i thought i knew it all, but you came out of the blue

NOT the babies 💪🤓
 
November 23, 2021 at 1:05 AM
Jacob
HELP
does anyone have condoms
Connor
no
Cory
none that im gonna give to you
no
Jacob
fuck
"practice safe sex" they say
well what do you do when the drugstore doesn't fucking have any
...they're completely out?
Cory
no fucking way dude
Jacob
istg i'm not lying
Connor
go ask one of the other cens bro
Jacob
i'd rather walk into traffic thanks

Anna
 
November 26, 2022 at 10:34 AM
mama's been talking a lot about your love life
or more like the lack of one
what why?
she keeps saying you're probably lonely out there
i think she's more worried than usual bc of papa's birthday
i'm fine
i have my team
and?
and what
you haven't met anyone?
anna
what im just asking
i thought hockey players were all supposed to be sluts or something
partying it up every night
the cens aren't really like that
most of them are married or dating someone already
well
maybe you should try and meet people
maybe
so that's a no
😁

Sadie
 
November 27, 2021 at 5:01 PM
my sister keeps asking about my love life
she said "aren't all hockey players supposed to be sluts"
LMFAO ANNA
i actually love your sister
but ykw she's right where ARE your boytoys luca haas
i do not have or want "boytoys"
😒
okay well how about a boyfriend
yea hold on let me just wait for one to fall out of the sky

Ilya
 
November 30, 2021 at 11:14 AM
HAASY can you pick up bananas from store before practice
i forgot and shane will be so mad
he needs them for smoothie after
it was on list that i left at home
😫
yes okay!
you are best
❤️

Family 🏠
 
December 1, 2021 at 12:01 AM
Anna
happy birthday papa i miss you so much and i will always love you 🫂❤️
happy birthday papa, i wish you were here ❤️ i miss you
Mama
my babies ❤️
he'd be so proud of both of you
please never forget that
❤️
Anna
❤️

(613)-973-1840
 
December 1, 2021 at 8:04 AM
hey!
it's jay from farm boy
the bananas?
hi!
yes i remember!
i finally found the recipe for rösti i mentioned yday
Link Attached
thank you!!

the traumatized cens 🫩
 
December 5, 2021 at 12:04 PM
Wyatt
heads up rozy and holzy are doing some sort of christmas gift exchange in the film room
Nick
we still have like three weeks till christmas??
Wyatt
well i'm not going back in there and telling them that
Cory
is christmas gift exchange supposed to be a euphemism
Zane
huh didn't know you knew words like that young
he has a word of the day calendar
isabelle got it for him
Evan
LMFAO
Connor
she got tired of your shit huh
Cory
i told you that in confidence haas fuck you
i think it's cute!!
Ryan
very cute young always listen to your gf
Wyatt
yes agreed
Zane
retweet
12:09 PM
Jacob
i really need to start looking at this gc more
does anyone have a tub of bleach i can drown in

my love and our son 🧑‍🧑‍🧒
 
December 11, 2021 at 9:51 AM
Ilya
haasy you want burger?
shane cannot do math
sure?

Jay 🍌
 
December 13, 2021 at 11:10 AM
finally finished all my fuckass finals ‼️
so i was thinking of trying that new german place downtown for lunch
you want to join?
YAY
hope they went well!!
and yes 👀

Family 🏠
 
December 19, 2021 at 8:38 PM
Anna
luca that goal was so good!!
Mama
Such a good game baby!
love you both ❤️

centaurs + harris 🐎🏆💯
 
December 27, 2021 at 8:57 AM
Harris
Hey everyone! I wanted to let everyone know that since Valentine's is coming up soon, we're doing something a little different this year for Instagram! Basically everyone's gonna be writing a short, PG-13 valentine for someone else on the team and then we'll have everyone read the one they got and guess who they think wrote it 😊
Jacob
coming up soon??? we're in december???
Ryan
oh no
Connor
do we have to
Shane
Harris, will we be choosing who we write a Valentine for?
Zane
BOOO you and loverboy can't choose each other that's boringggg
Ilya
fuck you bood
i call shane
Harris
I will be picking your valentine!
Wyatt
oh thank god
Nick
thank god
Evan
it's the small mercies 🙌
Ilya
bag skates next practice
hey i didn't say anything
Cory
hey me too!
Ilya
bag skates for everyone but shane and the babies
Connor
we're not babies 😐
Ilya
oh so you want to do bag skates?
Connor
👶🍼
Harris
OKAY before this chat gets even further off-topic, your valentine's will be emailed to you in the next week so you have enough time to write them! Also, I want to say this so certain people hear it again: these are supposed to be PG-13!! Please don't make me hunt you down and redo it. Because I will.
Troy
"certain people"
Evan
it's okay harris you can say his name
Zane
💀💀
Ryan
might as well @ him
Ilya
i think sometimes you forget i am captain
and in charge of practices
😈
Wyatt
well fuck

