, no it isn’t,” Bood spluttered. “It’s fucking, gay culture. You’re homophobic if you don’t think Roz would be into twinks.”

“What I don’t think he’s into is some club-obsessed party-demon,” D said, rolling his eyes. “He left that life behind for whatever guy he came to Ottawa to be with. Which is why I think adrenaline junkie. There’s way more of that shit in Ontario than the crazy nightclub scene you’re convinced his guy’s into.”

“You just want someone else to go ice-fishing with,” Bood said, smirking, as they turned the corner to Roz’s corridor. They’d stopped to get coffees in the ward’s common area after seeing Chouinard, and the styrofoam was still just the wrong side of too hot in his hand. He took an exaggerated sip of his scalding drink to help make his point. It only burned his tongue a little bit. Worth it.

“Hey, a guy can dream,” Dykstra laughed, holding up his hands in surrender and nearly spilling his own coffee down his front. Though, the t-shirt he was wearing was camo, fucking camo, so Bood honestly thought the coffee might have improved it.

They’d all been speculating about the honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend last night, after Wiebe had left the hotel dinner. They’d tried to get details out of their coach: what was his name? what was he like? how long had they been together? But Wiebe had stonewalled them at every turn. And so after he, and a few of the other guys, had drifted off, the few of them left around the table had placed bets.

Fifty-dollar ante. Bood was pretty fucking keen to win. 

Bood thought the boyfriend was a party-animal. That he and Roz had met in a club when Roz had been over in Canada playing and that the dick had been so incredible that it had Roz on lock. And, also that they loved each other. But Bood knew Roz's history, and he was fairly sure that whoever had managed to snag Roz into monogamy had to have game. Like, fucking game. 

Dykstra thought he was an adrenaline junkie. But Dykstra had an ulterior motive. And was also a fucking idiot. So, Bood didn’t think he was anywhere near close.

Dillon had his money on a free spirit. Fun-loving, free-wheeling, probably owned a van that he lived out of half the year. That that was where Roz disappeared to every summer. Off on road trips where they recycled their water and hiked every mountain they could find. D would be over the moon for that one as well. Bood prayed Dillon was wrong, they really didn’t need D’s outdoorsmanship turned up any higher than it already was. 

Harris had thought that Bood’s guess was, in all likelihood, pretty close to the truth. But thought it was probably far more romantic than that. Because it was Roz. And Roz was really just a giant fucking softy at the end of the day. Bood had not felt at all justified that the one gay guy in the room had thought he was right. Not at all. Not even a little.

Holmberg thought it was someone famous, like a movie star or some shit. That that was why Roz had kept it on lock for so long. Bood had to admit he’d been a little swept away by the intrigue and scandal of the idea. But, honestly, he kind of hoped it wasn’t true. Roz deserved something simpler than that. He’d seen Barrett flinch when Holmberg had put the idea forward, and thought the kid must have agreed with him. Barrett was smart like that.

Barrett himself hadn’t really bet properly. Neither had Hazy. When it had got round to their part of the table, Barrett had just said he hoped the guy made Roz happy. Cop out. And Hazy had laughed, agreed, and said he also hoped the guy liked Marvel movies. Double cop out, because, really, who fucking didn’t? Maybe not everyone was on Hayes’ level, but Bood fucked with Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. was a fucking legend. And there were a lot of hot people in those movies, too, goddamn.

It had felt a little frivolous, though. A little in bad taste. Sitting there drinking beer and speculating wildly about Roz’s love life. But it had been a rough twenty-four hours. And they were all sitting heavily with the memorial post the team had made about the pilots. And Bood, as the A, had thought that they’d all deserved it. Deserved just a little bit of time to put that all behind them and just be a fucking team for a night.

Hazy had cornered him afterwards, after speculations, and one too many drinks, and agreements that Bood and D would make the rounds tomorrow. He had pulled Bood aside and put a hand on his shoulder and had said that maybe they should make sure Roz was actually ready for anyone to meet his boyfriend before they went barging in. Bood had laughed, and shrugged it off, and said if Roz’s boyfriend had flown all the way down to Tampa that he had to be ready for the team to start sticking their noses in. He could admit now that he had had a few too many beers in him to really take Hayes’ point last night. But he’d remembered Hayes texting someone intently as he had walked away, and then he had stopped Bood this morning to tell him Roz was cool before they left for the hospital. And so Bood was here, at just past ten in the morning, bursting with goddamn excitement to finally meet the guy that had locked down Ilya motherfucking Rozanov.

“Hey,” he said, voice low, as he held an arm out to stop Dykstra next to him before they reached Roz’s room. “I’m pretty sure Roz is cool with us meeting his guy, but we should still keep it fucking respectful. There’s obviously… Roz obviously felt like he had to hide this. And I get where he’s coming from, ‘cause I can’t imagine the kind of homophobic bullshit he’s heard in locker rooms throughout the years. Not to mention the whole fucking Russia thing.”

Dykstra was looking at him seriously, no sign of the humour from moments ago. Vaguely, Bood was aware they were two six-foot-something, large men who had stopped in the middle of a hospital corridor. But no one was moving towards them right now, and he wanted to make sure that he and D were on the same page before they went in.

“I just,” Bood sighed, “I think we treat Roz the same as we always fucking have. But maybe, we go gentle on his guy. Try not to be complete fucking brick-head hockey players for once in our lives, you know. Let him see we’re cool about this. That they’re both welcome. Cassie’s already itching to get this guy onto the WAGs group chat… though, I guess we can’t call it that anymore. There’s gotta be an acronym for that that includes dudes right? What do they call it in women’s sport?”

“Still WAGs,” D said, some of his smirk creeping back in.

Bood chuckled, rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Fair fucking point.”

“I’m good, by the way,” D said, nodding at Bood with a smile. “Far as I’m concerned Roz’s guy is already part of the team. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Good,” Bood grinned. “My fucking thoughts exactly.”

They turned and walked the last few steps to Roz’s room. From inside they could hear gentle muffled voices, laughter. Definitely Roz’s. Bood felt his smile growing wider. If this guy could get Roz laughing while he was stuck in a hospital bed with a god awful concussion and broken ribs, he was already okay in Bood’s book. A quick look at D next to him told him that he felt the same.

Bood took a breath and knocked.

Holy fucking shit, they were about to meet Ilya Rozanov’s honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend.

“Come in,” a voice — not Roz’s — called, muffled, from behind the door.

Holy fucking shit, Bood recognised that voice.

He didn’t know from where, and glancing at Dykstra he didn’t think that he had caught it. But Bood could swear he knew the voice calling from inside the room. Did he know Roz’s boyfriend already? How the hell would he know Roz’s boyfriend already?

“Bro?” D was looking at where Bood’s hand was still on the door handle.

Bood flushed slightly as he cleared his throat and opened the door.

Oh. Oh shit.

He stopped in place two steps into the room and felt Dykstra draw up close behind him, almost slamming into his back.

“Oh fuck. Hollander,” D said from behind him, voice laced with confusion. “When did you get here?”

