Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Heated Rivalry (TV)

Relationships:

Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov, Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble & Shane Hollander

Characters:

Boston Bears | Boston Raiders Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Connors (Heated Rivalry), Brad Hammersmith, Ryan Carmichael, Victor St. Simon, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Hayden Pike, Rose Landry

Additional Tags:

Episode: s01e04 Rose (Heated Rivalry), Boston Bears | Boston Raiders (Game Changers), Texting Fic, Texting, Relationship Reveal, aka yet another fic where the bears try to get jane and ilya together, because ilya is being a menace and making them get up early, Happy Ending, phone calls (1), POV Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau, Good Friend Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau

Language:

English

Series:

Part 1 of fixer upper (the boston remix)

Stats:

Published: 2026-03-01 Words: 2,069 Chapters: 1/1

want u back (on behalf of his best friends)

Summary

figure out why they broke up

get them back together

get them married so they can never leave each other

and then we never have to deal with 4:30 am bag skates again

Hammersmith: works for me

Hammersmith: all in favor?

St-Simon: Aye aye assistant Captain.

Connors: fuck yeah

Carmuffin: hell yes

in which the boston bears are sick of their captain making them do early morning drills and vow to get him back with his ex, the girl they only know by the name of jane.

Notes

the title will make sense if youve ever watched frozen.
basically i got sick, rewatched heated rivalry, rewatched frozen, then fell asleep and pictured the trolls as the bears/raiders and them doing a musical number that involved a lot of bumping into each other while yelling the lyrics to fixer upper at full volume. yay.
but also the brain worm of raiders texting fic has got me in a chokehold so. hear ya go ig

• Inspired by The Jane Project by Amee19

Cliff Marlow has created Group Chat.

Cliff Marlow has renamed Group Chat to WHO YHE FUCK DID IT?!

Marlow has added Carmichael, Connors, and 2 others to WHO YHE FUCK DID IT?!

I WANT NAMES!!!

Connors: tf you talking about dude

Carmichael: also why the new gc.

Carmichael: and why isn't roz in here too??

Connors: that too.

St-Simon: I wanna know too, man. Why are you pissy?

St-Simon: And to add to Carmen why are you texting us when you are literally less than two feet away from my cubby. Like, I can read the messages on your fucking screen.

Carmichael: my names not carmen don't call me that

Carmichael: also you spelled the wrong in the gc name

Carmicheal has renamed WHO YHE FUCK DID IT?! to WHO THE FUCK DID IT?!

FOCUS.

Connors: on WHAT YOU HAVENT GIEVN US SHIT TO FOCUS ON

ON THE ISSUE AT HAND

St-Simon: I AM A HOCKEY PLAYER NOT A MOTHER FUCKING MINDREADER TELL ME TO MY FACE MARLOW.

Carmichael: yeah he's been concussed too many times to be a mindreader

St-Simon: Fuck You Carl.

Carmicheal: my? names? not? carl?

St-Simon: Your name is whatever I say it is.

fine

ill get to the point

who pissed rozanov off?

and the follow up question:

whose neck do i get to wring as payment for the blood debt that is making me get geared up and 4:30 in the fucking morning?

St-Simon: Probably Connors.

Carmichael: connors.

Connors: idk but its not me man

Connors: traitors

Connors: what do you even think I did?

i don't know.

that's the issue

ilya rozanov is fucking pissed at all of us, and he's taking that out on us in practice hours.

mandatory practice hours

which are hours that i get to spend less time with nicole

and the time i do get to spend time with her, i cant do shit cause my muscles hurt so bad

Carmichael: madatory's a big word marly

🖕

fuck you this is serious

St-Simon: Much as I hate to say it Marly's got a point.

thank you.

St-Simon: Of course man.

St-Simon: It's insane and it's been two weeks of this shit and I cannot skate more endurance laps.

Carmichael: i still think connors did it

Carmichael: whatever it is.

Connors: it wasn't me. give him some time and he'll chill off

St-Simon: Holy shit do you know what happened?

Connors: isn't it obvious?

if it were obvious would i have created an entire group chat excluding our beloved captain to figure out what the demon is that's been possessing our captain for 3 weeks

Connors: …

Connors: fair

Connors: anyways

Connors: i thought it was a breakup

Hammersmith: wut

St-Simon: Read back.

Hammersmith: reading back.

Carmichael: a breakup?

Carmichael: are we talking about the same rozy here

hold up.

Hammersmith: okay i'm back. sorry, i was showering

St-Simon: TMI.

Carmichael: we? literally? shower? communally?