NOT the babies 💪🤓
 
December 29, 2021 at 6:29 PM
Connor
yo
who'd you all get
Cory
isn't it supposed to be a secret
yeah we're not supposed to tell each other
Jacob
okay shane juniors
Cory
fuck you
i do not think that is the insult you meant it to be
Jacob
okay fair
i'd prob sell my soul to be called shane junior
Cory
even the devil couldn't make that happen
Jacob
🖕
Connor
can we all just say if any of us got each other
Jacob
i didn't
Cory
same
no
Connor
wow
harris making us all write valentines for the elderly ig
my community service for the year 🤩
Cory
💀
and yet they can all outscore you what does that say about you bergy
Jacob
yall notice haasy has been spicier lately
like worse than usual
Connor
"spicier" just call him an asshole
🖕

Jay 🍌
 
January 1, 2022 at 12:00 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR JAY!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR LUCA!! 🎉

dads + rooks 🍼
 
January 5, 2022 at 7:18 PM
Ilya
you are on the way?
bring extra xbox remotes
Cory
👍
Connor
me and pointy are fifteen mins away
waiting for young
he is slow
Shane
👍

the traumatized cens 🫩
 
January 12, 2022 at 2:39 PM
Zane
whatever you do
do NOT go into the film room
Wyatt
damn they got you too huh
Cory
karma for making me and luca sleep next to them last road trip
yes
Nick
practice is over why tf don't they just go home and fuck
Evan
based on past experiences
and hearing way too much about their sex life than i ever wanted to
i think the danger of being caught is a thing for them
Jacob
😧
Ryan
oh it definitely is
@bood at least you didn't walk in on them while you were WITH COACH
Troy
💀
Zane
you know before holzy moved here i thought he was like
a polite canadian guy
the media doesn't know what a fucking menace he is
Nick
if you think about it
the only person who can handle all of roz is someone who is just as bad
Wyatt
re-fucking-tweet
but also
they had to hide every part of their relationship for a decade so every time i think about that, the way they are makes more sense
Jacob
wow that's kinda depressing hazy
Nick
but true
i guess they deserve to be borderline exhibitionists when you put it like that
Zane
😭

my love and our son 🧑‍🧑‍🧒
 
January 14, 2022 at 6:04 AM
Shane
Link Attached
Luca, this is the tape I was talking about
forgot to send it last night
9:38 AM
thanks shane!

Jay 🍌
 
January 16, 2022 at 8:23 PM
if i have to look at this shitty code for one more minute my eyes might actually fall out of my skull
😭
for your capstone?
yep
and my teammates from hell aren't doing shit
i hate them
aww i'm sorry
i probably can't help at all but i can sit and stare at shitty code with you?
that sounds nice actually
FaceTime1 Person ActiveJoin

centaurs + harris 🐎🏆💯
 
January 19, 2022 at 1:28 PM
Harris
checking in about valentines
we're gonna be recording feb 2
please make sure you write and give them to me by then 😫🙏
Troy
will do!
Nick
you both are literally in the same room
Ilya
he is being good boyfriend chewy
i feel bad for selena
Zane
LMAO
but yes harris sounds good!
Connor
💀💀💀
okay!
Shane
👍
Evan
copy that

Sadie
 
January 21, 2022 at 11:03 PM
heLP
why is twitter convinced that shane and ilya are getting divorced
that rumor goes around every month
especially if rose is seen near either of them
i love the one picture where they cropped shane out to pretend it's just ilya and rose out and about by themselves
it wasn't even a good crop
he's literally holding hands with ilya in the picture
me and cory were in the room next to theirs on our last roadie
trust me
they're not getting divorced
GOODBYE IM DYING 💀