The room was uncomfortably still. The awkwardness rippled through the air palpably. Bood could feel it crawling over his skin, fizzing out to his left where Roz was sat up in his bed, still looking battered and bruised, and Hollander — Shane motherfucking Hollander, holy shit — was sat relaxing in the chair next to him. They were holding hands. Oh god they were holding hands. Bood really didn’t know what to do with that information.

Dykstra, on the other hand, hadn’t seemed to have noticed any of it.

“Did you fly in?” he asked, blissfully unaware of the universe-shattering revelation sitting right in front of him, holding Ilya Rozanov’s fucking hand. “Are the Voyageurs playing somewhere this far down?”

“No,” Hollander said. “They were in Detroit last night.”

“Oh,” Dykstra breathed, still, somehow, incredibly, not putting the goddamn pieces together.

Bood would have a bit more sympathy for him, for exactly how fucking wild jumping to this conclusion was, if it wasn’t for the fact that Hollander being Roz’s honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend was clearly painted across every corner of this hospital room.

There was an armchair by the window that had been folded out into a bed, clearly slept in last night, with a Montreal Voyageurs bag and some expensive looking Reeboks sitting next to it. There was some kind of non-fictional hockey book sitting on the windowsill, something Bood knew Roz wouldn’t be caught dead reading, and a pair of glasses Bood knew Roz didn’t own sat on top of it. In the far corner from where he was standing, the door to Roz’s bathroom was propped open and Bood could see a toiletry bag that didn’t look like anything Roz would ever own sat down by the sink, and a towel with a Voyageurs logo draped over the towel rack. And Shane Hollander was sitting at Roz’s bedside, in a crumpled t-shirt and sweats, nothing but socks on his feet, hair ruffled in a lazy mess and still looking a little damp at its ends.

Shane Hollander had slept in this hospital room. Shane Hollander had slept in this hospital room because he had been here last night. Shane Hollander had slept in this hospital room because he had been here last night instead of playing in Detroit with his team. Shane Hollander had slept in this hospital room because he had been here last night instead of playing in Detroit with his team which he was the fucking captain of, because their captain, Ilya fucking Rozanov, had been in a plane crash.

Bood needed to sit down.

There was a free chair on the other side of the bed to Hollander. He sank down into it.

“Cool,” he heard D saying, in response to whatever it was that Hollander had said.

Bood wasn’t sure he was even really physically in this room anymore. In the bed, Roz was watching them all with a look that, even through the dark bruising across his eye sockets, was entirely too self-satisfied. And just a little bit wary.

"How are you, Roz?" Bood asked, trying to cut through some of the tension now sitting heavy in the room.

"Good. Sore. Bored," Roz grunted with a shrug. "Hollander has been keeping me company."

He said it with a shake of their joined hands and a meaningful raise of his eyebrows. The wariness in his expression was still sitting just behind his eyes. Hollander was also still stiff beside him. Bood was trying his best to say with his body language, with a gentle smile, that he was okay with this. That they could relax. But Dykstra's stubborn and blissful ignorance was somewhat undercutting Bood's efforts. How the man was observant enough to hunt, Bood would never know.

“So, Hollander,” D interjected, “have you met Roz’s boyfriend?”

Jesus Christ, Dykstra.

“Uhh…”

Shane Hollander — Shane motherfucking Hollander, best goddamn player in the NHL (sorry, Roz) — was blushing and ducking his head like a school girl across from him. Bood was having a hard time believing this was his life. He reached over from where he was sat in his chair and smacked Dykstra in the arm.

“Bro, what the fuck?” D grumbled, as Bood’s hit had almost made him spill his coffee again.

Bood just raised his eyebrows. Looked from Dykstra to where Hollander was still refusing to make eye contact with anyone to their captain’s hand still held tightly in Hollander’s on the bed.

“What?” D asked.

“Dude!” Bood groaned. “You can’t be fucking serious.”

From over Bood’s shoulder in the bed, Roz’s wary expression finally broke into a wide, delighted grin. He started laughing.

“Jesus Christ,” Bood heard Hollander mumble quietly down into his lap. Bood couldn’t help but wholeheartedly agree.

“Oh!” Dykstra gasped, eyes widening and finally settling on where their captain and his arch rival had their fingers laced together, where Ilya Rozanov’s thumb was gently caressing the back of Shane Hollander’s hand. “Oh, fuck. Well no one fucking guessed that!”

Bood laughed then, joining in with Rozanov’s continued snickering. From across the bed Bood could see that Hollander had also cracked a smile, even if it did still seem a little pained. Shane fucking Hollander. Unbelievable.

As they kept giggling, Dykstra joining in as well as he finally pulled up a chair and sat down by Roz’s feet, a thought struck him. Bood took a few deep breaths and settled down his laughter.

“Don’t you have like five broken ribs, Roz?” he asked, frowning in concern. “How the hell are you not dying right now?”

Roz was still snickering, eyes bright and mirthful. Bood caught Hollander shaking his head in his periphery.

“Rozanov may have undersold how much pain he was in yesterday for no good reason—”

“Uh, no, Hollander,” Roz interrupted through his giggles. “Was very good reason. Wanted to talk to my beautiful boyfriend without drugs in the way.”

Hollander rolled his eyes, but Bood could tell he was charmed by Roz's shameless flirting. “Well,” he said. “It means that he woke up in a hell of a lot of pain today, and so they have him on some stronger stuff.” Hollander turned his head to look both Bood and Dykstra in the eye. “Good luck,” he said with a sigh.

Bood could suddenly see it. Hollander and Rozanov. Was suddenly reminded of just how long these two had known each other, of just how long they had been circling in each other’s orbits. It really didn’t seem that farfetched at all. Was making more and more sense by the second. Still, some answers would be great.

“So,” D said, clearly on the same wavelength as Bood. “You and Roz?”

Hollander chuckled, ducking his head for a moment again. Roz was looking at him entirely too fondly. God, Roz was in love with him. Sickeningly, disgustingly, in love with Shane Hollander.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Hollander groaned, looking up at Roz with an expression that said that he was sickeningly, disgustingly, in love with Roz right back.

“Don’t lie to them, Hollander,” Roz crooned, “you love me.”

“Unfortunately, yes to that as well,” Hollander smiled. 

Now that Roz knew he and Dykstra were cool, his drugged up giddiness and his clear adoration for Hollander were both spilling out of him much more freely. Like he'd been keeping a purposeful lid on it before, and now the pot was boiling over. It was absolutely, tooth-achingly, gross. Bood was loving every second.

“So when did this start?” Bood asked, darting in before the conversation could move anywhere else. He’d been planning to get answers about this whether or not Roz’s honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend had turned out to be Shane Hollander, and he wasn’t letting the best player in the NHL (sorry, Roz) derail him now.

“Umm,” Hollander said, sharing a look with Roz that seemed slightly too long for the question asked, “we’ve been serious since summer 2017. So, about three-and-a-half years.”

Bood could feel his eyebrows raise without his permission as Roz nodded, agreeing with Hollander’s answer. He was also sure his jaw had gone a little slack. He looked to the end of the bed to see that Dykstra wasn’t fairing much better.

Something about Hollander’s phrasing tickled in the back of his mind. It itched there for another moment before Bood finally managed to catch it.

“Wait, you said you’ve been serious since 2017. How long were you not serious?”