Connors: 🚿🛁🧼🧦

Connors has changed their name to ConnoRizz.

are you ten

Marlow has changed ConnoRizz's name to Connors.

Connors: how did you do that

admin privileges

Carmichael: admin this ain't discord

Marlow has changed Carmicheal's name to Carmuffin.

St-Simon: Noo, that one's good, why didn't I think of it?!

Carmuffin: i hate you and i should have stayed in the minor leagues

Hammersmith: its ok man

anyways. topic at hand

Rozanov

its actually possible

Connors: wdym its possible??

Connors: WDYM ITS POSSIBLE MARLY COME BACK

JESUS CHRIST I WAS TYPING

YOUR MORE NEEDY THAN MY EX

FUCK

St-Simon: *you're

die

also. its possible.

because show of hands who here remembers that Montreal chick he sees whenever we play there

NOT LITERAL SHOW OF HAND CONNOR ROZYLL SEE YOU

Connors: OH SHIT HE DID SEE ME

Connors: HES LOOKING AT ME WEIRD

Connors: in my defense you didn't specify

the entire point of this chat was to be secret from him specifying was unessecary

St-Simon: *unnecessary.

that's what i said

back to Montreal chick.

her name is jane

he's been texting her since like early 3011? i think?

and he always looks all blushy when he does

St-Simon: Aww.

St-Simon: *2011

i will throttle you with your skate laces you smug motherfucker

Carmuffin: guys idk why you're still on your phone we gtg or he'll be even more pissy

Hammersmith: speak for yourselves I'm already out here.

Connors: fuck me he's gonna make us do bag skates isn't he

St-Simon: 😞

Connors: yk what i don't even care what happened i will gladly take the blame as long as it saves us from any more of this shit.

Carmuffin: marlow pls

Carmuffin: i'm not even pissy about the name thing anymore. just tell us abt jane so we can fix it.

Hammersmith: i'm not above begging. that was brutal.

St-Simon: Six. Fucking. Hours. Straight. Rozy barely let us break for water. My legs can't take this.

Connors: its like his heart got broke and now he's trying to make us match it.

Carmuffin: marly

Carmuffin: marly

Carmuffin: marly check your phone

Carmuffin: come on man

listen i know you guys are single and have never talked to a girl for longer than ten minutes, but some people's girlfriends enjoy it when they shower after practice.

St-Simon: He lives!

Connors: yay

Connors: now jane deets

Hammersmith: who still says deets.

Connors: me

Connors: DEETS MARLY

okay

in order:

he's been chatting with or has had her number since at least 2011

she's an absolute animal in the sheets

he blushes when he texts her and vehemently denies it when asked further questions

he gets a weird dopey smile when his phone chimes after montreal games

he vanishes after said games and very rarely goes out with us in montreal

very secretive, probably high profile job or something, and i caught a glimpse of them talking about rozy's power play in the last game once so i think she might be like a media person or something for the metros

clearly a very patient person for being able to put up with his bullshit for 5 years

Carmuffin: jesus christ man that's a lot

Hammersmith: what i want to know is what do we do with this info?

Connors: use it?

St-Simon: How?

Hammersmith: call her and beg her to get back with cap?

no that sounds desperate

Carmuffin: we ARE desperate

…

true

maybe we have to call her

Connors: we can't do that

St-Simon: Why not? It seems like our only option.

Connors: because we don't know this chick. we don't know why they broke up or what he did

Carmuffin: or who

Carmuffin: or if she cheated or something

Connors: exactly

okay, so we figure out who this girl is

and then we call her?

St-Simon: Sure. Not it.

for what?

St-Simon: Getting her contact information from Rozanov's phone. And also calling Jane.

Hammersmith: it should be you marly

why me?

Hammersmith: bc you're his best friend.

fuck you playing the emotions card

Hammersmith: :)

fine

gimme a few minutes for everyone else to clear out of the locker room

and for roz to get in the shower

ok its go time brb

done

St-Simon: Well?

Connors: yeah. spill.

okay so im scrolling back through the thread

not seeing breakup evidence, so it didn't happen over text

but the last message was sent like a month ago

Carmuffin: THATS WHEN THE HOCKEY DEMON POSSESSED ROZANOV

and before that they were texting all the time

holy shit roz must really love this girl

St-Simon: What makes you say that?

you know how roz hates ginger ale with a burning passion?

St-Simon: Yes. He never orders it.

St-Simon: And if we're at a bar he'll order anything under the sun.