Jay ⛸️
 
January 23, 2022 at 4:47 PM
if you show anyone that video of me on the ice
i WILL leak that you're afraid of clowns to the press
but it's so funny ☺️
again, i WILL leak it
or actually i will dm ilya rozanov and tell him
the chances of him opening it are miniscule but i'll still do it
fineee
i guess i will just have to keep it for myself
🫠

dads + rooks 🍼
 
January 25, 2022 at 2:22 AM
Connor
GUYS
tramp stamp
yes or no
quick
Cory
hell yea buddy
full send
Jacob
yes yes yes
wait are you at the tattoo shop??
bergy
Shane
??
tramp stamp?
Ilya
bergy that will not be good look for you
Cory
@BERGY YOU TEXTED IN THE WRONG CHAT DUMBASS
Connor
shit
Shane
do NOT get a tramp stamp
okay checked his location he is definitely at a tattoo shop with pointy
Shane
pointy do not let him get a tramp stamp
who told you this was a good idea
Connor
everyone 😁
Ilya
coming to pick you up you better not have tramp stamp when we get there

Cory
 
January 27, 2022 at 1:28 AM
haas
luca
please be up
i need help
pls
what?
oh thank fuck
what do you get a girl for vday
...
and you think i am the right person to ask this question to?
well if you had a bf what would you get him
i don't know
maybe you should ask someone who is married
i feel like isa is gonna go all out
and i don't wanna fuck this up man
i really like her
cory you've been dating isabelle for almost a year you're not going to fuck this up
whatever you do she will like
you know what she likes and doesn't
yeah i do
okay yeah
thanks luca
🫡

centaurs + harris 🐎🏆💯
 
January 28, 2022 at 9:52 AM
Evan
yo
hockey husbands
Ilya
yes you called?
Evan
is rose landry still one of your best friends
Ilya
no.
Shane
ignore him
yes, why?
Evan
caitlin is like her biggest fan
sooo i was wondering if she could like sign something for her vday gift
Ilya
no we are not friends with her.
Shane
yeah that's why i came home from my run to find both of you drunk on vodka and singing really bad karaoke last week
Zane
HOLZY
VIDEOS PLEASE
IM BEGGING YOU
Nick
i'll give you anything you want holzy literally anything
Wyatt
rozy being bad at something? sign me up 🙂‍↕️
Ilya
is lie, i am amazing at karaoke
Shane
🙂
he only uses that emoji when he's lying
Ryan
holzy PLS im on my knees
Ilya
no one is allowed to be on knees for my husband but me boyle
Ilya removed Ryan from the conversation.
Shane
Ilya.
Ilya added Ryan to the conversation.
Nick
WHIPPED
what who said that 🫢
Zane
walk him like a dog holzy
Connor
the difference between the ilya rozanov i grew up watching and the real ilya rozanov is such a mindfuck
who knew he was so domesticated
Ilya
bergy i would not be talking
where did i pick you up from yesterday again 🤔
Cory
LMFAOO
💀
Wyatt
wait we missed something
Shane
don't worry about it
and Dykstra, yes I can ask Rose
I could also ask her if she can record something for Caitlin if you want
Evan
holy shit yes i want
gonna be the best husband ever hell yea
THANK YOU HOLZY 🙏
Ilya
i am best husband ever do not lie to yourself dykstra

Jay ⛸️
 
January 29, 2022 at 11:47 PM
sooo did you finally finish that valentine for your captain
god no
i don't know what to write
well
they do say two heads are better than one
want help?
🙏🙏
FaceTime1 Person ActiveJoin

Sadie
 
January 31, 2022 at 9:02 AM
HELLO
JUST SAW THE NEW CENS POST
so who're you writing a valentine to 😏
harris already posted that??
you will see with everyone else
booo what's the point of being one of your best friends if i don't get the inside scoop on the cens
you will be dramatic about it
well that confirmed it 🤭
🙃

Ilya
 
February 1, 2022 at 3:36 PM
haasy
do you know one direction
i need to win fight with shane
3:59 PM
why are you ignoring me haasy
4:28 PM
where are you
5:02 PM
why are you at escape room? who are you with
7:57 PM
sorry i was busy
yes obviously i know 1d
why