D perked up at that. And Bood watched as Roz and Hollander shared another long look. Hollander was frowning, shaking his head almost imperceptibly at Roz, whose mouth had begun to tick up into a grin that Bood and D had long since learned meant trouble.

Oh god, how long had they been not serious? Five years? More?

“Wait, how long?” D asked the question again, eyes locked onto Hollander and Roz as fiercely as Bood’s were.

“A while.”

“Summer before rookie season.”

Hollander and Roz both spoke at once, but Bood barely registered Hollander’s words. Because the phrase ‘summer before rookie season’ was now dancing around Bood’s head in Ilya Rozanov’s smug, self-satisfied tone and was breaking Bood’s brain along the way.

“Ilya!” Hollander chided.

“What? Is accurate,” Roz shrugged, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, revelling in the chaos.

“Jesus,” Bood groaned, as the sheer absurdity of this conversation crashed down around him. How was this his fucking life? And, also, ten fucking years? ... Although, something about that didn't quite add up. “Wait, why the fuck did it take you so long to lock that down, Hollander? Our boy wasn’t good enough for you?”

From either side of him, Bood heard Roz and Dykstra once again burst into laughter. It buoyed him that the room was so full of joy. That Roz was comfortable enough — although the drugs probably weren’t hurting — to still be Roz with them after handing them this part of himself. And Hollander, even though he was clearly carrying more tension than Roz — drugs or not — had let his guard down here, too.

Bood watched Hollander’s expression break into a grin in spite of itself. And this time Hollander didn’t duck his head down to hide it. Bood smiled back.

“Yes, Shane,” he heard Roz say, voice dripping with mirth. “Why did it take you so long? I am a real catch. Boyfriend material. You are lucky nobody else beat you to it.”

“You’re a fucking menace, is what you are,” Hollander said, rolling his eyes. “All of you.”

D just laughed harder. Bood shrugged, grinning, and took a sip of his coffee. Finally at a drinkable temperature. There was a loud crack from Dykstra’s pocket as his fucking gun-shot text-tone went off.

Hollander jumped a little in his chair, and Roz laughed at him. Bood sighed.

“Really? You didn’t want to silence that while we’re in the fucking hospital?” he asked, kicking D in the foot.

“Sorry,” D grimaced, pulling out his phone to switch it onto silent. “Oh, it’s Caitlin.” His eyes flicked up to Hollander, gleefully. “She’s asking about the WAGs thing, with Hollander.”

Hollander frowned, face going charmingly slack. “What WAGs thing? Should I know about a WAGs thing?” he asked, turning to Roz.

D chuckled, and Bood took pity. “Our wives want to put you in the WAGs chat,” he said, watching as Hollander’s eyes bugged out wide as he processed the information. “Of course, they don’t know it’s you right now. So I imagine they’re going to get much more fucking insistent once they do.”

Roz pulled on Hollander’s hand, looking far too delighted. “Yes,” he said. “Shane says yes. Yes absolutely. He will join the WAGs chat. I give you his number, you add him now, yes?”

Bood could see that Hollander was rolling his eyes affably at Roz, but there also seemed to be a hesitation there. An uncertainty in the hunch of Hollander’s shoulders.

“You don’t have to,” Bood assured him, trying to smile as casually as he could. “Now, or ever, really. But, this team is family, you know. Which means even if they don’t know who you are yet, our wives will be trying to adopt you. You don’t have to let ‘em, but the offer’s always open. Anytime.”

D was nodding along with him. “Absolutely, bro. You’re a Centaur now, even if you’re still technically a fucking Voyageur.”

Roz was looking across at them both as they spoke, a soft smile on his face. Even slightly high on painkillers, Rozanov still had that gooey centre.

“We are still keeping this very private,” he said after a long moment, offering the explanation as he squeezed Hollander’s hand. Hollander squeezed back. “We think, we come out soon. Maybe end of the season.”

“It’s really fucking hard,” Hollander picked up, tone laced with the exhaustion Bood was sure he must be feeling in spades, “with the distance and our schedules. Being public would make a lot of this easier, but also a lot of it a lot fucking harder. I… we just realised keeping this a secret wasn’t worth knowing whether or not the other was fucking alive.”

The last was said with a heaviness that Bood recognised all too well. It was the weight that had been in Cassie’s voice when he’d called her, safe but shaken up from the hotel. Was the weight that had been in both their voices as they had realised how close their kid had come to growing up without him. Jesus, Hollander must have had the worst day of his fucking life getting down to Tampa.

“Fuck,” Bood sighed. “That must have been a rough few hours for you.”

“Yeah,” Hollander said, swallowing, as he looked down at Roz’s hand.

Roz didn't let him sit in the feeling for long before he was pulling Hollander’s hand up the bed and giving it a kiss. The look that flashed between them was so fucking tender that Bood almost had to look away.

“Okay,” D announced from the end of the bed, shattering them all out of the moment. “I feel like I’ve waited long enough. Hollander, I have a very important question I have to ask you.”

“God,” Bood groaned, and took a long drink from his coffee to steel himself. Who was he kidding? He wanted the answer as well.

“Hollander, how would you describe yourself?”

“What?” Hollander asked, clearly thrown by the question. Roz’s eyebrow ticked up.

“You know,” D continued, “would you say you’re fun-loving and free-wheeling? Outdoorsy? Adventurous? A party demon?” His eyes glanced over at Bood cheekily. “A twink?”

Across the bed, Shane Hollander, best player in this generation of the NHL (sorry, Roz) choked on his own fucking spit. Ilya Rozanov, his honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend, started laughing.

“Hollander?” Roz gasped, between breaths. Disbelief clear in his tone.

“Yeah?” Dykstra replied, eyes wary but as eager as Bood was for the answers.

“Ilya,” was all Hollander seemed to be able to say. Bood did find it within himself to feel a little bad for the guy.

“Hmm, Shane,” Roz said, voice laced with gleeful irony as he turned on his boyfriend. “Would you say you are party demon? That you are tearing up town with all your fun-loving and free-wheeling adventure?”

“Ilya, I swear to God.”

Bood was grinning now, almost as wide as Roz. “Sorry,” he asked, not sorry in the least. “Are we missing something?”

Roz’s smiling eyes shifted over to him and Dykstra. “You would not know this, but is important to tell you that Shane has never fun-loved or free-wheeled in his life. His idea of a party is standing in corner and leaving early.”

“Ilya.”

“Shane colour-codes his sock drawer, is white, white, and more white. The last five books he read were about hockey.”

“I hate you.”

“I found copy of New Yorker in his bathroom the last time I was over. He is perhaps most boring man alive.”

“Shut up, asshole. It was for my dad.”

“Sure, Shane.”

“Fuck you.”

“Sorry, Hollander. Not for at least two weeks. Doctor’s orders.”

At that last comment, Hollander flushed an even deeper red than he had when they had walked in.

“Jesus Christ!” he groaned, the mortification rolling off him in waves.

Oh yeah, Bood thought, he could really see the Hollander and Rozanov thing now. This was maybe the worst kept secret in the NHL. How the hell had they managed to keep a lid on this for ten goddamn years?

“Oh,” Bood smiled, “Okay. So this is an asshole-for-asshole kind of situation.”