Carmuffin: yes, and?

he bought a case of ginger ale. sent a pic and everything.

its roz's fridge too, i remember

for her

Carmuffin: oh shit this is like

Carmuffin: love love

Carmuffin: like soulmates type shit

yeah

its actually kind of adorable

St-Simon: Wow.

oh ew

Hammersmith: what'd i miss was eating a very good bagel

lol

but still eww

theres sexts in here

Connors: oh

St-Simon: skip past

will do

Carmuffin: boo no give us details is she hot?

fuck off carmicheal

oh shit

oh SHIT

Hammersmith: what?

Hammersmith: WHAT?

so.

umm.

remember how we made that bet when roz joined the team?

Connors: no??

Hammersmith: any bets we made i was probably drunk for.

i think we were drunk

and connors you weren't there

you hadn't been traded yet

Carmuffin: I REMEMBER

St-Simon: I do too.

St-Simon: Why?

because you both owe me 20 bucks motherfuckers

Hammersmith: ????

there's dick pics

Connors: its roz, of course there's dick pics

no

from jane

Hammersmith: oh. oh shit

yeah

and also i win, i said there was no way he didn't like dick at least sometimes.

Carmuffin: fuck

Connors: what was the bet

St-Simon: Smithy was, as he guessed, drunk and passed out, and Carmalade, Marly, and I made a bet on Roz's sexuality. Not very nice, I know. Still. I thought he was fully straight, Carmango said fruity as hell, and Marly bet that he was equal-opportunity.

Carmuffin: Carmalade? really? i don't think you've ever even had marmalade

St-Simon: I have not.

i see what you did with carmango and fruity.

funny

well done

gold star

St-Simon: Thank you. Glad to know somebody appreciates my genius.

Hammersmith: so roz's bi. or pan, or some other word, idk a lot of them

Hammersmith: anybody in this chat got a problem with that?

Hammersmith: cause ill rip your teeth out and seal them into a hockey puck that i will jam so far down your throat even surgery won't be able to get it out if you do

St-Simon: No problems here.

Connors: nope

no way man, rozy's my best friend

Carmuffin: of course not.

Hammersmith: good

Connors: also jesus fucking christ man that's a hardcore threat

Hammersmith: thank you i tried

Connors: you succeeded i am adequately terrified

Carmuffin: so new jane info: either a dude or a trans girl

yeah

oh nope definitely a dude

St-Simon: What makes you say that?

he/him pronouns used by roz and also a shirtless mirror selfie with no head but very clearly not boobs

St-Simon: Oh. Okay.

St-Simon: Jane must be a codename then. To prevent suspicion.

Hammersmith: oh

Hammersmith: what do we call him then?

Connors: just jane, i think? until we've got a better name

Hammersmith: ok

Carmuffin: wait

Carmuffin: didn't he also meet up with montreal girl in boston sometimes?

oh shoot forgot that, yeah he did.

but only when we were against montreal

so either he's a really devoted fan or

oh shit roz's shower just shut off gotta put the phone back

Connors: marly?

Connors: you alive?

yeah

just had to make up an excuse for still being here

we're good

Carmuffin: what were you gonna say?

a player

St-Simon: Well, how jacked would you say the selfie was?

very. on par with me if not more

Hammersmith: well.

Hammersmith: shit

shit indeed.

fuck me

fuck fuck fuck

what do we do with this

roz is fucking a metros player

jesus christ he told us he liked trouble i didn't think he meant this

St-Simon: *fucking in love with

the one correction from you i will accept

Carmuffin: i've just got one problem

Hammersmith: can you hear me cracking my knuckles

Carmuffin: not with that!!!

Carmuffin: not with that.

Carmuffin: just

Carmuffin: did it have to be a metros player?

Carmuffin: like

Carmuffin: so many other teams in the league

Carmuffin: did it have to be Montreal?

lol

we can ask him when we get them back together

Connors: so the plan is still on?

yeah.

we figure out which player

figure out why they broke up

get them back together

get them married so they can never leave each other

and then we never have to deal with 4:30 am bag skates again

Hammersmith: works for me

Hammersmith: all in favor?

St-Simon: Aye aye assistant Captain.

Connors: fuck yeah

Carmuffin: hell yes

Carmuffin: but can you change my name to something normal please its not letting me

Cliff Marlow has changed Carmuffin's name to Armadillo

Armadillo: what in the actual everloving fuck marly

i was gonna do Carmaggeddon but then carmadillo occurred to me and i shortened it

your other option is carnitas micheal because i really want tacos right now

Armadillo: fuck you