NOT the babies 💪🤓
 
February 2, 2022 at 9:52 AM
did you guys record for vday yet
Cory
no harris said we're gonna be last
Connor
yea the senior citizens always go first duh
those senior citizens stopped you from getting an awful tattoo
Connor
YOU SAID GIRLS WOULD FIND IT HOT
i lied
Jacob
💀💀💀

centaurs + harris 🐎🏆💯
 
February 2, 2022 at 11:41 AM
Shane
thank you for your valentine Young
it was really sweet but this picture is really something
1 Picture Attached
Evan
DEAD
Ryan
🤣
Nick
you were his first love holzy don't forget
Shane
I don't think I can after this picture
Cory
SDFSDGD
you weren't supposed to SEND THAT TO THE WHOLE TEAM THAT WAS JUST FOR YOU
goodbye gonna go throw myself in front of the zamboni
Zane
LMAO the giant shane poster makes a comeback ‼️
Wyatt
guys i feel like we need to do a team field trip to young's home
Ilya
yes i agree
team bonding
Troy
count me in
Cory
i hear the zam farewell guys thanks for everything
Ryan
if harris gave holzy to young he 100% gave rozy to haasy 💀
😶
Ilya
is true
thank you haasy your valentine is cute ❤️
Jacob
pics or it didn't happen
Ilya
no

Ilya
 
February 2, 2022 at 1:01 PM
framing your valentine in our house
thank you haasy your drawing is very beautiful
come over for dinner?
you're welcome ❤️
can i bring a friend?

Jay 💛
 
February 3, 2022 at 2:04 AM
i'm still in shock
how did i just have dinner with shane hollander and ilya rozanov
i had a poster of shane next to my bed growing up and i didn't even like hockey like that
and i was just IN HIS HOME
that he shares with ILYA ROZANOV
i think i need you to pinch me again
you made me pinch you five times already
how many more times will it take 🤨
i don't even know this has all been a lot
bad a lot?
fuck no
luca
this has all been amazing
YOU'VE been amazing
you have been pretty amazing too
see you tomorrow?
tomorrow ❤️

Anna
 
February 3, 2022 at 2:11 AM
2 Pictures Attached
7:38 AM
LUCA
WHO TF IS THAT
YOU LET HIM MEET SHANE AND ILYA????
if you don't answer me im sending these to mama
8:05 AM
😊
wtf luca explain yourself
his name's jay i met him at farm boy when i was getting something for ilya
it's not like
official
yet
FaceTime1 Person ActiveJoin

Sadie
 
February 3, 2022 at 10:33 AM
DID ILYA LIKE YOUR VALENTINE
yes 🫣
god i'm so happy for you
you're actually living the life
🫠
what are you and sarahi doing for valentines?
i'm surprising her with tickets to broadway!!
she's wanted to go since she moved to nyc but hasn't yet
what about you 👀
that is so perfect for her!
well
are you free to call tonight

my love and our son 🧑‍🧑‍🧒
 
February 3, 2022 at 4:19 PM
Shane
we loved having you and Jay over, Luca!
Ilya
he is why you have been ignoring me?
Shane
Ilya
Ilya
what? is true!!
haasy has never ignored me for hours before 😔
remember when you asked me to pick up bananas from the store?
that's when we first met
oh wait
oops
Shane
bananas?
ILYA
i KNEW you didn't get them, they weren't green like the ones you usually get
Ilya
haasy you have betrayed me ☹️
my own son
sorry
🙂

centaurs + harris 🐎🏆💯
 
February 5, 2022 at 4:29 PM
Nick
none of the rooks getting their valentine guesses right 💀
Ilya
is so obvious too
Ryan
yea so obvious that you had shane fix all the grammar in yours i don't blame pointy for getting that wrong 😒
Zane
@rooks new training where you're gonna study everyone's handwriting
because that was just embarassing for everybody
i could barely read mine
how am i supposed to know who it is when i don't know what it said
Evan
fuck you haasy
Ilya
i hope you did not write valentine to caitlin by yourself dykstra
Connor
💀
Nick
💀
Jacob
💀
Evan
ykw you can ragebait all you want rozy i got my wife the perfect gifts so i don't even care what you have to say
Zane
hey not better than my gifts for cassie
Wyatt
i have you beat sorry guys
Nick
wrong i'm the winner
Ryan
no me 🙂‍↕️
Troy
you're all idiots
i got the best gifts
Nick
rozy and holzy are suspiciously quiet all of a sudden
Zane
i don't even want to know what they're doing
Ilya
get mind out of gutter bood
i did not say anything because we all know me and shane will win
it is obvious so i don't need to fight petty argument 🤷‍♂️
Evan
wow
Troy
idk how he manages to out-asshole himself constantly
Shane
he's not wrong though 🤷‍♂️
Zane
HOLZY
Ryan
not you too 😭
Nick
see i told you he's just as much of a menace
he just hides it better
Cory
actually i think i win best gift
i got isa tickets to harry styles
oh wow
yea you win
Evan
wait what why
Nick
STFU
my kids keep begging me to get tickets but ticketmaster is hell i hate it
Cory
have to go to fucking toronto for the show but it's a sacrifice i'm willing to make
@haasy thanks you're reinstated as my best friend again
Zane
i see the word of the day calendar is still working full time
Cory
i take it back haas you're demoted again
☹️