Roz’s laughter was as gleeful as Bood had ever heard it. He’d be feeling this conversation in his head and his ribs tomorrow, for sure. But Bood had the feeling that Roz would think it was worth it. Bood definitely thought it was, for the absolutely scandalised look Shane Hollander was now levelling at him.

“No!” Hollander said. “No, no. He’s an asshole. I’m just defending myself.”

Roz lifted the hand holding Hollander’s, and used their joined hands to gesture between them. “Yes, is correct,” he grinned. “Shane is far too boring to be asshole. If anything, is asshole-for-boring situation.”

“Okay, I’m leaving.” Hollander pushed their joined hands back down to the bed. Made as if to stand up.

“No,” Roz whined, immediately melting towards Hollander like a puppy, shit-eating smile still plastered across his face. “No, Shane. Stay. My hand will get cold.”

“Good.”

“No, Shane,” Roz insisted, pouting, and Bood did think it was impressive that Hollander was keeping a straight face in the wake of it. “Doctor says my hand must stay warm. Very important to my recovery. Will be set back weeks and weeks if it does not.”

“Okay,” Hollander said, eyebrows raising towards Bood. “So hold Boodram’s hand.”

Dykstra laughed, and Bood reached the hand closest to Roz out towards him. “I’ll happily hold your hand, Cap.”

Roz looked over at him, disgusted. “No you won’t,” he snapped, before turning back to Hollander. D laughed even harder. “Shane, moya lyubov. I am sorry. Please. You are so interesting. Most interesting man in world. With very interesting hand, that I must keep holding.”

As Hollander rolled his eyes and relaxed back in his chair, finally giving up the empty threat to leave, Bood noticed with a grin that their hands were still tangled tightly together. Bood was sure that Hollander hadn’t even pretended to let go.

“Yes,” Roz sighed, smiling at Hollander. “Better.”

Hollander was grinning back, free and relaxed. Bood noticed from across the bed that all the tension had finally left Hollander’s shoulders. For a moment, as Hollander stared at Roz, Bood was fairly sure that he had entirely forgotten that he and Dykstra were even there.

“I guess Barrett wins, then,” D groaned, leaning back in his chair and playfully kicking Bood’s foot. “And technically Holmberg, too, I guess. Oh, wait… Hollander, do you like Marvel movies?”

There was a beat as the question hit Hollander, caught both him and Roz off-guard in their moment of lovesick tenderness. Bood was ashamed to admit he was slightly invested in the answer.

“Is that Batman?” Hollander asked, sincerely.

Dykstra grinned. “Oh, you have to say that in front of Hazy. Please, Hollander, I’ll do anything. Name your fucking price.”

Bood watched the good-natured confusion settle over Hollander’s face. The soft, adoring smile Roz levelled at him while he chatted with Dykstra. Oh yeah, Barrett had definitely won the bet. Bood had a feeling that Shane Hollander made Roz a hell of a lot happier than any of them could ever fucking imagine.

He leaned back in his chair, sipped his coffee, and grinned.

Today was a good fucking day. 

Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

So I had some free time today and this idea for the Centaurs group chat literally wouldn’t leave me alone.

I might also add another chapter for the WAGs group chat with Shane if the inspiration strikes.

The Cool Centaurs Players

Active 10 minutes ago

 

11:15

 

Bood Machine added Harris Drover to the chat

 

Bood Machine

Harris, dude. It was a minor crime that you weren’t already in here, but now that we’ve been through a literal plane crash together something needed to be done

 

Bood Machine

Fair warning, more of the team used to be on here but Dykstra single-handedly scared them off. We literally have to have another chat for the whole team specifically without him. If you want to leave after today, no one would blame you

 

Big Dykstra Energy 

BROOOOOOOOO A LEGEND HAS JOINED THE CHAT

 

Big Dykstra Energy set Harris Drover’s nickname to Apple Cider GOAT

 

Big Dykstra Energy replied to Bood Machine

I didn't scare them off they were already cowards

 

Big Dykstra Energy

that's also why this one is the cool centaurs chat

 

Big Dykstra Energy

cuz I'm here!!

 

ChouiNARD

hello from hospital. Good energy to wake up to. Glad you’re finally here Harris! Also please ignore D, we all do

 

ChouiNARD

also @Bood Machine @Big Dykstra Energy Selena says you came by the room and didn’t wake me the fuck up to say hello. Wtf man?? 

 

Bood Machine

Sorry dude. We were in kind of a hurry to meet Roz’s literal motherfucking BOYFRIEND 

 

Bood Machine

Which we did by the way. Everyone owes @Troy Barrett money

 

Homie Burger

wait…

 

Homie Burger

BARRETT won!!?!?

 

Homie Burger

did Barrett even fucking bet? 👀

 

Big Dykstra Energy

there was a lot of deliberation on our part. But the judges have decided that Barrett was indeed the closest. Roz was literally GIDDY his man had him GIGGLING it was DISGUSTING 

 

Big Dykstra Energy

also, @Troy Barrett how the fuck don’t you have a nickname in here yet???

 

Big Dykstra Energy set Troy Barrett’s nickname to Boyfriend Psychic

 

Big Dykstra Energy

there, fixed it 😁

 

Boyfriend Psychic

Seriously??? 

 

Big Dykstra Energy

your welcome bro!

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Hi everyone!! 👋

 

Apple Cider GOAT

I for one love my nickname @Big Dykstra Energy. But I do agree with Holmberg (I think???) Troy’s bet was bullshit and should not be counted

 

Homie Burger

yes!! It’s me. 

 

Bood Machine

Literally no one else was close dude!

 

Bood Machine

Well, one person was. But we’ll let @Ra Ra Rozanov decide if he wants to share 👀

 

ChouiNARD

I am so fucking lost

 

Tanning Bed

We placed bets on what we thought Roz’s boyfriend would be like

 

Tanning Bed

Barrett literally just said “I think he makes Roz happy”

 

Tanning Bed

Him winning is an ATROCITY and I will be taking it to the international human rights court for appeal

 

Foetus replied to Tanning Bed

I don’t know anything about this bet. But chiming in to say we all know the only way Dillon can even spell international human rights court is with auto correct

 

Apple Cider GOAT

😂😂😂😂😂😂

 

Apple Cider GOAT

I fucking can’t with these nicknames

 

Apple Cider GOAT 

Dillon why the fuck are you called tanning bed??

 

Apple Cider GOAT

And who the fuck is @Foetus

 

Big Dykstra Energy replied to Apple Cider GOAT

hes called tanning bed because you need one to be Tanner 😜

 

Tanning Bed

Wait is that actually the reason D?? 

 

Big Dykstra Energy 

yes

 

Tanning Bed

Fuck you all

 

Foetus replied to Apple Cider GOAT

It’s Young

 

Apple Cider GOAT

🤣

 

On Pointe replied to Foetus

I’m literally in the burns unit right now and I think Dillon might genuinely need it more 🔥

 

Tanning Bed

Too soon man

 

On Pointe

For you maybe

 

Homie Burger replied to Bood Machine

no but who was close??? I need to KNOOWWWW 👀👀👀

 

Hazy replied to Bood Machine

Ummm… I said basically the same thing as Barrett

 

Hazy

How did I not also win??

 

Big Dykstra Energy

you said the thing about Marvel. 

 

Hazy

And???

 

Big Dykstra Energy

and ask Roz’s boy what he thinks Batman is the next time you see him…

 

Hazy

No 😭

 

Big Dykstra Energy

yes 😁

 

Homie Burger

wait… next time? has Hazy met Roz’s bf???

 

Homie Burger

cuz I feel like that should disqualify him

 

Tanning Bed

Wait fr 

 

Tanning Bed

@Hazy have you met the boyfriend??? 

 

Bood Machine

We may have also taken that into account while we were deliberating

 

Bood Machine

Sorry @Hazy the boyfriend ratted you out

 

Hazy

Dammit 

 

Homie Burger

so if Hazy wasn’t close who was??

 

On Pointe

I feel like I’m doing pretty well not freaking out about Roz having a boyfriend considering I MISSED THE MESSAGES WHERE WE FOUND OUT!!! 

 

On Pointe

But Hazy already knowing who it is has really tipped me over the edge

 

On Pointe

I’m still a critical patient @Hazy

 

On Pointe

This is endangerment

 

On Pointe

Also congrats @Ra Ra Rozanov happy for you bro

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

I think I missed something…

 

Big Dykstra Energy

FINALLY he joins us!!! 🙌

 

Tanning Bed replied to Haasy NOT Hazy

That’s what you get for going to bed early rook 

 

Tanning Bed

You miss losing a rigged bet to fucking BARRETT

 

Skin Condition

Damn, y’all were betting on Roz’s boyfriend after we went to bed???

 

Big Dykstra Energy

BOYLE!! 

 

Tanning Bed

You snooze you lose man

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Okay skin condition is even better than tanning bed

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Also, why do I feel like there’s a story behind Haas’ nickname

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

It’s really not that interesting

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

People just kept thinking I was Hayes

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

This fixed it

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

Mostly

 

Apple Cider GOAT

I love it here 

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

I don’t

 

Big Dykstra Energy

damn Haasy tell us how you really feel

 

ChouiNARD

you don’t love us any more Haasy?? 🥺

 

Foetus

Some of us are still fragile Haasy. Why would you drop this on us now? Do we mean nothing to you???? 😭😭😭

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

This is why I hate it here

 

Bood Machine

I expect money from @everyone who bet before we board this afternoon btw

 

Bood Machine

And then because @Boyfriend Psychic will now be a rich man he can shout us all drinks on the flight

 

Big Dykstra Energy

🙌🙌🙌

 

Tanning Bed

Hard agree

 

Skin Condition

@Boyfriend Psychic that would make up for not including me in the bet 👀

 

Homie Burger

really regretting staying to fly back with Young

 

Homie Burger

@Boyfriend Psychic can you shout my drinks anyway 🥺

 

Foetus replied to Homie Burger

Love you too man, geez

 

Boyfriend Psychic

Fuck you all buy your own drinks

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Even me?? 

 

Boyfriend Psychic

Okay, I will buy Harris one drink

 

Apple Cider GOAT

😁 Thank you!!! 

 

Big Dykstra Energy

DISCRIMINATION

 

Bood Machine

Yeah Barrett, I thought we were cool

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Ummm it would be literal homophobia if he didn’t buy me a drink

 

Apple Cider GOAT

That’s like the opposite of discrimination

 

On Pointe

Does no one want to talk about the fact that @Ra Ra Rozanov literally just jumped on the chat to like Barrett’s message about buying Harris a drink and then dipped???

 

On Pointe

Roz come back!!!

 

Homie Burger

ROZ IS HERE

 

Homie Burger

ROZ WE NEED ANSWERS

 

Homie Burger

ROZ PLEASE WHO WAS CLOSE 😭😭😭

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

shhhhhh i am incognito 🥸 

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

was never here

 

Big Dykstra Energy

ROOOZZZZZZZ

 

ChouiNARD

didn’t you just see him??

 

Big Dykstra Energy 

I can’t show love for my bro? ♥️

 

Hazy

@Ra Ra Rozanov aren’t you still severely concussed?

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

yes

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

thats why im incognito 🥸 

 

Bood Machine

Dude where is your bf right now

 

Bood Machine

We both know there’s no way he’d let you be on your phone

 

Homie Burger

can’t help but notice the damning silence regarding who had the next closest guess…

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

Bood is right captain you really shouldn’t be on your phone

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

shane is in bathroom

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

his gut has been bad because ate mcdonalds for first time in ten years

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

will be a while 🤢🚽💩

 

Skin Condition

Dude TMI

 

Hazy replied to Ra Ra Rozanov

You know I can text him right??

 

Hazy

I’m texting him

 

Foetus

We’re just going to ignore that Roz’s boyfriend hasn’t eaten McDonalds in ten years

 

Tanning Bed

I feel like that means my guess might be closest 

 

Tanning Bed

And Roz just doesn’t want to admit that his bf turned him into a hippie

 

ChouiNARD

sorry I feel like we’re all missing the fucking elephant in the room here

 

ChouiNARD 

your boyfriends name is SHANE?

 

ChouiNARD 

SHANEEEE????

 

ChouiNARD 

do we want to consider the psychosexual implications of Roz dating someone with the same name as his arch fucking rival

 

ChouiNARD 

like I know they’re friends now

 

ChouiNARD

but seriously man never tell Hollander about this 

 

ChouiNARD 

you might do genuine psychological damage

 

On Pointe

Oh shit

 

Foetus

I mean, it’s not that weird. I know like two Shanes

 

Tanning Bed

Okay what do we think it means that Roz heart reacted to every single one of Nicks messages

 

Apple Cider GOAT

And @Big Dykstra Energy and @Bood Machine have gone suspiciously silent 🤔

 

Apple Cider GOAT

I deduce that the secret boyfriend is actually… SHANE HOLLANDER 🕵️😂

 

Foetus

lol 

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

I really don’t think that’s true

 

Skin Condition 

Obviously not Haasy 🤣

 

ChouiNARD 

@Ra Ra Rozanov why did you like Harris message? 👀

 

Apple Cider GOAT

WHATTTTTT

 

Ra Ra Rozanov replied to ChouiNARD

😎

 

Apple Cider GOAT

No you can’t do this to me I was joking

 

Apple Cider GOAT

@Ra Ra Rozanov WHAT DOES IT MEAN 😭 

 

Tanning Bed

I literally can’t tell if this is a bit or not

 

Tanning Bed

@Ra Ra Rozanov is this a bit?????

 

Ra Ra Rozanov replied to Tanning Bed

😎😎

 

Foetus

ROZANOV THATS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH ANSWER

 

Foetus

ROZ YOU HAVE TO TELL US

 

On Pointe

@Big Dykstra Energy @Bood Machine please help

 

Big Dykstra Energy

Ummmm

 

Bood Machine

Dude! You couldn’t think of ANYTHING else to message??

 

Big Dykstra Energy

Sorry

 

ChouiNARD 

wait WHAT!!!!!! 