Family 🏠
 
February 9, 2022 at 1:38 PM
are you both free tonight?
i have someone i want you to meet
Anna
OMG
yes absolutely
Mama
Yes, always free for you Luca
Who is it?
i'll explain on the call 😊

Jay 💛
 
February 10, 2022 at 1:32 AM
your mom and sister are so fun
i loved meeting them ❤️
they loved meeting you too
i didn't love the embarassing pictures part of the call though
🤭
the one of you in the sink is already your contact picture by the way
☹️

dads + rooks 🍼
 
February 12, 2022 at 7:51 PM
Shane
does anyone want leftover pasta?
Cory
fuck yea
Jacob
me me me
yes!
Ilya
is only enough for one person sorry
Connor
😔
Ilya
kidding
tell me when you are all here
😁

centaurs + harris 🐎🏆💯
 
February 13, 2022 at 8:01 AM
Ryan
are the wags doing galentine's today??
Zane
yea why
Ryan
do you know where?
Nick
??? why
Harris
🫣
Evan
wait what
caitlin didn't tell me i just thought it was gonna be at bood's place like normal
Zane
cassie said they chose somewhere else this year??
Ryan
yeAH
because they're going to fucking ROZ AND HOLZY'S PLACE
Nick
WHAT
Wyatt
wait you guys didn't know?
Zane
YOU DID??
Wyatt
yea lisa told me ages ago i thought we all knew this
Evan
oh caitlin definitely hid that on purpose
@roz @holzy GET YOUR ASSES IN CHAT RN
Ilya
hello
what is up 😎
Nick
fuck off why tf are you two hosting galentines
Ilya
we are both wags yes?
Zane
no not really
Shane
i mean, technically we are
Cory
yea if you think about it, they kinda are?
i agree
Connor
same
Jacob
they're both married to someone on the team? i think that counts as being a wag
Ryan
roz and holzy have brainwashed the babies and the wags
it's over for us guys
Ilya
😚

Sadie
 
February 13, 2022 at 11:39 AM
so
whatcha doing tomorrow
🤭
you know what i'm doing
yes but i want confirmation
fine
i'm spending the day with jay
YESS MY BOY IS FINALLY GETTING A MANNN
🖕

Ilya
 
February 13, 2022 at 1:58 PM
you and jay are seeing each other tomorrow?
yes
okay
i like him for you
❤️
i do too

Jay 💛
 
February 14, 2022 at 9:18 AM
happy valentine's day luca ❤️
happy valentine's day jay ❤️
i'll see you in a couple of hours 😊
can't wait!!

NOT the babies 💪🤓
 
February 15, 2022 at 6:03 PM
Cory
GUYSDJFSDG
HOLY SHIT
Connor
??
Jacob
why tf are you yelling man
Cory
prefacing this with the fact that i got permission from luca to send these
Connor
"prefacing"
okay vocabulary king go off
Jacob
💀
Cory
5 Images Attached
Connor
WHAT THE FUCK
Jacob
HOLY SHIT?????
Cory
forgot my controller at his place again so i used my key to quickly grab it
and look what i found instead
or should i say WHOM
when i said i give you permission i didn't mean for you to make it this dramatic cory
Cory
YOU HAVE A BF
THAT YOU'VE HIDDEN THIS WHOLE TIME
whole time is a stretch
plus i did not hide anything ilya and shane knew
Connor
WHAT
Jacob
you told them and not us 😔
Cory
betrayal slander lies crime
jay says to tell you that you are a drama queen cory
Connor
is he READING THIS RN??
yes
Jacob
HI JAY nice to meet you please come to our next practice so we can interrogate, i mean talk to you
he says no
hey it's jay! i'll be there 😉

End Notes

luca bagging himself a computer science nerd 🤭 also guys i got way too invested in cory and isa while writing this LOL how do i keep getting invested in random side characters that i create 😭 but i will continue spreading my hollanov adopting the rookies agenda as far and wide as i can forever !!!!