 

Apple Cider GOAT

No

 

Apple Cider GOAT

nonononononononono

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Dykstra I’m too young to die like this 

 

Apple Cider GOAT

Dykstra my heart will LITERALLY give out 

 

Big Dykstra Energy set Apple Cider GOAT’s nickname to Boyfriend Psychic 2.0

 

Tanning Bed

Holy shit

 

Skin Condition

Fuck me

 

Hazy

Way to play it cool D

 

Boyfriend Psychic 2.0

I need to lie down

 

Boyfriend Psychic

Wait, Harris are you actually okay tho?

 

Homie Burger 

ROZ STOP LIKING BARRETTS MESSAGES AND GIVE US ANSWERS

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

no 😎

 

Bood Machine

Well it was nice knowing you all

 

Bood Machine

When the best player in the NHL gets arrested for murder you’ll know it was all @Big Dykstra Energy’s fault

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

second best

 

Tanning Bed

THATS what you finally have something to say about 

 

Bood Machine replied to Ra Ra Rozanov 

If you’re talking about yourself Roz then yes 😊

 

On Pointe

Damn. 

 

On Pointe

@Ra Ra Rozanov there’s room here in the burns ward for you 🔥🔥

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

Hi guys, this is Hollander.

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

I guess the cat's out of the bag.

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

Thanks for the message Hayes.

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

Just letting you all know that I’ve confiscated Ilya’s phone. 

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

Also I will not be getting arrested for murdering Dykstra and Boodram.

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

To get arrested they’d have to find the bodies.

 

Ra Ra Rozanov

Nice to officially meet you all! Ilya will rejoin the chat when he no longer has a dangerous concussion. 🙂

 

ChouiNARD

WHAAATTTTTTT

 

Big Dykstra Energy

okay I am actually scared of Hollander

 

Big Dykstra Energy

that man has Rolex money

 

Big Dykstra Energy

@Bood Machine they won’t be finding our remains til next century bro

 

Bood Machine

I feel like it shouldn’t need to be said. But @everyone this information STAYS IN THIS FUCKING CHAT

 

Bood Machine

Anyone outs our boys and there will genuinely be fucking bodies 

 

On Pointe

🫡 got it

 

ChouiNARD

🫡

 

Foetus

🫡

 

Boyfriend Psychic 2.0

🫡🌈

 

Boyfriend Psychic

🫡

 

Haasy NOT Hazy

🫡

 

Skin Condition

🫡

 

Hazy

🫡 

 

Bood Machine

@Tanning Bed @Homie Burger @Big Dykstra Energy??? 

 

Tanning Bed

Wait fuck I can’t find the fucking emoji everyone’s using

 

Foetus

Dude literally just type salute into the search

 

Big Dykstra Energy replied to Bood Machine

I literally visited Roz and Hollander with you bro I didn’t think I needed to

 

Big Dykstra Energy

But 🫡

 

Tanning Bed

There’s a search function for emojis?

 

Foetus

Yes

 

Tanning Bed

🫡 

 

Tanning Bed

Found it

 

Boyfriend Psychic 2.0

Wait. Dillon. How have you been finding emojis on your phone?

 

Tanning Bed

I scroll through them

 

Skin Condition

DUDE….

 

ChouiNARD 

No wonder it takes you for fucking ever to reply to shit

 

Big Dykstra Energy set Tanning Bed’s nickname to I Scroll Through Them

 

I Scroll Through Them

FUCK OFF!!!! 

 

I Scroll Through Them

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

 

I Scroll Through Them

I didn’t scroll to find that one assholes

 

Boyfriend Psychic

Wait are you including Harris in that

 

Boyfriend Psychic

Cuz he’s like the opposite of an asshole

 

Boyfriend Psychic 2.0

Thanks Troy 😊

 

Boyfriend Psychic

No problem

 

Big Dykstra Energy

get a ROOOOOM

 

Bood Machine

@Homie Burger 👀

 

Bood Machine

Still waiting man…

 

Homie Burger

I said famous

 

Homie Burger

I literally said fucking famous

 

Homie Burger

how did Barrett win the fucking bet if I LITERALLY SAID THAT ROZS BOYFRIEND WAS SOMEONE FUCKING FAMOUS!!!!?!?!???!?

 

Homie Burger

This is RIGGED

 

Homie Burger

I said FAMOUS and Roz’s boyfriend is LITERALLY SHANE MOTHERFUCKING HOLLANDER BEST FUCKING PLAYER IN THE NHL DATED ROSE FUCKING LANDRY MOTHERFUCKING FAMOUS FUCKING DUDE

 

Homie Burger

AND BARRETT FUCKING WON 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

 

Homie Burger

I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU

 

Homie Burger

Also 🫡

Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

The WAGs chapter is here!!!

Also, this is the last chapter I’ll be adding to this particular work. Anything new I write for this series will be it’s own fic 😁

WABs

Active now

 

19:17

 

Cassie created the group.

Cassie named the group WABs.

Cassie changed the group photo.

 

 

Cassie

Hi all 👋

 

Cassie

Welcome to the new (and exclusive) WABs group chat!!! 

 

Cassie

@Shane we are all so excited you are here 😁

 

Cassie

Please feel free to set yourself a nickname if you’d rather your first name isn’t in the chat

 

Cassie

As for the rest of you ladies it would be great if we could all sound off with our name and spouse as so far Shane has only met Selena 😊

 

Lisa

Hi everyone! 

 

Lisa

Lisa Hayes. Bound by law to the best goalie in the NHL. Shane, I feel like I don’t need to tell you that I am the cool one in my relationship

 

Lisa

So happy to have you here!!

 

Ellen

Hi Shane! Hi everyone!

 

Ellen

Ellen Boyle. I can only apologise for the man that I’m married to. Dan literally just got back from being in a plane crash and the man has turned on the game.

 

Ellen

@Lisa @Cassie I hope your men are behaving better than mine.

 

Cassie

Yikes

 

Cassie

He hasn’t turned on the game. He did house four serves of lasagne and would have had more if I didn’t cut him off

 

Cassie

I am slightly worried he didn’t eat anything in Florida

 

Caitlin

Hello 👋 

 

Caitlin

Caitlin Dykstra. Shane I heard my husband inflicted his company on you for nearly an hour this morning

 

Caitlin

Just know that I am sorry. If it helps at all he thinks you’re great 😁

 

Caitlin

He also apparently was abysmal at asking follow up questions about you and Roz. So be warned, I have a list and I will be asking them at some point…

 

Cassie

Oh my god, RIGHT?!

 

Cassie

The lack of information they came back with. I can’t with these men 🙄

 

Selena

Salut! 

 

Selena

Thanks so much for setting this up Cassie 💜

 

Selena

Shane it was so great getting coffee with you earlier today! And thanks for stopping in on Nick. He didn’t say it but he’s low key obsessed with you

 

Selena

If Roz hadn’t snatched you up and I wasn’t in the picture 🤷‍♀️

 

Lisa

😂😂

 

Lisa

I’m so jealous you guys had coffee

 

Lisa

Shane why didn’t we get coffee while Wyatt was teaching at your hockey camp? 👀 

ps can we get coffee when he’s teaching at the next one? 🙏

 

Selena

Actually @Shane if you’re not busy I haven’t grabbed dinner yet?? 

 

Selena

If I have to sit and watch Nick slurp down another hospital meal I may be forced to take drastic action

 

Shane

Wow. Hi everyone! 

It’s really great to meet you all. 🙂

 

Shane Hollander set their own nickname to Jane

 

Jane

Sorry about this, I know it’s kind of weird but it’s mostly for if anyone who shouldn’t stumbles across the chat.

 

Jane replied to Selena

I haven’t had dinner yet. And Ilya has spent the last two hours cheating at go fish so spending an hour with someone who isn’t telling me to go fuck myself in Russian sounds great. 😅

 

Cassie replied to Jane

Of course! Whatever you need to do!

We’re just so excited our husbands actually managed to talk you into this

 

Cassie

I may have told Zane to fuck off when he first said it was you who was dating Roz

 

Cassie

But then Roz is so great it makes sense he’d be dating the greatest player in the NHL

(Don’t tell him I said that 😅)

 

Jane

Oh I absolutely will.

His ego needs a reality check.

 

Caitlin

😂 oh my god I’m already obsessed with you!

 

Caitlin replied to Cassie

Same!!! I didn’t believe Ev until Selena messaged to say the two of you had had coffee

 

Caitlin

Was furious when he told me that he and Bood had uncovered a ten year love affair and then STOPPED ASKING QUESTIONS!!!!! 

 

Jane

It’s really not that exciting. We weren’t serious for a long time. Then we were. 

 

Caitlin

Wow. Okay. So maybe not entirely Ev’s fault. You’re really bad at this 😂

 

Cassie replied to Jane

You know we can message Roz for the same information right?? 

 

Jane

Not while I have his phone. 

 

Lisa

😂😂😂

 

Lisa

We stan a partner who enforces concussion protocols 🙌

 

Selena

I couldn’t believe it when Nick said Roz had been messaging the chat

 

Selena

@Jane I was ten seconds away from storming down to your man’s room and taking his phone myself

 

Caitlin

These men I swear

 

Caitlin

Ev comes home with whiplash and instructions from the paramedics to take care of his fucking neck

 

Caitlin

What’s the first thing he does after eating dinner?

 

Caitlin

Passes out in the WORST possible position on the fucking couch and then complains when I wake him up 🙄

 

Caitlin

I tell you what he’s lucky he’s cute

 

Ellen

Wow I just put this thing down to change a diaper y’all have been busy.

 

Ellen

Also @Jane Dan wants to know if you consider yourself famous??

 

Cassie

Oh my god 🤦‍♀️

 

Lisa

lol

 

Jane

Ummm, maybe? I mean I guess I am for hockey. But I wouldn’t say I’m famous famous.

 

Jane

It’s hard to tell when I live in Montreal. The fans there are on another level.

 

Jane

But when I’m in the US I really don’t feel all that famous. But I still get stopped for photos. So maybe.

 

Caitlin

Okay that is far too nice an answer for what is maybe the stupidest question of all time

 

Caitlin

Jane you need to come teach my man some of those good Canadian manners 😂 Apparently Manitoba didn’t have enough to go round 

 

Jane

Wait, why is it a stupid question? 

 

Ellen

Okay so Dan is JUST NOW telling me he made me ask because there was a bet.

 

Lisa

😂😂

 

Caitlin replied to Ellen

Oh honey you missed some DRAMA

 

Ellen

Apparently Holmberg bet that you were famous and there’s been some heated disagreement and Dan thinks your opinion could help sort it out.

 

Caitlin

Heated might be the understatement of the century 😆

 

Ellen

And now Dan’s telling me he didn’t actually lose any money on the bet, so I’m really not sure why he cares so much. 🙄

 

Cassie

😂😂😂

 

Cassie

If it’s any consolation Zane DID lose money on the bet and I still don’t understand why they’re all so invested

 

Cassie

Although the winning bet was that Jane makes Roz happy 😭

 

Cassie

@Jane they said your man was absolutely SMITTEN. I know hockey boys aren’t the best at communicating emotions but I know both Zane and Evan were really happy to see how well you take care of our captain!! ♥️

 

Caitlin

100%!! Ev’s obsessed with how obsessed Roz is with you! It means a lot as Centaurs WAGs to know our captain is in good hands 🥰

 

Lisa

*WABs now

 

Lisa

Or I guess that’s just for this chat

 

Lisa

Maybe we could go WHABGs or I think I’ve also seen SAPs as an option for the whole group 

 

Lisa replied to Cassie

Wyatt was also so excited when he realised you and Roz were together!! We all adore Roz and know he deserves the best. And someone who’s willing to drive thirteen hours overnight at the drop of a hat for him fits that description in my book 💕

 

Caitlin

^ this!!!!

 

Caitlin replied to Lisa

Also SAPs is a great gender neutral one! I think we should change the larger WAGs chat to that regardless. Even if Jane never wants to jump into the bigger chat

 

Caitlin

Which there’s absolutely no pressure for you to by the way 

 

Jane

Thanks. 

 

Cassie

Absolutely! Even when you and Roz do go public, there’s no pressure to join us on the larger chat

 

Cassie

It does get a bit like the wild west on there 😅

 

Ellen

But the tea is excellent! 😂

 

Caitlin

Can confirm, Vanessa works at a rich as fuck country club and the drama is WILD

 

Caitlin

I LIVE for the goss

 

Lisa replied to Caitlin

Changed it 😁

 

Caitlin

Woohoo!!!

 

Cassie

Fair warning the larger chat is also like 40% kid talk 😅

 

Ellen

To be fair that percentage used to be way higher. We have a dedicated mums chat now and it still manages to bleed through.

 

Caitlin

Oh, yeah, if we start talking too much about our kids please say so 

 

Jane

My best friend has four kids. I don’t mind. 

 

Ellen

FOUR??? 

 

Ellen

I know that’s really not that many but twins is ENOUGH!

 

Jane

Oh he has twins. And then two more.

 

Ellen

Insanity. Also his wife must be a saint, my god. Could not be my uterus I’ll tell you that right now. 

 

Caitlin

I have to agree. I want more kids, but one. Two max. There’s only so many times you want to launch an entire person out of your vagina

 

Ellen

Try two in a row.

 

Caitlin

No

 

Cassie

Really filling me with confidence guys

 

Ellen

Don’t worry. Just when they ask you if you want the drugs say yes. 

 

Selena

Yes. As a mother of three, take the damn drugs!

 

Ellen

@Jane sorry. This is what we mean by it bleeds through. 😅

 

Jane

That’s okay. I’ll be honest I’m still trying to figure out what tea has to do with a country club.

 

Lisa

Oh no

 

Selena

😂😂

 

Caitlin replied to Jane

Aren’t you gay??

 

Jane

Yes?

 

Jane

Is that relevant?

 

Lisa 

oh NO 😂

 

Cassie

Tea is gossip

 

Cassie

But like, juicy gossip. The really good stuff

 

Jane

What does that have to do with being gay?

 

Lisa

No, its just I’m pretty sure it came from black drag culture. So it’s like gay slang 

 

Lisa

To be fair most straight people learned it from drag race

 

Jane

Oh. I don’t really know much gay slang.

 

Jane

Drag racing like the cars? Is that gay?

 

Lisa

OH NO 😭😭😭

 

Selena

Jane I know you’re a hockey player but not knowing what drag race is is wild

 

Caitlin

No but why do I feel like Roz would be low key obsessed with it

 

Lisa

YES 🙌 

 

Cassie

Zane loves it. We watch together when we can and he’s honestly more invested than I am

 

Jane replied to Selena

I don’t really watch a lot of TV.

 

Lisa

Didn’t you date a movie star?

 

Jane

Yes?

 

Lisa

@Selena when you get dinner with this man can you please sort this out. I’m dying out here. I’m in the trenches

 

Jane

Sorry.

 

Lisa

No, no you’re good. I promise. I just forget how out of touch hockey boys can be 😅

 

Jane

Okay, Ilya’s telling me drag race is Ru Paul. And also those two blonde drag queens with the podcast. 

 

Jane

So I do know what it is. I just haven’t watched any of it.

 

Caitlin

I NEED someone to tweet Trixie and Katya that THE Shane Hollander just referred to them as ‘those two blonde drag queens with the podcast’ 😂😂😂

 

Caitlin

This might be the best day of my life

 

Caitlin

Also OH MY GOD I just realised I full-named you 🤦‍♀️

@Jane did you want me to delete that message??

 

Jane

No, it’s fine. You’re good! 🙂

 

Caitlin

You can tell how little sleep I am functioning on right now… 😖

 

Selena

@Jane I’ll be headed your way in a minute. Did you wanna do fast food or see if we can actually find something even close to diet friendly? 😅

 

Jane

Diet friendly would be great if we can. 

 

Selena

Of course!! Also, did you want me to go grab something and bring it back? Or did you want an outing? 

Totally understand if you’d rather stay in the ward 💜

 

Jane

It’d be great to go out somewhere. And the crash was a couple of days ago now, so I feel like even if I’m recognised it shouldn’t be too crazy.

 

Selena

We can see if we can get takeaway and find a park or something? I know I could use fresh air and this Florida weather is actually kind of amazing

 

Cassie

GOD I’m so jealous

 

Cassie

It’s so fucking cold rn

 

Selena

@Jane I just sent you a few options 🙂

 

Lisa

Okay, I’ve unfortunately got a night shift so I have to head

Jane it’s so great having you on here! Wyatt and I want you and Roz round for dinner at some point soon. Obviously we know your schedule is hectic and time with Roz is limited so there’s no rush 😊

 

Lisa

Talk to you all soon! And Jane tell Ilya to take it easy. We need our captain back in one piece 💜

 

Cassie

Oh yeah, heads up Jane that Zane is already planning a bbq for the group that’s in the know so that we can all hang out with you and Roz

 

Cassie

He says playoffs are coming up and it looks like we won’t be in them, so watch your calendar. So a long playoffs run for Montreal might be your only way out of this until summer 😅

 

Jane

I don’t think we’re winning the cup this year, but this is definitely good motivation. 

 

Caitlin

Aw Jane, you DONT want to sit on Bood’s deck for hours while the guys give you shit about your love life??

 

Caitlin

I can’t imagine why 😂

 

Jane

Ilya actually invited me to the barbecue at Christmas. I didn’t come for obvious reasons, but I do want to meet you all. He says you’re all so great. So we’ll definitely find a way to make it work before summer. 🙂

 

Ellen

Oh god you at Christmas would have been chaos!! 

 

Ellen

There was a point when Dan was on Evan’s lap trying to sing silent night in french while they were blind drunk

 

Ellen

NO ONE needed to see that. Be glad you weren’t there

 

Selena

I’m still scarred. @Jane thank you for actually knowing how to speak French 🙏🙏  These Ottawa boys are terrible…

 

Selena

Also I’m about to be at your room

 

Caitlin

Oh my god enjoy your dinner date guys, I’m so jealous!!!!! 

 

Caitlin

Jane you better be serious about coming to the bbq we need to meet you!

 

Caitlin

And get ANSWERS

I cannot stress enough how much we need answers!! 

 

Jane

I’ll do my best. Honestly Ilya loves embarrassing me so he’ll probably answer anything you ask him. 

 

Caitlin

I quite literally can’t wait!

 

Ellen

Okay, these kids should have been down an hour ago and my husband is probably not far behind them so I’m gonna disappear.

 

Ellen

So glad you’re here Jane! And tell Ilya to rest up ♥️

 

Cassie

Ditto! So glad you’re here Jane! Have fun at dinner 😁

 

Cassie 

Also, just quickly. What’s your jacket size? 👀

For no particular reason…

 

Caitlin

YES 🤩🤩

 

Caitlin

Jane you know we can see you typing right??? 

Drop the jacket size!!

 

Caitlin

JANEEEE

 

Selena

Roz says Jane’s a large

 

Caitlin

YES Selena 🙌

 

Selena 

Also that it ABSOLUTELY needs to be bedazzled

 

Selena

And he says sequinned dicks are a must 

 

Selena

But I’m assuming that’s the drugs talking 😂

 

Caitlin

Hahahhahahaha

I’m actually dying

 

Cassie replied to Selena

Oh it’ll be bedazzled

 

Cassie

Tell Roz not to worry 

 

Cassie

The dicks might be a little harder to pull off but I’ll see what I can do

 

Selena

Roz says thank you 🤣

 

Jane

Um

 

Caitlin

Jane!!

 

Jane

I was in the bathroom for ten seconds. What the fuck.

 

Selena

Sorry Jane 😅

 

Jane replied to Selena

Tell Rozanov he can suck my sequinned dick.

 

Caitlin

STOP 😂😂😂😂😂

 

Selena

Oh god 🤣

 

Jane replied to Cassie

But yes, a large would be great.

 

Jane

Thank you.

 

Cassie

Got it!

 

Caitlin set Jane’s nickname to Sequinned Dick

 

Cassie

Ummmmmm?? 😂

 

Caitlin

SORRY!!! 

OH MY GOD

 

Caitlin

Ev had my phone 😅

 

Selena

Jane PLEASE don’t change it back 😂

 

Cassie

No wait I also kind of love it

Please keep it

 

Caitlin

I hate to encourage my husband…

 

Caitlin

But you simply MUST keep it 🙏🙏🙏

 

Caitlin

Please please please

 

Sequinned Dick

Okay.

 

Caitlin

Jane that’s the most ominous okay I’ve ever seen…

 

Caitlin

Jane?? 

 

Sequinned Dick set Selena’s nickname to Traitor 1

Sequinned Dick set Cassie’s nickname to Traitor 2

Sequinned Dick set Caitlin’s nickname to Traitor 3

 

Traitor 1

Oh my god 😆

 

Traitor 2 replied to Traitor 3

Well, you weren’t wrong…

 

Traitor 3

WHAT!?!?

 

Traitor 3

Why am I traitor 3??? 😭😭

 

Traitor 3

Jane I’m way too cool to be traitor 3 

 

Traitor 3

Jane please, I’m traitor 1 material just give me a chance!!!

 

Sequinned Dick set Traitor 3’s nickname to Traitor 4

 

Traitor 4

NOOOOOOOOO

 

Traitor 2

@Sequinned Dick I am SO FUCKING GLAD you agreed to join this chat!!!